Online Dating

[Anca]

Having online friends is pretty brilliant, oftentimes much better than those in your real life, for obvious reasons. But as far as online dating goes, things get a bit more complicated. What if either one of you gets really attached and the other decides to just bail? Or you come across, like others before me said, a liar?

 

Besides, videochat and webcams and all that doesn't really seem like enough to me. I have nothing against those who do it and if it's your thing, go for it. But I personally wouldn't practice it.

[Kestra15]

So, you do own a panda?

Yes, I own a Panda.

[LuckyFreckle]

I met my husband online 9 1/2 years ago online. It wasn't through a dating service, but through an old roleplay chat, so we already had one thing in common. We weren't looking for a relationship, but we found it nonetheless.

 

We dated long-distance for two years, only got together face to face three times in that span, had two break-ups, got back together, went through a pregnancy and giving the baby up for adoption, and have been married now for almost 4 years.

 

In my opinion, it doesn't work for everyone. It strongly depends on the people in that relationship. Some can't or don't want to handle that type of relationship, and that's fine. I think it worked for us because we really cared about each other and were both patient in getting to where we are now.

 

And as he's in the Army, and currently deployed to Afghanistan (he served in Iraq a couple years ago as well), we know how the separation feels and can both deal with it, although the situation is a bit more dangerous (he's thousands of miles away instead of just 800, and in a war zone instead of his home state).

 

I think it depends on the people, however, these days and how many creeps are online, I think more so than back in 2002 when we met, I'd recommend that everyone doing this be careful and be on their guard.

 

Online dating can be creepy, or scary, or dumb, or however you want to look at it, but I would not change my life for anything, and I'm very grateful that I found my husband online. This should be our last deployment, and he left less than a month ago, so I'm looking forward to this being our last long amount of separation.

[SPQR]

It can be a bit sketchy... I don't know if I'd personally ever do it. I like the idea of meeting someone because of RPs/discussion/interactions at a forum or something better than online dating services, though.

[Keriel]

I met Keyon in an anime chat room. would never actually use online dating sites, but they also seem to work for people.

with keyon he didn't know it but i tested him for a very long time before i even told him one thing about myself. apart from the break up he has never put a foot wrong (excluding normal things seeing as both of us deal with external stresses we have our rocky moments)

[MEDUSA]

It's kind of like chicken soup on a rather hot day. Only truly great if it's done right.

[Saphira3883]

Honestly, for me I'd say its online or nothing. The town I live in is so small that the last census in 2000 was like 450-500 people. I graduated high school in a class of 69 people and we were one of the bigger graduating classes!

I've dated atleast two guys I met online before, neither lasted long, I met one of them, and the other one was so short that we just didn't meet.

 

I'd say if I ever did online again, I'd wanna meet the guy first, and then think about a relationship later.

There is a guy I'm interested in right now, that I met online on an online game I play with some other friends that I purely no just online. And we'd like to meet, its just a when/how kinda thing right now.

 

I'd compare it to real life dating in a way though, you'll meet some people that aren't right and then eventually meet the one that is, you can do that in the real world or online, as long as you're safe about the online part.

[Dauntingale]

Well, there are already online friends, and that's fun right? But they never meet up or ask for too much information. Often times, it's unsafe to date online. You never know who you're really dealing with; they might not be who you think they are. Iunno. :I

[renton]

But they never meet up or ask for too much information. Often times, it's unsafe to date online. You never know who you're really dealing with; they might not be who you think they are. Iunno. :I

I agree with you to a certain degree but also I disagree because in most cases that's not true. I've had plenty of friends meet with guys/girls online after talking for months or years. Some today are still together. The "never know who you're really dating" applies to real life as well. So, while you make that point and it can be seen as rational, we can't just apply that to the online dating scene. I've met a lot of people who display a great amount of integrity online as opposed to real life. I'd say I cherish my friends online than I ever did in real life. It's weird how that worked out but maybe people who are awesome are just online lol!

 

Aside from my opinion on online relationships through seeing other peoples experiences, I've been going through one myself for almost two months. I really love the girl I talk to on a daily basis. We met on a game forum and I played with her constantly and I developed feelings for her over a short period of time. I kept them to myself until one of my friends ratted me out lol. I'm glad he did even though we're not friends today due to his own personal issues.

