Emotional Support

[gigglymonkey12]

I've accidentally ruined a friendship because my internet went out while I was in the middle of typing...

 

 

I want to cry. I made matters worse because I tried covering myself....

I'm sorry to hear that.

Hopefully, another chat with your friend can make things better?

[hazeh]

One of my rats died yesterday. I thought the other night she was acting a little off, and then yesterday when I got home from work she was extremely agitated and acting all wrong. I tried getting a hold of any small animal vet in the area, but none were available and the emergency room couldn't see rats until 6pm (it was almost 5 at this point). So I decided to take her to the clinic I work at even though we don't see rats, and she passed away in my hand on the way there.

She was an older rat, but not old enough to die from old age yet. j~j

[Moonlight_Eevee]

One of my rats died yesterday. I thought the other night she was acting a little off, and then yesterday when I got home from work she was extremely agitated and acting all wrong. I tried getting a hold of any small animal vet in the area, but none were available and the emergency room couldn't see rats until 6pm (it was almost 5 at this point). So I decided to take her to the clinic I work at even though we don't see rats, and she passed away in my hand on the way there.

She was an older rat, but not old enough to die from old age yet. j~j

Oh no! I'm so sorry for your loss. I know it's just an animal, but they're still part of your family I know what it's like to lose a pet like that.

[Chicogal]

Just really really stressed about school at the moment. Like, there's so much to do. I've been accepted into uni, but I'm anxious all the time that I'm not going to meet my admission requirements. The reality is that I probably will, but there's this little voice niggling all the time... And yet, I still procrastinate.

[HeatherMarie]

One of my rats died yesterday. I thought the other night she was acting a little off, and then yesterday when I got home from work she was extremely agitated and acting all wrong. I tried getting a hold of any small animal vet in the area, but none were available and the emergency room couldn't see rats until 6pm (it was almost 5 at this point). So I decided to take her to the clinic I work at even though we don't see rats, and she passed away in my hand on the way there.

She was an older rat, but not old enough to die from old age yet. j~j

Oh goodness I'm so sorry. Losing a pet is hard. Try to focus on the good memories you had with her.

 

I almost made it two weeks without missing a day of work. Almost. And then I had to go an have a severe panic attack this morning and I couldn't calm down and I ended up calling in. I feel stupid. Why does this always happen to me?

[gigglymonkey12]

I almost made it two weeks without missing a day of work. Almost. And then I had to go an have a severe panic attack this morning and I couldn't calm down and I ended up calling in. I feel stupid. Why does this always happen to me?

I'm so sorry about that.

However, I don't think you should beat yourself up over that.

---

@Chicogal what admission requirements do you still have to do?

I would stop panicking and worrying. (Maybe a moment of panic is okay, but it's not really conducive...)

Take a moment to make a list of what you have to do and how long each tasks should take.

Break it into small amounts...if they're tests you have to take to qualify for a test maybe you should spend a day or so brushing up on the material and taking the test. (Give yourself a good 15 min break every now and then).

 

Do a task a day.

Before you know it...you'll be done with the tasks and that should assuage your worry.

You'll need to practice good time management skills and task delegation (hahah delegating tasks for yourself) in order to survive in uni.

If you put more effort now...you'll spend less time later on. (You're worrying and that's taking up all the good vibes, but if you get it done then you won't worry...and besides...put the time that you're using for worrying into good use).

Edited July 28, 2016 by gigglymonkey12

[Endyr_Serifi]

I feel better today after what happened and now I'm trying my best to mend the friendship.... Don't think it's ever going to mend.

 

 

Also I accidentally grabbed my blemish toner and used that to get eyeliner off using it. My eye still burns.

 

Edit:

 

Oh and my Betta fish is probably going to pass soon due to old age. I'm scared to clean his tank but at the same time it might help... I'm afraid he might go into shock when I clean it though...

 

 

And @ShinyHazardSign

 

I'm so sorry for your loss, I've had my experience with loosing pets, and it's never eased up on me.

