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Then don't. That's what MM is saying (though it was more about empathy). If being in that place will either make you not care or make you depressed, try looking into a different job.

 

This.

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Then don't. That's what MM is saying (though it was more about empathy). If being in that place will either make you not care or make you depressed, try looking into a different job.

When you are training and get a placement - that is the placement you have to take. I had a couple of awful ones when teacher training - but it was take them or give up the course - and lose all the effort you've put in. You don't get a choice. It would be awful if Kestra had to give up his training over this - lose everything he has already invested in it and so on. Such a waste. Once training is done, you can choose your field.

 

But he is prepared to take the placement and bite the bullet - it is the actual COST of taking it is the big issue.

Edited by fuzzbucket

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When you are training and get a placement - that is the placement you have to take. I had a couple of awful ones when teacher training - but it was take them or give up the course - and lose all the effort you've put in. You don't get a choice. It would be awful if Kestra had to give up his training over this - lose everything he has already invested in it and so on. Such a waste. Once training is done, you can choose your field.

 

But he is prepared to take the placement and bite the bullet - it is the actual COST of taking it is the big issue.

I know that. But if that specific placement will cause him too much grief, then he either needs to find a different job, or just go with it and try to not let it bother him too much (easier said than done). He either risks doing all the training for nothing, or being in a place that constantly fills him with negative emotions and thoughts. He should *enjoy* being a nurse and helping these people, not constantly reminded of his grandparents.

 

If he can, maybe he could view this job as helping these people to make up for not saying his goodbyes.

Edited by edwardelricfreak

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I think he is saying that he will take the placement, just that it is an awful one for him, especially at this time. His BIG objection is that fact that it is almost unaffordable. The "crap placement" remark was almost a postscript to the post saying how much the placement will cost him. A VERY bad bit of work by his university, I'd say.

 

So, my university has managed to truly screw me over. My next 3 month placement is once again in the middle of nowhere, and it will cost me around £3,000 to go on said placement. I'm in £22,000 of debt and barely scrap by on a monthly basis on the loans I'm already receiving, and now they expect me to pay that much up front? And what, of course, is the uni's response to me saying I can't afford it? 'Well then, you'll have to quit the course.'

 

Is the big issue.

Edited by fuzzbucket

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((((Kestra))))

 

UK education funding SUCKS.

*hug* Thanks Fuzz. There are days when I really wonder if someone upstairs wants me to be a nurse, given how much gets thrown at me in quick succession. Good thing I'm determined to be a nurse.

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*hug* Thanks Fuzz. There are days when I really wonder if someone upstairs wants me to be a nurse, given how much gets thrown at me in quick succession. Good thing I'm determined to be a nurse.

And that once you DO graduate, you can choose your field. My sister - a doctor - used to specialise in geriatrics - she loved it but none of her colleagues did. There are always aspects of a job that one avoids for good reason. Especially a job that deals with so many difficult things.

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*hug* Thanks Fuzz. There are days when I really wonder if someone upstairs wants me to be a nurse, given how much gets thrown at me in quick succession. Good thing I'm determined to be a nurse.

I'm sorry what you're having to go through. Also, I'm sorry if I sounded rude at all; I was concerned about how you'd feel being around these people if they bring up these bad memories.

 

Hopefully you have a good time, despite all of that. c: If you can get through this, hopefully you can get through anything!

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And that once you DO graduate, you can choose your field. My sister - a doctor - used to specialise in geriatrics - she loved it but none of her colleagues did. There are always aspects of a job that one avoids for good reason. Especially a job that deals with so many difficult things.

Critical and emergency care biggrin.gif I've been pre-hospital for six years and my first nursing role was in an intensive care unit, and I fell in love with it instantly. I also intend to do my Fellowship in Wilderness Medicine, so I can volunteer worldwide as a specialist pre-hospital nurse on expeditions primarily in Nepal and hopefully in Antarctica. So whenever I get given a tough situation I just think about that day I sat on the Everest route and decided I wanted to work there and how much it would mean to me and to the people in that region, and remember there will be a light at the end of the tunnel.

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I just got home from work, so it is now a new literal day. But September 21 was my stepfather's birthday. He'd have been 81.

 

This time each year I would typically buy him flowering bulbs. He did not get to see the gifts bloom this year.

 

I intend to buy some bulbs and plant them up at the scattering grounds where his ashes were spread. So that he may be part of the spring blooms and live again in flowers he loves. I want to plant many bulbs. Daffodils and his favourite tulips. Being that he's from Holland he always had a special love of tulips - that and windmills.

