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Coelophysis

Sexual Orientation

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I do sort of understand what you mean. Had a weird time trying to misunderstand myself. xd.png

I can see how the wording could be taken to mean something else.

 

 

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Excellent post! And I quoted this part because...anytime anyone says being gay is a choice, I like to ask them when they chose to be straight.

I used to say that too, but then I had it kind of backfire on me in a debate with someone who, based on his description, was bisexual but only acted on his heterosexual feelings because of his religious beliefs. He was attracted to both men and women, but had chosen to only pursue women, and assumed that everyone else was the same. Asking "When did you choose to be straight?" doesn't work as well when the other guy just says, "When I was 14. What does that have to do with anything?" tongue.gif

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But, it's also something that really needs to be said--there's a disturbing number of people who assume that you cannot have a relationship that doesn't involve sex.  And that's a dangerous attitude.

Yes. Because it implies you can't be attracted to someone if they are incapable of sex. Example:

 

Handicapped person, in a wheelchair, paralyzed from the waist down. Or injured in some way that makes physical sex impossible. Or someone who has heart conditions that make physical sex a no no.

 

When someone falls in love with a person like this, it is automatically assumed that they are a gold digger, or some other unsavory reason. Because, of course, they can't possibly find this person attractive. Many long and healthy marriages have no sex in them at all. Pure companionship, admiration for the personality, mental equal, all these are valid reason for deep love, and romance.

 

But our society assumes you can't have one without access to physical sex. It's sad. It really is.

 

And that just makes it harder for those who have a sexual inclination that doesn't "fit" into accepted societal norms.

Edited by Riverwillows

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I used to say that too, but then I had it kind of backfire on me in a debate with someone who, based on his description, was bisexual but only acted on his heterosexual feelings because of his religious beliefs. He was attracted to both men and women, but had chosen to only pursue women, and assumed that everyone else was the same. Asking "When did you choose to be straight?" doesn't work as well when the other guy just says, "When I was 14. What does that have to do with anything?" tongue.gif

It's still not really the same thing.

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Hetero-sexual female here, though I'd say I swing through periods of asexuality. Either I'm waaay behind my classmates in development this way, or I'm gray-sexual, since for enormous periods of time I just have no interest in anyone. People are just people to me, not prospective partners. 18 and I've never had a boyfriend, nor does anyone particularly interest me at the moment or I feel the need to find someone. Not sure if this is asexuality or just not having a tremendous choice of interested partners xd.png

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Yes. Because it implies you can't be attracted to someone if they are incapable of sex. Example:

 

Handicapped person, in a wheelchair, paralyzed from the waist down. Or injured in some way that makes physical sex impossible. Or someone who has heart conditions that make physical sex a no no.

 

When someone falls in love with a person like this, it is automatically assumed that they are a gold digger, or some other unsavory reason. Because, of course, they can't possibly find this person attractive. Many long and healthy marriages have no sex in them at all. Pure companionship, admiration for the personality, mental equal, all these are valid reason for deep love, and romance.

 

But our society assumes you can't have one without access to physical sex. It's sad. It really is.

 

And that just makes it harder for those who have a sexual inclination that doesn't "fit" into accepted societal norms.

And that attitude makes it really hard for us asexuals to be recognized as real people with a real, legitimate orientation--because if we're not interested in sex, we must be broken or lying or sick or something or we're incapable of love (which especially baffles me since there's more than just romantic love, but some people just assume we can't love in ANY sense--which must be even more hell for aromantics).

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It's still not really the same thing.

I know, but the thing is, he didn't understand that. He assumed that everyone felt like he did, that everyone felt attraction to both sexes and if someone was "straight" that just meant they had decided to only pursue the opposite sex, like he had. And of course, trying to explain to him that that isn't really the case just led to him freaking out that I was "calling him gay" and completely shutting down the conversation.

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Wookie, the link is fine since you did warn that the link contained language in the comments. ^^

 

~

 

Any other aces here go through periods of gray-romanticism? =X I went through a rather long period where I strongly cared for my bf, but did not really feel romantically attracted at the time. I feel romantic feelings towards him again now, but that was kind of a freaky time for me since I haven't felt like that at any other point in our almost four year relationship.

