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{OOC} Howl to Me III: Blood & Crystals

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Thanks for the critique~!

 

I kind of wanted to stay away from being able to levitate or throw rocks as I wanted Skitt to remain "grounded" (if that makes sense?) I didn't really want anything leaving the ground, so to speak, so an ability that had a similar effect was Golems. I'm not sure that it would be too weak, maybe the golems could have stones buried inside them to give some extra impact if they hit?

 

You do make a good point with chasms. I chose to not make him able to close them because I didn't want an insta-kill ability where I could open one, have someone fall in, then crush them (the wolves in the story just fell and couldn't get back out). That being said, it would also be overpowered if I used it to tear apart an encampment or strategic position. I really like the eruption alternative you suggested though - instead of ravines, he makes craters with magma, and maybe instead of small rocks being flung, it could be a little splash of lava? I also like it being unpredictable and dangerous to teammates and himself.

 

I also like the burrow ability too, but I don't want to add too many D:

Edited by earwig

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Well, think about it. ^^

Personally, I'd take Burrow, since no one else currently has such a unique means of locomotion. xd.png

Shiny should be along soon to give you a proper critique (I hope.)

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Sorry, I've been super busy lately, I'll post with Tobias sending out his patrols. sad.gif

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Okay, here goes:

 

Username: MrSpyro

Name: Verdant

Age: Almost one year, a little over 11 months

Gender: male

Power: Nature

Abilities:

Photosynthesis (Passive)- Verdant's fur contains chlorophyll, so when he's in a sunny area, he rarely has to eat.

Growth Seeds- Verdant has several seeds embedded in his fur, and he can use his powers to make them grow, and use them as weapons. There are several different ways he can use them, such as creating bark-like armor or stinging thorns. He can only use one form at a time, so he can't have vine whips and barkskin at the same time. He's also capable of shooting out the seeds, but has to shoot all of them at once. Growing plants takes about 5 minutes, so he can't switch in the middle of a battle, and growing seeds back takes relatively an hour. Growing plants or seeds makes him hungry, even when he's using photosynthesis, so he often has to eat after.

Appearance: Verdant is rather large for his age, and he often has to remind other wolves that he's still a pup. His coat is brown, but due to his chlorophyll, it has a green tinge, looking similar to mossy wood, and is rather sleek. If one looks closely, they could see little black spots on him.

Personality: Verdant is a very calm and collected wolf. He's quiet and observant, and in his free time, can often be seen watching the other wolves work. He tries to be helpful when possible, and if a problem shows up, will offer a suggestion or two. He's rather smart, and can think his way out of several situations, but this talent isn't put to use because he's a bit of a slow thinker.

History: Verdant was found very young by a warrior after a fight with the Cursed, and nobody really knows how he got there. Most of them suspect that he was born to the Cursed, but for some reason was abandoned by his mother. The warrior, whose mate had recently given birth, took him back to the Hallowed's camp and adopted him, as the pups in their litter were around the same age. He never really cared about his biological mother, because she probably didn't want him for whatever reason, so he was completely loyal to the Hallowed. Unlike most pups born outside the pack, he went straight to Gamma, because he was too young when he was found to have any loyalty to the Cursed, and it was clear just how devoted he was to protecting the Crystal.

Mate Preference: N/A too young

Alliance: Hallowed

Position: Gamma, warrior

 

I tried my best.

Edited by MrSpyro

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This is my own personal opinion, but I do think there are tidbits of powerplaying in this sheet.

 

The other wolves think he's destined to ascend to Alpha, as he's responsible, a good leader, clever, calm, the list goes on and on to the point where some think he's destined to take the role.

 

I'm a bit conflicted on this, but it sounds like your powerplaying to some extent. You're making other characters have an opinion on yours. Now, you're not saying everyone thinks your character is a good leader but it feels a bit odd to say that. You did mention your character is practically still a pup. Why would he make a good leader? One of the things a leader needs is experience and he surely doesn't have it. In addition to that, you give him a few traits to make him seem like a good leader but don't explain how he expresses these traits. I also have no idea why you want to set him in the position to be Alpha, which to me you are clearly doing, when there are already Alphas. I don't feel like you developed this character beyond "He could be an Alpha one day!"

 

There is this other problem I found as well.

 

The only problem is, he's more loyal to the pack than the cause. If he became alpha, all the Cursed would have to do is take a wolf hostage and he'd turn over the Crystal.

 

Unlike most pups born outside the pack, he went straight to Gamma, because he was too young when he was found to have any loyalty to the Cursed, and it was clear just how devoted he was to protecting the Crystal.

 

How devoted could he be to the Crystal if he would give it up if a single wolf was kidnapped? This not only conflicts with the idea of him being a good leader, as a good leader wouldn't give up the cause for one wolf, and it goes against what you stated in the history.

 

 

My apologizes if I'm overstepping my boundaries by pointing these out, but these contradictions are bugging me. I think you're spending too much time trying to prepare Verdant to be Alpha when we don't know if there will ever be the chance for him to claim the role, especially with him being so young.

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I'll fix that. I tend to sort of "trip over myself" when I make characters, but is there anything else I should fix?