 

but today I could not stop thinking about him.

 

I knew there was a time we did not see eye to eye, but the past two years we grew closer. I wish I could have done something to help him at the time of his initial heart attack. I hoped he'd make it, but he woke up with brain damage and that broke my heart. I could see him being frustrated. But he did not know us. He smiled when we arrived but he didn't recognise us.

 

I am empathic. I feel their pain, I sense their frustration I am in that pit with them. its something I find difficult to deal with because I call it the "plunge" because I suddenly have this sense of what they go through. their fears are my fears, their anxiety is my anxiety. It is largely why I avoid TV news or stuff about harm to animals. Movie stuff is a different matter, but non movie stuff... it hurts.

 

I felt bad because it was my decision to resuscitate and the result was his brain damage. I knew my stepfather well enough to understand that he was highly active and hated sitting around. My family had to reassure me the action was one they'd have taken if they were in my position. I just didn't want my mum to lose another husband this way and I really did not want to lose the father I had always known when this became apparent though, I only hoped that something merciful would take him to a better place and it did. but that did not make it easier.

 

My stepfather, then "uncle bill", took us to Virginia Beach when I was about 4. That was shortly after my own father's death. I got a massive sunburn, we brought home hermit crabs, I played with jelly fish, I learned to swim and I drank doctor Pepper. I also lost my little mopcap hat in a motel, I was sad. But my stepfather bought me a penny whistle.

 

When mum and my stepfather were married, we lived in this house that he modified by adding a window in a high wall by cutting it open with a skill saw - amazing he did not bring the house down. He installed a door bell, but it didn't work, we realised the problem when we went downstairs and turned on the light "DING" and turned it off "DONG" some how he hooked it to the lights.

 

We used to go sailing out to Centre Island in Toronto, we had to ride out storms in small harbours, we stayed at the island over night in the boat, and I often got lost. We went house boating along the Trent canal system which was a lot of fun. We almost capsized the sail boat in rice lake and that day I also found 12 dollars laying on the road. My mum took 10 dollars and left me with two, but she bought me a small brass frog. I chased killdeer birds and did turtle races at the beach.

 

We went to england when I was 11 I saw my grandmother for the last time there. we had a lot of fun, we saw the Mary rose ship, Victory Ship and went to Greenwich. When I was 12 we went to curacao near south America. I drank fresh coconuts picked from teh tree, I got accused of trying to bring home lizards - I think it got in my towel when we came back from a beach. I got a massive sunburn and learned milk of magnesia helped it. I also had Indonesian food for the first time.

 

As I got older, he and I managed to chafe. I went through the typical teenager stage of getting cross with the parents. He pissed me off, but he never hurt me. He still took me to beaches, we went ot see sights, and went to plays in Stratford. When he opened the antique shop, I assisted by hunting down suitable stuff.

 

I am not sure why my ire toward him was stoked, but I am very glad that I "grew up" and we learned to be father and daughter. I came home from college, cooked him new interesting foods I learned. He dared break away from his usual utterly bland meals and try something interesting. I told him what I learned and he showed pride.

 

WHen it was discovered my mum had cancer, I saw the other side of him so very clearly in a way I had never seen before. I saw how much he truely loved her. He s upported her as best as he could, often driving for many kilometres to find something she could drink and hold down. He often bought her tokens of of his affection, small jewellery encrusted in amethyst stones. He often told me how he thought she was brilliant and artistic and how he did envy her skills - and mine for that matter. When my mum's cousin died of cancer, it struck her very hard. I told my stepfather that her cousin died. He nearly flew out of that chair to be with her.

 

Barely a month later it was his time.

 

I truly wish he could have seen me graduate he would have been proud and I would have been delighted to have him witness that day.

 

Happy 81st birthday Willem. I miss you so very very much.

 

*I need a hug*

 

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That's very touching, Starscream. *huggles* @};--

 

----

 

Sept. 30 edited: I feel tired and everything. sad.gif There are so many demanding school requirements. I want to scream my head off here. I want to sleep but cannot. I try to keep myself awake to finish off work but when I have time to sleep, I just can't because I don't feel sleepy anymore despite being tired. *inserts keyboard spam in the next lines*

 

HubybununjdncjenhcbfygryfbybgysbhxbjnwkmdimimjmkdCeninincuenu Vcmkdkejinunucbeubfum! Ninihihihihk, mhbuu, Nyhbygtgygybh,.hihuhuygfc::;,)7(7'jkklggygygygtftfg$$&@(7(7(6(5;4rdswegfftftftftftfygyfrtthh.

