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@Bloommist (((hugs))) First off, I am so sorry you lost your Josh.

 

I don't know if this is a thing where you live, but where I am, I've seen artisans, particularly glassblowers, advertise the making of custom pieces, such as paperweights or even jewelry, which incorporate the ashes of a departed loved one. Since your intent was to scatter Josh's ashes, but you currently feel as if doing so would be throwing him away, perhaps having him in a keepsake of that sort might make you feel better about going through with your original plans to scatter what isn't used? This assumes that a) such a service is available to you, and b) such a service is something you can budget for, of course.

 

I'm glad you got to say your goodbyes and all. He was definitely a lucky dog to have such a loving person as yourself.

 

Either way, you keep right on coming back here if you need to vent. Feelings are never logical. I spent half the day in tears a couple of days ago when a favorite musician of mine announced he's resigning from his band. Nuts, right? But I was supposed to have seen them this past fall and now when I get to see them later this year, he won't be there, and hearing the news at that particular moment in time was just the straw to break this camel's back as I've been coping with the stresses in my life by reminding myself how much I'm looking forward to the concert come fall. Oh, I'm still looking forward to the show and all, but he's been a part of the band for almost 20 years and it just won't be the same without him.

 

...and, apparently I still needed to rant a bit myself. Sorry about that. Didn't mean to get sidetracked there.

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@catstaffthanks you it means a lot that you took the time to read and reply, what you said was loverly to read :) but I can assure you I was the lucky owner to have him, I even miss the little things like finding his hair in my drink and thinking how did that get there, amazing what you miss after even the little daft things.

As far as im aware in the UK where im from they do the glass blowing and keep sake options with ashes and thats a really nice idea and to be honest I didn't think of it so i will look in to that thank you that way i could keep a pice of him with me, I really apreciate that advice I will give it some though and reserch.

 

Your right venting really helps and don't apologise yourself for getting that off your chest i can imagine how frustrating that must be to be looking forward to a concert and then to here one of the main people and a person you really like and admire is leaving the band you like and wont be there when you see them especially after missing the chance to see them previously, I've never been to a concert sadly the music I like is country music and sadly the UK disent get many of the US country music greats touring over here or not very often so sadly I've missed out in that area, so I get your feelings completely, I am glad your still looking forward to the next concert i know it won't be the same but it will still be amazing im shore and great just in a duffrent new way for you to exspeience :)

 

But your right feelings aren't logical at all, thank you for shearing that with me though, its nice to talk to others and vent haha 

 

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So, I have a job interview tomorrow and I'm kinda freaking out. It's over the phone, so at least I don't have to worry about in-person yet, but arrrgh. I have *never* actually had a job interview before, at least not that I can remember. My last job was my first job, and I don't actually remember ever interviewing for it, it was more just a smooth transition from my work-training 'job' to that one thanks to a wonderful job coach. The whole idea of a job interview is just unnerving, stressful, and I have no clue what to say. I've been working with a job coach and, ironically enough, my *Tuesday* appt is supposed to be about job interviewing skills.... I applied for this job Thursday and definitely didn't expect to hear from them so soon! So I haven't really been able to practice or talk to my coach about it or anything. 

 

I'm super nervous, and I think a lot of it is just.... Feeling unsure how much to say? I want to be truthful of course, but I also want to be professional, I don't want to sound inexperienced or not mature but I also don't want to accidentally come across as more able than I am? I don't want to be presumptuous or talk too much or say stuff that isn't needed or relevant, but I also don't want to misrepresent myself. ...... This really sucks.

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Hello @HeatherMarie, first of all congratulations on the interview I know its hard but try not to be nervous im shore you will do lots better than you think, its understandable to be nervous though when I comes to job interviews even people who have had many jobs, or people exstreamly qualified and experienced or done the process many times get nervous its natural and any interviewer will take that in to account because an interview dosent give acutrate representation of a individual or what they will be like in a work place or any given job they just see a snapshot . I my self have only had a couple of interviews and all i can say is its all experience honestly you can always learn from them so even if worst comes to worst which may not be the case (im shore you will do fine) it can be turned in to a positive i promice, i like you have only really had one mane job so i get the change and process can be scary if not slightly over whelming in this case it being over phone and not in person is slightly diffrent and it dose have its advantages as you carnt see them at least, just remember voice alone is hard to judge people without seeing there expressions its hard to tell their emotions as you don't get as may ques, so try not to over analyse how there voice is reading to much its kind of like reading a text its harder to judge context if that makes sence.

I'm shore you will do fine the fact you have an interview proves they like you enough to incialy consider you for the job, the important thing is to be yourself thats all that matters really, experience and qualifications count but its nothing without personality, because at the end if the day they dont want a show or want to see what you can pretend to be but instead who you are. Its always good to have some answers laid out like why you sort the position, what your interested in, as all these paint a picture of you its also in my optlion although I could be wrong with this so take it with a pinch of salt, that saying the opersite helps thats to say areas you may need help in as it shows your honest and let's them know you know your own limitations but it dosent stop you for example im highly dyslexic I always say that writing and spelling for me is weaker compared to my other skills and that if I get the job is there any practises or help I can acess, again just my opinion.

 

Its always hard knowing what to say or how much I always tend to babble to much but sometimes off topic conversations can be a good thing in an interview such as personal intrests and anicdotes as it helps show them who you are and helps them rember you, try to stay on topic when asked direct questions but allow the conversation to flow naturaly as well, a lot of people struggle with the balance if you think the conversations lagging or bering off in a unbenifishel way then try and steer it to a topic related to the job.

