Description Force!

[Naruhina_94]

8 hours ago, Lagie said:

This one:

every odd tree and root thet grew there: this 

 

... should be that, not thet.

Oh yep, didn't see

[Dirtytabs]

Quote

White Is the Winter Night, or "WItWN", studied potions and medicine as a youth and is now a purveyor of digestive aids and related novelty items. Her first cave is her home, while she runs her business from cave number 2. Around the late fall and early winter holidays, she gets more customers seeking laxatives, due to increased treat intake and feasting. Her shop is lit warmly, with friendly signs all around, and she and her helper speak gently and cheerfully. While the little kids are very honest about poop, the adults tend to be more uptight, with some even believing the slightest mention of poo is unforgivably inappropriate. WItWN doesn't want clients to feel bad about coming in and asking questions, and she continues to devise ways to make certain adults more comfortable discussing their bodily functions, because their health depends on it. Humor and honesty usually help. The first sign guests see when entering WitWN's cave has the optimistic message, "This two shall pass."

 

Reject (Grammar/Spelling Errors): Who let you have a comma sprinkler? Put it back. Multiple unnecessary commas and a run-on sentence near the end.

 

How very informative. I helped myself to it,,,,,,,, thanks.

[Lagie]

3 hours ago, Dirtytabs said:

 

How very informative. I helped myself to it,,,,,,,, thanks.

I disagree with them,,,,, on both counts!

[Feathers]

I have always felt like commas are like garlic, in that I always want more of them than the Rules call for. c;

 

AND: To the Commenter Who Wrote This Comment on This Description:

Spoiler

Fisherfast hasn't always lived in abundance just because her Weyr controls most of the continent's resources. Her Clan, the Aranoa, are often at the whims of disasters that make survival hard. In fact, Fisherfast herself is named for the season of disease and famine when she was laid; she's still scrawny for her size. Knowing hunger made her sharper, even as it thinned her happiness.

 

When she met her mate, he brought more joy to her shriveled, hungry heart than she knew was possible. He was a Sapo, of a Clan she didn't know, and she wasn't sure where he went when he wasn't with her. But when she laid an egg that seemed unlike any Aranoa she'd ever seen, she knew where her precious eggs would have to go to be safe. The Weyr of Flame is cruel to dragons perceived as strange, and being one of their own is no protection.

 

She yearns for her hatchlings, sent to live with her mate in secret, and though she misses them terribly, she must be content to know they are happy, and well-fed, there.

 

Accept: Poor Fisherfast... I hope she has a good day today!

Please know you have my sword in battle and I would die for u

[Caius]

Spoiler

This is a story
the neglected tale
where Eve was the star;
sit down now, let's hear
this story's fate!

When she hatched
she would always bite the other's tail
and later pretend
"Oh no, it wasn't Eve!"
and then she would bite 'em again.
Oh, how she loved their cry!

When she was two
she would trick
the vampire juveniles -
a game in the woods
yes, time for her fun!
They would be forever lost
quite a reasonable cost.
Oh, how she loved their fear!

When she was six
she made the most evil deed.
Her only friend, Sin, was quite dull,
the laughter in her skull
urged her to bury Sin alive,
her friend didin't survive.
Oh, she forgot, Sin is a zombie alright!

Eve's not a bad gal, even though she does bad things,
very bad things, such horrible things ...
But it's not quite what it seems!

Aw, hell, she's exactly what she seems ...

Ok I write odd descriptions, I find it more intriguing and inspiring. Especially being inspired by songs, as in this case. I sort of liked how this one turned out ... But is it too inappropriate?

[Lagie]

5 hours ago, Caius said:

  Hide contents

This is a story
the neglected tale
where Eve was the star;
sit down now, let's hear
this story's fate!

When she hatched
she would always bite the other's tail
and later pretend
"Oh no, it wasn't Eve!"
and then she would bite 'em again.
Oh, how she loved their cry!

