Emotional Support

[emrelda]

Have you tried filing a complaint with the police?

I know, in my neighborhood at least, that after a certain time...you have to be more quiet and courteous.

Oh, this might be an option. How do you go about it? When I look online at my city's police department they only have a law enforcement conduct complaint form (for if you believe an officer didn't handle something properly) and tell us that any other form of complaint should be handled on the phone. When I call the police department they give me the option of either sending someone out to the neighbor's house or actually setting up a court hearing of some kind, which I don't really want to deal with because I can't collect sufficient evidence without getting really creepy and stalker-ish.

[gigglymonkey12]

Oh, this might be an option. How do you go about it? When I look online at my city's police department they only have a law enforcement conduct complaint form (for if you believe an officer didn't handle something properly) and tell us that any other form of complaint should be handled on the phone. When I call the police department they give me the option of either sending someone out to the neighbor's house or actually setting up a court hearing of some kind, which I don't really want to deal with because I can't collect sufficient evidence without getting really creepy and stalker-ish.

http://thelawdictionary.org/article/how-to...oise-complaint/

 

I don't know how much it will help, but if they're making noise till 1AM for a whole week...then I'm sure the police will be able to ticket them....and hopefully getting a ticket will stop them.

I googled the cost of a noise complaint ticket and let's just say...I don't want to pay that fine.

The first time is $200/250, but the 2nd ticket goes up to $500.

[emrelda]

http://thelawdictionary.org/article/how-to...oise-complaint/

 

I don't know how much it will help, but if they're making noise till 1AM for a whole week...then I'm sure the police will be able to ticket them....and hopefully getting a ticket will stop them.

I googled the cost of a noise complaint ticket and let's just say...I don't want to pay that fine.

The first time is $200/250, but the 2nd ticket goes up to $500.

Oh thank you so much! I will absolutely look into this--it looks like I might be able to make some progress!

[gigglymonkey12]

Oh thank you so much! I will absolutely look into this--it looks like I might be able to make some progress!

Good luck

Hopefully they keep it down so you can get your much needed sleep.

[emrelda]

I'm tired.  I'm exhausted, even.  It's been... what, a week since my other post?  Two?  I don't know anymore, really.  I lost track of my days when the painkillers ran out.

 

I've been in pain off and on for seven years.  I've missed way too many happy events.  My life effectively went on hold the day the doctors finally shrugged and said "well gee, we can't find anything".

 

And somehow, I'm still not "sick enough" to be accepted for disability...?

I can't tell you how disheartening it is to me to have an unresolved medical issue that doctors just shrug at. I went through a similar situation (although to a much lesser extent than yours) and after expensive surgery and medicines, the situation has really not improved at all.

 

Anyway, I just say all of that because you're not alone in the frustration at the limits of modern medicine. It makes me wish to live in the future when people can look back on today and think "how did anyone survive with such primitive medicine?" It's just such a hopeless, and helpless, feeling to know you're pretty much on your own. I won't pretend to know just how awful your situation must be, but I feel for you, truly.

 

Unfortunately I'm not the best when it comes to giving encouraging words but I watched an incredible video today by the lovely Kandee Johnson, who talked about how "you don't know how strong you are until being strong is the only option." Considering your symptoms I imagine being strong is doubly difficult when you're already exhausted.

 

This video doesn't have cussing in it, which is surprising for youtube lol

 

I hope that you have emotional support outside of DC too, because you're worth it. Nobody should have to battle things like this alone and everyone deserves love and support. I admire your ability to talk about this kind of thing with "strangers" on the internet. You've come this far despite everything about your illness, so I'd say that even when you don't feel like it, you're a pretty strong person.

 

P.S. kind of off-topic but did you draw your avatar? I saw in one of your earlier posts that you draw and I think it's absolutely lovely! You have a wonderful drawing style and oh my goodness that dapper Rowlet on your tumblr is SO. CUTE.

[kourabiedes]

I can't tell you how disheartening it is to me to have an unresolved medical issue that doctors just shrug at. I went through a similar situation (although to a much lesser extent than yours) and after expensive surgery and medicines, the situation has really not improved at all.

 

Anyway, I just say all of that because you're not alone in the frustration at the limits of modern medicine. It makes me wish to live in the future when people can look back on today and think "how did anyone survive with such primitive medicine?" It's just such a hopeless, and helpless, feeling to know you're pretty much on your own. I won't pretend to know just how awful your situation must be, but I feel for you, truly.

