Description comments

[DragonLady86]

I have had this one sitting and waiting for months, for my Ochredrake, Draca.

 

 

 

I mostly have accepts, a few with comments, and that's great, but I just now checked it and got this comment:

 

Abstain: Good, but needs some spell-check, I think. ~[Name]

 

???

 

What did I spell wrong? (No, "generousity" is not a spelling mistake; it is the correct spelling where I live, which is Canada.) I'm even on Firefox, which checks spelling automatically, and nothing but that (and "dimwittedness", which may or may not be an actual word) come up. I'm confused.

@songwithnosoul

 

The 2 you pointed out were the only possible spelling mistakes I saw. You said the one is non-usa spelling, so thats fine and who cares if the other is not a normal word, people make up words all the time. I might have noted your sentences feel really long, but as I dont see a good way to break them up, I'd leave it as is.

[Pink]

Oh, that was me.

I think it may have been that dimwittedness sounds like a run-on, made up word. ( Just looked it up, and it's acceptable. My apologies.)

I don't remember, as it was very late last night, and good god there were some terrible descriptions on there last night.

Not that that's an isolated incident, but it does cause one to become rather harsh.

 

Heck, I think I even saw one in latin.

0_o

Edited January 14, 2011 by Pink

[ArynChris]

The dragon Clarmythsandra, sometimes called Clari, is mated to the wandering Scarf Dancer but normally stays at home in the caves of dragon keeper Lorraine.  Unlike her mate, Clari is a simple, carefree soul who doesn't worry about which humans and dragons like or don't like her, and she spends most of her days playing in the woods and teasing the passers-by.  Scarf Dancer's human companion, Lady ArynChris, favors the playful creature when visiting and is the one who gave her her name.  A pretty name for a pretty beast, she said, though most people wouldn't call a dragon pretty.

 

Accept: I would call a dragon pretty

Reject:

Accept:

Awww! ^^ Clari would like you, whoever you are.

 

The culmination of four generations of careful breeding, Harvest Seagen was a royal gift to the human Lady ArynChris, who and whose ancestors had always been great friends to the house of Tiari in the kingdoms of Lars and Morad.  He was thusly named for, as the king said when passing his harness leash (for he was a very young dragon yet, and liable to get into trouble if not watched), he is the harvest reaped of friendship and good care.  Proud of his heritage and purpose in life, noble in spirit and graceful in form, Harvest Seagen is a faithful mate to the dragon Cane Dancer and a true companion to the human Lady ArynChris-- though he suspects she isn't human at all.

 

Accept: Nicely written. "who and whose ancestors" line needs fixing, though.

I noticed when I wrote it that it sounds awkward... but I'm not sure how else to say what I mean, and I think it's grammatically correct. Anyone from the thread want to field this one? I'm no English major. =P

 

Vest Dancer is a lonesome and sorrowful dragon, named for the way she folds her wings in to look like a piece of clothing when feeling particularly down.  Often found mewing and huddled in a courtyard, Vest is typically given acting parts that require very little dancing; while other dragons dance as kings and fools, nobles and madmen, Vest will play the parts of a maiden in distress or a heartbroken lover.  Her fellow dragons are sometimes unnerved, not understanding why she cries, but the human Lady ArynChris knows it is because Vest has no mate-- and perhaps never, ever will.

 

Accept: Nawww.

o.o

 

Playfully named for a humming sound she often makes when pleased or vexed, Surum is a quiet homebody, content to live out her days in the same caves, by the same trees, near the same little creek with jumping fish and berry bushes.  Though she has only mothered one child thus far, Surum waits peacefully each spring for her mate Scalith to come and dance with her under the eaves of the forest roof.

 

Accept: Cute. -cookie

Thank you! ^^

 

Dee'kari'itda is large for his kind and without scruples.  If he wants food, he takes it.  If he wants the warmest shelter, he'll take that, too.  And if he wants offspring, he'll hound a female until she's tired and starving, then trap her and hold her down until his egg is laid-- which is precisely how he came by his son Sca'itda, when the unwary wanderer Scarum stumbled into his territory.  Though he was terrible towards Scarum, it must be said that he has been a proud and devoted father to his son, and knows his son will do better in life than he himself ever has.

