Emotional Support

[AsymDoll13]

4 hours ago, purplehaze said:

If they've broken up, she's with someone new, and she's not speaking to him, why does she need a go between?

*Hugs* to you. I know you care a lot about your brother and it must be really hard to see him hurting but, like you say, you have other worries so try not to get sucked in.

 

 

I have zero idea. Like at all. I spoke to them both last night and told them that I'm done. There's too much stuff going on elsewhere that needs my attention (like my poor mother losing her brother and her aunt soon). 

[purplehaze]

26 minutes ago, AsymDoll13 said:

I spoke to them both last night and told them that I'm done.

Sounds like you are on the right track. Now make it stick. Just refuse to relay anything. Sort of sounds like she is toying with him.

[AsymDoll13]

I think she is. But I can't tell either one of them that, not without making a huge mess of things, so... yeah. Luckily my brother works today, so hopefully that keeps him distracted. As for her... I'm not in the mood to entertain her. 

[PrincessLucy]

@trystanany update on the house?

[trystan]

hmm. yes?

where did i leave off?

near the end of august (the 23rd), we got a buyer for our house - who was not at the open house though.  they had a home inspection last week, and there will be an appraiser out later this week.  the buyer's only contingency as we understand it is that he gets approved for the mortgage.  and we suspect the house will be appraised for more than the offer the buyer put on the house.  settlement is set for october 21.

at the end of august (the 30th) we got a call from our realtor (or was it the title company?) that there was a tax sale on the house we're looking to buy.  what that translates to is that three sellers ago, someone didn't pay their property taxes, so the house had to be sold (and that person had to go find another place).  after some clicking, if i understand it right, the house we're buying is owned by Landmax Realty.  so they're having lawyers look into the tax sale.  and we will not have our buying settlement on september 13.

we're supposed to hear from our realtor tomorrow, with hopefully a timetable and some possibilities.

one thought is that if it won't take all that long to clear up the title, the current owners (Landmax) might be amenable to us renting the house until the title gets cleared up and then we can make settlement on it once our current house sells.  we did learn we can sigh a lot of the docuements online, and our realtor here can be our proxy at the actual selling settlement. and then we'll have the money when it comes time for our buying settlement.

another possibility is that we put an offer on another house.  there is one that we looked at last month still on the market, with a few price drops.  it's been on the market for just over 3 months now, and in addition to the few things in the sellers' disclosure, we're wondering what else is wrong with it. our realtor is looking into it to see if there was a home inspection done on that house.  if we end up getting that house, we're going to put in an offer that's a little under asking, because of the work we know needs to be done.  if that plan happens, we can still have our buying settlement on october 21.

hopefully our realtor will have some information that will be helpful in our decision making.

*whew*

 

how's your new house coming, @PrincessLucy?  

[PrincessLucy]

On 9/5/2022 at 1:54 PM, trystan said:

hmm. yes?

where did i leave off?

near the end of august (the 23rd), we got a buyer for our house - who was not at the open house though.  they had a home inspection last week, and there will be an appraiser out later this week.  the buyer's only contingency as we understand it is that he gets approved for the mortgage.  and we suspect the house will be appraised for more than the offer the buyer put on the house.  settlement is set for october 21.

at the end of august (the 30th) we got a call from our realtor (or was it the title company?) that there was a tax sale on the house we're looking to buy.  what that translates to is that three sellers ago, someone didn't pay their property taxes, so the house had to be sold (and that person had to go find another place).  after some clicking, if i understand it right, the house we're buying is owned by Landmax Realty.  so they're having lawyers look into the tax sale.  and we will not have our buying settlement on september 13.

we're supposed to hear from our realtor tomorrow, with hopefully a timetable and some possibilities.

one thought is that if it won't take all that long to clear up the title, the current owners (Landmax) might be amenable to us renting the house until the title gets cleared up and then we can make settlement on it once our current house sells.  we did learn we can sigh a lot of the docuements online, and our realtor here can be our proxy at the actual selling settlement. and then we'll have the money when it comes time for our buying settlement.

another possibility is that we put an offer on another house.  there is one that we looked at last month still on the market, with a few price drops.  it's been on the market for just over 3 months now, and in addition to the few things in the sellers' disclosure, we're wondering what else is wrong with it. our realtor is looking into it to see if there was a home inspection done on that house.  if we end up getting that house, we're going to put in an offer that's a little under asking, because of the work we know needs to be done.  if that plan happens, we can still have our buying settlement on october 21.

hopefully our realtor will have some information that will be helpful in our decision making.

