Emotional Support

[Yandere_Blood18]

Hello~

 

Well, I've talked about this before to someone but it still bugs me. I've been stressed for the past few months due to several things, and I feel like my brain is melting.

 

Here's the major things:

 

- We might be losing our apartment because my mom is way behind on bills. I will be selling a lot of the games I don't play anymore or have never touched since I've bought them to help out, but that will only cover the rent and not the other utilities. Plus, my mom has to go into the hospital because she's sick again. But the landlord doesn't care, in fact he thinks my mom is LYING to get out of paying him. All he did was stare and threatened her with moving out but said he'd 'think about it' and would get back to us. I hope we won't get kicked out and we'll have to live in the van...I mean, it's near winter and we also have a dog to take care of.

I wanna punch that landlord in the face, it's strange he's acting this way because even when we first moved in he was always really understanding and very kind. And we've lived in our apartment for almost 5 years now with no previous threats or problems, but I think the reason for the trouble we're going through now is because we lost the money that I had and I saved to help pay for the bills in the first place.

 

- I know I have to get a job soon, but even if I were to get one within the next day or two I wouldn't get the money in time to help pay off the rent. Plus I know finding a job will be difficult since I break like a twig under pressure and my skills are very limited outside of clothing/house design (which I will eventually go to college for but I'll probably never work in that field because it's too much work for me). The most I'd do is re-stocking shelves, I'd never be able to do a cash register if my life depended on it.

Plus I'm upset about my mom having to end up buying the Sun/Moon games I preordered a few months back. I told her to cancel them, but she knew how hyped I was for them so she is saving up for them and has over the past 2 months now. It still makes me upset, and again even if I got a job I wouldn't make enough money in time to actually buy the games myself.

 

- This one's a bit of a long one, and it's the major reason why all this is happening. Let's just say that a 'friend' of mine went all 'wolf in sheep's clothing' on me and we all realized too late (if you get the song reference then I applaud you). She stole my card, then stole all my inheritance over ONE week. We didn't notice until the end of the week because we hadn't used it in almost a month, and my mom found out when she wanted to get a new tire for my van.

We already got all the evidence and everything, she's in jail, and I got a restraining order out on her because she tried to break into our house more than once. Oh, and my 'friend' is a junkie so you can guess where all that money went. Plus, I just found out recently that the bank might be lying to us about how we'll get all that money back. They said she had to pay in 'restitution', but now I'm going to see if the bank has a 'fraud department' (I think that's what it's called?) and they should be able to pay it back.

 

- I'm still worried my 'friend' has hidden something inside our house due to how many times she tried to break in before I got the restraining order. We gave her all her stuff (we threw away the drugs because we could get in trouble just for having it in our house even though she brought them in without our permission), minus a few things that a neighbour of mine kept because that neighbour had housed her for almost 4 years and it was mostly stuff that the neighbour bought for her.

Plus, my 'friend' stole all my WiiU games (which includes Mario Party, Mario Kart, and Pokken Tournament which btw we got on the day it came out in the US) and was going to steal my mom's jewelry. I'm just glad she's in jail right now, and no one is even trying to get her out. But I get paranoid easily, so just knowing that there might be something in our house she's trying to get makes me want to go completely nutters.

 

 

...So, yeah.

I'm completely stressed out right now. I don't know what to do, I just wanna cry but we've been through WORSE than all this (honestly our current landlord isn't as bad as the previous one where he threw away all our stuff even though we told him beforehand that we were moving out and we paid 2 month's rent in advance...my mom lost her breathing machine and wedding rings, plus we lost all out clothes and toys which we were planning to half give away and half keep). I was just hoping we'd finally be better off since I got my inheritance, but I guess when you think it'll only rain a bit you'll find glass shooting at you from the sky as fire is set under your very feet.

 

I'm gonna go cry for awhile...maybe eat some ice cream....have a cup of hot cocoa....take a nap...

[georgexu94]

Maybe the landlord is also in tough times, and that is why he acts such if he was kind and understanding before. Circumstances can change people, you know.

 

Anyway, I am very sorry you have to undergo these events. Stay strong. You already proved yourself to be so.

