Jump to content
Obscure_Trash

Emotional Support

Recommended Posts

~Removed~ Edited by SockPuppet Strangler

Share this post


Link to post
I don't know how many different ways I can say "when people say no, this is a thread where you need to back off" to make it clear enough. I will start banning people from this thread if they cannot follow the rules. This thread isn't about you, as the one giving advice. It's about the person who posted for support. If they say your post hurt rather than helped, then it's time to back off, not sit around spamming the thread with arguing. This is not a debate topic.

Share this post


Link to post

Okay, here's the scoop. I don't want to tell everyone WHY it's a special day for me, but it is. I have gotten used to this stupid lousy gastroparesis issue that I have had. It's caused too much of a riot in my life. I've gotten botox shot into my piloric valve. (Somewhere in my stomach) to make it relax, AND had a stupid ballon blown up to stretch it. Gastric emptying studies, flouroscopies, stupid stupid stupid. I missed halloween. I am MISSING this day BECAUSE OF THIS NASTY ISSUE!I haven't been able to go to school in months, and now I'm very slowly getting back in it, 1 period at a time. 7th, now I'm at 6th, and I'm much to tired to attempt 5th. But I'm SO MAD because I CANNOT CELEBRATE THIS DAY! Can't do anything, can't go to school, can't go see my baby bird (Most depressing of all.) I'm just SO SICK! I decided this was a good place to vent.

 

Thank you for listening.

 

~Emma

I have a lot of gastrointestinal issues myself, and I know how both physically excruciating and generally irritating they can be (not to mention stressful and mentally defeating). If your innards are having a bad day, you're having a bad day, end of story. I don't think people without such issues really get the full gist of it, unless someone close to them has such problems. My sister, for example, has a lot of sympathy for me simply because she sees what my problems can do to me. I've spent nights sleeping on the bathroom floor, because the constant cold in the tile is all that will soothe my stomach. There are other weird things I've done/had to do to try and get relief too. Even though my issues aren't the same as yours, I really feel for you. I hope your body starts to heal and reach a manageable state so that you can at least start to lead a normal life again.

Edited by Wahya

Share this post


Link to post

Oh my God that must be horrible, EmmaD333. I rarely get stomach pains, but I am quite familiar with bowel pain and what happens afterward. I have IBS and sometimes it gets so painful I can't function without taking a pain killer for it. Are you not allowed to take pepto-bismol or anything for your troubles? Also, can't friends come and visit while you're stuck at home? That may take the edge of emotional pain off if you knew you had the support of friends and family to back you up. I hope you feel better and get things with school back in order. smile.gif

Share this post


Link to post

Emma: I'm sorry you have to deal with that. :c I hope it eases up on you at least a little bit to where it's bearable someday! Or maybe even gets totally cured.

Share this post


Link to post

ugh i'm so s orry i just need support rn i am so upset

 

so i have two friends we'll call them p and b

 

b and i had a falling out because we had an argument over this thing and it's worth mentioning both she and i suffer from depression so we kinda took it out on each other and i'm really not proud of what i said but basically yeah background info is basically there was this game and p and i got married on it for fun but then b was like no i wanna marry p but since p and i were pretty happy together and enjoying the experience i told her no and there was this huge argument i'm really not proud of it u gh

 

so tonight

p added me to a voice call with b

where they both just

proceeded to insult me and tell me how horrible i was

 

i was visibly shaking i told them to stop i was like //laughs nervously// "yeah i know i'm horrible can we just not"

 

and like ?? they laughed it off as a joke?? they were like 'oh we're just kidding plus you insulted b didn't you you're horrible and annoying and'

 

and i just ???

and honestly halfway i just sorted snapped i was like yeah ok i know i'm horrible. what do you want me to do about it, laugh??

 

and p just called me a censorkip.gif??? like no kidding she literally just called me a censorkip.gif???

which really insults me because i have another close friend named e and she and i call each other the same word for fun bc we know we're kidding

but it honestly felt like

an insult the way p said it

i just

dont even know how to feel???

 

i'm visibly shaking and so upset right now like i know i know i messed up i know i was upset i know i said things to b i'm sorry i'm sorry how many times do you want me to apologise i know i'm awful i hate myself enough without you telling me it without you making it a joke

 

and at the end p told me

the vc was to make b feel better

she literally had a vc where she could insult me

just so that

b could feel better

and when i told them that this was kinda affecting me b told me to stop being childish

which is a huge insult bc she always uses my age against me ( i'm fourteen, she's twenty-two if i remember correctly, p is sixteen ), and she says things like how i'm so young i can't even understand the 'pain she feels' and during the argument we had she told me how she expected me to be mature but obviously you can't expect that of a fourteen year old

so i just ???

i'm so upset i can't even they just told me they just outright told me i was horrible they told me i bullied b and that i wrecked her feelings and made her depressed they told me how much i was like all of her other backstabbing friends and how they were surprised people even liked me b couldn't even read what i was typing p had to read it out loud for her because she was disgusted even being in the same chatroom as me

