Emotional Support

[CatCreature]

I need some advice for anyone who has anxiety. I just want to be able to help him without having an anxiety attack all the time. What do you guys do to calm down? Not just from an anxiety attack, but from anxiety in general too?

I'm on meds now but I still struggle with my anxiety, just not daily like before.

 

I learnt that there are a few things to keep in mind.

 

First, blood sugar. I used to have my anxiety attack the hour before lunch at work (or right before breakfast if I haven't eaten before leaving home) so I know I need to eat something to avoid it. Our breaks are scheduled but we are allowed to nibble on candy or take a fruit if needed.

 

Second, breathe. Panicking make you keep your breath and that will lead to the brain not getting any

oxygen. Makes it hard to think.

 

Last but not least, try not to overthink things. I know it's hard and we are many people on this earth who do that. And when we do overthink it's always in a negative way. We see things as a personal attack or we think things will go wrong. Always worst case scenario you know? Try to interpret things from different angles, your mind might have jumped to the wrong conclusion.

 

I hope this will help a bit and I hope you get any medical care you need.

Edited July 8, 2015 by CatCreature

[PixelShark]

Pixel, do you ever just feel really anxious for an entire day? Like I'll tell myself things that obviously aren't true. I get scared and I want to try to protect myself from the pain IF these things really were true. But they really aren't. It takes me long time to realize that I'm freaking out and being ridiculous. I need to try to figure a way for me to realize it sooner.

Exercise is really good! We used to exercise together via Skype and we were in such a better mood. We were eating healthy and we were doing fantastic. We didn't have any issues like this until recently. I'm trying so hard to get him to get back into exercising with me.

Thank you for your response.

 

 

I really do appreciate the responses. It makes me feel a lot better talking about it.

I'm so glad I could help you, first of all.

 

Yeah, there are some days where I'm just scared of my own thoughts. And what I worry about is really random. I worry about them and try to find a way to survive it. For example, sometimes I'll notice how quickly my day is going by, and I'll start to freak out because that means more new things will be on the way to meet me head-on. And sometimes I'm scared of sleeping, but I get too tired to stay awake. And even if I tell myself that I'm being irrational, I get spooked pretty easily and it's hard to shake it. Best I can suggest with that is to try and keep telling yourself that you get past it. That's really all that I personally can do for myself at those times.

 

 

Maybe you should ask your boyfriend if you want to do some exercises today or sometime in the near future? And suggest you both let off some stress. That way you can (hopefully) get past this mess you're in.

 

I'm really happy you're feeling better already!

[AnanoKimi]

Anano, they are really hard! I've seen him 3 times over this past year and I'll be moving in with him in less than three weeks. It's nerve wracking. This is also the first relationship I've ever been in too. I'm sorry that you're in pain and feeling depressed. Do you handle depression well on your own or do you need to talk over it with him? It's unfortunate for us because he doesn't want to talk anything over with me. I feel kind of left out in a way, because some of his issues pertain to relationships in general. I can't imagine how you guys feel. I think we would have a very hard time lasting two years in a LDR if I wasn't starting therapy. Thank you! I need to remember to relax when he's relaxing.

I'm his first relationship so its funny how we're opposites on that. I've slowly taught him that its not scary to open up to me.I've noticed that those who have a hard time opening up have had some kind of experience or somehow came to learn that opening up is scary. For men its more difficult because its hardwired into them to not be open and emotional, to not talk about what bothers them lest they are a burden. The best way to deal with that is to coax him slowly. Reassure him that you won't bite and that if he decides to open up even a little bit that it will be okay. In terms of my depression and anxiety I've learned to both deal with it on my own and to talk to him about it. I know he wont always be there so I try to stay strong on my own but when I do have days where its just too much and I can't stand strong anymore I know I can run to him, even if its on Skype, and bawl my eyes out, whether it be for a reason or none. I assure him that the same applies to him. That he doesn't have to be strong for me all the time, and that I much rather have him open up and cry or be depressed and frown, than to fake a smile to me. A relationship isn't all rainbows and sunshine. In order to make a relationship work, one needs to be able to express what they are feeling and thinking at that very moment. Not telling the person you are sad or troubled is the equivalent of lying to their face. Its not healthy and it can cause a lot of strain in a relationship. My boyfriend and I battled with that for some time because he had lots of trust issues. Now hes more comfortable coming home and sitting down on his bed and just letting his head hang as I constantly reassure him that things will be alright and that I love him tremendously.

