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Obscure_Trash

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If you really and truly want to give P another chance, I would seriously stick with this. 

 

I'm going to tell you the truth from the odd feeling I'm getting after reading your posts about the situation.  I'm in my mid 30s, yes and I still play DC, I've been through a lot in my life and helped friends through a lot of their own situations too. 

 

I want you to be super careful of P.  This situation screams abuseive relationship.  This can happen in friendships just like families or romantic relationships.  Also remeber, emotional abuse is just as bad as physical or sexual abuse.

In the situation the abuser starts something, blaming the other person.  The other person "made" them get angry, and basically blames the other person for anything they are feeling badly about while just tearing them down.  After the courting/apology/honeymoon period begins.  The abuser is very sorry, will never do it again, makes all sorts of promises, gives gifts, and is the most amazing person EVER to the other person...  Until they start the cycle over- small insults, the other person isn't good enough, etc.

 

Just be careful.  P needs to proove that she wants to earn your trust back again.  Honestly after something like that, I'd stay kind of distant for a very long time.  It's ok to know you were close in the past and care so much, but sometimes people change in ways that aren't so awesome.  She might have to grow out of a nasty phase on her own.

 

I'm not going to lecture you about cutting.  That won't help at all and will probabily just be the same stuff you have heard a zillion times.  I want to give you lots of hugs!!!  *huggggssss*  And tell you it's OK to post about stuff or talk to people you trust when you are stressed and feeling like this.  No apologies necessairy. 

 

 

So yeah.  Big post with a lot of love to you!  Yeah, I went into crazy auntie/big sister mode.

Quoted for emphasis, as my gut is *screaming* thisthisthis reading Lady L's posts.

Lady L, I really really think you should cut both of them out of your life for your own mental health. *adds more hugs and COOKIES!*

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Hi!

 

Are you an introvert normally? I am... Sometimes I have a hard time understanding what I did to tick off my friends. Sounds very familliar to me.

 

Have you tried pulling your friend aside when it is just one on one and asking them what happened and how you managed to upset them? As dippy as it seems, those conflict resolution techniques work great for this stuff. I statements in particular.

"I'm confused about what happened, and I feel badly I upset you. I would like to know how it happened so I can make the effort to avoid it in the future. I was trying to be myself, but I am concerned I may have hurt you unintentonally."

 

It is a confrontational type of solution, but short of someone inventing a magic pill or cream that gives us psychic powers, well, I'm coming up empty.

 

Of course if the answer you get is something obnoxious, like they disagree with your opinion and can't accept that you have different views, they might not be the best people if they don't want to accept you for you.

Introvert is an understatement. I struggle a lot with communicating with people

 

I actually tried that last night before coming on here (after some babbling about how I was terrible at facing my issues head on, I was finally convinced to just go do it, stupid amazing girlfriend being all mature) He basically said he was upset because he couldn't help me. To which I responded that I didn't need help. And then he basically insisted I did.

 

It just seems like whenever I open up to someone, something that freaks them out or they're convinced is wrong comes up and they take it upon themselves to fix me. I just really need less people trying to "help" and more people who will just let me exist in my creepy little way

 

In other words, be yourself. If they can't handle it, they're welcome to move along. But you need to do what's best for you

Also this is almost a direct quote from one of my other friends who is like this >_>

Just be you! If they can't handle it, that's their problem. But you need to do what's best for you

(Apparently I have it memorized dry.gif )

 

Of course then darkness or blood or something comes up and everyone freaks out and yells at me

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ohh thank you all so much for these lovely replies i'm so sorry i freaked out i was in a really bad emotional place last night and luckily another friend phoned and talked to me and so i'm okay!!!

 

SockPuppet Strangler i'm so sorry for freaking out i promise i won't say anything like that anymore i know it's really serious and triggering i'm really sorry <333

 

naww lunevis, its all going to be ok. I know it sounds cliche but trust me on this. Dont continue cutting, dont think about selfharm. You will get past this. Life will be easier from here on. I know how you feel, friends have turned against me, and they have changed. Now that p has begun to be nice, maybe actually think about this. Does p know that you are so emotional now? Has she realised enough that she herself has cut loose from b and become friends with you again? Maybe you should ask p about what is happening, but dont even think about b. b is someone you should never try to be friends with.

 

you can also find school counselling, or tell a teacher about your troubles, they can make sure school isnt too hard for you if you're struggling.

