Posted November 1, 2015 I've got so many mixed reviews on HIS description. I'm not sure if I should make all the suggested changes or keep it the way it is... When Rum was a young dragon he was victim to a dragon hunter's trap: a lure of sweet smelling human food and drink. While he escaped the dragon hunters he was forever poisoned with the taste for human food and drink. Being one of the most hunted types of dragons, Rum was in a bad way. He wanted human food, but getting it could be deadly. Lucky for him one day he found a newly wrecked ship on the coast and some of its cargo was still good. These days Rum lives on the coast waiting to raid shipwrecks for their cargo. He'll collect all that he can from the wrecks; including treasures of gold, jewels, silver etc. But his real treasure is the hauls of food and drink. Sadly many of times he finds that the rum is gone. User Comments •Accept: Can't spot the difference - still funny -H •Accept: "hunters, he", ha ha, nice. When he does find rum, does he sing "We're devils and black sheep, really bad eggs, Drink up, me 'earties, yo ho"...? -DT •Accept: Poor dragon, would send him a crate if I could! •Accept: *giggle* Poor Rum, finding that the rum's always gone... ~Kim •Abstain: Sadly, many times he finds (add punctuation, take out 'of') •Accept: •Accept: Hmm, this is a Pirate's of the Caribbean reference, right? I actually only saw this movie once a looooong time ago and don't really remember it. ~D •Accept: •Accept: •Accept: "the dragon hunters"->"the dragon hunter" (in the previous sentence, there was only one) ; "wrecks; including"->"wrecks, including" ; "many of times"->"most times". Love the reference! : •Accept: Very good! -Az •Accept: Share this post Link to post
Posted November 2, 2015 (edited) I've got so many mixed reviews on HIS description. I'm not sure if I should make all the suggested changes or keep it the way it is... You have a great story about Rum, but if you want a grammatically correct description, make those changes. Edited November 2, 2015 by dirtytabs Share this post Link to post
Posted November 2, 2015 (edited) Shadowhawk their owner, stood before the dragons assembled in the cave. "Greek Fire has betrayed us. She melted the twin metal beams supporting cave tunnel 9 which has been weakened by flooding. The tunnel collapsed entombing 11 dragons. We managed to rescue some of them, but Greek Fire still has the blood of innocent dragons on her head!" The assembled dragons turned to face Greek Fire who was under the watchful of the caves big brother Elemental fury. The assembly began to turn into an angry mob, quite a feat in the limited space the cave provided. Elemental fury backed away,mob justice was on the way! Crimson sorrow raised his voice to be heard over the enraged mob; "What do you have to say for yourself" The mob paused to hear her answer. At her shocking words,the mob turned to face their owner. ShadowHawk realizing he was busted, ripped off his jacket revealing kegs of gunpowder underneath the fuse already lit "Allahu Akbar!" he shouted. Her words; Greek Fire cant melt metal beams. No reviews yet He tried choking his owner to death with its vine after witnessing his cruel owner brutally smash an egg he had stubbed his toe on and setting fire to a pumpkin dragon to "create a living Jack O Lantern." However Vinechokers owner who stole dragon eggs from under their mothers nose on a daily basis simply cut off Vinechokers limbs one by one, before having Elemental Fury and the 3 other guardians torch Vinechoker. He then successfully used dark magic and potions to zombify Vinechoker as he laughed evilly and plotted to destroy humanity with a zombie army. One accept This is my chicken description Why did the chicken cross the road The dragons don't know either. They found Mrs.KFC near Bob the Retardis Dino. Bob seemed to like Mrs.KFC, so the dragons didn't eat her. "Sometimes, however, they get tempted, especially because the only thing she can say is "Col. Sanders". Don't say Kentucky around her, or you're fried. That chicken will just keep saying "Col. Sanders" again, and again, and again. Do the dragons a flavor, and don't lay it on too much because it ain't that punny. Accept: it pains me to approve such a pun-filled desc. but you haven't broken any rules so Accept: Question marks don't show up Accept: Reject: Reject: Real world references (Kentucky especially) = Bad. -MC1 Accept: Accept: Abstain: Question marks don't show up in descriptions, sorry. ~Storm Accept: This description made me chuckle quite a bit, haha. x) Accept: "?" after "cross the road." Remove quotes before "Sometimes." Spaces between Mrs. and KFC. Even as humor, the whole last sentance makes no sense. Otherwise, pretty funny. Accept: That epic name wins it all. But remove the " before Sometimes Um what are you doing near origami. You know darn well your breath can quite literally kill him. What do you mean you brushed your teeth. I'm talking about the flamethrower in your mouth! Besides you have the flu do you really think its a good idea to get near a magical piece of paper. No I'm not telling you to go over and apologize, I'm telling you to--- Jumpin' Jahosafat! DO YOU KNOW HOW LONG IT TOOK ME TO FOLD THAT! WHAT THE...WHAT DID YOU DO TO YOUR ROOM. YOUR ROOM LOOKS LIKE HELL. LITERALLY. ITS A SMOLDERING RUIN!(Loud crashes and gunshots)Gosh golly I knew that gray miracle powder was too good to be true. That gosh darn sniveling louse dumped gunpowder in you to keep you from jumping! I should of known he was trying to keep me from winning the bet instead of curing your flu. Sorry for yelling at you. Ill just have to get some more magical paper. Reject: It's funny, but you can only write in 3rd person and I have no idea how this can be formatted -DT Reject: Reject: Accept: Reject: Illuminati is white. White has five letters. Illuminati has four legs. Five plus four is nine. Illuminati has a streak of gold on his skin. Gold has four letters four legs and one wing. Nine eleven. Not only this but Illuminati also has two eyes and a tail. However you can only see one eye. A triangle has three sides. The Illuminati triangle has three sides and one eye. Therefore Illuminati is a member of the Illuminati! Accept: Some grammatical errors... done on purpose? This description has 424 characters. 4, 2, and 4 equals 10. 424 is an area code in California. "California" has 10 letters. ILLUMINATI STATUS CONFIRMED. -DT Accept: Reject: Whattttt? Accept: Accept: clever! Accept: Accept: that's amazing Accept: Excellent! - Az Accept: this is perfect Accept: What a surprise. Edited November 2, 2015 by ShadowHawk555 Share this post Link to post
