Emotional Support

[trystan]

4 hours ago, Edenello said:

I need a hug.

{{hugs}}

hopefully, the bloodwork will be found  

[Edenello]

Thank you all. Apparently they will draw my blood before the surgery if they can't find it, so I'll still be having surgery Wednesday morning. I feel a lot better knowing that I've done everything else in my power to make sure this happens.

[trystan]

21 minutes ago, Edenello said:

I feel a lot better knowing that I've done everything else in my power to make sure this happens.

you can do it!

and it's a good feeling to know that it's all good to go.

{{hugs}}

[psibomber]

Stumbled upon this thread just now and am in the process of reading and wow. Everyone has complicated lives, and I feel for you and give you some internet hugs. Know that for many problems, there might be a solution, or at least, tackling your problems and trying may make you feel better. Talking it out with your friends and family and neighbors and even random strangers who are around you. For those of you who have money problems, try writing to your creditors, check out the hardship options for the bill companies you pay, write your situation. While you're responsible for paying, sometimes life comes up and they know they can't get blood out of stone. Whatever adversity life throws at you, tackle it, and if you feel you can't tackle it alone, get the help of people around you, and if you have no one, imagine I'm there for you.

[AbrelBeta]

WARNING: disease & depression

 

It has been some time since I left school due to illness, but in reality, I haven't been able to feel any improvement. I started taking antidepressants and worked hard to get myself moving, going for walks and sunbathing, and playing with my lovely cats. However, what makes me feel hopeless is that I am unable to salvage my physical condition.

It feels like I'm stuck in a swamp, my body has been overdrawn, I can no longer muster energy, and I don't have the motivation to do everything I once loved. I still love them, but my body cannot move, my soul remains optimistic and passionate, active, but my body is slowly dying, almost rotting on the bed.

I am starting to lose my memory and the ability to concentrate. I frequently experience hallucinations, so much so that when I recall my past, it becomes so unreal and uncertain. Even sometimes, I forget my name, forget my age, forget that I am still alive, forget that I am still awake. I only occasionally wake up and suddenly realize that I am not in a dream, feeling an unprecedented clarity of mind, and then unconsciously fall back into the swamp.

I never thought depression would become so scary, but perhaps the good news is: I won't die easily, I hope I can survive, I hope I can recover my health. Even if I can't see hope and watch myself rot, I hope one day I can recover. I miss the time when I was still healthy.:(

[AngelsSin]

9 hours ago, AbrelBeta said:

 

 

I am sorry for what you are going through.  It is hard when you have health issues that aren't easily resolvable. Your physical health can affect your mental/emotional health and vise versa. 

 

I have always had some health issues. When i was young it was severe menstrual symptoms which included severe pain and migraines. I also had unrelated migraines. As i got older they became more often. I also lived in a very toxic family situation and after my bff died when i was 11 i started becoming depressed. I was depressed for a very long time.

For me anti-depressants caused bad reactions for me both physical and emotional. They caused mood swings and i would physically get ill from them. So while i am glad you are getting help that way please be aware that sometimes anti-depressants can cause depression to get worse. If what you are taking isn't helping , making it worse or just not fully helping with how your feeling please talk to your doctor about those issues.

 

Eventually i beat my depression on my own. And some of what you are doing is the right thing but i think i can add some suggestions that might have a better impact. I found when i was depressed i would wallow in my misery. I would dwell on all the bad stuff and it would cycle around and around in my head. Which was a huge part of the problem. Staying active and doing things is the best thing for you. However, you are choosing activities that give you plenty of time to dwell in your head. You need to choose activities that take you out of your head, that don't let you focus on everything that is wrong in your world. Read a book, watch a movie, anything that doesn't give you a chance to dwell. 

Also you need to be proactive about when you do find yourself focusing in on the bad stuff. Notice when you are doing it. Tell yourself that it isn't good for you to do that and find a distraction. Do that every time. At first it will be hard but the more you do it the easier it will get.

 

I can't speak to the hallucinations and things. But in the 20's my migraines became too much for me to handle they were coming everyday all day. I was sure i had a tumor or something. I thought no one could survive this much pain in their head constantly. I was lucky it wasn't a tumor and i did get it resolved.  Unfortunately not too long after that i was injured on the job. That left me with bad sciatica pain. It has gotten better but it has never fully gone away. It also seems to have triggered both arthritis and CFS (chronic fatigue syndrome) as well. Which at the time no one really knew a thing about it. 

I don't know what your health issues are but some of the symptoms are the same as it. I have a limited energy supply. I experience brain fog. Which leaves me having trouble focusing on things and forgetting things for awhile i was even having trouble talking because i kept forgetting basic words. Talk about frustrating. I have always been an avid reading/speed reader but i would get stuck on the same words because my brain refused to process the words. I am doing better now. But my energy levels still suck and those issues surface again not as bad as they were but still not great. When they get to bad i eat a good steak i find that helps raise my energy levels. It certainly makes it hard to do everything i want to if i don't have any energy. I have to know my limits now and if i find myself starting to feel those symptoms to ease up. I can't do as much as i want to now and pushing it only makes it worse.

But it has been a long time since i have been what i consider normal. I have accepted that i have a new normal which i find helps. I know that dwelling on my health issues i can't change though is not in my best interest.

