Notice Regarding Trading Harassment

[Velvet_paw]

It saddens me to think that people could be so mean regarding what is in effect ( despite the gorgeous artwork and time taken to breed a pretty lineage ) a virtual treasure. Good things come to those who wait and most people on here are very generous, I'm happy to breed dragons as gifts to help people as are more experienced players - giving back to the cave is good. One day I might even have something that people want lol.

I may be guilty of sending a second pm if i think the first one may have not been read, or if I have offered an egg in trade that is close to growing up and think it may be traded successfully elsewhere if my first choice is unavailable . A polite no is always appreciated an should be graciously accepted.but if you have tracked the message a second ignored PM is more than likely to be a refusal.

Internet bullying in any form is a serious issue though and I'm glad that the mods have given members (especially younger members )a place to approach for help

[WarriorPriest]

I know I do not post a lot but I am a regular here. I honestly am saddened by the fact this is an issue. I personally am looking for a few things like low gen prize dragons new and old, but I would never pester someone for one. The only prize dragons I have are long lined ones. I would not even know who to ask for one much less hound them about it. I can also say I personally have not been harassed with requests regarding my female CB holly.

[Wallie987]

It really bugs me though. Why can't you just ask nicely and not pester? It's not as if harassing others saves you time and energy.

[silver_tiger]

Thank you, mods, for taking the time to address this very serious issue. I'm only sorry that you felt you had to.

[Classycal]

It's very sad that this kind of thing happens. I rarely ever PM folks about "special" dragons without seeing if they are accepting offers. Come to think of it, I've only PM'd two people about such a thing and received very polite replies (and the dragon I requested some time later, but both dragons were not "special" - only the mate was.).

 

On another note, it would be nice to receive a PM from someone saying no or that they aren't interested. I recently PM'd someone about the possibility of breeding a very common dragon, and I never received an answer and I know they read the PM. I think it's only polite to answer (but I never bother anyone if they don't).

 

And shame on anyone who pesters or harasses. This is uncalled for!!

Edited February 19, 2013 by Classycal

[Fuzzbucket]

Well, that depends on whether they're feeling *justifiably* upset or not. If they're upset because someone is using PM to insult them, curse at them, threaten them, make aggressive demands, etc., then that's harassment, yes. But on the flip side of the coin, some people simply get upset very easily about things. There was one person a couple of years ago who blew up at me for wasting their time by disregarding their scroll/trading preferences in their profile. Which it might theoretically be understandable why this could upset them, except that this was a person who had pm'd ME asking to trade with me, not the other way around!

 

I approve of people who are being intolerably rude and aggressive being banned from the forums, in other words, but I don't necessarily agree with people getting into trouble every time another user may feel upset. Mildly irritating things like offering junk on a trade, asking for a free egg, or PMing every week to ask if the gift I promised to breed for them is ready are not in the same category as sending threatening or ranting PM's demanding things. Remember it may just be a kid on the other end.

Yes but no but yes but

 

People - including children - know what the word no means. If you say sorry, no, to even a polite request, constant PMs saying have you changed your mind yet, please please, and so on can get to the level of well past annoying.

 

Nice kids have manners.

[_Z_]

Yes but no but yes but

 

People - including children - know what the word no means. If you say sorry, no, to even a polite request, constant PMs saying have you changed your mind yet, please please, and so on can get to the level of well past annoying.

 

Nice kids have manners.

No means No.

[Vhale]

No means No.

I've taken to stating to some people that if you are asking then that implies you can take a yes or no answer. If the only answer you will accept is yes, then you are demanding.

[Cleo4]

Wow, I wouldn't think this to be happening as it wasn't explicitly stated in the board rules.

 

I'm afraid that people don't realize that harassment is extremely rude and annoying, and it makes people less likely to trade with them.

[_Z_]

It is rather disturbing, when members prefer to quit rather then tolerate demanding pm's.

