Description comments

[Lagie]

^

 

Trotsky's Flaming DragonMaiden:

DragonMaiden considers herself a female hellhorse in a male hellhorse body. The fact that she considers herself asexual only compounds the problem. The lady hellhorses are always hitting on her, thinking she's male, and the males, well, they avoid her like the plague. DM lives a rather quiet life on the edges of the cave, hoping some day to find a companion who thinks like her and doesn't mind her body.

 

Accept: I'll keep my fingers crossed for her, so she will find somone (: ~NE

Accept: Very good! ~D

 

Trotsky's Faberge Silver Clock:

"Tick tock goes the clock. He cradled her and he rocked her. Tick tock goes the clock. Even for the Doctor..."

Tick, as he likes to be called, constantly sings all the verses of this slightly creepy song and refuses to explain what they mean. The other dragons have taken to turning around and flying in the other direction now whenever they hear him coming.

 

Accept:

Accept: Ah, perfect. That IS a creepy song. ~D

Accept:

 

Trotsky's Rhudd Capulet:

Much to his parents' dismay, Capulet hated his brother Montagu on sight. They tried to blame it on his egg having rolled far away when it was laid, but it really seems to be something deep in Capulet's personality, unchanging and inexplicable. They try to keep the two brothers as far away from each other as possible. Everyone in the cave knows, though, when their paths happen to cross as the tension can be cut with a knife and the shouting is immediate.

 

Accept: Oh, I'm sorry they don't get along. -MS

Accept: Not bad. ~D

 

(It's a Shakespeare thing, MoonShark! )

 

Trotsky's Low Flying Chickens:

Chix hatched at a time when there were a couple of chickens strutting about the hatchery. Now, she's inclined to cluck when she's happy or excited, and she loves a good meal of corn! Since her chicken friends can't fly properly, Chix doesn't either, preferring to do low-level flying only when absolutely necessary.

 

Accept:

Accept: D'aww, cute. :3 ~D

 

My CB nhios are original Bionic Woman episodes, one of which was 'The Martians are Coming, The Martians are Coming'. The low flying chickens is a quote from the episode, but fit well since I did have two chicken eggs recently!

[MyMelody]

Well, I'v got this describtion for my frozen Neggie:

On cloudy days, the dragons sing a rare song with this story to honour the dragon:

"Somebody killed little Susie

The girl with the tune

Who sings in the daytime at noon

She was there screaming

Beating her voice in her doom

But nobody came to her soon...

A fall down the stairs

Her dress torn

Oh the blood in her hair...

A mystery so sullen in air...

Everyone came to see

The girl that now is dead

So blind stare the eyes in her head...

And suddenly a voice from the crowd said

This girl lived in vain

Her face bears such agony, such strain...

But only the man from next door

Knew Little Susie and how he cried

As he reached down

To close Susie's eyes...

It was all for God's sake

For her singing the tune

For someone to feel her despair...

No one to care

Just to love her...

Rejecting the needs in her prayers.

Neglection can kill

like a knife in your soul

Oh it will

Little Susie fought so hard to live...

She lies there so tenderly

Fashioned so slendery

Lift her with care

So young and so fair".

This are the comments:

    Reject: Michael Jackson lyrics DON'T constitute a description -H

    Accept: So very sad... but she is not really dead like the song says. I got a little confused. Nevertheless, your leading sentence and the quotes make it work for the description. ~m

    Accept:

    Moderator Reject: Song lyrics that are copyrighted don't belong in descriptions.

    Accept:

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    Accept: I guess this describes the dragon. I'm not good with poetry. ~D

    Reject:

    Reject:

I would really love to see this lyrics in the describtion and at least I thougt I could change it like this:

This third Neglected dragon loves to make sounds. Unfortunately, she stopped growing. On cloudy days, the dragons sing a rare song with this story to honour the poor dragon:

"Somebody killed little Susie

The girl with the tune

Who sings in the daytime at noon

She was there screaming

Beating her voice in her doom

But nobody came to her soon...

A mystery so sullen in air...

Everyone came to see

The girl that now is dead

So blind stare the eyes in her head...

And suddenly a voice from the crowd said

This girl lived in vain

Her face bears such agony, such strain...

But only the man from next door

Knew Little Susie and how he cried

As he reached down

To close Susie's eyes...