Edited July 28, 2016 by Jsward322

[Starscream]

all in all it was a good day, I bought a bottle of wine to celebrate it with my husband. put it on the desk and ran off to use the bathroom. it decided to vinticide on my floor and smashed. I am extremely disappointed. I need a hug. because it was the best day in weeks until this point.

[SheridanCharon]

Just found out my so-called best friend blatantly lied to me. Again.

[Endyr_Serifi]

The doctors found two 3cm lumps on my sisters thyroid and won't do anymore X-rays until they get bigger.... She is in pain.

 

 

@charondusk

im sorry that your best friend did that to you. If they continue to lie, I would drop them.

[gigglymonkey12]

Just found out my so-called best friend blatantly lied to me. Again.

Have you tried, gently, calling your friend out on her lying?

I'm sorry that your best friend lied to you though.

----

 

I woke up to the news that one of my friend died during his deployment

It makes me sad to confront the reality of mortality...

Edited July 30, 2016 by gigglymonkey12

[Natayah]

Just found out my so-called best friend blatantly lied to me. Again.

I have found people that repeatedly lie, have various reasons for doing it. If you are dealing with a compulsive liar, someone who lies for attention/manipulation, or a myriad of other manipulative psych disorders, drop them. If it's an issue where they are honestly afraid of facing the consequences or are afraid to say "no" or anything negative and that is just how they get around it, that might be something you can fix. But there is a difference between white lies, anxiety lies, and all other lies. And if honesty is a value to you, then you and this friend just aren't going to work out. I don't know how old you are or aren't, but as you get older you have a lot fewer friends for this reason. Sometimes if the person is manipulative but you still get enough out of the relationship to be willing to put up with it, there are a lot of books on how to deal with the various psych manipulation issues that cause lying and they can help you evaluate it.

 

. After having "friends" who were liars for various reasons, I honestly only kept them around as long as I needed them and then dumped them the first chance I got wishing the entire time I could find a reason to drop them earlier but I needed or got something out of the relationship that I was willing to overlook it for a period of time. But I hated it, and really hated them, the entire time. My S/O won't even put up with that. I don't think you are doing either of you any favors by keeping them around. You will (or already are) grow to dislike and despise and not trust them. Downgrade them from Best Friend status and go from there. But generally, drop them. You can tell them why, but that depends on how much you feel you owe them. They will probably deny it and cause even more drama and that may not be worth what you have to endure on your end.

 

I ETA: I am adding this last part to literally clarify one of two reasons to stay in a manipulative relationship: 1. You get SO MUCH out of the relationship it's worth putting up with 2. You "get something" out of the relationship that is unhealthy and ultimately like or need that for your own issues. This paragraph isn't meant to be cruel, but to be honest. I don't think this sounds like you, but some people enjoy the manipulation games back and forth and like having something to complain about or to feel victimized over and get attention. NOW if you fit that bill (which again, I don't think you do), then that person is worth keeping around because you are both feeding into each others' manipulation and drama. That is the ONLY time manipulative relationships should be kept. Actually they shouldn't, but to each their own. Otherwise, respect yourself enough to get out of the manipulation. Again, if it's not manipulation but is really just them not being able to face things or being afraid of telling you stuff you don't want to hear, this you can fix. The other, you can't.

Edited July 30, 2016 by natayah

[Starscream]

I can feel dark violent urges creeping up because I have been awakened once again due to construction work.

 

this has set off a extremely huge negative emotion, a lot of anger, rage, hate. Thoughts of going out there to beat the crap out of the work men with metal pans is intense. Any sort of attack on them for disrupting me-yet again.

 

I could cry because I am so tired. So exhausted, so fed up of getting maybe 3 hours sleep a day. I spent last week attempting to return my pattern to normal. I found myself waking at 8am as a result of this constant disruption. And my normal wake time for my bed time is 10-11am. As I work in a restaurant, and I am actually going back to a place I worked some time ago, 1 - 3am home times are not uncommon. I like to sit back and unwind a little. I rarely go to bed before 3 or 4am. Sometimes I have to go to work at 11am - and this is not going to help me.

