Emotional Support

[Queen Firebreath]

My dad moved out today. My parents have been married for 42 years. They have 5 kids. Myself and my older brother still live at home. We basically have a mini farm with animals and a huge garden. My brother and I pay rent and do tons of work around the house, and since we have about 2 acres of land, we do a lot of yard work, too, but we love living here. We take turns making dinner and doing the chores and we celebrate holidays with my other siblings and their kids. My dad has been the primary wage earner since my mom was 2 weeks overdo with my brother back in 1981. One of his friends who had a nasty divorce and then quickly got married again about 4 years ago convinced him he'd be happier without a wife asking him to do simple things around the house like fix a leaking sink or mow the lawn. The "divorce talk" started during quarantine in 2020 but today he finally made good.  Now we're worried we're going to lose our house, and my mom hasn't had a job since 1981. My brother and I each have good full time paying jobs and it still isn't enough to pay the bills. Kind of stuck right now. My mom won't eat anything and my dad is refusing to talk "until he's ready." Today's just been a crappy day.

[Googs]

I have to end my relationship soon and I am so filled with dread.

 

update: it happened today. The act itself wasn’t quite as bad as I imagined but the guilt is so much worse. I thought that there would be some sense of freedom or relief, but as it turns out… just guilt. 

Edited November 6, 2022 by Googs

[AsymDoll13]

I'm just... I need to vent a moment. 

 

My little brother and his girlfriend broke up in May or June, right? She claims she never said it was a break, but he claims she did. Now she began dating a dude in June, and they married at the end of last month, after she seemingly led my poor little brother on. I know I'm probably biased, but from what I've seen... she lead him on. He lived close to her (like an apartment away) and is now moving all the way to Wisconsin to move in with a friend of his to escape her and her new husband. This girl has a two year old from a previous marriage, and I'm just... concerned for everyone involved. 

 

The new hubby even threatened to call the cops on my brother if he bothered talking to her or whatever. Thing is they were good friends until this dude came into the picture from what I can tell. I don't know. I don't get a good feeling from this relationship she's in, and... I'm worried about my baby brother (okay, he's just turned 28, but she was his first love and everything so I'm allowed). 

 

I just needed a moment to do a vent. Thanks for reading. 

[Awdz]

15 hours ago, AsymDoll13 said:

I'm just... I need to vent a moment. 

 

My little brother and his girlfriend broke up in May or June, right? She claims she never said it was a break, but he claims she did. Now she began dating a dude in June, and they married at the end of last month, after she seemingly led my poor little brother on. I know I'm probably biased, but from what I've seen... she lead him on. He lived close to her (like an apartment away) and is now moving all the way to Wisconsin to move in with a friend of his to escape her and her new husband. This girl has a two year old from a previous marriage, and I'm just... concerned for everyone involved. 

 

The new hubby even threatened to call the cops on my brother if he bothered talking to her or whatever. Thing is they were good friends until this dude came into the picture from what I can tell. I don't know. I don't get a good feeling from this relationship she's in, and... I'm worried about my baby brother (okay, he's just turned 28, but she was his first love and everything so I'm allowed). 

 

I just needed a moment to do a vent. Thanks for reading. 

So sorry for your brother's troubles. His ex getting married after less than half a year of getting involved with someone new does not bode well for that relationship either. Once your brother works through the emotional crash, he may find himself lucky to have dodged worse trouble. I pray that he finds a more fulfilling relationship with someone who will treasure him.

 

Quote

My dad moved out today. My parents have been married for 42 years. They have 5 kids. Myself and my older brother still live at home. We basically have a mini farm with animals and a huge garden. My brother and I pay rent and do tons of work around the house, and since we have about 2 acres of land, we do a lot of yard work, too, but we love living here. We take turns making dinner and doing the chores and we celebrate holidays with my other siblings and their kids. My dad has been the primary wage earner since my mom was 2 weeks overdo with my brother back in 1981. One of his friends who had a nasty divorce and then quickly got married again about 4 years ago convinced him he'd be happier without a wife asking him to do simple things around the house like fix a leaking sink or mow the lawn. The "divorce talk" started during quarantine in 2020 but today he finally made good.  Now we're worried we're going to lose our house, and my mom hasn't had a job since 1981. My brother and I each have good full time paying jobs and it still isn't enough to pay the bills. Kind of stuck right now. My mom won't eat anything and my dad is refusing to talk "until he's ready." Today's just been a crappy day.

@Queen Firebreath Your dad's departure sounds really awful. 2020 was terrible in many ways, not least of which was the toll it took on so many relationships. I hope your dad realizes quickly just what a treasure he has in you and helps you find stability again. Even if he does not, I pray that you are able to make a better life moving forward.

 

Quote

What would you do if your sister turns colder and colder and the family is basically aparted?

I don't care about myself, but it breaks my mother's heart. She is one of those moms who gives everything to her kids. She may not have money for lunch but she will give it all to us.