 

Don't be afraid to be open and to blab all day or cry for hours in front of him if you need to. He needs to be able to see you at your most vulnerable and vice versa. Let him know that its distracting in a good way to hear about his day, that its encouraged that he make you forget about your problems by giving you something to work with him on. His problems are your problems and vice versa and you need to be able to trust your partner in being able to share the load without fear of crushing you. Again, don't underestimate him and let him know to not underestimate you.

[Kiya_Felixea]

I have diagnosed and medicated General Anxiety Disorder (GAD) that has in the past developed into full blown agoraphobia. I've also been fighting depression since my second last year of High-school.

I'm now 22 years old. I just moved (a year ago really) four hours away from the little country town I called home to the city to study at university full time. Since moving here I've stopped sleeping completely, so my physical health is suffering, I went three full months where I was sick the entire time. My anxiety is constant and exhausting, I know that I'm slipping back to where I never leave the house and naturally the depression is getting significantly worse as well.

I'm on medication that is meant to help me sleep as well as help with mood, but I'm still getting worse. I'm also going through cognitive behaviorist therapy (CBT) with a psychologist. Nothing appears to be helping and I am really tired. I've been struggling with depression and anxiety for far to long, Now with the insomnia as well... My studies are suffering, I'm missing a lot of work so my pay is suffering (at least my bosses are both understanding). I'm used to having a lot of savings to fall back on in an emergency, now i barely have enough money to cover rent, bills and food.

People have told me to get rid of my pets to save money, but my babies are the only thing keeping me going. My puppy is 1 year and 1 month old now and she is so lovely and well trained. I worked hard to make her the gorgeous loving pooch she is (shes curled up in bed with me now). My two cat's, one was a gift from a breeder, a pure breed Bengal boy called Todd. Most people don't like him because he's not "cuddly" enough. truth is he is cuddly, but only to the right people. he keeps me warm in winter and loves to play tag with my feet. Then the stray kitten Cai, I raised that little boy from 6 weeks old. He's a little sweety who will let you do anything to him. Including give him a bath, clip his claws and nurse him like a baby. How can I give them away? They're all I have. Even my friends are distant these days. They don't know how to cope with the breakdowns, they don't understand why I'm always hesitant about going out. They don't understand why the thought of going to the movies fills me with panic. They don't understand why I feel like giving up.

 

This was meant to be a short post. Sorry it's so long. just need to get it all out somewhere.

[SUP3RSPAWN3R]

Recently my family got a letter back from the vet with the results of some tests they ran on my oldest cat. It didn't turn out well. He has an enlarged heart and some other medical terms that I don't really remember (or care to remember). His condition is incurable, though treatable. They don't know how long he has, and it could be anywhere from months to many years. We've had him since he was only four weeks old. I'm broken up about it, but I feel really bad about myself if I try and pretend like nothing's wrong. Can anyone give me help on how to deal with this (or not deal with it)?

[danicast]

Recently my family got a letter back from the vet with the results of some tests they ran on my oldest cat. It didn't turn out well. He has an enlarged heart and some other medical terms that I don't really remember (or care to remember). His condition is incurable, though treatable. They don't know how long he has, and it could be anywhere from months to many years. We've had him since he was only four weeks old. I'm broken up about it, but I feel really bad about myself if I try and pretend like nothing's wrong. Can anyone give me help on how to deal with this (or not deal with it)?

