Hatchlings OoC Thread

[MyaMouse]

ugh that was what I was afraid of, he might come out later just to hunt 'cause while there's water in a water-cave-thing not far there's not much food and he doesn't hunt much because he's the most paranoid thing this side of the continent.

 

btw I designed Glowing Labyrinth with the purpose of a smaller secondary base for the clan in mind, basically it's got two caves on the surface about half-a-mile apart, one lower and bigger than the one he's in now (he doesn't like it 'cause it's too big to hide well but he does use it to store fresh kills in before he drags it up the tunnels), the one he's in is closer to the top, and about twice the size that he is(??). then it has two caverns with water deeper, four caverns he doesn't have a use for, and one storage cave where he keeps I don't know what, probably just ores he's mined/other crap he's found that he thinks might come in handy. he lived there from when he was quite young, around the time he became a vigilante, and never really noticed Shatterpoint if Zed lived there around 30 years ago? approximately. the tunnels themselves are barely big for his adult self and might need to be widened for G. Crusher, he finds new caves by drawing stones to him and if one gets stuck and can't come closer he tunnels that way using his tail-thing as a pickaxe and if it leads to a cavern, sweet! twice he's drilled out of the mountain and both times he filled it up with large pieces of rubble and ignored it in hopes it would just stay, and hoped others would too, the holes aren't really big. the caverns themselves have no lighting system, which Echo is fine with since he knows the Labyrinth like the back of his claw (and also because I think dragons can see in the dark?) but the others might not like this. the caves have natural light, the lower more than the higher (another reason why he hates it so much) so if they really want light they can just go down there. there's also rubble and small rocks everywhere, probably not sharp but still, he keeps it in case he needs to fight or protect himself.

Echo will be pissed if anyone starts flying out of the top cave (he only accepts coming in, he himself leaves out of the lower as well to not attract attention), but he won't care as much about the lower (and that one's also sorta big enough for the small ones fly in).

 

I'm typing like this because I can't be bothered to grammar at the moment I'm just really tired, the I's are just a force of habit.

soooo much text on an area I feel like Skwerl

I may have forgotten what grotto means, apparently it's not a water-cave and actually a man-made cave please ignore if I put it in my posts he rarely makes those 'cause it takes so long and he thinks it's a waste of energy.

[Renhart]

Stuff keeps coming up for me and it's getting annoying. The Glowing Labyrinth could serve as another escape IF the clan even goes there, we'll have to wait and see how the current plan works out. Edited February 21, 2016 by Booo

[ressamp]

I apologize for leaving without warning. I got distracted and forgot about the site for months. I'm not really sure what happened to my character, as I haven't read up yet. Although it has only gone three pages since I left? All I know at theoment is a year had been skipped. I'm not sure if it's been too long to rejoin, but it would be nice to know.

[Renhart]

Welcome back ressamp. I'm just going to quote what I've said before about joining so I don't have to repeat myself.

 

You can join, however, due to people constantly joining then leaving without saying anything we've already decided on an end for the RP. I don't know when, it might not be for another year or longer at this rate so there's still plenty of time.

So yes you can rejoin but your character will be killed if you're gone longer than a week without reason. Even then they still might be killed if you're holding everyone up.

 

Hello I'm new to the site however I'm interested in this rp and was wondering what are the requirements to joining this rp?

I think the requirements are on the first page. Have you roleplayed before?

Edited February 23, 2016 by Booo

[ressamp]

I hope it's okay to use Mihari, although he might have been inactive too long. I already posted, so hopefully it should be okay.

[Renhart]

You're in luck! LLD was going to kill off Mihari but he's been gone for health related reasons. So yeah it's fine, but please try to let us know if you can't RP in the future. Crusher might have to explain what's going on again since Mihari was away, but that might be for the best seeing as Irah isn't paying attention. Edited February 23, 2016 by Booo

[ressamp]

You're in luck! LLD was going to kill off Mihari but he's been gone for health related reasons. So yeah it's fine, but please try to let us know if you can't RP in the future. Crusher might have to explain what's going on again since Mihari was away, but that might be for the best seeing as Irah isn't paying attention.