Influenced by her family, my sister's husband is none like us, ready for sacrifices, working, nice... she started avoiding us, not calling my mother, keeping her kids away from her. That's ungrateful and poor treatment to the woman who raised you, bought a home for you and your lazy husband, organized and payed for your wedding, and more and more...

I can't stand how my sister is acting, I wouldn't look at her, but my mother needs peace of mind. What should I do in this situation? We tried talking, every time ends with yelling. I don't want my mom get sick with worries because of her.

@Aries_Wild_Child I would want to find out why your sister's behavior changed. Is she seeking her own way (healthy), is she hiding addiction (unhealthy), is the husband involved (concern about abuse), or something else going on? She probably will not open up if challenged/accused about her behavior, but affirmation of who she is might open a window for you to understand better. I pray your family relationships heal in a healthy way, filled with love.

 

Edited November 18, 2022 by Awdz Bodkins

[Elery.]

I cant believe I found this thread just now. This is such a nice idea. I will come here to vent when I feel overwhelmed.

My mom passed away in 2018 from brain cancer and I was her caretaker so I saw her pass in a very difficult way that affected me a lot and still does. Then in 2020 my sister died, also from cancer after I donated stem cells for her treatment. This was too much and it started giving me panic attacks which at the time I didn't know where panic attacks, and ended up going to the ER 3 times thinking I was having heart problems. After many test and a visit to the cardiologist he told me my heart was ok and it must be anxiety. I tried getting better the natural way, but it didn't work so after a long while deciding I went to a psychiatrist and as soon as he heard all my symptoms he told me I had anxiety and depression which was a confirmation of what I already knew. I am now on anxiety medication, I'm allergic to the antidepressant, so gotta fight that on my own, but I'm feeling a bit better and no more panic attacks.

 

What does affect me at times is talking with people that try to shame me for using medication, start fear mongering about the side effects, Also the people that tell me "just go out more, distract yourself" "put more effort" "don't think that way"  " go get a job and you will get better".... I was getting panic attacks while working, so right now I feel pretty useless and all those comments just activate my anxiety, make me cry and make me feel useless. I do take care of my dad and the house, which is a never ending job because it needs a lot of repairs, I do some odd jobs which earn me some income, but just thinking of going to the work force again makes me freak out. I was once called a leech in different terms for not being able to work and being my dad's caretaker, by someone that has never taken care of anyone his entire life. This things set me back a bit even if I don't want to let them affect me, so if you meet someone with anxiety or depression just be understanding and don't judge them because we cant control how we feel. Oh! How I wish I was my "normal" self that had a lot of energy, could work 9 to 5 without problems, could drive long distances without vertigo and could do several tasks one after the other without any fatigue. I also don't enjoy the muscle spasms, headaches, face pain, insomnia and bruxism these conditions cause me.

Thanks for reading all my rant, It always helps some to get things out, going to my psychologist has also helped me.

 

Thanks for this space, I'll come back when I meet another ignorant person that harasses me and tells me Ill just get addicted to my meds(which is impossible cause I also have super bad memory because of the stress and I sometimes forget to take them).

[AsymDoll13]

1 hour ago, Elery. said:

I cant believe I found this thread just now. This is such a nice idea. I will come here to vent when I feel overwhelmed.

My mom passed away in 2018 from brain cancer and I was her caretaker so I saw her pass in a very difficult way that affected me a lot and still does. Then in 2020 my sister died, also from cancer after I donated stem cells for her treatment. This was too much and it started giving me panic attacks which at the time I didn't know where panic attacks, and ended up going to the ER 3 times thinking I was having heart problems. After many test and a visit to the cardiologist he told me my heart was ok and it must be anxiety. I tried getting better the natural way, but it didn't work so after a long while deciding I went to a psychiatrist and as soon as he heard all my symptoms he told me I had anxiety and depression which was a confirmation of what I already knew. I am now on anxiety medication, I'm allergic to the antidepressant, so gotta fight that on my own, but I'm feeling a bit better and no more panic attacks.

 

What does affect me at times is talking with people that try to shame me for using medication, start fear mongering about the side effects, Also the people that tell me "just go out more, distract yourself" "put more effort" "don't think that way"  " go get a job and you will get better".... I was getting panic attacks while working, so right now I feel pretty useless and all those comments just activate my anxiety, make me cry and make me feel useless. I do take care of my dad and the house, which is a never ending job because it needs a lot of repairs, I do some odd jobs which earn me some income, but just thinking of going to the work force again makes me freak out. I was once called a leech in different terms for not being able to work and being my dad's caretaker, by someone that has never taken care of anyone his entire life. This things set me back a bit even if I don't want to let them affect me, so if you meet someone with anxiety or depression just be understanding and don't judge them because we cant control how we feel. Oh! How I wish I was my "normal" self that had a lot of energy, could work 9 to 5 without problems, could drive long distances without vertigo and could do several tasks one after the other without any fatigue. I also don't enjoy the muscle spasms, headaches, face pain, insomnia and bruxism these conditions cause me.

