Description Force!

[Fuzzbucket]

This should be in the help section really.... And I could swear there is an actual thread for help with descriptions, but I can't find it.

 

I'm guessing it's because the Teimarr is a coastal dragon, small and sociable and all the fighting and sparks don't sound very - coastal ?

 

Does your dragon fit the description of the breed ?

 

Black Capped Teimarr are a small and sociable breed of dragon with an appetite for seafood. They can commonly be seen flitting around sand dunes and tidal marshes, searching for crabs and other aquatic vertebrates, or cavorting in tidal pools in hopes of finding landlocked fish. Because of their large wing-to-body size, they are excellent long distance fliers and are known to migrate hundreds of miles along coastlines, or even across open sea to outlying islands in search of seasonal delicacies such as bird eggs, fledglings and schooling bait fish. The males are easily distinguished by their large jousting horns and their extendable neck frill, which they show off to the females through enthusiastic head bobbing.

[Hearth-fire]

Ah i see! Thank you, i’ll modify my description now to fit it, thanks!

[Feathers]

Hey, I have a judgement question for y'all! I got a rejection for lore/setting conflict for the below description of a Moonstone:

Spoiler

Moonprize hatched in a distant land, her mother a shimmering royal. She began traveling when she was young, and it wasn't long until she'd arrived upon this strange continent. Small, with limited resources, the lands host divided factions of dragons, each territorial, bound to strange laws. She managed to avoid capture by one Weyr and ended up stumbling into the captivity of another.

The Weyr of the Moon lies hidden in a deep valley below a towering peak, and the dragons of the Weyr are all Moonstones who worship the Golden Moon, Aurax. When Moonprize found their secret settlement, she was brought before the Weyr's leader, Smoothstone, who told her they would protect her, despite her 'dirty' blood. Apparently her non-Moonstone mother marks her as what they call half-moon, giving her limited rights within the Weyr.

She didn't want to stay when she found this place, but the Weyr of the Moon insists upon its secrecy and will not allow her to leave freely.

 

But they can't keep her forever.

 

I wanted to ask what y'all thought of this premise, and whether it conflicts with Dragon Cave/Moonstone lore. On the one hand, I see where Moonstones as a breed have gentle temperaments...but I also might argue that gentleness is not the same thing as kind or uncontrolling, or that gentleness precludes the ability to hurt others, especially other gentle beings who might not be inclined to begin conflict if they're manipulated and sheltered enough.

 

What do y'all think? Is this dragon's description (slash the idea of a gentle, very controlling cult of Moonstones) outside the lore/setting of Dragon Cave? Or is there another conflict here that I'm not seeing because I've gotten hung up on this "gentleness =/= kindness" tangent lol I appreciate your insight!

[guyman]

Welp my first serious dragon description, this is for a rift wyrm. I'm trying to give her a "mother of all monsters" vibe and letting her have many children.  Any thoughts? 

 

A particularly ill-tempered and nasty specimen of wyrm that seems to have only 3 activities in mind.
1. Most of her time is dedicated to killing other organisms, a hobby she seems to take great pleasure in. An opportunist, she is seen mainly targeting weakened or injured prey. For stronger organisms, she often uses her rift abilities to ambush them for a quick kill, but if this method fails, she is quick to flee.
2. She is a very gluttonous creature often seen eating in excess. Her favorite method of consumption seems to be swallowing her prey whole, much like a snake, which leads to her often bloated appearance. Evidently this excess in consumption is for pleasure, as she is seen purposely getting sick to consume more.
3. A rapid breeder, she has no standards for what dragon she mates with, though she has a preference for foul and aggressive dragons. She is a surprisingly caring mother, protecting her foul offspring until they are old enough to fend for themselves.

[Lagie]

@Feathers, I'm not seeing the setting/lore conflict. Was it a mod reject or a reviewer reject?

I find this non-sentence confusing, though: "Small, with limited resources, the lands host divided factions of dragons, each territorial, bound to strange laws. "

 

@guyman, your first line isn't a sentence, but otherwise it looks fine. Why are her offspring 'foul', though? (Ah, it's the father's breed?)

 

[guyman]

Its a trait all her children inherit from her, but the father's cruel and nasty traits also mix into it. 

 

[Feathers]

@Lagie It was just a reviewer reject with no commentary -- it more just got stuck in my craw for the ~lore~ of it all and I was curious what others would think! Good point on that one clumsy sentence, though; definitely tangling my words there, haha.

[Chaos Rider]

Quote

"When one is in a hurry things are never where they ought to be" thought Vyrmith's keeper as she frantically searched through drawers trying to find the Time and Ice mana necessary for a freezing spell. Having found the required ingredients she returned to the living room. Only, instead of a Black hatchling curled under the table, there was a Black adult with the table resting off the floor on its back. Its hindquarters and neck were squashed awkwardly against opposite walls and it wore a chair for a hat. After discussing with her friends on how to get a dragon that was too big to fit through the doorway out of the house, the keeper settled on letting Vyrmith make its own way out and finding a carpenter to turn the dragon-shaped hole in the wall into her new door.

• Reject (Does Not Describe Dragon)

Any second opinions? I wrote it for a dragon that was supposed to be frozen but I was a minute too late

Edited August 10, 2022 by Chaos Rider

[Lagie]

2 hours ago, Chaos Rider said:

Any second opinions? I wrote it for a dragon that was supposed to be

I see no problem with it. Love the chair for a hat bit! Maybe the other reviewer thinks we need to do literal descriptions.