[aerolyx]

It's me again with the severe social anxiety. i think im definitely in a rut again

 

There was a place i've wanted to work at since I was a kid and I applied for it the other day. And they called me back to schedule an interview! Which would be cool except....I missed said call. They gave me a few days to call back. Its now been a few days since and I havent done it. Why? Well take a guess :/ I tried doing it several times but I got so scared and started trembling so bad that I couldnt do it. I hung up right away the one time I did make it throught too lol

 

I want to get out of my current job too though. My job is running a drive thru register so its ya know, talking to TONS of people and dealing with these (mostly) angry impatient people. It really sucks, its scary, and its the last job someone in my state should be doing. I was crosstrained to do everything but nobody likes doing drive thru and nobody gives a darn how I feel so im stuck doing the same thing every single day. My anxiety doing it gets so bad sometimes that i've even had mental breakdowns during our busiest times. Lucky for me I guess though, im REALLY good at hiding emotions and barely keeping on so nobody has figured it out yet. But still...that's just wrong

 

So see, I need to get out of there. I so badly need a new job. But im so scared and pretty much incapable of doing it so I keep putting myself through this anyways. I feel like I shouldnt bother trying for a new job anyways too because I have done a handful of interviews these past months and guess what I did? Cried and lost my voice. Yep thats happened everytime and who in the right mind would hire someone like that? It's amazing my current job hired someone like me in the first place (then again I never got an interview I just got hired on the spot out of pity so)

 

Anyways...it's just frustrating. I dropped college because I couldnt handle it thanks to anxiety. I can't even get a new entry level job let alone something in the field I went to school for thanks to anxiety. can't do ANYTHING save sit around and feel guilty thanks to anxiety and I hate it

[georgexu94]

Don't fret about what people think. Those customers who come to the drive-thru complain all the time. And they complain of the service of the establishment, not you individually. So, do not take it personally. Hey, they won't even remember your name, or you. If you encounter them on the streets, they will treat you as any ordinary stranger, and will not think of you as the drive thru person they lashed out on. They would or might even smile at you.

 

As for the job, I understand how difficult it is to find a job, but you will find one eventually.

[andromedae]

This isn't too bad, and I'm not usually anxious, but today I just am. How do you guys deal with anxiety in general? It's terribly troublesome atm and it's not really about something so bad. I'm just afraid of having done something wrong. The anxiety has been absolutely through the roof, I think it's got to do with me spending a lot of time alone these days. I get so nervous, my heart pounds and I'm getting butterflies in my stomach. I'm procrastinating what I have to do. The logical part of myself says that I'm being ridiculous. I just want to calm down and take things into stride.

[Evangeline]

I can't eat. My stomach hurts. I've made myself eat. I was hungry for the first time just now. Felt like throwing up once I did eat. Couldn't eat much. Can't sleep much. Keep waking up constantly during the night. I cry. When I don't cry, i'm empty. I'm broken.

 

I know stuff will get better.

 

Everything just kinda fell a part all at one time. It's going to take me a little bit. I'm just really sad right now. Can things please go okay? Can everything work out for the good?

 

Will anything make it better? I distract myself with tv and life as much as possible. I don't want to be around a lot of people. I keep falling a part. I dislike all of this. What to do. What to do.

[Wandering4Ever]

This isn't too bad, and I'm not usually anxious, but today I just am. How do you guys deal with anxiety in general? It's terribly troublesome atm and it's not really about something so bad. I'm just afraid of having done something wrong. The anxiety has been absolutely through the roof, I think it's got to do with me spending a lot of time alone these days. I get so nervous, my heart pounds and I'm getting butterflies in my stomach. I'm procrastinating what I have to do. The logical part of myself says that I'm being ridiculous. I just want to calm down and take things into stride.

I usually deal with my anxiety with music, drawing \ writing, or talking with friends. Though, when it's really bad I kind of just have to let it run its course. Which unfortunately does mean I give in to procrastinating :\ if you can though, trying to grit your teeth and fight through it can sometimes work. When I do that I imagine my anxiety as being this separate thing I have to fight, so I'm not fighting myself but instead literally the anxiety. If that makes sense.

