Emotional Support

[LadyNightshade]

Here's my little "off the chest" needed moment.

 

I started my week off finding out my dog's father passed away this weekend at work. He was 13 so he had a nice good run but it was still upsetting for me. I wish I had gotten to see him one last time before he went but I'm glad he didn't have to suffer. (Since last week when we ran an iSTAT on him, the results showed his liver wasn't doing too hot).

 

 

I've been working at this place for three summers and two winters now and I've seen a lot of animals pass but this is the first one that I actually really knew so I guess that's what got me.

 

 

Anyway, that's my little ramble for the moment.

[georgexu94]

Time to complain now..

 

I feel bad when people always assume that I am going to say something and reprimand me for it even if I just start with a single or two words that has nothing to do with that bad thing they think I'm going to say. Example is when my family are in prayer, I was leading the prayer and I started my sentence with 'although'. My mom butted in and scolded me by saying I shouldn't always complain and be thankful. To get things straight I seldom complain. I only complain when the thing in question is highly tasking and heavy and very unjust. And I mostly do my complaining in myself alone or into writing. Anyway, I find it rude for people to assume something bad when they even didn't hear the whole part and I also find it rude when people but in. People never really listen!

[Obscure_Trash]

Hi all.... I just need a hug today. Woke up late, only been awake for about two hours, and have already had episode of pure panic... I don't feel like going into the details but it had to do with my contamination fears and, well, I'm still feeling a little panicky (although I'm calming down now) and the great mood I was in when I woke up is gone. I can't even go to the store to get chocolate or ice-cream or something to calm down/cheer up because I need to do laundry first.

*HUGGLES* gif: http://media.tumblr.com/c40fb02b08f1592529...UTeN1rekiz1.gif

 

Here's my little "off the chest" needed moment.

 

I started my week off finding out my dog's father passed away this weekend at work. He was 13 so he had a nice good run but it was still upsetting for me. I wish I had gotten to see him one last time before he went but I'm glad he didn't have to suffer. (Since last week when we ran an iSTAT on him, the results showed his liver wasn't doing too hot).

 

 

I've been working at this place for three summers and two winters now and I've seen a lot of animals pass but this is the first one that I actually really knew so I guess that's what got me.

 

 

Anyway, that's my little ramble for the moment.

 

Aww. 3= *pat pat* gif: http://data1.whicdn.com/images/23022726/large.gif Losing animals is always hard. Not a good way to start the week off!

 

Time to complain now..

 

I feel bad when people always assume that I am going to say something and reprimand me for it even if I just start with a single or two words that has nothing to do with that bad thing they think I'm going to say. Example is when my family are in prayer, I was leading the prayer and I started my sentence with 'although'. My mom butted in and scolded me by saying I shouldn't always complain and be thankful. To get things straight I seldom complain. I only complain when the thing in question is highly tasking and heavy and very unjust. And I mostly do my complaining in myself alone or into writing. Anyway, I find it rude for people to assume something bad when they even didn't hear the whole part and I also find it rude when people but in. People never really listen!

 

You know what they say about assuming! That is annoying when people cut you off without hearing you out like that. gif: http://cutestuff.co/wp-content/uploads/201...ny-snuggles.gif

[Fightandspawn]

I hope everyone feels better! *leaves bonbons*

[Slater_C]

Things are just...really tough right now and money is tight. Whole lot of health issues going on for myself, family members, and even the poor pets! ;____;

 

I try to stay positive of course (though having anxiety doesn't help haha) and I know things will look up eventually, but gosh - sometimes it's like that saying "when it rains it pours"! One thing after another OTL

 

I already feel better by being able to type this out though, and just want to offer hugs and much love and well wishes for those above my post <3333

 

 

[Tazzay]

Hugs to everyone else in this thread, I know we all need a hug and perhaps a mug of hot chocolate every now and then c:

 

My mother came around today for a visit, and to drop off a few things for me. While she was here, we searched around the internet until we found a diagnosis. Every symptom I have matches up to it perfectly - Magnesium deficiency. It didn't show up in any blood tests because apparently on 1% of the body's magnesium is stored in the blood.