Thanks for reading all my rant, It always helps some to get things out, going to my psychologist has also helped me.

 

Thanks for this space, I'll come back when I meet another ignorant person that harasses me and tells me Ill just get addicted to my meds(which is impossible cause I also have super bad memory because of the stress and I sometimes forget to take them).

 

The medicine will help! My best friend has panic attacks, and it's horrible to watch, but their meds help them. I have anxiety attacks, and it's a lot. But my meds help me as well.  I'm sure they have your best interests at heart, but your health is more important. I'm so sorry for you losses, and I hope you find something that helps. 

[PrincessLucy]

Editing down my long post to the highlights.

 

Ah the joys of home ownership. $2165 for a new water heater in December.

 

My mother's house went up for sale right after Christmas. Got an offer within a couple of days, with a "need to know within 24 hours" kind of thing. This was even before the open house, but it was the only offer. We got asking price, and radon test, inspection and home appraisal went well. The appraisal was the thing that made me nervous, as they are putting $25k down and financing over $334k. It is a young couple getting married in May.

 

 

My niece had a baby. Mama, papa and baby are doing well and I got to be the first one to call my sister Grandma.

 

I turned 62 in December and retired yesterday.

 

The closing for the sale of my mother's house is Feb 3, so I have to come up with over $2700 for taxes to avoid penalties, and get most of it back at closing.

 

How is the new place? @trystan

Edited January 22, 2023 by PrincessLucy

[trystan]

wow, that sounds like a whirlwind of everything! our new sewer pipes we needed to put in to sell the old house was something like $12,000!

 

On 12/16/2022 at 7:53 AM, PrincessLucy said:

How is the new place? @trystan

it's going pretty well, actually!  we kind of have an idea of how much utilities will be costing, it's the gas bill that's the expensive one right now.  that'll fluctuate, of course, based on heater and a/c use.  (well, that's the second expensive bill.  the highest one is paying back the financing for said new sewer pipes above^

 

yaay for you retiring!  i'll be able to do that..... eventually now, instead of never  

[TaikoYon]

Hi, I'm having a bit of a crisis.

So my mother (who traumatized me, I live with my dad,) is planning to visit me this next week. She apparently wants to surprise me by bringing me a Shiba Inu puppy. 

I'm NOT a dog person, and I don't want to take anything from my mom. I have a hard time taking care of myself and I also have a cat on top of that.

My mom does not know that I already know, my dad showed me her texts. He's also as confused as I am.

I can't really turn the puppy down since my mom has a bipolar disorder and will not take no for an answer.

 

I know this crisis sounds stupid but I'm stressed and confused.

 

I don't really know what to do. My dad hates dogs but will be willing to let me have the puppy if I chose to take it. 

[Long_Before_Sunrise]

Little stuff can be as stressful as true emergencies, especially if you're anxiety prone. 

 

I have real doubts about taking the puppy. They're a lot of work and you are in school, right? It needs lots of attention, exercise, and potty breaks throughout the day as a pup. It can't hold it until someone gets home. 

It might help you feel better around dogs, but it's really unfair to the puppy if no one is looking after it through the day. It won't get properly housebroken and it'll chew whatever it can reach (assuming it is a puppy like she says it is.) It's basically like a human baby. You can't leave it alone at home all day, unsupervised.

If you need good reasons to say no to a puppy, I've got lots and Lagie does, too. Lagie works at an animal shelter. She knows the reasons why dogs wind up there. 

It's not a nice gift for your mother to drop on you. She might think she's helping you learn to like dogs, but if you have come home to clean up puppy poo and pee every day first thing when you get home... that's enough to make most people resent having a dog even if they like dogs.

And if your cat fears it, too, that's an problem on top of another problem.

Edited January 28, 2023 by Long_Before_Sunrise

[Fuzzbucket]

I have a bipolar relative.

 

You do NOT have to accept the puppy just because she is bipolar. You can't cope with it, and that's a perfectly good reason - so is simply "I don't want it." . She won't take no for an answer - so what. Worst case scenario you take it straight to a shelter - even take her with you to see it happen. At least make very sure she knows it is going. Being bipolar is not an excuse to act like a jerk.

 

Would your father tell her not to bring it ? She did text him.... He WILL back you when you refuse to take it, I hope ?

 

Stand your ground.

[Aries]

16 hours ago, Long_Before_Sunrise said:

Little stuff can be as stressful as true emergencies, especially if you're anxiety prone. 

 

I have real doubts about taking the puppy. They're a lot of work and you are in school, right? It needs lots of attention, exercise, and potty breaks throughout the day as a pup. It can't hold it until someone gets home. 

It might help you feel better around dogs, but it's really unfair to the puppy if no one is looking after it through the day. It won't get properly housebroken and it'll chew whatever it can reach (assuming it is a puppy like she says it is.) It's basically like a human baby. You can't leave it alone at home all day, unsupervised.

