Emotional Support

[zorua9]

Ælex trust me when I say "do not dwell on the bad thoughts" I lost my dog a few months ago so I can understand, I didn't want to go to school or to work, but I just reminded myself of stupid jokes and foul humour and I had people to talk to, we on the dc forum will help..... I know I know we are strangers.... but strangers with common feelings. I have not gotten over my dogs death, I still cry sometimes, which is okay, crying helps..... just think of the positives you had with your bro, the pain doesn't go away, but you can make that pain numb by having fun, like reading books, playing video games, having a merry conversation with someone. also, never feel like nobody knows what you are going through, you would be surprised how many feel sad of a loss.

 

sorry to hear Emma, this might sound stupid, but maybe set up a parent-teacher-student-student teacher interview and just talk about this problem, if your school has a welfare, talk to the consoler, they have more power then you think. never think not to ask the teacher for help in maths or any other subject, teachers hate when people don't ask for help........

 

well anyways, to anyone who is feeling down... just listen to music..... metal YAY!! ,

 

This might sound silly, I have stage fright... I don't like going up in front of people and talking about stuff, and my teacher thinks to help me pass year 12 that I read a creative story that I have been writing in class for you know creative writing part of the literacy thing...... I don't know if I should read it out loud as I don't think many of my class mates are into fantasy (like the lord of the rings).... idk..... also.... I am nervious because even though I have 6 weeks of school left.... I wanna go to school after that because I have friends with students and maybe teachers.... I make people laugh ....

[Ayesthine]

@Ælex

All I can really offer you are my deepest, deepest condolences. I've never been through anything similar and I can't really claim to know what you're feeling, but I just want you to know that (for whatever it's worth) you have every right to be grieve and cry and do whatever else you do to cope. You have every right to be angry and upset.

 

My only advice is to not focus on the when. Grief doesn't have a timeline. There isn't a set cutoff point, after which you have to feel better. Take as long as you need, and do whatever you have to to take care of yourself.

 

I know I'm only a random person on the internet, and you have no idea who I am, but if you need someone to talk to I'm online nearly all the time. Shoot me a PM. Whatever I can do to help, I'm willing, even (or perhaps especially) if all that is is validating your feelings.

[Cupup889]

Oh Ælex, I'm sorry for your loss, I send my condolences your way.

 

Please don't hurt yourself over this. I've never gone through something like this, but I want you to know you'll be ok. It'll hurt, for a long time.

 

However, the pain will lessen, and it'll get easier on your part. Please try to remember all the good about him.

 

Please don't hurt yourself, your family needs you now, more than you may think. It's fine to be angry, spiteful, upset, and it's fine to cry. Don't hold back emotions like those, they'll build up . . .

 

I'm no therapist, I'm some random chick from the internet, but me, and many others, are here for you. Again, I'm truly sorry.

 

Take time to relax and process your thoughts, gather them together. Take time to breath. Take your emotions out in a healthy way. Heck, if I was there I'd let you punch me if need be!

 

It will get better, it will take a while, and there will always be that ounce of hurt you can't remove.

 

But It'll get better. I promise.

[hazeh]

Ælex,

 

I know I don't know you and I didn't know your brother very well. But when I did roleplay with him, I always loved his style and his characters. I am so sorry. He was a really fun guy to talk to and roleplay with. If there is anything I can do for you besides give my sincerest condolences, please let me know. You're among friends.

[nlechoppa]

I lost my little brother, about two weeks ago. He was a victim of medical malpractice after a reportedly successful appendectomy. I won't go into detail, but we are pressing charges, and hard.

Since the incident, I've been too out of it to get into work, or my university responsibilities. I just always seem to be either fuming with rage about what happened, or unable to stop thinking about the loss.

I've picked up the horrible habit of ending almost every night wasted or flattened on the wacky backy.

Yesterday my family intervened, and now I'm trying to get it together with their help.

I saw this thread, and wanted to ask those who have gone through such a thing, how did you get over it, and more importantly, when?