It was all for God's sake

For her singing the tune

For someone to feel her despair...

No one to care

Just to love her...

Rejecting the needs in her prayers.

Neglection can kill

Like a knife in your soul

Oh it will

Little Susie fought so hard to live...

She lies there so tenderly

Fashioned so slendery

Lift her with care

So young and so fair".

 

But the moderator said it's not allowed to copy the text, even with the quotes?

Should I really change it to a boring:

"This third Neglected dragon loves to make sounds. Unfortunately, she stopped growing. On cloudy days, the dragons sing a rare song about a dead girl, named little Susie, to honour the poor dragon." ?

[Shelybear]

I'm not sure if it is accpetable to copy-paste lyrics. You might want to ask a mod directly. There is no mod's comment, all comments you got are from other players. Sorry, I missed a line. then you might want to explain it to a mod directly.

 

Personally, I don't like the idea of putting lyrics in descriptions. You are supposed to describe your DRAGON, its behaviours, funny stories about it, even rumours around it. But lyrics from song which not directly related to dragons...uhm, I don't think it is suitable.

Edited April 6, 2014 by Shelybear

[Dimar]

Oh yeah, using lyrics from real songs is totally unacceptable. There goes me not recognizing songs; I just thought it was poetry. Even if you add that extra bit to the beginning, having those lyrics in there at all is a Reject. Sorry about that.

[Lagie]

It works using a line or two from a song, but not the entire song.

[ShaydraSilversky]

Belly Drubber, a frozen Balloon hatchling:

This eternally young Balloon hatchling never stops bouncing. It latches itself to any friendly adult dragon in the Dusk Divide Keep and bounces along after them with its voluminous belly and strong legs. Its chaperones always find it companionable despite the fact that it cannot use telepathy, and it is named after the only sound it is capable of producing, a surprisingly loud drubbing it makes by pounding its front paws onto its belly whenever it's pleased - or hungry.

Accept: awww cute -MS

Accept: take out the second 'e' in 'chaperones'.

 

I actually looked up "chaperons vs. chaperones" at the time of writing the description, and both seemed to be correct. The latter is used where I live. My Firefox spellcheck also thinks nothing of it - should I change it? (Also, thanks MoonShark <3)

 

As a separate question, how long does it usually take for descriptions to be approved? I've started writing them again after my hiatus and it's been a while.

---

 

Scootch, a frozen Tangar hatchling:

"Scootch!" The cry is both a name and a recommended course of action that heralds the arrival of this frozen Tangar hatchling. It's surprisingly fast as it scoots into the area on its rear much as a dog does, hind feet lifted with a grin of mischief on its face. Without wings, this seems to be its main mode of transportation for reasons nobody is quite sure of, and no one is keen to find them out, being too busy getting out of the way. Wherever the hatchling scootches, an inexplicable fruity smell lingers afterwards.

Accept: my second dog scootched like that! lol like the description

Accept:

Accept: The name and description are just adorable. Excellent!

Accept: LOL nice way to explain that pose. ~D

 

Thanks guys I've had the idea to do a description for the pose ever since the Tangars came out. Them, and the ungendered Moonstone hatchling.

Edited April 6, 2014 by ShaydraSilversky

[Dimar]

I actually looked up "chaperons vs. chaperones" at the time of writing the description, and both seemed to be correct. The latter is used where I live. My Firefox spellcheck also thinks nothing of it - should I change it? (Also, thanks MoonShark <3)

 

As a separate question, how long does it usually take for descriptions to be approved? I've started writing them again after my hiatus and it's been a while.

I don't think it's necessary to change it. I believe that "chaperon" is originally correct since it came from French or whatever, but I also am accustomed to "chaperone" and they seem to both be acceptable as variants by dictionaries. Maybe it's regional by now; I've never even seen "chaperon" used where I live.

 

There's no set time for when a description will be approved: it varies a lot. It can take as long as several months, though, since there's such a long backlog and mods can't work on it all the time. However, some of the mods are OK with being PMed so you can ask them to check your descriptions for you and get it done faster. The ones that you can PM are generally Rubyshoes, Mousia, Thuban, Infinis, and Yosofine.

[Lagie]

I've never seen it without an e - so, of course, since Google is my friend!