 

and i'm just so?? upset and afraid?? because b has told me she's said that she's angry at me she's screamed at me that she would kill me because she was so so angry at me and she hated me so so much she didn't want me to even live

 

and?? p messaged me after the voiceecall she asked me if i was satisfied what is there to be satisfied about what do you think could possibly make me happy about this situation what do you even think would make me happy why did you ask me if i was satisfied

 

it's been like ??? twenty minutes since then but i still can't stop shaking i just want to self harm so badly because i'm so upset never ever has this happened to me never has anyone just told me to my face everything i think of myself i don't know how to act right now i don't even know if i can breathe

 

i am so so sorry i ever snapped at b i'm so sorry for being so stupid i'm just so sorry i'm stupid i'm mean i'm horrible i'm so so sorry for my entire existence

Edited by Lady_Lunevis

Share this post


Link to post

I'm so sorry that happened! I hope everything gets better. D: *hugs*

 

Clearly those "friends" aren't true friends. You shouldn't associate with people who will only drag you down.

 

Don't you dare apologize for your existence! For as long as I've known you, I've known you to be kind and caring to others and able to offer sympathy and advice even when *I* could not, all at the expense of your own mental stability with having to listen to everyone's plights constantly. You're a very selfless individual and as far as I could tell, I honestly had no idea you were as young as you were until you had mentioned it this one time and I was surprised! I thought you were at least my age!

 

From what I can tell, I don't think P was exactly trying to be mean; I have a sneaking suspicion she was manipulated by B given the situations you described. However, I don't think any further relationship with her is healthy, considering it seems like she still wants to side with B and you've had a falling out.

 

You can't force a relationship, and you certainly can't force one to be fixed. Time can sometimes heal old relationships, with the parties involved generally forming a new one rather than trying to mend the old one, but I'm sorry to say I don't think you're going to be on friendly terms with either of these people again very soon. :c

 

If I were you, I would distance myself from them and find some nice quiet things to entertain me for a while, maybe even talk to other friends or old acquaintances if I really want the company. Who cares if they might think you're "childish" for blocking them or think you're just "running away"- you'd be doing something healthier for you and it's not like they seem to want you to stay around.

 

Forget them, they aren't friends. Yes, friends may get into fights but true friends would at least feel some remorse and not further guilt the other party. They would try to apologize.

Share this post


Link to post
I'm so sorry that happened! I hope everything gets better. D: *hugs*

 

Clearly those "friends" aren't true friends. You shouldn't associate with people who will only drag you down.

 

Don't you dare apologize for your existence! For as long as I've known you, I've known you to be kind and caring to others and able to offer sympathy and advice even when *I* could not, all at the expense of your own mental stability with having to listen to everyone's plights constantly. You're a very selfless individual and as far as I could tell, I honestly had no idea you were as young as you were until you had mentioned it this one time and I was surprised! I thought you were at least my age!

 

From what I can tell, I don't think P was exactly trying to be mean; I have a sneaking suspicion she was manipulated by B given the situations you described. However, I don't think any further relationship with her is healthy, considering it seems like she still wants to side with B and you've had a falling out.

 

You can't force a relationship, and you certainly can't force one to be fixed. Time can sometimes heal old relationships, with the parties involved generally forming a new one rather than trying to mend the old one, but I'm sorry to say I don't think you're going to be on friendly terms with either of these people again very soon. :c

 

If I were you, I would distance myself from them and find some nice quiet things to entertain me for a while, maybe even talk to other friends or old acquaintances if I really want the company. Who cares if they might think you're "childish" for blocking them or think you're just "running away"- you'd be doing something healthier for you and it's not like they seem to want you to stay around.

 

Forget them, they aren't friends. Yes, friends may get into fights but true friends would at least feel some remorse and not further guilt the other party. They would try to apologize.

ohh thank you //hugs back// yeah, i do too!! i was just slightly panicking when i wrote that and i took a shower to calm down since then so i'm doing ok!! <33

 

aa yeah i figured a long time ago :c honestly that's why b and i don't talk much??? but i honestly considered p a really good friend and the way she just agreed rly shocked me ,,,

 

ohhh thank you so much!!!! <33 aa it makes me really happy to hear that!! i'm not nearly as selfless ( almost wrote shelfless w ow ) as you make it sound aa thank you so much <33

honestly, i do miss helping people out in the thread sometimes this was a really great and caring place!! but you're correct; i do need to place my mental health first and i have a while to go for healing--but we'll see how it goes!!

ohh thank you so much <33 i think above all her comments just really shocked me bc i have a really hard time believing compliments and i always put myself down ( i'm working on that ) so to hear that straight from someone else just made it so much worse and hearing this really does help, thank yo uso much <333 i'm not trying to be vain or anything but aaa thank you <33

 

aaa yeah honestly--i feel like p didn't really realise what she was saying??? i can't fault her for being a friend to b and i know b hates me so it would be natural for her to side with the person she feels more connected to--so i can't fault her there.