Can't really do anything but feel sorry for you.

[Windra]

O-Oh my goodness Ælex, I had no idea!! I'm so sorry, I can't imagine how that feels.

 

I can understand the pain of passing, though. My grandfather died about a year ago and it was very hard to deal with. It was also the first death I had ever seen, adding to my shock and dismay. I probably would have done much worse without the support of my friends: particularly, my best friend. The pain lessens when among people who care-- and I promise it'll get better.

 

Brotato was nice to rp with, and very pleasant when we interacted. I'm very sorry for his loss. You have my sympathy and support if you need it.

[georgexu94]

I lost my little brother, about two weeks ago. He was a victim of medical malpractice after a reportedly successful appendectomy. I won't go into detail, but we are pressing charges, and hard.

Since the incident, I've been too out of it to get into work, or my university responsibilities. I just always seem to be either fuming with rage about what happened, or unable to stop thinking about the loss.

I've picked up the horrible habit of ending almost every night wasted or flattened on the wacky backy.

Yesterday my family intervened, and now I'm trying to get it together with their help.

I saw this thread, and wanted to ask those who have gone through such a thing, how did you get over it, and more importantly, when?

Bloody hell! I couldn't imagine such monstrosity. There. There.

[ValidEmotions]

Ælex, I'm truly sorry for your loss. I knew Brotato a little but not to a great extent. He had been an interesting person to talk to and RP with; he'll be missed here.

 

I probably don't have the advice you were hoping to hear. It's good to know that your family has intervened and you are trying to recover with their help. The biggest thing I can tell you is to keep your family and friends close; don't push anyone away. Especially those willing to give you support through this. You'll need it to keep your chin up.

 

It's going to be hard. For a long time, it's going to be hard. That's the truth. Don't let anyone try to dictate how you should grieve or for how long.

 

I lost my great grandmother at the end of just this past August. That loss still greatly hurts. But I'm coping. I'm getting through each day in my own way. Do I still get emotional about it? Most definitely.

 

And that's okay.

 

Even if you don't get emotional in a manner similar to other people, that's okay. Everyone grieves differently. It's just a matter of grieving in a healthy manner. (If you're doing something that's self-destructive, then get help for sure.)

 

To date, there have been five deaths in my family. At the age of 21, I only remember four of them. Of the four, the earlier three still ache. But that's okay. I have my memories about them and they make me smile. In the long run, I cherish the fact that I had the opportunity to have those people in my life.

 

So, do what you need to do in order to grieve in your own way (as long as it isn't self-destructive). Talk to your family, accept their support and keep them close. Don't push anyone away. Seek comfort when you need it. If you need something to keep yourself going, something productive or physical, take part in some kind of hobby like a sport, writing, or something else.

 

Coping is different for everyone and based on what helps you best get through each day. For me, that's being productive so I focus on school work or chores. And, when I'm ready to relax, I come here to RP, read, or draw. Sometimes, if I need a physical outlet, I'll play racquetball or exercise (like sit-ups). I'll also wash dishes or clean to keep my hands busy.

 

Find something that will help you and use it. Because something like this is hard emotionally. It will always be hard. But you don't have to endure it alone.

Edited October 7, 2015 by Narvix

[RWyvern]

To everyone who responded to my earlier post, thanks so much for your support. As of fifteen minutes ago my sister's been taken to the hospital, and now all I can do is just hope for the best.

 

As for the game meet, I'll be heading up there with my father at some point, once his knee's healed. I'm still way too apprehensive but... I could be missing out on so much if I don't go.

 

I'd just feel kinda dumb as a legal adult still dragging a parent around.

[Ælex]

Thank you all for the kind words.

I'm feeling much better after two days spent as sober as a judge.

Speaking of judges, I have a court case to focus on right now.