*googles* and *gets*

 

chap·er·one

ˈSHapəˌrōn/

noun

noun: chaperon

 

1.

a person who accompanies and looks after another person or group of people.

synonyms: supervisor, companion, duenna, escort, minder, den mother More

"two teachers attended as chaperones"

dated

an older woman responsible for the decorous behavior of a young unmarried girl at social occasions.

 

verb

verb: chaperon

 

1.

accompany and look after or supervise.

synonyms: accompany, escort, attend, watch over, keep an eye on, protect, mind

 

It would seem the noun has an e and the verb does not. As I say, I've only every seen the word with an e (and as a noun!).

[ShaydraSilversky]

I've seen it used both as a verb and a noun, both with -e's at the end. I didn't know about that distinction, though! Seems a bit arbitrary. Thanks, Lagie.

 

And thanks Dimar, I think I'll describe a few more before asking a mod.

[Lagie]

Hmm. I'd forgotten I'd described this one!

 

Wild Dragon:

Wild was meant to be a vital component in something Lagie called a 'mint tree'. Wild, however, decided mints weren't meant to be trees, in trees, on trees, or of trees. She begrudgingly tried to oblige Lagie in breeding the third generation with no success. When Lagie replaced her, Wild left. She bundled her hoard into a kerchief, tied it to a stick, and set off for the Wilderness. Now, she has many friends and companions and the only use she has for a tree is to provide shade. Wild is a very happy dragon.

Accept: awwwwwww so cute <3 -MS

Accept: REBEL! REBELLLLL! -DT

Accept: Haha, nice job. ~D

Accept:

Accept:

[boogietimez]

These are a few of my favorite things...

 

Wizard Drin lives in a blackstone tower with his assistant and the many monsters he creates. He has a strange and surprising menagerie, but his prized monster is a zombie named Grogenstein. Its cage resembles a graveyard, and at night it rises from its grave to terrify and delight the Wizard's guests. Wizard Drin is an intensely curious dragon, and he has the smarts to have secured land of his own without pledging to serve brood, pack, nor lair. It requires delicate political maneuvering to maintain his position, but he enjoys the challenge as much as his independence. During the Winter Solstice, Wizard Drin and his monstrous helpers create toys for the hatchlings living in the area. He delivers the gifts during the longest night of the year with the help of his sometimes rival and sometimes friend, Grandfather Frost.

 

Accept:

Accept: Nice job! ~PG

Abstain: black stone (two words)

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Accept: Very good! ~D

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Accept: Wow! I really love this description. The only criticism I have is this, sometimes rival sometimes friend is a bit bulky I get a small point through, maybe shorten it? Anyways, good job on this! -Vinn

The abstain vote makes me sad. Blackstone is a type of stone that dragons make by breathing fire onto another type of stone, making it into something shiny and glossy and close to unbreakable when it cools (but it's malleable when it's cooking)!

 

In the caves, Sir Jailbreak is known as a scallywag, a scoundrel, and a scrimp. He is always looking for the best deal, and the unwary often find he has pulled the wool down over their eyes and duped them. The gossipmongers like to say the only sophisticated thing about him is his royal bloodline; he is the firstborn son of Lord Bounce and Lady Justice, who rule over Credo Lair. Sir Jailbreak works for his father as an overseer and has used his connections to amass an admirable horde for himself. Unfortunately, his wealth is a source of constant stress for the young dragon. Sir Jailbreak is so worried about being tricked out of his fortune that he finds a new hiding place for it at least twice a week. Quite like a squirrel, he sometimes forgets where he has hidden his stash. It is for this reason that the residents of Credo Lair sometimes stumble across a small fortune hidden among the rocks or in the underground hot springs.

 

Accept: Finders keepers, and it's no wonder Sir Jailbreak seeks to dupe others out of his own hoard. ~m

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Accept: Oh, this had me laughing! It's a great story!

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Accept: Good job! ~D

Accept:

M, your comment is my favorite of all comments anywhere! You're also one of my favorite letters in the alphabet, so A++.

