Emotional Support

[Draconiusultamius]

I'm two days into my second psychiatry rotation and I'm getting a bit worried. I was doing really well for a sec and I thought I could keep the momentum going, but I keep thinking of the patients and of the conditions, and tbh, I keep linking it up to my day to day life. Sure, that helps with the studying, but it also makes me feel nervous. Like I'm starting to see bits of myself here and there when I read more and more. It's just becoming a cycle of reading into things to try and learn them, then seeing some trait of it in myself and wondering if that's me. Here's to hoping I get through the next 26 days of this rotation without having a small breakdown with every video they make us discuss anyways lol.

[Astharoshe]

5 minutes ago, Draconiusultamius said:

I'm two days into my second psychiatry rotation and I'm getting a bit worried. I was doing really well for a sec and I thought I could keep the momentum going, but I keep thinking of the patients and of the conditions, and tbh, I keep linking it up to my day to day life. Sure, that helps with the studying, but it also makes me feel nervous. Like I'm starting to see bits of myself here and there when I read more and more. It's just becoming a cycle of reading into things to try and learn them, then seeing some trait of it in myself and wondering if that's me. Here's to hoping I get through the next 26 days of this rotation without having a small breakdown with every video they make us discuss anyways lol.

Saw this by total chance, kinda nifty - I'm currently a forensic psychologist and used to do some clinical and research-related work before this. If you need any support or advice, I can offer plenty, as our two occupations are traps for anyone who thinks a bit too hard or has any degree of introspection, and I've had both tinges of what you're describing and have also had colleagues who had similar concerns. Just know that it's extremely normal when it's all your life is centered around for a while, and it'll pass if you let it (but ignoring it if it's that loud isn't good, either - balance!)

[Draconiusultamius]

53 minutes ago, Astharoshe said:

Saw this by total chance, kinda nifty - I'm currently a forensic psychologist and used to do some clinical and research-related work before this. If you need any support or advice, I can offer plenty, as our two occupations are traps for anyone who thinks a bit too hard or has any degree of introspection, and I've had both tinges of what you're describing and have also had colleagues who had similar concerns. Just know that it's extremely normal when it's all your life is centered around for a while, and it'll pass if you let it (but ignoring it if it's that loud isn't good, either - balance!)

Aww, thanks, it's not horrible rn, but holy hecc did I get thrown for a loop last semester. Wound up just going home and lying around for each clinical day in that whole rotation. I wanna go back to GP lol, that was nice and fun. Surgery is easier since cutting requires a lot less introspection and rumination to get to the issue. I have no idea how y'all detach yourselves from this if it's all you do for even 4 hours a day, because thinking about it hard for more than 1 a week makes me go into a mini crisis. Doesn't help that my hormones like to get in on the action either!

[PrincessLucy]

Just got back from the lawyer's office.

 

Signed the paperwork to sell my late mother's house. Turned in the keys and garage door openers to the lawyer.

 

Closing is early tomorrow morning.

 

My late parents bought the house in 79, so I have lived there, on and off, since then.

[trystan]

20 minutes ago, PrincessLucy said:

Just got back from the lawyer's office.

Signed the paperwork to sell my late mother's house. Turned in the keys and garage door openers to the lawyer.

Closing is early tomorrow morning.

My late parents bought the house in 79, so I have lived there, on and off, since then.

{{hugs}}

[Fuzzbucket]

1 hour ago, PrincessLucy said:

Just got back from the lawyer's office.

 

Signed the paperwork to sell my late mother's house. Turned in the keys and garage door openers to the lawyer.

 

Closing is early tomorrow morning.

 

My late parents bought the house in 79, so I have lived there, on and off, since then.

 

That's tough. Take care of YOU.

[PrincessLucy]

2 hours ago, trystan said:

{{hugs}}

 

1 hour ago, Fuzzbucket said:

 

That's tough. Take care of YOU.

Thank you both. I am doing okay, and so is my son. It is strange walking away from the house, but I couldn't have afforded to buy my brother and sister out of their shares. House was too big for just 2 of us.

 

My son quit his job and took care of my mother when Covid hit so we wouldn't have to have a stranger come in.

 

Condo living is a lot different from living in a house, but he is adjusting well.

 

Yeah, he is an adult living with his mother, in the condo we both own outright. He didn't have much to say about where we bought but if he was opposed, we would have bought elsewhere. This was one of a few available in the same town in our no mortgage price range, and my son wanted to stay in town. That was important to him.  Since it is a 3 bedroom condo, the cat has his own room. The dog and cat take turns in my room as the cat is evil.