 

@rampaging_wyvern There's no reason to feel embarrassed about that at all. Da' and myself go out from time to time, hit the bar and chat like regular folks most often. We have gone to Convention Centers, and seen soccer games as so called "situational friends". It's a special kind of bonding experience that makes it all worth while to see your old man happy to have raised you for more reasons than just your other successes in life.

 

Same can be said when I help mum do the shopping, or drive her around town. She gets nervous driving da's huge-arse 4x4 land rover, so I am usually called to take his place when he isn't available.

 

I wish your father a speedy recovery, and good luck in your upcoming endeavors.

[Shienvien]

@Ælex: Loss will never go completely away, but in time, it gets set in the background and only resurfaces when you think on it. Feel free to grieve, feel free to redirect your focus - whatever works for you. If you do any sorts of physical activities, it might be a good idea to indulge in that, as much as your brain being distracted by the loss doesn't interfere with it as much. Alcohol tends to only amplify negative feelings and cause loss of motivation to act, so staying sober is the way to go. I saw Brotato around these forums quite a bit, and I'm genuinely sorry for your loss. I wish you'll at least find closure in the court case, and the people responsive won't be given the chance to cause such grief again. Your brother will be remembered.

[Windra]

I don't really know if it's good to write things when you're upset, but I guess I just need to get it out.

 

My mother is filing for divorce at last from when she split up with my father about a year ago. He had been quitting his jobs at least once every few months... And long story short, we just couldn't pay rent for our apartment in Austin anymore. We're lucky that my grandmother (a wonderful woman) was willing to take us in, or we would be on the streets because of him. But being prideful and in denial about our circumstances, Dad basically stated that he was "done" with my mother, kicked her out of the house while I was at a friend's for a sleepover, and threatened to throw her stuff on the street.

 

We got the police involved, so we were able to get most of our things.

 

After that we parted ways on unfriendly terms. He went to a friend's house to stay, and we went to Grandma's out in the country. In the middle of nothing. I'm grateful for what we have, but it feels like I haven't made any friends here, even after a year. And to make things worse, my mom started dating a new man named Steve. Now, I have nothing against him personally. He's a nice, honest person. But I feel like he's trying to replace my father when he never, ever will. That makes me uncomfortable. When mom asked my permission to date him, though... I said yes. What else could I do? Her happiness counts too, doesn't it?

 

But now today, she's saying that after my sister's wedding in January, we have to STAY with him? Perhaps permanently, if they get married? That means we'll have to move yet again, and the few friends I've made around here will be inaccessible. I feel like I'm about to scream, and that I'm not in control of my life whatsoever. My mom has anger issues she's always struggled with, so bringing this up with her would just cause a lot of drama and hurt and confusion.

 

Thanks for listening. I just needed to get this off my chest.

[Kiti]

I don't really know if it's good to write things when you're upset, but I guess I just need to get it out.

 

My mother is filing for divorce at last from when she split up with my father about a year ago. He had been quitting his jobs at least once every few months... And long story short, we just couldn't pay rent for our apartment in Austin anymore. We're lucky that my grandmother (a wonderful woman) was willing to take us in, or we would be on the streets because of him. But being prideful and in denial about our circumstances, Dad basically stated that he was "done" with my mother, kicked her out of the house while I was at a friend's for a sleepover, and threatened to throw her stuff on the street.

 

We got the police involved, so we were able to get most of our things.

 

After that we parted ways on unfriendly terms. He went to a friend's house to stay, and we went to Grandma's out in the country. In the middle of nothing. I'm grateful for what we have, but it feels like I haven't made any friends here, even after a year. And to make things worse, my mom started dating a new man named Steve. Now, I have nothing against him personally. He's a nice, honest person. But I feel like he's trying to replace my father when he never, ever will. That makes me uncomfortable. When mom asked my permission to date him, though... I said yes. What else could I do? Her happiness counts too, doesn't it?

