Description comments

[Orlageddon]

When she was a hatchling, Doll lived in a human city as the favourite pet of a wealthy merchant's daughter. While most dragons would despise a life between four walls, she loved her keeper and the constant attention that life among humans brought her. Whenever the little girl was upset, Doll was there to comfort her, and the two seemed inseparable. However, this dream wasn't meant to last forever. As the hatchling grew bigger than the family could handle, they decided to set her free, believing that it was for her own good.

Dejected and feeling betrayed, Doll now wanders the outskirts of the city, planning revenge on the girl who pretended to be her friend and then threw her away. One can distinguish her from an ordinary Daydream by one thing, except for her ragged appearance and dulled colours; her cloud, previously pink, has now turned black like the ones before a storm.

 

Accept: the cloud is white in the picture, maybe you should leave that sentence away

 

Now I'm not sure. I've had dragons with slight discolorations approved, even asked in the guidelines thread, but overthinking about it now, this one might be a bit too much. Anyone?

I dunno. I kinda like that line as it's a not-so-obvious reference to the song she's based on. (anyone get the reference btw /obnoxious)

 

Anyone else wishing we could reply to description comments? I feel kinda weird doing it via this thread all the time. :B

Edited March 16, 2013 by Orlageddon

[Chaos Rider]

A pending description for a Cheese Dragon

 

There was a White Dragon called Cheeth who was the mate of another White Dragon, Uldorth. She met her untimely death in a thunderstorm. Bereft, Uldorth asked her mistress to revive his fallen mate without success. Being unable to bring her back himself; he found an egg-shaped cheese in his mistress's pantry. Using every ounce of his magic, he poured his memories of her, all her memories of him, her sense of self even, into the 'egg' hoping to create something to replace his fallen mate. Although successful the resulting 'dragon' was incapable of breeding although Uldorth has been known to insist that it did happen but no eggs were produced.

 

Accept: Awwww cute...a Cheese memorial to a lost dragon. Was Cheeth a zombie fail?

 

I only started playing DC 12 days before last Christmas so I haven't been able to experiment with making Zombies yet. There never was a White Dragon called Cheeth and I'm not going to raise one just to kill for the description

[dracopenguin]

 

Accept: Awwww cute...a Cheese memorial to a lost dragon. Was Cheeth a zombie fail?

 

I only started playing DC 12 days before last Christmas so I haven't been able to experiment with making Zombies yet. There never was a White Dragon called Cheeth and I'm not going to raise one just to kill for the description

That was me who left that comment! Finally, one of my comments appears on this thread! Anyway, I was just wondering whether there was an actual dragon called Cheeth. It's still a cute description.

 

I comment on loads of descriptions, but don't seem to get many back. Here's one I got the other day:

Epic Gold Rarity was the first really rare dragon in her Cave. She is very proud of her perfect stair-step lineage - she is descended from Gold Epica - and is looking for a male, caveborn Vine Dragon for a mate to continue her lineage. In the meantime she hangs out with other dragons who have Gold Tinsels in their lineage, like Sungold ZaN, and has recently bore an egg with Rufus Sunset Illumina because he also has a 6-generation Gold Tinsel stairstep lineage. She also likes sitting near the mouth of the cave, looking like a beautiful statue and pretending that the Guardian Dragons are her personal bodyguards.

•Accept:

•Accept:

•Accept: Nice. ~D

•Accept:

 

*looks at ~D* Yay, thanks Dimar!

[Walker]

Caballo Marino hatched near the ocean. She always loved to swim and play in the waves; however, for some odd reason she came to the conclusion she must be a seahorse. As time went on, she spent more and more time underwater chasing and interacting with her favorite sea creatures. Now she calls herself the Mother of Seahorses and leaves daily gifts by the ocean side for her marine children. Needless to say, everyone thinks she is crazy.

 

Accept: I want your baby I didn't even know this spriter's alt existed and the description fits the colours perfectly - fawns for a while over this beauty-

 

I pretty much died laughing when I read that first sentence. It's both creepy and highly amusing.

 

But mostly creepy.