 

We don't like gardening and yard work. We don't like to shovel snow. A condo was right for us.

 

Soon I will get the check from the lawyer for the proceeds, and can reimburse myself for the gas/electric/sewer/water/taxes for the last 9 months and work with the lawyer to settle the estate.

[trystan]

it sounds like things are going well @PrincessLucy   

 

it was weird for me to leave the county i grew up and lived the first 52 years of my life in, but i'm only across the state, not the country, so there's that.  we've been in the new house for about 3 1/2 months now, and it's going pretty well.

 

except for the part where, when hubby went back across the state for a few days last week, he had dinner with our older daughter and my mom - my mom gave him and older daughter covid, and then hubby gave it to me.  we've never felt poorly this week, so it's all good (except for the positive tests - his on saturday, and mine just yesterday.  and after five days for me (tuesday) i'll just wear a mask when i go shopping.  but my new glasses and a trip to another yarn store will have to wait until i'm negative again.  

[PrincessLucy]

42 minutes ago, trystan said:

it sounds like things are going well @PrincessLucy   

 

it was weird for me to leave the county i grew up and lived the first 52 years of my life in, but i'm only across the state, not the country, so there's that.  we've been in the new house for about 3 1/2 months now, and it's going pretty well.

 

except for the part where, when hubby went back across the state for a few days last week, he had dinner with our older daughter and my mom - my mom gave him and older daughter covid, and then hubby gave it to me.  we've never felt poorly this week, so it's all good (except for the positive tests - his on saturday, and mine just yesterday.  and after five days for me (tuesday) i'll just wear a mask when i go shopping.  but my new glasses and a trip to another yarn store will have to wait until i'm negative again.  

I hope your daughter and mother feel okay as well and that you are all negative soon.

 

Covid sucks. My son had it twice and I got it once. I really hated taking the Paxlovid pills, but my son can't swallow pills, so he had to suffer thru his (luckily mild) symptoms. He masks at work still.

 

My son got his job back (the one that he quit to take care of my mother) and his boss lives in our complex. 7 people that I worked with live/lived in my complex (one moved and 1 quit).

 

I retired (2 weeks ago the coming Saturday) and my sister and I have been to the senior center for exercise and are going back again tomorrow. It's like having a free gym membership. They have pool tables, art classes and play setback, pinochle and bingo, so we may join so of those things too. Senior center is within walking distance of my condo. Not that I would walk it, but I could. But I won't. 

[trystan]

2 hours ago, PrincessLucy said:

I hope your daughter and mother feel okay as well and that you are all negative soon.

thanks  my mom sounds like her usual self again, so that's good.  hubby and i are kinda coughy and congested, but i have the added "why is my nose itchy, that's an allergy thing!" as well. *sigh*

older daughter told me it's like a mild cold but going away.

i might end up testing tomorrow or saturday - we have a box and a half left (6 tests) that expire in like two weeks, and that's with the extended expiration date!  

 

senior center sounds pretty cool, actually.  i'm not there yet, not at 52  

Edited February 3, 2023 by trystan

[LadyLyzar]

On 1/31/2023 at 11:18 AM, TaikoYon said:

 

I was attacked by a freaking pitbull when I was a kid, I know that not all dogs are bad but my fear and dislike is at least reasonable.

I honestly don't care if you don't trust me. I'm not an abuser, I'm not gonna reject the dog and then kick it like a psychopath. Worst case scenario, it goes to the nearby shelter.
Our shelter is very kind and don't just keep the animals in cages, they all have special rooms.

Thank you to this thread for making me realize that I should stand my ground
My mother is coming this weekend, I'll tell you guys all how it goes...

 

I'm going to say it a little louder for the people in the back.  Animals make TERRIBLE surprise gifts.

 

You should never, ever ever ever EVER gift an animal to anyone who has not expressed a desire to own such an animal AND is capable of caring for it.  It almost never goes well, despite what we are are shown in idealized media.  An unwanted pet is frequently resented.  I'm not saying you'd do this, obviously - but it's quite uncool to "surprise" someone with a years-long commitment.

 

Surprise gifting a dog to someone who is understandably afraid of dogs is ridiculous, but if your mother is in a manic episode, I can see why this might have occurred.

