Jump to content
Obscure_Trash

Emotional Support

Recommended Posts

Listening to my bummy/dark music....It usually helps but, I'm getting more and more depressed........

May I request that you please post in an easily-read size of text? We're here to offer support, but it's a tad inconsiderate to make people have to go through extra steps, just to be able to read your posts - you are posting to have people read what you write, after all.

Share this post


Link to post
Please do some research on how abuse affects people before telling them to "just walk away" because it is not that easy and that type of post doesn't belong in this thread. Edited by SockPuppet Strangler

Share this post


Link to post

May I request that you please post in an easily-read size of text? We're here to offer support, but it's a tad inconsiderate to make people have to go through extra steps, just to be able to read your posts - you are posting to have people read what you write, after all.

Sorry..it said: "Listening to my bummy/dark music....It usually helps but, I'm getting more and more depressed........"

 

 

Oh great. After working my sorry a$$ off trying to keep my grades up..as soon as my math grade falls to a 58, my mother acts like I don't give a Mudkip about my grades. Gee that's so ****ing optimistic. It's not my fault I'm a ****ing idiot...well....it is, not like I can help it, even if I've been trying for a long Kipz time now.. I ****ing give up. Just fail me and get this Kipz over with. I'm done.

 

 

 

*Crawls under bed to cry*

Edited by NoraNora

Share this post


Link to post

Two of my favorite 'must release tension' songs. lol There is a little profanity so proceed with caution.

 

 

 

 

 

Always makes me feel better. smile.gif

Edited by MedievalMystic

Share this post


Link to post

Recently I just came out to be sexually assaulted by one of my best friends boyfriends. My friends have been more than understanding and I love them even more because of it. But my parents are a different story. I have already given the police my statement. My parents refuse to respect my space and understand that i don't want to talk about it anymore. I just want to move on and not deal with them bringing it up every single time they see me.

 

How do I make them understand that bringing me to tears and making me scream at them to leave me alone is not helping.

 

 

And yes I am a minor. I'm 16 years old and in highschool.

Share this post


Link to post
Sorry..it said: "Listening to my bummy/dark music....It usually helps but, I'm getting more and more depressed........"

 

 

Oh great. After working my sorry a$$ off trying to keep my grades up..as soon as my math grade falls to a 58, my mother acts like I don't give a Mudkip about my grades. Gee that's so ****ing optimistic. It's not my fault I'm a ****ing idiot...well....it is, not like I can help it, even if I've been trying for a long Kipz time now.. I ****ing give up. Just fail me and get this Kipz over with. I'm done.

 

 

 

*Crawls under bed to cry*

what Mathematics are you taking. shoot me a PM and i maybe able to help you walk through some of the problems. i wont do them for you, but i can always give it a go trying to explain them and help you with homework.

 

i'm getting my bachelors in Mathematics, so like i said, shoot me a PM if you need some help with math.

 

sometimes, its the teacher and not the student when it comes to mathematics. not always, but i've had some math classes where the teacher is horrible at teaching the subject.

Share this post


Link to post
what Mathematics are you taking. shoot me a PM and i maybe able to help you walk through some of the problems. i wont do them for you, but i can always give it a go trying to explain them and help you with homework.

 

i'm getting my bachelors in Mathematics, so like i said, shoot me a PM if you need some help with math.

 

sometimes, its the teacher and not the student when it comes to mathematics. not always, but i've had some math classes where the teacher is horrible at teaching the subject.

Sent a PM....I highly doubt I'll be able to get through this..no matter how much help I get, I always censorkip.gif it up somehow..

Share this post


Link to post
Recently I just came out to be sexually assaulted by one of my best friends boyfriends. My friends have been more than understanding and I love them even more because of it. But my parents are a different story. I have already given the police my statement. My parents refuse to respect my space and understand that i don't want to talk about it anymore. I just want to move on and not deal with them bringing it up every single time they see me.

 

How do I make them understand that bringing me to tears and making me scream at them to leave me alone is not helping.

 

 

And yes I am a minor. I'm 16 years old and in highschool.

i'm sorry for your situation but you did the right thing, and the brave thing, by telling people and going to the police. never doubt that for a minute.

 

you're parents are just trying to be there for you in the only way they know how. try telling them, in a calm way when the subject hasn't been brought up, that you're trying to deal with this and while you appreciate their concern and know their just trying to help, that talking with them isn't helping you its just making you more stressed out and that you'd rather talk to a professional who deals in these sorts of traumatic experiences.