[CaesarZeppeli]

This has made me make a resolution to make sure I am, even though I have never harassed a player at all on here, never going to do that. I will be a polite person. I will be nice enough to take any answer I get. Heck I will even if told no, go search for what I requested for myself, if it is Caveborm or offspring of certain dragons. If it isn't able to be fullfilled I will leave it be and go on. I'm not afraid to be told no, and I won't pester, I will simply say "thank you for your time."

 

It is rather bad that people are pushed to leave, because of others being idiots and greedy. It makes me sick since I am a honest person and stuff like that makes me want to give such people a taste of justice.

[dark_kitsune]

Wow...I didn't realize this was a big problem. I've rarely sent request PM's...and I always state either yes or no is fine with me - that I just wanted to ask. Even if I don't get a response, I figure it was a no, and let it go at that.

 

What a shame that people get so worked up over pixels. Pretty pixels, but still...just pixels.

[Zovesta]

Not like I trade at all nowadays, but this is a nice notice if people are getting harassed.

[Starscream]

No means No.

One of the first things a child learns is no.

[WraithZephyr]

One of the first things a child learns is no.

Wish my 9 month old nephew understood that. He takes it to mean that once he is told No he needs to find a loop hole to get around the No to do what he wanted in the first place.

[Fiona]

It's a parent's responsibility to train a child that no means no. Unfortunately that doesn't always happen. Children cry, scream, throw tantrums and instead of enforcing their no, parents give in.

 

Then these spoiled brats bring that selfish, entitled behavior here, thinking if they just throw a big enough tantrum they'll get their way.

 

It is indeed tragic if someone has been so pestered that they chose to quit the game.

 

Thanks for making sure our users know they have recourse, _Z_. No one should have to put up with harassment, ever.

[MonicaOP]

Wow, that's awful , I hope it stops!!

 

Be well

[DragonNighthowler]

I guess that's your experience, fuzzbucket (and I say that respectfully). Mine is that I have a hard time trading for anything at all. Maybe I just don't understand what to put up for trade and what to ask for it. *shrugs*

Most of us who would willingly trade lineages rarely do so openly in trade posts, due to our posts getting buried and, most of us, rarely check them at all. But there are many of us who do trade, and even gift amongst us, things that others might deem worthless.

A while ago, as an example, I was trying to trade a tinsel for some terraes. No luck, I ended up keeping it.

 

Anyways, it is sad that these things are happening at all. I have to agree with Fuzzbucket, I don't think it has to do with age. Spoiled brats I've seen of every age, not to mention, my own mother-in-law is an spoiled woman who has made me and my boyfriend miserable to the point he wants no more contact with her.

Unfortunately these things happen.

 

On another note, while I personally don't mind prize dragons, nice alts or the such, I do believe they induce harassment from certain envious people. A little, healthy envy is a natural thing, I admit I love the black/alt sweetlings and felt a little; "damn, if I had stayed up until 6am as usually, maybe...".

But when certain people's emotions get the best of them, to the point of falling to these attitudes, it is a problem for both, them and the victim of the harassment. One is frustrated and unhappy, and the other is unfairly made felt miserable and guilty only for being lucky. It should be a joy for them, not a torture or a punishment.

[Fuzzbucket]

Wish my 9 month old nephew understood that. He takes it to mean that once he is told No he needs to find a loop hole to get around the No to do what he wanted in the first place.

At nine months ?????

 

I had no idea anyone felt like LEAVING over this....

[Nectaris]

What happens though if you send one, single, polite pm, and it just HAPPENS to be at the wrong time(i.e. they just got a lot from a bunch of different people or they are just having a bad day) and they explode at you? Are you liable if someone gets upset at a single, polite pm?

 

Note, I am not talking about someone who has something written in bold red letters not to contact them, I am talking about someone with no information about contacting them.

Edited February 19, 2013 by Nectaris

[Fuzzbucket]

What happens though if you send one, single, polite pm, and it just HAPPENS to be at the wrong time(i.e. they just got a lot from a bunch of different people or they are just having a bad day) and they explode at you? Are you liable if someone gets upset at a single, polite pm?

