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Sexual Orientation

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Fox News on Asexuality

 

Warning: Video may induce rage in decent people/those who know asexuals who have suffered for it.

 

Yes, we need to be recognized. 1% of the American population is like 3 million people who are told their sexuality "doesn't exist", that they're "disordered", that their is something "wrong" with them, they're "sick", they "just haven't met the right person because nobody could NOT want sex", or who are threatened with being "fixed" (read: raped).

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Asexual with romantic leanings toward homosexual. Most of the time, I am not attracted to anyone at all, but when I do have a period of attraction, it is most definitely always toward my own gender (male). I have never been attracted to women and even men VERY rarely get any response at all out of me. I have had boyfriends, but nothing ever amounted because I just was not sexually/romantically attracted to them, even though I DID very much like them as people. I wished I COULD reciprocate their sexual attraction, but no matter how hard I tried, I just couldn't. I feel nothing at all towards women, except as friends.

 

The boyfriends I had never understood why I couldn't feel what they wanted me to feel towards them and even accused me of being straight and just messing with them. I think Asexual is a very hard thing to be, especially if you just lose any interest in relationships when you're already in one that was going good.

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I'm straight, but I don't feel sexually attracted to men, I feel emotionally attracted to them. Like, most straight women talk about having sex with the men they are attracted to and I just want to have coffee and conversation. I like looking at handsome men, but not in that way. To quote an older show "When I say you're beautiful, I don't mean that in a sexual way. I mean it like a sunset is beautiful, birds in flight are beautiful." I don't know if this makes me Asexual. The way I feel love is through emotional attachment. I don't think I could have sex with someone. The thought of it is terrifying because I know i'd be forcing myself to do something for the other person. I wouldn't enjoy it and i'd hate myself afterwards. I don't want to be used like that. It makes me angry that sex is a thing because it complicates everything. I want a relationship, I just don't want one that involves sex. Holding Hands and kissing, maybe. But sex is out of the question for me. :|

 

Of course, not having a boyfriend makes everyone think i'm gay (because that's the only logical conclusion, right?). So, I guess i'm labeled regardless of what I do. :P

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There's a difference between sexual and romantic attraction, and if you're not sexually attracted to people that makes you asexual.

 

What you're describing sounds like hetero-romantic asexual to me.

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I'm going to assume you're talking to me, KageSora? I did look up a little on hetero-romantic asexual and it does seem to fit what i'm trying to describe. Thank you! ♥

Edited by MysticTiger

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Ah, sorry, thought I put @Mystic in there. Guess it's time I headed to bed if I can't do that properly. xd.png

 

You're welcome. :3

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Haha, no problem. I figured you meant me, I just wanted to make sure to mention something encase you were referring to someone else. XD

 

Also, been reading a little bit of hate about hetero-romantic and I don't know why the hate is there? Like, someone said Hetero-romantic doesn't exist because you can't love someone on emotions alone. That the sexual part of a relationship is the only thing that makes it different from being friends with someone. And that opinion really confuses me. Because when I think friends, I think "I like to hang out with you and i'm sad to see you go but we'll hang out again another time" and when I think of someone that could be my significant other, I think "I want to spend every moment of the rest of my life with you". It seems to me like emotions should play a part in a normal heterosexual relationship too. It baffles me.

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Mostly I figure the hate stems from people not understanding things.

 

I mean, people say asexuality doesn't exist because you can't NOT want sex.

 

Homosexuality is a "choice" because some heterosexual people don't understand being attracted to somebody of the same sex.

 

 

I mean, people have a hard enough time grasping the concept of homosexuality and bisexuality, much less the idea of other sexualities/lack of sexuality, or the concept of romantic, sensual, and sexual attraction being different, and that's to say nothing of the idea of sexuality being fluid and changing over time for some people.

 

 

Human sexuality is a very complex thing. So, the idea of there being a separate romantic idea just goes right over people's heads.

 

Most people are the same sexuality and romantic orientation. But not everybody.