 

But now today, she's saying that after my sister's wedding in January, we have to STAY with him? Perhaps permanently, if they get married? That means we'll have to move yet again, and the few friends I've made around here will be inaccessible. I feel like I'm about to scream, and that I'm not in control of my life whatsoever. My mom has anger issues she's always struggled with, so bringing this up with her would just cause a lot of drama and hurt and confusion.

 

Thanks for listening. I just needed to get this off my chest.

Why don't you ask your grandmother about how she feels? You could use her to stay put if she wants her grandkids (ie you) to stay with her since you said your sister was getting married and usually people move out after that.

[Windra]

Ah, I totally would, if I could... It's just my sister is about ten years older, and actually lives all the way in California! That's where we're going to go for the wedding, too.

 

Also I did tell her, and she seemed rather sad, but didn't know the right answer. Mom really does love this man, and she WOULD be heartbroken if I didn't go with her/opposed the decision...

[Kiti]

Ah, I totally would, if I could... It's just my sister is about ten years older, and actually lives all the way in California! That's where we're going to go for the wedding, too.

 

Also I did tell her, and she seemed rather sad, but didn't know the right answer. Mom really does love this man, and she WOULD be heartbroken if I didn't go with her/opposed the decision...

Well you have until January to decide. You gotta figure out what's best for you too.

 

Does your grandmother live alone other wise? how old is she? Are any other relatives close/ check on her ? there's several reasons why staying with her would be better for both your healths. But several reasons why going would be good too. But I don't know.

 

My grandma's 83 and until my uncle shot himself (married my dad's sister-she's schizophrenic and doesn't currently have custody of her kids) she lived alone. After my uncle killed himself last month she got custody. So old ladies are fairly resilient. (after all how do you suppose they got old?)

 

My Aunt's schizophrenia though comes into effect...

 

my brother's 17 and has admitted to hearing voices. he's at the right age to start showing symptoms and It's really worrying me. Meanwhile My health's getting worse. right now I'm on a couch in the lobby of a building on campus wondering if I'm going to be able to get up because of how badly my legs are hurting . much less walk across the side walk to my next class. (in knee ,ankle, and wrist braces atm. hands and wrists got so bad I couldn't take it anymore and bought a pair to hold the joints in place)

 

 

I'm 19. I shouldn't having these problems.

[Paintra]

I don't really know if it's good to write things when you're upset, but I guess I just need to get it out.

 

My mother is filing for divorce at last from when she split up with my father about a year ago. He had been quitting his jobs at least once every few months... And long story short, we just couldn't pay rent for our apartment in Austin anymore. We're lucky that my grandmother (a wonderful woman) was willing to take us in, or we would be on the streets because of him. But being prideful and in denial about our circumstances, Dad basically stated that he was "done" with my mother, kicked her out of the house while I was at a friend's for a sleepover, and threatened to throw her stuff on the street.

 

We got the police involved, so we were able to get most of our things.

 

After that we parted ways on unfriendly terms. He went to a friend's house to stay, and we went to Grandma's out in the country. In the middle of nothing. I'm grateful for what we have, but it feels like I haven't made any friends here, even after a year. And to make things worse, my mom started dating a new man named Steve. Now, I have nothing against him personally. He's a nice, honest person. But I feel like he's trying to replace my father when he never, ever will. That makes me uncomfortable. When mom asked my permission to date him, though... I said yes. What else could I do? Her happiness counts too, doesn't it?

 

But now today, she's saying that after my sister's wedding in January, we have to STAY with him? Perhaps permanently, if they get married? That means we'll have to move yet again, and the few friends I've made around here will be inaccessible. I feel like I'm about to scream, and that I'm not in control of my life whatsoever. My mom has anger issues she's always struggled with, so bringing this up with her would just cause a lot of drama and hurt and confusion.

 

Thanks for listening. I just needed to get this off my chest.