 

edit: fixed personality to the best of my ability, but it's still pretty bad.

Edited by MrSpyro

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What?

I need that boy to do a post so I can respooooond

 

And I can't think of anything for Gale or Umbria other than Umbria getting caught by Hallowed patrols, but I want that to be much later

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I need that boy to do a post so I can respooooond

 

And I can't think of anything for Gale or Umbria other than Umbria getting caught by Hallowed patrols, but I want that to be much later

My name is Alex...

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My name is Alex...

*hits head on wall*

Alexander Drake

 

Edit: Wait, you're name is really Alex?

Oh dear

Edited by MyaMouse

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MyaMouse, move on then. It's been a handful of days and obviously, Alexander_Drake hasn't posted yet. In fact, he told you he didn't have the inspiration/motivation to post for HtM. So, move on to a different interaction. Stop harassing him to post. It's very inconsiderate and, honestly, annoying for me to see. Especially when I know people get busy or don't know what to write or just don't have the energy to do it at the moment yet there's someone pestering those people. No one's pushing you to post so don't push someone else.

 

It's basic respect.

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Username: TotallyDrow

Name: Pluto

Age: 4 years 1 month

Gender: Male

Power: Water Manipulation

Abilities and Drawbacks:

1. Mist Generation - The ability to exhale a thick greyish mist from his mouth and cover a 15 meter radius. The thick fog reduces visibility and also has a nullyfing effect on the sense of smell. The drawbacks of this ability are that the mist can be blown away by a strong enough gust. Everyone caught in the mist is affected, including the user and his allies. The mist will last anywhere between 30 minutes to an hour before gradually disipitating on its own accord. The user is also unable to 'spam' this ability as repetitive use will cause dehydration.

2.Sensory Rain A perception type ability that requires the user to summon a rain storm into the vicinity. During this time, the droplets are linked with the users senses and as they make contact with surfaces on the ground, it paints a constantly changing image in the users mind. The image that the user see's is only black with white outlines that distinguish the various objects (i.e. Tree's/rocks etc) as well as any living creature in the vicinity. The area of effect is restricted to a 7 meter radius around his body. The drawback is that the user can only distinguish the shapes of the objects or creatures and is unable to tell two similar objects/creatures apart. (i.e. without knowing where someone is, he wouldn't be able to tell friend or foe; only knowing that there are X number of wolves within a 7 meter radius around him). The less moisture in the air, the more limited this ability becomes and any ability capable of vaporizing the droplets will relay a hazy image back to the user.

2.Bubble Bombs - The ability to conjure up to a dozen (car tyre sized) bubbles with the ability to explode and release a wave of hot air (capable of scalding skin) upon contact. The drawbacks to this ability are that the user cannot effectively direct the bubbles at the opponent nor can he prevent them from popping on their own accord if they come into contact with a sharp point. Like his other abilities this is also dependent upon the moisture present in the air.

Appearance: Pluto's Appearance A wolf with dark greyish fur and a streak of white along his underbelly. Pluto is a wolf of average height and build posessing a balance level of speed and power. He has Grey eyes and the tip of his tail is dark black.

Personality: A fairly level headed and reasonable character, Pluto keeps all four feet on the ground and only concerns himself with the here and now. He rarely speaks about future aspirations or show desire for self progress within the pack. He is driven by his desire to remove the shame of his bloodline but will not result to drastic measures to do so. He understands that the Pack's need outweighs his own and has no qualms about it.

History: Born and raised within the hallowed pack, he enjoyed a fairly stable upbringing among the other wolves. His parents were by no means special, just your typical hard working wolves that helped to establish and contribute to the Pack's growth. The only pup from his parents, he proved himself to be more then a handful for them causing them several headaches and sleepless nights. To the common outsider they were just your normal everyday family however hidden behind this was a dark past that haunted their family line.

During the great war, many of his relatives had shared the rebellers desire and sought godlike power siding with what is today known as the Cursed clan. Family turned on family and blood was spilled forever leaving a bloth of shame on their bloodline.

His parents have now passed away, dieing one year apart from one another from natural causes and Pluto has taken it upon himself to rid his bloodline of their shame. With his abilities, Pluto steadily rose through the ranks and has now found himself an established warrior of the proud Hallowed Wolves.

Mate Preference: Female.

Alliance: Hallowed

Position: Gamma Warrior.

Edited by TotallyDrow

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MyaMouse, move on then. It's been a handful of days and obviously, Alexander_Drake hasn't posted yet. In fact, he told you he didn't have the inspiration/motivation to post for HtM. So, move on to a different interaction. Stop harassing him to post. It's very inconsiderate and, honestly, annoying for me to see. Especially when I know people get busy or don't know what to write or just don't have the energy to do it at the moment yet there's someone pestering those people. No one's pushing you to post so don't push someone else.

 

It's basic respect.

But I don't know WHAT else to do with her. I know Alexander doesn't have much commitment to things outside of YAAD and Forgotten Destiny, and besides, unless someone finds them and scares away whatever he's hunting, nothing's gonna happen. And Tene isn't going to disturb him because she has respect for him.