When she was two
she would trick
the vampire juveniles -
a game in the woods
yes, time for her fun!
They would be forever lost
quite a reasonable cost.
Oh, how she loved their fear!

When she was six
she made the most evil deed.
Her only friend, Sin, was quite dull,
the laughter in her skull
urged her to bury Sin alive,
her friend didin't survive.
Oh, she forgot, Sin is a zombie alright!

Eve's not a bad gal, even though she does bad things,
very bad things, such horrible things ...
But it's not quite what it seems!

Aw, hell, she's exactly what she seems ...

Ok I write odd descriptions, I find it more intriguing and inspiring. Especially being inspired by songs, as in this case. I sort of liked how this one turned out ... But is it too inappropriate?

It's fine! But didn't is misspelled.

[Caius]

4 hours ago, Lagie said:

It's fine! But didn't is misspelled.

Wopsi, I'm too quick sometimes over the keyboard (and perhaps a tad too blind and not reading every letter when I'm reading things), lol.
But thanks a lot!

[missy_]

I need some help with a description. Do we use upper or lower case for a dragon breed? Example: Do we use "Olive Dragon"  "Olive dragon" or "olive dragon"? In this particular description that I am reviewing, the words Dragon and Dragons are capitalized multiple times when they occur as standalone words, not with a breed. I would think that would be lowercase, but I'm just checking.

 

ETA: my review of this particular dragon is going to indicate that the words Dragon and Dragons when used as standalone words should be lowercase. I am also going to suggest the use of "Olive dragon" (with Olive capitalized and dragon lowercase).

Edited April 13, 2023 by missy_

[Stormphoenix42]

When in doubt I try to make my descriptions consistent with the style used in the official breed descriptions - so in this example "Olive Dragon" would have both words capitalized, and "Olives" when used to refer to the breed would be capitalized, but "dragons" as a standalone word would be lowercase

[Kaini]

Cracking through some descriptions today... if anyone wants to help me by doing user descriptions. Also, for some reason on my end quotations end up looking like

 

Quote

"thrills in" and "mischeif"

 

in user comments, and makes it really hard for me to read the feedback you're giving, and I'm trying to be speedy here. Until I can get that fixed maybe avoid that lol.

[Lagie]

2 hours ago, Kaini said:

Until I can get that fixed maybe avoid that lol.

Good to know! Thanks.

[Kaini]

33 minutes ago, Lagie said:

Good to know! Thanks.

Teej rolled out a fix for me so I think we're good...

I've gone thru like over 1k today I think?? Downvoting any that are clearly spam would really help me rn 😆

[Lagie]

6 minutes ago, Kaini said:

Teej rolled out a fix for me so I think we're good...

I've gone thru like over 1k today I think?? Downvoting any that are clearly spam would really help me rn 😆

Well done!

Oddly, I haven't run into any spam today.

[Kaini]

23 minutes ago, Lagie said:

Well done!

Oddly, I haven't run into any spam today.

 

I yeeted most of it. I usually sort by lowest first then get rid of any spam right off the bat.

So now comments just really help! if something isn't quite right, explain what it is and I can just reject an say 'see user comments' and move on. if it looks good, say everything looks awesome! Then I can read quickly and trust ya'll and move on.

6k ish -> 4.2k in queue

[Lagie]

40 minutes ago, Kaini said:

if it looks good, say everything looks awesome! Then I can read quickly and trust ya'll and move on.

 I'm trying to!

 

40 minutes ago, Kaini said:

6k ish -> 4.2k in queue

Awesome! *leaves brownies as sustenance*

 

ETA: Good night! Will try to do more tomorrow.

Edited April 17, 2023 by Lagie
Updating

[purpledragonclaw]

I'll be picking up reviewing again as well. I need to just make it a habit, I tend to hit them hard when I do, then completely forget they exist until Kaini reminds me.  

[Kaini]

3 hours ago, purpledragonclaw said:

I'll be picking up reviewing again as well. I need to just make it a habit, I tend to hit them hard when I do, then completely forget they exist until Kaini reminds me.  