yeah, maybe : ^ | i mean p is a really nice person and she's been really nice to me before but i feel like as long as she's friends w b it's just really really hard for me to stay with her because things this will happen

i know p kind of wants to please everyone and because of that she's going to end up hurting someone; b is important to her so i'll respect that. e has told me multiple times too to get away from p and b just because, although they're good people, we just don't mix well and we've had a lot of clashes like this, though none this bad. honestly, b and i never got along well and that's what chased our other friend, h, away, and pushed everything onto p. : ^ | i think i realise now that i really do have to leave for my mental health and theirs. it's really just ... not fun to hate all the time.

i really don't know how to break it to p though?? she's protective of her friends no matter what and i know she would sit me down, demand i rant it out and go back to being friends again because she and i are really nice together--but i don't want to have this repeat because we're friends, nor do i want to force her to choose between b or i--it's just really complicated. i have no idea how i'm going to leave without upsetting someone, and i'm also scared i'll go crawling back to p again--she's been part of my life for the last three years and it's just really hard to let that go : ' ^ )

 

aaa yeah exactly :c honestly i used to think i understood b because she and i were pretty similar, but now i have no idea what she thinks and if she would consider trying to mend a relationship--and even then i have doubts that it'd go well.

i'm sorry too, but you're right. i don't think it's going to be healthy to me or them to continue, and even if we did i would still be haunted by what's happened. so i think the best course would be to get away--but like i said above, i'm afraid. i might consider asking p simply not to talk about b again, but i honestly don't know if that'd do much ??? eventually she's going to hurt me again because it's just happened a lot or i'm going to hurt her and we're going to wreck things away and it's just a repeat i'm tired of happening.

 

ooo thank you so much!! <33 i was thinking of that, actually; e suggested i make a new skype since i only talk to them on skype, so i might just do that and stay on the new one if times get hard and i don't want to have to deal with negative things. it might be better for them too; i'll just say school has been busy. thank you so much!! <33

 

i've figured that by now, thank you--i suppose before i always believed that b and i would somehow just become friends again, but now i know that it's not going to do anything good. i don't want to be upset by them nor have to go to my other friends and this thread as an emotional wreck--it would be better if i just started anew.

 

thank you so much for this lovely reply aaa <33 it's really helped me calm down and look at things more clearly--i know i'm going to have to take a while to feel better about what was said, but i think what i'll do is stay off skype for a few days and then make a new one and start using that one more and more. thank you so much; i'm sorry for bothering you and aa thank you for taking some time out of your day/night to reply, it means a lot!!! <33

Share this post


Link to post

Hey Lunevis dear <3 I'm so, so sorry to hear what happened. I can't say I know and understand what you're going through since I've never had friends turn on me, but I can imagine what it must be like. I can't put anything better than Eef did because I'm so not eloquent with my writing, but I can say that I absolutely agree with her and I can also say that you're one of the sweetest friends I've had and I don't want you to be in harm's way and dealing with this nonsense and and come here and have a cookie or something <333

Share this post


Link to post

What eef and rw said! Also, these people do not sound like friends, and I have to wonder at the mentality of a 20 year old that hangs with a 16 and 14 year old, and is calling the youngest one childish! And calling you to insult you to make the adult feel better?! You're one of the nicest, most mature people that I've ever met, and I was *shocked* when I realized how young you are, from your advice I would've guessed at least 10 years older! Anyway, my advice to you is passed on from Ann Landers, ask yourself this-are you better off with them or without them?

Edited by prpldrgnfr

Share this post


Link to post

Alright. I have a big emotional problem going on since the break. Well, my sister persuaded me to participate in this huala bala of a thing that I can't understand. I am quite suspicious but then she said to just go because she knows what she is doing. And I went because I don't want her saying "I told you so" after some time. And it's bothering me because there is money involved.

 

Full rant is on this thread: https://forums.dragcave.net/index.php?showt...0entry8500284

 

I am having paranoia. Voices in my head. Saying that my money might be gone in a blink. It's because I'm seeing earning is so easy. It's quite simple and easy that it is becoming suspicious. Also, it is like gambling.

 

Oh, what to do? I want to withdraw all my cash. Close my account. But to do so in secret so she won't be surprised and scold me for wasting investment. sad.gif Advice? I don't want to deal with things I am not familiar with. I am no risk taker.

 

Apologies for long post.

Share this post


Link to post
Okay, here's the scoop. I don't want to tell everyone WHY it's a special day for me, but it is. I have gotten used to this stupid lousy gastroparesis issue that I have had. It's caused too much of a riot in my life. I've gotten botox shot into my piloric valve. (Somewhere in my stomach) to make it relax, AND had a stupid ballon blown up to stretch it. Gastric emptying studies, flouroscopies, stupid stupid stupid. I missed halloween. I am MISSING this day BECAUSE OF THIS NASTY ISSUE!I haven't been able to go to school in months, and now I'm very slowly getting back in it, 1 period at a time. 7th, now I'm at 6th, and I'm much to tired to attempt 5th. But I'm SO MAD because I CANNOT CELEBRATE THIS DAY! Can't do anything, can't go to school, can't go see my baby bird (Most depressing of all.) I'm just SO SICK! I decided this was a good place to vent.