 

Reject:

First of all, my dragons are not generally sentient, even when they might seem like it. They're more like an intelligent breed of dog. Second, this description could easily fit some real-life humans in the world, so it's not like I'm being unnecessarily cruel here. <.< I try to be realistic, and that means both the good and the bad.

 

Happy-hearted and carefree son of a pompous but loving father (and indirectly, of the petite female his father pinned down and mated with before she escaped), Sca'itda spends cheerful days roaming his small valley home and staring up at the sky.  Though his own father is too large to fly and Sca'itda is hesitant to try with only his mate Minari Mistoh as a teacher, he hopes someday that his children will know the joy of soaring through the skies and encourages their toddling first steps with all the love and pride his own father showed him.

As is customary, Sca'itda passes to his children the part of his name that he is more proud of-- not Sca, for he never knew his mother or her people, but 'itda, for the father who raised him so proudly.

 

Accept: I like it.good job!

Thanks! ^^

 

...As Sun'itda, reflected on how far he had traveled from home, the bright and ever-curious Tmbleaf hopped from tree limb to tree limb above him and reflected on how it had been four thousand years since any season-dragon last came so far from the Longish Mountains.  The last of them, her ancestors, had settled in this distant forest and evolved into much smaller, more quick-witted creatures.  She was curious about this strange dragon who smelled like summer blossoms and was large, though not so large as her ancestors, and who didn't seem as dull-witted as strange dragons were supposed to be.  It wasn't long before she leapt down from the treetops to introduce herself, and from thereafter the two were close friends, eventually mates.

Though her dearest became accustomed to the new forest and adopted by her people, sometimes Tmbleaf still noticed him doing strange things.  One of these was naming their child Tmbl'itda, and when she asked why, he could only tell her that it felt right.

 

Reject: "that it..." Did you run out of room? I was excited for the end of the sentence. x3

 

I did, I did run out of room! But I corrected it a split second before you posted your comment! Didn't even know that was possible, since it usually clears all the comments when you fix a description. Neat.

[ArynChris]

I have had this one sitting and waiting for months, for my Ochredrake, Draca.

I checked a dragon or two that I wasn't sure if I'd described yet... and sure enough, there's one that has been waiting for mod approval for months.

 

Didn't we have a description-loving mod around here? @_@ I'd PM her, but I can't for the life of me recall who it was.

[tiktokism]

I have had this one sitting and waiting for months, for my Ochredrake, Draca.

 

 

 

I mostly have accepts, a few with comments, and that's great, but I just now checked it and got this comment:

 

Abstain: Good, but needs some spell-check, I think. ~[Name]

 

???

 

What did I spell wrong? (No, "generousity" is not a spelling mistake; it is the correct spelling where I live, which is Canada.) I'm even on Firefox, which checks spelling automatically, and nothing but that (and "dimwittedness", which may or may not be an actual word) come up. I'm confused.

 

Edit: Mystery solved! It's all good. Thanks!

Generous is a correct spelling; generousity is not - I haven't found any online reference stating that "generousity" is correct anywhere. Every online dictionary uses GENEROSITY.

[Danne]

@ArynChris: Couldn't you just say something like, "whose family..." since that would incorporate ancestors and, by implication, herself as well?

 

And you can usually PM Sock if you get antsy for having a description approved. She's the only one approving them at the moment, and while she's got a lot on her plate at the moment, I've seen her state a few times that she's happy to be PMed. (Correct me if I'm wrong, Sock!)

[ArynChris]

@ArynChris: Couldn't you just say something like, "whose family..." since that would incorporate ancestors and, by implication, herself as well?

 

And you can usually PM Sock if you get antsy for having a description approved. She's the only one approving them at the moment, and while she's got a lot on her plate at the moment, I've seen her state a few times that she's happy to be PMed. (Correct me if I'm wrong, Sock!)