 

Before you contact the shelter, see if you can contact the breeder of the pup.  A responsible breeder will take back an unwanted animal because they want to make sure it goes to a good home, and they typically HATE surprise gift scenarios because of this sort of thing.  Your mother will likely be out her money she paid for it, but that's life.

[Lagie]

9 hours ago, LadyLyzar said:

 

I'm going to say it a little louder for the people in the back.  Animals make TERRIBLE surprise gifts.

 

You should never, ever ever ever EVER gift an animal to anyone who has not expressed a desire to own such an animal AND is capable of caring for it.  It almost never goes well, despite what we are are shown in idealized media.  An unwanted pet is frequently resented.  I'm not saying you'd do this, obviously - but it's quite uncool to "surprise" someone with a years-long commitment.

 

Surprise gifting a dog to someone who is understandably afraid of dogs is ridiculous, but if your mother is in a manic episode, I can see why this might have occurred.

 

Before you contact the shelter, see if you can contact the breeder of the pup.  A responsible breeder will take back an unwanted animal because they want to make sure it goes to a good home, and they typically HATE surprise gift scenarios because of this sort of thing.  Your mother will likely be out her money she paid for it, but that's life.

Amen.

(I work at an animal shelter.)

[Fuzzbucket]

19 hours ago, LadyLyzar said:

 

I'm going to say it a little louder for the people in the back.  Animals make TERRIBLE surprise gifts.

 

You should never, ever ever ever EVER gift an animal to anyone who has not expressed a desire to own such an animal AND is capable of caring for it.  It almost never goes well, despite what we are are shown in idealized media.  An unwanted pet is frequently resented.  I'm not saying you'd do this, obviously - but it's quite uncool to "surprise" someone with a years-long commitment.

 

Surprise gifting a dog to someone who is understandably afraid of dogs is ridiculous, but if your mother is in a manic episode, I can see why this might have occurred.

 

Before you contact the shelter, see if you can contact the breeder of the pup.  A responsible breeder will take back an unwanted animal because they want to make sure it goes to a good home, and they typically HATE surprise gift scenarios because of this sort of thing.  Your mother will likely be out her money she paid for it, but that's life.

 

Thank you @LadyLyzar for saying so well what so many of us have been trying to say.

 

And being bipolar is NOT an excuse for pushing this kind of thing. Most bipolar individuals have more control than some people think - and I'm afraid some take advantage of that belief. As my relative would tell you, were they here.

[Draconiusultamius]

23 hours ago, LadyLyzar said:

 

I'm going to say it a little louder for the people in the back.  Animals make TERRIBLE surprise gifts.

 

You should never, ever ever ever EVER gift an animal to anyone who has not expressed a desire to own such an animal AND is capable of caring for it.  It almost never goes well, despite what we are are shown in idealized media.  An unwanted pet is frequently resented.  I'm not saying you'd do this, obviously - but it's quite uncool to "surprise" someone with a years-long commitment.

 

Surprise gifting a dog to someone who is understandably afraid of dogs is ridiculous, but if your mother is in a manic episode, I can see why this might have occurred.

 

Before you contact the shelter, see if you can contact the breeder of the pup.  A responsible breeder will take back an unwanted animal because they want to make sure it goes to a good home, and they typically HATE surprise gift scenarios because of this sort of thing.  Your mother will likely be out her money she paid for it, but that's life.

 

Oh that note, never buy an animal on a whim for yourself or to appease a kid either! That also doesn't end well. I had a few that were bought on more of a whim as a kid and none of them lived very long or very good lives. Knowing what I do now, it was pretty selfish of me, but then again, I was only a child so it was probably more on my parents to stop that. I tried to care for them in the best way I could (until I got bored), but they really weren't in ideal conditions, even when I tried to get my parents to give them better conditions, I was always met with "no". After my guinea pig died very prematurely, I didn't ask for any more pets (this was when I was like 14-15) since my parents had it in their minds that he didn't require company or a bigger enclosure/time outside of it.

 

I've also had a friend of a friend who bought a baby bunny on a whim ("It's so cute, look at it!") and posted tons of photos to her instagram with it. After about a month, she got bored of it and according to her, it was eaten by something. Ofc, she didn't latch the fence or something (it was allowed to roam free in her parent's backyard since they didn't want her to take it inside), and something must've gotten to it. Also, it grew and was no longer a cute accessory for instagram clout. For some reason, she was super offended when I told her she was a terrible person for buying it on a whim and for letting it get loose in the first place, even though her idea of keeping a rabbit was that they didn't need anything at all, could just live off of lawn grass and pellets, and would survive just fine outside, in a city where temperatures drop below -20c in the winter, nor did she like that I tried to inform her to look into getting all sorts of stuff for it when she first got it. In her mind, it cost $20 and didn't need a vet or anything beyond maybe food and water, and she expressed how it was annoying that she needed to care for "the dumb rabbit" once the novelty wore off bc her parents said she had to.