 

Thank you for listening.

 

~Emma

Sending hugs to you, EmmaD333!

Crohn's disease here... Hate the miserable gastro stuff, yucky treatments, and just not being able to do the good things in life that I really look forward to! Hang in there for now. You should pm me if you ever want to talk or commiserate!

 

I hope you progressively get better, but am very sorry you missed a special day. That is so maddening!

Share this post


Link to post

Lady_Lunevis, you are not a horrible person.

 

Your "friends" involved in that sound cruel and manipulative. It sounds like they baited you into an argument for their own amusement. True friends don't belittle each other and claim they are joking like that. Especially not if they truly understand when you have an issue like depression.

 

Take some space and get positive stuff going in life with different people who treat you the way you deserve.

Share this post


Link to post

Reply firstly to Lady_Lunevis. I shall speak in third person. I am so angry with p & b. What in the world are they thinking. One, Lady_Lunevis is a very nice person. She is sweet and kind. They shouldn't insult herlike that. That video chat is over the line. Two, it's just a game of no consequence. Both p and b should stop being childish themselves. Why, by their ages they are the ones who are immature because they are adults (16 and approx. 22). Give Lunevis some space. She's only fourteen years of age so it's just understandable. No regards to feelings indeed! Last, p and b can just go together after Lunevis and p is done. Easy solution. No need to fus. I can't stand all your issues.

 

In addition, I have a strange feeling of Lady_Lunevis as my foster little sister, Camille, as they have some similarities; and I want to make her a greeting card with a poem about happy things. I hope I can pursue this. I always follow these strange feelings. They are super wise.

 

Now, regarding my problem. After reading my post, I can easily find solutions, looking at it in a third person perspective. I think I am lacking self-confidence and am not proactive. I should know what to do. I am a being who has the freedom to choose for myself. I shouldn't let others dictate. Anyway, I've been diligently studying the science of this mumbo jumbo business, I know that I have more knowledge than all these stupid unsatisfactory and lazy answers I've been getting from these stupid people and syupid experts. If those foolish experts can only give me garbage for answers to my reasonable questiins, then they're no experts and I am smarter than them. I can go my own way. My "idiot mode" and seemingly foolish actions and decisions have been generating me money and I shall stick to that!

 

Disclaimer: I am not making a revolution or making a new religion. I don't want ANYONE to follow my principles. Make your own la!

Share this post


Link to post

omg all these replies i shed real tears thank you all so much <333

 

Hey Lunevis dear <3 I'm so, so sorry to hear what happened. I can't say I know and understand what you're going through since I've never had friends turn on me, but I can imagine what it must be like. I can't put anything better than Eef did because I'm so not eloquent with my writing, but I can say that I absolutely agree with her and I can also say that you're one of the sweetest friends I've had and I don't want you to be in harm's way and dealing with this nonsense and and come here and have a cookie or something <333

 

ohh rw <33 hello!!

aaa it's okay!! thank you so much for your words and support they really make me happy aa <333

omg oo thank you so much <33 showers you in cookies you're so nice i'm literally crying omg thank you <33 you're such a good friend too and your art is simply lovely!! <33

 

also i'm so sorry for being a butt w skype feel free to throw a cookie at me

 

What eef and rw said! Also, these people do not sound like friends, and I have to wonder at the mentality of a 20 year old that hangs with a 16 and 14 year old, and is calling the youngest one childish! And calling you to insult you to make the adult feel better?! You're one of the nicest, most mature people that I've ever met, and I was *shocked* when I realized how young you are, from your advice I would've guessed at least 10 years older! Anyway, my advice to you is passed on from Ann Landers, ask yourself this-are you better off with them or without them?

 

ohh thank you so much <333

yeah, honestly, i'm starting to wonder about that too. : ^ | i know b is going through hard times so i can't fault her completely for her actions, but i really wish she'd exercised more maturity when dealing with this. i wouldn't even mind being the immature child in all of that--i just wish she would've at least either backed away or simply ignored me instead of screaming it into my face. i don't know to feel sad or angry about it, honestly. i know that in a way i brought it upon myself but even so i just hoped she'd be more levelheaded at all of it.

 

ohh thank you so much!!! <33 it makes me so happy to hear that aa <33 thank you so much omg showers you in cookies too

 

that is amazing advice, thank you. <3 and i've come to realise that maybe i'm better off without them--it does hurt me to let go of p because she and i were really close, but i know as long as p is friends with b it's going to be very difficult for me to be friends with her and maintain stable health. i guess b does win this round; she's wanted p forever and frankly she can have her. i'm better off without people who will either insult me or manipulate others into doing so.

thank you so much aa <333

 

Lady_Lunevis, you are not a horrible person.

 

Your "friends" involved in that sound cruel and manipulative. It sounds like they baited you into an argument for their own amusement. True friends don't belittle each other and claim they are joking like that. Especially not if they truly understand when you have an issue like depression.

