Description comments

[Earth Gurl]

Bolz is a large male with strange, white lightning sparks instead of the normal yellow and white eyes. He is very curious and likes putting his nose into others' business. He can be protective and is also short tempered. He likes collecting stray eggs and hates water. He is slow in combat, but due to his large wings, he can fly quickly. He has a nest in a tree at the entrance of a small town in which he placed his collected eggs. He trades eggs for prey, money, and other eggs that humans can raise. He often trades fairly.

 

I'm not sure about the sentence about the eyes, since it doesn't make very much sense. What were you going for with that? Good description, though. Let me know when you have it finished, and I'll go through and accept it for you.

Edited February 18, 2017 by Earth Gurl

[RainbowTheAlbinoServal]

Thank you! I may finish it through editing the grammar today (note: i'm Vietnamese)

And when I was checking Shiny's description, one of the accept notes said it was nicely done...

It was soo short so how was it nicely done

About the white eyes.. It was for a unique dragon reason

Edit: I finished his description.

Edited February 19, 2017 by Rainbowlight

[Mathcat]

I've seen bad long descriptions and good short descriptions. Length is not always an indicator of quality. I suspect the "nicely done" comment was me, as I've been leaving a lot of those. I have several different comments that I leave if the description is correctly done and has no obvious typos.

[RainbowTheAlbinoServal]

Lol if it was you THANKS SOO MUCH

[C88]

This unfortunate dragon began his life as an electric dragon egg. He was abandoned in a pile of other eggs because he wasn't wanted. He was later taken from said pile-not by a human, but by a lurking vampire dragon. The vampire bit his pilfered prize and successfully turned it, then returning to his coven. After the egg hatched, the new vampire was dubbed "Daylight", after staying in the sunlight unusually often. Despite being "Descended" from one of the coven's more powerful vampires, Daylight was shunned. Even after biting and turning an egg himself, he found no approval from his fellows. Daylight became bitter, remaining at the bottom of the pecking order. One day he was attacked and killed by a human. He lay dead for a while, before his killer returned to his body and subjected it to dark spells. Daylight rose again, imperfectly, as a zombie. He now lurks on the edge of the vampire's territory, a twice-dead horror spoken of in whispers that feeds on the flesh of his former kin.

 

Accept: Electric to vampire to undead... that's pretty neat. -DT

Accept:

Accept: great!!!!!!!!!!!!! i love it

Accept:

Accept: rip in peace daylight im rooting for you

https://dragcave.net/lineage/ITDAY

 

I know the description is a bit long, but I'm pleased so many people liked it. The dragon is a zombie that used to be a vampire, and before it was bitten it was an electric egg. Half the reason I picked him to be zombified was so I could make his code even more ironic. It was a gamble to do, but I'm glad it worked out.

Edited February 19, 2017 by C88

[RainbowTheAlbinoServal]

That description is cool

[RainbowTheAlbinoServal]

Sorry for douple posting, but what do you think about my first soulstone's description?

 

This Soulstone dragon is named Soultaker for one reason, she accidentally killed a human once, and the soul is trapped in her pearl. Because of this, she often avoid humans when she is not working so she wont kill them. She is actually sweet and loving. She was raised by Bolz along with her sister, and now she works in his trading store as the rare eggs trader.

(this description is for My pearl contains a soul)

[Earth Gurl]

This Soulstone dragon is nicknamed Soultaker for one reason: she accidentally killed a human once, and she believes that the soul is trapped in her pearl. Because of this, she often avoids humans when she is not working so that she wont kill them. She is actually sweet and loving. She and her sister were raised by Bolz, and now she works in his trading store as the rare eggs trader.

 

Great description! She is very unique. Remember to emphasize that a dragon has a nickname when you want to refer to the dragon as a different name in the description.

[RainbowTheAlbinoServal]

Thank you! Gonna finish it right away

Edit: Finished!

Edited February 20, 2017 by Rainbowlight

[RainbowTheAlbinoServal]

Sorry for double post again, I will probably be double posting a lot cause I will post all of my dragon's description on here (all of the hatchling and eggs will have description)

So, My pearl contains air grew, and I gave her a description.