 

Grandfather Frost is an exhaustingly old dragon who has been under a curse for the last century. He is cursed to live forever in the two transitory stages in life; as an old dragon and a young hatchling. His son, Young Frost, is actually his inner child come to life. This inner schism has caused Grandfather Frost to be grouchy and prone to holding a grudge, and it's often his 'son' who helps him come to see reason. He lives in a cave deep in the alpine biome, and rarely leaves his territory. Instead, his devoted friend and companion Wisker brings him news from the outside world and often brings food back to the den. Grandfather Frost leaves his den during the longest night of the year to help deliver presents to the good and bad hatchlings with Wizard Drin. A long time ago, they competed over who would win Wisker's affections, but Grandfather Frost captured her heart in the end. He keeps it in a jar, buried deep beneath his hoard of treasures.

 

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Accept: Interesting. ~D

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Accept: Never seen anything like this. Good job.

I just noticed I had used horde instead of hoard, so I had to redescribe. :[ I don't know why I keep missing those two up!

 

Darktol's name is spoken in frightened whispers by all who know it, and for good reason. Not too long ago his favorite prey was his own kind: dragons, and lots of them. His undead life was changed forever when he decided to hunt the wrong dragon. Mother Karina lured him out into the wilderness, far away from the others. What should have been an easy feeding was instantly foiled when the Mother began to sing. Her rich voice quieted the wild hunger inside of him for the first time, and he became as docile as a lamb. When Mother Karina left the clan of dragons he'd been terrorizing, Darktol went with her. He is slowly healing the fragments inside of himself with the Mother's help, and he is learning to feed without killing his prey. Unfortunately, his temper is still unstable, and he must be treated carefully when not with the Mother. A single look or a firm word from her can pull him out of a feeding frenzy, but the rest are still no better than prey.

 

Accept:

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Accept: Good job! ~D

Accept:

& I'm spent. Mostly I'm just trying to work up the motivation to describe more dragons. I have stories knocking around inside my head, but my fingers would rather talk about other things. On an unrelated note, I'll edit this and put Grog's description in once I can find him again. He's always disappearing! I think he's holding a grudge because I stabbed him with a sword and then blamed it on the wizard...

[Shelybear]

Well done,boogietimez! Keep it up!

 

I wonder who is the M..Myon or Matt?

 

I was too impatient and poked Sock to approve my descriptions..I miss the chance to get your lovely comments unless I re-submit it.

(Thank you to Sock:p)

[CNR4806]

Well done,boogietimez! Keep it up!

 

I wonder who is the M..Myon or Matt?

I always sign with a capital M, so that wasn't me.

[ShaydraSilversky]

Principe, a frozen male Swallowtail hatchling:

 

Principe is a prince among hatchlings. Wise beyond his apparent age and skilled at flight despite his incomplete development, he awes the other frozen hatchlings - many whom cannot fly - with his acrobatics. He further earns his title by helping still-growing hatchlings learn their wings, and when his pupils mature into adults they remember him still. As a result, Principe has the good favor of many a full-grown dragon, many of them several times his size, and he uses his connections to benefit his fellow frozen hatchlings.

Accept: I am delighted by your creative description, and even more so by your proper use of hyphens.

Accept: Good job! ~D

Accept:

Accept:

Reject: Gary Stu Gary Stu Gary Stu too perfect

 

Wow, Reject voter, what's your damage? D: Principe's hardly game-breaking and his description's plausible enough. Gary Stu? I think not.

 

Thanks, first Accept voter, I'm glad my grammar pleases you c:

[Shelybear]

Got this with the help from descripdoom.

 

For a magi:

Chicken-hollic is notorious for his odd hobby: teleporting chickens. It was weird that all chickens who approached him disappeared suddenly. Nobody knew where those chickens went, until one day a survivor returned with burned feathers and countless wounds on her body. She revealed that a remote bonfire awaited at the other end of the teleport. "I heard him say as I was being teleported, 'omelet or roll'" said the poor chicken. This made all the other chickens in the clan panic, and they now keep their distance from Chicken-hollic.

 

And comments:

Accept: LOVE IT! <3 -MS

Accept: YAYAYAYAY Autumn this is great! -Hawk

Accept: Ahahaha, that's pretty funny. x3 ~D

 

Thank you to all<3 You made my day:3

 

And this one..is for Two-headed Lindwurms.

Unlike Ext3h and TJ09, TJ09 and Ext3h are more gentle and peaceful. They don't know why their owner named them similarly, just as they can't understand why Ext3h and TJ09 argue about everything.