 

Anyways, back to the relationship, I was given the opportunity to webcam with her last month and wow! She's beautiful and I love to see her every chance I get. I finally was able to webcam with her like a week and a half ago. My webcam was in the main room so it was hard to get like any privacy with people in and out of the house. Then I realized I had a webcam on my laptop DERP . Yeah, we usually webcam everyday now. I loveeeeee it :]. Her voice is really nice too, I like when she starts singing. Eh, still trying to convince her to let me see her dance on the webcam since she enjoys that.

 

As for meeting the person you've met online that's a big step. I'm hoping soon I get to meet her. Complications have made it so meeting anytime soon wouldn't be the best situation. We've talked about a couple months, so I'm crossing my fingers . I'm content with not meeting for awhile if things have to be that way. I'd be sad but hey things happen.

 

I have no doubt she is the person she says she is. I don't even consider that she is hiding anything from me or being fake. I have complete trust in her. She might be wary of me though and I can understand people taking precautions. Eventually she will see I'm just as true as she is.

 

She's sleeping right now! >:[ I want her to wake up, so we can talk before I have to go to class. Hehe, and so I can see her pretty smile and eyes. She's really nice and my life has changed considerably since we started talking. Especially my outlook on life. The relationship to me is just as real as any other. I seriously am putting my heart on the line for this girl and I would be devastated if something happened. The feelings are real and I don't want to think of anything negative. So, I am always trying to be optimistic :].

 

I loveeeee my internet girly!

[FelineSoul]

I met my love on a online dating site about 5 years ago and we've been together for now almost 4.5 years. Ok, I always think I had kind of a lucky strike. Before him, I had absolutely NO experience in dating (not even kissing, holding hands, absolutely no experience) and then he wrote me, I fell a little bit in love with him and after 5 months we met for the first time - and only 5 days later our relationship started ;3

 

I find it always kinda sad, when I see some of my friends, wishing for a relationship, envying me and my boyfriend... But when I suggest online dating to them, they look at me with big eyes like I'm a weirdo...

[Vhale]

I have a sister that got very lucky and the first guy she met, she married from online dating. But she specifically chose a site that asked a lot of personality questions. She said it was 3 pages. And from what he tells us, the first 3 women he met were bad. One looked up the worth of his home online and then straight up wanted to marry him o.O The reason she tried it at all though, two of her previous boyfriends had been pretty bad. Both threatened her and one she had to get a restraining order on. So in her words, she felt like her judgement sucked, that a computer might do better and certainly not worse. She seems to have been right.

[Beth-la]

I've done it and regretted it. A guy online was my first boyfriend and sometimes I wish I could just make that go away and it not count. It was a big mistake. I think dating online may work for some people but I suggest only adults should, for safty issues. My second boyfriend is real. In real life where I really know him. We're still kids. Me more than him. And we've made are mistakes but we learned from them and we got something's a lot of teenage romances don't. We got real honor and trust and respect for each other. Whoops getting off of online dating and onto teen dating X3 anyways my stand is that online dating is easily a mistake especially for kids, and it diffidently doesn't feel as real.

[cfmtfm]

I shall sit on the virtual fence forever with this one.

 

I've seen many successful relationships due to online dating, but I've also seen terrible outcomes. I'm extremely happy to see that it worked out for some people in this thread However, there's always the risky chance. I personally would never do it but hey, it's always your choice in the end. No one is stopping others from online dating, but I hope they understand the risks/possible consequences.

Edited January 29, 2013 by cfmtfm

[gyiyg]

I first met my SO on a forum (and then we moved to a chatbox with some other members of the forum, and then we moved to AIM)... She's one of the only people I've ever managed to make a connection with, and she's for the most part been the only person I've been able to really really open up to for about three years now, and things just kind of happened. I couldn't be happier c:

We've done camera chat and voice chat a few times (not a lot because I get nervous and don't really like the sound of my own voice, which is most of the reason why I don't talk on the phone much either), and I trust her enough that I'm more worried about what our parents will think (as I am also female, her parents I am especially worried about as she comes from a pretty religious family) than that she isn't who she says she is...