This Soulstone is nicknamed Air Pearl because her pearl is empty out in the inside. Unlike her sister Soultaker, she is mischevious and likes to prank people. She and Soultaker were raised by Bolz, and she works in his trading store as the uncommon eggs trader. She often swap her eggs with Fake Eggs.

Let me know how it is!

Edited February 21, 2017 by Rainbowlight

[Chaos Rider]

One of my Royal Crimsons:

 

True to his breed of dragon Crilth was once a prince of the Jehumuh Desert before falling on hard times when his country was invaded. He was able to stash his treasure horde in a cave that only he knew the location of before it could be stolen however. As much as he would like to be able to leave with his treasure he is unable to smuggle out such a large amount on his own. Thus he has sent numerous messages to various dragons across Valkemare hoping to find someone who is willing to help him. Other dragons (and even humans) seem strangely unwilling to help him in this endeavour. He has even tried sweetening the deal by offering to cover the other dragon's expenses with some of the treasure in addition to giving them a quarter of what's left, but still his messages go unanswered.

 

Abstain: "dragon, Crilth", "hoard in a", "stolen, however", "treasure, he is", "Thus, he" -DT

Accept:

Accept:

Accept:

Accept: Great description!

 

Thanks tabs, I will make those corrections. No one seems to have mentioned what I was aiming for in the description though

[Denwayasha]

^I haven't seen yours in the queue yet but I see what you're going for. Are the messages he sends out also riddled with bad grammar and syntax as if poorly translated?

 

When he sings a song, no others stop to listen

Though his melody and harmony are in tune.

He prefers the company of the moon

Than the sun and his brethren who glisten.

 

A haunting sound fills the sky

Filled with longing and mystery

When he sings a song.

 

A tale of stars and comets bright

Enjoyed only by one

Who others shun

Rings out clearly in the night

When he sings a song.

 

User Comments

•Accept: I love your poem descrips & so few do them correctly much less this well. Plz consider posting examples so other can see this done RIGHT (and praise your greatness) -NAT

•Accept: Gorgeous

•Accept:

Thank you for such lovely comments! I think the first commenter was confusing me for KoD, however? I'm still super flattered though since it was at their suggestion (over in the Describe-A-Dragon thread) that I tried my hand at a poem description for the first time. ^-^

[Natayah]

One of my Royal Crimsons:

 

 

 

Abstain: "dragon, Crilth", "hoard in a", "stolen, however", "treasure, he is", "Thus, he" -DT

Accept:

Accept:

Accept:

Accept: Great description!

 

Thanks tabs, I will make those corrections. No one seems to have mentioned what I was aiming for in the description though

I'm pretty sure I commented something about loving the fact we had a Nigerian scam descrip, totally loved it and it was a joy to read. Lots of great descrips, but I'm not gonna lie, this was probably my fave of the evening. Can't wait for it to start showing (even just as pending) and really glad you shared it with others. Maybe I just saw it AFTER this post though. I was working a bit later than some.

 

I know there are a few places where people can show off descrips or highlight them, and I really encourage anyone & everyone to do so for 2 reasons:

 

1. Anything with great creativity or fun or just art should be shared! It helps give others ideas and examples to possibly get them started. Or if they do already to give something to consider & strive to be. And not just all the bestest and awesomest ones. I think a good short descrip is an art too and these should be shown off.

 

2. Some people have really great styles and do things that are hard well. Like a lot of people just make lists of traits, but this isn't a correct style. However, you CAN put lists in, you just gotta know how to do it right. Same with poetry and other things. So I'm glad to see both of you doing examples of very nicely done stuff!

Edited February 21, 2017 by natayah

[Natayah]

^I haven't seen yours in the queue yet but I see what you're going for. Are the messages he sends out also riddled with bad grammar and syntax as if poorly translated?

 

When he sings a song, no others stop to listen

Though his melody and harmony are in tune.

He prefers the company of the moon

Than the sun and his brethren who glisten.

 

A haunting sound fills the sky

Filled with longing and mystery

When he sings a song.

 

A tale of stars and comets bright

Enjoyed only by one

Who others shun

Rings out clearly in the night

When he sings a song.