 

Unfortunately I'm not the best when it comes to giving encouraging words but I watched an incredible video today by the lovely Kandee Johnson, who talked about how "you don't know how strong you are until being strong is the only option." Considering your symptoms I imagine being strong is doubly difficult when you're already exhausted.

 

This video doesn't have cussing in it, which is surprising for youtube lol

 

I hope that you have emotional support outside of DC too, because you're worth it. Nobody should have to battle things like this alone and everyone deserves love and support. I admire your ability to talk about this kind of thing with "strangers" on the internet. You've come this far despite everything about your illness, so I'd say that even when you don't feel like it, you're a pretty strong person.

 

P.S. kind of off-topic but did you draw your avatar? I saw in one of your earlier posts that you draw and I think it's absolutely lovely! You have a wonderful drawing style and oh my goodness that dapper Rowlet on your tumblr is SO. CUTE.

Thank you. :> The one thing that always does help is knowing I'm not alone.

[Endyr_Serifi]

I shouldn't be so broken up about this. I knew this was going to happen. After I cleaned my Betta fishes tank, he died a few days later. He was old, and he hadn't been acting right for weeks. I'm just... Sad he died. I thought cleaning his tank would help him make it....

Edited August 7, 2016 by Jsward322

[Moonlight_Eevee]

I just backslid into some serious depression. I can't walk anywhere, it'd take forever just to get anywhere and I napped at my brother last night cause he started complaining about how we'll never move. The only place I can go to without driving is a trail in the woods behind my house.

 

It's getting to the point where it's just like, "What is life? A cruel joke? I just want to scream my head off on how stupid a place where I live." My dad and mom wants me to make some friends, but it's hard due to the fact I always end up driving, and besides, it'll take forever to get to where I'm going from where I live.

 

I had enough of Louisiana, I'm so sick of it. I feel a mixture of crying and anger inside me that I don't know what to do

[kourabiedes]

Could I just... get a hug? I'm sitting in the ER with an unknown mass in my gut and it hurts. ><

[Obscure_Trash]

Could I just... get a hug? I'm sitting in the ER with an unknown mass in my gut and it hurts. ><

*HUGS* I hope it all turns out okay. Good luck. <3

[Imzadi]

Could I just... get a hug? I'm sitting in the ER with an unknown mass in my gut and it hurts. ><

Hugs on the way, and all my hopes that it is nothing serious

[Moonwick]

Could I just... get a hug? I'm sitting in the ER with an unknown mass in my gut and it hurts. ><

D: Praying that it isn't something serious. *hughughughug*

[Vrack]

Could I just... get a hug? I'm sitting in the ER with an unknown mass in my gut and it hurts. ><

༼ つ ◕_◕ ༽つ

[DragonKami]

I just backslid into some serious depression. I can't walk anywhere, it'd take forever just to get anywhere and I napped at my brother last night cause he started complaining about how we'll never move. The only place I can go to without driving is a trail in the woods behind my house.

 

It's getting to the point where it's just like, "What is life? A cruel joke? I just want to scream my head off on how stupid a place where I live." My dad and mom wants me to make some friends, but it's hard due to the fact I always end up driving, and besides, it'll take forever to get to where I'm going from where I live.

 

I had enough of Louisiana, I'm so sick of it. I feel a mixture of crying and anger inside me that I don't know what to do

Yea Raptor, I'd have to agree with you on that, Louisiana does really, suck.

 

If possible, I recommend that you bide your time, get a steady income, and move from there, to somewhere close, but far away, like Texas.

 

I know this may sound dumb, but it just may help you. Have you heard about that knew app that everyone is in a craze about? Pokemon GO, You don't need to drive to play it and it would help you get out and make new friends.

[Earth Gurl]

I'm supposed to be in this great spot in my life right now, but I just feel like a huge waste of space and a huge disappointment to my parents. I also feel like I'm ruining my new relationship with my attitude and constant emotional turmoil.

 

Today, I had a mutual friend attack my roommate publicly on Facebook. She attacked one of the sweetest and shiest people I know, who proceeded to cry in her car about it, so I outright commented on the status, defending my roommate. I received a ton of backlash for what I said (I didn't swear at her, I just pointed out that it was childish to bring the situation into the public), but I don't understand why my roommate was attacked for no reason. Also this week: A speeding ticket, my car broke down, our microwave broke, and other various issues. So I splurged a little bit and ordered a meal at home since I was unable to drive anywhere and we were out of food. Suddenly I get a call from my father yelling at me that I spent money on food. So now I'm laying in bed crying feeling stupid and worthless because I can't go anywhere.

