Emotional Support

[catstaff]

@Bloommist (((hugs))) First off, I am so sorry you lost your Josh.

 

I don't know if this is a thing where you live, but where I am, I've seen artisans, particularly glassblowers, advertise the making of custom pieces, such as paperweights or even jewelry, which incorporate the ashes of a departed loved one. Since your intent was to scatter Josh's ashes, but you currently feel as if doing so would be throwing him away, perhaps having him in a keepsake of that sort might make you feel better about going through with your original plans to scatter what isn't used? This assumes that a) such a service is available to you, and b) such a service is something you can budget for, of course.

 

I'm glad you got to say your goodbyes and all. He was definitely a lucky dog to have such a loving person as yourself.

 

Either way, you keep right on coming back here if you need to vent. Feelings are never logical. I spent half the day in tears a couple of days ago when a favorite musician of mine announced he's resigning from his band. Nuts, right? But I was supposed to have seen them this past fall and now when I get to see them later this year, he won't be there, and hearing the news at that particular moment in time was just the straw to break this camel's back as I've been coping with the stresses in my life by reminding myself how much I'm looking forward to the concert come fall. Oh, I'm still looking forward to the show and all, but he's been a part of the band for almost 20 years and it just won't be the same without him.

 

...and, apparently I still needed to rant a bit myself. Sorry about that. Didn't mean to get sidetracked there.

[Bloommist]

@catstaffthanks you it means a lot that you took the time to read and reply, what you said was loverly to read  but I can assure you I was the lucky owner to have him, I even miss the little things like finding his hair in my drink and thinking how did that get there, amazing what you miss after even the little daft things.

As far as im aware in the UK where im from they do the glass blowing and keep sake options with ashes and thats a really nice idea and to be honest I didn't think of it so i will look in to that thank you that way i could keep a pice of him with me, I really apreciate that advice I will give it some though and reserch.

 

Your right venting really helps and don't apologise yourself for getting that off your chest i can imagine how frustrating that must be to be looking forward to a concert and then to here one of the main people and a person you really like and admire is leaving the band you like and wont be there when you see them especially after missing the chance to see them previously, I've never been to a concert sadly the music I like is country music and sadly the UK disent get many of the US country music greats touring over here or not very often so sadly I've missed out in that area, so I get your feelings completely, I am glad your still looking forward to the next concert i know it won't be the same but it will still be amazing im shore and great just in a duffrent new way for you to exspeience

 

But your right feelings aren't logical at all, thank you for shearing that with me though, its nice to talk to others and vent haha 

 

[HeatherMarie]

So, I have a job interview tomorrow and I'm kinda freaking out. It's over the phone, so at least I don't have to worry about in-person yet, but arrrgh. I have *never* actually had a job interview before, at least not that I can remember. My last job was my first job, and I don't actually remember ever interviewing for it, it was more just a smooth transition from my work-training 'job' to that one thanks to a wonderful job coach. The whole idea of a job interview is just unnerving, stressful, and I have no clue what to say. I've been working with a job coach and, ironically enough, my *Tuesday* appt is supposed to be about job interviewing skills.... I applied for this job Thursday and definitely didn't expect to hear from them so soon! So I haven't really been able to practice or talk to my coach about it or anything. 

 

I'm super nervous, and I think a lot of it is just.... Feeling unsure how much to say? I want to be truthful of course, but I also want to be professional, I don't want to sound inexperienced or not mature but I also don't want to accidentally come across as more able than I am? I don't want to be presumptuous or talk too much or say stuff that isn't needed or relevant, but I also don't want to misrepresent myself. ...... This really sucks.

[Bloommist]

Hello @HeatherMarie, first of all congratulations on the interview I know its hard but try not to be nervous im shore you will do lots better than you think, its understandable to be nervous though when I comes to job interviews even people who have had many jobs, or people exstreamly qualified and experienced or done the process many times get nervous its natural and any interviewer will take that in to account because an interview dosent give acutrate representation of a individual or what they will be like in a work place or any given job they just see a snapshot . I my self have only had a couple of interviews and all i can say is its all experience honestly you can always learn from them so even if worst comes to worst which may not be the case (im shore you will do fine) it can be turned in to a positive i promice, i like you have only really had one mane job so i get the change and process can be scary if not slightly over whelming in this case it being over phone and not in person is slightly diffrent and it dose have its advantages as you carnt see them at least, just remember voice alone is hard to judge people without seeing there expressions its hard to tell their emotions as you don't get as may ques, so try not to over analyse how there voice is reading to much its kind of like reading a text its harder to judge context if that makes sence.