 

My advice isnt very professional, but its what i can think of right now. <3 i hope everything gets better soon!

 

ohh thank you so much <33 i'm so sorry that you've had similar experiences; i hope things are better!! <33 good luck with your mother and everything please stay strong you are such a lovely person whaa <33

 

i have asked p about cutting loose from b and she has agreed with me before that we would be better off without b, but for some reason p can't seem to cut herself away from b?? like she says she's going to do it but she keeps going back and talking to her so i honestly don't know what's happening; maybe p does feel dedicated to b in some way? either way, i agree; i'm not going near b not even if someone pays me. thank you so much for all of this aa <33

 

aaa i would but honestly i feel like that would cause them to call my parents and my parents are really supportive so it's like : ' ^ ) mom doesn't understand and dad is going through other stuff rn so ,,,

but yes if it gets bad i do have friends i can talk to and people i can text for comfort, thank you so much!! <33

 

your advice was more than enough i'm so honoured thank you so much <33 it means a lot thankl you for taking time out of your day <33

 

Maybe you should tell P that you want to take a bit of a break for a while. Explain how conflicted you feel on the relationship and why you're confused, then say that you're going to just take a few days to calm down and really think over everything and if it's really worth it going forward or not.

 

That's what I would do, I think. And whatever decision you make, I'd tell it to P so she's not left hanging.

 

I'm sorry you're having to go through with this. Ending relationships is never easy. :c

 

i did; but for some reason she took it really seriously?? like she saying how she would remove me and go away bc it was better for me and everything so it was kinda like all or nothing and i was like oh no what do

ohh thank you so much!! <33 yeah now that i'm thinking more clearly i'll send her a message like that and see how it goes. c:

 

ohh that's a really good idea!! she's still a friend so she doesn't deserve that; thank you, i'll do exactly that!!

 

ohh thank you <33 yeah, it really isn't. :c i have a super hard time because i get super attached to people sometimes but ,, ahh, it's a working process.

 

If you really and truly want to give P another chance, I would seriously stick with this.

 

I'm going to tell you the truth from the odd feeling I'm getting after reading your posts about the situation. I'm in my mid 30s, yes and I still play DC, I've been through a lot in my life and helped friends through a lot of their own situations too.

 

I want you to be super careful of P. This situation screams abuseive relationship. This can happen in friendships just like families or romantic relationships. Also remeber, emotional abuse is just as bad as physical or sexual abuse.

In the situation the abuser starts something, blaming the other person. The other person "made" them get angry, and basically blames the other person for anything they are feeling badly about while just tearing them down. After the courting/apology/honeymoon period begins. The abuser is very sorry, will never do it again, makes all sorts of promises, gives gifts, and is the most amazing person EVER to the other person... Until they start the cycle over- small insults, the other person isn't good enough, etc.

 

Just be careful. P needs to proove that she wants to earn your trust back again. Honestly after something like that, I'd stay kind of distant for a very long time. It's ok to know you were close in the past and care so much, but sometimes people change in ways that aren't so awesome. She might have to grow out of a nasty phase on her own.

 

I'm not going to lecture you about cutting. That won't help at all and will probabily just be the same stuff you have heard a zillion times. I want to give you lots of hugs!!! *huggggssss* And tell you it's OK to post about stuff or talk to people you trust when you are stressed and feeling like this. No apologies necessairy.

You can stop, it's wicked hard and doesn't make you a bad person if it takes years to overcome. One of my best friends in the entire world had a stupendiously difficult time growing up due to family issues and her mental health. She's an amazing woman, awesome mom to three biological kids, and a rockin' step mom to four other kids. She married a totally different guy than she ever thought growing up, but he is a great match. She was a stay at home mom for a while, but went back to school and is doing nursing eldercare right now.

She went through trial by fire and came out stronger - like steel for a knife. It gets heated and pounded as it is formed- the more heats and working the stronger it ends up.

That said, I think this is one of the webpages she reccommends to people who SI http://www.selfinjury.com

I can't remember the names or find the links she had on her old LJ before it came down, but that one looks familliar... Just putting it out there.

 

Life isn't like a movie, we don't have to figure out everything and have it tied up in a neat bow. Remember that when you are stressed and upset. It's going to be hard, messy, crazy sometimes. Others it will be really fun, or easy, or relaxing, or just happy.  smile.gif

 

So yeah. Big post with a lot of love to you! Yeah, I went into crazy auntie/big sister mode.