 

I also hate the person I've become because I've had to step up for both me and my roommate so that people don't walk all over us. This makes me look cold and mean, but I really don't like it when people think I'm like that. I'm really not. I don't like confrontation. I hurt inside too, but sometimes I feel like I can't show it because I'm not allowed to feel this way.

 

I just need a hug and I'm scared to ask my new boyfriend to come help. He's already helped me so much by driving me to campus today, and I feel so bad about it. I cried on the phone with my dad and he hung up on me. So here I am.

[spookyjia]

I'm supposed to be in this great spot in my life right now, but I just feel like a huge waste of space and a huge disappointment to my parents. I also feel like I'm ruining my new relationship with my attitude and constant emotional turmoil.

 

Today, I had a mutual friend attack my roommate publicly on Facebook. She attacked one of the sweetest and shiest people I know, who proceeded to cry in her car about it, so I outright commented on the status, defending my roommate. I received a ton of backlash for what I said (I didn't swear at her, I just pointed out that it was childish to bring the situation into the public), but I don't understand why my roommate was attacked for no reason. Also this week: A speeding ticket, my car broke down, our microwave broke, and other various issues. So I splurged a little bit and ordered a meal at home since I was unable to drive anywhere and we were out of food. Suddenly I get a call from my father yelling at me that I spent money on food. So now I'm laying in bed crying feeling stupid and worthless because I can't go anywhere.

 

I also hate the person I've become because I've had to step up for both me and my roommate so that people don't walk all over us. This makes me look cold and mean, but I really don't like it when people think I'm like that. I'm really not. I don't like confrontation. I hurt inside too, but sometimes I feel like I can't show it because I'm not allowed to feel this way.

 

I just need a hug and I'm scared to ask my new boyfriend to come help. He's already helped me so much by driving me to campus today, and I feel so bad about it. I cried on the phone with my dad and he hung up on me. So here I am.

I'm so sorry, friend. You are definitely not a huge waste of space. We all have hard times, I am in a really rough spot as well, but know you are not alone.

 

The best thing to do for cyber-bully type things is to not respond. If you do, they will think they are getting in your head. I just let those kinds of people alone. But I know 100% know where you are coming from. Some people are just mean like that for no reason. It's really hard, especially if it is another friend.

 

As for the speeding ticket and other things, sometimes it seems like life is out to get us. I'm pretty sure it isn't, and when things like that happen to me, I try and just "escape" from the drama and bad moments of life. Usually I do something that I enjoy, like watching some Netflix and playing the ukulele by my window, or listening to my favorite band. Sometimes if I need to just calm myself down and get away for an hour or two I just do those kinda of things, and it makes me feel a lot better. But know that, it will get better.

 

Maybe go to your roommate and hang with her, (she seems super sweet ) and just be with each other, and comfort each other. A lot of times when the rest of the world is being sucky, I just talk about it to my best friend, and it's so great to be around someone who supports you and loves you.

 

Those are just some things to do when I feel horrible, and I hope it helps. I also hope you feel better *sends a thousand virtual hugs* -Jay

[Moonlight_Eevee]

I'm supposed to be in this great spot in my life right now, but I just feel like a huge waste of space and a huge disappointment to my parents. I also feel like I'm ruining my new relationship with my attitude and constant emotional turmoil.

 

Today, I had a mutual friend attack my roommate publicly on Facebook. She attacked one of the sweetest and shiest people I know, who proceeded to cry in her car about it, so I outright commented on the status, defending my roommate. I received a ton of backlash for what I said (I didn't swear at her, I just pointed out that it was childish to bring the situation into the public), but I don't understand why my roommate was attacked for no reason. Also this week: A speeding ticket, my car broke down, our microwave broke, and other various issues. So I splurged a little bit and ordered a meal at home since I was unable to drive anywhere and we were out of food. Suddenly I get a call from my father yelling at me that I spent money on food. So now I'm laying in bed crying feeling stupid and worthless because I can't go anywhere.

 

I also hate the person I've become because I've had to step up for both me and my roommate so that people don't walk all over us. This makes me look cold and mean, but I really don't like it when people think I'm like that. I'm really not. I don't like confrontation. I hurt inside too, but sometimes I feel like I can't show it because I'm not allowed to feel this way.