Thanks, although when a character is killed for being inactive, does that mean they are actually shown to be killed in the RP, or just ignored and assumed yo be killed? Just curious, as I read up before I posted to make sure.

Edited February 24, 2016 by ressamp

[Renhart]

It can go either way. Some characters have 'left' for whatever reason but I don't think we're going to be as forgiving from now on.

I'll make sure to post tomorrow.

[Captain_Gunzou]

I'm not new to rp's I've done plenty on other sites just new to This site. Will look catch up on the rp so I can somehow get into it when my character is approved.

[Captain_Gunzou]

Username: Captain_Gunzou

Name: Liger

Gender: male

Type/Breed: Royal Crimson

Power: Pyrokensis, catching and dousing things that could be on fire with his mind. Half a minute when hatched,fully grown and trained- 1 hour. Range:5 head to tail lengths for him and Very focused,

 

Personality: He is very friendly and easy to get along with. Likes helping others and is caring for others not to mention their well being. Doesn't like fighting, in fact, would rather run/flee then fight, however, will fight when backed into a corner and has to defend. Woe to the one who does make him get backed into a corner.

 

Appearance: Blackout scales cause of what happened while on his journey in his egg. Red crimson inner scales, wings like a vamp.

Eyes:Heterochromia is when a person’s irises are different colors. There are a few kinds of heterochromia. Complete heterochromia is when one iris is a different color than the other. When part of one iris is a different color than the rest of it, this is called partial heterochromia. Central heterochromia is when there is an inner ring that is a different color than the outer area of the iris. An infant can be born with it or develop it soon after birth. In these cases, it is called congenital heterochromia.

 

Age/Stage:newborn

 

History: Liger was still in his egg when his nest was attacked. It began on what he thought would be a typical peaceful morning, waiting for the warmth of his mother to return, but then the silence was penetrated with roars from both his parents and screaming from the invaders. The screams were soon accompanied by the clanging of metal on scales, and the heat of scalding flames close by. Before the fire could reach his egg and kill him, he felt that he was being lifted out of the nest and was soon on the move. This must have angered his father who let out a deafening roar, followed by intense heat just barely singeing the side of the egg.

Liger's egg was dropped into a free falling off a small straight cliff side. It fell down and splashed into the water, bobbing under before it had resurfaced.

 

It follows the route, Liger was on an enjoyable ride then he suddenly picked up speed. Soon after he started hearing a roar all around him which seemed to get louder quickly, before it was deafening, then he was falling a bit before impact submerging then coming up again only to be warmed once again by nearby flames as the egg floated between two fighting dragons. The two fighting dragons paused, puzzled by the sight of a random floating egg before resuming their conflict when the egg left their site. A bear fishing scooped in, reaching out with its talons, snagging a fish went to throw the fish onto the land. The egg flew out onto the soft shore bank of the forest along with the fish. The bear taking its catch back to its nest, the cubs, however, was curious about the unknown object that was scooped onto shore by their mother. A wee crack near the top appeared in Liger's egg. Liger was getting ready to come out, he has had about enough of this crazy ride. The two cubs sniffed and poked the egg Liger was in. It was starting to get warm to the touch for the cubs.

Edited August 2, 2016 by Captain_Gunzou

[Renhart]

First off, we unfortunately don't accept holiday breeds. You can see which ones aren't allowed on the first page of the RP. I hope this dosn't deter you from RPing with us but I'll let you decide before I continue critiquing. Edited February 25, 2016 by Booo

[Captain_Gunzou]

Ok change breed to Royal Crimson dragon. powers has the power of fire so picture a tree on fire but the leaves or trunk aren't getting burnt that is when he'll have full control over his ability. instead of healing. personalty is the same. He's different cause he hasn't yet been born hatched out of his egg. So he can be taught differently.

 

Info on his race.

 

Royal Crimson Dragons are so named due to their massive size and confident, regal bearing. Most of the time they are laid back, ignoring non-prey creatures smaller than themselves, although they will occasionally take fresh kills from other dragons as a reminder of their place in the social order. Although there are few other dragons large enough to pose a threat to Royal Crimsons, they have little tolerance for potential rivals and will fiercely defend their territory from such intruders.