 

ohh thank you so much for helping me with this <33--and that's okay! biggrin.gif there's all kinds of people that play dc here and for one thank you so much for sharing your . . . i guess experience??? it really does help and give a nicer view so aa thank you <33

 

aaa honestly ?? i don't see how it's emotional but i'm also really bad at telling bc i've been emotionally abused for most of my life : ' ^ ) so ti's really hard for me to tell but oh thank you <33

u g h now that you put it that way,,, that does sound really awful w ow

thank you. i'm going to take really good care for sure and be careful when talking to p--i know that sometimes people just change for the worst and while it's really awful it does happen :c i'll be sure to be more careful!! thank you <33 and yeah, if we do continue talking i'm pretty sure it won't be as close as we used to be.

 

//hugs back// ohh thank you so much!! <33 i'm doing okay ; v ; i kinda freaked out and had a really bad episode but i'm recovering and i'm trying so thank you so much <333

aaa thank you!! i always worry that i'm bothering people when i rant or that it's too much to them but even so sometimes this just happens and it reminds me that people care so thank you so much, it's so important to me <33

oh my gosh your friend is like my hero!!! hearing these kinds of stories always give me hope. c: i hope she's doing okay she sounds awesome!

aaa yeah i know i can stop cutting--it's just so hard sometimes because of illness and stress and everything :c but i'll try my best!! admittedly cutting honestly doesn't make anything better in the end so thank you <33 i will try my best; and i'll learn to be more lenient with myself and ask for help when i need it. aa thank you <33

that's true; things like this do make you a stronger person. that's for sure.

ohh thank you!! i looked around the website for a while--this is great!! and i'll poke around other sites and everything aa thank you <33 i still have a headache and i haven't ate much these three days but i think the worst is over and things are getting better now--i'm glad. smile.gif

 

ahh thank you <33 i agree with that. my sadness is uncontrollable and i have a really hard time managing my anger as well--i'm working on that, but we'll see how it goes. and here's to many happy events in the future!!!

 

ohh thank you so much!! <33 your reply was so important aaa thank you <33 and thank you for the 'mode', too xd.png it really makes me feel special when people take time out of their day to talk to me, so thank you!!

 

Quoted for emphasis, as my gut is *screaming* thisthisthis reading Lady L's posts.

Lady L, I really really think you should cut both of them out of your life for your own mental health. *adds more hugs and COOKIES!*

 

your gut might be right, as much as i hate to say such a thing :c they were really good friends to be in the past but i agree--they're just harmful now. sad.gif

 

thank you for the hugs ( i typoed thugs LOL ) and cookies!!! //gives you hugs and cookies too // it really means a lot; i know i repeat this a lot and it's everywhere but aaa i'm so emotional it reallydoes thank you <333

i'm never, ever going to speak to b again. that girl is literally just horrible for me. as for p--we'll see how it goes. thank you for the reply!! <33

 

~~

 

still but aaa i'm so honoured at all of the responses i've gotten thank all of you so much <33 this is a super long post whoa but i'm just so happy to have all of you take time out of your day to help me with this--i appreciate all of your feedback and i really think i'm doing better now thanks to it. c: i'm still a bit conflicted on what to do with p but i've successfully cut b out of my life--and because of that i'm miles happier. so thank you everyone <33 i'm sorry for making it such a stressful few days!! i hope everyone has a good day //gives hugs to everyone needing support either right now or in the future, and everyone here that helps you are all super amazing and nice whaa <33

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@Lady_L: I'm surprised you changed your profile photo. I dislike it. It scares me. I suppose you need to wear light colour and not dark so you'll feel cheerful. smile.gif Also, listen to the anime song (link above) it will cheer you up. It says "You'll be alright!". If you are more cheerful, I'm happy.

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I am too shy. I have no friends and I eat lunch by myself. All my teachers either hate me or pity me because of my shyness. When the class has to pick partners, I am always the one without a partner. Sometimes I skip class to avoid picking partners. My grades are slipping because I am too afraid to ask questions or tell my teacher if I can't see the board. Making eye contact is physically painful for me and smiling is impossible. Whenever I have to give a presentation, I feel like fainting or throwing up. Everybody thinks I am rude because I'm so quiet. I feel so jealous of other people who are shy, but still have friends. If they can do it, why is it so hard for me?