 

I think part of the problem, too, is that our culture in the US at least IS very sexualized--people assume that sex is a key part of a relationship, and that without sex you're just friends.

 

I guess you could try explaining a romantic but asexual relationship as the emotional equivalent of "sex buddies". You're emotionally intimate but not sexually intimate.

 

 

I mean, sexual relations can do a lot for a relationship, provided both parties are alright with it. But there is an emotional aspect to most relationships that goes beyond friendship that helps keep them together, I think. And I think a lot of people forget that when they're so busy focusing on "BUT I DON'T UNDERSTAND THIS HOW CAN THAT BE POSSIBLE"...

 

 

 

tl;dr version: It's likely a case of "I don't understand it, therefore it's not possible."

Edited by KageSora

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Of course, not having a boyfriend makes everyone think i'm gay (because that's the only logical conclusion, right?). So, I guess i'm labeled regardless of what I do. tongue.gif

Ahahaha. Exactly me x3 I'm straight, the whole real normal deal (lol), but I stand up for whatever other people are. Completely cant stand those against some things; it goes along with the idea of Not understanding/Religion says its not right (in one verse, where there's over xxx verses that tell you to love no matter what...) > means it isnt right and gross or whatever.

I have friends of all sorts of sexualities.. And I love all of them for who they are <3

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^^^ xd.pngxd.pngxd.png that's all i can say to thatXD

 

I'm completely heterosexual. I like men, guys, but i have plenty of 'gay' friends, one of my friends is a lesbian and she hits on me a lot, but it's more of a joke type of thing.

I also have a pansexual friend, and he is AMAZING.

I don't think that any sexual preferences matter or should be judged. I'm ashamed to say that i did once judge them when i was younger. i never understood why a man could like a man..

 

I love my friends wub.gif no matter who they like!

Edited by IcarusTheDragon

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Sock, I literally lol'd at that picture. Perfect. xd.png

 

Y'know, I consider myself bisexual, since there are men and women I find attractive... but I'm starting to wonder what 'attractive' really is. The hottest people I can think of I consider hot just because the idea of them being in a sexual situation will slightly not bore me. The idea that people can get 'excited' just looking at someone baffles me.

 

Though, then again, despite being the teenager, I have the absolute lowest sex drive in the family... even less than my grandma and parents so there's that. But can anyone really describe what being sexually attracted is like so I actually know what all the fuss is about? Or would that not be allowed on this forum?

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As a Heteroromantic (thank you again, KageSora!) , I don't know what the fuss about sexual attraction is about at all. I can't even fathom how it would be more important to a relationship then emotionally attractive/emotional bonds. I just can't. It's strange to think that some people think sexual attraction is the ONLY part of a relationship. It's rather frustrating. I just... ASDFGHJKIL! X_X

 

Everything makes more sense now that I know i'm a Heteroromantic, though. Although, I don't agree that Heteroromantics are gay. That doesn't make any sense to me. Gay would imply that I am attracted to girls, but i'm not. The internet's opinion on labeling is weird.

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Though, then again, despite being the teenager, I have the absolute lowest sex drive in the family... even less than my grandma and parents so there's that. But can anyone really describe what being sexually attracted is like so I actually know what all the fuss is about? Or would that not be allowed on this forum?

There was actually a really good thread on the Asexual forums, but I think it's been lost to time. If I can post it I'll leave it here. The problem with defining what it is is that asexual people lack it and thus can't describe it, and it's so normal to sexual people that they don't even notice it, so they can't describe it. Keep in mind that sexual attraction and sex drive are completely different. I'd head to Aven if you want to discuss and learn the differences among the terms. It's a site directed at asexuals, but it has a good amount of info for everyone.

 

enter mini rant

 

From what I've read it's a biological response that can't be controlled.