 

Take some space and get positive stuff going in life with different people who treat you the way you deserve.

 

ohh thank you. that means a lot--a lot of a lot. it's something i struggle with sometimes because of the whole moral conflict and everything, so thank you aa <33

 

ye a h i've realised that now : ^ | last night was honestly the last straw and i am done tbh

honestly?? i feel like they did ?? i mean p actually sided with me on that she was like oh yeah b was being horrible and mean but now that i see things more clearly that i realise p always talks about how awful b is and how she's going to leave her but deep down they are?? loyal to each other?? and i don't want to come between that or have them rage onto me because of that, so the best thing for me to do would be to leave and get away.

oh god i hope not </3 i'm going to find better friends in the future--and i already have!! the people i've met on dc and everyone in this thread have helped so much and are such wonderful people, thank you all <33 //hugs//

 

ohh thank you so much!! i think i'll do exactly that. : ^ ) it's been tough lately since the closest friend i have had to disappear because of personal problems and i haven't seen her in maybe three months ?? and then this happens so i'm kinda running a bit low on the whole friend loyalty thing, but i'm going to find better people. thank you. <33

 

Reply firstly to Lady_Lunevis. I shall speak in third person. I am so angry with p & b. What in the world are they thinking. One, Lady_Lunevis is a very nice person. She is sweet and kind. They shouldn't insult herlike that. That video chat is over the line. Two, it's just a game of no consequence. Both p and b should stop being childish themselves. Why, by their ages they are the ones who are immature because they are adults (16 and approx. 22). Give Lunevis some space. She's only fourteen years of age so it's just understandable. No regards to feelings indeed! Last, p and b can just go together after Lunevis and p is done. Easy solution. No need to fus. I can't stand all your issues.

 

In addition, I have a strange feeling of Lady_Lunevis as my foster little sister, Camille, as they have some similarities; and I want to make her a greeting card with a poem about happy things. I hope I can pursue this. I always follow these strange feelings. They are super wise.

 

ooo //waves// hello!! it's good to see you again c:

 

third person is okay with me!! thank you so much for replying aa <333

 

ohh thank you so much what omg i'm so honoured to hear that <333

 

ohh what, really?? that's so sweet omg i'm really honoured thank you so much <3333 you have such nice feelings omg what you're such a great person

 

i'm so sorry i can't help with your problem and to bother you with mine, but thank you so much for the lovely reply!! <33 it's much appreciated just aa thank you

 

Share this post


Link to post

So hi, I think it's time I revisited this thread (well, technically I haven't touched this one, just the pre-split one, but shh)

 

So long story short, I have a friend who keeps telling me to "be myself" (or similar equivalent) but then whenever I try, they always end up upset with me for one reason or another (actually I have multiple friends like this, just one that I actually care about enough for it to upset me) And I really just have no idea what to do, it's not like I'm a total censorkip.gif*** (I'm more like that when I'm hiding myself, actually...) and I just don't know what to do. It sometimes seems a lot more like they're saying "be what I think is okay" Which is basically the exact opposite of what their words mean

 

I'm just really, really confused and have no idea what to do except sit here and cry over my social ineptitude and apparent incompatibility with %95 of other humans

Share this post


Link to post

Lady_Lunevis: Going through a rough spot is -never- an excuse for lashing out, and especially not for the deliberate mistreatment of you, especially for someone that's no longer a teenager. And not only was it a deliberate effort to hurt and upset you, she also recruited another supposed friend to facilitate that attack. That makes P an accomplice - anyone who would victimize someone who is supposedly their friend, isn't a friend. Excusing their behavior is the exact same logic that an abused partner takes - they make excuses for their abuser.

 

As others have said, B sounds like a manipulative censorkip.gif*, and one who preys upon younger people to make herself feel superior. My advice lines up with everyone else's - Cut both of them loose, and never look back. When there's more grief than happiness in a relationship (any relationship!), or when the other person(s) go out of their way to make you miserable, it's not worth it.

 

To continue top try and patch things up only gives them control over you, which is exactly what they want. Don't sit there and give them more opportunity to try and hurt you. Once you're free, and make some friends who aren't manipulative back-stabbers, they'll have no power over you.

 

So hi, I think it's time I revisited this thread (well, technically I haven't touched this one, just the pre-split one, but shh)

 

So long story short, I have a friend who keeps telling me to "be myself" (or similar equivalent) but then whenever I try, they always end up upset with me for one reason or another (actually I have multiple friends like this, just one that I actually care about enough for it to upset me) And I really just have no idea what to do, it's not like I'm a total censorkip.gif*** (I'm more like that when I'm hiding myself, actually...) and I just don't know what to do. It sometimes seems a lot more like they're saying "be what I think is okay" Which is basically the exact opposite of what their words mean

 

I'm just really, really confused and have no idea what to do except sit here and cry over my social ineptitude and apparent incompatibility with %95 of other humans

 

If they can't accept you as you are, then they aren't a real friend. There might not be many at times, but there's always someone who will be able to relate to you - you just haven't found them yet. Unless you're a serial killer or something, stifling yourself will make the search for a compatible person harder, not easier.