[guyman]

Alright trying to make a new description for the scourgekeeper dragon https://dragcave.net/view/3hZw1. Any thoughts?

 

A formally villainous Scourgekeeper dragon who was once known as Relkor The Reviled who used to live in a massive cave system designed to torture dragons for their own amusement. This all changed one day when, once defeated by a group of heroic dragons, they decide to turn over a new leaf and join the heroes. While genuinely trying to be good, they lack comprehension of some qualities heroes should have, such as not solving all problems with violence, mercy, or empathy towards others. This often leads to them being held back by their other party members before they take things too far when adventuring. Alongside joining the heroic group of dragons, they have turned their formally massive cave system designed to torture dragons for their own amusement into a shelter for the weak and elderly. Though they do not seem to understand acid pit pranks as well as complex puzzles to get around are not appreciated by the cave's new inhabitants, leading to the population still being very low.

[Lagie]

It's good, @guyman , though you do have some long sentences in there!

 

This one:

such as not solving all problems with violence, mercy, or empathy towards others.

needs to have an extra verb in there to space mercy and empathy away from violence, e.g.

such as not solving all problems with violence, and showing mercy, or empathy towards others.

That first line isn't a sentence as it lacks a subject.

[Chaos Rider]

Just described a Quonebb dragon

Quote

With a sonorous clang, a large bronze dome dropped in front of Ballath who hadn't quite got the hang of teleporting things neatly yet. A bronze cylinder with a ring at one end and a knob at the other had broken off the dome when it hit the floor. When he picked up the dome to examine it he recalled seeing humans wearing bronze objects on their heads that they called helmets. So obviously that was what the dome was, thought Ballath as he placed it on his left head. As for the cylinder though, it looked a lot like the clubs he'd seen those helmet-wearing humans holding but alas, it was too small for a dragon. Meanwhile, in a village a hundred or so miles away, a priest is scratching his head at the mysterious disappearance of the church bell and would be most grateful if anyone had any information as to who stole it or where it went.

• Accept: This is hysterical -- very well done! ~Feathers

Thanks Feathers

I know I should change had to has in that last sentence but are there any other spelling/grammar errors before I resubmit it?

[Lagie]

2 hours ago, Chaos Rider said:

know I should change had to has in that last sentence but are there any other spelling/grammar errors before I resubmit it?

Actually, the had is fine; you need to change 'a priest is' to 'a priest was' to make it fit with the rest. Otherwise it's fine and yes, funny!

[Aniia]

just curious, how far are descriptions backed up right now? I had thought that once a user posts a description, it appears only on the user's own scroll and no one else can see it until approved, but that doesn't seem to be the case anymore... cause nothing's appearing for me lol.

[Lagie]

2 hours ago, Aniia said:

just curious, how far are descriptions backed up right now? I had thought that once a user posts a description, it appears only on the user's own scroll and no one else can see it until approved, but that doesn't seem to be the case anymore... cause nothing's appearing for me lol.

It only appears on your scroll as 'pending' once certain reviewers have approved it.  The backlog's over 4,000 so it might take a while for a mod to get to it.

[Aniia]

Oh ok, I can patient, just curious!

[Kaini]

On 9/9/2022 at 12:36 PM, Aniia said:

just curious, how far are descriptions backed up right now? I had thought that once a user posts a description, it appears only on the user's own scroll and no one else can see it until approved, but that doesn't seem to be the case anymore... cause nothing's appearing for me lol.

 

Around 4k currently! We'll take another crack at lowering that soon. 

[purpledragonclaw]

And by "soon", we're aiming for this weekend.  

[Lagie]

4 hours ago, purpledragonclaw said:

And by "soon", we're aiming for this weekend.  

Yay! Are we having a description party?

[purpledragonclaw]

10 hours ago, Lagie said:

Yay! Are we having a description party?

 

I hadn't thought about it, we were aiming for tomorrow. @Kaini wanna turn it into a party? I'm down!

[Lagie]

15 minutes ago, purpledragonclaw said:

 

I hadn't thought about it, we were aiming for tomorrow. @Kaini wanna turn it into a party? I'm down!

I can be online from work for a bit in the morning, not sure about the afternoon.

[Lagie]

For the record, here's the pending post count as it stands at 7:30 a.m. Cave Time today!

 

 

 

 

Remember - it's Sunday and the shards reset, so reviewing descriptions is a great way to earn shards!

 

*sets out coffee, teas, juices, apples, brownies, and Belgian waffles with strawberries and whipped cream*

Gotta stay well-fed for intense stuff like this!

 

@Mathcat @Chaos Rider @Kakaru_of_DOOM @Herk  @purplehaze @trystan @IzzyCat91 @Aniia @guyman @Feathers @Hearth-fire@Fuzzbucket@Dirtytabs

and anyone else that follows this thread or is new, if you'd like to join us, please do!

Edited September 18, 2022 by Lagie

[Chaos Rider]

I wish the abstain option had the option to specify spelling/grammar errors. Rejecting an otherwise fine description because of a tiny grammatical error doesn't sit right with me

[mishhelle]

I’m here for the party 🎉

[Lagie]

6 minutes ago, Chaos Rider said:

I wish the abstain option had the option to specify spelling/grammar errors. Rejecting an otherwise fine description because of a tiny grammatical error doesn't sit right with me

Agreed! 

 

6 minutes ago, mishhelle said:

I’m here for the party 🎉

Welcome!