((I know a little bit more about the situation, which is why some things may be confusing))

 

I think that the two best things to do in this situation is talk to your grandmother, and wait. The thing is, January is in a long time from now, and a lot of things can change. A lot of things have to fall into place for that to work out. Your grandmother is a confidant, so she's really important. You can tell her what's wrong. And, while your grandmother doesn't really have power over your mother, the thing is that your mom's gonna feel bad about leaving your grandma alone. You could ask her to talk to her about it, and say things such as "I'd really appreciate company." Also, how on Earth is your education supposed to continue? Your grandma's the one who teaches you most of your stuff.

 

I don't really know if any of this is helpful advice. I don't know if this helps at all.

[AngesRadieux]

I have a completely, totally dysfunctional relationship with my thesis advisor. Basically, I don't like her. She doesn't like me. Her solution? To put off meeting with me for as long as possible, show up late to meetings, not read anything I send her until the last minute, and shove me out the door as soon as possible. It's driving me up the wall. We're supposed to be meeting weekly. It takes me like two weeks to even get a meeting with her, because she just lets my e-mails sit in her inbox and doesn't get back to me until I forward her the original message and ask if she got it.

 

And now when we do have meetings I just resent it. Because last time she came strolling in late with a giant iced coffee. Thanks for making an effort to get here on time! And then she'd only read half of what I sent her. In fact, she'd completely forgotten I'd even sent the first part. She pushed me out the door in half an hour. And then she swore she would e-mail me comments on the section she didn't read. Guess what I haven't received?

 

Like, I get that she's busy with other stuff! But she didn't have to agree to be my thesis advisor! I had another professor who was willing to do it if she didn't have time. So she could have just said "no" and spared us both the trouble of dealing with this! And I told her when I asked her that I would like for her to be my advisor, because I had asked her first, but if she was too busy this other professor said it wouldn't be a problem. So knowing full well that I had someone else willing to work with me, she signed my application and agreed to help with my project.

 

I just sent her some more stuff. Her response? Oh, you have stuff? Great! So, then, let's postpone our already overdue meeting for a week! Okay?

 

It's just killing me.

 

Because I have a dysfunctional relationship with just about every professor. Whenever I have any interactions with them, my brain is automatically going "Oh, no. They hate me. I said/did something stupid and now I made them hate me. What can I do to make them not hate me?!" That is how I approach professors--with horrific anxiety. I can't trust them. I feel like I have to perpetually prove that I'm worthy of their attention. It doesn't matter how well I'm doing in a class. I always feel like if I haven't already screwed something up, I will down the road. Or I'll start off the semester busting my butt and working at an unsustainable pace. And then I'll terrify myself that when finally something has to give and I can't keep up pulling things off by ridiculous deadlines everyone will suddenly lose interest.

 

Like, I basically operate under the assumption that if a professor doesn't hate me now, they will either start to or at the very least completely lose interest in me somewhere down the road.

 

I was in a situation for two years with a professor who was borderline abusive, and I had a lot of really awful experiences. It's so bad that over the summer I found an old assignment from her, and I was torn between anger and anxiety literally the entire day. Just looking at her handwriting, I felt my heart racing. Even after not having seen her for years, I still have occasional nightmares about her.

 

And I know that's just set me up to be desperately insecure around all my professors now. And this thesis advisor is just dredging it all up. Like sending her an e-mail with "Hey! I got all this done!" and having her come back at me using that as justification for putting off our meeting... It's just killing me.

 

It seems really silly and trivial compared to everything everyone else here posts about, but I just needed to vent.

[HeatherMarie]

I just really need to rant/ramble/ get this out right now.

 

I had a very, very bad day at work today. I honestly don't know what happened, but my anxiety was *insanely* high and I kept crying for no known reason. I was doing tasks that I always do, nothing was out of the ordinary, but I was using all my coping skills and nothing was working. I ended up going home early, after only 1 1/2 hours. *headdesks* And I just did a really stupid thing and I now regret doing it but what's done is done and.... yikes.

[Fuzzbucket]

I just really need to rant/ramble/ get this out right now.