*whew*

 

how's your new house coming, @PrincessLucy?  

Wow! You have a lot going on. I hope everything gets settled in your favor. 

 

My condo is going okay. 

 

Eddie is supposed to come in one more time to work on the part of the wall that was torn out to remove the wasp nest. I made my son take all of his stuff (vacuum, ladder, scrapper, patch stuff and his jacket) out of my bedroom. I am tired of it. He has been here 5 times already. Wall is good enough for me. It still needs to me sanded and painted, but we are painting it ourselves when we finish painting my bedroom.

 

My bedroom still isn't unpacked, as we were waiting for the wall to be finished, but I am tired of hearing "one more day" over and over. He did a really good job, but we needed to move boxes from in front of my electric sockets all over the condo for the electrician that is coming on Friday to replace everything.  My bed was away from the wall and the guys who moved it to pull the wasp nest out knocked the frame apart, so it took me and my son a long time to get the bed frame fixed while dealing with that heavy mattress.

 

My knee surgery was 6 AM this morning. It went well, but I still don't have my painkillers.  The doctor's office called me Friday and said I could pick it up at any time, but they didn't call it in until Tuesday. They called in something that I am allergic to, and then at 8 PM last night, after the pharmacy closed they called in a replacement med which is related to what I am allergic to, so the pharmacy won't fill it until the doctor's office calls them back. 

 

Besides the knee pain I am okay.  The bathroom came out beautiful so far. I scraped off most of the popcorn ceiling (except for the part on the joint tape) and my son will prime it, as I am no longer able to do a stepladder until I recover. I still haven't picked out wall paint, as I want my son to have some say in the color. The tile and vanity are white and gray, so it will be some shade of gray on the walls.  The glass shower doors arrive tomorrow morning.

 

Friday is the electrician for 4 hours and the 4 bookcases that I ordered should arrive. After the electrician leaves and the bookcases arrive, my son will bring the dog crate upstairs into the cat room and take the dining room table out of the living room. We hook the dog's leash to it when someone is working upstairs, but the dog will have to be in the crate while the electrician is here, as he will need to get past him to replace the sockets here.

 

My nephew is supposed to come over Saturday to help assemble them so I can finish the living room.  

 

[trystan]

27 minutes ago, PrincessLucy said:

Wow! You have a lot going on. I hope everything gets settled in your favor. 

i hope so.... but it's been a week (even with the Labor Day holiday)..... we do have another house we need to find out more info about as well.  but one thing is in our favor - we have a date we can make settlement on  

 

28 minutes ago, PrincessLucy said:

My condo is going okay. 

sounds like you have a lot of stuff happening too.

glad the surgery went well, but oof on the painkillers. {{hugs}} and an easy recovery to you!

[PrincessLucy]

Well, electrician was here for 7 hours instead of 4. I now have 7 holes in my ceiling/wall in the kitchen, and besides the panel being changed out, there was no ground on the stove and I wanted that corrected so he needed to cut the holes to guide the wires across the kitchen. He also replaced all the light switches and sockets and he put a light fixture where there was a ceiling fan upstairs in the hallway. Some of the connections were melting. Definitely a fire hazard, but all fixed now. I may have someone to repair the holes if I can't. It depends on how long before I am able to get up on a step ladder.

 

He helped clean behind the dryer as the lint was just caked onto the floor and my son scrubbed the rest off the floor today. He was also finding random lint clumps in the back of the dryer. There was a solid inch of lint in the lint trap. What kind of jerk doesn't clean the lint trap? Woman who rented was a mother of 3. Who is THAT careless with the safety of their kids to not clean the lint trap.

 

Sooo, I am buying a new one, and that is okay. Safety is much more important than money.

