Emotional Support

[DragonSpirit009]

I'm just in a really really bad state of mind at the moment.

 

I can't go into what it's about on here.

 

I need a hug like I never have before, and that's what I'm here for I guess.

 

Although what I need in real life is for someone to just hold me and tell me it's okay.

If you really need someone then I'm just a call away Chico!

You're a friend of mine and I will try and do my best to help out!

[Starscream]

things just won't go right. someone picked all my tomeatoes, rmoved my peas, zuccini and other stuff.

 

tooooo09k my stuff. i ma so upset.

 

[TehUltimateMage]

Thanks, Sock. It was a spur-of-the-moment post.

 

I really struggle with communication [...]

 

 

I find that in my experience, you often overestimate how annoying you are to other people. Maybe there might have been one or two people asking you to "tone it down", but the majority of people I talk to don't seem to mind the enthusiasm. The best way to get the hang of talking is to keep doing it. Some people have a harder time reading social signals, but it's a skill that can be learned.

[RecycledHeart]

I'm the same way glamour.

 

I didn't learn basic social skills as a child and I'm fighting for it now. As such we tend to be hypersensitive to how we are to others. But from what I know of you, you're a really sweet person. Maybe a couple people thought you were too enthusiastic or too quiet but that's just who you are. You don't need negativity like that in your life. If someone tells you that you're annoying when you talk then just cut them out of your life. Bye Felicia.

 

As for being open, I myself find it easier to be more open with strangers instead of friends because I don't care as much about how they'll perceive and judge me. I think it's the same way with you.

 

And if you don't feel comfortable talking in certain situations then all the power to you. It's basically your right to not speak if you don't want to. No one should force you to talk when you don't want to.

[Starscream]

So in regards to my garden:

 

My yellow beans were ripped up and composted. I can't find them now because they are burried under more. (I presume because they were yellow and looked "bad")

My Carrots were taken. All of the big ones. I was picking a few here and there. Not all at once.

My Beets were taken. All of the Big ones - I got two out of that lot. I was picking a few here and there. Not all at once

My Cherry tomatoes, grown on long vines were taken. All of the ripe ones. I got a couple vines

My zucchini was taken - thrown in the compost

my Peas I was drying was taken: thrown in the compost. (they are out in the garden attempting to dry but its pissing.

My potatoes were ripped up.

 

Basically my entire expected and well looked forward harvest was taken. It was defiantly not a rabbit, because rabbits would not put the bean poles or tent pegs into the shed. Since I saw the co-ordinator this morning and showed her the stuff inside, she realises it was another gardener - of their visitors at least. I explained my Weekend is Monday and Tuesday. I was there thursday. I was picking my produce a few at a time.

 

I am glad I got my onions the other week, they'd be all gone if I hadn't

Being unemployed this was food security. someone took that away from me. I am so heart broken

Edited August 20, 2015 by Starscream

[Hellen]

So in regards to my garden:

 

My yellow beans were ripped up and composted. I can't find them now because they are burried under more. (I presume because they were yellow and looked "bad")

My Carrots were taken. All of the big ones. I was picking a few here and there. Not all at once.

My Beets were taken. All of the Big ones - I got two out of that lot. I was picking a few here and there. Not all at once

My Cherry tomatoes, grown on long vines were taken. All of the ripe ones. I got a couple vines

My zucchini was taken - thrown in the compost

my Peas I was drying was taken: thrown in the compost. (they are out in the garden attempting to dry but its pissing.

My potatoes were ripped up.

 

Basically my entire expected and well looked forward harvest was taken. It was defiantly not a rabbit, because rabbits would not put the bean poles or tent pegs into the shed. Since I saw the co-ordinator this morning and showed her the stuff inside, she realises it was another gardener - of their visitors at least. I explained my Weekend is Monday and Tuesday. I was there thursday. I was picking my produce a few at a time.

 

I am glad I got my onions the other week, they'd be all gone if I hadn't

Being unemployed this was food security. someone took that away from me. I am so heart broken

I would write a BIG FAT THANK YOU note to the idiot who did that.

 

"Thank you for stealing and composting produce from an unemployed family. I hope you feel good eating what would have been the source of vegetables for half a year for me and my husband."