If you need good reasons to say no to a puppy, I've got lots and Lagie does, too. Lagie works at an animal shelter. She knows the reasons why dogs wind up there. 

It's not a nice gift for your mother to drop on you. She might think she's helping you learn to like dogs, but if you have come home to clean up puppy poo and pee every day first thing when you get home... that's enough to make most people resent having a dog even if they like dogs.

And if your cat fears it, too, that's an problem on top of another problem.

 

 

Think about the puppy. Most animals, if they are not pure breed, spend their entire life at street, hunted, beaten, starving, sometimes eaten. Being in shelter is like being in prison,nobody hugs them, loves them, they only feed them and euthanize them. Giving a chance to one such puppy will change it's life forever.

Yours too, of course. In good aspect. Well you will need to clean after it, walk it, feed it, but no human will jump for joy seeing you coming home after work. No human will forgive you the knife in the back, the less attention when you are busy or bored, only dog will.

 

Actually, human don't choose their dog, it chooses them.

[Fuzzbucket]

@Aries_Wild_Child this is someone who has already given a home to a cat; someone who lives with a parent who doesn't like dogs and who doesn't like them either.  There is no good reason to force someone to take in a dog, and maybe they wouldn't like one to jump for joy seeing them - as my children used to and they were, as far as I know, humans. Someone whose mother is trying to force something on them that they do not want, and using the fact that she's bipolar to "refuse to take no for an answer."

 

It's not OK to try and guilt someone into taking in a dog their mother is trying to force upon them. Think of the dog and let it go somewhere that it is actually wanted. No-one should take in a dog because someone else forces them to do so. If someone doesn't want a dog - that's the end of it. The puppy goes elsewhere. (To you, if you are that keen.)

[Aries]

44 minutes ago, Fuzzbucket said:

@Aries_Wild_Child this is someone who has already given a home to a cat; someone who lives with a parent who doesn't like dogs and who doesn't like them either.  There is no good reason to force someone to take in a dog, and maybe they wouldn't like one to jump for joy seeing them - as my children used to and they were, as far as I know, humans. Someone whose mother is trying to force something on them that they do not want, and using the fact that she's bipolar to "refuse to take no for an answer."

 

It's not OK to try and guilt someone into taking in a dog their mother is trying to force upon them. Think of the dog and let it go somewhere that it is actually wanted. No-one should take in a dog because someone else forces them to do so. If someone doesn't want a dog - that's the end of it. The puppy goes elsewhere. (To you, if you are that keen.)

I never said she had. I'm not either forcing someone, just sharing another point of view.

I don't know a sane person who doesn't like dogs, animals in general. They are much better than most of the people, and what I listed is true - they don't call dog human's best friend for nothing.

 

If the person lives with their parents, it's the right of the parents to decide, good or not. It's always been like this, their home, their rules. Having an animal isn't such a bad thing like making you not seeing your friends or cut your hair or wearing boring clothes. Or god help me beating them and molesting them. Just saying.

 

What is this discussion for if it's already decided, anyway?

 

 

Edited January 28, 2023 by Aries_Wild_Child

[HeatherMarie]

Hi, I'm not around here as much anymore but I really just need to get this out. 

 

My mom is having knee surgery Feb 1st. ... Another surgery, another full knee replacement. .... By the same surgeon who did the previous knee replacement in 2021 that has made things much *worse* than it was before the surgery. Before that surgery she was using a walker most of the time and had trouble stepping up curbs and such, and her knees would sometimes buckle so there was risk of falls... But after the surgery, despite plenty of physical therapy, it only went downhill. Mom can no longer use a walker at all, can't walk at all, can only stand and semi-turn well enough to get into and out of the wheelchair she now uses. 

 

Mom and I have talked extensively about the pros and cons of another surgery, in fact despite it being scheduled for Feb 1st it was only last week that we really made the decision to go through with it. I'm absolutely freaked out about it all, and I know mom is worried about how I'll deal with it, although I try to get her to focus on herself and what she needs instead of worrying about me. Last time mom had this surgery she stayed in the hospital longer than expected, then went to rehab and stayed there longer than expected, I believe she was gone almost a full month. The last 5 days of which I spent at an inpatient mental hospital after finally not being able to deal with it anymore. 

(Also, despite the circumstances that was the best most helpful stay at a mental hospital I've ever experienced, but I know that I most likely wouldn't be able to go there again if things got to that point again (I was only sent there, in a different city, because the small inpatient here was completely full) and that scares me even more because I've been to the place here multiple times and it *sucks*.)

 

My anxiety hasn't increased *too* much yet, but I know how horrible and scary it can be in this situation. There are so many risks involved with major surgery to begin with, but with all the other medical issues mom has it's way more risky (she's not even allowed to have surgery without taking a special 5-day medication that temporarily boosts her blood platelets so the surgery *can* be done, but even then her platelet count is still lower than normal). I keep thinking 'as long as mom makes it out of the surgery okay then I can deal', and I want to believe that, but... Being alone is really hard, being away from her is hard. 