 

I just need a hug and I'm scared to ask my new boyfriend to come help. He's already helped me so much by driving me to campus today, and I feel so bad about it. I cried on the phone with my dad and he hung up on me. So here I am.

*hugs* I don't know how hard it must be for you, but you did the right thing for your roommate. If that friend hates your guts, stop hanging out with them if they continue to press the issue.

 

Also, your father has no right to yell at you (unless you used some of his money) but he has to understand you're still young. You're going to make mistakes. It'd be a hard lesson for you, but still.

 

I really am sorry about your car. Heaven knows mine could break down any second if you need someone to talk to, I'm willing to be here

 

Edit: I got 'd

Edited August 19, 2016 by Raptor of Dragons

[Endyr_Serifi]

In all honesty, this is the only place I feel confident enough to vent.

 

 

School started and my self esteem has dropped again. Not only in my appearance, but my art. (Profile picture is not a good example it's old.) it just seems like everyone is one step ahead of me, and I don't know how to make myself feel better. I was always praised for being above my grade level but all of the sudden, I feel so average and not the humbling kind either.

 

 

My state test scores came in aswell and I flunked the essay portion of it. They even said I couldn't f'ing write correctly. I'm scattered with my ideas too, but I can't help that when I have no time to just plan out what to talk about in an essay of a topic and style (argumentative) that I completely suck at.

 

 

I just feel my entire academic praise slipping from me, and that's basically the only complement I've ever gotten from other people that I don't even know.

 

Also, maybe the fact I just realized I'm going to live my life like an average joe struck me so hard it hurts too.

[Obscure_Trash]

I shouldn't be so broken up about this. I knew this was going to happen. After I cleaned my Betta fishes tank, he died a few days later. He was old, and he hadn't been acting right for weeks. I'm just... Sad he died. I thought cleaning his tank would help him make it....

It sounds like you were a loving, responsible, and caring Betta owner. I'm sorry for your loss.

 

I just backslid into some serious depression. I can't walk anywhere, it'd take forever just to get anywhere and I napped at my brother last night cause he started complaining about how we'll never move. The only place I can go to without driving is a trail in the woods behind my house.

 

It's getting to the point where it's just like, "What is life? A cruel joke? I just want to scream my head off on how stupid a place where I live." My dad and mom wants me to make some friends, but it's hard due to the fact I always end up driving, and besides, it'll take forever to get to where I'm going from where I live.

 

I had enough of Louisiana, I'm so sick of it. I feel a mixture of crying and anger inside me that I don't know what to do

You have friends here, donchya? We count. =)

 

And the good news is, you don't have to live in Louisiana forever. Eventually, you'll be able to move out and have your own adventures. =)

[Obscure_Trash]

I'm supposed to be in this great spot in my life right now, but I just feel like a huge waste of space and a huge disappointment to my parents. I also feel like I'm ruining my new relationship with my attitude and constant emotional turmoil.

 

Today, I had a mutual friend attack my roommate publicly on Facebook. She attacked one of the sweetest and shiest people I know, who proceeded to cry in her car about it, so I outright commented on the status, defending my roommate. I received a ton of backlash for what I said (I didn't swear at her, I just pointed out that it was childish to bring the situation into the public), but I don't understand why my roommate was attacked for no reason. Also this week: A speeding ticket, my car broke down, our microwave broke, and other various issues. So I splurged a little bit and ordered a meal at home since I was unable to drive anywhere and we were out of food. Suddenly I get a call from my father yelling at me that I spent money on food. So now I'm laying in bed crying feeling stupid and worthless because I can't go anywhere.

 

I also hate the person I've become because I've had to step up for both me and my roommate so that people don't walk all over us. This makes me look cold and mean, but I really don't like it when people think I'm like that. I'm really not. I don't like confrontation. I hurt inside too, but sometimes I feel like I can't show it because I'm not allowed to feel this way.

 

I just need a hug and I'm scared to ask my new boyfriend to come help. He's already helped me so much by driving me to campus today, and I feel so bad about it. I cried on the phone with my dad and he hung up on me. So here I am.

Sometimes life just really piles it on, doesn't it? This isn't your fault, and you are allowed to feel however you feel. Your feelings and your hurt are valid. And it sounds like you are handling it so well. Standing up for yourself and others doesn't make you cold or mean. At all. In the slightest. Your roommate is lucky to have you, and I bet they're super gracious for what you do.