 

HERE, LET ME HAVE YOUR BABY.

[Herk]

 

 

I pretty much died laughing when I read that first sentence. It's both creepy and highly amusing.

 

But mostly creepy.

 

HERE, LET ME HAVE YOUR BABY.

That was me *giggle* I was talking about a baby of your dragon

 

'Besides I want to have your baby' is a funny exaggerated way to say OMGTHAT'SSOAWESOMEAAARGH*

 

And if I made you laugh I achieved my mission

 

@ Orlageddon - The Orlageddon comment was me - I hadn'r realized you had a different scroll name and it was actually your dragon

Edited March 17, 2013 by herk

[Orlageddon]

Noticing a trend:

Accept: Interesting... Shame there's no transgender op for dragons ;-) Poor White dragon.~ Draco

Accept: Poor poor Heaven! *sniff*

Accept: Awww, poor Adrian... reminds me of Slenderman. ~ Draco

 

Maybe I should write a happy dragon once in a while D:

 

Also, why Slenderman?

Essentially a mute by dragon standards, Adrian has never spoken in concrete words, only managing to get unclear images and emotions across. With the way his mind works, not necessarily inferior but different, it is as though the mere concept of words confuses him. Often stranded in the sea of dragons who don't understand him, Adrian will retreat into his small garden for days on end. He prefers the silent company of his precious flowers, rather than pointlessly attempting to fit in.

[Dimar]

Also, why Slenderman?

I guess they connected the mute/telepathy thing with Slender. I can't say I see any other similarities though.

 

*mental image of Slenderman standing happily in a garden*

[dracopenguin]

Also, why Slenderman?

Because Slenderman is forever alone, and misunderstood.

[dragongrrl]

I just added another Vamp description, and almost immediately got a note on it:

 

Bloodsucking Mess was an extremely messy eater when he arrived at the crypt-weyr of Hellish Katrina Undead, appalling her personal sense of decorum. She assign a series of her minions to the task of teaching him proper Vampire dining manners, but he seemed to be getting worse, despite each teacher's best efforts.  Finally, Katrina tried teaching him directly.  After a long and trying session, her pupil smeared with blood, guts, and drool, she became so enraged that she blasted him with the Minimus spell, stopping his growth, and hopefully, limiting his obnoxious appetite.

 

Mess doesn't mind, because now they leave him to eat his meals in peace.

 

User Comments

 

Accept: Nice description. You use double-spaces and I don't know if the formatting issue with those has been cleared

 

In response, it does look like the formatting issue has been resolved, because I don't see any of the indicators in what was saved. Double-spacing is an OLD habit for me, and I often have to take them out because my descriptions sometimes run right up to the length limit. Once in a while, I don't catch them and this was obviously one of those. lol

 

ETA: I just caught my own mistake and changed "assign" to "assigned." I'm happy with it now.

 

Edited again: Thank you, Herk! I will let you know!

Edited March 21, 2013 by dragongrrl

[Herk]

That was me - please let me/us know how it turns out on the page once it gets approved - it would be really good to know for future reviewing

 

Also:

Thomeg doesn't care much for all the struggles going on between the different factions on the academy, or rather he doesn't care much for the reasons behind them. Thomeg doesn't care for 'good' or 'evil' or 'balance', he does care about his own position in the hierarchy, because he cares about his own comforts and amenities, other than that he very much prefers to keep his own independence.

He is a very sensual dragon and achieves ecstasy through the casting of his own spells, claiming that given in to one's own cravings and needs only amplifies one's personal power.

 

Got: Accept: Oh so advanced!

 

^^

[Mathcat]

Friday afternoon/evening is the time to get comments, apparently, as I just submitted this less than ten minutes ago.

 

Thorbu is a master of lightning magic. Called "God of Thunder" by some, he can conjure lightning bolts that are the envy of most gray dragons. Luckily, Thorbu is an honorable dragon, and those he smites always deserve it. He still regrets that his adopted younger brother, Firnug, has strayed (as he sees it) from the path of good, and keeps trying to redeem him.