[Fuzzbucket]

16 hours ago, Aries_Wild_Child said:

I never said she had. I'm not either forcing someone, just sharing another point of view.

I don't know a sane person who doesn't like dogs, animals in general. They are much better than most of the people, and what I listed is true - they don't call dog human's best friend for nothing.

 

If the person lives with their parents, it's the right of the parents to decide, good or not. It's always been like this, their home, their rules. Having an animal isn't such a bad thing like making you not seeing your friends or cut your hair or wearing boring clothes. Or god help me beating them and molesting them. Just saying.

 

One (non-resident) parent is trying to guilt the other into making TaikoYon accept a puppy she doesn't want AT ALL, on the grounds that she's bipolar and will not accept no as an answer.

 

16 hours ago, Aries_Wild_Child said:

What is this discussion for if it's already decided, anyway?

 

It isn't - because TaikoYon is feeling that she may have to accept the puppy, and is in effect asking us all for support in saying no.

 

And thank you for suggesting that all of us (including me) are insane for not liking dogs. I can't stand them. So sue me.

Edited January 29, 2023 by Fuzzbucket

[GhostMouse]

TaikoYon, if you don't feel you can say no directly, it is okay to take the puppy and then take it to a shelter. Puppies are usually adopted quickly and Shibas are a popular breed. Ideally, you should be able to just say no to taking the puppy, but I also have a family member with bipolar, so I understand saying no might be difficult.

Please don't let anyone guilt you into keeping a pet you didn't want. Dogs are so much work and it's better for the puppy to go to a shelter for a short time to find someone invested in it than to keep it where it isn't wanted. I say this as a total dog/cat/all animals person, too. Pets aren't gifts. I have dogs and cats and I would be super stressed if someone decided to just dump another animal on me.

 

HeatherMarie, that sounds super stressful, I'm sorry you're going through that.

[Long_Before_Sunrise]

17 hours ago, HeatherMarie said:

Hi, I'm not around here as much anymore but I really just need to get this out. 

You have my sympathy, HeatherMarie. Sounds like you're having a really tough time. I know how it feels to feel like you're alone and have no one and desperately anxious.  I won't give you advice on dealing with anxiety. I know at that level it's something you either have your own ways to cope with or you need help from experts. You're stronger than you feel, because you've gone through this before and survived. Most people can't even imagine, because it's so far out of their range of experience...

 

 

[AbrelBeta]

*Warning: death, stress, physical/mental illness*

 

To be honest, I really don't know how to do it. I tried everything to make myself look optimistic and upward, to be a lovely girl in the prime of youth. But in fact, I am under great pressure.

I am afraid that I may have stomach cancer or heart disease. The pain has tortured me for many years, but I have never been allowed to treat them. Everyone said that I just think too much. I am so young that I cannot have any problems, even if I fall in front of them because of the pain.

I know that I may be powerless to my body, so I try to make myself optimistic and open to an imperfect self and life. But I was wrong again. I was under terrible learning pressure and domestic violence. Everything I did was almost to escape the current situation, so I worked hard to learn. But because of my mental illness and physical condition, it became more and more difficult. I know I'm no longer the genius when I was a child.

I have created a lot of things and loved them with all my heart. They have become the backbone of my life, but also my biggest weakness. My mental illness has led to hallucinations. I have been fighting with those non-existent monsters endlessly. Until now, I am no longer afraid of them. hallucinations and pressure can not kill me, because I know I am stronger than them. But.. If it is sudden death? Cancer? Or any force majeure that I can never resist? I'm afraid of death. I'm afraid that everything I love will disappear after I die. I can't give them to others. If death suddenly comes, I may not have the opportunity to entrust everything I love to others.

I really hope that I can live an ordinary life like other 16-year-old girls. They only need to worry about learning, feelings and appearance. But I am worried about my own death, and I have to worry about it. 。_。

 

Edit: I have tried medication, psychotherapy and legal aid. The doctor told me that I have depression, possibly schizophrenia or paranoia. Most of the time I am a normal ordinary person, but it is like an untimely bomb. I don't know when it will lead to despair, confusion, panic attacks, and sleep disorders. This has greatly affected my study and work efficiency, but in fact, I can overcome these difficulties! I said that I am stronger than them, but no matter how strong I am, the pain is still so painful that I am not recognized or even humiliated by my family.. 。_。

*Edit(2): I got sick because of the dirty water, and I felt so bad, but my family refuted all my feelings. Now I lie in bed and try to suppress this discomfort. I don't know what it is, like blood flowing out of my nose and mouth, or just because I am out of mind. I will go to school soon, and then I can't go home for several days. I'm afraid.

Edit(3): I love my kitten. He is always patient with me and loves me in his own way.