Posted November 27, 2015 Room6 has six rooms in his weyr, and in each room, there are six sets of six objects of the same type. He has an odd fascination with the number six, but only when inside rooms. When he is outside, he is a fairly normal dragon who farms rhubarb, root vegetables, and perennial herbs. Once, he tried dating 50P4K, but her obsession with gathering collections of 50 conflicted with his liking of sets of six. Accept: Oh, his code! I was wondering if rooms of 6 described some mathematical concept... -DT Accept: I love when people name and write for their dragons based on their codes! This is a very creative description. ...Now, none of the other dragons I've described from their codes in the past got this reaction. Grudged Golden Grave is so called because this dragon exudes a feeling of anger, as if everyone in the world has slighted him. He is not violent, but almost every dragon who in his presence feels concerned that he will attack without provocation. Because of this, he is widely avoided, which only makes Grave more miffed. He lives and works in a graveyard, muddying his claws to carve out graves when a dragon dies. This happens unfortunately frequently because just south of his city are two human kingdoms that hold strong anti-draconic beliefs. On a few odd occasions, Grave has been known to hide among the headstones and pretend to be an old ghost, making sarcastic comments about how "Back in my day..." things were different; at various times he has been talked into saying silly things. Here are a few fun ones that made it into record-keeper Aeneatikoi's records: "Back in my day, eggs laid dragons!" "Back in my day, all pigs had wings!" "Back in my day, everything was back in my day!" Accept: Back in my day, it was called "front" instead of back. -DT ...If I had more room in the description, I'd add that one in, too. Share this post Link to post
Posted November 28, 2015 ...Now, none of the other dragons I've described from their codes in the past got this reaction. After reviewing many descriptions, I can't comb through their code or what they're referencing for each one. I'm not so patient. Room6 caught my eye because I thought the name and list of crops were peculiar and clicked his link. Share this post Link to post
Posted November 29, 2015 (edited) ...I can't comb through their code or what they're referencing for each one... In certain browsers (possibly most, I only use firefox), just hovering your mouse over the link will make it show up in the bottom corner of your window. Thanks for reminding me about the brainy specs and bowtie for Dr. Whom, by the way. I've edited that in to her description. It was actually perfect, I barely did anything to maintain the 1000 characters. Her description now reads: Dr. Whom lives in a small blue-painted weyr that always seems to have more than ample room on the inside - there have been occasions where over a dozen dragons somehow fit inside even though they could circle the outside of the building when standing nose to tail. When not using her unusual home to host events, Dr. Whom lives quietly with her mate, Wibbly Wobbley Viney Winey. She smelts the ore her mate brings up from deep underground into ingots to supply the blacksmiths of the city, and is good friends with Infacras and Psican. She tolerates Wiren, but has been heard advising the rosebud to get a more breed-appropriate job. Many dragons - and Space Chickens - enjoy Dr. Whom's dramatic retellings of the most outlandish of Psican's short stories, and some wyrmlings mistakenly believe that these tales really happened, despite their utter impossibility. When there are costume parties, Dr. Whom usually wears her favorite costume - a distinctive scarf, brainy specs, a bowtie and a red fez. ...I accidentally forgot to copy her comment before re-describing her, though. It basically said, "And brainy specs and a bowtie, right?" Which is now somewhat moot, because I added them. Edit: wow, I'm the last person to get a worthy comment? And it's one from DT again. Hippocampus (the left head) likes hippocampuses - creatures with the forequarters of a horse and the rear of a sea monster. On the other hand, Hippocampus (the right head) likes hippocampuses - structures in the brain named for their loose resemblance to seahorses. They used to fight a lot until they agreed to study the one thing they both liked: hippocampus hippocampuses. They live on a boat, sailing after pods of hippocampuses and interviewing others about hippocampuses and hippocampuses to further their research. Hippocampus is developing a spell that he calls 'tomography', which will allow the caster to see into the brain - and therefore hippocampus - of a living creature. Hippocampus, meanwhile, is working on a golem that can be remotely directed to swim with hippocampuses and carries a lens that allows the user to see what is in front of it from on the boat. Eventually, Hippocampus and Hippocampus hope to combine their projects in order to study hippocampus hippocampuses in situ. Accept; [...] Aaand... A hippo that goes to college is often found on a hippo-campus. I omitted the edit, because I fixed it - thanks for spotting it - and thanks for the awesome (and totally situation-appropriate) joke! Edited December 3, 2015 by Kakaru_of_DOOM Share this post Link to post
Posted December 18, 2015 My description for my Chrono Xenoworm Unbeknownst to Hornrim, the magical crystals within his cave are powered by a Rainbow Mana stone, which is locked away in a hidden room beneath the main part of the cave. The Rainbow Mana had been created by a powerful archmage eons ago, but since the effort involved ultimately left the archmage too weak to live for much longer, his reasons for doing so remain a mystery. Before he died, the archmage entrusted the group of Xenoworms he'd been raising to guard the Rainbow Mana stone and make sure no one ever discovered it existed. Chronoxeno, as one might expect, is a natural clairvoyant and often gets flashes of possible future events. Because of these visions, she saw the need to place the hidden room that held the Rainbow Mana stone in a pocket dimension that's a few seconds out of sync with the rest of the world. Because of this action, only a dragon with very strong magic can find the hidden room, which Chronoxeno believes will ensure the Rainbow Mana stone will remain safe. Accept: Accept: Abstain: What does Hornrim have to do with this? It's confusing having your dragon mentioned so late in the story. Accept: Accept: Accept: Accept: Reject: It is not immediately evident who Hornrim is. A slight revision to explain who this fellow is may be beneficial. -CNR I could be wrong, but don't other people post descriptions that reference other dragons on their scroll? Is it wrong that I'm not discussing Hornrim because he already has a description of his own? After all, the description feature on the site has a set limit on how long the description can be. Also, someone posted a comment on my Thalassa Xenoworm, which has a very similar description, that I might be trying to overpower my dragon. Am I? Because I don't get how having a group of dragons being charged with protecting a magical stone counts as overpowering them. Share this post Link to post