Edited August 20, 2015 by Hellen

[RecycledHeart]

I'm so sorry star. It really rubs me the wrong way when selfish ****ers think that they're entitled to everything they could possibly want. Is it possible to put a camera up to see whoever did it? And star when you do find out who did it, I personally would do the same to them. An eye for an eye.

 

 

That was your hard earned harvest that some dipshit decided to ruin. Honestly a locked, barb wire fence might be a good choice.

[Starscream]

I am being told it was an error by the church plot next to me who thought they were working on their patch. I still feel they owe me. I am disinclined to forgive even a church in this matter. It WAS my food security and my place of sanctuary.

 

[Eclipseheart]

I am being told it was an error by the church plot next to me who thought they were working on their patch. I still feel they owe me. I am disinclined to forgive even a church in this matter. It WAS my food security and my place of sanctuary.

I completely agree.. Error or not, what's done is done and it should be made up for. This is a little more important than just them being able to shrug it off with an "oops sorry," especially since it was a security measure.

 

I'm really sorry Starscream. I hope you get this mess sorted out.

[Shienvien]

I am being told it was an error by the church plot next to me who thought they were working on their patch. I still feel they owe me. I am disinclined to forgive even a church in this matter. It WAS my food security and my place of sanctuary.

They should definitely at least compensate you for your losses. It doesn't matter whether it was "an accident" as they literally trashed your property and source of income. In this instance, a "sorry" isn't going to cut it - they'd have to take responsibility for their error if they are decent people. Both morally and by the law, they're still in the wrong here.

[Starscream]

was not source of income, but so urce of food security - but I guess in an essence similar. I don't have income coming in so I did what I could by growing my own food.

[dragongrrl]

was not source of income, but so urce of food security - but I guess in an essence similar. I don't have income coming in so I did what I could by growing my own food.

If they are an honorable church, they should make good on what they took from you. It would really be pathetic if they destroy your trust in the place you call sanctuary, as well as the loss of your food. Mistakes happen, but wherever possible, they should be corrected, and this needs correcting.

[Starscream]

Have they offered to make things right by paying for what they destroyed and/or stole?

I will see what happens in regards to restitution. I have to work through the plot co-ordinator.

 

Point is, I am extremely down, I have no where "nice" to be right now and I was really wanting to do some gardening. I have nothing to work toward anymore. Even if i get restitution, the joy is lost to me now. No satisfaction anymore.

Edited August 20, 2015 by Starscream

[Shienvien]

was not source of income, but so urce of food security - but I guess in an essence similar. I don't have income coming in so I did what I could by growing my own food.

I wondered whether to specify what I meant by income, but in the end left it out. I more meant it in the sense of there not being distinct final-outcome difference between doing work, receiving money, and getting food and skipping the "receiving money" bit by the aforementioned work being that done in growing your own food.

[Starscream]

the satisfaction in my efforts to harvest and finally eating my product gave me extreme joy, pride, satisfaction. Yeah that is income enough to me. Its gone now. No joy. I just want to curl up and hibernate. I am fed up of constant failures, and stuff just not going right. This one has been a tremendous blow to my morale, due to the fact it was a method of me dealing with stress, through working hard to make something out of literal dirt. I am really in a emotional state I have no idea how to handle. Its a mix of apathy, and extreme violent rage. dispair and fury. In the end, I will attempt to deal with it by avoiding my more violent tendancies and try to curl up and ignore the world. I am so tired of trying hard to get nowhere.

[Stellaluna22]

My dog stole a piece of my bacon just now

 

Bacon has a lot of salt...I hope she's going to be alright..I did scold her, because she usually never goes up and steals directly from my plate!

 

I had turned around to get some water when she hurried forward and stole it

[dragongrrl]

the satisfaction in my efforts to harvest and finally eating my product gave me extreme joy, pride, satisfaction. Yeah that is income enough to me. Its gone now. No joy. I just want to curl up and hibernate. I am fed up of constant failures, and stuff just not going right. This one has been a tremendous blow to my morale, due to the fact it was a method of me dealing with stress, through working hard to make something out of literal dirt. I am really in a emotional state I have no idea how to handle. Its a mix of apathy, and extreme violent rage. dispair and fury. In the end, I will attempt to deal with it by avoiding my more violent tendancies and try to curl up and ignore the world. I am so tired of trying hard to get nowhere.