 

(Apologies if I treat this as an outlet for my words at the moment.)

 

Edited: sad.gif I still feel unwell. To top it all, I was sick the past week. I was down with soar throat and colds. Meanwhile, since I'm not getting the proper rest, it got worse. *mentally bangs head*

Edited by georgexu94

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All I need is just an ear. Nothing else. I want to unload my chest. No advice, hugs or what not needed.

 

I am sick with a cold and Have a bloody migraine to boot. On top of this, there is a skunk outside and that is not helping how I feel. As a result of all that I have not been able to do a thing I need to do, and I am hungry to boot.

 

Now for my rant.

 

RANT I admit, I largely work part time hours. This is a request of mine due to the fact I have to build up stamina and I have an injured knee that needs to be strengthened before I dare take on 40 hour work weeks. I am acutely aware of how much I can handle before I start to break and this is where I get irritated. Its people who think they are better than you because they do more than you.

 

I will in time get back to my 40 hours a week, but I will not make myself work more than that. There are people who choose to work 50 to 60 hours a week and that is their choice. Not a choice I would dare make currently because the result of me attempting to work like that has invariably been disastrous and was a direct result of my long period not working.

 

But my work, which I love, has me working in a restaurant during the dinner services hours during the latter part of the week and weekend. This involves 5 - 8 hours near constant activity driven by the need to get beautiful plates of food out to hungry diners. Lets not consider part way through I am starting to get a bit peckish myself because my last meal occurred around 2 or 3pm depending what time I have to leave for work and I may not get home until past midnight. I do not go typically to bed until between 2 – 4am because of time to sit down, and unwind. I do not not usually get up until 11am (depending on how many early AM interruptions I get). I try not to get too actively cooking dinner at night because Paul is provably in bed because he gets up at 5 and has to work until 2.

 

If I cook dinner during my work days, its fairly simple. However most often than not, I deal with a cheddar and hot pepper sandwich and let that tide me over and hope for a few fries to come my way during shift. Paul generally does not cook, therefore he eats peanut butter sandwiches the days I work and awaits the days I don't work for something more substantial. I hope those ready to eat things I made will get used by him. That's what they are fore.

 

My days off are my rest days. I am usually bone tired and sore in strange places. I have had days where my legs or arms feel as if I was weight lifting and I am unsure exactly why. I discover bruises from where I have obviously banged myself at some point, or I am nursing a burn or two. My days off are my days where I often spend time with my husband because I barely see him. I do miss him. I usually use those days to get any cooking done that might be used during the week while I am working. Those days are important for any cleaning I need to do, if I have the energy to do that – which usually I don't. Those days are the days when laundry gets done. My uniform needs to be washed and I have run out of clothes. I need the unwind so I can get myself mentally ready for another week.

 

But when I tell people I do not have the money to do something. I don't have it. It won't come the more I am pestered if I have it. I am occasionally left to wonder – am I supposed to mug someone to get it? I do have money set aside, a small amount but that is being reserved for an event I want or attend next summer OR an emergency that needs it when all other options are exhausted. This money is not easily accessible to me. It is not connected to my bank card, and I have to wait 24 hours for transfers to proceed.

 

The internet we need simply because it is how we keep in contact with family across the seas. Australia, Japan, South Africa and England. The other costs – my phone - I'd let that go, if I was still not bound by a contract until next summer and netflix - is easily turned off. Other than those three, all the rest of my costs go toward rent and payment for my education. So the money I make with work goes to food and the bills.

 

I am so utterly tired of my sister and her “I work X amount blah blah blah” because I am not my sister. If she wishes to work like that it is her choice but she can go to the pit for attempting to guilt me into doing the same. I am not her, and she clearly does not understand the pain I sometimes get in my knee joints. She never had her knees permanently damaged by being hit by a car while riding a bicycle.

 

As it stands I am going ot have to book time off work, lose some of that pay I need to assist my mum to move, likely in 30 days (likely less) that means my plan for November will be scrapped because I will not take the time off for it and I will not have money for it. And I know my family will be quite upset with me. I also do not see myself doing much this year for Christmas. But those will be sacrifices I will have to make. I will just ensure no one does anything for me because I will feel so bad at not being able to return in kind - I like to be generous when I can and I hate people being generous to me when I cannot somehow return the favour.

 

I just hope they understand I probably will be working Christmas eve, Boxing day, new years eve and day. /rant

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(sobbing desperately from Starscream's post on the 21st)

(I've been there... I'm still there... I'll always be there...)