 

Well, anybody who knows me knows that I am not a religious person. I really have no belief system per say, but I do believe in fate.

 

I believe that I was meant to buy THIS condo, fix up the safety issues to prevent someone else from being hurt. Perhaps my son, or the 3 brothers living next to me, or the nice couple on the other side of me with the 2 young children. Who knows what one of them could accomplish?

 

My knee is still bleeding a bit and the pain is ridiculous.

[trystan]

@PrincessLucy {{hugs}}

 

a dryer fire scares the crap out of me.

we'll need to buy a washer and dryer when we move.

 

and speaking of:

~buying: the title company called hubby on thursday, and the title issue was all cleared up!  and we signed new documentation so our buying settlement date is the same as our selling settlement date! (october 21).  the seller won't let us rent for a week or so before settlement; apparently a buyer renting isn't a thing.  i was at lunch with friends today, and one woman said she could totally see where they're coming from - it's really hard to get rid of a squatter in PA.  i mean, i know we're honest people and we'll make settlement on october 21 instead of blowing it off and squatting there, but the seller doesn't know that, so they have to cover all bases.  another woman - who's a lawyer - said she would ask again about renting! (also because that way the cats won't have to move twice (kennel, then the house).)

~selling: our buyer had a home inspection two weeks ago and an appraisal a few days ago, as he needs these for his mortgage approval (it's a VA mortgage).... and we should know about his approval in the early part of this coming week.

and that's when things get real

[PrincessLucy]

8 minutes ago, trystan said:

@PrincessLucy {{hugs}}

 

a dryer fire scares the crap out of me.

we'll need to buy a washer and dryer when we move.

 

and speaking of:

~buying: the title company called hubby on thursday, and the title issue was all cleared up!  and we signed new documentation so our buying settlement date is the same as our selling settlement date! (october 21).  the seller won't let us rent for a week or so before settlement; apparently a buyer renting isn't a thing.  i was at lunch with friends today, and one woman said she could totally see where they're coming from - it's really hard to get rid of a squatter in PA.  i mean, i know we're honest people and we'll make settlement on october 21 instead of blowing it off and squatting there, but the seller doesn't know that, so they have to cover all bases.  another woman - who's a lawyer - said she would ask again about renting! (also because that way the cats won't have to move twice (kennel, then the house).)

~selling: our buyer had a home inspection two weeks ago and an appraisal a few days ago, as he needs these for his mortgage approval (it's a VA mortgage).... and we should know about his approval in the early part of this coming week.

and that's when things get real

I am glad the title got cleared up and I hope things will go smooth with the buyer.

 

Hopefully the move won't be hard on the cats.

 

[trystan]

oh i'm glad the title got cleared up too!

and i'm sure the cats will hate every minute and not understand wtf is going on.

[Long_Before_Sunrise]

jJedi_Master_1 hasn't been online in a long time. 

His activity stopped on July 9th.

[Tiira]

Suddenly this autumn my mind decided to start making life difficult for me again. 😿 My uni courses started almost a month ago but studying seems to be out of question, which feels awful and frightening and I am so disappointed in myself. But I feel too scared of everything all the time, it takes up all my energy and makes it difficult to take care of myself. 😿

[trystan]

so we've picked a mover.  and the paperwork wants to know what the times of our settlements are.  makes sense, but we don't know that yet.

we had a few inspections this past week, some where good, some were lacking.  but i'd like to know the status of our buyer's U&O (use & occupancy. it's why the buyer needs all these inspections - so they can move in) so i have some idea when i'll know when we'll learn the time of our settlement.  i mean, do we have to fix the closet so the electric box is outside the closet?  my realtor will tell me not to worry.... except what shouldn't you tell a worrier not to to? worry. *sigh*

[PrincessLucy]

On 10/1/2022 at 5:01 PM, trystan said:

so we've picked a mover.  and the paperwork wants to know what the times of our settlements are.  makes sense, but we don't know that yet.

we had a few inspections this past week, some where good, some were lacking.  but i'd like to know the status of our buyer's U&O (use & occupancy. it's why the buyer needs all these inspections - so they can move in) so i have some idea when i'll know when we'll learn the time of our settlement.  i mean, do we have to fix the closet so the electric box is outside the closet? 