If you have gone through your teen years and felt completely baffled by the over sexual thoughts of your peers or almost humored by all the sex ed going around, then there's a good chance you went through what I did. It gets to the point were you start thinking there's something wrong with you or even inhuman. So Fox News (getting more ridiculous by the day) is wrong in that it's made up. They are right in that the word "asexual" used as a label is made up. All words are made up and all words are labels. We only agree that these labels mean this or that and begin using it as such. Words and labels help us define our world and be able to converse about things with another person.

 

Back in grade school, my Spanish teacher wanted to learn a particular phrase in every language to help her develop that language: "What is this?". She would be learning how to label and name each item she sees in a different language.

 

So something along the lines of a child asking their parent something personal:

The child would mention they feel they are bisexual, being sexual attracted to both men and women.

Most parents would respond with the "you're too young to know" but others would respond "you are who you are, there's no need to label yourself". So a second question would be "am I human?" with the logical response of the parent would be to confirm that. But there isn't a need to label oneself as human so that child can be anything they want. But being human is a fact, yet it's still in a sense, a label. So when will such things as asexuality, pansexuality, etc. stop being called labels and start being called fact? It takes a lot of agreement to make it so. All I can say is that Fox isn't helping with this much by making things into a joke and relating it to sock monkey hats.

 

mini rant over.

 

EDIT: Out of curiosity, I looked up the percentage of wheelchair users an it's around 2-1% and in some cases is less than one percent. One and two are such tiny numbers, so should we recognize people who are in wheelchairs Fox? Oh wait, that's something you can see, so it matters, right?

Edited by Wookieinmashoo

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Thanks for the advice, I'll check it out. :>

 

I guess I see some women (and sometimes men) and think "oh they're hot" but I... do not want to do anything with them aside from really just plain admiring how they look. I mean, if I had to have sex with them, I guess I wouldn't really protest, but I wouldn't be all for it, either.

 

This is why my "porn" folder is just a folder with headshots of various, fully-clothed people.

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As a Heteroromantic (thank you again, KageSora!) , I don't know what the fuss about sexual attraction is about at all. I can't even fathom how it would be more important to a relationship then emotionally attractive/emotional bonds. I just can't. It's strange to think that some people think sexual attraction is the ONLY part of a relationship. It's rather frustrating. I just... ASDFGHJKIL! X_X

 

Everything makes more sense now that I know i'm a Heteroromantic, though. Although, I don't agree that Heteroromantics are gay. That doesn't make any sense to me. Gay would imply that I am attracted to girls, but i'm not. The internet's opinion on labeling is weird.

Yeah, if you were attracted to girls then you'd be homoromantic, the hetero- part is what means you like men. sleep.gif'

 

But I suppose the idea of lacking sexual attraction just goes right over the heads of a lot of sexual people. At the very least they can understand homo/bi/pan/anything but asexuality from the sexual part even if they don't get the preferred partner. But the idea of no sex? Or, at least, no sexual attraction?

 

 

Keep in mind that sexual attraction and sex drive are completely different.

Can you explain more on this? I've heard it before, and I know it's true, but can you elaborate? It still confuses me. xd.png

 

I guess I see some women (and sometimes men) and think "oh they're hot" but I... do not want to do anything with them aside from really just plain admiring how they look. I mean, if I had to have sex with them, I guess I wouldn't really protest, but I wouldn't be all for it, either.

 

This is why my "porn" folder is just a folder with headshots of various, fully-clothed people.

I get that. I can admire somebody who is attractive. I can find them very appealing, I can think of them as eye candy, I can even thing that I wouldn't mind being somewhat physical with them, perhaps hugging them, holding hands, or even a little bit more in some cases. But the idea of actually having sex with them is just... Meh. I mean, I'm not sexually repulsed. I'm open to the idea because it doesn't disgust me but it's not something I want or need, and there's no real attraction. It's not that I'm "broken", I can still get turned on and all that. I just... Don't have an attraction of the sexual kind to others.

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Glad people enjoy the bingo. =p

 

Can you explain more on this? I've heard it before, and I know it's true, but can you elaborate? It still confuses me.

 

Lesse if I can help out:

Sexual attraction is when you feel a desire to do sexual things with someone.