(And it hurts...)

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I can't believe my first post on the Dragon Cave forum (besides my intro) is going to be this.

 

Well, lately I've been feeling like a disappointment to my parents. I sit around my house until I have a job interview and then, when nothing comes of it, I laze around until I find another job to apply for or I'm running errands with my mom. That used to suffice because I was having quite a bit of interviews and even though I wasn't necessarily walking out of them with jobs, I was still putting myself out there.. which is more than I can say for my sister.

 

My sister just had her first job interview. Yeah, she's late to get started job hunting so I figured she was going to start on the same path that I did; which was to have multiple job interviews in a row without success. But, hey, I wasn't really being a couch potato. I was applying myself. More than my sister was.

 

I've had 3 job interviews and my sister just had her first one and walked out with a job. For a while, my parents were happy for me because I was doing adult things on my own and they were harping on my sister for not doing anything. Well, now my sister has a job and I don't.

 

What am I doing wrong? My parents look disappointed and I'm pretty discouraged overall. My sister is being praised for getting a job and I'm being treated like I'm wasting my time when I've had more interviews than my sister.

 

I don't really know what to do anymore. I keep trying and trying and nothing happens but my sister gets a job (and a good one at that) on her first go at it. I'm starting to feel like my sister is way more likable and more enjoyable to be around than I am.

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I can't believe my first post on the Dragon Cave forum (besides my intro) is going to be this.

 

Well, lately I've been feeling like a disappointment to my parents. I sit around my house until I have a job interview and then, when nothing comes of it, I laze around until I find another job to apply for or I'm running errands with my mom. That used to suffice because I was having quite a bit of interviews and even though I wasn't necessarily walking out of them with jobs, I was still putting myself out there.. which is more than I can say for my sister.

 

My sister just had her first job interview. Yeah, she's late to get started job hunting so I figured she was going to start on the same path that I did; which was to have multiple job interviews in a row without success. But, hey, I wasn't really being a couch potato. I was applying myself. More than my sister was.

 

I've had 3 job interviews and my sister just had her first one and walked out with a job. For a while, my parents were happy for me because I was doing adult things on my own and they were harping on my sister for not doing anything. Well, now my sister has a job and I don't.

 

What am I doing wrong? My parents look disappointed and I'm pretty discouraged overall. My sister is being praised for getting a job and I'm being treated like I'm wasting my time when I've had more interviews than my sister.

 

I don't really know what to do anymore. I keep trying and trying and nothing happens but my sister gets a job (and a good one at that) on her first go at it. I'm starting to feel like my sister is way more likable and more enjoyable to be around than I am.

Funnily enough.... my parents do the exact same thing to me. I hunt for jobs whenever I have spare time, and after a year of no success, my parents began treating me like a stranger, and they've kicked me out of home because of my terrible luck with jobs.

 

Truly, I know how this feels. Being alienated by your parents really hurts, and it makes it worse when a family member gets one on the first try.

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So I made fleet tech at work.

It's kinda a big deal as there is only one fleet tech or top mechanic for each of the three maintenance facilities. They made a 4th tech position specifically for electrical issues and that's my forte. I was very, very excited to had been selected, even though the union (I work for the city so all shops are union) is putting up a fuss about the position.

Yesterday they posted the sign up board, it's were everyone is listed according to position then seniority in that position. The person who is mechanic 1 and has held that position the longest gets to pick from the list of all hour of work/ days off combinations first, then they go down the list. If there is a second class that wants to move up and there is an open 1st class spot, he would sign for it and start his probation for that class of mechanic.

One of the concessions for this new position was that fleet techs would sign last, but only fleet techs can sign for fleet tech spots. The thing is, the hours for the fleet tech are really good, so are the days off. BUT they get in the way of my college classes.

I was told when i applied for the tech position it would be 2nd shift (3 pm to 11pm ) give or take an hour or two in each direction. It's Not and now I have to choose between finishing school and this new position.

I'm at 90 credit hours out of 124 needed to graduate. I'm so darn close, but remember, Techs sign last. I sign after the storeroom clerks and janitors, so the odds of my first class position with the days/ hours I have now still being open is slim to none. Heck, there might not be any first class spots open.

But i would be the fist of my siblings to get a bachelors degree, and with that degree i could feasibly get an even better position, here (managers need degrees, I have been told that I would be accepted as one when/if I graduate but i'm not sure I want to be a manager in a government gig) or some place else, were I would hopefully be working in my field of study, engineering.