Seems way more complicated than my move, but I was moving into an unoccupied condo and my purchase was not dependent on selling the house.

 

The seller didn't fix things here; I got a credit on the purchase price. 

On 9/29/2022 at 8:33 AM, Tiira said:

Suddenly this autumn my mind decided to start making life difficult for me again. 😿 My uni courses started almost a month ago but studying seems to be out of question, which feels awful and frightening and I am so disappointed in myself. But I feel too scared of everything all the time, it takes up all my energy and makes it difficult to take care of myself. 😿

Start with taking care of yourself. Take a deep breath and relax as best you can.

 

One step at a time.

 

One thing at a time.

On 10/1/2022 at 5:01 PM, trystan said:

my realtor will tell me not to worry.... except what shouldn't you tell a worrier not to to? worry. *sigh*

Yup. Me too. 

[trystan]

1 hour ago, PrincessLucy said:

Seems way more complicated than my move, but I was moving into an unoccupied condo and my purchase was not dependent on selling the house.

yep. the house we're moving into is vacant.

but it seems that selling As-Is in my current township just isn't. I do hope we hear something tomorrow though. 

[PrincessLucy]

On 10/3/2022 at 1:23 AM, trystan said:

yep. the house we're moving into is vacant.

but it seems that selling As-Is in my current township just isn't. I do hope we hear something tomorrow though. 

Any updates?

 

 

---------

 

Meanwhile with me...

 

Been in the condo almost 2 months now. 

 

My son an I finally brought the plants over from my mother's house  I drove, he carried. Half of them are still in the kitchen as he had to go to work and pruning them took a while for me to do as I ran out of space to let them drain after pruning and watering. Thank goodness some family members grabbed plants so I didn't get stuck with all of them.

 

I went back there yesterday and finally brought over my life-size cut-out of Rod Stewart, which now stands in front of my game bookcase. It was originally going to go behind my stereo, but the stereo would need to be pulled away from the wall. and I am not physically capable of doing that.

 

As far as projects go, I bought a cute little 6 cube unit, which is lightweight to go in my downstairs closet. It is 23 1/2 inches wide, and my closet is 24 inches, so silly me thought it would fit. I would have to take off the bi-fold doors to get it in there and then put the doors back on (which I can't physically do), but that isn't a good solution, as I would have to do that every time I wanted to clean the closet. Then I figured I would put it in the upstairs closet which has no doors but has wooden shelf brackets so it won't fit without removing them. *sigh* So it is upstairs outside of the cat room so I have more storage for toilet paper, paper towels and trash bags.

 

Since I am still recovering from surgery all the painting projects are still on hold. My bedroom still needs one wall done and a second coat all over. Upstairs bathroom still needs to be scraped on the ceiling around the edges and be painted I still can't get on a step stool.  Downstairs we still have half the dining room painted 1 coat and the rest not touched. The only finished painting is in the cat room and my downstairs bathroom, as I had a cabinet delivered to go behind the toilet and I made my son assemble it and paint the room so I can have something done. I will be making some curtains to go around the sink in there to cover up the pipes, as I don't want to spend the money to put in a vanity in there until next year, and I want a place to store bathroom cleaners, etc out of sight.

 

Family members haven't been asked to help as they are still dealing with finishing up projects at my mother's house before putting it up on the market. Once it is listed, I will ask for help here.

 

Recovery from surgery is taking longer than expected. Wednesday it will be 6 weeks since surgery.  The doctor injected me Thursday below the knee because of my bursitis, so I am dealing with an extremely painful bruise. I am cleared to go back on Monday the 24th with a 20 pound lifting restriction, no climbing/pulling/pushing and no bending/stooping/squatting.   I don't know what that leaves me able to do as I work in a grocery store. I will be unrestricted on Nov 7, which is 2 months before I retire.