Hmm. I guess the only thing about it is that I want to specify that she personally is one of the friends... It's tricky because it's not the woman's family at all, it's herself and her direct ancestors, with the title of Lady ArynChris being passed from mother to daughter or granddaughter, each one carrying on the work of her line. Ah, well. I'll figure something out. Thank you for the advice. ^^

[Pinkie]

Got a blank reject on Vexie...I know for a fact that whoever it was was just way too lazy to read it. I'm really proud of Vexie's description, as I used a different style than I usually do with my descriptions, yet it still tells as much or possibly even more about who she is.

 

 

Two callous amber eyes watched as two small hatchlings squabbled, unaware that they were being watched.

Vexie flexed her claws, her lips curling back into a nasty, cruel expression.

The small hatchlings brought back bitter memories. She was once in their shoes. But that was long ago; her playmates had betrayed her. She had felt no guilt when she burned the scales from Hayden's chest or anything but grim satisfaction as she heard Pace's spine snap under her claws.

Their adorable little sister was anything but adorable anymore. Her heart has been corrupted by Creorluna. They promise sweet power. What did she get from Elders...friendship, puh. As if that mattered.

She'd been watching these two all day, attempting to determine their parentage and personalities. Would they be easy to temper and strong enough to handle the brutal world of a Creor...She made up her mind in an instant and in one fell swoop, ruined two more lives, sacrificing them to Izdati and his worshippers.

 

Reject:

 

Possibly for your one part, Aryn: "She and her ancestors" That sounds a little less awkward

 

[ArynChris]

Got a blank reject on Vexie...I know for a fact that whoever it was was just way too lazy to read it. I'm really proud of Vexie's description, as I used a different style than I usually do with my descriptions, yet it still tells as much or possibly even more about who she is.

 

Possibly for your one part, Aryn: "She and her ancestors" That sounds a little less awkward

Maybe the person did read it and was objecting to the style. That happens sometimes, some folks object to anything that doesn't fit the flow of the standard dragon and breed description. I once got a reject on the grounds that my space chicken description wasn't medieval enough, even though TJ himself said that was only his _personal_ guideline and the rest of us are by no means restricted to it. *shrug*

 

And thanks! ^^ That gives me an idea on how to change it, much obliged to you.

[Pinkie]

Still odd...it wasn't like it broke any parameters. All it was was more or less from Vexie's perspective...usually I do a more of a summary style but this time I decided to try something new. Love the fact that this is actually one of my origional characters in a story I'm working on, but she was so different there, though the basics are still smashed in. After writing it, I decided I liked the DC Vexie better and now of course am planning to implement that into the story .

 

 

Glad I could be of help though, Aryn. We all need it sometimes...

[siliconrose]

Yeah, the only problem I can see with the description is the tense switch in:

 

Her heart has been corrupted by Creorluna.

 

I don't think it's actually wrong, but those sorts of tense switches make me uncomfortable. I might have abstained.

 

ETA: Otherwise, it's awesome. I love the vivid feel of it.

Edited January 16, 2011 by siliconrose

[Pinkie]

Meh, "had" doesn't make any sense. Considering Creorluna's history, even if Vexie got back her mind and decided to return to her brothers, Creorluna would still be corrupting her. Tesky's proof of that. Means in this tense that they did and will continue to until she finally croaks.

 

In other news, yipee for blank rejects. Insomia has produced another 1 am description which I really don't mind. But tell me something, what kind of person decides to at this hour of the day not only proofread, but reject without reading? I'd understand if they told me something was wrong with it, it is hot off the press afterall, but sheesh. It'll never get any better if I don't know what works and what doesn't./endrant

[Sunrise]

Thousands of years ago, according to the legends of the Firewind and Fallensnow clans, dragons with the stars reflected in their wings came to the Valley of Teeth to calm rampant chaos. They stayed for a while, sewing the seeds of morality and justice. Then, inexplicably, they departed, promising that one day they would return. No one knows who they really were or where they came from, but they are known to the Valley clans as Keepers of the Stars.