I talked to my boss and his boss, and right now, the tech position is under so much scrutiny, they really can't fudge some hours just for me.

The pay is good, like, people go to college to get a job that pays this good, good, and I get my own service truck. I'm a vet and My GI Bill that was covering my tuition has run out. So i no longer have that befit coming in and the pay increase would help. It was a factor in my applying for the position, but I was mostly thinking that I could cover some of the education costs, that I won't have as much of if I stop going.

I really don't know what to do.

This is me weighing the options, the options are balanced.

 

Also to Tazzay and Esspe, I was kicked out my parents house because I got a job in order to get out of playing sports. I make several times more then my parents combined income now, more then any of my siblings, yet am the failure because I am not married.

Parents try to love their kids, but they are still human and have human faults like bias', being hypocrites and playing favorites even when they say their not.

Job hunting is hard, it's dang near a job unto itself and I wish you both luck in the search and hugs because I know what that look of disappointment on a parents face does to someone.

 

 

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Hello it's me again.

 

My solutions to my previous problem

 

http://forums.dragcave.net/index.php?showt...%20Diary&st=280'>Previous Post Right Here

 

. I limited how much I talk to the person who shared my diary so I can slowly detach myself away

. Started college again to keep myself occupied

. Meeting new people opening myself up to others

. Cut off all ties with the people involved in my issue

 

When I started attending college again I entered with a positive mindset and I was enjoying the time and effort I put into it. But eventually I grew more and more depressed. I have started feeling a bit claustrophobic spending my nights and weekends at home alone. I have practically made an imaginary loved one to share all my thoughts to. I went to see a so called "shrink" and she told me that I don't have anything wrong with me it is the people that were involved in my case who she does not understand what kind of role they were playing. She even went as far to tell me to get their numbers traced by the cops. I know I may be criticized for such a simple scenario in maybe a few peoples minds but I just know that I'm struggling with myself to not loose my sanity. There are times I sit in my room alone and start hyperventilating/panicking thinking over what happened. I don't expect a positive response but I just really needed to let it out.

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I can't believe my first post on the Dragon Cave forum (besides my intro) is going to be this.

 

Well, lately I've been feeling like a disappointment to my parents. I sit around my house until I have a job interview and then, when nothing comes of it, I laze around until I find another job to apply for or I'm running errands with my mom. That used to suffice because I was having quite a bit of interviews and even though I wasn't necessarily walking out of them with jobs, I was still putting myself out there.. which is more than I can say for my sister.

 

My sister just had her first job interview. Yeah, she's late to get started job hunting so I figured she was going to start on the same path that I did; which was to have multiple job interviews in a row without success. But, hey, I wasn't really being a couch potato. I was applying myself. More than my sister was.

 

I've had 3 job interviews and my sister just had her first one and walked out with a job. For a while, my parents were happy for me because I was doing adult things on my own and they were harping on my sister for not doing anything. Well, now my sister has a job and I don't.

 

What am I doing wrong? My parents look disappointed and I'm pretty discouraged overall. My sister is being praised for getting a job and I'm being treated like I'm wasting my time when I've had more interviews than my sister.

 

I don't really know what to do anymore. I keep trying and trying and nothing happens but my sister gets a job (and a good one at that) on her first go at it. I'm starting to feel like my sister is way more likable and more enjoyable to be around than I am.

Congratulations on continuing to try during this difficult time to get a job. I know that getting out there and continuing to be disappointed in the search is hard for anyone. I hope your parents are proud of you for sticking to it.

 

Yeah, your sister was very lucky to get a job at the first go, and of course right now your parents are caught in a glow of pride in her, but I hope they and you realize that luck had to play a part. This is a hard time to get a job, but if you keep trying your turn will come.

 

I have never been disappointed in my son for not succeeding, just when he wasn't trying. It can be awfully hard to try and keep trying when things just don't seem to be going your way. It sounds to me like you are trying and I would be proud of you for that, because I know how hard it can be to find a job in times like these.

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Hey everyone. I've been going through a really tough situation and it helps a little to talk about it, so here goes.

 

My boyfriend, James, was the victim of a horrible crime on September 18th. Someone set the stairwell of his apartment building on fire. He and his brother Michael were trapped on the top floor and were not breathing when officials arrived. They were revived with CPR and sent to ICU. Michael passed away the next day; he was entirely comatose and having repeated heart failure.