 

I am just very tired and not rested. This is even having a huge effect on my ability to write fanfic. I am just bone tired. I can't focus.

 

I.want.to.beat.them.with.very.hard.objects.

 

[NoraNora]

Wow, it's been far too long.

I've changed a bit..a lot..but somewhat positively

Warning, it's LONG

 

Nothing too horrible has happened, but the bruises from my dads "roughhousing" are finally appearing (not that I've been waiting for a visible sign but they felt like they were there before)

Whenever he has his hands near my upper thigh (Not in a gesture you might be thinking), he'll do this claw machine thing with his fingers and press down, and my legs must be sensitive because holy.crap. It HURTS. I can't tell him it hurts though because I personally think it's weird so..whoops.

 

This is more about my mother but it still hurts me too because I, unlike my dad, supported it. She had so many Guinea pigs, around 53 to be exact-ish. She was 1st in the country for a while because she showed them before her nail profession got active. Since she stopped showing we simply had 53 piggies. I think she was feeding them Blue Seal but I don't quite remember. Something went wrong in the packaging so what's needed and not needed got messed up. It poisoned them.

 

She had 53. She has 7 now. She gave survivors(6) away because she can't sell infected pigs, it doesn't kill them over time since she saved some of their systems but no promise that they'll be able to breed. She's absolutely devastated. That was 9 years of hard worked wasted.

 

My dad shrugged it off, she's planning on sueing for 5,000(I think 10 is best but her choice), and to compensate she's getting a new dog, who I'm excited for.

 

I don't remember if I posted this but then again it's been far too long. I have an Asexual friend who got a girlfriend(so happy for her!) and she invited me for a sleepover with our other friend. We were going to the faire earlier in July. Now her girlfriend is known to do drugs, bad decisions and such, sadly. Two old friends of mine came wobbling in high off their rears and offered the girlfriend a smoke, who accepted and vanished. Other then comforting her and such, our friend, A(sleepover host/friend) made us search high and low for D(girlfriend), only to see that she only went to get something with them. We wandered the whole time but got separated because A wanted to find D again. The friend, N, has a history of big crowd fear and attacks, and while those two were being lovey, I had to pull her to the nearby library to calm her down before she started crying.

 

During the fireworks, A and D made out. The fireworks are an hour long I think(or two). We got back to the house, where I was kicked out of the bunk bed room so D can sleep on the bottom, N was on the top. The whole night(and I'm not kidding), A and D had intercourse..in their own way since, both are girls. N had to listen to that. She had a panic attack and sobbed into the pillow, so I had to go in there and insist she come down to stay where I was, just outside on the large(2 person) pullout couch. The two girls didn't stop until 4, N didn't fall asleep until 2 and until then I put up funny vidoes to cheer her up. We later found we only got invited because her dad doesn't trust D. A is asexual, reminding you, because she supposedly hated getting sexual and such. Yeah. That's a lie. It hurt me and my friend, but caused her more emotional harm than me, but even so it still hurt us to be lied to and used like that, we were treated like a third wheel so she could have her precious girlfriend over and it makes me sick.

Edited August 2, 2016 by NoraNora

[RWyvern]

trigger warning

 

Is it just accepted as the social norm? Is self-harming, breakdowns, depression just a thing that happens? I've seen so much of it over the past year ranging from family to friends to complete strangers.

 

I recieved news of another recent occurrence. Someone I hardly know, but I'm so upset. This person has ties to a family member, too. I've worked so hard to numb myself to this kind of thing, but every ****ing time it shows up in any shape or form,, I just can't handle it. dammit, why can't I just accept stuff happens and remain strong for the ones who struggle?

 

Three minutes. I give myself three minutes to shed a tear. But composition feels like a must for me to keep. It doesn't matter if I'm losing track or certainty of my own views and beliefs - I need to keep myself as neutral as possible to avoid alienating everyone I care about.

[georgexu94]

trigger warning

 

Is it just accepted as the social norm? Is self-harming, breakdowns, depression just a thing that happens? I've seen so much of it over the past year ranging from family to friends to complete strangers.