Sex drive is simply the desire to preform sexual acts (bad wording) but not with someone. This basically means they feel a desire to or enjoy masturbating.

 

Speaking in really simple terms. x3

 

The AVEN Lexicon says it really well:

Sex drive/libido

and for interests sake: Attraction

Edited by SockPuppet Strangler

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I get that.  I can admire somebody who is attractive.  I can find them very appealing, I can think of them as eye candy, I can even thing that I wouldn't mind being somewhat physical with them, perhaps hugging them, holding hands, or even a little bit more in some cases.  But the idea of actually having sex with them is just...  Meh.  I mean, I'm not sexually repulsed.  I'm open to the idea because it doesn't disgust me but it's not something I want or need, and there's no real attraction.  It's not that I'm "broken", I can still get turned on and all that.  I just...  Don't have an attraction of the sexual kind to others.

YES, EXACTLY! I've been trying to word it this perfectly for ages but couldn't! Thank you. <3

 

Sock: if we're going by that, then I've got virtually no sexual attraction, but a large sex drive. /TMI TIME

Edited by Zovesta

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I'm bisexual, I guess. >.> I hate telling that to people that don't already know me fairly well, as I tend to get thrown in with the girls out there who only say/do things of that nature to get extra attention from the opposite sex. Not that there's anything wrong with that, it's just that it's not me.

 

I'm sure I'll always be bisexual, but I refrain from getting involved with women nowadays. I used to mess around with other chicks, but I never had a relationship with one. It was just sort of a friends-with-benefits thing, and I had to say goodbye to that when I had a kid. Since I've started this whole commitment deal I haven't honestly considered being with women romantically, since my mother is a homophobic and would probably go all-out trying to take my daughter away if I did. She nearly broke my neck when she found out I'd kissed a girl (and I'd liked it -- but seriously.)

 

It's not a huge loss, though. To be completely honest, I don't think I've ever been romantically attracted to another female. I've just always been a tomboy. All my friends were guys growing up and I've always just got along better with males. You'd think this would make me more prone to connect with women, but it hasn't. I've had plenty of female friends, but hardly any of them were what you'd call close friends. There's just a social wall there, I guess -- we don't connect in that way, if at all. Also, now that I've moved to a smaller, quieter town, there's not a lot of options. I just don't rock the night-life anymore. XD

 

It's been a while since I've said anything about this to anyone. I'm just waiting to be shunned by all the female friends I have on here now. >.>

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I'm bisexual, I guess. >.> I hate telling that to people that don't already know me fairly well, as I tend to get thrown in with the girls out there who only say/do things of that nature to get extra attention from the opposite sex. Not that there's anything wrong with that, it's just that it's not me.

 

I'm sure I'll always be bisexual, but I refrain from getting involved with women nowadays. I used to mess around with other chicks, but I never had a relationship with one. It was just sort of a friends-with-benefits thing, and I had to say goodbye to that when I had a kid. Since I've started this whole commitment deal I haven't honestly considered being with women romantically, since my mother is a homophobic and would probably go all-out trying to take my daughter away if I did. She nearly broke my neck when she found out I'd kissed a girl (and I'd liked it -- but seriously.)

 

It's not a huge loss, though. To be completely honest, I don't think I've ever been romantically attracted to another female. I've just always been a tomboy. All my friends were guys growing up and I've always just got along better with males. You'd think this would make me more prone to connect with women, but it hasn't. I've had plenty of female friends, but hardly any of them were what you'd call close friends. There's just a social wall there, I guess -- we don't connect in that way, if at all. Also, now that I've moved to a smaller, quieter town, there's not a lot of options. I just don't rock the night-life anymore. xd.png

 

It's been a while since I've said anything about this to anyone. I'm just waiting to be shunned by all the female friends I have on here now. >.>

This is an extremely accepting forum for these sorts of things. I doubt anyone's going to come running to shun you.

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i am not quite sure. i think its possible i could be bisexual i prefer guys usually but i have had crushes on girls kinda

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