 

James has had a really bumpy recovery. His lungs were badly burned, so they kept him in a medically-induced coma and on a ventilator until recently. We found out from an MRI scan that he is blind and 30% of his brain received carbon monoxide damage. A few days ago, they stopped sedating him and when he wakes up they try to get him to respond to commands and communicate, both of which he won't do. He just jerks around. I suspect he's upset because he can't see or control his body properly.

 

Yesterday, we learned that he has a serious blood infection, a staph infection of some sort, and that he is unable to keep any of the food he's receiving through a gastric tube down. If he's not able to keep anything down by Monday, his sister says they will be putting him in comfort care, where they'll stop treating him and make what's left of his life "comfortable."

 

I know he's in there. I'm not allowed to visit because I am not considered family, but his sister let him listen to a recording of my voice before they had stopped sedating him completely and his eyes opened and he moved around a lot. He wanted to talk back to me but couldn't figure out how. It was the biggest reaction they'd been able to incite out of him before they took him entirely off the sedation medication.

 

Everyone has been telling me that a staph infection is serious and that there's not much hope, but I've been praying and asking all my friends who believe in such things to pray for a miracle. I also pray they find whoever did this and lock him away before he can hurt anyone else.

 

I feel like a basketcase. I'll be fine for most of the day, happy in my delusion that everything will turn out for the best, but then someone will say something that randomly reminds me of James and I'll burst into tears. I don't trust myself to go out into public. I've been trying to keep myself busy. My daughter and I go out on the patio a lot to play and when I can't sleep at night I macrame bracelets to sell at his and Michael's benefit next week or play games with a friend. I hate this waiting game. I don't know what to do. I feel so powerless.

Edited by Chanilove

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Oh, Chani......... sad.gif I have no words I am so sorry for you and James and I'm sorry for your loss *hugs*

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Damn, Chanilove..... i'm really sorry that happened to James. There's not much to do, but to hope for his full recovery in due time.

 

I sincerely hope everything goes smoothly with his recovery.

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Sept. 30 edited: I feel tired and everything. sad.gif There are so many demanding school requirements. I want to scream my head off here. I want to sleep but cannot. I try to keep myself awake to finish off work but when I have time to sleep, I just can't because I don't feel sleepy anymore despite being tired. *inserts keyboard spam in the next lines*

 

HubybununjdncjenhcbfygryfbybgysbhxbjnwkmdimimjmkdCeninincuenu Vcmkdkejinunucbeubfum! Ninihihihihk, mhbuu, Nyhbygtgygybh,.hihuhuygfc::;,)7(7'jkklggygygygtftfg$$&@(7(7(6(5;4rdswegfftftftftftfygyfrtthh.

 

(Apologies if I treat this as an outlet for my words at the moment.)

 

Edited: sad.gif I still feel unwell. To top it all, I was sick the past week. I was down with soar throat and colds. Meanwhile, since I'm not getting the proper rest, it got worse. *mentally bangs head*

School is hard! You need sleep to do well, but many times it is so demanding it steals our sleep from us. Sucky times.

 

What helps me is to sit down and make out a full schedule of what I have to do and when it needs to be done. Schedule in all my classes. Schedule in meal times. Make deadlines for little bits of homework and projects I need done. Then I can better decide when and where to fit in those few hours to finish this assignment, to finish that assignment, etc. Sometimes no matter how that works out, I still don't get much sleep. Sometimes I push myself extra hard during the week so I can sleep 12 hours on Saturday.

 

Hope things look up for you and that you're feeling better!

 

~

 

*pat pats, Star* We're here, listening to you.

 

~

 

I can't believe my first post on the Dragon Cave forum (besides my intro) is going to be this.

 

Well, lately I've been feeling like a disappointment to my parents. I sit around my house until I have a job interview and then, when nothing comes of it, I laze around until I find another job to apply for or I'm running errands with my mom. That used to suffice because I was having quite a bit of interviews and even though I wasn't necessarily walking out of them with jobs, I was still putting myself out there.. which is more than I can say for my sister.

 

My sister just had her first job interview. Yeah, she's late to get started job hunting so I figured she was going to start on the same path that I did; which was to have multiple job interviews in a row without success. But, hey, I wasn't really being a couch potato. I was applying myself. More than my sister was.

 

I've had 3 job interviews and my sister just had her first one and walked out with a job. For a while, my parents were happy for me because I was doing adult things on my own and they were harping on my sister for not doing anything. Well, now my sister has a job and I don't.

 

What am I doing wrong? My parents look disappointed and I'm pretty discouraged overall. My sister is being praised for getting a job and I'm being treated like I'm wasting my time when I've had more interviews than my sister.