 

-----------------------------------------

 

I also just want to... vent here. Hopefully short.

I kind of wish I had never admitted to my crush I had a crush on him. Because it's turned out to complicate things a lot. It was all fine and dandy when he also had a crush on me, but then something changed and he got a boyfriend. Now they're broken up, I think, but it still leaves a bad taste in my mouth. Like, what did I do wrong? He told me one of the main reasons we couldn't date is because it would be a LDR, and yet his boyfriend and him had a LDR...

And this is all further complicated because he's basically my best friend, and I'm one of his. We've known each other for so many years. And we used to text every single day. Now.. I can't bring myself to text him back.

 

I want to. I want to so badly. I want to go on like everything is fine. But I'm so scared. And I can't even figure out why. I think it's because I still have a crush on him, and still hold some sort of... Anger about what happened. It felt like he betrayed me in a way, because we had all these plans for when I finally went to see him. And then when I did show up... He had a boyfriend and no longer had a crush on me apparently.

 

I feel really petty talking about this. I just want my friend back but this stupid anxiety and fear is keeping me back. And literally none of my friends know about this mostly because of everything that has happened. I know what needs to be done, I need to talk to him. But I don't know when I'm going to finally be able to. And it isn't fair by any means ever that I haven't responded.... -sigh- I unno. I just need like. Seven hundred cookies or something. .-.

[andromedae]

I usually deal with my anxiety with music, drawing \ writing, or talking with friends. Though, when it's really bad I kind of just have to let it run its course. Which unfortunately does mean I give in to procrastinating :\ if you can though, trying to grit your teeth and fight through it can sometimes work. When I do that I imagine my anxiety as being this separate thing I have to fight, so I'm not fighting myself but instead literally the anxiety. If that makes sense.

Thanks for your insight. I don't get anxiety nearly as often as I did before, or as strongly, but it's a hideous thing when it does happen.

 

If I can provide some support about your situation...exposing feelings is always a risk and a tough thing to do. However it's most definitely brave of you to do so, and if you had never told your crush about your feelings you might have always wondered about what might have been. I say this because last time I had feelings for someone I never did tell him myself and it did become a regret later on. Relationships aren't perfect, but maybe talking things out with your friend might help? You'll feel better in time, emotional distress tends to fade away eventually in my own experience.

[ladyvidel]

Just as a note for anyone in here who needs it, PM me if you want or need someone to talk to.

[Alegra]

I can't keep doing this. A day in emergency, five days in hospital, now ninth day in inpatient. over and over and over. Soon I really will have nothing left to lose, maybe I'm really just not compatible with this life.

/depresso expresso

[Evangeline]

I can't keep doing this. A day in emergency, five days in hospital, now ninth day in inpatient. over and over and over. Soon I really will have nothing left to lose, maybe I'm really just not compatible with this life.

/depresso expresso

Hey there. What are you in the hospital for? What's going on with life these days?

[Moonwick]

i think i just need a hug or something. it hasnt been going great at all today. like nothing too extreme has happened, just something that was pretty degrading and embarrassing. i will definitely get over it eventually, but right now i need some hugs and to post about it here :/

[Toyo]

i think i just need a hug or something. it hasnt been going great at all today. like nothing too extreme has happened, just something that was pretty degrading and embarrassing. i will definitely get over it eventually, but right now i need some hugs and to post about it here :/

HUGHUGHUGHUGHUG!

[Sunlexor]

Warning this post contains sensitive information.

 

 

 

I just got home from a really sad day. My family and I saw an injured deer on the side of the road and tryed to rescue it. We saw a police officer drive by and so we hailed him over to see if he could help. He told us the only thing he could do was euthanize it because it was injured and nothing could be done. We got in the car and started driving away and I heard the gunshot... That was horrible and I really could use a hug or something

Edited October 28, 2016 by Sunlexor

[Rousalka]

Warning this post contains sensitive information.