 

I honestly don't know how I got this deficiency, I have a good diet, drink lots of water, and only very rarely eat junk food (takeout, lollies/candy, sodas etc), but i'm happy because I at least have a diagnosis for my illness. I'll have to get myself some magnesium tablets tomorrow so I can get better and go about life normally again.

 

That, and i'm looking forward to a nice homemade seafood pizza

[MoonShark]

@Sock, thank you for the gif, it made me feel so much better. <3

 

*hugs everyone tightly*

 

  Hugs to everyone else in this thread, I know we all need a hug and perhaps a mug of hot chocolate every now and then c:

 

My mother came around today for a visit, and to drop off a few things for me. While she was here, we searched around the internet until we found a diagnosis. Every symptom I have matches up to it perfectly - Magnesium deficiency. It didn't show up in any blood tests because apparently on 1% of the body's magnesium is stored in the blood.

 

I honestly don't know how I got this deficiency, I have a good diet, drink lots of water, and only very rarely eat junk food (takeout, lollies/candy, sodas etc), but i'm happy because I at least have a diagnosis for my illness. I'll have to get myself some magnesium tablets tomorrow so I can get better and go about life normally again.

 

That, and i'm looking forward to a nice homemade seafood pizza

 

Sweetheart, have you spoken to your doctor about this? I don't know what sort of symptoms these are but I think it would be good to discuss this with your doctor, at least so you know how much magnesium to take for your age and weight (not everyone needs the same amount and some supplements can be harmful if you take too much.)

 

I hope you start feeling better soon. Enjoy that pizza, it sounds amazing!

 

 

  Things are just...really tough right now and money is tight. Whole lot of health issues going on for myself, family members, and even the poor pets! ;____;

 

I try to stay positive of course (though having anxiety doesn't help haha) and I know things will look up eventually, but gosh - sometimes it's like that saying "when it rains it pours"! One thing after another OTL

 

I already feel better by being able to type this out though, and just want to offer hugs and much love and well wishes for those above my post <3333

 

Bad things always seem to happen around the same time. I'm sorry so much has gotten dumped on you right now... Staying positive is a good thing. *hugs and offers chocolate* Good luck and I hope things take a turn for the better soon. <3

[YanaAlYanas]

I am in need of some emotional support and advice

 

In the past I was in a rocky relationship that started online and then we decided to meet. After he asked my family and I if we could get married. However when we asked him if we could meet his family he started changing. He made excuses. Anyway what happened was I started a diary online where I would take out all the pain and what happened was the guy figured out my password and url to it. He shared it with my friends in hopes to help me. However I did not realize that at the beginning so when my friends read the stuff I wrote about him on there he started getting really aggressive towards me and basically would almost purposely try to hurt me emotionally. Eventually I ended up finding out because the people around me started giving me clues that connected to my diary. He would look for me wherever I was online and he would get his friends to steal my attention away from anyone else who could. Anyway what has happened now is that my friends have left because I am still in touch with this guy and MANY people are trying to give me lessons on life. They believe that I don't know my true self when I was just venting inside a diary online. They teamed up to find me a man who would steal my attention away and "help" me. Give me love but never actually love me. And whenever I mention anything now I am playing victim. Everyone has left my side besides the man who started this whole thing. I don't want to go back but sometimes it gets so depressing and lonesome. For no one else is there for me. They just say good luck and leave.

