Posted March 7, 2013 You guys are lucky. I barely get one comment on my descriptions! Rosarie Twilight Thuwed: One cold winter morning the dragons of the Caves of Twilight were hushed as a strange figure made his way into the cave. They did not know who he was, but sensed that he was very important. They watched as he placed an egg in the nesting area and then silently walked off. They were mildly confused, but when the Prophet of Twilight found the egg later on, they were elated to see the happiness it brought her. The egg was carefully looked after, and even after it hatched the Prophet worried over the attention the young hatchling might arouse. When the young one came of age, the Prophet happily bestowed upon her the name Rosarie Twilight Thuwed. Though sunset dragons are active after the sun has begun to set, Rosarie enjoys the sight of the sun on the horizon so much that she will only fall asleep to the light of the rising sun. The Prophet theorizes that Rosarie does this because she knows her mother was a sunrise dragon. Accept: Accept: Accept: Cute. Love the reference to TJ. Sovereign Protector: Sovereign Protector is the first grand Guardian of the Caves of Twilight, summoned by accident as a trio of dragons experimented with their powers. The Prophet of Twilight coddled and pampered the legendary dragon from the moment he hatched. Despite this, Sovereign never once let the attention go to his head. He values the life of his human protector as well as the lands she holds presence over. Though he is often never seen, all of the Prophet's dragons know that Sovereign will quickly come to their aid if anything puts their lives in danger. He would put his own life on the line if it meant protecting those he holds dear to his heart. Accept: Accept: Accept: Accept: awesome Accept: Lovely Young Caver: When this dragon is not sleeping, she excitedly runs through the Caves of Twilight looking for 'nappy snacks' as she calls them. Few dragons rival her unending happiness and enthusiasm, and few find themselves annoyed by her good cheer. Even at a young age, Caver was happy. She burst from her egg with a huge smile on her tiny face and raced around the nursery, baffling Doting Hopeful and Lovely Miracle, two dragons who tend the hatchlings and eggs. She even named herself. When she finally learned to speak, she boldly announced, "My name is Caver!" Accept: Accept: Accept: That's adorable! Accept: Accept: I'm surprised I have this many, and I only have one per each dragon! *swims through sea of blank accepts* Share this post Link to post
Posted March 7, 2013 Rosarie Twilight Thuwed: Accept: Accept: Accept: Cute. Love the reference to TJ. Happy to provide you with at least one! Share this post Link to post
Posted March 7, 2013 Canine Foe has always had an irrational fear of dogs. As a hatchling, he would bare his teeth and hiss whenever one walked by. As time passed, his problem only grew worse. He would spend days in his hollow, muttering to himself about "those darned dogs", growing gradually more depressed and strained due to his desire to preen conflicting with his phobia. All of the Healers saw him, but none had an answer. To this day, he rarely emerges, living in sadness, half-crazed, that none can see his beauty due to his "terrible foes" running amok. User Comments Accept: Accept: Accept: Very good! I feel sorry for him. ~D His code is K9Foe. Lookie here! Share this post Link to post
Posted March 7, 2013 Happy to provide you with at least one! Thanks Lagie! Share this post Link to post
Posted March 7, 2013 Never seen but always present, Norduil hides in the darkest corners creeping as close to other dragons as he can get, mind trained for any secrets they might reveal. Many dislike him, for his loyalties are often crossed and he will soon as betray as help. Despite this, thanks to years of this elusive eavesdropping, he has learned quite a lot and can tell you anything you might want to know. For a price of course. His knowledge, while vast and often invaluable, is never gained easily and most desperate enough to go to him seeking answers give up more than they receive in return. Be warned, however: he does delight in causing mischief and may not tell all of the truth, twist it unrecognizably, or flat out lie just to see panic arise among his customers. Comments: Accept: Accept: Abstain: It's great, but some grammar/rewording edits would help. HawkTalon, I'd be happy to give you in-depth suggestions if you PM me- . (I'm confused. I've read it over several times and can't find anything wrong with it. Help?) Oh, and this comment on Velidrya made me laugh: Accept: ROFL that is fantastic. ~D Share this post Link to post
Posted March 7, 2013 (edited) Your description is good and well thought out, but I see just a few things that may work better like this: Never seen but always present, Norduil hides in the darkest corners creeping as close to other dragons as he can get, with his mind trained for any secrets they might reveal. Many dislike him, for his loyalties are often crossed and he will betray you as soon as help. Thanks* to years of this elusive eavesdropping, he has learned quite a lot and can tell you anything you might want to know- for a price, of course. His knowledge, while vast and often invaluable, is never gained easily. Most desperate enough to go to him seeking answers give up more than they receive in return. Be warned, however: he does delight in causing mischief. He may not tell all of the truth, twist it unrecognizably, or flat out lie just to see panic arise among his customers. * I took out "despite this", because it didn't seem to be necessary. I also broke apart the last sentence, but that's just personal preference. The first sentence still seems a tad long too, but that one's hard to separate. It isn't necessary. I think those little edits help it flow better, but I may be wrong. Edited March 7, 2013 by Dimar Share this post Link to post