 

Accept:

Accept: Lol reminds me of Thor and Loki :3

 

It's not my most subtle reference, I admit. He's named after his code, and, well, I read too much fan fiction. Loki was next in line

[Dirtytabs]

The Eyes of March doesn't know what her name means, but supposedly it's about eyes in March. It sounds especially cool when people say to beware the Eyes of March. It's as if they know how terrifying she is without even meeting her.

 

Reject: This doesn't actually describe any dragon personality, interests etc. It's just about her name. Maybe try describing herself a bit more!

 

 

D'oh. The description's supposed to suggest that she's not very bright. I think writing any more will take away the focus or something.

[TCA]

Kyouko is a lighthearted, carefree dragon. She loves to imitate sounds, and will often hide in the mountains near her home and pretend to be an echo. Of course, if she is searched out after echoing someone from far away, she will gladly play with them. She met her mate, Uboa, when returning from cheerfully echoing someone. He popped out of an adjacent dimension as soon as she entered, and instead of panicking as many others might, she greeted him cheerfully. The two are quite close, and are one of the most loving couples among those dragons recorded by their mutual scrollkeeper. She doesn't even mind his occasional flings with other females on the scrollkeeper's request, because she knows he'll always come back to her twice as eager to cuddle.

Accept: What an adorable little dragon~

 

 

Yes she is <333

[dragongrrl]

Reject: This doesn't actually describe any dragon personality, interests etc. It's just about her name. Maybe try describing herself a bit more!

 

 

D'oh. The description's supposed to suggest that she's not very bright. I think writing any more will take away the focus or something.

I understand that she is not too bright, rather self-absorbed with poor hearing, and sees herself as some kind of dangerous threat, all some the little bit you wrote. Maybe your reviewer was distracted by rl when they read your description.

[Dirtytabs]

I understand that she is not too bright, rather self-absorbed with poor hearing, and sees herself as some kind of dangerous threat, all some the little bit you wrote.  Maybe your reviewer was distracted by rl when they read your description.

Ah, okay. That one's the only comment, so far, so I'll wait for a few more to see.

 

Fred Colon patrols the deep sea for wrongdoers. He doesn't find much trouble because not many large creatures live down there, and if they do, they really aren't doing much that can be considered "wrong". To many dragons, he appears to be stupid, fat, and lazy, but he is a competent guard, knowledgeable about not only the ocean but land-based areas as well, a good fellow to talk to, and alive. Being alive is important.

Accept: OMG OMG DISCWORLD! I have 'Sergeant Colon' myself ;-) ~ Draco

 

Made my day.

[Chaos Rider]

A pending description for a frozen inbred Nebula hatchling - IB Keleb who plays in freezers

 

Keleb got his name from playing in the ice caves that his mistress uses as freezers and as such prefers his meat frozen to fresh. The habit of hanging out in them was to be his downfall as he accidentally froze himself one day while playing in one.

 

 

Abstain: That would explain why he is frozen...

Accept: This is hilarious!

 

I'm not to sure about the reasoning behind the abstain is the description says more than how he got frozen. His preference for frozen meat to fresh for example. Still better than a reject so I can't complain.

[Orlageddon]

Oh look, Schizo Doll got another comment... wait what?

 

When she was a hatchling, Doll lived in a human city as the favourite pet of a wealthy merchant's daughter. While most dragons would despise a life between four walls, she loved her keeper and the constant attention that life among humans brought her. Whenever the little girl was upset, Doll was there to comfort her, and the two seemed inseparable. However, this dream wasn't meant to last forever. As the hatchling grew bigger than the family could handle, they decided to set her free, believing that it was for her own good.

Dejected and feeling betrayed, Doll now wanders the outskirts of the city, planning revenge on the girl who pretended to be her friend and then threw her away. One can distinguish her from an ordinary Daydream by one thing, except for her ragged appearance and dulled colours; her cloud, previously pink, has now turned black like the ones before a storm.