My cat is currently sick, she is on treatment and the vet says her condition is improving and she have no risk of dying but even so, I am worried with her. We grow attached to these lovely creatures and it's natural to feel worried and sad and all the emotional mess that we feel in these circumstances BUT do not worry too much because cats are incredibly strong (that's why people say that they have nine lives) and if the vet said that you cat can live years with this heart condition, you should believe them.

When I rescued my cat she was a tiny baby and she had malnuctriction, she was so tiny and in so bad condition that I thought that she would not survive a week. She is nine years old now, so don't feel too much worried, they really are strong.

>>hug<<

[SUP3RSPAWN3R]

Thank you for that, I feel better than I did before.

[sparkle10184]

Recently my family got a letter back from the vet with the results of some tests they ran on my oldest cat. It didn't turn out well. He has an enlarged heart and some other medical terms that I don't really remember (or care to remember). His condition is incurable, though treatable. They don't know how long he has, and it could be anywhere from months to many years. We've had him since he was only four weeks old. I'm broken up about it, but I feel really bad about myself if I try and pretend like nothing's wrong. Can anyone give me help on how to deal with this (or not deal with it)?

*hugs* I'm so sorry <3 The best I can suggest is to spend as much time with your kitty now as possible. Play with him, give him treats, lots of cuddles. Make the time count.

 

I'm waiting for blood test results back from the vet about our family cat, Pickles. She lost weight and stopped eating and just wasn't her happy active self anymore. They tested for thyroid, diabetes, cancer, etc.. The test results are going to be here tomorrow, hoping it's nothing major.

 

Sending love and prayers <3

[Omega Entity]

My cat is currently sick, she is on treatment and the vet says her condition is improving and she have no risk of dying but even so, I am worried with her. We grow attached to these lovely creatures and it's natural to feel worried and sad and all the emotional mess that we feel in these circumstances BUT do not worry too much because cats are incredibly strong (that's why people say that they have nine lives) and if the vet said that you cat can live years with this heart condition, you should believe them.

When I rescued my cat she was a tiny baby and she had malnuctriction, she was so tiny and in so bad condition that I thought that she would not survive a week. She is nine years old now, so don't feel too much worried, they really are strong.

>>hug<<

My 17 year old kitty is still going strong, a bit on the light side but still a happy kitty. The odd thing is, is that she's had a heart murmur since she was young, possibly was born with it and supposedly most cats with that condition die before they hit 6 years of age - in other words, she should be alive right now. Ironically, we had to have her brother put down at 13 due to him being in so much pain due to cancer.

 

I guess what I'm saying is, things will happen as they happen. I get myself bummed out sometimes thinking my senior citizen kitty could keel over at any time (which, by all rights, she could!), but the most important thing is to enjoy the time you have with your furball. A diagnosis isn't necessarily a death sentence. With any luck, you'll have many more years with her. At worst, you've loved her right up until she crosses the rainbow bridge.

Edited July 14, 2015 by Omega Entity

[Gsea]

ED tw! Includes measurements.

 

Not sure why I'm bothering posting here but I guess I could use some emotional support because I think I'm developing some very bad eating habits or a possible eating disorder :/ I spent 2 years learning to love myself mentally/internally, and I succeeded - I love my mind, my personality, etc. But I have yet to tackle the task of loving myself physically and my body image is so terrible these days. I weigh myself multiple times a day, I skip meals, I calculate things like my BMI and energy (calorie) expenditure on a daily basis, I obsess over the calories of every little thing I eat, and I'm preoccupied with losing weight. I feel like I can't call it an ED yet because I binge about once a week, since I love food so much. Food is one of my favorite things in life and I have a terrible sweet tooth and I can eat ridiculous amounts without feeling full, so about once a week I am weak and I give in to my cravings, but the very next day I'm back to eating 1 piece of fruit to sustain me through the day and then picking at my dinner. I've been very thin and small my entire life, so I could eat whatever I wanted, but in the last year I've gained a bit of weight and it scares me.