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That still doesn't give you the right to be inconsiderate and disrespectful. Figure out what to do with your other characters. It's morning. The sun is up. Both packs are growing more active and going about getting basic duties done. There's always someone to interact with. If you read everyone's posts, you'll be able to find someone to interact with and figure out what to do. It's really not that difficult.

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Okay, that's enough.

 

Mouse, if you are stuck waiting to respond to someone, you can easily PM them politely to see what's happening, or move on with your character. I'm not sure what's going on with Alexander but he did post that he didn't have inspiration for the RP, so that seems like good enough cause to figure out something else to do with your characters. Neither you nor I can force someone to post, regardless of how much you want them to.

 

As for everyone else, although I may be gone for some hours, please just leave governing the threads to me. If you have issues you can bring those up to me privately. Thank you.

 

 

Alrighty, back on track~

 

Earwig, nice to see you again! I like your character a lot. Like Brotato, I do have some reservations about that Chasm ability, but I won't reject the character if you decide to keep that ability. I might just have to regulate him a little more than others, if you're okay with that. Otherwise the alternatives that Brotato suggested are okay with me. The only other thing I have to say is be careful about saying "natural" materials such as wood etc, because the power is ground manipulation-- and wood and other organic material are not part of that. I don't mind if bits of wood gets caught up in using earth, but directly controlling organics such as that doesn't quite fit. Let me know what you decide about his third ability (as there can only be up to three at this point) and I'll let you know if he's accepted.

 

 

MrSpyro, I think you did a fine job. I also don't mind if you mentioned that some wolves would think of him as a natural born leader, since NPCs do exist and that does not necessarily mean all wolves think of him that way, if you wanted that to be a part of his character. Consider him accepted as-is, though.

 

TotallyDrow, Pluto looks great. Just a reminder that it's spelled "Hallowed" not "hollowed," as the latter means something else entirely. He's accepted.

Edited by Shiny Hazard Sign

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Just to clarify, Shiny, do you have objections if we other users voice our opinions on others' sheets and characters? Or is that considered 'governing' as well?

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No, that is fine. I gave explicit permission for that in the rules, since I am not on all the time to critique or approve of applications. Just as long as the critiques are fair and friendly c:

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Edited my application - I changed the Chasm ability to the Eruption ability, and tweaked the history to match. I may also create a second character soon~

 

editL I also took out the use of wood in the armour ability

Edited by earwig

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I'm a bit lost as to how to proceed with Symaro and Torque.

Anyone wanna start a subplot?

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Oohh, I'd like to. I plan on creating a female character soon, but where she resides is still unknown. Tobias could get involved.

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Just because I can't resist, I'm going to make another. I went for a very strange route this time.

 

Username: earwig

Name: Detras

Age: 4

Gender: Female

Power: Passive bonuses

Abilities:

Warcry -- Detras lets out a loud howl and radiates energy from her body, revitalising herself and nearby allies (with a range of ~10m). Stamina is restored for a couple minutes, but wears off as quickly as it is granted. The ability can only be used sparingly, as it provides diminishing returns. Think of it like a painkiller, but for exhaustion.

Twitch fibres -- Detras can concentrate energy to specific areas of her body to become faster or more powerful. For example, she could concentrate on her jaw to create stronger bites, or her legs to run faster. This comes at the cost of tiring faster, and if used too long it can cause cramps and muscle damage.

Transference -- Concentrating her energy on another, Detras can "absorb" the damage inflicted on another wolf into her own body. The wound appears in the same place and causes the same amount of damage, but heals faster. For this to work, Detras must be touching the other, and it can take anywhere from one to ten minutes to completely transfer. This ability seems to have worked for different types and severities of injuries, though it is unknown if she can sacrifice her life to raise a recently deceased wolf.

Appearance: Slightly shorter and longer than the average wolf, Detras has a slim build, with the muscles around her neck and back more developed than her legs. Detras' coat is a mix of white, brown and black, all layered upon themselves and spread out over her body. Her eyes are a dark orange and burn like the sun. [X]

Personality: As she was born with abilities that work well in a team, Detras believes that maintaining relationships with others is most important to her. She is fearful that she is not as strong as the others when it comes to one-on-one combat, so she will use any tactic necessary to ally herself with others, often through the use of favours. Despite this, she can still become hostile and bitter if wronged, and just as she will go to great lengths to make allies, she will also go to great lengths to get even, and to avoid becoming a pushover.

History: Detras is one of two children of a loner pack, which had settled along a riverbank near where the Hallowed and Cursed grounds meet. She often relied on her sister, Nica, to protect her whilst growing up, and it return she provided her abilities as gratitude. She recharged Nica's energy when she got tired, and healed her wounds when she was injured. The two made a great team together, and they were forced to become closer as both parents aged and eventually died. They attempted to survive together, but quickly wound up starving and unable to provide for themselves. Fortunately, they encountered the Cursed pack and whilst initially being Omegas, they have since risen in status.

Mate Preference: Any/All

Alliance: Cursed

Position: Delta

 

Her sister, Nica, may also be open for another person to play as if they want~

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Do you have anything particular in mind?

Because right now I'm open to suggestions. xd.png

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