[Obscure_Trash]

Things are just...really tough right now and money is tight. Whole lot of health issues going on for myself, family members, and even the poor pets! ;____;

 

I try to stay positive of course (though having anxiety doesn't help haha) and I know things will look up eventually, but gosh - sometimes it's like that saying "when it rains it pours"! One thing after another OTL

 

I already feel better by being able to type this out though, and just want to offer hugs and much love and well wishes for those above my post <3333

gif: http://media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ljqyq736051qf926t.gif

 

That sucks! Everyone deserves at least a few minutes to rant. It can feel good to get it off your chest. <3

 

My mother came around today for a visit, and to drop off a few things for me. While she was here, we searched around the internet until we found a diagnosis. Every symptom I have matches up to it perfectly - Magnesium deficiency. It didn't show up in any blood tests because apparently on 1% of the body's magnesium is stored in the blood.

 

I honestly don't know how I got this deficiency, I have a good diet, drink lots of water, and only very rarely eat junk food (takeout, lollies/candy, sodas etc), but i'm happy because I at least have a diagnosis for my illness. I'll have to get myself some magnesium tablets tomorrow so I can get better and go about life normally again.

 

That, and i'm looking forward to a nice homemade seafood pizza

 

Whoo, I'm glad you figured it out! I hope you talk this over with some kind of professional and figure out a good plan of attack. o3o

 

@Sock, thank you for the gif, it made me feel so much better. <3

 

I'm glad and I hope you're even better today. <3 gif: http://25.media.tumblr.com/53f4b43c9f716a6...jptrbo1_500.gif

 

I am in need of some emotional support and advice

 

In the past I was in a rocky relationship that started online and then we decided to meet. After he asked my family and I if we could get married. However when we asked him if we could meet his family he started changing. He made excuses. Anyway what happened was I started a diary online where I would take out all the pain and what happened was the guy figured out my password and url to it. He shared it with my friends in hopes to help me. However I did not realize that at the beginning so when my friends read the stuff I wrote about him on there he started getting really aggressive towards me and basically would almost purposely try to hurt me emotionally. Eventually I ended up finding out because the people around me started giving me clues that connected to my diary. He would look for me wherever I was online and he would get his friends to steal my attention away from anyone else who could. Anyway what has happened now is that my friends have left because I am still in touch with this guy and MANY people are trying to give me lessons on life. They believe that I don't know my true self when I was just venting inside a diary online. They teamed up to find me a man who would steal my attention away and "help" me. Give me love but never actually love me. And whenever I mention anything now I am playing victim. Everyone has left my side besides the man who started this whole thing. I don't want to go back but sometimes it gets so depressing and lonesome. For no one else is there for me. They just say good luck and leave.

 

Please, please, please, please, please don't let yourself go back to this guy! I know it's hard, but please do not go back. He's pretty textbook abuser. He did an excellent job of invading your privacy and using that to isolate you from friends and family. He doesn't respect you and he's not good for you. He is dangerous. Going back to him will not be better than being lonely and depressed. Trust me on that. If you go back, he will likely escalate.

 

If possible, can you talk to a counselor or therapist? Your friends aren't supporting you and you need someone who will. Perhaps there's an online counseling forum or even an online forum for people who have been through similar circumstances you could talk to.

 

Are there ways you could start branching out and making new friends? Maybe some kind of club or team you could join?

 

Just take things day by day. You can do this without going back to that creep. gif: http://media.giphy.com/media/3y6grmgPie0fe/giphy.gif

[georgexu94]

Terms you need to know first:

1. Person A: a classmate

2. Person B: another classmate

3. Person C: another classmate obviously

4. Accounting Professor: the teacher who teaches us accounting (particularly cost accounting, but that's irrelevant)

5. Place A: a regular auditorium where we usually hold our class

6. Place B: our official classroom but Accounting Professor decided we won't have classes there as much as possible because it is farthest from anywhere around school

7. Place C: a classroom suggested by Accounting Professor in case auditorium Place C is made unavailable due to its popularity

 

