Emotional Support

[georgexu94]

So I'm living away from home for the first time and I haven't found a job yet, mostly because I haven't been trying hard enough. I'm not going to sugar coat that, job searches are hard and I'm a slacker. That's not what I'm here about, though... I just got a text from my dad asking me how things were going and saying that it's been a long time since I called.

 

I don't want to reply to it, or call him back. I don't want to have to admit that I haven't found a job yet, and just go through the same old thing, and I feel so guilty about that. But what can I say? The only thing that will stop him from giving me the same old lecture is to say I have a job, and that would be a lie.

 

Either way I feel guilty as all get out, and I've spent today feeling worthless and getting absolutely nothing done with my job search because I've been trying to make myself feel better instead. Bah, being related to people is so hard.

Aww.. *huggles* Also been finding a job now.. And yes, I still am terrible at it. I'm asking for help in making a resume at our Placement Office. You could probably do the same. And don't be afraid to tell your dad that you still haven't found a job. Maybe he can give you advice.

 

You might not know it, but strange things happen.

[Cottoncat]

(I deleted)

Edited July 14, 2019 by Cottoncat

[Omega Entity]

CottonKatt said:

[Deleted at request of op]

You can't change the past, and hindsight is, of course, 20/20. Age difference will matter less the older you get (more equal footing maturity-wise, etc.), but when you're younger it's really not the best thing - though I'm preaching to the choir, here. I don't know how much older the guy you're talking about is, but it sounds like he might have taken advantage of your naivete. Frankly, I don't think you have anything to feel guilty about, especially if that's the case.

 

You're young and I know it seems like it'll bother you forever, but it'll get easier as you get older, and eventually you'll get to the point where you'll think, "Damn, why did I let that bother me so much?". It's all part of learning as you grow, and this experience will shape how you make romantic decisions later on - what you see as mistakes now will help you avoid them in the future.

 

So, chin up. It'll get easier as time goes on!

Edited July 15, 2019 by hazeh

[NoraNora]

Fine dad. Make me cry. Crush your daughters self esteem some more. I took three hours on that picture. You paid no mind to it and got right to putting me so far down. I'm so done. Because of you I cried so hard. You don't even know how depressed I am right now.

[Obscure_Trash]

CottonKatt said:

[deleted at request of op]

Why are you feeling so guilty? You're the younger party here. This person who was older should have known better. They took advantage of you. That sucks and it's so hard to get over.

 

Don't try to force yourself to do anything you're not comfortable with or ready for. When those guilty thoughts come to you, recognize them, and let them pass. Assure yourself that it's over now. That YOU got yourself out.

 

It is so completely fine to be happy that you got out of that unhealthy relationship! Celebrate it. That's an awesome thing you accomplished. So relax and know that I, at least, and so proud of you that you managed an escape from that relationship. That is a HUGE step in and of itself. And it is such a hard step. You did fantastic.

 

Forgiveness takes time. You'll get there, you will. ❤️

Edited July 15, 2019 by hazeh

[zorua9]

Slow down Nora, what happened.....?

[Cottoncat]

(I deleted)

Edited July 14, 2019 by Cottoncat

[Laryal]

Hi My family just had a call about my uncle very bad news.He has cancer all over his body from Agent Orange during the Vietnam War. My aunt says they do not know how long he will live.They can do a bone marrow but only three hospitals do that in the US.I burst into tears when i head this news.Please pray for my family thanks.

[PumpkinPyromaniac]

It might not be important, it may not be significant. But if I could just get as many people as I can to send this message to everyone they know, then maybe it'll make a difference. It's just something that needs to be said and spread.

 

* * *

 

Hi there. You may not know me too well, but that's okay. I just wanted to let you know that you are important, that you matter, and that you are beautifully and wonderfully you. If anyone ever tries to tell you otherwise, they're wrong. So nobody is perfect. But you know what, that's okay--nobody has to be. Every mistake you've made and are going to make (because let's face it, we're all human) is going to help you learn and grow stronger. You aren't alone, ever. I wish I had someone telling me that a long time ago, but now I'm telling you. No matter what happens, you are loved and cherished. And I mean that. I really do.

I hope you have a wonderful day, and remember to hold your head up high. Don't be afraid to be yourself, because you're the best person you know. And always remember that you are loved.

 

* * *

 

[NoraNora]

This is unbelievably weird and pathetic, feel free to skip over it.

 

Sitting here in near tears for the dumbest freaking reason.

I don't know myself..still.