I just wanted to update my older post a bit. I kinda got caught calorie-restricting by my mom (no surprise, I really wasn't subtle at all about wanting to eat less). She talked some sense into me and got me to start exercising, and I do power yoga a few times a week now. I've gone back into my old eating habits (which aren't healthy but oops I can't stop eating, it seems I'm only ever at an extreme end of the spectrum, restricting or just non-stop eating). I've definitely gained back the weight I lost while restricting, plus extra, which is kind of terrifying.

 

I was 97-98 lbs before I started restricting. Got down to 93-94 lbs before I started "recovery", and I'm now at 103 lbs. I've never been at triple digits before in my life, and I'm struggling with that quite a lot. (Just FYI, I'm a petite person. I'm 5'2 and have always been slim).

 

But it's sooo cool to look at my arms and legs and see muscles I've never seen on myself before. I feel stronger and sturdier. But I still have the voice at the back of my head telling me I don't really need to eat ice cream after dinner, that I'm going to get too big for my jeans, that I jiggle when I walk, etc.

 

So. Progress is being made. I'm kind of proud that I've actually made this much progress in such short time. Hopefully it can last and I won't freak out & start restricting again in the fall when I go shopping for jeans and see that I'm (probably) a size bigger.

 

I just hate hate hate the feeling of looking in the mirror and thinking I look gross, or the thought that when I go back to school in the fall, people will immediately notice how much weight I've gained. But exercise is addictive and for the first time in my life I have muscles (power yoga is surprisingly effective), and that is way more rewarding than seeing ribs & hipbones, which is what I wanted before.

Edited July 16, 2015 by glamoursea2

[Omega Entity]

One thing to keep in mind is that muscle weighs more than fat. So just because you're gaining weight, doesn't mean it's necessarily bad!

 

Also, I hate to break it to you, but everyone jiggles in some way! I'm borderline underweight (5'8", 120lbs), and there's plenty of jiggly bits to be had on me.

Edited July 16, 2015 by Omega Entity

[Shienvien]

One thing to keep in mind is that muscle weighs more than fat. So just because you're gaining weight, doesn't mean it's necessarily bad!

Seconding this. I managed to gain around 20 pounds of what seems to have been purely muscle over one period of time (all the way back when I first started university). Bizarrely enough, my body barely changed at all besides the muscles themselves.

 

(I've always been thin myself, and never really worried about eating. I'll start thinking on what I eat besides just "different things" once I hit 65kg or so - I am 1.77 for the record, or 5'9.5''.)

[Nellieville]

http://www.nick-prosch.de/wp-content/uploa...arshmallows.jpg

 

 

Thanks for the hot chocolate! I am here, just to get total peace and quiet. *sits down on the recliner with the mug of Hot Chocolate.*

 

 

My recliner.

 

http://inthomedesign.com/wp-content/upload...op-down-pic.jpg

[TehUltimateMage]

Since we're talking about possible eating disorders... I'm going to dump my current problems here. It's something that's been causing me endless frustration. (and before you worry, no, I don't think I have an eating disorder.)

 

I'm a big gal, though not a huge gal. 5'4 and a stable 185 lbs at 19, I clock in as just barely obese according to BMI (which I think is bogus). I've started exercising regularly now that it's summer, with marital arts classes for strength training combined with Couch to 5k to improve my cardio. I've learned to measure and control my portions, noticing that I eat much less than I used to two years ago, and I rarely impulse eat. Sweets and processed foods have no place in the house. I consume vegetables freely (funny how veggies taste better when you're older!) and drink plenty of water. Basically, everything common sense tells you that you're supposed to do.