The most annoying event that happened this morning is that our Accounting class has changed room pr venue. The thing is the professor mentioned it a lot of times in class that we will have it in Place A. However, that morning, I found nobody is in Place A. So, I did what a sensical person would do. That is, to send a message through the phone to one of my classmates. Well, I asked first where the venue is. He said that it's in Place A but he's not yet there due to being stuck in traffic. Anyway, I went to Place C, where Accounting Professor mentioned that we might have a class some other time to avoid going to Place B. So I went there and foumd a different class there. I decided to send message to Person B and she said that it's in Place B. (She was not there yet but Person C told her that they are in Place B ) Oh, the fury I had in my veins! I then called Person A and met him and told him it's in Place B. Oh yes! He was angry, ranting on. Result: We were both late. And there was a quiz too. Oh, and Person B was absent and missed the quiz. She was stuck in traffic.

 

Now, how the rest knew is beyond me. There was no message in Place A. I swear on Naomi's teapot that I asked some of the others how they knew. All said they didn't know and was just told by someone else. Now, I will find the person who knew following the chain. But for the meantime, angry time!

[YanaAlYanas]

The thing is even when the guy is gone I'm being hoarded by people who once supported me telling me I don't know my true self. I don't know anything about myself. Who knows more about you then yourself?! It's making it so difficult for me not to go back It's as if even if I make them happy and give them what they want they keep wanting and wanting...it seems so hypocritical to me..and frankly a big excuse

[Obscure_Trash]

The thing is even when the guy is gone I'm being hoarded by people who once supported me telling me I don't know my true self. I don't know anything about myself. Who knows more about you then yourself?! It's making it so difficult for me not to go back It's as if even if I make them happy and give them what they want they keep wanting and wanting...it seems so hypocritical to me..and frankly a big excuse

That's why I suggested a counselor or therapist if you can. Your friends are behaving horribly and you need some support on how to deal with that. A counselor or therapist should help you work out what you've been through as well as how to move forward, which will include how to stand up to your friends and how to deal with their horrid behavior. I've no idea your age or situation or if it's possible at all for you to move, but seeing a counselor or therapist might be easier anyway.

 

Your "friends" need to be told to shut up. They need to start listening to you. You should not be the only one giving. It's not healthy to be in a relationship where the other people are always just taking.

[YanaAlYanas]

Alright thank you for your advice you have been very helpful also I am 22 years old and the guy is 27

[MedievalMystic]

Anyway what has happened now is that my friends have left because I am still in touch with this guy and MANY people are trying to give me lessons on life.

 

Do you wonder why? These people, as far as I can see, are doing what real friends should do...giving you really, really good advice. There's a good reason they're upset that you're still choosing to have contact with this guy.

 

Had some guy gotten into my online diary and gave out my password to everyone and their brother, I'd have had his head on a platter. I think I'd have cheerfully killed him. You're not with an intelligent, sensitive, caring man, you're dealing with a real loser. The fact that you somehow believe that that guy was trying to 'help' you by invading your privacy in such an embarrassing and/or humiliating way makes it seem to me that you aren't seeing the bigger picture.

 

For me, that would be a deal breaker. The end. I'd never want to see this guy again or hear another word he had to say.

 

It doesn't surprise me one bit that after what this guy did your friends are up in arms and questioning whether or not you really know who you are. Shouldn't they be up in arms? Shouldn't they be outraged that this guy would pull such a stunt? Anyone would be upset FOR you after that. I personally wouldn't have an ounce of respect left for that guy and you shouldn't either. Everyone else sees exactly how wrong this guy has done you, but you describe what he did as 'help'. What kind of 'help' were you supposed to get out of that? I'd be questioning you, too, if you were a friend of mine.

 

I don't think your friends need to be told to shut up. I think you should start listening.

 

Good luck.

Edited August 26, 2014 by MedievalMystic

[Obscure_Trash]

Do you wonder why? These people, as far as I can see, are doing what real friends should do...giving you really, really good advice. There's a good reason they're upset that you're still choosing to have contact with this guy.