A new friend I managed to make believes I could be a Lolita. THERE ARE SO MANY KINDS WTTTFF.

I'm not hating on them, I'm just so lost...

I want to find myself, loli or not and stop this confusion..i think about it Nearly every day, and thanks to what my dads recently said my depression is making me emotional over it...

Why is this so hard.....

 

In other news...my father keeps slapping my rear. Not like that sports butt smack but like, I don't know, something from movies when guys are perverts. Its freaking creepy. Seriously..i don't need all this Mudkip going on...already near failing History because I'm an idiot.

[sparkle10184]

This is unbelievably weird and pathetic, feel free to skip over it.

 

Sitting here in near tears for the dumbest freaking reason.

I don't know myself..still.

A new friend I managed to make believes I could be a Lolita. THERE ARE SO MANY KINDS WTTTFF.

I'm not hating on them, I'm just so lost...

I want to find myself, loli or not and stop this confusion..i think about it Nearly every day, and thanks to what my dads recently said my depression is making me emotional over it...

Why is this so hard.....

 

In other news...my father keeps slapping my rear. Not like that sports butt smack but like, I don't know, something from movies when guys are perverts. Its freaking creepy. Seriously..i don't need all this Mudkip going on...already near failing History because I'm an idiot.

If your dad is doing anything sexual to you, you need to tell someone. If he doesn't stop when you tell him it makes you uncomfortable you have to get someone else involved. This is very serious. Tell your doctor, a counselour, the police.. whoever you can get in touch with.

[NoraNora]

If your dad is doing anything sexual to you, you need to tell someone. If he doesn't stop when you tell him it makes you uncomfortable you have to get someone else involved. This is very serious. Tell your doctor, a counselour, the police.. whoever you can get in touch with.

But I don't actually know if its a sexual kind of thing. Though even if its not, its still really weird..

[purplehaze]

But I don't actually know if its a sexual kind of thing. Though even if its not, its still really weird..

Just the fact that it makes you uncomfortable is reason enough to talk to someone about it.

[Toxic_remedy]

Warning abuse trigger (for those ppl out there, I know a lot of books that never use this trigger warn but beware)

I've been having night mare recently

Or day mares...

 

But they get bad and they come from my past. You see I don't want to seem like some show heart broken kid because I'm not. But my mom use to abuse my family (mostly my father and sister) sense I was younger and I hate my self for it, I shouldn't feel hurt, they were the one beaten, I use to crawl under my bed at 230 in the morning while shouting at my sister that she would kill her. I know my mum had so my mental problems the doc didn't know about.(my mum is doing better I guess but, it doesn't stop the panic attacks)

But I made my self so mad, I was always her "little angel" her favourite child

 

AND I hate it!!!

I mean don't I deserve what happened to them, Haley my older sis would be thrown into a wall or shoved into a colest if she so much as woke me up at night, and now I'm crying but I don't deserve to cry.

Maybe this is alcoming up because my mom finally turned on my 8 months ago, she almost broke my arm, my toe, and gave me a black eye (I had to shave a side of my head so people at school won't take notice to the chunk of hair she pulled out, but that's not the worst part

 

For 10 years my sister had to deal with the same thing that happened to me and no more then 3 days in school and the teachers found out, I was no longer aloud to see my mum and I mean why did no one help her? Why do they care so much about me, Haley was hurt so much worst then me I deserved what happened!

 

SHE DIDNT

And even though there's that little voice in my head that says I'm full of shizz, I can't help but ignore it

[Kiti]

We have to take this dumb test called the MoGEA (teacher ACT) and there’s 3 dates for it, all either on wedsday,thursday,or tuesday from 8 am to 1 pm. My lecture hall class (which I can’t miss any more of without getting dropped) is on tuesdays and thursdays from 12:30 to 1:45 not to mention I do student teaching at a special needs class room from 9:00 am to 11:30 am so I’ll miss that entirely.

 

 

The wedsday one is at the exact same time as the meeting I have with a social worker about applying for disability so I can’t do it . My generation of students is the very first that’s had to take this. I only put it off because this past month I’ve had to call 911 on my dad three times and he’s had mini strokes and was hospitalized for kidney failure .

 

 

today’s the last day to drop a class too so I can’t just drop the lecture hall since if I miss anymore I think I’m gonna get dropped anyway the phase 2 of the special education program starts in the fall so if this wasn’t the end for drop dates I guess I could just drop the lecture, get my refund and use the cash to take it again in the spring .

 

I'm sick, and I'm getting punished for it.