 

Problem is, my family is making a big hoopla about nothing, and worse, they can't agree on how to approach it. Every single member seems to have a different opinion on the solution to my weight problem -- and I admit, some problems are my poor cardio(+the possibility of heart disease?) and my inability to fit into skinny jeans and knee high boots, the last one which causes me untold grief haha. My grandparents constantly argue about whether a low-protein or a low-carb diet is more beneficial, my aunt advocates the daily dose of coconut oil, another aunt talks about patting and massage therapy, my dad is an exercise nut, and my mom gets looped into fad diets every six months, etc. "You'd be prettier if you lost some weight!" is the comment I roll my eyes at the most. I want to shed the few pounds on my stomach, legs, and neck. It's just not happening, or not happening at the rate that everyone expects.

 

The worst is my mom, and I really hate railing on her but sometimes she really frustrates me with the way she looks at my foods in the fridge and (imo) sneers in disapproval. Every time she's gullible enough to fall for another fad, she loops me in for the ride with a combination of emotional blackmailing and "why won't you listen to mother?". I'm sure she has an eating disorder, insisting on trying these things herself to "lose weight" and barely eating (I get texts like "I had one apple for lunch today " and it freaks me out), even though she's (again, imo) nothing but skin and bones. I try to talk her into loving her body and reminding her to eat regularly, without much success. I wonder if passing your middle age does that to you mentally and makes you try to grab at least a sliver of what you used to be when you were younger.

 

The worst, worst part, is that the current diet she's trying (and forcing on me) is obviously expensive and is (imo) a scheme to sell this weight loss company's products. The morning cleanse or whatever tastes terrible and reeks of artificial kiwi (you know how grape medicine forever makes children hate artificial grape? It's kind of like that). She makes it for me every morning and watches me until I drink it and down a handful of pills. (As an aside, I've had this exchange several times and I still don't understand it: "I don't want to drink it." "In Starbucks, they charge you four dollars for a shot like this." ??????) I've lost six pounds to the program, then plateaued. I believe it's from water weight, since I had to cut carbs entirely for the month when I did it and then regained it when I went back to my old food. The worst are the two-day juice fasts every second week or so, where you just drink the provided juice, water, and eat only certain raw greens. I feel like a corpse on those days.

 

I'm currently at my grandparents' for my two-week martial arts summer camp that's drawing to a close (which I bike to every morning since this house is closer), with all the pills and weight-loss-brand snacks lumped in an untouched pile on the table. I haven't been eating them, instead resuming my usual balanced (I hope) and unprocessed diet supplemented with lemon water and protein shakes. I'm sure there are laxatives mixed into some of those pills so I haven't been taking them either (since I don't want any accidents at the dojo, lol). I'm just really nervous for the moment when she finds out that I've been ditching her program, blaming me for not following it and being the impulsive fatass that I am. She trust me enough to let me manage those things on my own, and I've all but smashed that trust. Oops. Can't say I feel bad about it.

[silver_tiger]

Yeah, BMI is moooostly bs. It's a good guide, but that's all it is. A guide.

 

I think that as long as you're exercising (which I desperately need to do more of, myself, I'm just lazy as all get out ) and eating healthy, that's good. And I completely agree that most fad-type diets are bogus. What's important is maintaining a good healthy diet and keeping yourself fit, and of course, feeling good about how you look. The diet your mother is forcing you to be on sounds horrific, especially those two-day fasts. As someone who ascribes to grazing (aka, eating little bits of food throughout the day and then modest 'main' meals for lunch and dinner) that just sounds awful to me.

 

I wish I could say 'just ignore her fad diets since you're over 18' but that gets complicated when you're still living under someone's roof. Good luck is the best I can say, and I hope she drops this one soon and picks up a more tolerable one.

Edited July 17, 2015 by silver_chan

[Shienvien]

I second that BMI is BS most of the time. You can be "obese" and nothing but bone and muscle and you can be "underweight" and more fat than is healthy to anyone. Body fat percentage and a mirror are much better things to judge oneself by.