 

And, give everyone a hug and hope that your life will be better and better and you will be happier and happier.

Edited January 31, 2023 by AbrelBeta
X_X

[Aries]

On 1/29/2023 at 1:50 AM, Fuzzbucket said:

 

One (non-resident) parent is trying to guilt the other into making TaikoYon accept a puppy she doesn't want AT ALL, on the grounds that she's bipolar and will not accept no as an answer.

 

 

It isn't - because TaikoYon is feeling that she may have to accept the puppy, and is in effect asking us all for support in saying no.

 

And thank you for suggesting that all of us (including me) are insane for not liking dogs. I can't stand them. So sue me.

Well I see in a few topics you are tying to stat an argument. I refuse being involved.

I understand the problem of the author but we all have problems with parents, all had. About being insane...

 

Put a kid into a room with animals. Little kid. With dogs, cats, chickens, whatever you like. Kids are pure and would love to connect and play with animals. There are cases wild animals rescued lost kids and saving them, wolves including.

Later, parents teach those kids to hate animals, to shoo them away, to abandon them, to kill them and eat them. There is no kid in the world, sane kid, who will go and kick the cat instead of pet it or tie the dog to his car and drag it around instead feed it and take it home. Hatred is thought.

 

There was one very good line by someone which name I don't recall: I don't trust people who doesn't like dogs, but I very much trust dogs who doesn't like people.

Once again, I try to avoid this conversation for days just not to turn it into ugly story. You are trying to drag me back into it. I refuse playing in your games. You can rant about it, I don't care.

 

But hey, one of the greatest names in history loved dogs, Plato, Aristotle, DaVinci, Einstein, Gandhi, Mark Twain, Lincoln, Ozzy... How the greatest minds of mankind could be wrong? 😉

On 1/30/2023 at 11:02 PM, AbrelBeta said:

*Warning: death, stress, physical/mental illness*

 

To be honest, I really don't know how to do it. I tried everything to make myself look optimistic and upward, to be a lovely girl in the prime of youth. But in fact, I am under great pressure.

I am afraid that I may have stomach cancer or heart disease. The pain has tortured me for many years, but I have never been allowed to treat them. Everyone said that I just think too much. I am so young that I cannot have any problems, even if I fall in front of them because of the pain.

I know that I may be powerless to my body, so I try to make myself optimistic and open to an imperfect self and life. But I was wrong again. I was under terrible learning pressure and domestic violence. Everything I did was almost to escape the current situation, so I worked hard to learn. But because of my mental illness and physical condition, it became more and more difficult. I know I'm no longer the genius when I was a child.

I have created a lot of things and loved them with all my heart. They have become the backbone of my life, but also my biggest weakness. My mental illness has led to hallucinations. I have been fighting with those non-existent monsters endlessly. Until now, I am no longer afraid of them. hallucinations and pressure can not kill me, because I know I am stronger than them. But.. If it is sudden death? Cancer? Or any force majeure that I can never resist? I'm afraid of death. I'm afraid that everything I love will disappear after I die. I can't give them to others. If death suddenly comes, I may not have the opportunity to entrust everything I love to others.

I really hope that I can live an ordinary life like other 16-year-old girls. They only need to worry about learning, feelings and appearance. But I am worried about my own death, and I have to worry about it. 。_。

 

Edit: I have tried medication, psychotherapy and legal aid. The doctor told me that I have depression, possibly schizophrenia or paranoia. Most of the time I am a normal ordinary person, but it is like an untimely bomb. I don't know when it will lead to despair, confusion, panic attacks, and sleep disorders. This has greatly affected my study and work efficiency, but in fact, I can overcome these difficulties! I said that I am stronger than them, but no matter how strong I am, the pain is still so painful that I am not recognized or even humiliated by my family.. 。_。

*Edit(2): I got sick because of the dirty water, and I felt so bad, but my family refuted all my feelings. Now I lie in bed and try to suppress this discomfort. I don't know what it is, like blood flowing out of my nose and mouth, or just because I am out of mind. I will go to school soon, and then I can't go home for several days. I'm afraid.

Edit(3): I love my kitten. He is always patient with me and loves me in his own way.

 

And, give everyone a hug and hope that your life will be better and better and you will be happier and happier.

Physical pain could be reflection of mental status.  Irregular eating and not sleeping at night could cause many body problems. Fear of it only makes it worst.

Fact you realize you have a problem and want to fight it is a good sign, there are people who live without knowing it.

Death happens to everyone, it's nothing to be afraid of. We never know what time is given to us, it happens eventually. 

 

 

First of all, you need change, No huge change, just daily small things that would make you feel better. There are apps, taking notes, making small things to make you feel better. Like buying yourself your favorite cappuccino or walking at the park. I know it seems trivial but small things make the big change. Happiness comes from you, not from outside.

Second thing is to change your environment, the place you live, the company. Get rid of the oppressors, you will notice the change at once. One person poisoning your life is enough to ruin it, get rid of him.