I'm shore you will do fine the fact you have an interview proves they like you enough to incialy consider you for the job, the important thing is to be yourself thats all that matters really, experience and qualifications count but its nothing without personality, because at the end if the day they dont want a show or want to see what you can pretend to be but instead who you are. Its always good to have some answers laid out like why you sort the position, what your interested in, as all these paint a picture of you its also in my optlion although I could be wrong with this so take it with a pinch of salt, that saying the opersite helps thats to say areas you may need help in as it shows your honest and let's them know you know your own limitations but it dosent stop you for example im highly dyslexic I always say that writing and spelling for me is weaker compared to my other skills and that if I get the job is there any practises or help I can acess, again just my opinion.

 

Its always hard knowing what to say or how much I always tend to babble to much but sometimes off topic conversations can be a good thing in an interview such as personal intrests and anicdotes as it helps show them who you are and helps them rember you, try to stay on topic when asked direct questions but allow the conversation to flow naturaly as well, a lot of people struggle with the balance if you think the conversations lagging or bering off in a unbenifishel way then try and steer it to a topic related to the job.

At the end of the day it is just one interview oversaly I carnt say how important it is to you or how needed it may be but I can promice you will get others and everyone good or bad is a chance to learn and builds your experience- just be yourself talk clear show personality and kindness and its hard to go wrong, best of look you have got this knock their socks off

 

Hope this helps a little 

Edited January 19, 2021 by Bloommist

[georgexu94]

 

On 18 January 2021 at 2:52 PM, HeatherMarie said:

So, I have a job interview tomorrow and I'm kinda freaking out. It's over the phone, so at least I don't have to worry about in-person yet, but arrrgh. I have *never* actually had a job interview before, at least not that I can remember. My last job was my first job, and I don't actually remember ever interviewing for it, it was more just a smooth transition from my work-training 'job' to that one thanks to a wonderful job coach. The whole idea of a job interview is just unnerving, stressful, and I have no clue what to say. I've been working with a job coach and, ironically enough, my *Tuesday* appt is supposed to be about job interviewing skills.... I applied for this job Thursday and definitely didn't expect to hear from them so soon! So I haven't really been able to practice or talk to my coach about it or anything. 

 

I'm super nervous, and I think a lot of it is just.... Feeling unsure how much to say? I want to be truthful of course, but I also want to be professional, I don't want to sound inexperienced or not mature but I also don't want to accidentally come across as more able than I am? I don't want to be presumptuous or talk too much or say stuff that isn't needed or relevant, but I also don't want to misrepresent myself. ...... This really sucks.

Hey, I hope you did well! As I learnt, it is best not to think these things and just wing it. Overthinking perfection makes things bad. There is no perfection. You are perfection.

[HeatherMarie]

Thank you @Bloommist and @georgexu94.   

 

The interview went.... okay-ish... Though it was agreed I wasn't right for the job. It's also been pointed out to me, by multiple people at this point (not interviewer), that I may not be ready for a new job at this time. It's one of my worst fears, but also somewhat of a relief to know that other people recognize it too: My mental illnesses are just acting up too much, and when simply filling out an application leads to an hour-long hysterical panic attack, well maybe I need to step back from the job stuff for awhile. *sigh*

[Montre]

I decided to make my own cake for my birthday yesterday. However, I became physically ill- vomited a lot. Missed what was supposed to be one of my favorite dinners.

 

At least everyone else said it was delicious.

 

I am not disappointed because I am not surprised- somehow it tends to be like that nearly every year.

 

This just seemed like the nearest thing to a complaint thread here. Not that I looked very hard.