 

User Comments

•Accept: I love your poem descrips & so few do them correctly much less this well. Plz consider posting examples so other can see this done RIGHT (and praise your greatness) -NAT

•Accept: Gorgeous

•Accept:

Thank you for such lovely comments! I think the first commenter was confusing me for KoD, however? I'm still super flattered though since it was at their suggestion (over in the Describe-A-Dragon thread) that I tried my hand at a poem description for the first time. ^-^

Nope, I mean I know KoD does a lot of great stuff, but I've seen some descrips with poems well done and I love them and wanted to see them shared, glad you did so. I also saw some poem ones but they had NOTHING to do with the dragon, or nothing that was clear, so I think seeing ones well done helps others who want to do this style. Also I imagine all your descrips are great as I've seen others that are fantastic too, no matter their style!

 

For example, if your poem is something like:

 

Darnkess creeps

While Baby sleeps

Terrors in the night

 

And that just ... it might be a good start, or might be perfect but it needs context if the poem isn't obviously specifically about the dragon. I think people who can do a full poem descrip are awesome and deserve kudos and help inspire others to try a hand at it. Even if it's short, it just needs to be specific to the dragon or close enough!

Edited February 21, 2017 by natayah

[RainbowTheAlbinoServal]

I was kinda dead's description:

This vamp is nicknamed Close To Death because he was indeed almost dead when he was a hatchling. Luckily, he was rescued and raised by Bolz, and now he helps him trade eggs for daily food and sometimes goes out to hunt when there is not enough prey for the day. His species before he was turned is unknown.

I will make the other's description shortly after I receive a vote or a rate on here.

Edit: I edited the description using the guides on the abstain! Thanks whoever voted that

Edited February 21, 2017 by Rainbowlight

[Chaos Rider]

I'm pretty sure I commented something about loving the fact we had a Nigerian scam descrip, totally loved it and it was a joy to read. Lots of great descrips, but I'm not gonna lie, this was probably my fave of the evening. Can't wait for it to start showing (even just as pending) and really glad you shared it with others. Maybe I just saw it AFTER this post though. I was working a bit later than some.

 

I know there are a few places where people can show off descrips or highlight them, and I really encourage anyone & everyone to do so for 2 reasons:

 

1. Anything with great creativity or fun or just art should be shared! It helps give others ideas and examples to possibly get them started. Or if they do already to give something to consider & strive to be. And not just all the bestest and awesomest ones. I think a good short descrip is an art too and these should be shown off.

 

2. Some people have really great styles and do things that are hard well. Like a lot of people just make lists of traits, but this isn't a correct style. However, you CAN put lists in, you just gotta know how to do it right. Same with poetry and other things. So I'm glad to see both of you doing examples of very nicely done stuff!

You commented after I fixed some errors and resubmitted it. Thank you for your comment although my intention was that a naive Royal crimson has a legitimate issue with trying to smuggle his treasure out but everyone thinks it's a scam and doesn't reply. The dragon isn't aware of the scam and his attempts to get people to help (sending lots of letters, offering money) only make it look more like said scam

[Laura-Borealis]

When you edit a description, are comments supposed to disappear? I fixed a typo this morning and now the nice comment left by a reviewer is gone.

[Lagie]

When you edit a description, are comments supposed to disappear? I fixed a typo this morning and now the nice comment left by a reviewer is gone.

Yes, the comments disappear if you resubmit a description.

[Laura-Borealis]

Yes, the comments disappear if you resubmit a description.

Rats! Oh well. Thank you for letting me know.

[Dirtytabs]

Sorry for double post again, I will probably be double posting a lot cause I will post all of my dragon's description on here (all of the hatchling and eggs will have description)

So, My pearl contains air grew, and I gave her a description.

This Soulstone is nicknamed Air Pearl because her pearl is empty out in the inside. Unlike her sister Soultaker, she is mischevious and likes to prank people. She and Soultaker were raised by Bolz, and she works in his trading store as the uncommon eggs trader. She often swap her eggs with Fake Eggs.

Let me know how it is!