Edited February 25, 2016 by Captain_Gunzou

[MyaMouse]

Give me six hours and I'll have a post up if I'm not caught on my phone at lunch

[Renhart]

Username: Captain_Gunzou

Name: Liger

Gender: male

Type/Breed:  Royal Crimson

Power: ability to control fire and how it is used. Trees can be completely lit aflame but not be hurt cause of his ability to control it. However that will be the future.

Personality: He is very friendly and easy to get along with. Likes helping others and is caring of others also not to mention their well being. Doesn't like fighting in fact would rather run/flee then fight however will fight when backed into a corner and has to defend. Woe to the one who does make him counter attack though.

Appearance: Black scaled cause of what happened while on his journey in his egg. Red crimson inner scales wings like a vamps.

[snip]

Age/Stage: hatchling

History: There is a invasion of the father's and mothers nest. There is screams  from both parent's and the invaders. The sound of clanging metal and fire being breathed.  Two hands pick up the egg and is moving. Roar of rage escape his father's mouth with intense heat hiting the egg in one area, and the egg is let dropped free falling off the cliff side. It splashed down then bobs in the river. Two Bengal tigers are fighting across each other from the river banks. They stop and watch as it goes through in the river between them, then away; Then they resume their fight. A eagle swoops down and clutches onto the egg taking up rocket skyward to an attitude of 25,000ft  a while later another eagle think the first one is invading his territory attacks the one holding the egg. Liger's egg falls from their height is cushioned  as it falls by the branches and then like Jinga goes downward to land outside the cave the gorup is located at. He's still in the egg. There is soon movement inside the egg as it bobs eft then right slowly.

Extra: ...

I might need LLD to offer a second opinion on this, but his power dosn't make sense to me. If he lights a tree on fire then why dosn't it burn? You should describe how he's able to control it, like maybe he can change the temperature of his flames from hot to cold.

I have a similar complaint about his appearance. His journey turned his outer scales black, but it would be helpful if you could add how that happened.

Now for his history... Other than the fact that you're writing in first person there's also quite a few grammatical errors which makes it harder to read. I understand that you're trying to provide a visual of his environment, but the part with the tigers seems pretty redundant and the eagles don't really add anything either (except for maybe allowing the egg to travel even further). Why did the first eagle want the egg in the river? Also I'm pretty sure it's impossible for an eagle to skyrocket 25,000 ft in the air, let alone while carrying a dragon egg.

 

And lastly, you don't need to copy and paste his breed description. Most of us already know all the dragons on DC and if we want info on a certain breed then we can always look at the wiki.

Edited February 26, 2016 by Booo

[Captain_Gunzou]

Its been adjusted so please look again.^^

[Renhart]

It's a tiny bit better but I think you might of misunderstood some of my pointers. I'll critique your form in pieces which might make it easier. Spelling corrections are in bold.

 

Power: ability to control fire and how it is used. Trees can be completely lit aflame but not be hurt cause of his ability to control it. However that will be the future. Can completely control and manipulate fire that is near his body within a radius of ten wingspans end to end. Like its an extension of his own body.

I can understand where you're coming from, but it seems kinda overpowered in my opinion. I mean feel free to disagree but it might make more sense to just have him control the movement of fire, like a kind of pyrokinesis, rather than being able to decide if the fire burns the tree or not. Also when you said "that will be the future" did you mean that he can't use his power until he's older?

 

History: There is a invasion of the father's and mother's nest. There is screams from both parents and the invaders. The sound of clanging metal and fire being breathed.  Two hands pick up the egg and it's moving. A roar of rage escaped his father's mouth with intense heat hitting the egg in one area, and the egg is dropped free falling off the cliff side. It splashes down into the river then bobs back up...

This is still all in first person. Think of how a novel would be written, it most likely wouldn't go "Lucy jumps through tall grass, then approaches a house. She knocks on the door." I think it would sound a lot better if you wrote it out similar to this...