Edited January 21, 2021 by Montre

[Bloommist]

@HeatherMarie I’m sorry that you didn’t get the job, and I’m also sorry that you have been struggling as well, we’re all here if you need us that’s the great thing about DC this community is great at coming together.

 I Carnot say weather your ready or not for a job change, that will mainly comes down to you and with your permission using feedback people close to you but you tried and that’s all that matters better to try than to never attempt, although the job may not of been right for you, I can say that this interview will make you more prepared for any future ones you decide to undertake and or when you choose to do so.

I can understand that fear, to have people confirm something we already worried about or already feared is scary, but try not worry about stepping back from job stuff for now, just because this didn’t pan out and just because at this moment in your life you might not be ready doesn’t mean in the future you won’t sometimes it takes something like this to realise that your happy we’re you are job wise and content for now life wise. Sometimes it’s life’s way of saying no more stress focus on you and that’s ok as well.

Panic attacks are horrid I’m sorry your going though that, I Carnot say weather or not it is but stepping back could be the right thing to do if your struggling to that extent, so maybe try to focus on yourself, your mental health   but never be afraid to put yourself and your mental health first you are important and your health matters, so focus on healing yourself and when your ready and you will know when the time has come you can try again and who knows we’re the future may lead you. Hope you feel better soon.

 

Hope this helps, even if just a little. 

Edited January 21, 2021 by Bloommist

[Aniia]

@HeatherMarie I hate the whole job interview process. It often feels like an exercise in cruelty, a chance to rub your nose in all the ways you don't measure up. I'm afraid I don't have much great advice to add, so I'll just let you know my philosophy: treat it like a public presentation. By which I mean, you want to be as knowledgeable and prepared as you can be about your own skills and the job's demands, but - you don't want to over-rehearse or be artificial. I actually don't do verbal rehearsals beforehand because I want to be myself as much as possible in an interview. After all, if they don't like something about me on a personal level, then I don't want to work for them anyway. This actually saved me from getting a terrible job. I was overqualified for the position offered, but the interviewer started the meeting by telling me I was not qualified for any other positions. Later on, I asked a question about what the client-side benefits were from a program the company had recently implemented, and the interviewer became offended, thinking I was challenging her or the company. It became clear that even though this was one of my dream jobs, I couldn't work at this location with this boss. As I was leaving, the person who was losing her position came to me super nervous, glancing over her shoulders, asking if it was her position they were hiring for. I felt so bad for her; she was so terrified and I had to tell her she was probably losing her job. I'm sad that I never got that dream job, but still so thankful that I avoided coming into such a toxic environment.

 

@Montre It really sucks when holiday plans don't go like we want them to. I hope you're feeling better. Maybe you can try again to do something nice for yourself, even though the Day Of has passed? After all, holidays are more about intention and feelings than the actual date, in my opinion. In my family, we celebrate birthdays and such on the nearest weekend day instead of the actual date, because work, etc.

[Jamari]

I'm sorry to have to say this. I haven't been here long, but I enjoy the various forums. However, some people here are clicky. If I participate in a forum, sometimes I make a funny comment, or ask a question, or say something silly. However, I think I'm ghosted in some forums. So, I just follow the forum and cave news. I don't participate in any games. Too bad, really. I try to live by "principles before personalities." It's too bad some people don't even know what that means. I'm terrified that if I say something offensive, I will be admonished. I hope this post doesn't offend anyone. 

Edited April 7, 2021 by Erebus

[trystan]

@Erebus, i totally get that.  there's some threads and forums where i do interact with others... but then there's always that one thread where i feel like i'm talking to myself.  on a completely different forum, there's one entire section that i don't even go near, because i know i'll just get ignored - even if i have something to offer. *sigh*

 

i'm also good at saying silly things - online and in real life, and that gets ignored too.  i guess i like some kind of feedback.  always have.  i never really liked putting things out there and hoping for some reply.  if i put something out there, i'd like some kind of acknowledgement....