Posted December 18, 2015 (edited) I could be wrong, but don't other people post descriptions that reference other dragons on their scroll? Is it wrong that I'm not discussing Hornrim because he already has a description of his own? After all, the description feature on the site has a set limit on how long the description can be. Yes, but usually there're a few words early on describing the other dragon, like saying he's another protector or something. It doesn't have to be that detailed. Few people are going to look at Chronoxeno's description in the queue and think, "Hey, let me look up this Hornrim guy to see how he relates to this description that isn't about Hornrim". Edited December 18, 2015 by dirtytabs Share this post Link to post
Posted December 18, 2015 I could be wrong, but don't other people post descriptions that reference other dragons on their scroll? Is it wrong that I'm not discussing Hornrim because he already has a description of his own? After all, the description feature on the site has a set limit on how long the description can be. I think the confusion comes in because you start off talking about Hornrim. On one hand, I like it because it could be seen as a stylistic choice: Hornrim doesn't know about the Rainbow Mana stone and presumably doesn't know about Chronoxeno, so the spotlight is on him while you describe the past of his cave and one of the players behind its current state. On the other hand, I thought the description was about Hornrim on my first read through, so it was confusing until I got my head wrapped around it. It might seem less confusing for a reader if you were to lead off with "Chronoxeno, as one might expect, is a natural clairvoyant and often gets flashes of possible future events" and then integrate the information about the archmage creating the Rainbow Mana stone - perhaps by saying her clairvoyance made her the perfect candidate to help protect the archmage's most prized possession - and end with something about how the current occupant of the cave, Hornrim, has no idea what he's sharing his home with. I'm not saying it's necessary because I would have voted accept on the description as is, but restructuring might make it less confusing. Share this post Link to post
Posted December 26, 2015 (edited) On Coal in My Stocking: Coal has a tendency of doing the naughty thing whenever given a choice between naughty and nice. After helping a bloodscale find his cat, she kept the cat rather than return it. (The cat's not too happy about this!) After trying to deliver a love token, she lied about the answer to poor Romeo who now thinks his true love still loves him. Those three letters she was asked to deliver remain tucked under her mattress. Ned's reindeer never were located after the storm; Coal decided to go skate on the newly-formed pond instead. Naughty being the order of the day, Coal is never really surprised to find little in her Christmas stocking aside from the coal after which she is named. Maybe next year she'll manage to change her ways. Accept: Capitalize "bloodscale." Anyways, I love the Valkemarian Tales references. Fixed. Accept: Naughty little guy!You are so funny. Accept: Edited December 28, 2015 by Lagie Share this post Link to post
Posted December 26, 2015 My descriptions often reference other dragons/descriptions, but you have to do it in such a way as the dragon being described is still the main focus of the text to keep people from getting confused. For example, this is the first portion of one of my approved descriptions, on a Plated Colossis: "To Trump, quality is everything, and size equals quality. Trump describes himself as the largest dragon at the Breedery. He isn't, and deep down he knows it, but he dismisses the stone dragons as 'more like magical statues than dragons', and he doesn't even know about Faultslip's clan of deep-dwelling earth dragons." You don't have to have read Faultslip's description or even know who that is on my scroll for that except to make sense. Share this post Link to post
Posted December 27, 2015 My description for Black Spectra (just a short little one): Black Spectra has definitely proven to be a force difficult to deal with. He is sly and stealthy, but very capable of holding his own in any situation. Due to this, he receives a lot of respect from the other dragons in the cave, despite being quiet and reserved. Black Spectra spends a lot of his time alone, either practicing magic or soaring in the night air. Accept: Looks good. -KoD Accept: Accept: Accept: Accept: Love your description! Accept: practicing "magic"? Black dragons don't have magic, other than that, nice Accept: Accept: But Blacks do practice magic! They are strong and capable in battles of force, but also ample magic users, capable of devastating opponents with their spells. It wasn't a reject, but will that deter my description from being finally accepted? Share this post Link to post
Posted December 27, 2015 It wasn't a reject, but will that deter my description from being finally accepted? No, don't worry about it. Share this post Link to post
Posted December 27, 2015 No, don't worry about it. Whew, good to know. Thank you! Share this post Link to post
Posted January 1, 2016 Okay, another thing. This is description for another of my black dragons: Ataxia has proven to be the definition of her name on multiple occasions. She is haywire and energetic, constantly running about at the annoyance of the other dragons, and can sometimes be seen instigating the hatchlings and other young dragons into similar shenanigans. Despite this, the dragons of her cave cherish her, and even respect Ataxia's viewpoints in times of need. Ataxia has proven to be a leader, albeit a goofy one, and will come to the aid of any dragon in distress. And this is what I've gotten: Reject: Contains out of dragon type behaviors. Accept: Accept: Accept: She sounds very interesting! Accept: Can someone please tell me how this is "out of dragon behaviors"? I would just like to know so I can revise this description if need be. I've gone through and re-read the Black Dragon descriptions, both on their page and in the encyclopedia, which generally just lists that they are warriors, territorial, etc. I don't see why I there can't be a goofball warrior in my cave lol Share this post Link to post