Reject: try to lighten it up a bit

[RainDear]

I have a number of descriptions in the queue right now, and every day I check to see what comments they have received. I sometimes wonder what you have to do to actually get some of these people to comment. But I have one today:

 

This description:

Raindear was wakened by the tickling sensation of whispery, giggling thoughts from her Arsani Dragons-Pink Peep and Heart Song. "I hope she likes it." "I don't think she's awake yet." Raindear tried to school her thoughts. Once she found that a bowl of beautifully colored (raw) eggs meant to be a gift had been by some move of tail or wing knocked to the floor and broken. Another time her bed was strewn with masses of flowers, some with dirt and roots still attached. At times like these any frustrated or negative thoughts often resulted in the Arsanii trying to make amends with even more "interesting" results. They are very, very dear, but things don't always turn out the way they plan.

 

Got:

Accept: This made my day!

 

Well commenter, we are even, this made my day!

[karofsky]

I had a fair few accepts on one of my dragons, The Masochism Tango, but someone pointed out it was missing a few commas, so I had to edit it and lost them DX

 

Tango has a seemingly sick sense of humour, constantly chuckling at some of the strangest things. She enjoys black comedy, often seeking out humans who can spin tales of solemn events. Sadly, dragons are less than welcome in the human villages, though she has come to know which humans that venture out aren't a threat to her. She listens to their stories, often hearing of plays that humans entertain one another with. Stories of violence and misery that she can't help but find amusing due to the bleak nature of the strange creatures. She likes to take life less than seriously, believing it's better to take each day as they come. The humans' worry over what they can't control is simply amusing to her. In return for their bleak tales, she'll catch them fish and bring them gifts for amusing her with their worries. When the humans' leave, she'll 'dance' in the sky, retelling their stories for the dragons to hear, even if they don't quiet understand the humour in it.

 

After editing again, I got this not long later;

 

Accept: I believe the "quiet" in the last sentence should be "quite". Otherwise, perfect!

 

After going through it with a fine tooth comb, I still managed to miss that. Still very happy with this comment~ Thank you, Commenter! ^^

 

EDIT:

Since hatching, Zor'roc was under the care of a cruel human. This human had brainwashed the hatchling, teaching her to fight and kill under his command in a hunt for power. Though her species of dragon aren't built for fighting, her upbringing has taught her how to use her tact to take others' lives at any cost. Eventually, her human passed away with old age, leaving a tainted dragon without reason to exist.

Feared and hated by the surrounding packs for her brutal nature, Zor'roc isolated herself away from civilization wanting nothing more than to simply pass on and rejoin her master in the afterlife. However, she was found by the son of her past master, another being who knew the curse that came with the connection to the deceased man. They now travel together, Zor'roc obediently following the boy under the belief that the old man's possessions should be passed to the eldest son.

Zor'roc means 'misery' in her old master's native tongue.

 

Accept:

Abstain: Good, but Maybe don't add the last sentence, Zor'roc means 'misery' in her old master's native tongue

 

... why? :|

Zor'roc is based after a sword in The Inheritance Cycle with the same name. The swords are given names in the ancient language which describes their true nature. Zor'roc meant 'misery' because of the suffering his past master inflicted with it and, later, the misery the son suffered due to his past connections.

The names of the swords are the biggest factor of the sword itself. I would have put more on his name, only there is a character limit.

Even if the name didn't mean that much, why should I have to drop it?

Edited March 29, 2013 by karofsky

[TCA]

Miko is a polite and intelligent dragon. He was named after a character in a story, a prince that may have actually been a girl according to some sources. Like his namesake, Miko is very helpful, and can listen to ten people (or dragons) telling him their problems at once and then reply to each one with a solution. He is very distrustful of intelligent beings that are not dragons or humans, despite the fact that a large number of his scrollmates have friends among them or even keep them as 'pets'.

Accept: So are you possibly a girl, Mister Shimmer-scale?

Accept:

Accept:

Ahahaha. I only put that in there because I named him after a female Touhou character based off a legendary prince, but that comment. Heehee.