 

Maybe it's time to do a cleaning of some facebook "friends". There are defriend and block options for a reason. Don't be afraid to use them, especially if people are being jerks or you just can't handle it. You shouldn't have to fight the whole world at once. It was childish and pretty damn manipulative to bring a private situation into public and blow it up like that.

 

And you deserve to treat yourself. Buying yourself food shouldn't even count for that. You need food to survive. You did what you had to. Even though it may be hard on your finances, sometimes you have to make that choice.

 

Your boyfriend should be there to support you. I was/am privileged enough to have a car. Part of that privilege means that of course I will share it with important people in my life because not all of them are so lucky to have such an easy mode of transportation. And part of being friends - or any other important relationship - is being there for each other. Being the shoulder to lean on. Being that person to cry and rant to. Being there to support them. And you know that if the situation were reversed, the other person would do the same for you. You're going through a tough time right now. If I were your friend or your boyfriend, I would want to be there for you and help you, even if it just meant holding your hand or hugging you while you cried. Call your boyfriend. Text him, message him, whatever. Tell him you don't want to be alone right now. It is okay to ask for help.

 

*hugs* And I feel it bears repeating, you are allowed to feel how you feel. Your feelings are important and valid. *hugs*

 

In all honesty, this is the only place I feel confident enough to vent.

 

 

School started and my self esteem has dropped again. Not only in my appearance, but my art. (Profile picture is not a good example it's old.) it just seems like everyone is one step ahead of me, and I don't know how to make myself feel better. I was always praised for being above my grade level but all of the sudden, I feel so average and not the humbling kind either.

 

 

My state test scores came in aswell and I flunked the essay portion of it. They even said I couldn't f'ing write correctly. I'm scattered with my ideas too, but I can't help that when I have no time to just plan out what to talk about in an essay of a topic and style (argumentative) that I completely suck at.

 

 

I just feel my entire academic praise slipping from me, and that's basically the only complement I've ever gotten from other people that I don't even know.

 

Also, maybe the fact I just realized I'm going to live my life like an average joe struck me so hard it hurts too.

Does your school have a counselor? I think it would be worth it to you and approach them about how you're feeling. As long as you're not feeling suicidal or anything similar, the counselor is not obligated to report what you say to your parents, so they can simply be an objective third party for you to talk to and help figure out where to go next.

 

Now, for the essay. Are you talking about some standardized test? Those things are worthless. They are unnecessarily stressful. They test only a very specific type of intelligence. They are a ridiculous waste of time and money. So you failed. So what? Like you said, it's hard to write well when you have no time to plan, not to mention a topic you didn't pick and likely aren't interested in. Sometimes in work or school you are given tight deadlines, but hopefully you will end up studying and then in a job for something you enjoy. The topics will be easier to write about and even on a tight deadlines, it's rarely going to be just half an hour. You'll have time to outline and draft and edit and re-write. That test means next to nothing.

 

Do you enjoy making art? It really doesn't matter what everyone else is doing. Do you enjoy your art? Then keep creating! Keep practicing! Keep studying! Move at your own pace. That is completely fine. Most school systems are set up in very non-conducive ways to actually helping form young minds. They enforce deadlines that simply some can't keep up with. That doesn't make those who can't keep up with them wrong or bad. It just means they need more time. So keep practicing. But do it because you enjoy it, not because you think you should be at a certain level. Perhaps try some different art styles and take a break from whatever you traditionally do.

 

But what you're feeling is not uncommon at all. We talk about it a lot on tumblr, how many of us were "young and gifted/perfectionists/quick studies" but the pressure put on us for that caused a lot of anxiety and completely stalled our progress, made us afraid to try things, turned us into procrastinators, etc. If there isn't already, I'm sure this experience will have a name soon. So just know that a grade isn't the end all be all of anything. That you don't have to be perfect and wonderful and excellent at everything. That you are allowed to learn at your own pace, even if that pace is slower than you would like. That what is important is that you enjoy what you do, not that others compliment you because you learn it quicker than others.

 

Take some time to focus on learning how to enjoy what you're doing. Take some time to learn that it's okay to be average - or even below average. You're certainly not alone in it - we call it average for a reason. ;3

 

*hugs*

[Earth Gurl]

I'm so sorry, friend. You are definitely not a huge waste of space. We all have hard times, I am in a really rough spot as well, but know you are not alone.

