Online Dating

[Dragon Tamer Akira]

I met someone online, and we have been on and off a few times. As long as you know you can trust that person, and you know he/she isn't a creep, then there should be no problem.

[Lila]

I almost got a boyfriend that I met online, but then he got a girlfriend who lived closer to him. I don't see how that would have worked out anyway, but, yea.

[little lost dragon]

I'm online dating and me and my GF are closer then anyone I'v met face to face over here my age. We both know who and what we look like (yay for skyp) so we both know we arn't fakes. We'v been together now for around..... 5+months now. Granted thats not a year but still. We both promised each other we'd wait for each other. and would not dump each other. Even got plans to meet up and if things go well then lets just say me and her will be married.

[PacketMonkey]

Online relationships are low quality in contrast to actually meeting someone in real life.

Plus who would pay money to meet people? LOL.

[TPishek]

Online relationships are low quality in contrast to actually meeting someone in real life.

Plus who would pay money to meet people? LOL.

Online dating isn't always something you pay for. LOL

My boyfriend of 2 1/2 years met me on a forum like this. As he lived in Minnesota and I lived in PA (1700 miles apart), there's little to no chance we would have met each other otherwise.

And I wouldn't say that online relationships specifically are lower quality, just that they are generally a subset of long-distance relationships, which suck royally. But if Mr. Right lives thousands of miles away, what else are you going to do?

[Avanish]

I think online dating is risky, a lot of my friends do it but it's scary. People can lie so easily over the internet, I tried online dating once. She lived 4 hours away so I visited her once, during the visit I met her brother who was nice enough to tell me that she was dating like 10 other guys online as well.

I didn't like it anyways, it sucks to be with someone and not be able to wrap your arms around them.

[Walker]

I don't know. Some of us don't have much of a choice. I'd rather have someone close to me, but the internet is really my only resource for finding what I need (which is very specific, mind you). I haven't really tried it yet, but when I am actively seeking a partner, I probably will have to, or be really lucky. I think it mainly is whether you have an overwhelming need to or not to get the right person that really determines it. If you don't have to, I wouldn't.

[dragon_mando]

Online relationships are low quality in contrast to actually meeting someone in real life.

Plus who would pay money to meet people? LOL.

 

Not really. I've never paid a penny to date online and when you look at my in-person versus online relationships, the online ones are hardly lower quality. In person, I can never talk about the important things, plus I'm too shy to say how I feel about things, so I just play the doormat for my in-person significant. Online I can truly be myself so they actually get to know me, not the whipped people pleaser I despise acting like.

 

Even time-wise, my online relationships appear more successful. Face to face record: one month. Online: nine.

 

People can lie so easily over the internet

They can lie just as easily to your face. One of the few people I've bothered dating face to face (because I can rarely find someone nearby that's even similar enough to me to try being friends with, let alone date), and he was dating three other girls I didn't know about as well as other things still worse. At least online you know to be cautious, in person, it's far too easy to assume the other person is legitimate.

[ImNemo598]

I'd personally try to avoid having this. I don't think it'd be good for me. I'm not against it; if it works for people and makes them happy, yay.

Edited August 15, 2011 by EmoDuck598

[Mustangs44]

Ohhh I've had some online girlfriends before. It's not appealing to me at all. I need hugs and physical contact and hearing her voice and just her presence around me. It's not the same if I can't actually do little romantic things and hang out all day.

If it works for you, then go for it. As long as you make sure that they're real. My math teacher online dated a lady from Russia, and they did this hand signal thing every time they videochatted to be safe. I think they're married now. <3

[Kestra15]

They can lie just as easily to your face. One of the few people I've bothered dating face to face (because I can rarely find someone nearby that's even similar enough to me to try being friends with, let alone date), and he was dating three other girls I didn't know about as well as other things still worse. At least online you know to be cautious, in person, it's far too easy to assume the other person is legitimate.

This. Lying is easy in either format. I actually found out more of my ex's infidelities through her letters than in our face-to-face meetings, because letters gives you the chance to revisit conversation and compare them with previous missives.

[hoppy9046]

My friend who dates online set me up with one of her friends... Anyways, he didn't show any affection, so I knew something was up... Turns out, he was dating a bunch of other girls. After a while, he sent me a picture, and he was like a bajillion years older than me. Too bad my friend told him which city we lived in... I said I lived in Buttzville.

Edited August 15, 2011 by hoppy9046

[Kaoto_Susanao235]

I don't know if you can consider how it worked out for me as 'online dating' but here is my story:

 

I was messing around on MySpace and this guy contacts me and says, 'Hey?'

So I said, 'I don't know you. Leave me alone.'

4 months later he contacted me again and said he had a GF who lived in my town and wanted to set me up with a friend of his.

Something inside my head said, 'It couldn't hurt?'

So I gave him my phone number and 5 years later I'm married! Lol.

Well 2 years later. We've been married for 3 years!

 

Bottom line.

Be Careful! It technically worked for me, but it was really luck and judgment based.