Posted January 3, 2016 Okay, another thing. This is description for another of my black dragons: And this is what I've gotten: Reject: Contains out of dragon type behaviors. Accept: Accept: Accept: She sounds very interesting! Accept: Can someone please tell me how this is "out of dragon behaviors"? I would just like to know so I can revise this description if need be. I've gone through and re-read the Black Dragon descriptions, both on their page and in the encyclopedia, which generally just lists that they are warriors, territorial, etc. I don't see why I there can't be a goofball warrior in my cave lol It looks fine to me. Share this post Link to post
Posted January 3, 2016 It looks fine to me. Haha okay, thank you very much for your reply Share this post Link to post
Posted January 23, 2016 When this Albino dragoness was small, a strong blizzard hit the area where she and her cavemates were spending the winter. As some of the others sought warmer shelter, she was separated from her parents and lost in the blinding snow. Frightened and alone, she cried out for help, though the sound was lost in the storm. Trying to keep warm as best she could, the little hatchling curled up on the lee side of a snow pile, and just when she had begun to give up hope, she spotted a faint glow and felt a warm presence, then suddenly she was deposited at the front of the cave where her family was taking refuge. She didn't get a good look at her rescuer, but she fully believes that it was a Solstice dragoness, though at the time the breed had not yet made itself known. Furthering this belief, after the incident, her scales kept a snowy white sheen instead of a typical Albino's pallor, hence her name. User Comments •Accept: •Accept: •Accept: •Accept: That's AMAZING! I love it! -E •Accept: I looked in the Description Force thread first since it has a list of some of the people who sign off when reviewing, but who signs off as -E? c: Thanks so much, glad you liked it! ^-^ The inspiration for this one came from the Describe-a-Dragon thread. This little Magelight, small though he is, seems to have the appetite of a dragon many times his size. He's well known for sneaking into his owner's pantry and eating his fill, but an unfortunate incident has caused his owner to further beef up the "dragon-proofing" in her home. On one particular night, after his owner and many of the dragons had gone to bed, Fieryflash crawled in through his usual hole in the wall and set upon the first edible thing he found, which happened to be a container of preserved beans, flavored with sugar and other spices. Finding that he thoroughly enjoyed this new food, he rooted around her stores until he had found and consumed her entire supply. Now, most everyone knows the result of consuming a large amount of "the musical fruit", but combine that with having a flame on the end of one's tail and it should be no surprise that nearly all of his cavemates were awoken soon after by the cries of their owner discovering that part of her house was aflame. User Comments •Accept: Heh. Nicely done. •Accept: Very good! -CL And inspiration for this one came from this post in the Encyclopedia Update thread in News where the spriter of the Magelights said that they like to eat baked beans and... well... I'm glad people like it even if the humor is a bit "middle school". :3 Share this post Link to post
Posted January 24, 2016 This fellow's wholly-underwater grotto would be very difficult to locate if it weren't for an otherwise unremarkable stone outside the tunnel with lines of text etched in it: Shim shimney Shim, shimney Shim shim sher-ee Pretty-please be considerate Considerate to me ...It's probably text, anyway, and not just a bunch of squiggles that coincidentally follow language laws. Nobody can read the sign except him, apparently. He claims it's a poem about self-worth and judgment of virtue, a piece worth presenting to the world at his entrance-passageway. Accept: Shim, shim, sheroo! (Sorry this isn't constructive) Bajillion uses indefinite numbers a lot, especially for large amounts of something. His reasoning is that since no one can wrap their minds around anything bigger than a few thousand items, there's no point in speaking in not-made-up or exact numbers anyway. This is "proven" when he tells people he's nearly 24 million minutes old and then explains how many that is in years. At least Bajillion is polite enough to not bring up the subject unless prompted. When communicating casually, he says his forested region has a "ton" inhabitants and a "kazillion" trees and so on, and that works well enough for him. Accept: Looks good. Not sure that 24,000,000 minutes is the right time scale for a dragon, though. Perhaps twenty-four million billion? - I think the breed description means that while xenowyrms have existed as a species for a very long time, new ones can come into existence still. A 45-year-old is young by dragon standards but still an adult! Hyperreality is trained in various types of magic and has a talent for construction and gardening, but all he does with his abilities is lying to a select few. Actually, even people who don't approve of what he does would say that "lying" isn't quite the right term. He and a small number of dragons and humans live in an environment of his own devising that isn't "reality", so to speak, but it feels real to the folks there, and that is how they like it. Observers would say that the residents are living in a fantasy-land where there are no problems because Hyperreality ensures there aren't. It's a peaceful, colorful place where the twenty-or-so delusional denizens can each live their flawless (invented) persona without outsiders bothering them. Some dragons think that Hyperreality's work is wrong on some level, some think he is doing some good for the people who wish to live this way, and still others are just intrigued by the whole affair. Abstain: Last I checked, seasonal dragons were not aligned with mind-alterations. If you can tie his powers into his breed (perhaps it's allways autumn for his cult?), I would be much more confident in this. Erm... to be honest, I wanted to stick this description to a dragon (named Hyperreality), and while it's not appropriate for some nastier or nonmagical breeds, seasonal seemed "general" enough to fit because the breed description just talks about their appearance. I don't want to change the description for that reason (also out of space), and I hope that's