TJ09 and Ext3h are twins. They not only physically resemble each other, but also in personality, which is enough to confuse other dragons who are not so familiar with them. They found this out by chance and immediately fall on it. They temporarily switch their identities to amuse newbies, which makes those newbies dizzy and have no idea which is which. When TJ09 is called, Ext3h replies instead of her and vice versa. As time passes, the community tends to shout out 'TJ09 and Ext3h' rather than address them individually.

To separate them, there is only one method: ask them whether male Ext3h or male TJ09 is cleverer. An Autumn seasonal, who is in charge of the whole cave, pointed out, "the one who answers TJ09 is Ext3h while the one who answers Ext3h must be TJ09."

 

Comments:

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Accept: *snorts* Of course this is the pairing you and Myon are writing about. x3 ~D

 

Dimar, you should have a look at this.

 

EDIT:Sorry Ruby, I fixed it. I thought view link for adult dragon was acceptable. >.<

Edited April 13, 2014 by Shelybear

[Orlageddon]

Iron is, first and foremost, a skilled blacksmith who takes his job very seriously. He has all but perfected the craft over many centuries, able to forge almost anything upon request, size and complexity notwithstanding. While he does have a sizeable crew of apprentices, including his siblings Cobalt and Nickel, he prides himself on the fact that most of the work is still done by himself. Iron's one major flaw is, however, that he gets distracted by Oxygen very easily, and so his helpers often wind up doing nothing but chasing the nosy White dragonness away.

Iron's volcanic home has become quite famous in the Periodic Clan and beyond; many a warrior dragon drops by regularly to have their armor repaired, including the Clan's royalty. Iron isn't as happy with this as one may expect, though. Throughout centuries of being treated as inferior by the "pretty and useless" dragons such as Gold and the Platinum Order, he's understandably become a bit bitter towards them.

 

Accept: Periodic Table, I see. Good thing Cobalt is Iron's friend and not Copper. In my mind, Copper is a jerk to Cobalt.

OMG GUYS someone's commenting on my references Tell me who you are, unsigned reviewer, so I can hug you haha

And the Copper thing killed me. Mostly because in my universe, the coinage and platinum metals are royalty and the iron triad (Iron, Cobalt, Nickel) are about as much filthy commoners as it gets... also Copper probably thinks her blue compounds are prettier than Cobalt's lol this is totally canon now

 

I'm going to try and write something more even though it's past midnight because this just made my day

[xeyla]

Who signed this review? I know who ~H and ~D are, but this one stumped me.

[Herk]

MS - Moonshark

 

She hangs out in descripdoom quite a lot.

[Melatte]

Floogle Horn is a dino that really enjoys music. From the humans who bang on pots and pans to the Sweetlings who produce the most beautiful sounds you've ever heard, Floogle loves them all. It is Floogle's dream to learn how to make music, sadly the noises that come out of it's mouth are less than desirable.

 

Reject:

Accept:

Accept:

 

I hate when people don't leave a reason. Now I have to figure out what's wrong with it.

 

 

Slugafa, better known as Slug, is a bit of a tom boy. She's rough and tough and wants nothing to do with the prissy female members of her group. Most of her time is spent with the males because she finds them easier to talk to. Unfortunately, this leads the other females to think she's just hungry for a mate. There's a lot of rumors spread about this dragon and her behaviors, but she's always too busy having fun with the males to really care.

 

Accept: "tomboy" is one word. Otherwise, nice job! First Glaucus I've seen the queue - you work fast. O.O -MS

Accept: "tomboy" Even her name isn't terribly "pretty" -DT

Accept: Interesting. ~D

Accept: Don't see an problems at all. Great description!-Solarflare

 

Oopsies on the tomboy thing, but yay for being fast.

 

 

Govern is an adventurous dragon. When he was a hatchling, the older dragons in his cave would tell him interesting stories of mystical fountains, treasures lost in sunken ships, and various other mysteries. The dragons did it to make him fall asleep at night, they couldn't have known it would lead to an almost unhealthy obsession with adventure.

He spends all of his time out searching for these treasures. He occasionally has to ask the older dragons in his cave for help with understanding a legend or directions, but they usually just tell him to stop wasting his time. Govern regards their unhappiness with his habits of adventure as "just another obstacle."