 

I don't really know what to do anymore. I keep trying and trying and nothing happens but my sister gets a job (and a good one at that) on her first go at it. I'm starting to feel like my sister is way more likable and more enjoyable to be around than I am.

 

Aww, that's hard. The market sucks right now! Some of us get lucky, some of us have to work harder. I've gotten nearly every job I've applied for, but my sister struggles with it and she applies near everywhere - Subway, Smith's, the local grocery store, a bunch of local shops, and etc. She managed a job at the mall once, I forget where, and promptly caught the flu going around and had to leave her first day of work early because she vomited everywhere. Then she was sick, then it was Christmas and we went out of town, so that job didn't last long. She got a job at Smith's and they were pretty craptastic employers. She basically had a girl stalking her and to solve this problem, they ended up firing her. It's been hard going for her.

 

I say pooh on your parents. Don't compare yourself to your sister. Her early success has nothing to do with you and you having to try harder has nothing to do with her. Just think about you and what you want and what you need to do. It's hard, but things will never pick up if you don't keep trying. Have you had your resume looked at? I'd be happy to look it over if you want to delete your personal information and send it to me. I'll give you my email and everything. I've been told I'm a great editor. I've also had my resume looked over several times by my dad, who regularly hires people for part of his job, by various teachers and professors for class, and submitted it to grad school and was selected.

 

Do you practice interviewing before you go to interview? Look up common interview questions and think back to what you were asked in your interviews. Prepare answers to those questions. Spend time thinking on your strengths before you go to interval so you can bring attention to that. If your parents or a friend or whomever else nearby might be willing to help you practice, ask them. Treat it like a full interview - go in and shake their hand and introduce yourself and answer their questions. This way you can get good feedback on what you're like during an interview and perhaps if there's a different way to hold yourself.

 

Look up companies before you go interview with them so you know who they are.

 

Ask questions after the interview. This always seemed silly to me, but these questions show you are thinking about really working with them and show initiative. Potential questions can be:

-Why your interviewer/s joined the company

-What the attitude is like in the department you're interviewing for

-And etc listed here: http://businessinsider.tumblr.com/post/900...nd-of-every-job

 

Do a follow up with the company. Send a prompt thank you for interviewing with you.

 

Last but not least, keep trying! Yeah, it is super depressing to hear nothing back. It makes me want to stop and give up when I go through hard times. But if you don't keep trying, things will probably never look up on your own. I hope some of this helps and good luck on the job market!

 

So I made fleet tech at work.

It's kinda a big deal as there is only one fleet tech or top mechanic for each of the three maintenance facilities. They made a 4th tech position specifically for electrical issues and that's my forte. I was very, very excited to had been selected, even though the union (I work for the city so all shops are union) is putting up a fuss about the position.

Yesterday they posted the sign up board, it's were everyone is listed according to position then seniority in that position. The person who is mechanic 1 and has held that position the longest gets to pick from the list of all hour of work/ days off combinations first, then they go down the list. If there is a second class that wants to move up and there is an open 1st class spot, he would sign for it and start his probation for that class of mechanic.

One of the concessions for this new position was that fleet techs would sign last, but only fleet techs can sign for fleet tech spots. The thing is, the hours for the fleet tech are really good, so are the days off. BUT they get in the way of my college classes.

I was told when i applied for the tech position it would be 2nd shift (3 pm to 11pm ) give or take an hour or two in each direction. It's Not and now I have to choose between finishing school and this new position.

I'm at 90 credit hours out of 124 needed to graduate. I'm so darn close, but remember, Techs sign last. I sign after the storeroom clerks and janitors, so the odds of my first class position with the days/ hours I have now still being open is slim to none. Heck, there might not be any first class spots open.

But i would be the fist of my siblings to get a bachelors degree, and with that degree i could feasibly get an even better position, here (managers need degrees, I have been told that I would be accepted as one when/if I graduate but i'm not sure I want to be a manager in a government gig) or some place else, were I would hopefully be working in my field of study, engineering.

I talked to my boss and his boss, and right now, the tech position is under so much scrutiny, they really can't fudge some hours just for me.

The pay is good, like, people go to college to get a job that pays this good, good, and I get my own service truck. I'm a vet and My GI Bill that was covering my tuition has run out. So i no longer have that befit coming in and the pay increase would help. It was a factor in my applying for the position, but I was mostly thinking that I could cover some of the education costs, that I won't have as much of if I stop going.

I really don't know what to do.

This is me weighing the options, the options are balanced.