 

If someone buys a pet on a whim or for their children, but doesn't do even the smallest bit of research into caring for said animal, that's seriously irresponsible and very questionable. Like, just don't do that, and don't be afraid to tell other people not to do that. And if you find yourself or someone in that situation, at least surrender the animal to a shelter or try to find a new owner, don't just turn it loose. 

[AbrelBeta]

My trouble ended in a strange way.

I'm an orphan now.

[AsymDoll13]

38 minutes ago, AbrelBeta said:

My trouble ended in a strange way.

I'm an orphan now.

 

Oh my goodness. Are you okay? 

[AbrelBeta]

1 hour ago, AsymDoll13 said:

 

Oh my goodness. Are you okay? 

I'm fine. Now I live alone with my cats. They can take care of themselves, so I won't be too busy.

I need some time to adapt to loneliness, but at least my life is quieter

[AsymDoll13]

I guess so. I wish you a ton of luck. Make sure you pet your kitties and keep them close until you're settled. 

[Fuzzbucket]

5 hours ago, AbrelBeta said:

I'm fine. Now I live alone with my cats. They can take care of themselves, so I won't be too busy.

I need some time to adapt to loneliness, but at least my life is quieter

 

I hope you feel the lifting of a great weight that we three sisters did when my emotionally abusive mother died. Take care of yourself and your cats,.

[TaikoYon]

Update on the situation with my mother
She did not bring the dog down (phew)
She did seem salty about it though, and later took out her anger on my grandma.
Other than that it's all good now

[Fuzzbucket]

That's great news.  

[purplehaze]

2 hours ago, TaikoYon said:

She did not bring the dog down (phew)

Yay!

2 hours ago, TaikoYon said:

She did seem salty about it though, and later took out her anger on my grandma.

Boo!

[Cireth]

I have had a weird virus thing for eight days now. Very tired, breathless and I don't know how else to describe this although it doesn't make a lick of sense, but my organs feel nauseous. Yeah. Don't know how else to describe it. It feels very weird and unpleasant.

Edited February 14, 2023 by Cireth
missing word

[AsymDoll13]

Hi guys. 

 

Had a couple of horrific days. 

My best friend lost one of her guinea pigs, and that was traumatic enough. 

 

Today, my parents asked me to pet sit for the weekend. They have a sweet little dog, called Cassie, who is like four years old. She's easy to care for and it's all good. Problem is? I like with my best friend, and welp... the whole thing is that my bestie's dad dislikes my parents due to a ton of issues (mostly my dad), and we had to ask to take the car to their place, about half an hour away. Apparently, we help them more than they help us? All the things that have been going on the first few months that we've done with my parents have been for me? And they always feed us or whatever they'd like to do. It's all good. I don't get it. 

 

To be fair, I can understand his dislike of my dad, who has done some messed up things in the past (while addicted to things). But right now, he's doing much better. And now... He's doing a lot better. And I dunno... I'm so tired. It probably makes zero sense, since I typed this like a dork, but I needed to vent. Thanks for reading!

[PrincessLucy]

My niece's fiance bought a house.

 

I found out about this today when we were picking up my niece.

 

I saw the house, and it is on a super busy road. Front yard is fenced, which is super important if they plan on having kids, which I believe they do.

 

I haven't been inside yet. I don't think there is anywhere safe to pack the car to get out. Long driveway, but too narrow for 2 cars next to each other.

 

They will have a work truck plus 3 cars there. My niece gets her license at the end of the month.

 

She works part-time. He works fulltime, and hopefully has been socking away money before this. She hasn't been.

 

3 bedroom, $220K. Mortgage will be about $1500 a month.  Plus oil, plus electric, plus water, sewer, trash, insurance for the cars, food, furniture, etc.

 

How do people afford this, especially just starting out? 

 

And, lol, I know my sister. She is getting closer and closer to being an empty nester, and she won't be good at it. She's gonna fill up the house with more and more stuff. My nephew still lives there but has options if he wants to move out. He spends foolishly, mostly on grub hub and things like that, but still socks away a good portion of his check.