okay. Glennetta is a mail carrier. Unlike some folks, she actually delivers all the mail and makes her best effort to keep them in good shape. It helps to be so aggressive on the job that few creatures would want to attack her. She claims she likes being a messenger to people, but that's not quite true. Glennetta became a maildragon so she could visit various humans' and some dragons' homes to see what they're made of and try to figure out how to integrate those styles and materials her own house. The house is an unusual-looking structure that started as a plain yellow glass dome but gradually became a large indescribable thing with many things. It's quite something. Glennetta's dear grey spouse doesn't seem to mind watching over it while she's gone, sometimes for weeks. Accept: Nice. Now I want to see a picture of Glennetta's abode. (YOu don't have to - I know art is hard.) - KoD Drawing the house I've described is probably pretty hard. Maybe I'll give it a try someday. Iron Star lives in a mountain cave and has a big bag of chicken heads. When he stands high above his surroundings with the sack of heads beside him, he feels like the king of the world, so he's declared himself the king of the world. Come Christmastime, he flies around the area, bequeathing healthful chicken heads to all the little people in the kingdom down below. King Iron Star does this every year and hopes they appreciate what he does. He wants his subjects to say, "Oh, the king of the world is flying above us. I wonder what he's going to distribute!" Reject: Erm... chicken heads...? Maybe try something else, like leaves. I don't know. But then it won't be absurd anymore. Reject: Contains out of dragon type behaviors and too many irrelevant details. Reject: Contains out of dragon type behaviors and lacks pertinent details. plus others I think you're being a little hard on them. I don't feel any of those are inappropriate for the breeds they're describing.\ Share this post Link to post
Posted February 15, 2016 Though many assume that, thanks to the belief that they are often omens of good fortune, all Sunsong Amphipteres are benevolently inclined, they have not yet met Miragewing. This dragon uses that reputation as a means to cause mischief. Residing in an arid portion of his owner's lands, he delights in leading weary travelers astray and sometimes even casting illusions of magnificent oases that only get farther and farther away. User Comments •Accept: Ha ha! Then he eats them! Right? Right? -DT •Accept: •Accept: •Accept: Thank you, Tabs, for a comment that made me laugh harder than I probably should've! As to your question, I can neither confirm nor deny those accusations. As a young Balloon hatchling just learning to float, Puffybreeze enjoyed testing this new skill. Early one morning, without one of the more experienced dragons supervising, she'd gone out and after a bit was able to go the highest she'd ever been, when a sudden crosswind came up and swiftly blew her away. Too terrified of falling to deflate, she called out for someone to get her down, but no one had realized she was missing yet. Tumbling through the air, the wind carried her on and on until finally the little Balloon collided with a startled Sunset dragon on his way to his daytime lair. She clung on for dear life as he landed, wondering what was going on. Safe on the ground at last, she calmed down enough to deflate and thanked the other dragon for saving her. He flew off with a "Don't mention it, kid." and a bemused "Wait'll the rest o' the flock hears about this!" To this day Puffybreeze refuses to fly or float unless the day is absolutely windless or she's tethered by a sturdy vine. •Reject: Contains too many irrelevant details. •Accept: Awww. -DT •Accept: •Accept: •Accept: •Accept: •Accept: This is very well written! Hmm... re: the Reject, I think this is just a case of different writing styles? It's supposed to be a silly description not a serious novel. *shrugs* To each their own, I suppose. Share this post Link to post
Posted February 15, 2016 I looked in the Description Force thread first since it has a list of some of the people who sign off when reviewing, but who signs off as -E? c: Thanks so much, glad you liked it! ^-^ The inspiration for this one came from the Describe-a-Dragon thread. Oh, that's me! Of course, it's a great description! Share this post Link to post
Posted March 8, 2016 Well, it's certainly been a while since I posted here. Having a community of magi dragons (many barely out of hatchlinghood) so close to a major human town was, in retrospect, probably not the wisest idea. Magic pranks are commonplace now, with heavy competition among Goldenmage Assembly trainees to see who can pull off the most spectacular stunt. Tegarek got banned from Dragontown for making all the fruits and vegetables up for sale start talking - and not just friendly banter, but things guaranteed to put people off a vegetarian diet for life. She's less upset about the banning, though, than about not even making the top five most spectacular pranks. Accept: Love it! - L Accept: Ekrixikta decided to have a competition with Jiuk to see who could cause the most chaos by getting people lost. She went for quantity, not quality, switching street signs around until she had a herd of tourists wandering in circles. The only disadvantage, to her mind, was that the scale of her prank caused her to be discovered and stopped before she'd implemented half of her plan. Accept: And I just reviewed Jiuk the other day! Looks good. - Accept: Accept: Accept: Accept: Accept: Jiuk and Ekrixikta decided to have a competition once to see who could cause the most chaos by getting people lost. She went for quality over quantity, picking a handful of people to ensnare in a hopeless maze of seemingly-identical streets that led nowhere useful. Rumor has it that one victim still roams the streets of Dragontown to this day, but there's probably no truth to that story. Accept: Looks good. A maze of twisting passages, all of them alike? Hmm... - Accept: Accept: Accept: Accept: Accept: Anyone who meets Hodek Toastburner invariably wants to know how such a majestic, awe-inspiring dragon wound up saddled with a name like "Toastburner." Depending on his mood and on who's asking, he'll blame it on a flippant remark by some human, on an ill-fated attempt to help some adventurers with breakfast, on his short-lived job creating salad garnishes out of stale bread, or on something else equally unlikely. It's impossible to tell from his deadpan tone which explanation, if any, is the true one. Actually, Hodek chose his ridiculous second name himself, after it became clear that doing the