I have a lot of trouble communicating with people face-to-face (I have some trouble doing so online, too, but it's definitely a lot easier), so my only friends that I can really call "friends" are online, too, although I don't talk to most of them as much as I talk to her.

[Shato]

There are no people in my area that I can even remotely relate to, I wasn't attracted to anyone. I thought I was perhaps asexual but about 3 years ago I met my girlfriend in an online chat. She was amazing, we have yet to meet as she lives in Ohio but we just had our two year anniversary and we plan on meeting in about a year when I finish with the majority of my education

 

I first met my SO on a forum (and then we moved to a chatbox with some other members of the forum, and then we moved to AIM)... She's one of the only people I've ever managed to make a connection with, and she's for the most part been the only person I've been able to really really open up to for about three years now, and things just kind of happened. I couldn't be happier c:

We've done camera chat and voice chat a few times (not a lot because I get nervous and don't really like the sound of my own voice, which is most of the reason why I don't talk on the phone much either), and I trust her enough that I'm more worried about what our parents will think (as I am also female, her parents I am especially worried about as she comes from a pretty religious family) than that she isn't who she says she is...

I have a lot of trouble communicating with people face-to-face (I have some trouble doing so online, too, but it's definitely a lot easier), so my only friends that I can really call "friends" are online, too, although I don't talk to most of them as much as I talk to her.

Also this. I have the same problem, I hate my voice and get too nervous talking on the phone and face to face, we're both really happy but I have a lot of insecurities about myself and she also comes from a religious family

Edited January 30, 2013 by Shato

[demonicvampiregirl]

There are no people in my area that I can even remotely relate to, I wasn't attracted to anyone. I thought I was perhaps asexual but about 3 years ago I met my girlfriend in an online chat. She was amazing, we have yet to meet as she lives in Ohio but we just had our two year anniversary and we plan on meeting in about a year when I finish with the majority of my education

 

 

Also this. I have the same problem, I hate my voice and get too nervous talking on the phone and face to face, we're both really happy but I have a lot of insecurities about myself and she also comes from a religious family

I'm from Ohio too. -lol- Random but yeah.

 

Anyway. I tried this twice and they both vanished from the online world so I'll never try it again. Never had a bf outside of that either. Lame I know. :/

[Wantdew]

NEVER! I despise online dating its just so... I don't even know why i hate it i just do...

 

 

[esnym]

I can't imagine having a romantic relationship with someone I don't interact with in real life. To me, that would feel too much like having a crush on a favorite book or movie character. I know that there is a face behind every username, and I have made great friends online before, but I can't see myself trusting anyone from the internet enough to actually date them... the thought scares me. I like to be able to look at someone's face, read their expression, their body language... in a way that even voice chat doesn't measure up. O_o But if it works for people, I can only be happy for them.

[7Deadly$ins]

I can't imagine having a romantic relationship with someone I don't interact with in real life. To me, that would feel too much like having a crush on a favorite book or movie character. I know that there is a face behind every username, and I have made great friends online before, but I can't see myself trusting anyone from the internet enough to actually date them... the thought scares me. I like to be able to look at someone's face, read their expression, their body language... in a way that even voice chat doesn't measure up. O_o But if it works for people, I can only be happy for them.

Skype.

[esnym]

Whoops. When I said voice chat, I meant to include video chat as well. I guess it's totally a personal thing, but unless I already know someone well I find skype awkward. X)

[Windnose]

Speaking as someone currently in a online, long distance relationship (been together for over a year and a half now), it is very different from a "normal" relationship and is much harder. It can also be very dangerous if you aren't careful. The worse part is that, in my case, the reality of the relationship doesn't even begin to hit you until you get that first gift in the mail; and the reality of the relationship doesn't truly hit you with it's full force until after you physically meet. An online relationship can also really mess with your emotions if you're not careful because you do need to put so much more time and effort into the relationship compared to normal or else it's bound to fail. Plus, no matter how hard you try, you can never be your true self online, so you really need to keep a open mind on who your boyfriend/girlfriend truly is. On the bright side, even though it's taking a while to really get a good handle on my boyfriend's personality, I do know for a fact he is who he says he is and that alone is enough to keep me in the relationship to learn more and more about him and his personality.