Different place change things. You can try traveling, if not other country go to another city. Do things for yourself, things you like and are important just for you, not your parents or friends. Like, adopt a pet or try gardening, gardening is relaxing because you are in nature. Try painting. Have a journal and let those thought out, you can throw it away after that, just get them out, stop keeping them inside.

Listen to music or watch inspiring videos. 

 

One little change won't fix everything but will makes you feel one idea better.

Edited February 3, 2023 by LadyLyzar
Removed medical advice.

[TaikoYon]

9 minutes ago, Aries_Wild_Child said:

Well I see in a few topics you are tying to stat an argument. I refuse being involved.

I understand the problem of the author but we all have problems with parents, all had. About being insane...

 

Put a kid into a room with animals. Little kid. With dogs, cats, chickens, whatever you like. Kids are pure and would love to connect and play with animals. There are cases wild animals rescued lost kids and saving them, wolves including.

Later, parents teach those kids to hate animals, to shoo them away, to abandon them, to kill them and eat them. There is no kid in the world, sane kid, who will go and kick the cat instead of pet it or tie the dog to his car and drag it around instead feed it and take it home. Hatred is thought.

 

There was one very good line by someone which name I don't recall: I don't trust people who doesn't like dogs, but I very much trust dogs who doesn't like people.

Once again, I try to avoid this conversation for days just not to turn it into ugly story. You are trying to drag me back into it. I refuse playing in your games. You can rant about it, I don't care.

 

But hey, one of the greatest names in history loved dogs, Plato, Aristotle, DaVinci, Einstein, Gandhi, Mark Twain, Lincoln, Ozzy... How the greatest minds of mankind could be wrong? 😉

 

I was attacked by a freaking pitbull when I was a kid, I know that not all dogs are bad but my fear and dislike is at least reasonable.

I honestly don't care if you don't trust me. I'm not an abuser, I'm not gonna reject the dog and then kick it like a psychopath. Worst case scenario, it goes to the nearby shelter.
Our shelter is very kind and don't just keep the animals in cages, they all have special rooms.

Thank you to this thread for making me realize that I should stand my ground
My mother is coming this weekend, I'll tell you guys all how it goes...

[Aries]

1 minute ago, TaikoYon said:

 

I was attacked by a freaking pitbull when I was a kid, I know that not all dogs are bad but my fear and dislike is at least reasonable.

I honestly don't care if you don't trust me. I'm not an abuser, I'm not gonna reject the dog and then kick it like a psychopath. Worst case scenario, it goes to the nearby shelter.
Our shelter is very kind and don't just keep the animals in cages, they all have special rooms.

Thank you to this thread for making me realize that I should stand my ground
My mother is coming this weekend, I'll tell you guys all how it goes...

My mother was attacked by a huge wolf alike dog as a kid and later by a rottweiler. She was scared even from small dogs. I trust you and I'm not judging, I'm trying to help. Not maiking it on average way doesn't mean I'm against you.But hating the entire specie because one bad trained dog attacked you isn't reasonable. Maybe your mother is trying to help you overcome the fear by giving you another nice dog.

Right now my mother lives alone with a huge half wolf. She loves it as a child and says she can't imagine her life without it.

 

You should stand your ground for sure and learn not to be ashamed of saying "no". If you don't want the dog it's ok, You should go and say it out loud and not feeling bad about it. Just avoiding the problem won't solve it. There are not bad dogs, just bad owners.

[AbrelBeta]

28 minutes ago, Aries_Wild_Child said:

Well I see in a few topics you are tying to stat an argument. I refuse being involved.

I understand the problem of the author but we all have problems with parents, all had. About being insane...

 

Put a kid into a room with animals. Little kid. With dogs, cats, chickens, whatever you like. Kids are pure and would love to connect and play with animals. There are cases wild animals rescued lost kids and saving them, wolves including.

Later, parents teach those kids to hate animals, to shoo them away, to abandon them, to kill them and eat them. There is no kid in the world, sane kid, who will go and kick the cat instead of pet it or tie the dog to his car and drag it around instead feed it and take it home. Hatred is thought.

 

There was one very good line by someone which name I don't recall: I don't trust people who doesn't like dogs, but I very much trust dogs who doesn't like people.

Once again, I try to avoid this conversation for days just not to turn it into ugly story. You are trying to drag me back into it. I refuse playing in your games. You can rant about it, I don't care.

 

But hey, one of the greatest names in history loved dogs, Plato, Aristotle, DaVinci, Einstein, Gandhi, Mark Twain, Lincoln, Ozzy... How the greatest minds of mankind could be wrong? 😉

Physical pain could be reflection of mental status.  Irregular eating and not sleeping at night could cause many body problems. Fear of it only makes it worst.

Fact you realize you have a problem and want to fight it is a good sign, there are people who live without knowing it.

