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@AngesRadieux If I were you, I wouldn't do it. If she's been treating you like garbage for so long, don't bother wasting your time and money on her as I'm pretty sure nothing is going to change. Best of luck to you, though.

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16 hours ago, AngesRadieux said:

My sister asked me to be her maid of honor. I don't even want to go to the wedding, never mind invest my time, energy, and money actively supporting it.

<snipped for brevity>

I've thought about saying that I'll do it, but only if she promises me that she'll treat me differently in the future and make an effort to fix our relationship. But I know that promise wouldn't mean anything. Either she'd get defensive and yell at me for being horrible, or she'd say yes, but then continue to act exactly the same as she has since she met him. I just don't think there's any way this could possibly end without me spending the next year being absolutely sick and miserable over it.

 

If you do not want to be her maid of honor, then do not. But when telling her no, do not in any way blame her (or him) for the decision or she may hold it against you.

 

Perhaps explain that you do not feel you can support her in that role the way she would want or need for her big day. From your circumstances, you can cite lack of finances and too much anxiety in your life already to take on something more. If she sees your explanation as you feeling inadequate rather than a judgement about her life choices, she is more likely to accept your decision and/or work on your relationship with her.

 

Keep in mind the wedding (and preparations for it) are all about the married couple; as maid of honor (or bridesmaid), you would be serving their needs/wants for it. If you cannot keep it about them because you are in need yourself (a legitimate position), then it is a disservice to take on the role - both to them and to you.

 

You have been through a very lot in the past year. I wish you the best in sorting through things as you work forward.

Edited by Awdz Bodkins

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I'm feeling so depressed this week. I suffered a bad back injury in the spring, and so I filed a workman's comp claim through L&I. My employer responded by firing me. Also, L&I keeps denying the treatment my doctor recommends, so I'm just stuck in limbo. Fast forward to today, L&I denied a procedure literally four hours before it was scheduled to take place. I'm so frustrated.

 

Besides that, I am awfully tired of being so limited in mobility. I can sit and walk but I can't stand for long periods. I have tickets to a concert in October, and the venue's website says I can exchange my regular ticket for ADA seating, but I'm confused. It won't let me purchase an ADA ticket, and I'm unsure if I can just show up in a wheelchair to the venue or if they wouldn't let me in. The venue is not responding to my emails asking for clarification, and I'm terrified I'm just going to run into things like "well if you can't walk, you shouldn't come" which is crap. I'm not paralyzed or anything, just limited.

 

And I'm tired of being cooped inside all summer because this city is not set up for people with any kind of handicap. Not to mention being frustrated with my slow-healing body in general. I'm only mid-thirties but it feels like I'm sixty-something already because my body is healing at a snail's pace. I'm still unable to work, but when I do feel better L&I has told me they can get me a job as an office assistant. The problem is, that job position makes about $1200/month less than my old position as a project manager.

 

Sorry to interrupt everyone else, I just needed to vent a bit.

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@Twimm hey there. Your boss sounds like a massive arse - and I can't imagine doing what he did to be lawful, although I get that it might be too taxing on your finances and your energy to go against that. (although I did hear of pro Bono lawyers or those that take a percentage of the settlement - but then again, I'm neither a lawyer nor American, so what do I know. If you need pointers, I'd go to the subreddit r/legaladvice)

 

This sounds awful and I'm sorry people are throwing so many hindrances in your way. Hugs if you want them. 

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8 hours ago, Valura said:

@Twimm hey there. Your boss sounds like a massive arse - and I can't imagine doing what he did to be lawful, although I get that it might be too taxing on your finances and your energy to go against that. (although I did hear of pro Bono lawyers or those that take a percentage of the settlement - but then again, I'm neither a lawyer nor American, so what do I know. If you need pointers, I'd go to the subreddit r/legaladvice)

 

This sounds awful and I'm sorry people are throwing so many hindrances in your way. Hugs if you want them. 

 

Thanks, Valura.

 

Yeah, I don't think my employer acted lawfully, but since all of our energy has been focused on getting L&I to act appropriately, we just don't have the energy to consider legal action against my employer also. I don't want that job back, anyway. I feel that the HR department's response to me as well their communication with L&I since, even if legal has been retaliatory and I don't want to work in that kind of environment. I have a friend who still works for that company, and she's planning to quit soon, too, because she can't take the hostile environment which sadly is coming from the top down.

 

As for the other situations I posted about, things have improved somewhat. I've been trying to practice meditation and such to keep myself calm. If I can learn to manage how I approach this challenge and not be so angry about it all the time, hopefully I'll start feeling better! I have generalized anxiety disorder, and I was beginning to recover, but this injury and the firing caused a sort of relapse. *deep breathing* *stay calm* *think of kittens and delicious tea*

 

Anyway, I didn't mean to hijack the thread! Thanks for the support 😅

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Relapsing sucks. I struggle with depression and I had a hard crash due to stress - similar to you.

 

Meditation is great! 

 

You're very welcome. ❤️

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Can't find a job. Loneliness threatening to consume soul. No money. No friends. In love with someone very hard to read and who's acting distant. I'm still somewhat happy, but mostly... meh.

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