[wonton55912]

It would never work out for me. Nobody really understands me, not even in RL. I do have friends online, but I could never think of dating anyone. I'd also think it would end up just the way it always does IRL. Nobody listens, they move on.

[spyro76]

This. Lying is easy in either format. I actually found out more of my ex's infidelities through her letters than in our face-to-face meetings, because letters gives you the chance to revisit conversation and compare them with previous missives.

That's one of the things I can't EVER stand. Not even "infidelity," rather disloyalty in any form. Loyalty is definitely one of the biggest things that matter to me about anyone at all. I've been compared to a puppy dog several times IRL by my ex girlfriends friends. In context it seems like it was intended kindly, but it also made her "realize" that I was too "clingy." Personally I think it was more a situation that she didn't want to be in a relationship at all, or to be in an open one. It also didn't help that she's a bit self conscious and I dropped 15 lbs over a couple months when I was with her. It took the spotlight off of her because her friends commented about it and she got jealous, even though she was completely drop dead gorgeous and thin already.

 

The premise of online dating is an interesting one however. I've met more people online that I'm similar to and get along with well than anywhere offline. I suppose it has to do with self esteem in a lot of cases, because I interact with teenagers who have to be mean to be cool. There are some kids, about 4 years younger than me, who I get along perfectly with, but other than that it's online for me. They look up to me or at the very least respect me, especially since I've proven myself as a leader to them through the Boy Scouts.

 

I have a bit of a question to get another conversation started. If you've been in both types of relationships, online and off, how does interaction differ? Are you more likely to be completely honest, because it's less likely they'll judge you for it? Are you more likely to lie, because you can likely get away with it and impress them at the same time? I suppose this applies to everyone and every type of relationship too, like even your representation of yourself on DC?

 

As for me I'll tell general truths to those I don't know online. Like age, education, etc is no big deal, but if someone asks me where in New York I live (since I don't live in the city) I'll give the next county over or something. There are a few people I've told the total truth to, but not many. I keep my hometown to myself, just out of caution. If someone online ever wanted to meet me offline I would consider it. I'm almost a full grown adult and I wouldn't go alone. We'd have to meet in a crowded place. I wouldn't accept a drink, etc in case of tampering. I'm extremely trusting, but only if I know who you are, or I know enough about you to make a good judgment. I've never met anyone from DC or otherwise offline, but there are some people I wouldn't mind meeting. For all I know there could be close friends of mine on these forums and I'd never know it, because I don't mix online and offline.

 

Cookies for whoever even attempts to read all that. I rambled a lot... Sorry.

[Lila]

It would never work out for me. Nobody really understands me, not even in RL. I do have friends online, but I could never think of dating anyone. I'd also think it would end up just the way it always does IRL. Nobody listens, they move on.

This.

 

I try too hard in any relationship, just because people always leave me and don't even listen to what I have to say o.e I'm no good at the dating thing in general.

[Lore_Master]

For me, online dating is something of a plus for me. Because of my PDD-NOS, I can't understand subtle body language, so the only way I can understand people (Currently) is by voice alone.

 

Right now I'm currently seeing something via online relationship. I'm planning to make a trip to her place for next year to see if we connect IRL as well as we do online.

 

But I also agree with you guys, its a risky choice, and they can easily lie, but I give everyone a chance.

[digipup]

I don't think it's impossible. However... The internet can be dangerous, and really, I'd rather just have to spend a little money and do a little traveling than end up in some scrap with a fake-boyfriend. Those things do happen. It's rare, but they happen.

 

Hrmph. Never had a boyfriend in my life anyway. No one around here is worth dating.

Edited August 17, 2011 by digipup

[EgyptianFeline]

I thought online dating might be something that would work for me, but although I had several men interested enough in me to meet face to face, I always declined. I've never been in a relationship and guess I'm just kind of nervous. Every time it gets serious, I find horrendous flaws in the person and I end up breaking it off. Must be something wrong with me, lol.

 

I have since left the online dating scene and am pursuing real life friendships. Relationships, however, still elude me and will doubtless continue to do so.

[Kestra15]

I have a bit of a question to get another conversation started.  If you've been in both types of relationships, online and off, how does interaction differ?  Are you more likely to be completely honest, because it's less likely they'll judge you for it?  Are you more likely to lie, because you can likely get away with it and impress them at the same time?  I suppose this applies to everyone and every type of relationship too, like even your representation of yourself on DC?

Each situation has it's pros and cons when it comes to not telling the truth. In person I'm pretty good at lying (blame my Dad for that) so lying to my g/f would be rather easy to do. However it is then also fairly easy to admit fault, because unless the conversation is recorded you can then turn around and say that what you *meant* to say, or what you *actually* said and she doesn't remember it right...a variety of excuses there. However you do see the immediate effects of the lie - so if you're doing it for personal gain (e.g sympathy, or shifting fault) you can quickly see the pain you put the other person under for your lies, and that can hurt.