 

Liger was still in his egg when his nest was attacked. It began on what he thought would a typical peaceful morning, waiting for the warmth of his mother to return, but then the silence was penetrated with roars from both his parents and screaming from the attackers. The screams were soon accompanied by clanging of metal and the heat of scalding flames close by. Before the fire could reach his egg and kill him, he felt that he was being lifted out of the nest and was soon on the move. This must have angered his father who let out a deafening roar, followed by intense heat just barely singeing the side of the egg.

 

A pterosaur swoops down and clutches onto the egg taking it skyward to an altitude of 25,000ft. It goes down the face of a waterfall, then goes through a rocky canyon, then through searing volcanos.

There aren't any dinosaurs during the middle ages and you got too many adjectives at the end. If the volcano is 'searing' then we can guess that it's active, you don't need to describe it as volcanic.

 

Liger's egg falls from their height and it's cushioned as it falls into branches and then like Jinga goes downward to land outside the cave the group is located at. He's still in the egg. There is soon movement inside the egg as it bobs left then right slowly.

What's Jinga? Also maybe you could go into more detail about how the egg survives the fall? I find it hard to believe that an egg would still be intact after falling from that height, even if it hits a few trees on the way down.

 

~~~

 

I think you would benefit from scrolling through this thread:

RP Guides, Tips, Information and Help

I know it's really long so you'll probably just want to pick the sections that interest you.

Edited February 29, 2016 by Booo

[ressamp]

This is still all in first person. Think of how a novel would be written, it most likely wouldn't go "Lucy jumps through tall grass, then approaches a house. She knocks on the door." I think it would sound a lot better if you wrote it out similar to this...

Do you mean present tense? First person uses pronouns such as I; although I'm not sure if that's a good idea either. Usually past tense is used.

Edited February 29, 2016 by ressamp

[Captain_Gunzou]

I edited it, so maybe this is more believable. I took what you said into consideration, and made his meeting the group a different way. Yes he gets more control as he ages. Hopes this is better.

[Renhart]

Does anyone else think the RP's literacy level might be wrong? To me semi-literate implies that there's lots of incorrect punctuation and unoriginal characters which dosn't sound like us at all. (The exception being EC the raging chaotic evil huehuehue)

 

I edited it, so maybe this is more believable. I took what you said into consideration, and made his meeting the group a different way. Yes he gets more control as he ages. Hopes this is better.

It's getting better, but some parts still sound rushed. Like the part where you mention the animal throwing the egg... then what? How does he survive?

 

Do you mean present tense? First person uses pronouns such as I; although I'm not sure if that's a good idea either. Usually past tense is used.

Yeah that's what I meant. Whoops...

Edited March 1, 2016 by Booo

[Captain_Gunzou]

Dealt with, and I wait to see what else needs to be edited.

[MyaMouse]

Hng ignore my wolf submissive behavior I don't know dragon submissive behavior so I used wolf submissive behavior *flails*

 

Wow, we have really different ideas of semi-literate rp's. I think of it as mostly correct grammar and one-two paragraph-sized posts.

[Renhart]

lol that's fine. I'll reply soon but I was hoping either Dream or ressamp would post first. And that's what I thought semi-lit meant as well but there seems to be varying opinions on it, including the dictionary definition.

 

@Captain_Gunzou I'll look at it again in a bit, just need to get a few errands done.

Edited March 2, 2016 by Booo

[Renhart]

Sorry for the wait everyone. My router was acting weird and I've been busy overall, but I should be able to post later today.

 

@Ressamp Crusher was looking at Mihari's leg.

Edited March 4, 2016 by Booo

[ressamp]

Sorry for the wait everyone. My router was acting weird and I've been busy overall, but I should be able to post later today.

 

@Ressamp Crusher was looking at Mihari's leg.

I thought Crusher was injured earlier from the way I read it. I editrd my post.

[Dream_Dragon]

Heh. I've forgotten what Mihari's breed is.

 

@Mouse I'd probably be tempted to make Sky do that but I don't think he'd make a move unless Echo tries something. Ironically, Sky technically was "born into this bunch" since they did pick him up on the day he hatched. Ah, it sure takes me back to the old days...