My parents say I will outgrow this, but I'm really worried I won't. I'm already in high school and I have been like this since I first started going to school. I've looked up advice online on how to overcome this, but everyone says I should just open up more and that is impossible for me. Whenever someone is friendly to me, I start trembling and my voice shakes so bad I can't speak. I'm scared I won't be able to get a job or get married because of my shyness. I feel like my future is hopeless and I just wish I was never born.

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I am too shy. I have no friends and I eat lunch by myself. All my teachers either hate me or pity me because of my shyness. When the class has to pick partners, I am always the one without a partner. Sometimes I skip class to avoid picking partners. My grades are slipping because I am too afraid to ask questions or tell my teacher if I can't see the board. Making eye contact is physically painful for me and smiling is impossible. Whenever I have to give a presentation, I feel like fainting or throwing up. Everybody thinks I am rude because I'm so quiet. I feel so jealous of other people who are shy, but still have friends. If they can do it, why is it so hard for me?

My parents say I will outgrow this, but I'm really worried I won't. I'm already in high school and I have been like this since I first started going to school. I've looked up advice online on how to overcome this, but everyone says I should just open up more and that is impossible for me. Whenever someone is friendly to me, I start trembling and my voice shakes so bad I can't speak. I'm scared I won't be able to get a job or get married because of my shyness. I feel like my future is hopeless and I just wish I was never born.

First, let me start out by offering a hug. Sometimes that's the best thing that can be done. This particular problem, however, there are a lot of things that can be done! Your future is not hopeless, and with enough effort in the right direction, you could be surprised how much everything changes.

 

Is there anybody you DO feel comfortable around? Parents, relative, old childhood friend who you lost contact with? Start there. Those are the people who can help you. If not, find someone on the internet. There are plenty of people, myself included, who would be happy to talk with you. Send me a PM if you want to talk about anything, I'd be happy to talk or just listen smile.gif

 

The next thing is that you need to somehow work on is becoming more comfortable talking to people. You don't need to reach out to them, but if someone is talking to you, they might think that you're turning them down if you have trouble responding. This isn't your fault, and you should do your best to tell them so. It's nothing personal. Start small. Just one person is good. Look to see who is most friendly to you; there will almost always be people who go out of their way to be friendly to everyone, especially people who lack friends. On the other hand, maybe it would be better to find another shy person, who understands what you are going through.

 

This is a gradual process, and expecting instant results is setting yourself up for failure. However, I speak from experience when I say that one person, even online, to talk to about everyday STUFF can make an enormous difference.

 

In a situation like this, anonymous help forums online aren't necessarily the best place to go. The people there don't know what you're going through, and they won't interact on a personal level. Try to find that one person who you are comfortable talking to, and just talk with them. Again, that person doesn't have to be someone you know face-to-face, but it helps.

 

There are two more things I'd like to address. People should not think you're rude when you're quiet. You might be mis-reading their emotions, or they could be mis-reading your emotions. Try to make it clear you're not ignoring them. That doesn't mean you have to respond to every little piece of idle chit-chat that comes your way, just make some effort to acknowledge it.

 

 

Other shy people do not necessarily have friends. The people you are talking about are actually introverts, people who prefer to keep their thoughts to themselves. Those people tend to make very few friends, but very close friends. Truly shy people often are just like you, and you might be surprised how many there are if you look closely enough.

 

On an academic note, is homeschool an option? Or is there a way you could work after class with the teachers?

 

Please don't hesitate to PM me about anything.

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Is there anybody you DO feel comfortable around? Parents, relative, old childhood friend who you lost contact with? Start there. Those are the people who can help you.

I have a sister who I used to talk to this about, but I stopped because I felt like I was being too much of a burden on her. She would always include me when she hanging out with her friends and I could tell they all felt awkward with me there. Looking back now, I think I was overreacting. I'll trying talking to her again.

 

The next thing is that you need to somehow work on is becoming more comfortable talking to people. You don't need to reach out to them, but if someone is talking to you, they might think that you're turning them down if you have trouble responding. This isn't your fault, and you should do your best to tell them so. It's nothing personal.

Lots of people have tried to befriend me, but they always gave up because I never really opened up. I'll try telling them about my shyness and see if that helps.