 

On paper/online it is easy to lie because they can't read your face, voice, all those little physical tells. But once you've recorded that lie you have now committed it to word, so it is blazenly staring at you and burning into you, reminding you of what you're doing and making you (quite rightly) have second thoughts over whether a lie is the right thing to do. And as my ex discovered, if you lose track of the lies it's also fairly obvious because you do have that written record. Especially in this format the effects of a lie take longer to take effect - but it means that when you are eventually caught out, it really does come back at you with a vengeance.

 

To be honest, I'm (ashamedly) a very good liar in both respects. Perhaps not something to admit to so many online friends who can question whether or not the things I've said I've done ever happened! So please don't think I've spent nearly three years leading you all on - I really have done what I've said I've done.

Edited August 17, 2011 by Kestra15

[Ladyyuri513]

I honestly never thought I'd find a meaningful relationship online but my now fiance I actually met playing wow online. It's been two years and I gave up quite a bit to be with him and he did the same for me. It can be rough sometimes especially the first year of our relationship but if there is love and compassion there it'll work out in time if you really want it to.

Edited August 18, 2011 by Ladyyuri513

[Alpha Gryph]

Online dating is something I'd never do. If I'm going to be with someone, I'd prefer that I met them face-to-face, because you really don't know a person until that happens. I don't see it working over the internet. But that's just me. I know that true love is incredibly strong and can happen anywhere.

[NixAyum]

I have a bit of a question to get another conversation started. If you've been in both types of relationships, online and off, how does interaction differ? Are you more likely to be completely honest, because it's less likely they'll judge you for it? Are you more likely to lie, because you can likely get away with it and impress them at the same time? I suppose this applies to everyone and every type of relationship too, like even your representation of yourself on DC?

Ohjesus there's really no comparing them in my case. /I/ was different because of the circumstances, /they/ were very different people, the times we talked and what we talked about and what we had in common and how I thought of them were so different. I was painfully honest with both of them, /maybe/ the offline one less (but I can chalk that up to other things), but I never lied to either of them. I had no reason to, they both were pretty good to me for the most part.

 

I try to be as honest as possible on DC. I've listed off things like where I live, age, I've named my school and dorm multiple times. I haven't like, put my social out there or anything, but yeah. I've held my tongue on issues around the forum, even before I was a mod, and with the color...comes a whole new world (and it's quite a process to go through). It's easy to exaggerate or make things up online, and when it comes to serious discussions I try not to do that.

[Keriel]

currently in an online relationship.

 

I would never suggest online dating to someone. in my case it has been very very stressful thanks to time differance and the fact that both me and my boyfriend have jobs. when i wake up, he goes to sleep (hm reminds me of some lyrics)

however, two years and we're still together, and he has never hurt my intentionally. my previois relationships were all abusive.

1st relationship the guy forced himself on me after i turned down his advancments (i was 13)

2nd the guy pressured me into doing what i didn't want (still 13)

3rd was the guy i'm with now, he never pressured or anything but he did split up from me to persue another relation closer to home (16)

4th again was again abusive, started fine but then he started to pressure me and cheated. it felt so good when i ditched him (17)

 

after the fourth relationship fell apart i was a mess for many different reasons and had developed depression and severe anxiety due to a lot of things that had been happening. i snap and message the guy i'm with now and just fell to peices asking why was i not good enough etc. i was in a bad way. it turned out he had been trying to contact me to say sorry. Since then we slowly mended what we could and he let me set the pace yet again.

i was 17 then, now i'm almost 19 i have met my boyfriend and he was very gentle and shy. very respectuful. the only guy to ever treat me well, is sadly a guy who lives miles away. he is in america, i'm in australia. with any luck in 2012 or 2013 i will get to visit his family and from there we can organize what to do next. fingers crossed i last that long

(still suffer depression and anxiety)

[7Deadly$ins]

Each situation has it's pros and cons when it comes to not telling the truth. In person I'm pretty good at lying (blame my Dad for that) so lying to my g/f would be rather easy to do. However it is then also fairly easy to admit fault, because unless the conversation is recorded you can then turn around and say that what you *meant* to say, or what you *actually* said and she doesn't remember it right...a variety of excuses there. However you do see the immediate effects of the lie - so if you're doing it for personal gain (e.g sympathy, or shifting fault) you can quickly see the pain you put the other person under for your lies, and that can hurt.

 

On paper/online it is easy to lie because they can't read your face, voice, all those little physical tells. But once you've recorded that lie you have now committed it to word, so it is blazenly staring at you and burning into you, reminding you of what you're doing and making you (quite rightly) have second thoughts over whether a lie is the right thing to do. And as my ex discovered, if you lose track of the lies it's also fairly obvious because you do have that written record. Especially in this format the effects of a lie take longer to take effect - but it means that when you are eventually caught out, it really does come back at you with a vengeance.

 

To be honest, I'm (ashamedly) a very good liar in both respects. Perhaps not something to admit to so many online friends who can question whether or not the things I've said I've done ever happened! So please don't think I've spent nearly three years leading you all on - I really have done what I've said I've done.

So, you do own a panda?