 

I had a very, very bad day at work today. I honestly don't know what happened, but my anxiety was *insanely* high and I kept crying for no known reason. I was doing tasks that I always do, nothing was out of the ordinary, but I was using all my coping skills and nothing was working. I ended up going home early, after only 1 1/2 hours. *headdesks* And I just did a really stupid thing and I now regret doing it but what's done is done and.... yikes.

All I can say is - have a BIG HUG and stop blaming yourself. We all do crap at times. Everyone will get over it. Go have a lovely hot bath and listen to soothing music.

[georgexu94]

I just really need to rant/ramble/ get this out right now.

 

I had a very, very bad day at work today. I honestly don't know what happened, but my anxiety was *insanely* high and I kept crying for no known reason. I was doing tasks that I always do, nothing was out of the ordinary, but I was using all my coping skills and nothing was working. I ended up going home early, after only 1 1/2 hours. *headdesks* And I just did a really stupid thing and I now regret doing it but what's done is done and.... yikes.

The past is in the past. You can no longer go back. What's interesting is that what you do now can change your future. You can do this! Just have hope. Even if you don't have something to look forward to, just remain to have hope.

[NoraNora]

Spent around two hours making a nice card for my parents anniversary yesterday..and the two hours were spent perfecting a drawing I made in the card for them..

 

I gave it to my father since he likes to read them first..

 

He proceeded to insult my coloring job, drawing, accuracy.. REALLY?! My mother absolutely loved it, but like....really. I put work into that picture, it may not look like a masterpiece, but at least I cared enough to make something like that...Maybe I won't make cards anymore, hm? Jerk..

 

Still no new friends, and the student counselor has yet to call me down for updates when she's supposed to. Mehh.

 

//changes subject a bit

 

Ever since I joined the Anime club at my school, I've been feeling so ridiculously anxious there, like I'm going to tear up or run out randomly, and I have no clue why. It isn't because of being called on or whatever, because I am friends with the 'creator' of the club, and she understands my comfort zones...I don't even know.. BUT..a friend of mine brought me to the GSA club(sexual orientation club), and even though they didn't like, welcome me all energetic like and such like I thought at first, I felt extremely comfortable there. It was just a nice atmosphere..somewhat small group,but very nice. I don't want to leave the Anime club, and if I join GSA my father will flip out..blagghhhhhh what's going on with my life?!

[RWyvern]

Tw for anorexia, suicide mention, self harming. Mods, if I'm not allowed to speak of this to the extent I do, apologies in advance.

 

So I've been given an update on my sister's condition... she's not responding to tube feeding as fast as was hoped, she's in a wheelchair, heart's weak and basically the nurses have her under very strict watch for the above reasons along with others like suicidal thoughts and tendency to self harm. The other day she reportedly informed mum that she didn't want to get better.

 

And I'm so scared something terrible's gonna happen or she relapses in a few years.

 

I don't know how my older sister's faring through all this, as she hasn't spoken to me of it and she really doesn't openly shows emotions. I always try to keep an optimistic personality in front of others, but I've been cracking in front of mum as of late. She reassures me it's going to be alright but as per usual, the doubts creep in.

 

I know there's nothing you guys can really do, but let it be known that I keep rereading your responses to the last time I brought this up and it really helps. Thank you all <3

[xxBurningxx]

I'm feeling terribly scared and shaken right now.

 

My [insert multitude of swear words here] step-dad, after arguing/causing more emotional abuse to my mom, left the utility door open even though he was aware my ferret was out playing.

 

...My ferret then (who is basically my child) found his way into the utility room, spurred by the curiosity that comes along with all ferrets, and found his way behind the dryer. Now, the tubing that drains to outside the house has been broken for months, and aforementioned [more swear words] step-dad of course, hasn't fixed it (despite mother asking him repeatedly over the past few months).

 

This tubing was broken open to the point that my precious little child got inside and managed to escape to the outdoors.