Beiyiru is a descendant of these Keepers. Feisty and opinionated, she disapproves of the residents' corruption and decadence. She tries to convince her fellow Keepers that it is time to return, time to teach the Valley dragons once more how they should live. Some of them agree, but many, including her friend, Serreia, insist that they still remember their old lessons and will find their own way to restore prosperity.

 

Reject: Reject: I mean a BIOGRAPHY, not a story... sorry for the confusion.

 

………Dude.

Did you even read the second part of the description?

[LadyAmlaruil2]

My male CB Magi

 

Clinohumbry ShatterSpell (after the gemstone: Clinohumite) became the 55th clan dragon, wrapped in a saga of mystery and saddened discovery. Even with all the combined magical talents of the honored Clan Mystal Magi, the circumstances surrounding his creation remain clouded in obscurity. The only inkling they have unveiled is that he was rescued by another, then magically transported away and abandoned to die among other unwanted egglings. Although the Clan Mother found, and liberated him before any physical damage was done, the long term emotional scars have proven to be very significant. As a result of his beginnings, Clinohumbry is a very bitter and pungent dragon who expresses little interest in the arts of magic or spell making. None of the clan elders hold this against him however, and he is a welcomed member of the clan community. The Clan Mother hopes one day to help heal his inner demons, and all hold the tender hope that this might someday be possible.

 

User Comments

Accept: Assuming you got him off the Ap. Sad story

Accept: amazing!

 

>>> Thanks for the comments - and yes, I picked him up out of the AP, ergo, the description! I try to include bits and pieces of what actually happened into all my descriptions!

[afie]

Two callous amber eyes watched as two small hatchlings squabbled, unaware that they were being watched.

Vexie flexed her claws, her lips curling back into a nasty, cruel expression.

The small hatchlings brought back bitter memories. She was once in their shoes. But that was long ago; her playmates had betrayed her. She had felt no guilt when she burned the scales from Hayden's chest or anything but grim satisfaction as she heard Pace's spine snap under her claws.

Their adorable little sister was anything but adorable anymore. Her heart has been corrupted by Creorluna. They promise sweet power. What did she get from Elders...friendship, puh. As if that mattered.

She'd been watching these two all day, attempting to determine their parentage and personalities. Would they be easy to temper and strong enough to handle the brutal world of a Creor...She made up her mind in an instant and in one fell swoop, ruined two more lives, sacrificing them to Izdati and his worshippers.

 

Got a blank reject on Vexie...I know for a fact that whoever it was was just way too lazy to read it. I'm really proud of Vexie's description, as I used a different style than I usually do with my descriptions, yet it still tells as much or possibly even more about who she is.

 

 

Like ArynChris said, it's probably the style. A lot of people think the descriptions should be, well, descriptive, not narrative, so it might be the reason it got a reject.

I have no idea if mods would reject them for that reason though o.O; does anyone know if they would? if they don't i might want to try my hand at writing a few more descriptions

 

i wrote my first two descriptions a week or two ago now, they're a little silly (they're supposed to be )and they're for the ninja chicken thread:

There have been odd chickens creeping around muttering about being from space, and at first Chick Chickapee didn't pay them any heed, thinking they've just had one too many near-death encounters with the dragons.  However, lately these Space Chickens, as they call themselves, have been growing in numbers. Chick Chickapee can't help but suspect they're... organized.

Fearing nefarious space chicken plans Chick Chickapee joins the Ninja Chickens to fight against this space threat and make sure those plans never come to fruition.

    * Accept: I hope she foils the evil Space Chickens plot....

    * Accept: Hooray for the brave ninja chicken!

    * Accept:

 

Chick Chickafoo might be small, but she is a martial arts master; her chicken fu is matched by few, and she can easily snap a neck with a quick chop of her small wings. She is dedicated to the Ninja Chickens cause since she is convinced her mother was brainwashed by the Space Chickens and now runs around thinking she is from space. It's a dedication bordering on the fanatical and some of the other Ninja Chickens sometimes glance at her a little uncertainly as she raves and rants about the EVIL plans of the Space Chickens.