 

i would certainty suggest a professional either way. they can help with coming to terms and processing the assault in a fashion that is healthy and will help you to deal with it throughout your life. you'll go through stages, blaming, anger, confusion, rejection, ect. talking about it is the first step to dealing with it. sometimes you'll think you've gotten over it, but then something may happen to trigger a relapse. every person is different, but having a professional to help you is something you need to consider if you already arent.

 

like i said, your parents are just trying to help and while its not helping right now, take solace in the fact that they care enough to try and help. i'm happy for you, that you have a good support system to help you through something like this *hugs* good luck

Share this post


Link to post

My dad would never agree to that. I think my parents actually want to press charges. I dont want to deal with this anymore. I just want everything to go back to normal.........

Share this post


Link to post

Oh my god. There's a storm. It's not THAT bad but..I'm afraid of storms...Blegh, go away. I don't need you right nooww....this is not mixing well with my Depressed state..*scurries into closet* Nope. Just Nope. alot.pngsad.gif

Share this post


Link to post

My friend in Australia has a really bad flu right now and I just

I'm worried she might die

 

I'm really sorry your friend is sick. Don't worry too much, the vast majority of people recover from the flu without a hitch.

Share this post


Link to post
My dad would never agree to that. I think my parents actually want to press charges. I dont want to deal with this anymore. I just want everything to go back to normal.........

I understand that so well, but the unfortunate truth is that you have to deal with it. Not necessarily in the way your parents think is the best or in a way that anyone here recommends, but you have to deal with it in some way. Dealing is the only way back to normal. Hiding doesn't work even if it sounds so tempting.

 

Do you mean your Dad wouldn't agree to you seeing a therapist? It sounds like your parents do care, so it can't hurt to try. The most important thing is to stay calm and bring it up on your own. If you cry and scream during arguments that is easy for them to misinterpret. They will only see that you are upset and unhappy and unable to handle the whole situation, not why and they will want to help. Making you talk is the only way they know how and the whole circle starts all over again.

 

I would definitely recommend seeing a therapist. They really do help and they have a lot of experience with talking and also with not talking. They have professional distance which can be a huge relief. All feelings of guilt, sorrow and embarrassment take a step back and you aren't entangled in an emotional relationship with them like you are with your parents.

 

It can be difficult for parents to accept that their child would rather talk to a stranger, especially when they want to be there for you and do everything right. Just say that you understand that, but that it is still the way it is and that you are already dealing with a lot of confusing emotions. You don't need the added guilt of their hurt. Assure them that you are thankful that they want to help, but to please accept that giving you room to breathe and allowing you to talk to someone else is the best way they can help you. Tell them you're not trying to distance yourself from them and that you trust and love them but that the situation just isn't working out in the current way.

 

I have no advice about pressing charges. I would do it, but there is no right answer that applies for everyone. A therapist could help you work out what you really want and also help you to discuss that with your parents.

Share this post


Link to post

There is a family therapist but I dont trust her at all. And knowing my dad if I asked he would probably get upset and start yelling again about me not wanting to talk to him about anything.

 

To give some background knowledge I have a very rocky relationship with my parents with them being a very large factor in my suicide attempt back in September.

Share this post


Link to post
About the asexual thing... for the longest time, no one believed me either. I'm almost 30, and my father still occasionally gives me a talk about why I should get married. He doesn't even want grandkids, but he's concerned that I'll be foreveralone and also the tax benefits marriage gives people. I keep telling him I can live just fine with a roommate--and in fact, I am doing just that now. But no matter how often I try to explain this ace thing to him, he just doesn't get it. I even said that if he could find me a man who didn't want sex, I'd marry him, to try and explain it in terms he'd understand (though I know male ace persons exist, I just don't know any personally).

 

And no one else in my family gets it either. Even though I am female-bodied and living with a female ace person, my sister (who knows full-well that I'm ace) has asked if we're dating. We're not, even though we are quite good friends. The point that I'm trying to make with all this is... you're going to have to embrace your asexuality with the understanding that it's highly likely no one else in your life will 'get' it. I hope someone does. I hope you find friends who embrace you for who you are, and I certainly hope the internet will always be sympathetic to your ace issues. And it sucks and it's occasionally hard and often highly frustrating. But in the end, the only one you have to prove yourself to is you.