 

People should not think you're rude when you're quiet. You might be mis-reading their emotions, or they could be mis-reading your emotions. Try to make it clear you're not ignoring them. That doesn't mean you have to respond to every little piece of idle chit-chat that comes your way, just make some effort to acknowledge it.

People think I'm rude because they feel like I don't want to talk to them when I don't say anything. I also have a hard time saying 'thank you' or 'excuse me,' so that's another reason.

 

On an academic note, is homeschool an option? Or is there a way you could work after class with the teachers?

Homeschool is definitely not an option. My parents fit the strict Asian stereotype and wouldn't even consider it. I could work with my teachers after school, but talking to them is difficult. I could ask my sister to come with me for some classes, but with others we have different teachers.

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I have a sister who I used to talk to this about, but I stopped because I felt like I was being too much of a burden on her. She would always include me when she hanging out with her friends and I could tell they all felt awkward with me there. Looking back now, I think I was overreacting. I'll trying talking to her again.

 

 

Lots of people have tried to befriend me, but they always gave up because I never really opened up. I'll try telling them about my shyness and see if that helps.

 

 

People think I'm rude because they feel like I don't want to talk to them when I don't say anything. I also have a hard time saying 'thank you' or 'excuse me,' so that's another reason.

 

 

Homeschool is definitely not an option. My parents fit the strict Asian stereotype and wouldn't even consider it. I could work with my teachers after school, but talking to them is difficult. I could ask my sister to come with me for some classes, but with others we have different teachers.

You're not a burden to your sister! She loves you, even if she doesn't necessarily always show it. That's one thing that is near-universally true of all siblings. See if your sister will do your homework with you. Is she older, younger, or about the same? If she's older, she definitely can understand and support you through anything.

 

You don't have to open up all at once to people who try to befriend you; that's completely unrealistic. See if you can start small. Really small. Forum game type things can be a nice way to get to know someone if you're really bad at just chatting.

 

I have no idea which you need, but a person who will just listen to you and not judge can be nice, a person who will just talk to you and not expect you to say anything back is nice, and a person who does both is also nice. It completely depends on what kind of interaction you need. From what I hear, I think you just need a person who will talk, and let you listen.

 

It would also definitely help if you could find somebody to study with. One idea (for the teachers who sympathize with you, at least) is to work out a discreet signal with them that you can use when you can't see the board. You wouldn't have to say anything or draw any attention to yourself.

 

If you are schooling in Asia, it's definitely different, so I don't know exactly how to help you. All I can say is be yourself, and try not to let fear of what other people think or that they are watching interfere. Whatever you might think, "yourself" is NOT a fundamentally shy and reclusive person. I have no idea what you are like, but just know that you are not defined by your shortcomings, and the very best thing you can do is strive to overcome them.

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Sending love and good thoughts to people today. I've been reading, but the iOS update made safari goofy and it freezes up most of the time I type online... Trying for a work around.

 

MW898, long post got eaten three times with thoughts for you. I'll try again this weekend or copy paste from the notepad.

 

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You're not a burden to your sister! She loves you, even if she doesn't necessarily always show it. That's one thing that is near-universally true of all siblings. See if your sister will do your homework with you. Is she older, younger, or about the same? If she's older, she definitely can understand and support you through anything.

She's my twin, so about the same age. It's a little embarrassing asking for help, but I don't think she'll judge me.

 

You don't have to open up all at once to people who try to befriend you; that's completely unrealistic. See if you can start small. Really small. Forum game type things can be a nice way to get to know someone if you're really bad at just chatting.

Being too hard on myself is definitely a problem I have. I alway expect too much and end up disappointed.

 

It would also definitely help if you could find somebody to study with. One idea (for the teachers who sympathize with you, at least) is to work out a discreet signal with them that you can use when you can't see the board. You wouldn't have to say anything or draw any attention to yourself.

This is a really good idea. smile.gif

 

If you are schooling in Asia, it's definitely different, so I don't know exactly how to help you. All I can say is be yourself, and try not to let fear of what other people think or that they are watching interfere. Whatever you might think, "yourself" is NOT a fundamentally shy and reclusive person. I have no idea what you are like, but just know that you are not defined by your shortcomings, and the very best thing you can do is strive to overcome them.

I'm not living in Asia, I was just born there. "Being myself" is a rather difficult thing to do since I'm not entirely sure what my personality is. I have never opened up to anybody outside my family, so I'm not sure how differently I should behave.