[dracopenguin]

Accidentally Inbred Black Pearl is, as his name suggests, a result of mistaken identity. In a very embarrassing incident - one which is a forbidden subject in the Black Pearl community - this unfortunate pygmy's father, Teal Winged Black Pearl, mistook his niece Black Pearl From Dark Swamps for his predestined mate, Teeny Black Pearl. Accidentally Inbred is what hatched from the resulting illegitimate egg. He is somewhat weak and deformed due to his inbreeding, and spends most of the time in the care of the White dragons, particularly White Mage dragon. He also plays with Noir Avrill and Noir Kamill, two fellow Dark Myst pygmies who are not of the Black Pearl lineage and therefore do not totally deny his existence... for even Accidentally Inbred's parents are ashamed to admit that this wayward pygmy ever came about, and most of his family usually ignore him.

Got:

•Accept: Makes me think of: "What are *you doing?" - "No, what *are* you doing?"

•Accept:

•Accept:

•Accept: Pretty sure dragons don't think of mating the same way we do.

•Reject:

•Accept:

I didn't get the reference in the first comment, still made me laugh though

As for the second one, since the pygmies are part of a lineage project - and the rules forbid inbreeding - I could imagine them viewing him like an 'illegitimate' son. Also, why the random reject? The description is a true story btw, I mis-clicked when breeding!

[brairtrainer]

Zor'roc is based after a sword in The Inheritance Cycle with the same name. The swords are given names in the ancient language which describes their true nature. Zor'roc meant 'misery' because of the suffering his past master inflicted with it and, later, the misery the son suffered due to his past connections.

The names of the swords are the biggest factor of the sword itself. I would have put more on his name, only there is a character limit.

Even if the name didn't mean that much, why should I have to drop it?

I beleive the word used in the inheritence cycle was Zar'roc, although that name was probally taken wasn't it?

[karofsky]

I beleive the word used in the inheritence cycle was Zar'roc, although that name was probally taken wasn't it?

Ahh, you're right. I haven't read the book since the last one came out and when I looked up 'zor'roc' it still showed me images of the sword. Thank you for pointing it out~ I've fixed it now.

 

To keep on topic:

 

Gornaza is a natural born terror; strength and power far beyond his size. At least, in his mind he is. In reality, he's harmless and simply annoying. Gornaza believes he is far bigger and badder than he actually is. His aggression and competitiveness comes from the fact he has grown in a male dominant Pygmy pack. With the male to female ratio so out of wack, Gornaza is protective over his mate, Arozen. He'll take on any male who nears their nest without second thought, no matter what size they are. The other dragons tend to just ignore him, brushing him off much like a persistent fly. With his size, there's not much he can do to them.

Though he's aggressive to the males in his pack, he's highly awkward around females. He finds their presence alarming, especially if they strike back when he goes after their mates. He tends to turn tail and run when they get too close. If he does get a few 'battle' scars, he'll wear them with pride and show them off to his mate like a trophy.

 

Accept: Good one

 

<3 Thank you, accepter~

[Rally Vincent]

I didn't get the reference in the first comment, still made me laugh though 

That's from

. The connection is the Black Pearl. Funny enough, I have a pair of Vampire hatchlings named similar. Edited March 30, 2013 by Rally Vincent

[Awdz]

For a tri-horn, I put up the following:

  This dragon is not the brightest of his species, but he tries his best. Once a tremendous blizzard slammed the mountain where he lives. He decided that the storm was caused by ice elementals in the sky that had to be fought off, so he tried to fly up after them.

  ThreeHornstotheWind did not get very far against the massive headwind driving the storm. He was battered by hail and sleet but struggled to go further.

At the end of the storm, ThreeHornstotheWind was less than twenty meters from where he started. However, his wings had blocked the worst of the storm from his family, so he felt his efforts had been worthwhile in catching the elementals' attention and distracting them from the weaker prey below him.

  His family does not care whether it was elementals or just bad weather; they are just grateful he made the storm easier for them to survive.

 

Got this in response:

Reject: This doesn't seem to 'describe' your dragon. It seems more like a story which would be better suited as a 'fan fic' rather then a description itself.

 

Sorry but I think this does describe something about my dragon. I've had stories like this approved before. Am I off my gourd?