 

As far as the danger part goes, it's really not that dangerous if you know what to look for and play your cards right; I've learned what to look for and feel very confident in my online social decision making. Though, seriously, it really gets to me when I hear stories about people being catfished. It really gives online dating (and people online in general) a terrible portrayal.

[Keolah]

I met my boyfriend of seven years on a zombie apocalypse browser-based game. We've been living together for five years now.

 

I'd say that online dating is far, far safer than dating in real life. You really cannot compare the danger between chatting with someone on the internet... and going to a bar and getting into a really bad situation that could lead to real, physical harm.

 

And, in my experience, people are more likely to be able to be their true selves online, as well. And I mean this in the worst way possible. You see all the time people who can get away with being jerks online because they think it's anonymous and they can get away with it... which, honestly, really tells you a good deal about what kind of person they really are, and you have to think that they'd do the same thing in real life if they could get away with it.

 

Personally, I've always been really bad about interacting with people in real life. I stutter pretty badly sometimes, and I probably have some sort of social anxiety disorder. But put me behind a keyboard, and I suddenly turn eloquent... or a reasonable facsimile thereof, at any rate. All of my friends are online these days, and most of them I've known for 10-15 years now.

 

Yes, there are creeps online. I would much rather weed them out online where I can go, "Okay, you're creeping me out now. *banned*" I've known some selfish jerks. I've known some people who were just plain nuts. *shrug* I'm still glad that I met them online, rather than someplace I couldn't get away from them as easily.

 

So, my advice. Don't get so caught up in emotion that you're blind to reality. Don't go rushing out to meet someone in real life that you just met. And if you're under eighteen... or even under twenty-five... relax and don't rush into anything at all. Make friends, sure, but don't think that you're going to find love at first sight or that you're going to meet the love of your life when you're fifteen. Sure, it happens sometimes, but honestly, many people under twenty-five aren't ready for a stable, long-term relationship at all. You see a lot of people who rush into marriage when they're twenty, get pregnant, have a kid or two, then regret it a few years later and wind up divorced, with a lot of heartache on all accounts for themselves as well as the children. You've got your whole life ahead of you. You can afford to wait and make sure you get it right.

[Red2111]

online dating has its pro's and con's like everything else in life. for me, the pro's outwiegh the con's.

 

if it wasn't for online dating, i would have never met my soul mate. we're celebrating our 11yr anniversary and will be married *points to siggie*

 

we've lived together for 6 years now and the first 5 yers of our relationship was spent with him overseas in the Army. at the time, he was 22 and i was 16. it was a hard relationship, we have our disagreements and our differences; it was especially hard for the year & 1/2 that he was in Iraq in 2003. but those hardships made our relationship stronger, adn those 5 years of long distance built up a strong level of communications, understanding and knowledge about eachother that i think a couple can only develope over a long distance relationship or 20+ years of marriage.

 

 

i guess back in the early 2000's online dating was different, less chance of being catfished. you still had your prevs and your psychos, but the taboo on online dating and meeting people online was even heavier back then than it is now you also had no sites dedicated to this and now places liek Facebook to verify a persons identity (well as much as you can on those).

 

i also agree with the above poster. people are more liekly to be their true selves online, so you find out quicker if you really like that person or not.

 

 

now i say this as an adult now, but as a future parent ... online dating and children not so sure i'd let my kids do that until they were adults tbh but then again, as a parent if you balk at soemthign your teen does, it makes them want to do it even more *sigh* i'll cross that bridge when i come to it.

[KaelaBoo24]

I think its just as possible to fall in love online just as in real life. As long as you're serious about it and don't take it for granted. Plus in some cases where you can't see what the other person looks like, people end up liking the person for their personality rather than their apperance. I'm not saying that online dating has no negative factors, but it can be just as genuine as dating in real life.

[Shato]

I think its just as possible to fall in love online just as in real life. As long as you're serious about it and don't take it for granted. Plus in some cases where you can't see what the other person looks like, people end up liking the person for their personality rather than their apperance. I'm not saying that online dating has no negative factors, but it can be just as genuine as dating in real life.

This ^ I agree, it allows two people to get to know each other based on personality and not judged on appearance first.