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I tend to say I'm queer or bisexual. I prefer queer because my attraction to boys/girls isn't 50/50 and because "bisexual" leaves out those who don't fall in the gender binary, but my girlfriend hates that word because of some bad experiences in the past. Polysexual is probably more accurate, but most people don't know what that means, plus it gets confused with polyamorous (which, admittedly, our relationship is as well). So, bisexual it is.

Edited by vintageandroid

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I mostly call myself bi-romantic, because I can be romantically attracted to either gender, but not sexually attracted to those of the same gender. If that makes any sense, whatsoever.

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Yep, that makes perfect sense! Your romantic and sexual orientations don't always have to line up, after all.

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Any other aces here go through periods of gray-romanticism? =X I went through a rather long period where I strongly cared for my bf, but did not really feel romantically attracted at the time. I feel romantic feelings towards him again now, but that was kind of a freaky time for me since I haven't felt like that at any other point in our almost four year relationship.

I'm not really the best person to answer this since I've only even been in two 'relationships' (I use that term loosely), but I will say that I've never felt a genuine 'romantic' interest in a person, even when I tried to think of them as my 'boyfriend'. I've tried to be romantic, but it just doesn't feel natural for me.

 

Maybe someday I'll find a person I feel that way towards, but to be honest I think I would just be happy as a platonic life partner.

 

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I'm not really the best person to answer this since I've only even been in two 'relationships' (I use that term loosely), but I will say that I've never felt a genuine 'romantic' interest in a person, even when I tried to think of them as my 'boyfriend'. I've tried to be romantic, but it just doesn't feel natural for me.

 

Maybe someday I'll find a person I feel that way towards, but to be honest I think I would just be happy as a platonic life partner.

That explains pretty much how I was feeling at the time. o3o

 

(To be honest, even now, I feel like I have less tolerance for the romantic stuff.)

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I'm fine with homosexuals, so Long as I don't have to deal with them. Let them Mary, it won't dieprectly hurt me. If they want to, let them. What I don't like is when they protest (its Hideous and creepy, and gives them a bad image). Then again, I don't like protesting much at all ...

 

~Taken care of~

Edited by SockPuppet Strangler

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I'm fine with homosexuals, so Long as I don't have to deal with them. Let them Mary, it won't dieprectly hurt me. If they want to, let them. What I don't like is when they protest (its Hideous and creepy, and gives them a bad image). Then again, I don't like protesting much at all ...

Yeah, I'm pretty much convinced you're a troll now. Being against protesting is one thing, though I will respectfully disagree with that opinion. But calling protesting for rights "hideous and creepy"? That... really disgusts me.

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I tend to believe that human sexuality and romance is too complex to be divided up so cleanly.

 

My theory is that it has to do with us being social creatures and being able to form relationships with anyone in general, whether friendship, family, or romantic...though it comes more easily to some than to others. But it's a behavior that's controlled by society, how we are raised and how we are taught to think, and so we are forced to put ourselves into neat little categories when, really, it's not all that easy. We're all human and all made up of the same things down to every little molecule.

 

But I won't turn this into a rant. x3 Me, I'm heterosexual, but I'm more of a romantic; I've only ever felt sexual attraction to the guys I date. So I guess that makes me demisexual, according to this. Demi-hetero? Whatever. In a relationship I look forward more to a true, loving romance and a partnership that works.

 

And it's just me. x3

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Oh god whenever you guys talk about "Demisexual" it just makes me automatically think, "Aww yeah they want the Hazeh cool.gif " /name is Demi

 

As for protesting:

 

Eh, huh? o_O You seem to be the Javert-kind of person who thinks laws are black and white and are indefinitely unchangeable. Protesting is a very necessary and essential part of being a country. I do it because my moms deserve to be recognized as a married couple throughout the nation, because the taxes BS that goes around is just mind boggling.