Death happens to everyone, it's nothing to be afraid of. We never know what time is given to us, it happens eventually. The thoughts of illness and dying will ruin your life, you need to get rid of them.

 

 

First of all, you need change, No huge change, just daily small things that would make you feel better. There are apps, taking notes, making small things to make you feel better. Like buying yourself your favorite cappuccino or walking at the park. I know it seems trivial but small things make the big change. Happiness comes from you, not from outside.

Second thing is to change your environment, the place you live, the company. Get rid of the oppressors, you will notice the change at once. One person poisoning your life is enough to ruin it, get rid of him.

Different place change things. You can try traveling, if not other country go to another city. Do things for yourself, things you like and are important just for you, not your parents or friends. Like, adopt a pet or try gardening, gardening is relaxing because you are in nature. Try painting. Have a journal and let those thought out, you can throw it away after that, just get them out, stop keeping them inside.

Listen to music or watch inspiring videos. And be sure pills won't save you, even more, most of the antidepressants are ruining heart. If you need medication try homeopathy or herbs.

 

One little change won't fix everything but will makes you feel one idea better.

Thank you. I try my best to improve my sleep, and I really like creation and painting. Now I live with my cats. If my family doesn't persecute me, I think I will have a good time.

The place where I live is really depressing. Because I am a girl, many people talk about letting me marry early, or how much money to buy me. There is no park here, and there is no place to relax, so I spend most of my time in my room and don't want to go out, because my family always pick out some thorns to trouble me. Some rude and unreasonable guests will come to my house to eat up what originally belongs to me and discuss how to kill my cats.

I know how I became like this. I don't want anything now. My only wish is to spend the two years with my cats safely, and then go to college and stay away from my home. 。_。

 

Edit: I am very grateful to my friends. In fact, socializing and discussing things you like with like-minded people are good ways to relax. I just began to realize how painful it would be when I came back to reality, and I was afraid of being considered as "Internet addiction" by my family.

Edited January 31, 2023 by AbrelBeta

[Aries]

19 minutes ago, AbrelBeta said:

Thank you. I try my best to improve my sleep, and I really like creation and painting. Now I live with my cats. If my family doesn't persecute me, I think I will have a good time.

The place where I live is really depressing. Because I am a girl, many people talk about letting me marry early, or how much money to buy me. There is no park here, and there is no place to relax, so I spend most of my time in my room and don't want to go out, because my family always pick out some thorns to trouble me. Some rude and unreasonable guests will come to my house to eat up what originally belongs to me and discuss how to kill my cats.

I know how I became like this. I don't want anything now. My only wish is to spend the two years with my cats safely, and then go to college and stay away from my home. 。_。

 

Edit: I am very grateful to my friends. In fact, socializing and discussing things you like with like-minded people are good ways to relax. I just began to realize how painful it would be when I came back to reality, and I was afraid of being considered as "Internet addiction" by my family.

Well that's a mistake. I spent three days inside because of the bad weather and went crazy. It's comfy inside the shell but no change came from the zone of comfort. Challenge yourself. Do something new. Go to a cafe or bar, or gallery, or a concert, not to meet people, to feel better for yourself. Stop depending on people, they enjoy your suffering.

Your house is yours, your rules or they are out. If you don't smoke or want shoes off, they should respect that or not enter at all. It's not selfish, it's a way to cherish yourself more than others. You should respect others but not being their victim and let them climb on your head.

 

Cats actually improve lifetime. If you are sick they know, their purring makes you calm and relaxing. Sadly I am allergic to cats but despite that I adopted a kitten smashed by car years ago. It dragged it's broken legs through the road to reach me, was dirty as **** and with broken ribs internal parasites and sick eyes. It grew and became an awesome house queen cat. Dissapear when I was in college. Still miss it, gorgeous little troublemaker

Once you get out of the snake pit you will see a change. Maybe not the golden mean but it will be better than before. Every change to better is hard, but it's worth it.

[AsymDoll13]

59 minutes ago, TaikoYon said:

 

I was attacked by a freaking pitbull when I was a kid, I know that not all dogs are bad but my fear and dislike is at least reasonable.

I honestly don't care if you don't trust me. I'm not an abuser, I'm not gonna reject the dog and then kick it like a psychopath. Worst case scenario, it goes to the nearby shelter.
Our shelter is very kind and don't just keep the animals in cages, they all have special rooms.

Thank you to this thread for making me realize that I should stand my ground
My mother is coming this weekend, I'll tell you guys all how it goes...

 

My best friend is bipolar, and she's on medication to help with that. Is your mother on medication? It's a personal question, but with the right meds, it can be managed. 

 

I'm very sorry about your being attacked by a dog as a child, and your fear and dislike is justified. Whatever you do, you've got this! The puppy deserves a home in a place that the people aren't afraid of it. It'll need somewhere to play and so on, and if you're unable to provide that, that's okay. No need to beat yourself up. Stand your ground, and just know that I've got your back here! ^^