[trystan]

1 hour ago, PrincessLucy said:

Any updates?

oh gods, it's been insane! our buyer needs 4 certifications to move in, we've had to pay on getting two of them so far getting them where they should be - new heater pipes and a new sewer.  the final one - the electrical inspection - is in the hands of the township for getting the permit approved.... for work that was done two !@#$%^&* years ago.  yeesh.  i'll be following up with the township about the status shortly.

i've likened this to a hot air balloon with all it's stakes holding down ropes to the ground.  this electrical certification is the last stake holding it down. ugh. 

we move out thursday! 🤯

 

1 hour ago, PrincessLucy said:

Recovery from surgery is taking longer than expected. Wednesday it will be 6 weeks since surgery. [...] I will be unrestricted on Nov 7, which is 2 months before I retire.

wow! all your stuff seems to be going along as well.

i do hope your recovery moves along!! {{hugs}}

[PrincessLucy]

Lol, I got the insurance statement for my surgery.

 

$25,358.50 for surgery

$2,591.63 for anesthesia

 

"My discounts AKA write offs" $21,444.37

Anthem paid $5,709.12

I need to pay $796.64, as I have an out-of-pocket max of $2,500.

 

In addition, they are paying for my physical therapies ($103.07 on the $360 ones and $110.83 on the $420 ones). The rest is write offs.

 

This makes me so mad.

 

What if I had no insurance? They wouldn't give me $20k discount on my surgery. I wouldn't have been able to have surgery.

 

Something is so very wrong here.

 

Anyway, the exciting part is that I can now go to the doctor/hospital every day until the end of December and it will be free. Not that I plan to, but I have a different doctor's appointment tomorrow and my eye doctor in November.

 

[trystan]

2 hours ago, PrincessLucy said:

Something is so very wrong here.

yep, our health system is out of whack, that's for sure.

 

final electrical certification is tomorrow.

movers are coming tomorrow.

cats go to the boarding facitily (Pet Castle Resort) thursday late morning; cleaners are coming in the afternoon; POD gets picked up thursday; we head west thursday.

friday: the selling closing is at 1; the buying closing is at 4:30.  the cats come to us sometime after 7.

saturday morning, the movers will bring our stuff.

wow, that's a LOT.

[trystan]

update! the electrical passed, and we'll have the official certification tomorrow!

 

the movers came today and cleared out 97% of our stuff today. 

 

tomorrow, the cats and us clear out 🤯

[PrincessLucy]

On 10/19/2022 at 9:32 PM, trystan said:

update! the electrical passed, and we'll have the official certification tomorrow!

 

the movers came today and cleared out 97% of our stuff today. 

 

tomorrow, the cats and us clear out 🤯

Yeah!!!

 

-------------

 

Well, yesterday, I decided to cook up 2 small ears of corn and slather them in salt and butter, just the way I like it.

 

Put my plate in the sink and the corn cobs in the trash, put on my oven mitt and took the salmon out of the oven.

 

By the time I turned back around, Charlie (the blind dog) had gone in the can, pulled out a corn cob, dragged it to the front door (5 feet away) and eaten the whole thing.

 

He weighs 17 pounds.

 

$4K and a night in the ER, he is asleep at my feet.

Edited October 25, 2022 by PrincessLucy

[trystan]

oh yikes!!

 

also, we moved!!

we had a last minute hiccup with selling, but we gave them money and they were okay with that (they asked for that)

but we're all moved in, and have made some good headway unpacking!

[MrsRodrigo]

Hello everyone here, this seems like a thread I'd get some use out of so just...introducing my self a bit before I just barrel my way into conversation ❤️

[Aries]

What would you do if your sister turns colder and colder and the family is basically aparted?

I don't care about myself, but it breaks my mother's heart. She is one of those moms who gives everything to her kids. She may not have money for lunch but she will give it all to us.

Influenced by her family, my sister's husband is none like us, ready for sacrifices, working, nice... she started avoiding us, not calling my mother, keeping her kids away from her. That's ungrateful and poor treatment to the woman who raised you, bought a home for you and your lazy husband, organized and payed for your wedding, and more and more...

I can't stand how my sister is acting, I wouldn't look at her, but my mother needs peace of mind. What should I do in this situation? We tried talking, every time ends with yelling. I don't want my mom get sick with worries because of her.