 

Ugh, that's hard. D: None of us can make the decision for you, of course. It sounds like it's going to come down to what you really want more, since the options are about balanced otherwise.

 

Perhaps some other things to think about:

-Will you be able to get another good job offer if you give this one up and finish school?

-Will you be able to/want to go back to school to finish later if you go for the job while it's available?

 

Whatever decision you make, I'm sure it will be the best one for you and that's really all you can do. Good luck!

 

. I limited how much I talk to the person who shared my diary so I can slowly detach myself away

. Started college again to keep myself occupied

. Meeting new people opening myself up to others

. Cut off all ties with the people involved in my issue

 

When I started attending college again I entered with a positive mindset and I was enjoying the time and effort I put into it. But eventually I grew more and more depressed. I have started feeling a bit claustrophobic spending my nights and weekends at home alone. I have practically made an imaginary loved one to share all my thoughts to. I went to see a so called "shrink" and she told me that I don't have anything wrong with me it is the people that were involved in my case who she does not understand what kind of role they were playing. She even went as far to tell me to get their numbers traced by the cops. I know I may be criticized for such a simple scenario in maybe a few peoples minds but I just know that I'm struggling with myself to not loose my sanity. There are times I sit in my room alone and start hyperventilating/panicking thinking over what happened. I don't expect a positive response but I just really needed to let it out.

 

Unfortunately, not all therapists will be good or will mesh well with you. If she's giving you advice that makes you uncomfortable or she's pushing a certain thing that isn't helping you, is there anybody else you can talk to? My sister had to talk to five or so therapists before we found one both her and my mom liked and thought was doing a good job.

The choice is yours what action you want to take. If you are not comfortable getting numbers traced and such, then don't. Your mental health has to take precedence and if that won't help you, then that won't help you.

 

You're doing so well, though! You started college again, cut out unhealthy relationships, and met some new people! Look at what you've accomplished! I'm so proud. <3

 

Are you in any clubs? Colleges have plenty of clubs and that'd be a great way to get out of your room and meet a wider variety of people. There should be a club or two that look good to you.

 

Hey everyone. I've been going through a really tough situation and it helps a little to talk about it, so here goes.

 

My boyfriend, James, was the victim of a horrible crime on September 18th. Someone set the stairwell of his apartment building on fire. He and his brother Michael were trapped on the top floor and were not breathing when officials arrived. They were revived with CPR and sent to ICU. Michael passed away the next day; he was entirely comatose and having repeated heart failure.

 

James has had a really bumpy recovery. His lungs were badly burned, so they kept him in a medically-induced coma and on a ventilator until recently. We found out from an MRI scan that he is blind and 30% of his brain received carbon monoxide damage. A few days ago, they stopped sedating him and when he wakes up they try to get him to respond to commands and communicate, both of which he won't do. He just jerks around. I suspect he's upset because he can't see or control his body properly.

 

Yesterday, we learned that he has a serious blood infection, a staph infection of some sort, and that he is unable to keep any of the food he's receiving through a gastric tube down. If he's not able to keep anything down by Monday, his sister says they will be putting him in comfort care, where they'll stop treating him and make what's left of his life "comfortable."

 

I know he's in there. I'm not allowed to visit because I am not considered family, but his sister let him listen to a recording of my voice before they had stopped sedating him completely and his eyes opened and he moved around a lot. He wanted to talk back to me but couldn't figure out how. It was the biggest reaction they'd been able to incite out of him before they took him entirely off the sedation medication.

 

Everyone has been telling me that a staph infection is serious and that there's not much hope, but I've been praying and asking all my friends who believe in such things to pray for a miracle. I also pray they find whoever did this and lock him away before he can hurt anyone else.

 

I feel like a basketcase. I'll be fine for most of the day, happy in my delusion that everything will turn out for the best, but then someone will say something that randomly reminds me of James and I'll burst into tears. I don't trust myself to go out into public. I've been trying to keep myself busy. My daughter and I go out on the patio a lot to play and when I can't sleep at night I macrame bracelets to sell at his and Michael's benefit next week or play games with a friend. I hate this waiting game. I don't know what to do. I feel so powerless.

 

Oh my gosh, that's horrible! I am so sorry you are going through this and sorry for the loss of Michael. Of course, it's completely understandable if you can't handle work or school or whatever right now. Take some time to process your emotions. Is there any other family besides your daughter you can talk to? A shoulder you can cry on? I hope that James does recover and perhaps that you can send him more recordings through his sister.

 

That is so hard. *hugs* I am so sorry. I also help they catch the arsonist! <3

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