 

I recieved news of another recent occurrence. Someone I hardly know, but I'm so upset. This person has ties to a family member, too. I've worked so hard to numb myself to this kind of thing, but every ****ing time it shows up in any shape or form,, I just can't handle it. dammit, why can't I just accept stuff happens and remain strong for the ones who struggle?

 

Three minutes. I give myself three minutes to shed a tear. But composition feels like a must for me to keep. It doesn't matter if I'm losing track or certainty of my own views and beliefs - I need to keep myself as neutral as possible to avoid alienating everyone I care about.

This may not be excellent advice, but it's the best I got as of date. It's their own struggle and I know it pains you to see others as that, but it will not do that you will be sensitive to it. Simply be for the person who encounters those moments.

[Syiren]

I don't know why I'm just feeling so depressed right now. It didn't help that someone just gave me bad advice and told me to play around and said I needed to get laid and there's no harm in getting high.

 

....I just don't even...how can someone give advice like that and think it's a good thing? I want to bang my head against a wall, but I don't have the energy. ;

[Natayah]

I don't know why I'm just feeling so depressed right now. It didn't help that someone just gave me bad advice and told me to play around and said I needed to get laid and there's no harm in getting high.

 

....I just don't even...how can someone give advice like that and think it's a good thing? I want to bang my head against a wall, but I don't have the energy. ;

I'm really super sorry you are depressed. It sucks and is usually something that goes on for an extended period of not a lifetime and I hope you use advice that is REAL on how to deal with that. But there is nothing wrong with getting laid and getting high or NOT getting laid and NOT getting high or whatever combo because it depends on what you as a person feel comfortable with. And, honestly, some people just give advice that seems to negate your feelings because they think that is the best answer and/or they really don't know how to help or don't want to so a flip answer is better than saying "I don't really care to hear about this and don't know how to help so can we not talk about it thanks."

 

I certainly wouldn't say that is good advice, but I wouldn't say it's bad advice either, again, depending on the circumstance. There are people who really need certain experience or certain activities work well for them. Every brain and body is chemically different (Yes a lot is the same, but I mean there is plenty different) and so are your reactions to think. So I think that answer is really flip and not really compassionate so you are totally justified feeling that way.

 

Don't ever do anything you don't want to do. But being depressed is a different area and there are proven effective ways that are safe and suggested to deal with it, so I'd always recommend Doctors + Science First! And I think you know that already so stick with that.

Edited August 5, 2016 by natayah

[Syiren]

I'm really super sorry you are depressed. It sucks and is usually something that goes on for an extended period of not a lifetime and I hope you use advice that is REAL on how to deal with that. But there is nothing wrong with getting laid and getting high or NOT getting laid and NOT getting high or whatever combo because it depends on what you as a person feel comfortable with. And, honestly, some people just give advice that seems to negate your feelings because they think that is the best answer and/or they really don't know how to help or don't want to so a flip answer is better than saying "I don't really care to hear about this and don't know how to help so can we not talk about it thanks."

 

I certainly wouldn't say that is good advice, but I wouldn't say it's bad advice either, again, depending on the circumstance. There are people who really need certain experience or certain activities work well for them. Every brain and body is chemically different (Yes a lot is the same, but I mean there is plenty different) and so are your reactions to think. So I think that answer is really flip and not really compassionate so you are totally justified feeling that way.

 

Don't ever do anything you don't want to do. But being depressed is a different area and there are proven effective ways that are safe and suggested to deal with it, so I'd always recommend Doctors + Science First! And I think you know that already so stick with that.

The problem is, they didn't give the advice because they knew I was depressed. He was just telling me what I should do with my life. He's a friend of my ex-boyfriend and he always annoys me.

 

I was at the library, where you're supposed to be quite. Here he comes blaring his voice like he using a loudspeaker and talking about X-rated themes. Like what age he hit puberty and its okay to mess around and what he likes to do in bed. I tried politely telling him to 'shut up' but he shushed me and talked over me and asked what my style is in the bedroom as carelessly as if he were talking about the weather. It's none of his business what I do.