 

The best thing to do for cyber-bully type things is to not respond. If you do, they will think they are getting in your head. I just let those kinds of people alone. But I know 100% know where you are coming from. Some people are just mean like that for no reason. It's really hard, especially if it is another friend.

 

As for the speeding ticket and other things, sometimes it seems like life is out to get us. I'm pretty sure it isn't, and when things like that happen to me, I try and just "escape" from the drama and bad moments of life. Usually I do something that I enjoy, like watching some Netflix and playing the ukulele by my window, or listening to my favorite band. Sometimes if I need to just calm myself down and get away for an hour or two I just do those kinda of things, and it makes me feel a lot better. But know that, it will get better.

 

Maybe go to your roommate and hang with her, (she seems super sweet  ) and just be with each other, and comfort each other. A lot of times when the rest of the world is being sucky, I just talk about it to my best friend, and it's so great to be around someone who supports you and loves you.

 

Those are just some things to do when I feel horrible, and I hope it helps. I also hope you feel better *sends a thousand virtual hugs*   -Jay

 

Yeah, I'm trying not to unfriend her on Facebook quite yet since we invited her to an event at our house and there's a high likelihood that she will sabotage the whole thing. But thank you, I will very soon start ignoring her since I know she'll probably post a status about me. I'd rather her do that than my roommate anyway. We hung out all last night and ate dinner together and watched a movie so it was nice. She baked banana bread and it was so good. *hugs*

 

*hugs* I don't know how hard it must be for you, but you did the right thing for your roommate. If that friend hates your guts, stop hanging out with them if they continue to press the issue.

 

Also, your father has no right to yell at you (unless you used some of his money) but he has to understand you're still young. You're going to make mistakes. It'd be a hard lesson for you, but still.

 

I really am sorry about your car. Heaven knows mine could break down any second if you need someone to talk to, I'm willing to be here

 

Edit: I got  'd

 

*hugs* Thank you, I just don't like to see my friends hurt AT ALL. It makes me crazy.

 

But yeah, he absolutely had the right to yell at me, it just caught me off guard. My parents handle my food (because they're amazing). But I'm on meal plan at my university and couldn't get to campus due to my car's being at the shop. I should have planned ahead and bought food at the store, but I didn't realize my car was going to have to be towed. I've been trying to alleviate my parents' financial burden on me recently. A year ago I got a job and they gave me an allowance for fees and rent. I got a scholarship that pays 100% of my tuition (thanks Georgia), and I've been paying for frivolous things and items for my house with my job. I'm hoping that eventually I'll be on my own financially, but it's difficult right now with just a part time job and full time student status. I also do a sport because my mom thought it was important to stay active.

 

My parents are fantastic, but they've always had trouble dealing with my mental health and emotional issues that stem from years of bulling and 3 years of abusive relationship with a guy. Every time I'd ask for a therapist, my dad would go nuts. They don't think GAD exists, which can be rough and scary for me because I'm a really strong person emotionally, but sometimes I CAN'T control panic attacks. I just try my best to push through everything so that I don't disappoint them.

 

Sometimes life just really piles it on, doesn't it? This isn't your fault, and you are allowed to feel however you feel. Your feelings and your hurt are valid. And it sounds like you are handling it so well. Standing up for yourself and others doesn't make you cold or mean. At all. In the slightest. Your roommate is lucky to have you, and I bet they're super gracious for what you do.

 

Maybe it's time to do a cleaning of some facebook "friends". There are defriend and block options for a reason. Don't be afraid to use them, especially if people are being jerks or you just can't handle it. You shouldn't have to fight the whole world at once. It was childish and pretty damn manipulative to bring a private situation into public and blow it up like that.

 

And you deserve to treat yourself. Buying yourself food shouldn't even count for that. You need food to survive. You did what you had to. Even though it may be hard on your finances, sometimes you have to make that choice.

 

Your boyfriend should be there to support you. I was/am privileged enough to have a car. Part of that privilege means that of course I will share it with important people in my life because not all of them are so lucky to have such an easy mode of transportation. And part of being friends - or any other important relationship - is being there for each other. Being the shoulder to lean on. Being that person to cry and rant to. Being there to support them. And you know that if the situation were reversed, the other person would do the same for you. You're going through a tough time right now. If I were your friend or your boyfriend, I would want to be there for you and help you, even if it just meant holding your hand or hugging you while you cried. Call your boyfriend. Text him, message him, whatever. Tell him you don't want to be alone right now. It is okay to ask for help.