 

/offers jedi hugs

Thank you so much. I can't tell you how many times I get, "but you're still straight, right?" Um. I'm asexual, not heterosexual. Its hard enough with people being confused about that, but I'm panromantic. I'm really okay with not getting married, but my mom is just begging me for kids. To make matters worse, I'm not good with kids. I mean, kids are cool, but I can't handle all of the crying and yelling, not to mention birth. It just gives me shudders... Thank you for the support - seems like the only other person who cares is my best friend.

Share this post


Link to post

Hi. Sooo basically I came here to share my feelings. Which I'm pretty bad at. But I'm going to give it a shot since I really need to get all of this off my chest. In case you don't know me, I'm Polar, and I'm pretty active in the RP section. Anyways, here goes.

 

For quite a few years now I've had serious self-esteem issues and probably struggle with slight depression. I'm really judgemental of myself and tend to be my own worst enemy, so if I'm not automatically good at something I get discouraged pretty easily and want to chuck something at a wall. This all started back in third grade, which was the last good year I had until eighth grade. Back then I was a really friendly, outgoing, super-sweet person. I'm talking greeted everyone, loved company, and tended to talk a bit more than I should have. Anyways, a new girl started going to school (nothing new there) who was trying to split apart me and my best friend (soul sister, more like). I disliked her, but I wasn't a mean person and there was really nothing I could do about it. Now, I might have unwittingly brought some of it unto myself as my best friend and I tended to unintentionally leave others out of our games and such, so she was my only true close friend.

 

Fast forward to two weeks or so before the start of fourth grade, which was when things really started to go downhill. The private school I went to knew my bond with my best friend so they would put us in the same class. Now as I mentioned earlier, I was a very outgoing person so I wasoften at a friend's house. When I got home one day my mom told me I needed to call my best friend because there was something she needed to tell me. She was moving. Two weeks before the start of fourth grade and my best friend was moving. I must've cried for hours because I just remember my mom holding me the whole time. It might have been better if more people I knew were in my class, but there were two fourth grade classes and only one person (besides my best friend) that was in my class last year was with me in fourth grade, which only made matters worse. That year I played a lot with the boys while the girls (led by the new girl mentioned earlier) would walk and talk around the playground. So I basically secluded myself from the girls and hung with the boys. That year wasn't too bad, but a lot of my old girl friends started brushing me off/ignoring me so I just played with the boys.

 

Now if we speed up to fifth grade (my last year in that school) most of the kids from my third grade class were back in the same classroom again. In fifth grade, guys were getting to the age when it was "uncool" to play with girls, so I didn't play with them as much and hung out with some of the girls instead. But instead of hanging out with the girls, I was either made fun of or ignored completely and treated like a baby, coming to the point where I'd be crying my eyes out because I hated going to school. The boys barely played with me anymore and all the girls practically hated me, and it got so extreme that I started hating myself without even realizing it. Now at this point my family was also having issues with my brother who would be sent to the principal because theteachers didn't know how to deal with him. He's a good kid but really hyper and slightly autistic, so he got in trouble often for being to hyper or not listening.

 

My dad had actually urged my mom to homeschool us my fifth grade year but she didn't because she didn't believe she could do it. So I'm miserable, my brother was constantly in trouble for things that sometimes weren't even his FAULT, and my parents (who are fantastic, I must say) are trying - and failing - to sort everything out at the school. I forget to mention that the school is alsoa church which we went to at the time, so when my mom pulled us out to homeschool us things just got worse from there. My parents were having serious issues with what the pastor was teaching and the amount of favouratism was horrendous, so we ended up leaving the church. In retaliation, the church ordered all their members to ignore the families that had left for similar reasons, including us.

 

At this point I had become super depressed and a shell of my own self, just doing my schoolwork before burying my nose in an endless stream of books or engrossing myself in a video game. My parents were really concerned and too be completely honest I can barely remember anything from my fourth through my seventh grade years. Before my seventh grade year my dad got a good job offer so we moved, so seventh grade was an especially difficult year because I had no friends and was in a new place. Things slowly got better as we found a good church and I made some friends but even now, several years later, I still struggle with trusting people past the initial friendship stage or being among large groups.