 

He was telling me it's okay to smoke weed and that it was healthy. He also said his friend needs to grab a beer or something and get drunk once in a while. My ex takes seizure medicine. He can't have alcohol.

 

I hate sounding like a girlscout, but I don't smoke cigarettes let alone any kind of illegal drug. I can't stand beer and have never touched wine. It's just not for me. So to be told by someone I can barely tolerate that I need to have a little fun with boys and do this crap is revolting on every level.

 

I want a real relationship that will possibly last a lifetime. I don't want a different partner every other week. I want love, not a one-night stand. Which is why I'm not dating at the moment because I'm trying to better my life by looking for a job. If I were to 'get high' as that jerk put it then I'd fail any drug test they gave me. Not. Gonna. Happen. I respect myself too much for that.

 

I'm not directing this banter at you, natayah, btw. I'm just venting my anger towards that jerk now that I have the energy to. I was so tired yesterday I couldn't even think clearly.

[Natayah]

Oh totally, I have no idea why that person was bothering you and if he approaches you again you should move or go to a person with authority to eject them for harassing you.

 

By choice, I didn't sleep with anyone until I got married, and I've been with my S/O for over 20 years. So I don't personally and wouldn't personally be a person who is a sleep around random partner type. At the same point, some people are built that way. And I wouldn't force one opinion or another on any one person because I think that is a personal decision. But once you have a personal decision, you should be supported for that, not belittled for it, and that person you need to keep out of your space or report them or something of that vein.

 

Also, one of the reason people make some of the dumbest decisions or decisions that have no real logical thought while they are younger are because of several reasons, and that is one of the reasons people also do a lot of things they would rather not have done. If you decide to avoid those things, there is certainly nothing wrong with that. Generally you won't regret it later unless things you do or don't do are brought about due to whatever disorders or things you need to fix.

 

That is a horrible experience to have had.

[Polar]

I have a dilemma, you could say.

 

There's this girl that sits next to me in my math class who sometimes (as I'm not sure if she always does) uses a math engine to spit out the answers to her homework problems. I heard from her friend that she could get kicked out of the class if the professor found out yet she will do it in front of the teacher. What's tripping me up is that she's actually pretty nice and seems like someone I could actually be friends with. I know that I probably should befriend someone who cheats on homework and should turn her in to the professor or the honor council, but at the same time I don't want to seem like a snitch by my classmates. I'm already sort of a teachers pet, and don't want to be seen as a "tattle" too, but at the same time reporting her if she continues using it would be the right thing to do. Any advice?

[Moonwick]

I have a dilemma, you could say.

 

There's this girl that sits next to me in my math class who sometimes (as I'm not sure if she always does) uses a math engine to spit out the answers to her homework problems. I heard from her friend that she could get kicked out of the class if the professor found out yet she will do it in front of the teacher. What's tripping me up is that she's actually pretty nice and seems like someone I could actually be friends with. I know that I probably should befriend someone who cheats on homework and should turn her in to the professor or the honor council, but at the same time I don't want to seem like a snitch by my classmates. I'm already sort of a teachers pet, and don't want to be seen as a "tattle" too, but at the same time reporting her if she continues using it would be the right thing to do. Any advice?

I personally wouldn't report her. I dunno. It might be my poor experience in school, but some people have terrible parents who will do severe things if their kids don't excel in class, and you have no idea if that could be her case.

 

If she does get in trouble, let it be on her own.

 

Befriending her might be of more benefit, if you think that she's someone you could be friends with. And then from there, you could help her out if she is struggling in math. This will also save you the trouble of being seeing as a "tattle".

[kourabiedes]

I'm tired. I'm exhausted, even. It's been... what, a week since my other post? Two? I don't know anymore, really. I lost track of my days when the painkillers ran out.

 

I've been in pain off and on for seven years. I've missed way too many happy events. My life effectively went on hold the day the doctors finally shrugged and said "well gee, we can't find anything".

 

And somehow, I'm still not "sick enough" to be accepted for disability...?

[emrelda]

I apologize for all the censorkipz in advance. Linguistic self-restraint is not one of my strong points...