 

*hugs* And I feel it bears repeating, you are allowed to feel how you feel. Your feelings are important and valid. *hugs*

 

Your advice is always so spot on, Sock. It just floored me that she would post it on a public social media account to slander someone who has never done anything to her.

 

And yeah, I just wanted cheese sticks, so I burst into tears on the phone with my dad and he hung up on me. I know he doesn't like to hear me cry. It just freaked me out because my mom told me "If you're hungry, I don't care, just eat and we'll pay for it, you have to eat." So I thought maybe it would be okay. My boyfriend is definitely being helpful even though he's a new boyfriend. He's a sweetheart to me. When I got my ticket, I texted him and he was at my house in 5 minutes to get me.

 

*hugs* Thank you, Sock.

[Toyo]

But yeah, he absolutely had the right to yell at me, it just caught me off guard. My parents handle my food (because they're amazing). But I'm on meal plan at my university and couldn't get to campus due to my car's being at the shop. I should have planned ahead and bought food at the store, but I didn't realize my car was going to have to be towed. I've been trying to alleviate my parents' financial burden on me recently. A year ago I got a job and they gave me an allowance for fees and rent. I got a scholarship that pays 100% of my tuition (thanks Georgia), and I've been paying for frivolous things and items for my house with my job. I'm hoping that eventually I'll be on my own financially, but it's difficult right now with just a part time job and full time student status. I also do a sport because my mom thought it was important to stay active.

Oh dear, I'm sorry you got yelled at for that. Like everyone else said, you didn't deserve that!

 

Especially since you seem to be so conscientious. An entitled jerky kid wouldn't even care that they spent their parent's money on anything (let alone food during a bad week!) and the yelling would probably just have rolled off their back. It is unfair that you have to suffer when you care so much, and try so hard to be financially responsible

 

Hugs!

[AngelKitty]

School started and my self esteem has dropped again. Not only in my appearance, but my art. (Profile picture is not a good example it's old.) it just seems like everyone is one step ahead of me, and I don't know how to make myself feel better. I was always praised for being above my grade level but all of the sudden, I feel so average and not the humbling kind either.

Ah, I know the feeling about art quite well.

 

The first step is to stop comparing your art to others' art so critically. One thing I've come to realize through the years is that people have different styles of drawing. This might seem obvious, but it's really important to remember because it affects our perception. Sometimes, I'll come to like someone else's style more than my own. Then, I tend to feel like that person is "better" at art than I am, even if objectively they aren't. In fact, they may be worse at certain techniques, but I still feel like it's "better" because I like the style they did it in.

 

And remember, too, that they might feel the same way about your art. Case in point: my best friend studied art in college, which means she went through numerous classes on drawing and shading. I studied biology. As a result, she is light-years beyond my own ability, and has had to help me learn certain techniques. Yet she still tells me periodically that she admires aspects of my work, such as how I draw hair. It seems bizarre that someone so much more skilled would admire something of mine, but there you go, it happens.

 

Also, never resign yourself to stagnation. It's fine (and normal) to not be THE BEST at everything, and you shouldn't beat yourself up for that, but keep trying to be the best YOU can be. Try new things. If there's something in particular that you're unhappy with in your drawing, work to improve it. Learning something new and adding a new skill to your repertoire takes time and effort but it always feels good to see the end result of that effort.

 

You could also try looking at art from years ago, and art from recently, and see how far you've come since you drew the earlier piece. Then remind yourself that you will come even further than that in another year or two!

 

In addition, taking a break from the usual to try something unusual can be a big help. When I'm stressed about art, I don't draw my usual subjects (people); I doodle animals, plants, cartoons, or complete nonsense. Try drawing something surreal if you normally draw realism. Try drawing a machine or a building if you normally draw natural or organic things. You'd be surprised what you can pick up just from doodling.

 

Last but definitely not least, it is completely okay to take breaks. If you find yourself getting frustrated and fatigued when you try to draw, stop. Keeping at it at that point won't help matters. Unless it's something you absolutely have to do for class, stop and let it sit for a day, or a week, or even a month if you have to. Your art supplies and unfinished drawings will be there waiting for you when you're ready to tackle them again.

 

I hope this helps a bit. Good luck with your art!

[Endyr_Serifi]

Thank you sock and angel.

 

Its just so hard for me to not beat up myself about any little mistake, because the closer and closer I feel like I'm getting to a C, I beat myself up more. My parents won't let me get C's. If I get a C I'm grounded from every electronic until the next report card. (Nine weeks) And just... That makes me panick. Badly.