Posted March 8, 2013 I prefer the original 'mind trained' part. 'He may not tell all of the truth' is a bit odd as not also seems to apply to 'twist it unrecognizably'. I would have probably accepted it without suggesting changes at all. Share this post Link to post
Posted March 8, 2013 I prefer the original 'mind trained' part. 'He may not tell all of the truth' is a bit odd as not also seems to apply to 'twist it unrecognizably'. I would have probably accepted it without suggesting changes at all. That works too, there's no denying it's a good description. *shrugs* Sometimes I'm weird with my writing. Share this post Link to post
Posted March 8, 2013 Thank you both. I love to use complex sentences in my writing, so sometimes it gets worded awkwardly. And thanks, Dimar! Share this post Link to post
Posted March 8, 2013 Oh, the Squiggly D is you, Dimar! Selachophobic has an intense fear of sharks. He thinks of them as rough-skinned evil monsters just waiting to rip his head off, even those small enough to sit on a finger. It took nearly a decade to convince him that forests are completely devoid of sharks. Accept: *insert Jaws music here* Accept: But it only took him one second to realize deserts are free of sharks :3 I mean, where could they live? In the oil pools? I wish the description comments would stay once a description gets onto the dragon's scroll. Growing up, this dragon wanted to have a name, to set him apart from the many, many other mints. Being unnamed themselves, his parents decided to consult some humans about getting "a nice human name". The people agreed that the little mint looked like a "Benjamin". His parents, unfortunately, never thought of learning the humans' language and couldn't spell the word, but they knew there was a "j" somewhere in there, and it probably ended with "man" because hu"man". Benejman doesn't mind though, because Mom and Dad were willing to put in so much effort to come up with a moniker for him. He spends his days hunting small rodents, watching the sky and the creatures that fly in it, and thinking of interesting proverbs. Accept: I liked reading this. A comment! Mission complete. Share this post Link to post
Posted March 8, 2013 Weird. When I quoted it, the Jaws music bit didn't appear. (That was me!) I've taken screenshots of a few of my comments, so they don't get lost forever! Share this post Link to post
Posted March 9, 2013 Described a two dragons after taking a description break. Might do some more later today while I wait to unlock. Borderline Schizophrenic is a tragic dragon. She is the beloved of Loki god of Mischief, who torments her with "harmless little pranks" in order to watch her reactions. She has been enduring his mistreatment since she was a hatchling, and he told her to take soup to a blind dragon who thought tender hatchling meat was a much more tasty option to cabbage soup. She does not actually suffer from mental illness, but received her moniker after a White dragon saw her conversing with herself. In fact, she was talking to Loki, who had just a moment prior turned invisible. The other dragons in her clan have attempted a trepanning and a lobotomy twice, and she escaped each time thanks to a Fog dragon shrouding her in mist. User Comments: Reject: Accept: Reject: Accept: Great character development! Accept: Thank you, sole commenter on my description. Stingy is a descendent of a famous fairytale dragon who was featured in countless stories for his avarice. For centuries his horde was protected by his children and grandchildren and so on, until a pink dragon married into the family and began giving it all away. His miserly in-laws quickly put the kibosh on his philanthropy and ordered him to retrieve every last trinket and gold coin or face the consequences. Sadly, no one knows what happened to him, as he hasn't been heard of since. Stingy, as the sole surviving heiress, now has a meager 300,000 tons of treasure left as her inheritance. And so impoverished, she leads a miserable existence attempting to persuade other dragons to pay for any meals she cannot hunt down for free. User Comments Accept: Accept: Thanks for not being phantom rejecters. Share this post Link to post
Posted March 9, 2013 Oorlim is a noisy, forceful songmage - not the usual descriptors for that specialty. His telepathic singing is loud and off-key, and yet he still manages to get most of his spells to work. As the archetypal example of how not to perform song magic, he gets a considerable amount of attention from other magis who want to discover the secret of his success. Accept: Ahh good old Fonic Hymns. :3 Good job. He wasn't meant to be a reference to anything, actually. Share this post Link to post
Posted March 9, 2013 Fonic hymns would have been infinitely awesome though o3o I didn't write that comment but that's still a spiffy description. Share this post Link to post
Posted March 10, 2013 I have this description in the queue: On quiet, sunny days, Vespa likes to relax and watch the clouds move across the sky, making up stories about the things she sees in the clouds. The unicorns, giants, castles, all live in her imagination. She has a reputation in the cave for being one of the hardest training of the warriors. No one knows of her innocent pastime. I got this comment: Abstain: SEcond to last sentence is off - she either IS the TRAINER or she SUPERVISES the TRAINING, but she isn't the training Description itself is lovely I wish there was a way to tell them that she is a warrior who is training hard. Others I have asked about it understood what I was saying. Share this post Link to post