occasional favor for Tynef and the Goldenmage Assembly meant, by extension, spending entirely too much time interacting with the humans in nearby Dragontown. He can't do anything about his tendency to loom, but visits to Dragontown go much more smoothly now that he's known by the locals as "that Toastburner dragon." Accept: Accept: Accept: Accept: Amazing :'D Accept: Accept: Accept: Lol, I love it! ~Ava Accept: Accept: Terett Spurfoot has taken it upon herself to inform the residents of Dragontown of any impending threats or hazards, as well as basic rules, regulations, and other things of general interest. This would be fine, except for two things. First, many visitors to Dragontown are still unused to interacting with any dragon larger than a pygmy dragon, and thus react to her sudden appearance in front of them with fear, if not outright panic. Second, her poor memory for human faces (she claims all humans look alike to her) means that she can never remember who has already heard her announcement that day. What was useful once becomes quite aggravating when heard half a dozen times in quick succession, especially when one has lived in Dragontown for years and is quite aware of the laws of the city. Accept: Accept: Accept: Accept: Aww I feel so bad for her! Every city with an eye to attracting travelers has at least one - a shop where no self-respecting resident would set foot, but that no visitor would dare to miss. Dragontown has Jasbet's Marvels, a monument to all things garish, tacky, and overpriced. Everything Jasbet sells is dragon-made, with the exception of the small glass globes (each containing a picture of some Dragontown landmark and small particles that resemble snow) that occasionally show up on the shelves as if dropped there by some embarrassed wizard, and these are popular enough that she's willing to lie about their origins. Despite a certain similarity in names, Jasbet always makes it clear that her shop serves a completely different audience than Xywin's. Xywin's Treasures is for the discerning customer with time to spend and an eye for the unusual, while her shop is for those wanting to pick up some small souvenir before they leave (and her way with words means that few customers leave without buying something). Accept: I know I shouldn't go in there, but I'm so tempted to check it out and buy something! -DT Accept: Accept: One would expect one of Dragontown's first black dragon residents to be a warrior or protector, but Kynsir chose a different path. She spends most of her days playing tour guide, which might seem to be a waste of her talents, but Kynsir believes otherwise. The ones she chooses to guide are the potential troublemakers - those who by virtue of breed or upbringing might find travel through Dragontown difficult. What she lacks in size (a hatchlinghood spent getting sick at the drop of a wing left her an undersized adult), Kynsir makes up for in determination (if not tact). She doesn't have the patience yet to be excellent at her job, but she's put in enough time to become quite good indeed. Other black dragons can boast of the enemies they defeated; Kynsir impresses her peers with stories of the time she spent an entire day guiding a plated colossus around Dragontown without any significant mishaps Accept: Looks good. -KoD Accept: Accept: Accept: Accept: Kriyo Fishcatcher delivers a fish every morning to every resident of Seacliff Weyr. It doesn't matter if they're vegetarians, have enough food already, or are heartily sick of fish. Kriyo's job is to deliver fish, so that's what he does. Accept: STOP! PLEASE! Save yourself some work. NO MORE FISH! -DT Accept: Accept: Share this post Link to post
Posted March 11, 2016 (edited) Welp, I've gotten a lot since I last checked. Baelhyr was once the king of a mighty kingdom, or so he says. But it's really not hard to imagine him with a crown resting between his horns as he sits on a regal throne and addresses dignitaries from all over Valkemare. His story goes that he was overthrown by his ungrateful nephew and forced out of his kingdom, after which he wandered Galsriem for years until stumbling into Hawktalon's clan, half-dead from exhaustion. Not a very original tale, but when one compares this with his kind albeit defensive nature and slight confusion on how to take care of himself it seems to make sense. The kingdom he claims to have ruled is on the other end of Galsriem and it is simply not worth visiting a hostile nation to corroborate a rumor, so no will ever know if he lies or not. Either way, he is a good, noble dragon and an invaluable clan member, even if he does tend to hog food and has been known to bully the other warlike dragons when his backstory is questioned. Accept: Accept: Accept: Accept: This is extremely well written. I like the mystery around his backstory, and his name as well! Nice job. Thank you so much! <3 Devindar isn't a sock. No one knows why he feels the need to assert everyone of that obvious fact, but he makes it known quite often. It is possible that the phrase is just a nervous tick used as a placeholder when a conversation suddenly moves to an uncomfortable topic, though that doesn't explain his strange behavior of running up to random dragons he doesn't know and loudly informing them that he isn't, in fact, a sock. Most dragons treat him like a child, calming him when he starts shouting about socks, though that only seems to agitate him more. Few have heard him mention anything that wasn't sock-related, and many use this as yet another reason why Devindar isn't very bright. Even his closest friends are scared to approach the sock topic, for fear of striking some primal chord and sending him deeper into madness. No one knows if he's truly insane, or is simply fond of getting reactions to his antics. Accept: I take it he is quite aftraid of getting strangled. - KoD Accept: Accept: Accept: lol. too funny Accept: I AM NOT A SOCK ROFL, to the first one especially. Elirka never did anything wrong. Her only crime was hatching in the middle of a war that raged throughout all of Valkemare. The war was between a clan of powerful Chrono Xenowyrms and belligerent Seragammas; she had played no part in it. Except that her clan had sheltered a small group of Chrono soldiers. When the Seragammas came they exterminated the entire clan but the Chronos and the oldest hatchlings, which they took hostage. Elirka spent so long in the Seragamma prison camp that she soon forgot what it was like to not have to fight every day of her life, or always ache from the numerous magical weapons that were tested on her. The camp was liberated at the end of the war, but it was centuries later. Unable