 

In other words, be yourself. If they can't handle it, they're welcome to move along. But you need to do what's best for you - even if it means shedding a few 'friends' along the way.

Edited by Omega Entity

Share this post


Link to post

Hey, I think it's time for another little post to get me through this....

 

I dont really have much time but here it goes, im typing as fast as i can so please ignore the mistakes.

 

So in my last post, i said how hard it was to have my mum in rehab and my dad passed away. So fortunately, she is back at home now. But then that means i have to stay by her. Im still in high school, and it's getting really hard for me now.

 

my friend of trusted two years (honestly we met before but only become close this year but we have been friends before) decided to change. For the worse. Just to make it easier this girl is going to be nicknamed "Harriet". She is much more competitive, talking over me and making everything about her. She takes charge and everything, and she makes me feel unimportant. I would be talking about something and she would say "oh yeah, that happened to me yesterday too! I was blah blah something continuing with the story" and she would completely ignore me. I was talking with another friend (lets call her "Georgia") about something about my mum and my life going on. I left soon after but according to Georgia (i really trust her, she is the best person ever to have) said that Harriet asked her soon after I left about what I was saying. Georgia refused saying it was rude to stab me in the back (which im proud of) but then Harriet started getting annoyed and saying that she wouldnt talk to her for a week. And soon after, Harriet stormed away.

 

Im so annoyed at this fact, simply because she doesnt respect how i have secrets. Its not bad ones about others but personal ones and she always sticks her nose into everyones business. She takes my things without knowing and not putting them back properly, gets mad when one of us leaves or does someone and always begs for food and money from us. Im getting simply annoyed and frustrated.

 

Harriet also knows about my mum and dad, but doesnt seem to acknowledge that at all. She would ask us to come to her house and get mad at me when i cant come (i cant get anyone to drive me there, im still getting my "p" plates). we also have a production going on (im the director with Harriet) and she was sick for three days, meaning i have to do all the work. when she returns she gets mad because the teachers down acknowledge her as the director, gets all the easy jobs now because i did all the hard work and has put herself in EVERYTHING. She is choreographing a dance and saying that she is doing all of the work (even though the other choregraphers did all of it) and takes my ideas for herself.

 

Im getting really frustrated, she puts a lot of pressure on me and making my stress levels higher. I also have to take care of a disabled mum who can only use on side of her body and my grandmother with her second case of depression.Right at this time I need friends who i can rely on, not ones like harriet but ones like georgia. I dont think I can handle this. I know i should find more friends but to be honest, im scared of leaving the group of friends that I have.

Share this post


Link to post

Lady_Lunevis: Going through a rough spot is -never- an excuse for lashing out, and especially not for the deliberate mistreatment of you, especially for someone that's no longer a teenager. And not only was it a deliberate effort to hurt and upset you, she also recruited another supposed friend to facilitate that attack. That makes P an accomplice - anyone who would victimize someone who is supposedly their friend, isn't a friend. Excusing their behavior is the exact same logic that an abused partner takes - they make excuses for their abuser.

 

As others have said, B sounds like a manipulative censorkip.gif*, and one who preys upon younger people to make herself feel superior. My advice lines up with everyone else's - Cut both of them loose, and never look back. When there's more grief than happiness in a relationship (any relationship!), or when the other person(s) go out of their way to make you miserable, it's not worth it.

 

To continue top try and patch things up only gives them control over you, which is exactly what they want. Don't sit there and give them more opportunity to try and hurt you. Once you're free, and make some friends who aren't manipulative back-stabbers, they'll have no power over you.

aaa yeah honestly i feel like it was that too,,, b just said so casually "oh i hate (my name) so much" it was like everyday conversation and p returned and rn im just so

 

i'm just so bad at noticing when i'm being abused or when i'm not; i end up making excuses and even lying to myself / others around me that things aren't really that bad, or i end up secondguessing myself and telling myself things like "oh you made that sound sooo much worse" or "why are you complaining like that"

 

ohh thank you so mch!! <33 yeah, i'm definitely not going to talk to b again. p, however . . . i'm gonna post something at the end of this.

 

aaa thank you i'll try my best--admittedly, i honestly don't have much good friend luck right now but i have a couple friends that have simply been amazing and i thank them so much <33

 

thank you so much for the reply!!! i'm so sorry my reply is quick and kinda messy but i'm just not in a good piece of mind right now

 

~

 

ok now kinda an update on what happened

tw for depression, self harm, and suicide pls don't read if such subjects are triggering!!!