 

I really, really can't deal with the neighbors around me. I have so many bad words for them. Pretty much every bad word in the book, really. Even poor Censorkipz would be offended. I have to stay here in this house with my parents because I don't have a paying job (just an internship which is ok for "experience," but experience doesn't freaking put food on the table--a rant for another day, of course).

 

These people will let their dog bark day and night with no efforts to train it or even just stop it. Right now they're sitting in their living room with the window open, making howling noises so their dog will do the same. It sets off every other canine on the block, and I'm not exactly a dog person to begin with. Oh, and of course it's 10--pm. Naturally. When they're not doing this they're usually staying home from work so that they can host huge family get-togethers in which nearly all members get drunk and scream on their back porch until 1 am. They're easily amused enough that bean bag toss games, which are noisy when the bean bags hit the wooden panel or whatever it is, last for literal hours.

 

They have no regard for anyone but their own selves. When they first moved in in 2011 my dad went over to politely tell them to keep it down and they acted like we just told them they should go live in a tent next to Target or something. I've called the police, but once the officer leaves their house they just go outside and scream at our house, or drive by yelling profane things out the window. So calling the police and confronting them are out of the picture. These houses are complete cardboard with thin windows so you can hear everything, even with the windows closed, so closing windows is out too.

 

I'm just angry to the point of tears and I haven't slept well at all this week because they've consistently been loud late every night this week, so of course that sets off my anxiety and depression and I don't eat or get enough fluids and studying is that much harder, and there is literally nothing I can do, short of going and living on the streets--which sometimes sounds very appealing in all honesty. I have been dealing with this for five years and I am just a total wreck at this point. I can't think of anything else to do. I can't think of any more ways to rationalize this. I just want to vent by screaming until my throat is raw, throwing tissue boxes at the floor until my arms cramp up, or giving some very choice words to my neighbors, even though I fully know that would actually make everything about ten times worse.

[gigglymonkey12]

I apologize for all the censorkipz in advance. Linguistic self-restraint is not one of my strong points...

 

I really, really can't deal with the neighbors around me. I have so many bad words for them. Pretty much every bad word in the book, really. Even poor Censorkipz would be offended. I have to stay here in this house with my parents because I don't have a paying job (just an internship which is ok for "experience," but experience doesn't freaking put food on the table--a rant for another day, of course).

 

These people will let their dog bark day and night with no efforts to train it or even just stop it. Right now they're sitting in their living room with the window open, making howling noises so their dog will do the same. It sets off every other canine on the block, and I'm not exactly a dog person to begin with. Oh, and of course it's 10--pm. Naturally. When they're not doing this they're usually staying home from work so that they can host huge family get-togethers in which nearly all members get drunk and scream on their back porch until 1 am. They're easily amused enough that bean bag toss games, which are noisy when the bean bags hit the wooden panel or whatever it is, last for literal hours.

 

They have no regard for anyone but their own selves. When they first moved in in 2011 my dad went over to politely tell them to keep it down and they acted like we just told them they should go live in a tent next to Target or something. I've called the police, but once the officer leaves their house they just go outside and scream at our house, or drive by yelling profane things out the window. So calling the police and confronting them are out of the picture. These houses are complete cardboard with thin windows so you can hear everything, even with the windows closed, so closing windows is out too.

 

I'm just angry to the point of tears and I haven't slept well at all this week because they've consistently been loud late every night this week, so of course that sets off my anxiety and depression and I don't eat or get enough fluids and studying is that much harder, and there is literally nothing I can do, short of going and living on the streets--which sometimes sounds very appealing in all honesty. I have been dealing with this for five years and I am just a total wreck at this point. I can't think of anything else to do. I can't think of any more ways to rationalize this. I just want to vent by screaming until my throat is raw, throwing tissue boxes at the floor until my arms cramp up, or giving some very choice words to my neighbors, even though I fully know that would actually make everything about ten times worse.

Have you tried filing a complaint with the police?

I know, in my neighborhood at least, that after a certain time...you have to be more quiet and courteous.