 

[Jamari]

Thank you, Trystan. I'm glad you can relate. 🙂

[trystan]

@Erebus - yeah, it sometimes happens on some of the threads here too, actually 

[HeatherMarie]

My mom's knee replacement surgery is scheduled for this Friday. I'm really really really anxious. About her being gone so long, me being here alone, probably not being able to see her (not sure they'll allow visitors 'cause of covid), but most of all just really freaked out hoping that she makes it through okay and actually makes it home. There is just... Surgery is risky in the best circumstances, but she has sooo many medical conditions that make it even riskier. Like, you know how if you read information about a procedure and there is often a list of 'if you have any of these conditions this could be more dangerous for you, talk to your doctor' sort of thing? Yeah, she has many of the conditions often on those lists. And I know the surgery is necessary, it's just... Really scary. 

 

On top of that, I just found out I can't claim Unemployment benefits anymore. One of the normal conditions for benefits is you have to be actively looking for a job and report that process every week. For the past year that condition was suspended in my state (and I'm assuming in most states, due to covid). Welp, not anymore. I kind of hesitate to even type this because I never know if people might think I'm overreacting or exaggerating or whatever, but... I can't do that, I just can't. I'm just not mentally able to job-search right now, especially with mom's surgery, but even if that wasn't happening I'm just not in a place where that is possible right now. (And honestly, even if I thought maaaybe I could at least try, the specific requirements are way too much, like maaaaybe I could push myself to look into job listings and maybe contact someone every so often but the requirements are contacting *three separate employers* every single week, seriously?!)  

We are okay financially for now, I've saved the majority of the benefits I got the past year in anticipation of this very thing. But it still scares me to not have any income source at all. 

[Long_Before_Sunrise]

Yes, that is scary. Having no income sucks. You're very fortunate to have savings. And yeah, the job searching requirements have not kept up with the times and are pretty ridiculous. Your anxiety is justified.

Most of the complaints I've heard about knee surgery have been 'If I'd known then what I know now, I might not have had it done.' The paperwork is a legal precaution, not a prediction.

 

Does anyone know of any good realistic rain sound apps for Android? I've been needing soothing lately. I downloaded Relax Melodies, an app I used before, and was appalled at how many features now require purchase and it has pop-ups urging you to buy. I remember one turned your screen into a puddle - that is it had a simple background where you could watch the drops hit and send out out ripples while you listened to the rain sound, but I can't remember the name.

 

[HeatherMarie]

I am really really *really* frustrated and upset right now and kinda just need to get it out. I ordered some stuff from Amazon recently, and as always I've been checking the tracking information. We've had issues getting packages since the whole pandemic started because the apartment front office isn't accepting package delivery and *sometimes* the post office claims they aren't allowed to leave the package at the door (but then sometimes they do just that....). So I always keep an eye on the tracking info. 

 

Welp, tracking says delivered yesterday. To front office. Which isn't possible. I called the front office to double-check, and nope, not there. So I called the post office and they were able to track exactly where it was when it was marked as delivered... They delivered the package to a completely different apartment complex!! It's on a completely different street. I don't know how the heck they did that, but now I'm in the very very frustrating position of just waiting and *hoping* they can get the package and deliver it properly. They said they'd call me back when they figure things out, and the carrier will probably go to those apartments to get the package and then bring it here.... But I have no clue what happens on the apartment's side when they get a totally wrong package, what if they didn't keep it, what if it can't be tracked down?? It's not Super-Important stuff in the package, but it was relatively expensive. I have no clue what happens if the package just isn't recoverable, if it's possible to report it to Amazon as lost in the mail, or what.

 

*deep breath* Honestly I don't think this would be as big a deal to me if I wasn't already having a crappy day and super-anxious before any of this happened. Anxiety-triggering noises all morning (first gardeners and then upstairs vacuuming which I swear they do nearly ever single day), missing my mom, not sleeping well.... Mom is doing alright, her surgery went well and she was transferred to rehab Monday, she's doing lots of physical therapy to strengthen her knee, and she sounds more upbeat and 'with it' than last time she had knee surgery. But it's been a week now since the surgery so it's getting to that point where it's all just really starting to wear on me, living alone, not being able to just see and hug mom at any time, having to let go of the obsessive need to track everything she's doing when she's not with me (because I get really paranoid something might happen to her, like while she's out doing errands or whatever)... Living alone. Without someone here to help me if needed. We have wonderful church friends that have been constantly checking in on me by phone, but it's not the same as actually having someone here. 