 

I missed the first class because that day I had to take my dad to the ER (and broke down in a panic attack because until they stablized him he was basically dying) gonna miss the second one because of the appointment I already have... and I'm going to be late/miss another one because of the MoGEA because skipping my appointment wedsday is not a option.

[Omega Entity]

We have to take this dumb  test called the MoGEA (teacher ACT) and there’s 3 dates for it, all either on wedsday,thursday,or tuesday from 8 am to 1 pm. My lecture hall class (which I can’t miss any more of without getting dropped) is on tuesdays and thursdays from 12:30 to 1:45 not to mention I do student teaching at a special needs class room from 9:00 am to 11:30 am so I’ll miss that entirely.

 

 

The wedsday one is at the exact same time as the meeting I have with a social worker about applying for disability so I can’t do it .  My generation of students is the very first that’s had to take this.  I only put it off because this past month I’ve had to call 911 on my dad three times and he’s had mini strokes and was hospitalized for kidney failure .

 

 

today’s the last  day to drop a class too so I can’t just drop the lecture hall since if I miss anymore I think I’m gonna get dropped anyway  the phase 2 of the special education program starts in the fall so if this wasn’t the end for drop dates I guess I could just drop the lecture, get my refund and use the cash to take it again in the spring .

 

I'm sick, and I'm getting punished for it.

 

I missed the first class because that day I had to take my dad to the ER (and broke down in a panic attack because until they stablized him he was basically dying) gonna miss the second one because of the appointment I already have... and I'm going to be late/miss another one because of the MoGEA because skipping my appointment wedsday is not a option.

You might try and speak to the administration about being able to make things up due to extenuating circumstances. Get documentation for your life stuff (doctor statements for your father, etc.). They may or may not work with you, but it's worth a shot.

Edited September 29, 2015 by Omega Entity

[Obscure_Trash]

Toxic_remedy - you really need to talk with a professional about what you're going through. That's incredibly tough and the best way to be helped through the situation is to get some help. <3

 

Kiti - have you talked to your instructors about what's going on, especially with your dad? Most schools should have an option where the dean or someone sends out absences and explanations to your teachers about things like that so that they can work with you on a schedule that works for you so you can still get through the class.

[Kiti]

SockPuppet Strangler-Omega Entity

 

dad's asleep right now. We're going to look at this again tomorrow . I cancelled student teaching since I'm having a bad flare up and caught my mom's chest cold as it is right now so I have some time in the morning. They know about my dad's ER visit, and I gave another teacher a doctor's note (though since I had the "I just got blood drawn" bandages on my arms I doubt I really needed to) So they know I'm not the healthiest person.

 

I really should probably make an app with the disability center at the university I go to.

 

but not right now. I'm so out of spoons I can't even get the cap off my water bottle (It's 11 pm there's no one left awake to ask to do it for me)

Edited September 29, 2015 by Kiti

[Obscure_Trash]

Oh, yeah, def register with the disability center when you've got the energy and time to do so!

 

Hope your cold clears up! Good luck juggling your health, your dad's, and school. That is a rough ride.

[josephein]

Warning abuse trigger (for those ppl out there, I know a lot of books that never use this trigger warn but beware)

I've been having night mare recently

Or day mares...

 

But they get bad and they come from my past. You see I don't want to seem like some show heart broken kid because I'm not. But my mom use to abuse my family (mostly my father and sister) sense I was younger and I hate my self for it, I shouldn't feel hurt, they were the one beaten, I use to crawl under my bed at 230 in the morning while shouting at my sister that she would kill her. I know my mum had so my mental problems the doc didn't know about.(my mum is doing better I guess but, it doesn't stop the panic attacks)

But I made my self so mad, I was always her "little angel" her favourite child

 

AND I hate it!!!

I mean don't I deserve what happened to them, Haley my older sis would be thrown into a wall or shoved into a colest if she so much as woke me up at night, and now I'm crying but I don't deserve to cry.

Maybe this is alcoming up because my mom finally turned on my 8 months ago, she almost broke my arm, my toe, and gave me a black eye (I had to shave a side of my head so people at school won't take notice to the chunk of hair she pulled out, but that's not the worst part

 

For 10 years my sister had to deal with the same thing that happened to me and no more then 3 days in school and the teachers found out, I was no longer aloud to see my mum and I mean why did no one help her? Why do they care so much about me, Haley was hurt so much worst then me I deserved what happened!