 

When I noticed that I hadn't seen him running around, that's when I discovered the left-open door and freaked. I was this absolute horrid mixture of infuriated and scared to the core. When I alerted my mom (who loves my ferret maybe as much as I do) and my step-dad, we went on a hunt for him outside. After about 10 minutes of looking, stomping around (because my ferret is deaf, which only made matters worse), and me assuming the worst, I finally found him back by the fence about to escape our yard. Needless to say, I cleaned the mud off him and then cuddled him for about 20 minutes.

 

But I'm so ridiculously shaken at what could have happened tonight.

 

I know this might sound a bit over-dramatic/silly to someone who does not share a deep bond with an animal, but I cannot stress enough that I love this ferret /like a child/. He is my son. And I almost lost him tonight due to the stupidity of someone who's been causing me years of emotional stress and abuse.

 

I've been in a bad mental state lately, and there are a very limited number of things that keep me grounded to reality, my ferret being one of those things. I've already been tempted to fall back into the cycle of some bad habits because of the crap my step-dad's been pulling lately, and I can't imagine how bad things would get if my ferret disappeared forever.

 

Oh, and what else? My step-dad then jokes about it, like IT'S NO BIG DEAL. He's there like, "Hahah, yeah, I guess I should have fixed that. Tonight marks Gumball's first escape from the house! " I was/still absolutely enraged. I shouted something along the lines of how it wasn't funny and then took my baby back to his cage in my room.

 

I'm just so...like my hands are still shaking a little bit right now. Man...I just--I think anyone who's experienced almost losing a loved animal knows how I feel. I just wish I could get the terrible images of what could have happened to him if I hadn't found him in time out of my head. :/

[georgexu94]

I feel terrible; I'm not very good in these comforting skills.

[Tomato_Juice]

I'm reading other people's posts and really feel insignificant to all of them, like my problems are way more minor. But it still hurts me sometimes.

 

This thing happened a few months ago, but I'm only writing about it now.

 

So basically last year I was good friends with this girl in my class. Like really really good friends. We spent every recess together and we talked, we gamed, we enjoyed each other's company so much. Being with her made me really happy, and we were very close. I introduced her to Minecraft, and we kind of bonded over it, and it brought us closer. We spent nearly every moment together on our computers playing Minecraft and building this awesome world together. I thought nothing could go wrong.

 

Then early this year, she ditched me for a group of cooler kids.

 

At first I didn't notice. Then it became clear that she was now friends with them. Thinking we were still friends, I would sit with her and her new group of friends for recess. After a few days it became apparent I wasn't welcome there. Then it sunk in that she had dumped me for them.

 

I was very upset. At that time I felt really empty, since my very good friend had now left me. She had ditched me, a normal person, a 'nobody', for the 'somebodies' in class. (In our class, the 'class politics' are very clear.) I guess she didn't have the same interests as me anymore, but that's not a problem, since I'm adaptable and can change to suit other people's needs. Or maybe she just thought I wasn't cool enough for her.

 

She's changed, I can tell. She's now more fashion conscious and concerned about her image, and she dresses and talks like the other girls in the group. She hardly notices me now, and I bet she didn't even realise she had dumped me as a friend. I'm not sad that she now has a group of closer friends. I don't hate them; they're pretty nice people. But I'm just upset, and kind of mad, that she totally doesn't care about me now.

 

Now she hardly speaks to me. The only times she does are to ask to use my phone hotspot when she needs Wifi, and it uses up a lot of my data allowance, but I still do it because I try to me nice to her. I feel like now she's using me for her own advantage. Once we had to pair up for an activity, and she asked to pair with me. At first I was really excited as I thought it was back to the good old days, but no, I realised she had only done so because all the people in her clique had already paired up. So it's kinda like she's using me as her 'back-up friend', and I don't like it.

 

Well, she might have forgotten about me, but deep down I still do care for her, and even hope that we might become close again, like in the past. I know these friendship problems are really common in everyone, but this one hurts me every time I think of it because now she's starting to use me after she's ditched me as a friend. Any advice?