 

Accept: Nice -H

Accept: Excellent character. Has he ever found any sign the treasures were real? ~m

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Accept: Haha, nice job. ~D

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Just noticed the question today. Govern has never directly found a treasure, but he has seen signs that they are real. This, of course, only makes his unhealthy obsession worse. Finding one piece of a puzzle makes you want to solve the entire puzzle.

[Lagie]

I hate when people don't leave a reason. Now I have to figure out what's wrong with it.

The only thing I can see in the first one is that it should be its mouth (it's = it is, which isn't what you want here).

[Alegra]

Hey guys, I wrote this description

 

After being orphaned by an earthquake little Ayla was rescued from the brink of death by a clan of brimstone dragons, who normally avoid others but thanks to a persistent kind hearted female Ayla was accepted. She never really grew accustom to brimstone culture and after a catastrophe was banished. A few winters passed before she finally met Jondalar in her travels. He was as pretty and able as her, and rescued her from her sadness and loneliness, teaching her about life's pleasures and bringing her to his clan. There, she could finally live with her own kind and be happy.

 

(bascially a reference to Jean Auels mary-sue)

 

I got a reject with "this description has quite a few grammatical errors" but I can't figure out whats wrong with it,

[Dirtytabs]

After being orphaned by an earthquake, little Ayla was rescued from the brink of death by a clan of brimstone dragons, who normally avoid others, but thanks to a persistent, kind-hearted female, Ayla was accepted. She never really grew accustomed to brimstone culture and after a catastrophe was banished. A few winters passed before she finally met Jondalar in her travels. He was as pretty and able as her, and he rescued her from her sadness and loneliness, teaching her about life's pleasures and bringing her to his clan. There, she could finally live with her own kind and be happy.

 

It's mostly commas. Without them, the first half is a confusing read.

[Mondat]

My description for Beati Pacifici, an Undead Dragon:

 

Despite sounding like "one of the many horrible monsters of darkness which parents tell their children about at night", it does truly exist. There are just not many witnesses who survived an encounter to tell their tale.

No one knows where it stays during daytime, when it exactly appears or how to avoid getting attacked by it. A few villagers swear they can hear its strange noises outside their houses in foggy nights, when the moon is full and when the light of the dancing stars on the sky faints.

Some rumours say it is the fault of a local wizard that this poor creature ended up being like this and that it will not rest until it gets its revenge. Other rumours say it is a demon or even the Morning Star himself in disguise, punishing humans for their sins.

 

    Accept:

  Reject: Are you trying to put a memorial on a gravestone, or did you find it and kill it? Don't describe dead things.

    Accept: Interesting.

    Accept: I really like this. Can't see any glaringly obvious errors. Good job.

 

The bolded part though

[Dimar]

I think that they might not realize it's a zombie. If they reviewed it during the hours when it's not visible on a scroll then it shows up as a tombstone. So they may have thought it's actually just a dead dragon. (Which can't be described, of course, but seeing a tombstone may easily lead to that mistake.)

Edited April 19, 2014 by Dimar

[pinkgothic]

Round two on Godshatter (round one is here):

 

Godshatter considers herself to be a crippled oracle, the severed voice and avatar of a true deity. Even with no objectively discernible deficit of perception, she finds herself occasionally abruptly disoriented in the world around her - explaining her discomposure as a feeling of having been stunted, stripped of senses she cannot even begin to describe. Her skull is full of disconnected wisdom, cryptic even to her. Occasionally, she'll despair at her lack of understanding of her own actions and advice, deeply concerned that the recipe may be incomplete, like a building without foundation - but so far, her deeds and advice have always been valuable to others.

Godshatter herself is unconvinced she's more than a soulless, fragmental library of a transcendental being, an outlook that's rendered her pathologically introverted, fed only further by her certainty that some day, guided by all that she doesn't comprehend, she'll make a terrible and irreversible mistake.

• Accept: I do like reading your descriptions.
• Accept: I know it's like "god shatter" but I keep reading it as "gods hatter". ~D
• Reject:
• Accept: interesting -H
• Accept:
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• Reject: Too long, cant see whole thing

That last reject confuses me. I would think if it were cut off, I'd be able to see it in the submitted description, myself, right? (Not to mention herk and Dimar would have noticed...)

 

(Also, Dimar, I've been tempted to write a God's Hatter dragon description just for you <3 )

Edited April 20, 2014 by pinkgothic