Accept:

 

 

I am glad they both got 'accept's

Edited January 17, 2011 by afie

[Nieske]

I have been accepting loads of ninja-chicken decriptions lately. It really made my day to find about 5 or 6, one right after the other. It pleased me even more to find nothing wrong with them, so I gave a comment and accepted them for being awesome

[Pinkie]

Got one that made me smile on Hayden's.

 

Accept: Heart wrenching. This is a tragicly beautiful tale

Accept:

 

And then Faeyn's also to whoever wrote this.

 

Faeyn is a handful....puh, yeah, that's putting it mildly. She prizes on doing the exact opposite of what is expected of her and always seems to manage to get in trouble SOMEHOW.

From tap-dancing on a wild grizzly bear's back to chucking fewmets at Creorluna's encampment to flying in thunderstorms, it's a miracle Zalexia has managed to keep her alive to adulthood. You'd think she'd mature a little and learn that several of her stunts can even get others hurt. But that's just not who Faeyn is.

Of course, Zalexia's found a way to reign that in, lest the clan guardian die from anxiety. When not bouncing-off-the-walls hyper, Faeyn is VERY OCD. Everything has to be just right in her cave and on her person. She has to do everything in a number that is divisible by 36. Don't ask why, it just is. So, ever wise, Zalexia employs hatchlings into messing up her cave to keep her from ever leaving it in exchange for an early start on their hordes. Works like a charm.

Accept: YOU, sir/ma'am, are an excellent description writer.

 

Also, I swear I've seen a few narrative descriptions that have been confirmed and are on the dragon's page...If I find one I'll post.

[Pink]

He lies in the shadows of the swamp: creeping, crawling, stalking. He never appears to move, yet he always comes closer. His leathery black pelt allows him to blend neatly into the shadows with nary a seam until you see his eyes: green slits, barely visible in the haze, that never seem to blink. He stalks his victims with all the skill and prowess endowed to the black panther and the tiger. They never realize what hit them until it's too late, and he's taken from them what he really wants- The only thing he truly hunts for... CUDDLES!

 

* Accept:

* Accept:

* Accept: Awesome!

 

Edit; I take that back, apparently I've gotten a few others...

 

I got these on "All-right".

 

* Accept: I have also wondered about the lack of legs on this sprite. This is awesome, nice job! No mistakes that I can see. ~prin

* Accept:

* Accept:

 

EMO, otherwise known as My Life Sucks, believes firmly that all the other dragons in his cave don't understand him. While he was originally hatched with legs, he whined so much about them to the Magis about them being "so mainstream" that they eventually just changed them into fins. Now he's upset because his tears can't flow and make an ocean when he actually LIVES in the ocean. Go figure.

 

This one got a fairly mixed reaction...

 

* Accept: Lol. Emo hatchie.

* Reject:

* Accept:

* Accept:

* Reject:

 

Oh no! The 'dumb', the most terrible disease to ever plague the face of the earth, ever has taken yet another victim! The disease causes terrible side effects like ditsiness, "dude" syndrome, and social awkwardness. Although it's not fatal, even side effects like death can occur.

This nondescript, poor convalescent has taken sick with it! But wait... no, that's just her failure of a personality. Minus the part about death, obviously, although to many, that would be a welcome relief.

 

This one got almost a completely negative reaction, although I'm afraid I don't have a clue to fix it because everyone failed to comment... except for that one person, of course.

 

 

* Reject: u r mean 2 dragons.stop saying this about them. im

* Reject:

* Accept:

* Reject:

 

Obviously they weren't finished with their comment on my being "mean 2 dragons".

For now I'm leaving it as is.

I'm thinking I might remove that part at the end. It was a last minute addition, and I'm still not sure about it. Who, exactly, in my cave has time off from their respective obsessions to worry about a lone, unintelligent Canopy?

 

Which reminds me, I need to make a dragon who criticizes everyone else. Hm.

 

 

Edited January 19, 2011 by Pink

[princessleopard]

I got these on "All-right".