At the end of the day it is just one interview oversaly I carnt say how important it is to you or how needed it may be but I can promice you will get others and everyone good or bad is a chance to learn and builds your experience- just be yourself talk clear show personality and kindness and its hard to go wrong, best of look you have got this knock their socks off :)

 

Hope this helps a little 

Edited by Bloommist

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On 18 January 2021 at 2:52 PM, HeatherMarie said:

So, I have a job interview tomorrow and I'm kinda freaking out. It's over the phone, so at least I don't have to worry about in-person yet, but arrrgh. I have *never* actually had a job interview before, at least not that I can remember. My last job was my first job, and I don't actually remember ever interviewing for it, it was more just a smooth transition from my work-training 'job' to that one thanks to a wonderful job coach. The whole idea of a job interview is just unnerving, stressful, and I have no clue what to say. I've been working with a job coach and, ironically enough, my *Tuesday* appt is supposed to be about job interviewing skills.... I applied for this job Thursday and definitely didn't expect to hear from them so soon! So I haven't really been able to practice or talk to my coach about it or anything. 

 

I'm super nervous, and I think a lot of it is just.... Feeling unsure how much to say? I want to be truthful of course, but I also want to be professional, I don't want to sound inexperienced or not mature but I also don't want to accidentally come across as more able than I am? I don't want to be presumptuous or talk too much or say stuff that isn't needed or relevant, but I also don't want to misrepresent myself. ...... This really sucks.

:DHey, I hope you did well! As I learnt, it is best not to think these things and just wing it. Overthinking perfection makes things bad. There is no perfection. You are perfection.

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Thank you @Bloommist and @georgexu94.   

 

The interview went.... okay-ish... Though it was agreed I wasn't right for the job. It's also been pointed out to me, by multiple people at this point (not interviewer), that I may not be ready for a new job at this time. It's one of my worst fears, but also somewhat of a relief to know that other people recognize it too: My mental illnesses are just acting up too much, and when simply filling out an application leads to an hour-long hysterical panic attack, well maybe I need to step back from the job stuff for awhile. *sigh*

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I decided to make my own cake for my birthday yesterday. However, I became physically ill- vomited a lot. Missed what was supposed to be one of my favorite dinners.

 

At least everyone else said it was delicious.

 

I am not disappointed because I am not surprised- somehow it tends to be like that nearly every year.

 

This just seemed like the nearest thing to a complaint thread here. Not that I looked very hard.

Edited by Montre

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@HeatherMarie I’m sorry that you didn’t get the job, and I’m also sorry that you have been struggling as well, we’re all here if you need us that’s the great thing about DC this community is great at coming together.

 I Carnot say weather your ready or not for a job change, that will mainly comes down to you and with your permission using feedback people close to you but you tried and that’s all that matters better to try than to never attempt, although the job may not of been right for you, I can say that this interview will make you more prepared for any future ones you decide to undertake and or when you choose to do so.

I can understand that fear, to have people confirm something we already worried about or already feared is scary, but try not worry about stepping back from job stuff for now, just because this didn’t pan out and just because at this moment in your life you might not be ready doesn’t mean in the future you won’t sometimes it takes something like this to realise that your happy we’re you are job wise and content for now life wise. Sometimes it’s life’s way of saying no more stress focus on you and that’s ok as well.

Panic attacks are horrid I’m sorry your going though that, I Carnot say weather or not it is but stepping back could be the right thing to do if your struggling to that extent, so maybe try to focus on yourself, your mental health   but never be afraid to put yourself and your mental health first you are important and your health matters, so focus on healing yourself and when your ready and you will know when the time has come you can try again and who knows we’re the future may lead you. Hope you feel better soon.

 

Hope this helps, even if just a little. 

Edited by Bloommist

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@HeatherMarie I hate the whole job interview process. It often feels like an exercise in cruelty, a chance to rub your nose in all the ways you don't measure up. I'm afraid I don't have much great advice to add, so I'll just let you know my philosophy: treat it like a public presentation. By which I mean, you want to be as knowledgeable and prepared as you can be about your own skills and the job's demands, but - you don't want to over-rehearse or be artificial. I actually don't do verbal rehearsals beforehand because I want to be myself as much as possible in an interview. After all, if they don't like something about me on a personal level, then I don't want to work for them anyway. This actually saved me from getting a terrible job. I was overqualified for the position offered, but the interviewer started the meeting by telling me I was not qualified for any other positions. Later on, I asked a question about what the client-side benefits were from a program the company had recently implemented, and the interviewer became offended, thinking I was challenging her or the company. It became clear that even though this was one of my dream jobs, I couldn't work at this location with this boss. As I was leaving, the person who was losing her position came to me super nervous, glancing over her shoulders, asking if it was her position they were hiring for. I felt so bad for her; she was so terrified and I had to tell her she was probably losing her job. I'm sad that I never got that dream job, but still so thankful that I avoided coming into such a toxic environment.

 

@Montre It really sucks when holiday plans don't go like we want them to. I hope you're feeling better. Maybe you can try again to do something nice for yourself, even though the Day Of has passed? After all, holidays are more about intention and feelings than the actual date, in my opinion. In my family, we celebrate birthdays and such on the nearest weekend day instead of the actual date, because work, etc.

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