Posted March 10, 2013 I have this description in the queue: I got this comment: I wish there was a way to tell them that she is a warrior who is training hard. Others I have asked about it understood what I was saying. Makes sense to me as well (goes off to approve). Share this post Link to post
Posted March 10, 2013 Cat Planet is a chicken and she flies like a chicken on a cat planet of cats that are on a planet. She's very energetic and has lots of energy just like a cat planet planet cat. Her dream is to one day go to the cat planet planet cat planet and live on the planet of the cats. Reject: Accept: Accept: Accept: 'cat planet planet cat planet'?! O.o Reject: Reject: Reject: I wish I could tell them that it's a reference to a fairly well-known LP and that yes, it DOES have to be phrased like that, and that technically 'cat planet planet cat planet' (a planet of cats inhabited by cats that live on a planet of cats) is a grammatically correct construction, if a stupid one. Share this post Link to post
Posted March 10, 2013 Makes sense to me as well (goes off to approve). Thank you rubyshoes. Imagine my surprise when I check my descriptions again to find that this: Scarlett Crest is a dismal dragon. He always sees the dark side of any situation, the cloud around any silver lining. Being around him tends to make other dragons feel depressed even in otherwise cheerful situations. Don't invite him to your party, but he is great at funerals. Got this: Abstain: The last sentence needs rephrasing ( second person isn't allowed) and I think it should be the dark cloud INSIDE the silver lining Otherwise nice OK, maybe "your" will have to be changed, but for my whole life I have always found "linings" on the inside of whatever they are lining. Aren't they? Share this post Link to post
Posted March 10, 2013 Rudy Wade is, to put it simply, insanely irritating. Somehow, he manages to make himself a nuisance to every dragon he crosses paths with. He has zero concept of personal space, constantly showing off to females, even when their mates are close-by. He's a slippy character, keeping himself out of claw's reach of annoyed males and temperamental females whilst staying close enough to taunt further. That being said, he's not always that quick to get away earning him his fair few blows in a one-sided battle. Still, no matter how many blows are dealt, he never manages to learn. He has managed to make himself a small collection of friends. Namely they stick around because it's fun to watch him worm his way into trouble. It's possible that they also sorta, kinda, like him deep down. Way deep down. Not enough to protect him from other dragons, though. Got me this: Accept: Please get him a girlfriend and at least two good friends..... Accept: First accept I couldn't help but find adorable. c: Share this post Link to post
Posted March 10, 2013 OK, maybe "your" will have to be changed, but for my whole life I have always found "linings" on the inside of whatever they are lining. Aren't they? That was me - I always thought 'lining' refered to the borders of the cloud English is not my native tongue, but the proverb only made sense to me that way - the silver appears as the sun reflects on the edgers of the dark cloud not its inside *Is very confused now* Share this post Link to post
Posted March 10, 2013 (edited) That was me - I always thought 'lining' refered to the borders of the cloud English is not my native tongue, but the proverb only made sense to me that way - the silver appears as the sun reflects on the edgers of the dark cloud not its inside *Is very confused now* And I always thought that "every dark cloud has a silver lining" meant that one had to look very closely (and be extremely hopeful) to find it, and that it was like the lining of a coat-on the inside. But, I can see merit to your way of understanding it, too. Maybe I should research the basis of the saying. Herk, you are correct-changed it. Learn something new every day. Edited March 10, 2013 by raindear Share this post Link to post
Posted March 10, 2013 "Steve Duckbill, or Steve for short, is a young Dino. Being the only Dino in his clan, he can sometimes feel a little confused about who he is, and if there are any other Dinos out there. Despite this, he is optimistic and friendly, and loves telling jokes and funny stories to the hatchlings. He loves to pull pranks on the other dragons with his best friend, Jack Cheddar, and the two especially like pranking Raven, who always overreacts and tries to attack them. He isn't exactly the brightest, but he makes up for what he lacks in brains with a lot of heart. He doesn't fear humans, and is quite a spectacle in Drakeville, as he is thought to be the only Dino left. He doesn't and probably will never have a mate, as he doesn't know any other Dinos." I got one comment that said, "Reject: ...did you steal this from mathcat?" I had no idea who Mathcat was! Share this post Link to post
Posted March 10, 2013 I got one comment that said, "Reject: ...did you steal this from mathcat?" I had no idea who Mathcat was! Then take it as a compliment. Mathcat is greatly regarded as the greatest Description Writer ever. Share this post Link to post
Posted March 10, 2013 Then take it as a compliment. Mathcat is greatly regarded as the greatest Description Writer ever. Oh, awesome! Share this post Link to post
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