I wish there were a way you could come and take over my garden patch. I am not doing it justice, but I am just too tired/stressed to deal with it right now. There is celery and coriander that have both gone to seed which I would use, and I can't even get out to collect it right now.

 

That church really owes you something on this. Maybe there's a doorway to a good job in all of this. I guess I always try to find the pony that creates the manure pile.

[NoraNora]

Yechh...this is a weird post..I don't mean to offend anyone by how I word things but if it does somehow offend you I apologize in advance!

 

 

 

 

After the gay rights thing, with the rainbow profiles and such, it makes me wonder about myself..or rather, my sexuality. I'm only 16, I don't even know if I should be thinking about this but, my friend(from a way-back-when post about feeling uncomfortable blahblah), she's lesbian...and my new friend is bi..and following the other friend, those friends already figured their orientations out but..I have zero clue what I could be. It's not like I'm desperate for an answer or I'm searching the internet to describe myself but, I'm just curious...

[georgexu94]

@NoraNora: Well, just be yourself. You'll know some day. It takes time sometimes to figure out one's talents. The same goes in finding out your orientation. It actually took me two decades not knowing what my talent is. And as a result, I was kind of sad that I don't have things to do that I can be proud about.

 

Just give it time then.

[TehUltimateMage]

Yechh...this is a weird post.. [...]

Sexual orientation isn't something that will come right away. You still have quite a few years to figure yourself out, and even if you figure you're straight, that's okay! Your friends being LGBTQA shouldn't affect who you you are. I didn't really figure anything out until 18, and even now I'm still a huge ball of confusion (like "dang that's a cute boy but according to my orientation I'm not supposed to find you attractive but can i touch your face"). My BFF in university keeps flipping between different things because she hasn't found anything that feels "right". People can be really certain throughout high school, and then suddenly experiment and decide they prefer something different. Orientation is not a choice, most people agree, but sometimes you need some experiences under your belt before you say "Yes. This is me."

 

Reading stuff on the internet is good and all, but don't let those things influence you too much. Labels are good to describe your feelings, but they're not a replacement for what you genuinely feel. And, who you are really starts to show when you really get to know someone else -- I'm not talking just about relationships, but those friendships so close you might as well get married. ;p

 

I'm not telling you to find a relationship -- heck, I've never been in one -- but sometimes you have to have a few fall-outs before you get a definite answer. So just wait and see.

[Paintra]

I didn't really figure anything out until 18, and even now I'm still a huge ball of confusion (like "dang that's a cute boy but according to my orientation I'm not supposed to find you attractive but can i touch your face").

On this- What you're feeling is normal!

 

Something that bothers me that a lot of people tell me is that I lose the ability to determine if a boy is attractive or not because I like girls. This is not true in the slightest. I can still determine if a boy's appearance could be considered "cute" or "attractive" and appreciate it. I'm not blind because I'm gay. Jokes aside, this is called Aesthetic attraction, and yes, it's a real thing. There are different types of attraction- Aesthetic, Sensual, Romantic, and Sexual. I believe there were more than that, but I can't remember them at this time. Anyways, Aesthetic attraction is a very different thing than romantic and sexual attraction. It's not like an Asexual person can't tell whether or not a person is pretty. They totally can! However, even though they think they're pretty, this doesn't mean they have any sort of attraction to it. It's like someone looking out of the window of an airplane, and commenting on how pretty the clouds are- only to have a person shove their face in and say "Then why don't you MARRY it?"

 

That example's a bit exaggerated, but that's honestly how it feels at times.

 

Tl;dr: You can still determine whether any person of any gender is attractive in appearance, but still not feel any romantic/sexual attraction to them.

 

(I hope I interpreted what you were saying correctly, I mess up sometimes >.<)

[jewel21]

I debated posting here since I discovered this thread yesterday but I just need to vent.

 

Life has been problematic for awhile now, but this past month has just been terrible.

 

My grandfather who I live with is having heart problems. He's 87 and we just found out he has two blocked arteries and needs surgery which should be taking place in the next week or so...

 

My brother who lives in the downstairs apartment is being kicked out. He has mental and drug issues, has had three mental breakdowns involving lengthy hospital stays, and there was an incident a few weeks back with a crazy upstairs tenant who tried to beat my brother with a hammer because he thought my brother was molesting his son. He wasn't. He has a lot of issues but he's never been a pedophile. But cops were called, I got caught in the middle, my sick grandfather had to physically get between my brother and the tenant and it was a mess. Gramps has decided that he needs less stress and wants my brother gone, although he is willing to pay his rent for the next couple of years.