 

so i cut b loose and that was pretty easy; i just blocked her from everything and she had no complaints since she hates me anyway

 

but p was really complicated and right now i'm just hating myself so so much i feel like i'm going to vomit and i'm shaking Please seek out qualified or professional help for these serious problems, even just a specialized forum or hotline. We at DC are not qualified to deal with these topics. Please seek out someone who is. there's so much going on in school and online and just my life right now i just can't handle it it'll be a miracle if i survive school tomorrow but i can't skip either since i have two very important tests and it's just going to be messy

 

so basically what happened is that i told her i didnt think we could talk anymore since she was kinda harmful to my health and she took it really well she was like ok that's your decision but then she started being?? so nice ??? like nicer than she's ever been she was like "oh did you eat today did you finish your homework please shower and go to bed early and take care of yourself you're important to me please take care of yourself even if you don't like me anymore i still love you and i want the best for you"

and that just made me so emotional because we used to joke that p was like my mom in a way because she used to always care for me and everything before b happened ( p and i have known each other for i think five years? and b came in about two years ago ) and so hearing this suddenly is like ???? i just felt so so awful i was doing this to her because she was suddenly caring about me so much so i kept apologising and telling her that i was really sorry and she just kept saying no its ok ill unfriend you now

but then i realised i didn't want her to???? bc its been a while since she's been actually so nice and understanding and i just felt awful bc she's a good person she really is it's just. b is kinda. : ^ |

and it also brought back memories of this other friend--we'll call him s--that i pushed away before bc i was uncomfortable w his sexual advances towards me and then he started being really nice and apologising and i took him back again and i know i shouldn't have and i know this sounds really abusive rn but ok hear me out; s and i are actually really good friends now!! he didn't really he was being so sexual at the time and after i snapped and told him he stopped it completely and apologised so i wondered if p would do the same so i apologised to her but she was like nono it's ok i'll leave now and since i'm stupid and prideful i didn't exactly tell her not to leave so now she's really confuesd

and i guess?? it's just ?? brought back a lot of memories?? i'm still affected by b's words yesterday and i still hate myself so so much i've hated myself since i was able to think clearly because of some childhood stuff so b struck a really deep point there and so i just kept thinking about how awful i was and since p was being so nice i twisted that around and started thinking about how awful i was for doing this to her and stressing her out when she insisted on caring for me and making sure i was okay

so i guess???? i'm just wallowing in so so much self hatred rn and it's so hard to deal with bc i've been dealing with it more than 3/4ths of my life and i'm just so tired of everything

i still don't know if i'm going to accept p back i'm not that foolish but right now i'm just so conflicted on what to do and i'm just self hating so much and apologising everywhere and i'm so sorry to everyone in this thread for suddenly dumping everything here but honestly i just feel so close to an edge tonight and i just don't know what to do bc i know it's stupid of me to let b affect me so much but she was just a part of my life for so long and so mean for so long that it's really hard to let everything go u gh i'm so sorry i'm probably being really stupid for letting them affect me so much thank you so much to anyone who reads / replies

Edited by SockPuppet Strangler

Share this post


Link to post

but p was really complicated and right now i'm just hating myself so so much i feel like i'm going to vomit there's so much going on in school and online and just my life right now i just can't handle it it'll be a miracle if i survive school tomorrow but i can't skip either since i have two very important tests and it's just going to be messy

 

[...]

 

i still don't know if i'm going to accept p back i'm not that foolish but right now i'm just so conflicted on what to do and i'm just self hating so much and apologising everywhere and i'm so sorry to everyone in this thread for suddenly dumping everything here but honestly i just feel so close to an edge tonight and i just don't know what to do bc i know it's stupid of me to let b affect me so much but she was just a part of my life for so long and so mean for so long that it's really hard to let everything go u gh i'm so sorry i'm probably being really stupid for letting them affect me so much thank you so much to anyone who reads / replies

naww lunevis, its all going to be ok. I know it sounds cliche but trust me on this. Dont continue cutting, dont think about selfharm. You will get past this. Life will be easier from here on. I know how you feel, friends have turned against me, and they have changed. Now that p has begun to be nice, maybe actually think about this. Does p know that you are so emotional now? Has she realised enough that she herself has cut loose from b and become friends with you again? Maybe you should ask p about what is happening, but dont even think about b. b is someone you should never try to be friends with.

 

you can also find school counselling, or tell a teacher about your troubles, they can make sure school isnt too hard for you if you're struggling.

 

My advice isnt very professional, but its what i can think of right now. <3 i hope everything gets better soon!

Edited by SockPuppet Strangler

Share this post


Link to post

Maybe you should tell P that you want to take a bit of a break for a while. Explain how conflicted you feel on the relationship and why you're confused, then say that you're going to just take a few days to calm down and really think over everything and if it's really worth it going forward or not.

 

That's what I would do, I think. And whatever decision you make, I'd tell it to P so she's not left hanging.

 

I'm sorry you're having to go through with this. Ending relationships is never easy. :c

Share this post


Link to post
Maybe you should tell P that you want to take a bit of a break for a while. Explain how conflicted you feel on the relationship and why you're confused, then say that you're going to just take a few days to calm down and really think over everything and if it's really worth it going forward or not.

 

That's what I would do, I think. And whatever decision you make, I'd tell it to P so she's not left hanging.

 

I'm sorry you're having to go through with this. Ending relationships is never easy. :c

If you really and truly want to give P another chance, I would seriously stick with this.