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Radiant, may I ask how old you are? I recall being quiet and shy through most of high school - not quite to your degree, I don't think, but still. Anyway, my senior year of high school I think my mind finally just said "f**k it", and I was able to shake free of it.

 

It may not be true in your case, but then, I'm a firm believer that the older you get, the more you start to not care what other people think of you - at least in the quagmire that is junior high and high school. And really, who cares what your teachers and classmates think. You'll be free of that place in a few short years, and none of those people will matter anyway. Just bide your time, do your time, and soon it'll be done.

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It may not be true in your case, but then, I'm a firm believer that the older you get, the more you start to not care what other people think of you

I really hope this is true but in my opinion I think I'm getting worse. I used to be able to talk to others if a family member was with me, but that doesn't work anymore.

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I'm not living in Asia, I was just born there. "Being myself" is a rather difficult thing to do since I'm not entirely sure what my personality is. I have never opened up to anybody outside my family, so I'm not sure how differently I should behave.

The important thing about being yourself is to not TRY to be anything. It's more about trying not to be things. It's definitely a gradual thing, and again, try not to be too hard on yourself. Self-hate is definitely a large factor in this; that makes it harder to open up to people. Maybe the first step out of this is growing to like yourself and accept who you are.

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(I feel like my point would be made much better if I was allowed to swear on this forum, but alas, that is not the case.)

 

So for some reason I have an incredible knack for making friends with the most insufferable people I meet.

 

So basically, I've known a handful of people on another site for anywhere from three to six years. Considering I'm only twenty, that's a substantial amount of time for me. We're extremely close and know each other incredibly well, and there are a few I would trust with my life if it truly came down to it.

 

Except a couple of those people I would trust with my life like to treat me like dirt when they feel like doing so.

 

Ehhh, here's where I don't really know how to explain things, as context is required. My friends and I are on a small, close-knit roleplaying forum. We've been a community in various forms for years. We have an IRC chatroom that most of us hang out at for the better part of the day, every day. It's a small enough community and a typical enough thing where someone being absent for even most of one day is rare, and we notice it.

 

So it's about... 80% of the time that I'm on this chat that I feel aggravated, depressed, or just generally annoyed at one of a select few people. We joke around with each other a lot, say things most friends wouldn't say to each other, and for the most part we laugh it off and take it in stride. Sometimes, however- and this has gotten increasingly frequent lately- someone goes too far with a flippant remark, focuses one one particular mocking joke for too long, and someone gets fed up and either leaves or explodes.

 

Everyone except the person in question (who varies- sometimes it's person A, sometimes person B, etc, sometimes myself) and maybe a couple of bystanders tell the person to get over it, it's just the internet, you're playing into the reaction that's wanted, etc. One of the regulars on the chat- the owner- is particularly bad about this, as you really can't describe his personality accurately without including "abrasive", "arrogant", or similar words. Problem is, aside from his love of pushing buttons, he's one of the people I respect the most in that chatroom, which is probably why his jabs tend to hurt me the deepest.

 

Focusing on myself for the rest of this post- I can't speak for anyone else- I'm well-known for overreacting or getting defensive over trivial things, such as a particular favorite roleplay character of mine being the butt of a joke every time I bring him up. Multiple times I've tried calmly telling the people responsible to knock it off (usually resulting in being called "salty" or somesuch), rolling with it, or just refusing to acknowledge the joke period.

 

Also a couple of times I've taken breaks from the chat- breaks which were noticed, obviously- and at the end of a weekend-long one which served extremely well to get me in a better mindset, this particular person basically summed up those three days as a "ragequit".

 

If I keep going every day, I'll have to deal with this every day. If I take a small hiatus, it'll be all the worse when I return. I can't fully leave because these people are, despite everything, my closest friends. If I hadn't had them a few years ago I likely would not be able to type this post right now.

 

I can't even speak in my own defense without certain people dismissing me as "salty", or overly defensive, or making up excuses. If I say something ambiguous, and people take it the wrong way, I get people poking at me for it. If I explain myself, I'm called out for overjustifying myself.

 

It's just... a complete and total lose-lose situation for me.

Edited by Kiryu

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user posted image

 

That pretty much sums it up.