 

 

 

I just got home from a really sad day. My family and I saw an injured deer on the side of the road and tryed to rescue it. We saw a police officer drive by and so we hailed him over to see if he could help. He told us the only thing he could do was euthanize it because it was injured and nothing could be done. We got in the car and started driving away and I heard the gunshot... That was horrible and I really could use a hug or something

That's terrible ! but now the deer is no longer in pain and resting in peace, I'm really sorry about the sad experience, take a long hug cutie :c Now, relax, eat something you like and enjoy some calm music of your taste. This day was sad but let's finish it with some time to enjoy yourself so you're going to be ready for tomorrow. A new and hopefully good day. Take care sweetie and another long hug <3

[Sunlexor]

That's terrible ! but now the deer is no longer in pain and resting in peace, I'm really sorry about the sad experience, take a long hug cutie :c Now, relax, eat something you like and enjoy some calm music of your taste. This day was sad but let's finish it with some time to enjoy yourself so you're going to be ready for tomorrow. A new and hopefully good day. Take care sweetie and another long hug <3

Thank you so much for the advice, I did just that last night. Today was not much better because I witnessed an accident that could easily have been prevented. I hope things get better tomorrow I just have to look forward not back. Thankfully nobody was seriously injured in the accident I witnessed.

[SoulFox]

I had something typed out, but I'd feel too guilty about posting it. So, I guess just a cup of emotionally supportive tea would be nice? :')

[NoraNora]

Nobody cares. Why bother.

Everything is crumbling

My anxiety is worse

My art is just garbage

There's no way to improve to matter how much I practice, I do it every dang day

I just can't

Nobody wants to help

So why should I reach?

Sure, I catch people when they fall

But there is nobody to catch me.

I fall

And I crash

And nothing will change that. Not now, not ever.

I'm just

Done.

[Alegra]

Hey there. What are you in the hospital for? What's going on with life these days?

Hey, thanks for asking, I appreciate it. It's mostly my own fault, mental illness stuff. Lost the casual job I was barely getting too, dropped out from school, family don't want me home, lost all my pet birds in the span of a week, untreated mental illness I can't afford, physical health deteriorating, all this fun stuff.

 

Hope you're well x

[ladyvidel]

My boyfriend was supposed to do some online gaming with me to celebrate our anniversary (yes our anniversary is on Halloween) and he went away from keyboard and now may well have forgotten and fell asleep. Is it bad that I'm both sad and kinda pissed? I need a hug.

[BlueMint]

Hugs to all of you who need it <3 I know I do right now

 

Ill probably rant later and then ask for hugs lol. Hope all your guys' (?) day gets better!

[ladyvidel]

Hugs to all of you who need it <3 I know I do right now

 

Ill probably rant later and then ask for hugs lol. Hope all your guys' (?) day gets better!

^^*hugs*

 

[hedy]

It's the worst part of autumn, and the whole year tbh, when all the leaved have fallen and it gets dark at 5PM and it rains all the time and I just feel really empty. Ugh. Hugs to everyone here!

[BlueMint]

^^*hugs*

<3

 

 

-----

 

Gahhhh okay. Rant time. Ive been keeping this locked up for weeks or months. And this is only a smaaaalll part of my problems And I suck at explaining so sorry if I make no sense.

 

warning: dramaaaaa

 

Soooo I have (or had) this friend. Ive known her for about 6 years, during which we talked 24/7 and were best of friends. There were three of us in the group (Friend A, Friend B, and me).

 

Now, Friend A has always been... eh. You have to be really careful what you say around her cause she is sensitive. She can offend you all she wants and when you confront her about it, she will only say "get over yourself. its just a joke". But when you joke around with her (and Im talking jokes that are not even offensive), she gets all offended and hurt. URRG. And she has been throwing these little tantrums for years. *sigh* But Friend B and I have always put up with her cause "thats what friends do".

 

But lately, Friend B and I realized that that is NOT what friends do. Friend A constantly hurts us both and Friend B and I have decided enough is enough after a little event that happened a month ago. It was nothing too crazy, but these little jabs have gotten on our nerves.

 

------Event: A month or two ago, Friend A decided to ignore Friend B and I completely, no explanation given. For the past two weeks or so, she has attempted to talk to me as if nothing happened. Sure, I reply but not with nearly as much enthusiasm as a best friend should.