 

I was really what you'd call a doormat when I was younger but I eventually toughened up and became extremely sarcastic with a dry sense of humor. It's still really difficult for me to open up to people and my parents don't even know the true extent of what I went through. There are days when I feel so depressed that I'd like to just curl up in a hole and die, but somehow I manage to get through them with music and a whole lot of Doctor Who. It's difficult to be homeschooled in a church where most are in public school and are more concerned with how many instagram followers they have than actually getting to know you as a person. I'm still really insecure and tend to be unnecessarily sarcastic towards someone who gets on my nerves (a knee-jerk reaction) even though I know they really don't mean anything by it. It's also difficult because I'm at a much higher maturity/intelligence level than the rest of my peers, to the point where my Sunday school teachers won't call on me because I know all the answers. I also get really edgy around large groups as I tend to analyze people and what they do (again, a knee-jerk reaction) so it makes me extremely anxious to be among large groups, especially when loud noises are involved.

 

Anyways, I'm just kinda screwed up and I'm thankful that my parents are so patient with me considering how difficult it is to get me to talk to people - even ones that I KNOW (so let's not even get started on boys I like) but they were always so gentle, staying close when I went somewhere new and they know I get really shy. My brother is the exact opposite (bless him) and if I had to go through all of that so that he wouldn't have to, I'd do it in a heartbeat.

 

Anyways, there are my feelings. Yay. Here's a cookie for reading it *gives everyone who read a cookie* I'll also be rooting for everyone else with issues, family or otherwise, cause I know what it's like to go through something like that alone and I would never wish it on anyone else. Anywhoo, there's that. And this post took forever to write. Ugh. I also apolize for any typos as I'm on mobile and am too busy to go back and review all this wink.gif

Share this post


Link to post

Indeed, sounds more like a cult than a church. I'd say your family's better off without it, or anyone in it who'd actually shun you, polaristar.

Share this post


Link to post

Offers hugs all around to those who need it.

 

silver_chan and emomera - In my opinion what matters most is that you are happy with who you are and your situation, regardless of whether you are asexual or not.

 

polaristar - I am so glad you are out of that situation.

 

It was just a long and draining day for me. Currently our division is working on Strengths Training and the Department's mission/vision/values, which is kind of a crock mainly because the mission statement talks about respecting each other, and well, those of us at the bottom, kinda don't. We are overworked and understaffed. There is a meeting for our division this Thursday and we've been the ones planning and setting things up and prepping (there are three of us), and I'm just not feeling it.

Share this post


Link to post
-snip-

Although you may be a mother of two sons in their 20's, I am a 17 (a month away from being 18) year old - aka a young adult - who's had to put up with my step father. I go to my mother's house to help her and her only because my stepfather is a useless slob.

 

Like sock did note, when I am over there I am a visitor - I do not live there, nor do I want to - so I am technically a guest. It is just like a friend of yours demanding you clean up their mess when you visit, it's rude and honestly off-putting.

 

I paid my board when I did live with my parents, and even now I still give my mum money to help her get by. But Mystic, regardless of how your sons behave, keep in mind that i'm not your son either. My step father should not expect me to clean up after him when I visit the house - though I do clean up after myself, as any person would do - regardless of the situation I am always expected to clean up after him, and I shouldn't have to.

Share this post


Link to post

Not sure why I'm bothering posting here but I guess I could use some emotional support because I think I'm developing some very bad eating habits or a possible eating disorder :/ I spent 2 years learning to love myself mentally/internally, and I succeeded - I love my mind, my personality, etc. But I have yet to tackle the task of loving myself physically and my body image is so terrible these days. I weigh myself multiple times a day, I skip meals, I calculate things like my BMI and energy (calorie) expenditure on a daily basis, I obsess over the calories of every little thing I eat, and I'm preoccupied with losing weight. I feel like I can't call it an ED yet because I binge about once a week, since I love food so much. Food is one of my favorite things in life and I have a terrible sweet tooth and I can eat ridiculous amounts without feeling full, so about once a week I am weak and I give in to my cravings, but the very next day I'm back to eating 1 piece of fruit to sustain me through the day and then picking at my dinner. I've been very thin and small my entire life, so I could eat whatever I wanted, but in the last year I've gained a bit of weight and it scares me.

Share this post


Link to post

It's perfectly natural for some people to start gaining weight as they get older due to metabolic changes. That said, that sincerely sounds like an eating disorder - or that you're well on your way to one.

 

Seek help before it gets worse.

Edited by Omega Entity

Share this post


Link to post
-snip-

ED tw

 

Hon, I'm going to definitely say seek help. You basically just listed everything off about what I do, and I was recently diagnosed with an ED. It really didn't come as a shocker to me because I've recognized my cycling (I go through cycles of not eating and then binge eating basically) over the past 8 years of my doing it.