If you don't want to double post, you can "Edit" your last post (link on top right of all of your posts).

 

In the style of my corrections in the queue:

"her pearl is hollow" (or maybe "her pearl's interior has been emptied out"), "fake eggs" no need to capitalize unless "Fake Eggs" is a product name. In-story, trading eggs is frowned upon if not illegal in most places. Perhaps you should mention Air Pearl "trades eggs" as a front.

 

https://dragcave.net/lineage/ITDAY

 

I know the description is a bit long, but I'm pleased so many people liked it. The dragon is a zombie that used to be a vampire, and before it was bitten it was an electric egg. Half the reason I picked him to be zombified was so I could make his code even more ironic. It was a gamble to do, but I'm glad it worked out.

I liked the description, and I thought the series of events (twice changed breeds) was really neat.

Now I'm thinking... if a dragon with both non-western parents were vamped and then turned, its lineage would surely confuse viewers...

 

BTW, I totally understood your poor royal crimson's not-Spanish-prisoner/not-Nigerian-prince scam. Realized after I had hit Abstain.

Edited February 21, 2017 by dirtytabs

[RainbowTheAlbinoServal]

Lol... I finally have a good description for Wow so brightly colored and I have a new description for my pygmy which I renamed.

Wow so brightly colored's description: This guy somehow conjured a shiny and reflective gem on his chest, only to make him look cooler. He is very very outgoing and loves to sing. He once go out and steal an artist's painting tool to make himself look cooler, but as the result, made himself look like a vamp. He now avoid artists as much as possible. He has a cave in the forest, in which he lives in.

 

The size of a ladybug (the pygmy): This pygmy is nicknamed Tiny because he is surprisingly tiny for a pygmy dragon, he is only the size of a ladybug. He is quite shy and is a bit of a coward. He has a small cave somewhere on the edge of a cliff, and he hides his cave perfectly. He just doesn't want contact whatsoever.

 

Let me know what u think!

[Natayah]

Lol... I finally have a good description for Wow so brightly colored and I have a new description for my pygmy which I renamed.

Wow so brightly colored's description: This guy somehow conjured a shiny and reflective gem on his chest, only to make him look cooler. He is very very outgoing and loves to sing. He once go out and steal an artist's painting tool to make himself look cooler, but as the result, made himself look like a vamp. He now avoid artists as much as possible. He has a cave in the forest, in which he lives in.

 

Here is my suggestions is on edits:

 

"This dragon somehow conjured a shiny and reflective gem on his chest. Not for any special reason, just to attract more attention to himself. He is very very outgoing and loves to sing. He once went out to steal various artists tools to attempt to etch and add additional color and markings to his skin/scales. Instead, the result was him looking more like a vampire! He now avoid artists as much as possible. He lives in a cave deep in the forest."

 

[Kakaru_of_DOOM]

On to topic of poetry, what should I do to popularize it for descriptions? ...I suppose there is an approved descriptions thread that I could throw them at, but I don't know that they would be noticed among all the prose. Hmm...

 

Anyways. Comments. That's what this thread exists for.

 

K0Is likes her namesake fish. She spends most of her time sitting by her pond with her ribbon on the surface of the water to observe their aquatic antics. She has a crush on Argentise, but knows better than to try and draw the tinsel away from her mate. Instead she focuses her romantic attention on PENX2, but the ridgewing dragoness is more interested in literature than love and keeps telling her to try courting males. K0Is isn't interested in males, however - something about the way they smell turns her the wrong way. She would much prefer to find a female partner.

Accept: This is a great descrip as always as to be expected from you! I appreciate several subjects you touch on here including various issues faced - NAT

Accept: I love this. The idea of a lesbian dragon is just unique, and I enjoy in very much. Her romantic conflict adds to her development, and her namesake is wonderfully matches with the fish. Good job!

 

I'm kind of surprised K0Is got this much excitement. I mean, given that there's an LGBBQ-inspired lineage project...