 

* Accept: I have also wondered about the lack of legs on this sprite. This is awesome, nice job! No mistakes that I can see. ~prin

* Accept:

* Accept:

Yay, that was me! I'm glad you liked it, her description was very funny.

[Pink]

Yay, that was me! I'm glad you liked it, her description was very funny.

Why thank you, then.

:3

I always appreciate positive comments.

 

[Pinkie]

This one got almost a completely negative reaction, although I'm afraid I don't have a clue to fix it because everyone failed to comment... except for that one person, of course.

 

 

* Reject: u r mean 2 dragons.stop saying this about them. im

* Reject:

* Accept:

* Reject:

 

Obviously they weren't finished with their comment on my being "mean 2 dragons".

For now I'm leaving it as is.

I'm thinking I might remove that part at the end. It was a last minute addition, and I'm still not sure about it. Who, exactly, in my cave has time off from their respective obsessions to worry about a lone, unintelligent Canopy?

 

Which reminds me, I need to make a dragon who criticizes everyone else. Hm.

Just had to say that this description wouldn't be rejected by the mods(I don't think anyways.) It breaks none of the rules. People don't like it simply because you are being mean to the dragon. But they can't all be "Strong, powerful, pure of heart, perfect, beautiful, loyal, and your best friend" can they? I actually prefer ones that mix it up a little.

 

Also, your doing satirical cliches with those two, aren't you? Even better.

[Pink]

Just had to say that this description wouldn't be rejected by the mods(I don't think anyways.) It breaks none of the rules. People don't like it simply because you are being mean to the dragon. But they can't all be "Strong, powerful, pure of heart, perfect, beautiful, loyal, and your best friend" can they? I actually prefer ones that mix it up a little.

 

Also, your doing satirical cliches with those two, aren't you? Even better.

No, I figured it wouldn't be. Nah, I also counted in that some people just like rejecting every dragon that comes along. Some people do that, you know.

 

I guess you could say so.

 

Edit: ANNND the one I've been waiting two days to see (Since I haven't been on at midnight since right before then).

 

I KILL YOU is just your typical, kid-next-door zombie. He likes brains, he likes eating screaming people, and he very much likes you. Ignore the fact that it looks like some kid just stuck gum all over him. It's flesh. Rotting flesh. He sometimes cries because the other dragons have been saying he looks like he has gum all over him. Then he has to eat an adorable baby pink to make him feel better... Comfort food.  OM NOM.

 

* Accept: is it bad that i LOLED?

* Accept:

* Accept: really cool

* Accept:

Edited January 20, 2011 by Pink

[Nieske]

Nah, I also counted in that some people just like rejecting every dragon that comes along. Some people do that, you know.

I agree on that one, my dragon Damanta's Valentine got this on her description:

 

Accept:

Reject:

Accept:

Accept:

Accept:

Accept:

 

what's with the random rejecting?

[dracoon]

The official sorter for DracCave, ScrollKeeper refused to leave his spot on the very top of the scroll when he grew up. After multiple times of coaxing, Dracoon gave up and left ScrolKeeper alone. He takes a head count of every dragon and creature in and out of DracCave, making sure they are all in tip-top condition. Yet, ScrollKeeper never has a mate- he claims he is 'too busy for marital affairs'.

 

User Comments-

Accept:

Accept: Very far description

Accept:

Accept:

 

Far? No, he's pretty near to me.

[RainDear]

For my Guardian dragon, Lady Valiant Knight:

 

The boy woke from his nap in the meadow to see the huge form above him. It was a dragon! He cried out, "Don't hurt me. If you hurt or kill me, the whole village will come with spears and pitchforks and kill you."

 

Lady Valiant Knight looked at the small boy, and smiled. The baring of the huge expanse of teeth and jaws caused the boy to back pedal as rapidly (and clumsily) as he was able. "Please don't hurt me." He screamed.

 

Lady Valiant Knight just looked at the boy. He looked into her golden eyes and saw kindness, wisdom and a gentleness beyond any he had ever known. Stunned, he stumbled toward the village, as the dragon lifted her wings and soared on her way.

 

I got:

 

Accept: I don't like stories

 

I LOLed!