 

And two days after, I was fired from my job. I've never been fired before. It has me reeling. I used to work in a bookstore for 10 years but they closed down and the company decided not to transfer anyone with more than 5 years experience. That was last October. It was hard, depressing, but I managed to find another job. A job that was supposed to last.A job that on paper was supposed to be perfect.

 

I got a job at an animal hospital treating birds and exotic animals. I was working reception and in boarding. It was supposed to be perfect. Instead it turned out to be hell.

 

I loved the customers, I loved the animals, I loved my manager. But some of the staff were just rude and mean. One receptionist was supposed to train me and wouldn't. For a week and a half we sat side by side for 8 hours while she said nothing to me. At one point, she even moved all the pens on her side, the stapler, the boarding cards. It was ridiculous.

 

 

After three months, I had my first eval. I thought it was going to go fine. My manager was constantly saying how great I was with the customers, how I was warm, empathetic, etc. She was surprised by the feedback she received from the staff. So was I. They blamed me for everything including stuff that wasn't even my fault.

 

I said "um" too much, I wasn't reading the birds body language correctly and they would sometimes bite me. I let a client walk out with two bags of food and didn't charge the credit card on file like a note said to do. In actuality, the note wasn't clear but as soon as the other receptionist came back from break I asked if she had already charged the card on file and when she said she hadn't, we charged the card.

 

Apparently, one time, a client was upset because her rat had just been euthanized and I didn't charge her right away. I had just come back from break, the waiting room was full and I didn't know who she was or what had happened...

 

I needed to learn to multitask, to have more initiative, to read the website and learn more about all the different animals, etc.

 

I was told I had 18 days to improve and then there would be a second eval. 18 days turned into 4 months. Gramps got sick and I was worried about him passing away, being homeless, I asked my manager what was happening with my eval, I explained the situation at home. She sent out another email to the staff.

 

During all this time, my manager would continue thanking me for bringing stuff to her attention, told me boarding looked great, etc.

 

Two days after the police incident at home with my brother, I got called in for my eval. They said there was no improvement. That in fact it was worse than the first eval. That the issues they had brought up in the first eval hadn't been resolved even though I had tried so hard to make it work.

 

My manager kept saying she didn't know what to tell me. That she had seen me trying but unfortunately the staff didn't like my work style, etc. That maybe if it had been a bigger team, etc. I was let go.

 

It's going to be three weeks on Wednesday. I'm still so upset. I haven't even started looking for another job yet. I don't want to. I just want to lie in bed and read and sleep.

 

Part of me is even considering leaving the province, going somewhere English were I can hopefully find a better job (I live in Montreal and French has always been an issue for me.) But then part of me thinks I should try Quantum, a recruitment agency here first and see if they can place me. But I'm so sick of Montreal. I'm sick of life.

 

The bookstore laid me off, this place fired me, nothing is going right. I tried so hard to make it work and my best wasn't good enough. It's discouraging, disheartening, embarrassing.

 

Anyway, thanks for letting me vent.

 

[Obscure_Trash]

Oh my gosh, jewel21. I'm so sorry you're going through all that. That's a lot to just pile up on you. <3

 

*offers hug*

 

 

I hope things get better for you soon! I saw this the other day and hope that you can benefit from it:

 

An arrow can be shot only by pulling it backward. So when life is dragging you back with difficulties, it means that it’s going to launch you into something great.

So just take a deep breath and keep aiming.

 

 

[jewel21]

Thank you so much for the hug and kind words. It really does mean a lot. And I love the arrow and saying

[Twyro]

Oh my gosh, jewel21. I'm so sorry you're going through all that. That's a lot to just pile up on you. <3

 

*offers hug*

 

 

I hope things get better for you soon! I saw this the other day and hope that you can benefit from it:

 

An arrow can be shot only by pulling it backward. So when life is dragging you back with difficulties, it means that it’s going to launch you into something great.

So just take a deep breath and keep aiming.

I'm also really sorry about the whole ordeal, jewel, and I hope it's all gonna get better from there. As long as you have faith and hold on to a little hope everything will be fine.

 

Anyway, Sock, that arrow is my future tattoo plan.