 

Note, I am not talking about someone who has something written in bold red letters not to contact them, I am talking about someone with no information about contacting them.

I don't think so. I think you should maybe keep your original and if anything comes of it you can show it to a mod !

 

But if that were me losing my rag, I would probably be so embarrassed about getting mad at you I would likely apologise and breed whatever it was even if I ordinarily wouldn't. I don't think it would happen if they'd got loads though - as they'd be feeling warm and fuzzy about those that weren't demanding

[_Z_]

What happens though if you send one, single, polite pm, and it just HAPPENS to be at the wrong time(i.e. they just got a lot from a bunch of different people or they are just having a bad day) and they explode at you?  Are you liable if someone gets upset at a single, polite pm?

 

Note, I am not talking about someone who has something written in bold red letters not to contact them, I am talking about someone with no information about contacting them.

If reported trust that mods, are able to distinguish the difference from the info provided.

[Starscream]

It's a parent's responsibility to train a child that no means no. Unfortunately that doesn't always happen. Children cry, scream, throw tantrums and instead of enforcing their no, parents give in.

 

Then these spoiled brats bring that selfish, entitled behavior here, thinking if they just throw a big enough tantrum they'll get their way.

 

It is indeed tragic if someone has been so pestered that they chose to quit the game.

 

Thanks for making sure our users know they have recourse, _Z_. No one should have to put up with harassment, ever.

This manner of behaviour is a huge reason this sort of thread came into being. My stance is not to reward ill behaviour.

 

I knew a 2 year old (now 5) who, when she stayed with me, behaved in a horrible horrible spoiled manner. She screamed enough her mother gave in.

 

when we were in a restaurant the child was on the seats bouncing around. I said sit down and behave. while later she did it again, fell smacked her jaw hard on the table. She screamed blue murder. I didn't make a sympathetic noise but only said "that's what you get when you behave bad" her mother said "she's a strict auntie.

 

This behaviour does occur on the forums and if it does for anyone here. someone insists they get what they want, they guilt trip you or make you feel bad. No. that's the end of the subject. If they try harder get staff involved.

DO NOT REWARD FOR BAD BEHAVIOUR.

It only makes them feel justified in doing it.

 

Edit: nectaris, mods can tell. We won't get you if you are caught in the middle by error

Edited February 19, 2013 by Starscream

[Blue Nadir]

What puzzles me is why people get *upset* to that degree. Not too long ago, I had two very good offers on a trade, but preferred the one that included a Rare breeding. The Rare would only be off cooldown after I had gone to bed, which means I'd only know if the breeding had been successful in the morning. I PM'ed offer number two and told them this, adding that I understood if they wanted to pursue other offers. Polite thing to do, I thought, rather than leave them hanging.

 

When I woke up, offer number 1 had come through aces with a pair of Trios, so I PM'ed offer number 2 to inform them that I've accepted the initial offer (again, as per polite discourse). Offer number 2 replied with a tirade about how I'd backed out of a deal and how I shafted them etc. But they had simply misunderstood my message - they thought *I* was doing the Rare Breeding and would definitely, 100% sure accept their offer. They have now blocked me (for being polite?!).

 

Since then, I let trades hang as long as it takes for me to decide just to avoid the above.

[Wymsical]

I'm a person who has been bugged by many people, and even guilt tripped in some cases. Fortunately for me, I find such things way more hilarious than I do irritating so I just continue blocking them and move on with my life. But nobody's done anything actually terrible enough to warrant me reporting them yet.

 

It always weirds me out how so many people feel like they can't or shouldn't report people who harass them via PM. I've been on the end of this on a different site where I'm the one dealing with the harassment reports. I'm not shocked at all that this notice had to be posted. So many people don't seem to realise what these people are doing to them is wrong and that they should be reported for it.