 

( @Long_Before_Sunrise I've used online noise sites in the past, but I don't know of any good Android apps. ... I might have to look into that.)

[HeatherMarie]

(I hope this isn't considered double-posting since it's been nearly two weeks between the last post....)

 

Well, I spent almost a full week in an inpatient mental hospital. Went in Tuesday the 27th, left the evening of Monday the 3rd. That's not exactly what I'm in the 'emotional support' thread for though, it was actually *by far* the best inpatient experience I've ever had and I honestly can't say enough positive things about the place (although I was super scared when it first happened because the only inpatient here in town was full so they took me out of town, 3 1/2 hours away, to a city I've never been to hours away from anything familiar....). But yeah, it's the only inpatient I've ever been to that *actually* had structured groups, skill-learning, etc, the things most inpatient places *claim* to have.... Anyways.

 

The reason I'm posting here is more just.... It's difficult to adjust to 'real life' again, yunno? I mean I was gone for barely a week but it just feels like I have so much to catch up on... DC-related, I missed the adult-reveal of the newest release, missed the frenzy of unlocking the encyclopedia right when everyone's first adults start growing up (which is honestly one of my favorite parts of new releases), I haven't yet skimmed the rest of the News thread to see if either new breeds have special mechanics.... Mid-new-release is just the worst time to suddenly up and disappear for a week. Thankfully it looks like all the 'growing things' I had grew up alright, but yeah. 

 

Non-DC-related, missed a full week of the soap opera that my mom and I have been watching (on-and-off) since I was 6 years old, and of course the one week I miss stuff actually happened... My very favorite 'current' television show is Manifest, which (imo) is super-complicated and you have to follow the plotlines very closely and everything is all connected, and I missed last Thursday's airing which I believe was actually a double-episode airing so I *have* to catch up on that... Had roughly 20 non-spam emails to go through... I haven't dared to look at YouTube yet, I follow a good 20+ channels that put out content 2-3 times a week, that's overwhelming to even think about trying to catch up on. 

 

.... And then there is the house drama. Mom and some church friends decided it would be a 'wonderful surprise' if said church friends completely cleaned/organized our apartment while I was in the hospital and mom was still in rehab. ..... No. Just no. I've already ranted about this to other friends, so I'll just say NO. My poor anxiety-riddled brain is just NO. After a week in the mental hospital, getting to a place where I thought I was feeling pretty darn stable, I come home Monday night and am immediately launched into a full-blown panic attack when I see just how much my home has changed. Everything has been moved around, desks/shelves/etc, none of my stuff is where I left it, a good amount of my stuff I can't even *find* (including the special expensive soap and shampoo that I received just a week before going inpatient, I am *seriously* pissed about that and I *will* throw a freaking fit if they have been damaged or lost).... 

This, out of everything else that has happened in my life, this is what shows me just how much my mom *doesn't* understand my mental disorders even though she claims to and claims to listen and etc etc. I've told her so so so many times how unexpected changes, especially unexpected changes in my environment, can be very very upsetting for me. She even told me about this 'surprise' over the phone while I was in the hospital, and I very clearly told her I did *not* want any of my stuff moved around or messed with, no it was not a nice helpful thing and no it would not make me happy to come home to everything all different and out of place, I told her that repeatedly but it looks like she just didn't listen to anything I said at all. And now I'm 'home' in a home that feels very very unfamiliar and honestly a part of me wishes I hadn't come home. 

[Bloommist]

@HeatherMarieI'm so sorry you have had to go though all that it sounds like a harrowing week for you, and I hope things certainly tern around for the better. I'm glad the facility you were housed at has helped and had areas which can support and aid you in getting better that is fantastic It's a shame and not right that most you have experienced don't have what they advertised. I can imagine it's very scary going to a completely new area in a new city so far away (in the UK 3 hours is considered a long journey for us haha) I can apreciate this must of been difficult for you to ground your self and focus on recovering, it's amazing how just knowing a place brings comfort at difficult times.