to return to her previous life, both physically and mentally, she now acts as a field agent in a special forces unit of the Chronos' army, fighting the scattered remaining Seragammas and constantly telling herself her suffering is over. She doesn't often believe it. Accept: Accept: Accept: Welp, how can a powerful Hellfire dragon never do anything wrong? Hehehehehehehe "I grow weaker as my flesh continues to rot away. There are times when I feel no pain, only hunger. I can't tell if it's in my stomach or my mind. I've developed a strange craving for brains..." (Journal entry 327) From a young age Gaulais had a obsession for the undead. By the time his full powers as a Magi had developed, he had completely shut out everything that didn't relate to his studies. His clanmates thought his hobby was morbid but harmless and usually left him alone. Until he started experimenting on them. Dragons disappeared without warning, and several days later mangled bodies were found, smelling of chemicals and dark magic. When he ran out of test subjects, he experimented on himself. The foul combination of magic and alchemical potions slowly rotted both his body and mind, a horrifying process recorded in the detailed journal entries found in the ruins of his lab. But no one will ever know what he was looking for or if he ever found it. If he did he's likely forgotten. Accept: Creepy, but I love it. Accept: Accept: Just a tad freaky... But effective. -MC1 Accept: Accept: An intriguing description! Well done! Accept: I love it! Makes me want to read that journal. ~Ava Accept: Accept: Thanks guys! Freaky was what I was going for LOL. Iydris is a good friend of a nameless Whiptail who constantly travels in search of adventure. She's wild and fearless, and has utterly no common sense. She will do and say whatever enters her brain, and she'll do it with a smile on her face. Perhaps she is so close with the Whiptail because they are so alike, and there's no denying that they're perfect for each other. (He even calls her "Sexy;" for several years she was convinced it was her given name.) He has the same bold streak, though he often has to hold her back. She in turn helps him by seeing into his future, but she frequently gets her tenses mixed up and ends up telling him what he ate for lunch. But however close they are they will never be mates. The Whiptail says this with pain in his eyes, reminded of someone else whom he had had to say that to for different reasons; at which point Iydris spouts nonsense about "fish fingers and custard" to bring him back. Keeping him from getting lost in his nostalgia is a full-time job. Accept: Accept: You mean THIS /lineage/HItUR whiptail? Hehehe, great description. -DT Accept: Accept: Accept: Accept: LOLOL no, Tabs, that Whiptail happens to be her daughter. I meant THIS one. I love that you caught the reference, though. Frostbites are cold and withdrawn by nature, but Iyliss has a good reason for being this way. She was born with enhanced psychic abilities, but her powers weren't strong enough to make her into a soothsayer. She sees only one thing when she looks at those around her: a vision of their deaths. And it's never easy to watch. As a hatchling, Iyliss would scream out what she saw, believing that, like a nightmare, voicing her visions would take away the fear. It only made it worse. Before she was even old enough to know what was happening, she was labeled as a monster. As soon as she was able, she left her clan, learning the helpful side of her power; it allowed her to predict whether she would win a fight or take down her prey. But though she has come to terms with her abilities, she still wishes she had a less morbid gift. Though there are times when she toys with finding a mate, as even she has no way of knowing when exactly they will die, unless of course she sees herself in her vision. Accept: Accept: Accept: Accept: Accept: Accept: Accept: Accept: Accept: Woah. This is epic!!! Accept: Thanks! Kwars has many friends, though it is a wonder why, considering no one can understand him. He communicates with the same language as the rest of his clan, only he loves to keep his phrases "current." However the slang terms he uses are completely made up, resulting in completely arbitrary sentences that make no sense. His closer friends just laugh along with him, pretending they know exactly what he means, though privately they think that Kwars is insane. Contrary to popular belief, he is quite smart and is capable of carrying an intelligent conversation, he just finds such topics boring and stiff. It's much better to be "cool" than "so last season." Whatever that means. Accept: Accept: Accept: Accept: Accept: Accept: Accept: I'm a bit curious what language does he use x3 -A Accept: Accept: Accept: Actually, this is a reference to a minor one-shot character from iCarly who spoke English but in a sort of code that only his best friend could understand. And his lines were the most ridiculous, comedic things that made absolutely no sense. If one wanders through the bright forest of Laysha's territory, they might stumble across a pile of rocks artfully stacked in the middle of a stream or pond, perfectly balanced in a way that seems perfectly impossible. Laysha will spend hours crouching over a chosen spot, carefully arranging the stones so that they balance on their edges as though they might fall over. When she is finished with a sculpture, she gently splashes it with water to give it the impression that it has been there naturally for decades, and then leaves it -- a piece of art in the middle of the wilderness. Only she doesn't consider them art. She does it simply because the challenge relaxes her, and fills her with a strange pride when a sculpture that should logically collapse, is still standing months later. Several pieces in highly-traveled areas have drawn crowds, and though it makes her smile, she never reveals herself... except when she knocks them over. Watching a creation fall is almost more satisfying. Accept: Accept: Accept: Accept: Accept: Accept: This is really well-written. Good job! Accept: Accept: D'aaaw thank you Surtha is large and imposing, but underneath her fire and armor is the even larger heart of a gentle giant who wouldn't harm a fly. She is loved by all, and her love for company is matched only by her love of chocolate. Her hoard consists of coins and other objects sculpted completely out of chocolate. But she only collects chocolate for its sweet smell -- oddly enough she despises its taste. She enjoys more than anything laying in her warm cave, belly-deep in the smooth, sticky pool of chocolate that her inner fire soon forms after returning