 

I'm going to tell you the truth from the odd feeling I'm getting after reading your posts about the situation. I'm in my mid 30s, yes and I still play DC, I've been through a lot in my life and helped friends through a lot of their own situations too.

 

I want you to be super careful of P. This situation screams abuseive relationship. This can happen in friendships just like families or romantic relationships. Also remeber, emotional abuse is just as bad as physical or sexual abuse.

In the situation the abuser starts something, blaming the other person. The other person "made" them get angry, and basically blames the other person for anything they are feeling badly about while just tearing them down. After the courting/apology/honeymoon period begins. The abuser is very sorry, will never do it again, makes all sorts of promises, gives gifts, and is the most amazing person EVER to the other person... Until they start the cycle over- small insults, the other person isn't good enough, etc.

 

Just be careful. P needs to proove that she wants to earn your trust back again. Honestly after something like that, I'd stay kind of distant for a very long time. It's ok to know you were close in the past and care so much, but sometimes people change in ways that aren't so awesome. She might have to grow out of a nasty phase on her own.

 

I'm not going to lecture you about cutting. That won't help at all and will probabily just be the same stuff you have heard a zillion times. I want to give you lots of hugs!!! *huggggssss* And tell you it's OK to post about stuff or talk to people you trust when you are stressed and feeling like this. No apologies necessairy.

You can stop, it's wicked hard and doesn't make you a bad person if it takes years to overcome. One of my best friends in the entire world had a stupendiously difficult time growing up due to family issues and her mental health. She's an amazing woman, awesome mom to three biological kids, and a rockin' step mom to four other kids. She married a totally different guy than she ever thought growing up, but he is a great match. She was a stay at home mom for a while, but went back to school and is doing nursing eldercare right now.

She went through trial by fire and came out stronger - like steel for a knife. It gets heated and pounded as it is formed- the more heats and working the stronger it ends up.

That said, I think this is one of the webpages she reccommends to people who SI http://www.selfinjury.com

I can't remember the names or find the links she had on her old LJ before it came down, but that one looks familliar... Just putting it out there.

 

Life isn't like a movie, we don't have to figure out everything and have it tied up in a neat bow. Remember that when you are stressed and upset. It's going to be hard, messy, crazy sometimes. Others it will be really fun, or easy, or relaxing, or just happy. smile.gif

 

So yeah. Big post with a lot of love to you! Yeah, I went into crazy auntie/big sister mode.

Share this post


Link to post
So hi, I think it's time I revisited this thread (well, technically I haven't touched this one, just the pre-split one, but shh)

 

So long story short, I have a friend who keeps telling me to "be myself" (or similar equivalent) but then whenever I try, they always end up upset with me for one reason or another (actually I have multiple friends like this, just one that I actually care about enough for it to upset me) And I really just have no idea what to do, it's not like I'm a total censorkip.gif*** (I'm more like that when I'm hiding myself, actually...) and I just don't know what to do. It sometimes seems a lot more like they're saying "be what I think is okay" Which is basically the exact opposite of what their words mean

 

I'm just really, really confused and have no idea what to do except sit here and cry over my social ineptitude and apparent incompatibility with %95 of other humans

Hi!

 

Are you an introvert normally? I am... Sometimes I have a hard time understanding what I did to tick off my friends. Sounds very familliar to me.

 

Have you tried pulling your friend aside when it is just one on one and asking them what happened and how you managed to upset them? As dippy as it seems, those conflict resolution techniques work great for this stuff. I statements in particular.

"I'm confused about what happened, and I feel badly I upset you. I would like to know how it happened so I can make the effort to avoid it in the future. I was trying to be myself, but I am concerned I may have hurt you unintentonally."

 

It is a confrontational type of solution, but short of someone inventing a magic pill or cream that gives us psychic powers, well, I'm coming up empty.

 

Of course if the answer you get is something obnoxious, like they disagree with your opinion and can't accept that you have different views, they might not be the best people if they don't want to accept you for you.

Share this post


Link to post

Firstly, I want to say, happy.gif I had a good day today just by sharing these things to you last night. Well, I found my lost lunch box. That is one. Another is, I asked a friend who is going with this hoola baloo in business and he helped me understand more of this stock market. It's really helpful and his teaching is really nice. I love our discussions. This includes bonds. Well, at least I know how this thing works, how I am earning money, I can finally have peace of mind and be able to sleep.

 

Next, I am linking this with the Stock Market topic I made here in DC forums. People are so nice and helpful, sharing their knowledge like the awesome fuzzbucket, and lovely Wahya

 

Anyway, that's all. I am feeling bad with this whole thing going on in the world. sad.gif There is just a lot of depression and sadness going on. I want to share a little anime song that cheers me up. I know it would cheer you all up as well!

 

Song entitled Ashita No Kimi:

For subtitle, watch this but scroll to the timeline at 01:00 (do not be foolish to watch the anime. That is episode 45): http://magical-girl-mahou-shoujo.wikia.com...ca_-_Episode_45

Share this post


Link to post

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    No registered users viewing this page.