 

(That fad diet sounds plain unhealthy. It's either all placebo or who knows what these pills actually do...)

[JavaTigress]

I second that BMI is BS most of the time. You can be "obese" and nothing but bone and muscle and you can be "underweight" and more fat than is healthy to anyone. Body fat percentage and a mirror are much better things to judge oneself by.

 

I third this.

 

Being VERY short but very solidly built, due to Turner's Syndrome, the BMI routinely says I am overweight when I am not.

AS a matter f fact, the BMI is noted for being inaccurate on people with my condition because of our build... and I am sure it is inaccurate for others as well.

 

AND I second Shienvien's comment that this 'diet' sounds unhealthy.

Choosing that for yourself is ONE thing but I don't KNOW about pushing it on others.

Edited July 17, 2015 by Silverswift

[Ansela Jonla]

I can't remember the last time I ever got a kind word from my dad. Every single little thing I do is wrong, in his eyes. Most of the time he's yelling at me; I'm in the way, I'm eating at the wrong time, I'm eating something he likes, I can't lift as much weight as my brother or for as long, I'm too antisocial, I have terrible taste in television, I talk too loudly, I'm not keeping the dogs quiet enough...

 

I just try to avoid him and stay in my room when he's home and awake, but sometimes I get it wrong and I'm out of my room feeding the dogs/myself when he gets home. Then he goes off at me, while my brother laughs.

[Omega Entity]

Waaait a second. He yells at you because you can't lift as much as your brother? If you're female, it's a physiological fact that most women just can't lift as much as a man can For that alone, your dad is an idiot.

 

For the rest, he's a d**k. Maybe he fosters some resentment that you're a daughter, rather than another son. That's the only reason I can think of that he would be so hard on you and not your brother, and either way, try not to let him get to you. He's an ***, and unfortunately his treatment of you is teaching your brother exactly how -not- to treat women.

Edited July 17, 2015 by Omega Entity

[Shienvien]

If you're female, it's a physiological fact that most women just can't lift as much as a man can.

To which I'll say, try me. Telling people "you'll never be able to be as strong because you're a woman" really rubs me the wrong way here... That said, how much you can lift (or other similar matter, especially if it is something you don't specialize in) is by no means a measurement of one's personal worth, male or female.

 

And I agree that the father is being a jerk.

[Omega Entity]

To which I'll say, try me. Telling people "you'll never be able to be as strong because you're a woman" really rubs me the wrong way here... That said, how much you can lift (or other similar matter, especially if it is something you don't specialize in) is by no means a measurement of one's personal worth, male or female.

 

And I agree that the father is being a jerk.

Thus why I specifically said most . Qualifiers, yo.

 

Like it or not, it is true. Some women can, indeed, lift more. But there are inherent differences in male and female physiology, and that plays a major role in the limitations of either respective sex.

[Obscure_Trash]

I really don't want to see a debate spark here again. There's a sexism thread this conversation could go in, at least. https://forums.dragcave.net/index.php?showtopic=122739

 

I do want to quickly note: this is a place of support - not a place to limit others. The issue here isn't that the poster can't lift as much as her brother (which isn't an issue - we're all individuals, of course we have differing strengths, talents, skills, weaknesses, personalities, etc.). It's that their dad is a jerk. Let's please focus on support/advice for that.

[Omega Entity]

It was meant as support, but my wording was poorly chosen. Apologies if it was taken otherwise.

 

But dropping it.

Edited July 17, 2015 by Omega Entity

[Shienvien]

So yeah: your father is a jerk, and you shouldn't be let down by whatever he takes issue with. Trust me, your best *is* good enough no matter what he says.

 

And don't give a damn about silly statistics stating that you can't do something as well just because you are something or other. We're all individuals not numbers in a data sheet, and we can achieve quite a lot others wouldn't expect if we just strive for it.

[Starscream]

Just a hug.

 

My Chef in college, pastry, chocolates and what not. Passed away yesterday.