Despite my issues i have managed to maintain a positive attitude. I think if i hadn't beaten my depression earlier in my life i would be struggling with it all. The lessons i learned beating my depression have been my saving grace through it all. Not to dwell/catch and stop yourself from dwelling, find a distraction, and focus on the positive things happening in your life no matter how small or insignificant they might seem. Like enjoying a good book, watching an entertaining movie or tv show, enjoying a favorite piece of candy. Having a good time with family or friends - furry babies included. Appreciate the good in your life. Have hope and never give up. It might be raining today but it might be sunny tomorrow. Though i always appreciated the rain more than the sun😅

Edited April 9 by AngelsSin

[AbrelBeta]

4小时前，AngelsSin说：

 

I am sorry for what you are going through.  It is hard when you have health issues that aren't easily resolvable. Your physical health can affect your mental/emotional health and vise versa. 

 

I have always had some health issues. When i was young it was severe menstrual symptoms which included severe pain and migraines. I also had unrelated migraines. As i got older they became more often. I also lived in a very toxic family situation and after my bff died when i was 11 i started becoming depressed. I was depressed for a very long time.

For me anti-depressants caused bad reactions for me both physical and emotional. They caused mood swings and i would physically get ill from them. So while i am glad you are getting help that way please be aware that sometimes anti-depressants can cause depression to get worse. If what you are taking isn't helping , making it worse or just not fully helping with how your feeling please talk to your doctor about those issues.

 

Eventually i beat my depression on my own. And some of what you are doing is the right thing but i think i can add some suggestions that might have a better impact. I found when i was depressed i would wallow in my misery. I would dwell on all the bad stuff and it would cycle around and around in my head. Which was a huge part of the problem. Staying active and doing things is the best thing for you. However, you are choosing activities that give you plenty of time to dwell in your head. You need to choose activities that take you out of your head, that don't let you focus on everything that is wrong in your world. Read a book, watch a movie, anything that doesn't give you a chance to dwell. 

Also you need to be proactive about when you do find yourself focusing in on the bad stuff. Notice when you are doing it. Tell yourself that it isn't good for you to do that and find a distraction. Do that every time. At first it will be hard but the more you do it the easier it will get.

 

I can't speak to the hallucinations and things. But in the 20's my migraines became too much for me to handle they were coming everyday all day. I was sure i had a tumor or something. I thought no one could survive this much pain in their head constantly. I was lucky it wasn't a tumor and i did get it resolved.  Unfortunately not too long after that i was injured on the job. That left me with bad sciatica pain. It has gotten better but it has never fully gone away. It also seems to have triggered both arthritis and CFS (chronic fatigue syndrome) as well. Which at the time no one really knew a thing about it. 

I don't know what your health issues are but some of the symptoms are the same as it. I have a limited energy supply. I experience brain fog. Which leaves me having trouble focusing on things and forgetting things for awhile i was even having trouble talking because i kept forgetting basic words. Talk about frustrating. I have always been an avid reading/speed reader but i would get stuck on the same words because my brain refused to process the words. I am doing better now. But my energy levels still suck and those issues surface again not as bad as they were but still not great. When they get to bad i eat a good steak i find that helps raise my energy levels. It certainly makes it hard to do everything i want to if i don't have any energy. I have to know my limits now and if i find myself starting to feel those symptoms to ease up. I can't do as much as i want to now and pushing it only makes it worse.

But it has been a long time since i have been what i consider normal. I have accepted that i have a new normal which i find helps. I know that dwelling on my health issues i can't change though is not in my best interest.

Despite my issues i have managed to maintain a positive attitude. I think if i hadn't beaten my depression earlier in my life i would be struggling with it all. The lessons i learned beating my depression have been my saving grace through it all. Not to dwell/catch and stop yourself from dwelling, find a distraction, and focus on the positive things happening in your life no matter how small or insignificant they might seem. Like enjoying a good book, watching an entertaining movie or tv show, enjoying a favorite piece of candy. Having a good time with family or friends - furry babies included. Appreciate the good in your life. Have hope and never give up. It might be raining today but it might be sunny tomorrow. Though i always appreciated the rain more than the sun😅

Thank you very much for your reply and give you a hug ( ˊ•̥▵•)੭₎₎

I'm glad you can recover from your negative state and stay optimistic. You are great!

I may not be very good at speaking, because many times I always forget what I just said, or I cannot notice that the sentence components I write or say are incomplete. Please forgive me. orz (And I use a translator for communication, so sometimes it looks a bit strange?)

When I am tired, I am enthusiastic about chatting with friends, playing small games such as mine sweeping and Sudoku, reading my favorite novels, and even creating. These can all help me temporarily relieve myself from the painful state, but sometimes I have to face it again and force myself to complete tasks when I am exhausted.

In fact, looking at the five or six years of my torment, since I almost got killed by a nightmare in my sleep and felt so close to death for the first time, I have been unexpectedly more optimistic than ever before and grateful for the fact that I am still alive. This should have been a good thing, but just because I am optimistic, my current guardian has criticized all of my illnesses as laziness.

When I try to save myself from pain, they criticize me, deny me, and even destroy my hard work, or use violent means to force me to complete what they want me to do. I tried to say that I couldn't do it because I was already exhausted and I was really working hard, but to no avail. If I cannot produce results, I am lazy and have no room for explanation.

This leads to me being instantly filled with fear and anxiety as long as I stop and stop doing what I am trying to relieve myself. The fact is, I can't even do some of the simplest things in life. It's not that I don't want to, it's that I can't move. My soul and body are separated, so much so that my infinite anxiety begins to tear me apart from within. This is painful and ultimately leads to difficulty breathing, vomiting, and convulsions. But these physiological symptoms are not considered as symptoms of illness, they still consider me lazy.

 

Perhaps I need to change my environment and escape this harmful atmosphere, and then I will feel better. I hope so, but when I return to school, I will once again face communication difficulties and campus bullying caused by physical and mental issues.

Without medical assistance, there is no way to report to the police, and there is no time to gradually alleviate the situation. I hope I can hold on.