 

I'm sorry you have missed so much in your absence I guess the good thing is the forum keeps all the threads so you can catch up on all that even if sadly you have missed your favourite part of the release, but have comfort in hopefully we will have an extra fun release (being a birthday release) this month that all bring well for you, you can participate in

in terms of TV and programs all I can say is thank goodness for streaming and catch up services I hope you manged to catch up and don't fall to far behind on anything and all though I don't envy your YouTube catch up at least you have an excuse to binge watch your favorite programs for a good wee while.

 

I'm glad your home now and I hope your mother is recovering well, and without being rude about your mother or her friends  I can imagine your frustration with them and get were your coming from, when returning home after the kind of absence you have just experienced for the kind of reason you have you exspect home to be well home the conceptand pictureyou have been imagining and thinking of whilst being away.  home is a person's safe place or should be, a place that's familure, grounding, calm and settling, a place were a person has developed a routine and a System so if needed things are found, ready to use and comforting were you can recover mentally and process everything. For that to be taken away especially when you needed it after returning from the unfamiliar must of been head spinning literally pulling the rug from under your feet, I'm sorry your stuff has been moved, lost and disturbed I hope you can restore order soon enough, as a person who loves routine, cleaning but in a specific order, way and schedule and has things "just so" I'd be very upsett as well. I know they may of meant well and there hearts were in the right place but it clearly wasent what you needed I hope your mum comes to understand that, and starts to listen more to you. Hopefully it will all come out in the wash and be sorted but I do see what you mean she should listen to you as most often you will know what's best for you especially when it comes yo your environment and how you need it to be, no one should have to panic when returning home, hopefully she will come to see that, but sadly sometimes if others themselves don't see things a certain way or need or experience something as others need it's hard for them to try and understand and harder for them to not "sort it out" or "help" in the way that would naturally help or make them feel better, it's human nature everyone sadly thinks they know best for others when most often they no best for them

 

I hope you feel more at home soon and I hope you have people who understand it more personally to talk to 

Edited May 5, 2021 by Bloommist

[trystan]

{{hugs}} @HeatherMarie. i'm sorry you had to go through all that with all your stuff getting rearranged. no thanks.

 

....as for Manifest - this week/tomorrow is another 2-episode night as well.  feel free to PM me if you want to chat about it, bounce theories, fangirl, or whatever about the show too!  

[missy_]

I may delete this post later (so please don’t quote it). My mother died this week after a sudden illness. They found ovarian cancer metastasized. She was such an overall healthy person and then within a short period of time, so many things started to go wrong. My first Mother’s Day without her. Happy Mother’s Day, mom.

[HangeZoe]

*hugs* I’m so sorry for your loss. I cried while I was reading this post... Is there any way we can support you or help you? 

[_Ro_]

Aw :( That sucks. How are you and the rest of your family doing?

[Moonlight_Eevee]

I'm doing horrible. My family is displaced because of Hurricane Ida, it's been a week and a half already without power at our house, I miss my cats, i want to go back to work. I just feel like crying because Demco is such a horrible company and isn't actually giving us reasons to why they keep shutting the power off sometimes. Its just the same old line- 'our linemen are hard at work.' We get it, we're grateful that they are, but they're so darn picky with who they respond to if they ever do. Stop repeating things. Please. I need to have a hug or something but for the love of God, give out details as to why you keep turning the power off. Sorry if this turned into a rant. I just can't take this anymore

[trystan]

{{hugs Dalek}}

[purplehaze]

2 hours ago, Dalek said:

I'm doing horrible. My family is displaced because of Hurricane Ida, it's been a week and a half already without power at our house, I miss my cats, i want to go back to work. I just feel like crying because Demco is such a horrible company and isn't actually giving us reasons to why they keep shutting the power off sometimes. Its just the same old line- 'our linemen are hard at work.' We get it, we're grateful that they are, but they're so darn picky with who they respond to if they ever do. Stop repeating things. Please. I need to have a hug or something but for the love of God, give out details as to why you keep turning the power off. Sorry if this turned into a rant. I just can't take this anymore

*HUGS*

I can't even imagine how hard all of that must be for you. Hang in there. Hope it gets resolved soon.