from an expedition laden with candy figurines, simply breathing in the heavenly smell. Luckily the other members of her clan do like the taste of chocolate and are always there to tidy things up -- and satisfy their sweet fangs in the process. Despite her unusual pastime and the fact that she's always covered in chocolate, she is a beloved member of her clan among her peers and chocolate-loving hatchlings alike. Accept: That's adorable Accept: Accept: Accept: Accept: Accept: Omnomnom, chocolate. o3o ~D Accept: Accept: Accept: Accept: :3 On a clear summer day, when the bitter wind has died down, the frozen ice fields hold a strange, stark beauty. Vast and terrible, yet pure, shaped by the cruel hands of nature herself, the ice fields are home to only the strongest. It takes a tough spirit to thrive in such an unforgiving landscape, as Trelaclya has learned over years of being an outcast in her own clan. A kind flame in a world of ice, she has been forced on more than one occasion to hold back her true self and become the fearsome, hardened warrior she needed to become. But it is always hard denying a part of herself, and maiming when she would rather heal. She daydreams of leaving often, her bright vivid mind showing her warm pictures of green forests and flower-filled meadows and cool rivers alive with darting fish. But every time she turns her head towards the south, she forces herself to look away. She is a creature of ice, of course she could never belong anywhere but here. But that fact won't stop her dreaming. Accept: This is really well written -DT Accept: Accept: Wow, sad! Accept: Accept: Taaabs <3 Her eyes flickered open, and she found herself staring up at a bright orange face. Behind the Magi an anxious White hovered. "Please tell me it worked, Krestomancii. If she turns-" "She's awake," the Magi replied, without taking her eyes off of her patient. "What's your name" The Silver's eyes slid closed again. Her heart pounded.. shadows with dagger-sharp claws.. snarls.. "Not this time, Trise!" ..too many of them.. so much pain.. vision fading with one last.. She roared in anguish as the memory faded. The White leaned forward, concerned. "T-Trise," she managed, her racing mind making it difficult. "Let's leave her to rest." The White beckoned to the Magi to follow her out. Trise lay shivering. She couldn't piece together the memory, but the meaning was clear. She had died. But even if she remembered who she had been, she was certain that not all of her had been brought back. She should be grateful, but how could she live again knowing that. How could she ever see life the same way.. Accept: Accept: Nice description! Is it a reference to something? Abstain: An ellipses has three dots. Accept: Accept: Accept: Disturbing... But awsome writing! Keep up the good work! It's a reference to failed Zombie attempts that just revive normally. This particular dragon was never Zombie fodder but I had an idea so I decided to go with it. And thank you so much, last accept person!! There are those who believe that death is not a final end, but rather a second chance at life itself. That the dead will return wearing different faces, with new insight to help them live better, fuller lives. Ze'gawa swears that before she was a Black Marrow, she had the body of a gentle White. She often tells the story of how her White persona died -- she succumbed to the very plague she had been treating in the myriad of patients that lay suffering around her lair because she had refused to take the necessary precautions to protect herself from the disease, instead using her magical energy to help others. Few believe her, but it is odd how such a practical dragon with so little imagination can weave such a perfect tale with such beautiful imagery. And Ze'gawa herself can't deny the frighteningly realistic nightmares she often suffers from. Maybe there is little more to the story than bad dreams and a talent for writing. Or maybe there is some truth to her wild ramblings after all. Accept: Accept: Accept: I'm a grouchy reviewer, and this kind of description makes me happy. -DT Accept: Accept: Wonderful! Accept: Accept: ooh, really cool. Thumbs up! Asdffywdu TABS. You say the sweetest things. I don't know what you see in this particular one, but d'aaaw thank you so much. Edited March 11, 2016 by HawktalonOfRiverClan Share this post Link to post
Posted March 13, 2016 Bankaz is proud of being the dragon to introduce Kafeva's special drink, kafe, to humans. He can't grind the berries without pulverizing them, but he's found different ways to boil water or heat milk to make the kafe more bearable to delicate human tongues. The humans will insist on calling kafe "coffee," a perfectly ridiculous name, but one can't expect humans to fully appreciate the finer points of draconic culture. Accept: Yet his ridiculous given name looks very much like "coffee" -DT Accept: Accept: ((Well, Bankaz isn't exactly an uncommon name where he's from (he isn't even the only red dragon with that name) and his job description is really his only distinguishing characteristic, so that's what he got stuck with as a way of telling him apart from, say, Bankaz Wolftamer or Bankaz Castleguard.)) Nivef has a passion for gardening, especially landscaping. She's always looking for just the right plant to fill in a bare spot, add a dash of color, or prevent still more topsoil from washing away in the next bad storm. If the weyr's greenery is reasonably under control, she will sometimes help out nearby human settlements if she feels the task is worthy of her talents. After Nivef helped a nearby castle resolve a topiary emergency, the local king designated some recently-retired knights to bring Nivef plants for her projects. The "Knights of Nee," as they call themselves, consider it an honor to be chosen to serve her. Nivef, in turn, is quite fond of her botanical knights (even when they bring her invasive plants that devour everything in sight or grow at a speed that makes kudzu seem sluggish) and creates a special topiary sculpture for each one in recognition of their service. Accept: Awh, and here I was expecting something like "She can often be heard calling out for her knights to 'bring me a shrubbery!'" ((I knew the description was still missing something. I might make that change.)) Share this post Link to post
Posted March 13, 2016 Accept: Awh, and here I was expecting something like "She can often be heard calling out for her knights to 'bring me a shrubbery!'" ((I knew the description was still missing something. I might make that change.)) My thoughts exactly! Share this post Link to post
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