 

I spoke with Friend B about Friend A's little episode of "lets ignore my friends". Apparently, Friend A posted on social media that since she was struggling with college, she was going to stop talking to everyone. Apparently, that included her best friends. And now, that her grades were better, she was talking to people again, like she was trying to do with me.

 

Are you freakin kidding me. What are we to her? Just toys that she can just drop whenever she feels like it without an explanation? Nope.-----

 

Im starting to distance myself from Friend A. I have college to focus on and little petty fights are not what I want to spend my energy on. Friend A has noticed. She messaged me saying that she has blocked me from social media because she realizes I don't want to talk to her.

 

I just. Ughhhh I dont know. Im sad that it seems Im throwing this friendship away but I am just done with her offending me all the time. She always has to be better than us. And if Friend B and I are ever better at something than Friend A is, Friend A will make sure we know that she is still better than us at something else.

 

I realize how stupid this whole thing may seem to some of you. But its really just draining my energy >.<

 

Thanks to whoever read everything I had originally typed even more but ended up deleting a lot of it lol.

[GalacticNovie]

Sounds like Friend A is the kind of person you need to get out of your life ASAP. Don't feel bad for distancing yourself; if this continues it would probably be worse off for everyone in the long run. Instead, Pat yourself on the back for being brave enough to get out of that troublesome situation.

 

---

 

Giant wall of text inbound

 

I'm still in high school, so this might just seem like stereotypical teenage drama, but...

 

I'm lonely. And I don't mean romantically (I'm ase), just... with human interaction in general. My neighborhood is filled with elementary school kids so I can't get along with any of them, and my school is right next to a military base so kids come and go very quickly. Whenever I try to make a friend, by the time the semester's over, they're gone from my life. Or, more commonly, I make friends with someone only to find out they're a senior... you can see how that can be problematic.

My best friend, a kid who I've known since 4th grade, I only see on the bus and he's the first one to get off the bus. I don't know why, but he never responds to my texts anymore so I end up feeling even more alone. He may have his own reasons and I can respect that, but... I don't bother trying to make new friends anymore, since I know they're only going to be around for a few months.

 

So I turn to forums online so I can have someone to talk to. I love video games, but I hardly ever play them anymore - they just can't keep my attention anymore (same for books - I loved to read but now I can never finish one). But 90% of the time, whenever I'm on the computer, I'm talking to people online. Not video chats, just chatting on forums. I don't give away any personal information, I just find people with similar interests as mine and spend hours talking to them since I don't have/can't keep any friends in real life. My dad absolutely hates me being on the computer. He sees me on the computer for hours on end, and he takes away my laptop often. He doesn't know why I'm so attached to the Internet, but quite frankly I'm almost certain he's bipolar so I'm afraid to tell him in fear of how he'll react. So very often, I don't have any friends at all, either in real life or online.

 

I can't turn to my family members for attention either - my mom's almost always stressed out over something so I leave her alone to give her some space to breathe, I've already stated I'm scared around my dad, and it feels like my little brother actively avoids me; whenever I invite him to play a game with me, he always turns me down and goes over to see what dad's doing instead.

 

My self esteem is virtually nonexistent. I'm afraid that even though my dream is to enter the video game industry, I'll probably just end up in a dead end job at a retail store and work there until I die. I often feel like all I'm good for is doing chores and getting good grades - but I'm expected to do those anyway. And the latter isn't going very well - I haven't really been trying in school anymore - I've been having trouble memorizing stuff and forget things easily, so regardless of how much I study, I don't feel like I'm getting anywhere. Not even the threat of not being able to get a game I've been excited for if I don't pull my grade up has been encouraging me to do better. It all just feels futile.

 

The few games I play nowadays are adoptable sites like this one, where I don't have to exert a lot of energy (I feel drained often), I can play at my own pace and I feel like I have goals to work toward to, however small (so I don't lose interest). So whenever I fail at achieving these goals (zombies), I get really irritable. I just want to feel like I can actually achieve something, rather than hammer it in that I can't do anything right.

 

TL;DR: I'm a lonely, insecure loser who relies on the internet an unhealthy amount in a feeble attempt to feel better about myself which usually backfires. I probably need help.