 

And the fact I wasn't allowed into my favorite field of science, herpetology, (even though it's not a science credit at my highschool) because I was going to do both biology and herpetology in the same yea and that's not allowed now.

 

And I'm sorry if it seems like I'm complaining, it's just no one will actually ever take the time and listen to me vent, and as selfish as that sounds, I need to tell people about my problems so I can have support and stuff, since I haven't really had that.

 

But on the bright side, my cat won't stop meowing at my mom and following her around and that makes me laugh. And when we get enough money I'll be able to get another Betta.

[Shadlok]

(in advance, please ignore autocorrect errors that I may not notice.)

 

I have a beautiful daughter who is 9 weeks old, however, I had a lot of problems during the pregnancy. At approximately 6 weeks pregnant, i collapsed with stomach pain and was told it was a suspected ectopic pregnancy, fortunately it was just a kidney stone. I was then diagnosed early on with hyperemesis, because I was vomiting over 40 times a day. I was rushed into hospital repeatedly to be put into IV fluids because of the dehydration. After this, I was diagnosed with pre-eclampsia, and as soon as they realised that after a routine scan because my placenta wasnt functioning properly, i was admitted and going to be kept in until I had my little girl. I hated being kept in and was constantly on hourly obs, more medication than i care to remember, and 4 times a day i was put on the baby heartbeat monitor for two hour periods. The whole experience was a nightmare, but nothing prepared me for the crapstorm that was labor.

 

On the 14th July, my blood pressure became completely uncontrollable and doctors decided I had to be induced immediately, so I was taken down to the delivery suite, put on an arterial line to monitor my blood pressure constantly and given the pessary. What they discovered was that the "braxton hicks" I'd been having all day were actually contractions and I was in slow labor. Id been having regular pains for 15 hours and only dilated to one centimetre. I was taken down at about 11:30PM. However, throughout the next few hours, my blood pressure became critical at 231/119 (fluctuating up and down but only slightly), and so I was prepped for a category 1 emergency cesarean section. I don't remember much of that night apart from being taken in, being jerked around and then hearing my baby crying. She was born 5 weeks premature, weighing 4lb 5 at 7:43 on July 15th.

 

Then the worst part came. For the first 24 hours, I was still so I'll that I was kept in the delivery suite in the high dependency unit. All I got for the first day of her life was a single picture of her. I hadn't held her or seen her properly. When I was finally taken up the transitional care unit, I was happy to be with my little girl. Only, they told me that her blood sugars were constantly dipping and after having only a couple of hours with her, she was rushed off to the Neonatal intensive care unit. I could visit her whenever I wanted and I walked up and down from the third floor to the ground floor having only just had the operation the day before so I could sit with her, having to go back to get my painkillers and other medications so I was in constant agony (No rest for the wicked I suppose.) I was told that they had done tests and her haemoglobin count was far far too high. She had polycythemia which is a life threatening thickening of the blood treated with an exchange transfusion. they took out half of her blood and replaced it with saline to allow her blood to be able to run through her body properly, as before it was like sludge. It was so thick, they couldn't actually get it through a cannula properly and had to scoop it out. Finally, she came back up on the ward after recovering from the transfusion and I finally had skin to skin contact after almost a week of her being born.

 

She has since been a rather poorly baby, having got croup rather young, then being told she has suspected laryngomalacia which may need surgery in the future. She doesn't sleep well and she can only be comforted by myself. Her father left me the night I was told I might be ectopic, so I have no help from him or any contact with him at all, as he lives in WI and Im in England.

 

Now I have developed Post-Natal Depression and I feel like the worst mother in the world. I love my little girl to bits but sometimes I just feel like I hate her. Like she has ruined my life, and like I want to walk out and never come back. Or we will go for walks and I'll have horrible premonitions of a car mounting the curb and hitting the pram and I end up having panic attacks over the thoughts. I will always love her, but I just feel like such a failure, especially after everything I've gone through with her, how can I ever feel like I hate her? How could I look at her and feel so empty? The loneliness is so crippling and sometimes I really struggle to cope. Has anyone else experienced anything like this? What do I do now? I'm terrified of telling anyone around me how I feel because I don't want people to think I'm not good enough for my daughter, and why wouldn't they when I feel so inadequate sometimes? Am I just being selfish? What do I do?