 

It wouldn't matter why I felt like crap around this group 80% of the time. I wouldn't need to over think it, over analyze it and/or agonize over it. . The only thing that would matter to me is the bottom line...that I felt like total and utter crap around this group the vast majority of the time and that when I was around them, I felt diminished, not better, for it, and that's all I'd need to know. I'd disappear off the face of the earth as far as they were concerned and good riddance. For me, it really would be that simple.

Edited by MedievalMystic

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^^^^^^^THIS. So much this. Kiryu, if these people do nothing but make you miserable, respect yourself to cut your losses and move on. All you are is a punching bag for these people, and by the sound of it, none of them hold you in esteem anywhere near what you do them, and you give them far more credit than they deserve, imo.

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I've been feeling the same bad way for the past months.

In school, at first I thought it was just my social anxiety issues especially since I spent everyday sitting through class without any friends but then these terrible feelings of uselessness became worse.

I started This is a serious issue and, unfortunately, not one we here at DC are equipped to handle. We do hope that you may get professional help for this or at least contact a helpline or forum specifically meant to help with this. and there were a lot of time where I'd just lock myself in the bathroom when I get home after school to just cry, and I never really knew the reason why - I just felt utterly hopeless.

Then I came to the conclusion that I probably have depression and slowly it became more apparent.

 

No one but my best friend from my old school knows about this. I don't want to feel like this anymore. I know I should really tell someone about it soon but I don't have the guts to yet.

Today I just felt like I needed to get all this off my chest so I can at least try to enjoy my own birthday a bit.

 

//end of vent ;-;

Edited by SockPuppet Strangler

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How close in distance are you and your best friend from your old school? It might be easier to tell people so you can get help if your friend can be there with you to give you support and courage. <3

 

Admitting here that you're depressed and want help is a huuuuuge step! You should be really proud of yourself. This had to be hard enough, but if you could admit it here, I'm sure you'll be able to admit it out loud to people who can help. *huggles*

 

Also, happy birthday! Hope you get some delicious cake or something else wonderful. o3o

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My 93 yr old grandma fell today before we were going to sit down for thanksgiving dinner and dislocated her shoulder (we found out after taking her to the hospital). My mom had to say that this could be a sign of the decline. That's why I quit my job and I moved up here (so she would not be living alone) but that doesn't make it easy to think about. sad.gif

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Wishing you the best, ytak. Good health to your grandmother. I hope she gets well soon.

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How close in distance are you and your best friend from your old school? It might be easier to tell people so you can get help if your friend can be there with you to give you support and courage. <3

 

Admitting here that you're depressed and want help is a huuuuuge step! You should be really proud of yourself. This had to be hard enough, but if you could admit it here, I'm sure you'll be able to admit it out loud to people who can help. *huggles*

 

Also, happy birthday! Hope you get some delicious cake or something else wonderful. o3o

Thank you for the support, Sock!

 

My friend lives roughly 2 hours away from where I am, but we and some other former classmates are planning to hang out somewhere for a little Christmas party/class reunion next weekend so that should be a nice way to have fun and relax. smile.gif

 

I'm thinking of telling my mom about it over the weekend since she'll be less busy and my siblings won't be home as well.

 

So yeah, thanks so much! It really means a lot. I did get a really good cake and I've been feeling better. I'm also gonna start working on quitting my 'bad habits'. c;

Thanks again!!

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Why am I so good at offending people without meaning to?

 

A user on FurAffinity sparked a huge controversial discussion about the whole Ferguson decision, and even though I was civil about it I still expressed a dissenting opinion and she got mad about it. So she deleted that journal, made a new one, the conversation continued there, some people were extremely aggressive about it while I tried to stay civil. That journal was deleted as well and she made a new one to say she was taking a break from the site.

 

I posted a sincere apology, she gave a heated reply because apparently I said something that offended her, and she wouldn't take my apology for that.

 

I guess my "this is insulting" filter is just broken.

 

I don't need her approval or forgiveness to like her art, so I've already washed my hands of her, but just... ugh.

 

Edit:

okay no this person is just crazy

 

I made a journal on deviantArt just to vent a little bit and she actually came to the journal and told me to leave her alone. What?

 

http://puu.sh/d9Vyg/3d39ec6e6f.png

http://puu.sh/d9W7i/f4e28672ce.png

 

Bear in mind this isn't even on the website where I apparently offended her.

 

I'm done.

Edited by Kiryu

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