 

Besides, if you're really that passionate about "OMG LAW", you'd be advocating the repeal of DOMA. It is in direct violation of the Constitution. (I forget the name of the Clause, but I remember reading about it in Government class and being like, "Whaaattt?")

 

Either way, we homos aren't doing anything that heterosexuals aren't doing. So, not really seeing how we could disgust anyone.

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I'm fine with homosexuals, so Long as I don't have to deal with them. Let them Mary, it won't dieprectly hurt me. If they want to, let them. What I don't like is when they protest (its Hideous and creepy, and gives them a bad image). Then again, I don't like protesting much at all ...

Care to explain how protesting is 'hideous and creepy'? Our country would not be where it was today if not for protesting. We would still have seperate water fountains for blacks and whites, segergation in schools, to name just a couple things from the Civil Right's movement.

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I'm heterosexual and am completely tolerant of all sexual orientations. People deserve the right to find love and happiness and it shouldn't matter who they find that joy with.

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I usually tell people I'm bisexual though now I consider myself pansexual, so yes I am attracted to both girls and other guys or humans generally, most people have a tendency to think I must be one way or the other and bi-sexual actually means I can't make up my mind, but in reality it just means I find both/all genders and people attractive and as far as I know this wasn't a choice it's just how it is.

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I don't talk about sexuality IRL, but friends and family have mutually agreed that I'm asexual, with whatever romantic feelings that equate to "I really love having you as a friend and I'll miss you if you decided you didn't want to talk to me."

 

I think of it like art. Sometimes art doesn't appeal to me; other times I just want to stop and stare and admire it for hours. I'll have art I like for reasons other than how aesthetically pleasing it is. I don't want to run my fingers all over art to feel the textures of the paint or the grooves in the pottery. I don't want to pick it up and take it home with me so I can privately admire it - I just want to look at it and sort of... bask in its glory? xd.png (Wow, I suck at explaining.)

 

Anyway, I really don't mind other peoples' sexualities or understand how other people can be bothered by it. Whatever floats your boat and doesn't hurt anyone, y'know? As long as they keep it PG-13 infront of you, what's the big deal?

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Same as Xylene, I'm also asexual. Except that I share it with everyone who asks if I'll have a partner. I guess I could think of it in terms the way Xylene has, but I also don't really find humans attractive at all.

I admire some of the personalities we can have though, and it's what determines how well I get along with a certain person.

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I have always said, "Love is a matter of the heart, not the genitalia."

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I'm asexual, which for me means i'm generally disinterested in having any sort of physical relationship. Although i did give it a try and now have a daughter... very unplanned but loved. It seems the only relationship i can really get attached to is the parent/ child sort ( not the creepy kind). i have a strong bond with my parents/ siblings and child but i am completely un-attracted in term of sex to anyone. Including her dad, who took a while to understand he was an experiment.

Also, it seems to be hard to explain how one can be asexual (especially with a child) everyone thinks 'oh when i meet the ONE i'll know' and that will be that. That i just haven't met someone that I like. No, not at all. I have no desire to marry or to be with someone, i was completely taken aback to find out i was pregnant and yes, things that feel good physically, still feel good, just there is no emotional connection so it just feels cheep. An intimate massage, nothing more.

 

 

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I'm asexual, which for me means i'm generally disinterested in having any sort of physical relationship. Although i did give it a try and now have a daughter... very unplanned but loved. It seems the only relationship i can really get attached to is the parent/ child sort ( not the creepy kind). i have a strong bond with my parents/ siblings and child but i am completely un-attracted in term of sex to anyone. Including her dad, who took a while to understand he was an experiment.

Also, it seems to be hard to explain how one can be asexual (especially with a child) everyone thinks 'oh when i meet the ONE i'll know' and that will be that. That i just haven't met someone that I like. No, not at all. I have no desire to marry or to be with someone, i was completely taken aback to find out i was pregnant and yes, things that feel good physically, still feel good, just there is no emotional connection so it just feels cheep. An intimate massage, nothing more.

It sounds like you might be aromantic, but maybe not asexual?

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