 

SHE DIDNT

And even though there's that little voice in my head that says I'm full of shizz, I can't help but ignore it

Oh dear sorry n too bad for you, but I think your mom should learn to align her mind so it doesn't succumb on worse and worse anxiety or panic attack

 

suggest your mom mental exercise here's the tip :

1. Meditate

2. Know the Feelings Are Not Facts

3. Challenge Negative Core Beliefs

4. Stop catastrophizing

5. Breath and question

and so on.. read complete version here 11 Simple Mental Exercise that Will Reduce Your Anxiety and Panic

calminghealth(dot)com/mental-exercise-reduce-anxiety-panic-1

 

Hope it helps your mom

[sparkle10184]

Oh dear sorry n too bad for you, but I think your mom should learn to align her mind so it doesn't succumb on worse and worse anxiety or panic attack

 

suggest your mom mental exercise here's the tip :

1. Meditate

2. Know the Feelings Are Not Facts

3. Challenge Negative Core Beliefs

4. Stop catastrophizing

5. Breath and question

and so on.. read complete version here 11 Simple Mental Exercise that Will Reduce Your Anxiety and Panic

calminghealth(dot)com/mental-exercise-reduce-anxiety-panic-1

 

Hope it helps your mom

I don't think breathing and meditating is going to help someone who beats children.

Edited September 29, 2015 by sparkle10184

[NoraNora]

My mother simply thinks my father is weird, but she kept pausing when I brought it up at she might not want to think about it.

 

Day 7287483758: Still haven't fit in, the girl that claimed people hated her lied since I've seen her with god knows how many friends..and she avoids me just because I didn't want to sit outside....I still have barely any friends, and it's clear because nobody talks to me..

 

While the friend my brother had and introduced me to is still a wonderful friend, we hardly talk now and she seems to just brush me off when we see each other after school in the hallway..and i don't mean like a meet up I mean like the stop and chat. Maybe I should stop trying to do any social...im better off alone like I was fine past 4 years. Annnd Depression's back. Greaatt...

[TehUltimateMage]

I can't speak for your family troubles, Nora, and I'm sorry to hear. You dad troubles are way worse than my dad troubles, but I agree that if it makes you feel uncomfortable something should be done.

 

School troubles is a little more in my league. The thing is that most of the time, people wait for the other person to make the first move -- and when both people are either too shy or assume the other person will contact them, then more than likely they don't end up talking to each other at all (like during the summer! I thought you told me we were going to hang out!). What I'm saying is that your friend who you interpreted as "brushing you off" might not actually be doing so -- she's just waiting for you to say something.

 

You can't avoid being social forever. Avoidance is the worst way to cope with it, because the problem just snowballs.

 

Oh, and also! I would love it if you posted some of your art online (or on DC) so we can see it! <3

[NoraNora]

I can't speak for your family troubles, Nora, and I'm sorry to hear. You dad troubles are way worse than my dad troubles, but I agree that if it makes you feel uncomfortable something should be done.

 

School troubles is a little more in my league. The thing is that most of the time, people wait for the other person to make the first move -- and when both people are either too shy or assume the other person will contact them, then more than likely they don't end up talking to each other at all (like during the summer! I thought you told me we were going to hang out!). What I'm saying is that your friend who you interpreted as "brushing you off" might not actually be doing so -- she's just waiting for you to say something.

 

You can't avoid being social forever. Avoidance is the worst way to cope with it, because the problem just snowballs.

 

Oh, and also! I would love it if you posted some of your art online (or on DC) so we can see it! <3

Not sure if art was directed towards me so..

 

I avoided it for four years, I bet I can keep doing it despite being in an environment like this. I do try to start up with her but, conversations never go anywhere, and if they did, her friends suddenly show up and steer the conversation away, so its like I never existed.

 

And of course my torment just isn't ending, because either I have a crush or I'm just way too anxious. This is just small but, a boy that was a great friend of mine from god knows how long ago has been here, and I cannot bring myself to so much as wave. He was literally the only guy that accepted me as a friend so..maybe I do have a first crush.

 

I just need a pillow that takes me to another world for a while...like there's so much here...ehhhh..

[TehUltimateMage]

Yeah, the art comment was directed to you. My dad used to throw away my art all the time and said it was a waste of effort (so much that I've done it in secret for about 6 years), and it was reassuring to know that there existed people who didn't think my drawings were absolute poop. So I want to see yours! (I'll type up a proper reply when I get home after school. But, have you talked to your brother about your friend? Mentioning that you want to hang out with her or something, and see if he can set something up?)