Don't think of gaining weight as a terrible thing. You could be building muscle, which weighs more than fat. Your hormones can be fluctuating, maybe you're retaining a bit more water weight. There's so many factors to a few pounds gain that really are not horrible.

 

I'm not the best with words, my apologies. I often sound harsh so if I did I apologize.

But really, please scoot in and see someone before it gets worse. Things may be fine and all now, but it's very easy for EDs to suddenly spiral out, so nipping them early is a good way to make sure they don't c:

Share this post


Link to post

Ugh.

 

Block exams are starting tomorrow, and one of my exams is an analytical essay. This would be fine, if it wasn't a Physics test.

 

I have done two in-class essays for a science subject in the past, and both times I've been pulled out due to having a panic attack. I'm so worried that that'll happen again, because I'm actually good at Physics, and I don't want my current grades to drop because of my censorkip.gif Anxiety Disorder.

 

What makes it worse is that I've never done a Physics essay before. I usually get 'A's when writing English essays, and never freak out when taking them. It's just the science ones (Chemistry, to be exact).

 

Just wanted to get that off my chest, sorry.

Share this post


Link to post

Although you may be a mother of two sons in their 20's, I am a 17 (a month away from being 18) year old - aka a young adult - who's had to put up with my step father. I go to my mother's house to help her and her only because my stepfather is a useless slob.

 

Like sock did note, when I am over there I am a visitor - I do not live there, nor do I want to - so I am technically a guest. It is just like a friend of yours demanding you clean up their mess when you visit, it's rude and honestly off-putting.

 

I paid my board when I did live with my parents, and even now I still give my mum money to help her get by. But Mystic, regardless of how your sons behave, keep in mind that i'm not your son either. My step father should not expect me to clean up after him when I visit the house - though I do clean up after myself, as any person would do - regardless of the situation I am always expected to clean up after him, and I shouldn't have to.

 

 

You don't have to go to your mothers house to help her, not if you're being verbally abused when you do. She should get it. She's a grown adult, responsible for her own household. You aren't responsible for her, or her house. Period. You don't live there. I wasn't disagreeing with you about the stepfather. I'm just saying that if it's causing you that much grief, you shouldn't subject yourself to it and your mom should be completely understanding as to why you don't want to go over there. If I were you, I'd stay far away.

 

My sons are good, they're just dealing with a blip on the screen atm. They do what they have to, when they have to, 99.99% of the time and don't complain. They know how life works.

Edited by MedievalMystic

Share this post


Link to post
There is a family therapist but I dont trust her at all. And knowing my dad if I asked he would probably get upset and start yelling again about me not wanting to talk to him about anything.

 

To give some background knowledge I have a very rocky relationship with my parents with them being a very large factor in my suicide attempt back in September.

well for therapy to work there has to be a bit of trust on your end, and if you dont trust your family therapist then you certainly need to seek outside counseling. not to mention that a family therapist might not be qualified to properly deal with your situation. its like trying to go to the family doctor for a gyno visit; in some situations you need a specialized person to handle the situation correctly *nods*

 

the police officer you reported to should have a list of councilors that specialize in sexual assault survivors and support groups for people who have been through situations like yourself.

 

idk how old you are, but tell the officer about your situation at home and that you need outside emotional support to help process what happened. explain that your history with your parents makes it hard to communicate with them, or your family therapist, in a situation like this. if all else fails, seek help with your guidance counselor at school, they may have someone they can recommend for you to go see or that could come and see you even.

 

 

 

like blah said, you have to deal with it, not hide from it. this is called "taking control" and is very important to being a survivor in instances like this. parents can be hard to deal with in a normal situation, the added stress and emotion and hurt of this situation. they find it hard to see past "someone hurt my daughter" and are experiencing the pain of this. not only that, but also the guilt of 'i failed in protecting my daughter from harm'. i say this not to excuse their actions, but so you can try to see the situation from their POV. so your dad is reacting the way any parent would, he's trying to help and the only way he knows how is to get you talking ... even if its you screaming at him, its still you talking. and in his mind he's helping.

 

in reality, he's not; because its probably pushing you further in on yourself and making you not want to talk about it.

 

 

if you cant verbally express to your dad that you need someone outside of the family and not your family therapist to talk to, can you try writing it to him? or going to your mom and explaining to her about how you feel, that its not that you dont want to talk to them, just that in this situation its not helping and you need something more than their support to help get through this.

Share this post


Link to post


  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.