 

Had some guy gotten into my online diary and gave out my password to everyone and their brother, I'd have had his head on a platter. I think I'd have cheerfully killed him. You're not with an intelligent, sensitive, caring man, you're dealing with a real loser. The fact that you somehow believe that that guy was trying to 'help' you by invading your privacy in such an embarrassing and/or humiliating way makes it seem to me that you aren't seeing the bigger picture.

 

For me, that would be a deal breaker. The end. I'd never want to see this guy again or hear another word he had to say.

 

It doesn't surprise me one bit that after what this guy did your friends are up in arms and questioning whether or not you really know who you are. Shouldn't they be up in arms? Shouldn't they be outraged that this guy would pull such a stunt? Anyone would be upset FOR you after that. I personally wouldn't have an ounce of respect left for that guy and you shouldn't either. Everyone else sees exactly how wrong this guy has done you, but you describe what he did as 'help'. What kind of 'help' were you supposed to get out of that? I'd be questioning you, too, if you were a friend of mine.

 

I don't think your friends need to be told to shut up. I think you should start listening.

 

Good luck.

They believe that I don't know my true self when I was just venting inside a diary online. They teamed up to find me a man who would steal my attention away and "help" me. Give me love but never actually love me. And whenever I mention anything now I am playing victim.

 

Oh, yeah. They sound really great. Solve one problem by throwing a man at her. Never care that she's been through some trauma and resort to calling her a victim when she talks to them seemingly because they're tired of hearing about it. Totally fantastic friends. Just the kind I'd want. Friends who don't listen to me and think that a man can solve all my problems... even when they've been caused by a different man. Smothering peoples problems and never letting them talk to work it out is not a good friendship. They sound like they're dealing with it in a rather immature and unhelpful way.

 

Those "friends" need to shut up because they are not helping even if that's where their actions stem from.

 

Alright thank you for your advice you have been very helpful also I am 22 years old and the guy is 27

 

Eugh, yeah, he's quite a bit older than you. Not a good sign. He definitely sets off all my warning bells.

[YanaAlYanas]

You are absolutely right. They do care for me. They don't want to me to be harmed

 

However the help they provide me with is quite cruel and not supportive it's almost like a punishment where I am deprived from things. So emotionally i'm driving back to the state I was in before. The most care, love, persistence, and support is coming from the guy who started all this. If I listen to my friends i'm still getting hurt because if anything goes wrong between the relationship of the people around me and myself...reactions get very cruel...It doesn't matter if the guy is gone....now I need to do more extra things to show that I have found my true self...So I still get ignored and ditched.

[edwardelricfreak]

-snip-

I think you missed her other post where she said her friends were giving her awful support. o3o

 

I do agree that it seems they care, but the advice they're giving is HORRID.

[MedievalMystic]

Oh, yeah. They sound really great. Solve one problem by throwing a man at her. Never care that she's been through some trauma and resort to calling her a victim when she talks to them seemingly because they're tired of hearing about it. Totally fantastic friends. Just the kind I'd want. Friends who don't listen to me and think that a man can solve all my problems... even when they've been caused by a different man. Smothering peoples problems and never letting them talk to work it out is not a good friendship. They sound like they're dealing with it in a rather immature and unhelpful way.

 

Those "friends" need to shut up because they are not helping even if that's where their actions stem from.

 

If someone throws a man in my face and I don't want him, I'd simply throw him back and say No Thanks and please Stop. If I choose to hook up with said man, that's on me. I don't feel I could blame my friends if the guy turned out to be a jerk. I can blame them for having bad taste, but I couldn't blame them for my own decision to get involved with the guy.

 

And if she's not a 'victim' of wrong doing from this guy, what is she? Sorry, in this world I tend to forget the latest 1000 labels for people, emotions, things, etc, etc, etc, so please inform me what the correct terminology would be in this case. I find trying to keep up with what's allowed and correct and acceptable, and what isn't, to be pretty exhausting.