 

I'm determined to get it to 0... I did like 2k today. Come at me lol.

[Lagie]

9 hours ago, Kaini said:

 

I'm determined to get it to 0... I did like 2k today. Come at me lol.

Well done! Thanks for doing mine.

*sets out coffee, teas, juices, apples, brownies, and toast with jam*

 

Sustenance to keep you going. The xenos are driving me nuts with the numbers in the names.

[Mathcat]

Thanks for approving my descriptions!

[Dirtytabs]

Wow, 6k to like, 0? That's amazing!

 

A week late here

Quote

I need some help with a description. Do we use upper or lower case for a dragon breed? Example: Do we use "Olive Dragon"  "Olive dragon" or "olive dragon"? In this particular description that I am reviewing, the words Dragon and Dragons are capitalized multiple times when they occur as standalone words, not with a breed. I would think that would be lowercase, but I'm just checking.

 

ETA: my review of this particular dragon is going to indicate that the words Dragon and Dragons when used as standalone words should be lowercase. I am also going to suggest the use of "Olive dragon" (with Olive capitalized and dragon lowercase).

buuuut I would consider "Olive Dragon", "Olive dragon", and "olive dragon" all fine. I write them lowercase as a style choice 'cuz I got into that habit in DC's early days when many names were lowercased. Plus, Capital Letters look Special, and I write my critters as pretty ordinary beings.

IMO, "dragon/dragons", though are common nouns and I would say in the comments that they should be lowercase, unless the capital D appears to be deliberate somehow.

[Kaini]

2 hours ago, Dirtytabs said:

Wow, 6k to like, 0? That's amazing!

 

Nono to 4k sadly 😔

[Lagie]

6 hours ago, Kaini said:

 

Nono to 4k sadly 😔

Not sadly. That's a good chunk done. Thank you!

[Mathcat]

I've been reviewing descriptions for the first time in ages. So far, they're mostly accepts with some rejects for spelling/grammar and a couple of abstains (and one accidental abstain - oops). I've been pleasantly surprised by the absence of spammy descriptions. (I'm also glad that my fuzzy feline companion is sticking to his job as lap-warmer and isn't trying to attack the stylus or the phone, as he sometimes does.)

[Dirtytabs]

Description reviewing on a phone!?

 

Quote

In his home clan, Bushbuck was not the smartest, or the toughest, or the tallest, or the wiliest. He's been called the "slowest flier and lackluster in near everything else", almost always compared unfavorably with all other members of his family. He now lives in a lodge farther down the mountain with his better half, who owns a pool called the COLLEGIAL SWIMMING OOL that gets visited by many different kinds of dragons and even the occasional spirit and human. She really wasn't enamored with the "chasing in flight" tradition of Bushbuck's breed, namely because she's an aquatic dragon and hates being chased. She can lope and swim but cannot fly, and conversely, he can trot and fly but cannot swim. Bushbuck helps clean the area around her pool and paint and renew signage, and he stays a good distance from the pool itself when there are guests.

Figured this would get rejected- yes swimming ool. Here's his wife and the explanation for the swimming ool https://dragcave.net/view/8fmgc

 

Quote

Other dragons tease Cream Underside for being a disappointment as soon as she was born, though they don't genuinely think she's less worthy of an individual, since she's admirably fierce and adept at magic, and she's curiously heavyset and hard to hurt. An ash dragon has plowed into her, and she came out fine, so her colleagues imagine she'd be scarily relentless in battle. Her parents seemed to be interested in the color of her belly scutes and horns and had named her Yellow Belly when she was a newborn. Once she was old enough to know what those words meant, she didn't like the sound of that and complained until her parents, amused, renamed her Cream Underside.

Several comments saying the first sentence is a run-on sentence. FALSE! A run-on sentence does not mean "a long sentence" or even "a sentence with commas in it".

Edited April 23, 2023 by Dirtytabs

[Fishkeeper]

I'm not sure if that's a run-on sentence, but it definitely feels like one on reading. Might be best to chop it up a little.