 

 

BLuuv was once cursed - he hatched without a soul. While he acted much like a whiptail, he was clearly missing something and never came up with an original thought. The moonstone known as the Singer of Souls cared for him as she did other soulless dragons, but knew that he was different. What that meant only became apparent many years later, when the soulstone Vijiza came, bearing his soul as well as her own. With the Singer's help BLuuv's soul was transferred safely into his body, and they almost immediately fell in love.

Since he gained a soul, BLuuv has proved a proud and caring dragon. While his mate tends her garden, he has a small capybara farm and raises the large rodents for meat. He loves to dance, especially fast-tempoed foxtrots and tangos, and has a wonderful singing voice. He has practiced the draconic equivalent of poetry, as well - imaging concepts and legends incredibly vividly. When he and Vijiza are together, her orb glows so brightly that the two never have darkness.

Accept: This is quite an eccentric and special dragon. I should like to meet him one day! Great Descrip! - NAT

Vijiza was cursed when she hatched which at first she did not understand. She often felt in conflict with herself, struggling with erratic and sometimes divergent opinions and preferences. Despite this her presence would make any soulstone's orb glow brilliantly.

It was not until long after she matured that she found the root of her problem: she had hatched with another dragon's soul as well as her own. When she eventually found its proper body, BLuuv's soul left to where it belongs. Having -in a sense - shared the same body, the two knew each other well, yet had to re-learn the other as separate from themselves. Still, they immediately fell in love.

Nowadays, Vijiza is a quiet dragon who loves long flights and ballroom dancing - especially tango and foxtrot. She has a large garden where she grows mostly flowers and sometimes travels to nearby towns. Wherever she goes, BLuuv follows, and their relationship causes her orb to glow so bright that other relationships' effects are eclipsed.

Accept: It is nice to meet BLuvv's wife. She sounds very lovely, but I'm sorry, BLuvv just wins with his farm of large meatrodents - NAT

 

It's always the giant rodents! I remember a while back I did a rodent-of-unusual-size farming black dragon, and the rodents garnered all the excitement with him, too.

[Earth Gurl]

On to topic of poetry, what should I do to popularize it for descriptions? ...I suppose there is an approved descriptions thread that I could throw them at, but I don't know that they would be noticed among all the prose. Hmm...

 

Anyways. Comments. That's what this thread exists for.

 

Accept: This is quite an eccentric and special dragon. I should like to meet him one day! Great Descrip! - NAT

Vijiza was cursed when she hatched which at first she did not understand. She often felt in conflict with herself, struggling with erratic and sometimes divergent opinions and preferences. Despite this her presence would make any soulstone's orb glow brilliantly.

It was not until long after she matured that she found the root of her problem: she had hatched with another dragon's soul as well as her own. When she eventually found its proper body, BLuuv's soul left to where it belongs. Having -in a sense - shared the same body, the two knew each other well, yet had to re-learn the other as separate from themselves. Still, they immediately fell in love.

Nowadays, Vijiza is a quiet dragon who loves long flights and ballroom dancing - especially tango and foxtrot. She has a large garden where she grows mostly flowers and sometimes travels to nearby towns. Wherever she goes, BLuuv follows, and their relationship causes her orb to glow so bright that other relationships' effects are eclipsed.

Accept: It is nice to meet BLuvv's wife. She sounds very lovely, but I'm sorry, BLuvv just wins with his farm of large meatrodents - NAT

 

It's always the giant rodents! I remember a while back I did a rodent-of-unusual-size farming black dragon, and the rodents garnered all the excitement with him, too.

I've personally been thinking about developing a "describing guide" for users to read and see what I accept and reject. (I've rejected far more descriptions than I've accepted, I feel like, just for simple reasons). Perhaps some examples would be necessary for formats like poetry. Then people would see some. I've also seen some "list" stuff too which is really, really borderline.

 

It would be some sort of extension of the description guidelines with examples and other lesser-known mistakes that people make that I simply cannot accept. I don't know, I've just been referring hundreds of people to these two threads to receive feedback, and I feel like there should be something on the front page to help them.

 

Also: I love your descriptions. I REALLY enjoy reading your poetry aloud.

[RainbowTheAlbinoServal]

I suppose I could also use a song as the dragon's reference?

I'm thinking that I will freeze my pillow dragon and it will have a song as a reference.