 

These people are telling her what's up, that's how I read it. They're telling her what she needs to hear, not what she wants to hear. And that's a good thing, imo.

 

Personally, my friends can keep the fluff. I want what's best for me, not what's nicest. In this life, I've found I'm just better off that way.

 

And the way I see it, if my friends tell me they're tired of hearing about something, I feel I might need to reassess just how much I'm wallowing in it. Last I looked my friends weren't perfect and weren't martyrs and I don't expect them to be. If they got tired of hearing me * for a year about the same old crap, I hope they'd tell me and shut me up already before I drove them mad.

 

Anyway, we might be interpreting this post differently and reading different things into it. It was a tad confusing on the details but I thought I understood the gist of it. Maybe I didn't.

 

 

[YanaAlYanas]

It's much deeper then that. Emotions do exist in this world. Why do babies need to be hugged? You want your baby to be tough and strong. Don't hug your baby. Doesn't that sound rediculious. If I have been wallowing over a guy I obviously crave something <.<. I do not blame my friends for any hook up. Yet they still had A LOT to do with the advice the guy was giving me how he was reacting with me what he was trying to teach me. If anything went wrong between my relationship with them it affected my relationship with him. As for giving what's best that does not include cruelty. It's easier said then done. Had it happened to them then they themselves would be going mad. There are many different ways people get through something there is not just one way.

[MedievalMystic]

I didn't say you were personally wallowing in anything, Yana. Sorry for the misunderstanding.

Edited August 26, 2014 by MedievalMystic

[georgexu94]

ThaNks MedievalMystic for such nice and inspiring article in your siggy as well as the quotes contain within. I guess I'll be calling Willy Wonka from time to time. Sugar-coating, it's what makes people going!

Edited August 27, 2014 by georgexu94

[MedievalMystic]

Everyone knows sugar is just empty calories and too much of it is bad for you. I see sugar coated conversation the same way.

 

The article is gone now, unfortunately, you need a pw to access it so I'll remove the link.

Edited August 27, 2014 by MedievalMystic

[MoonShark]

It's much deeper then that. Emotions do exist in this world. Why do babies need to be hugged? You want your baby to be tough and strong. Don't hug your baby. Doesn't that sound rediculious. If I have been wallowing over a guy I obviously crave something <.<. I do not blame my friends for any hook up. Yet they still had A LOT to do with the advice the guy was giving me how he was reacting with me what he was trying to teach me. If anything went wrong between my relationship with them it affected my relationship with him. As for giving what's best that does not include cruelty. It's easier said then done. Had it happened to them then they themselves would be going mad. There are many different ways people get through something there is not just one way.

*hugs* I'm sorry you're going through this. From what I can tell, your friends aren't giving you the support you need. Maybe they're still good friends, but they're not what you need right now. Setting you up with someone else? If my friends tried something like that, I would tell them under no uncertain terms it wasn't another guy I needed, I needed them to act like the friends I thought they were and give me some support.

 

Regarding the guy, I would recommend cutting all ties with him. As others have previously stated, he's not a decent guy and after he shared something as personal as your diary (your diary) he doesn't deserve another moment of your time.

 

The loneliness will get better, and someday I hope someone will come along and find you. But turning back to this guy is not the answer. *hugs* Shoulders back, chin up, and tell him to shove off and never speak to you again. If he keeps trying to contact you via online means, block him, report him, get a new account and delete the old one. Whatever it takes. He's not worth anything.

 

I wish you the best. *hugs*

[MedievalMystic]

Honestly, at this point, I have no clue whatsoever if the OP of that post is talking about one guy or two involved in the situation. I assumed there was only one.

[MoonShark]

Honestly, at this point, I have no clue whatsoever if the OP of that post is talking about one guy or two involved in the situation. I assumed there was only one.

I may have misread the posts... It's not clear to me although I thought there were two involved. Regardless, it sounds like the OP is going through a difficult time.