Gay Straight Alliance

[elderberrysyrup]

I do believe I am agendered, after some deliberation and discussion. I realize I don't really think of myself in any kind of gender dynamic whatsoever, after much self discussion. I'm not particularly bothered by my physical sex, I just have no real connections with it from a sexual identity standpoint. As far as I'm concerned, it's just a body I'm in. I also have this lack of connection with the other gender identity. I don't appear to follow a third gender, either. To me, gender is something that other people participate in and I, in order to fit in, simply follow along to avoid arguments.

 

Is this reasonable? I don't want to jump the gun and perhaps overlook a crucial option of self-perception here. I also don't know if this sounds like something other agendered people may relate to.

[octopi]

Ah I think that's kind of similar to my experience!! Although I'm not sure I'd specifically identify myself as agender? When forms force me to choose male or female I just kinda get an "eeeeeeeehhhhh" sort of feeling and tick the female box if I absolutely have to (since I'm dfab and honestly that's what they're asking for most of the time). I feel like... well there's the somewhat uncommon term "apatheist" which is used to describe people who don't care if a deity exists/whose behaviour would not change regardless of what the world's spiritual status is, and I'm pretty sure I'm something like the gender equivalent of that. Apathigender. Or I might be a conglomeration of octopuses, puppies, and fractals which doesn't understand the question. I dunno, gender is weird and I haven't found myself a good label yet.

 

But there's no "requirement" for someone to be agender. Some agender people experience dysphoria, some don't; some are androgynous, some aren't; saying one must act or be a certain way to be agender is just plain stereotyping. The prefix a- means "without" or "lacking", so if you feel like without gender or lacking gender describe you well, then go for it! Achieve your dreams. Non-cis people get to pick a superpower on their way in take your time

[elderberrysyrup]

Or I might be a conglomeration of octopuses, puppies, and fractals which doesn't understand the question.

Ahahaha, this is partially how I feel to a grand extent.

Edited July 30, 2014 by soullesshuman

[Koroshiya-Ichi]

I realize I don't really think of myself in any kind of gender dynamic whatsoever ... As far as I'm concerned, it's just a body I'm in. I also have this lack of connection with the other gender identity. I don't appear to follow a third gender, either. To me, gender is something that other people participate in and I, in order to fit in, simply follow along to avoid arguments.

 

Is this reasonable? I don't want to jump the gun and perhaps overlook a crucial option of self-perception here. I also don't know if this sounds like something other agendered people may relate to.

This is my experience exactly. I refer to myself using female pronouns 99% of the time for ease of communication and because the body I inhabit is female, but identify as nongendered and think of myself in the same way you describe: disconnected completely from the concept of gender as most other people seem to think about it. The big difference between what you posted and how I feel is that I do experience a ton of discomfort being in a female body.

 

I had never really felt female, but it took until I was about 19 to realize I didn't feel like anything else either. I was taking Human Sexuality at the time and the class as a whole was self-evaluating a gender identity survey that split us into 4 categories/squares - male, female, androgynous (mix of male & female traits), and nongendered (lack of both male & female traits.) I'll never forget the dawning horror and confusion, followed quickly by shame, I felt when I scored my survey and found myself smack in the middle of the nongendered square (I had expected to land in the "androgynous" square.) Because despite feeling only mild self-consciousness over finally discovering a legitimate term I could identify with, it was the professor declaring "I feel sorry for anyone who lands in that [nongendered] category" that made me feel like a freak of nature. I'm sure I wasn't the only one in the class who fell into that category, and the idea that he could've hurt who knows how many students with that one incredibly disgusting statement made me want to walk out of the room. Thankfully I did my own research into the subject online a short while later and was able to find solace in learning that being nongendered is not only perfectly valid, but perfectly acceptable. But damn, just imagine the students who heard their Human Sexuality prof, a guy that's supposed to know his subject well enough to teach it with authority, say that about their identity and then NOT being able to research further to find out he's full of it. The thought that there are probably students of his who took that damaging assessment to heart and hated their identity... god, I still feel tremendous sadness and rage when I think about it.

 

Anyway, don't worry too much about jumping the gun, because you are always free to change whichever label you self-identify with as you learn new things about yourself. I myself am still not sure that "nongendered" is an accurate enough description of who I am, but until I find something that fits better it's what I go with. I'm honestly not sure I'm fully capable of understanding what anyone means when they identify as/say they feel female or male, I just know that whatever it means, I apparently don't fit the criteria... argh, this can get so confusing to discuss, but I found your post particularly eloquent.

 

edited slightly for clarity

Edited August 4, 2014 by Koroshiya-Ichi

[Mattaroon]

Ah this thread is awesome! So great to see so many of the LGBT here and allies as well!

I'm Matt, FtM Transgender and openly pansexual. Been denied my identity and name by my parents and silenced by them as well plus a myriad of other horrible things but I refuse to let it keep me down and out! My faith and hope in the future will always keep going. uwu I just want to take this opportunity to say if anyone here needs personal support or wishes to PM for a set of listening ears, about anything (even if it's not LGBT related) I'll be here!

 

edited because i originally posted from my ages old account that i never actually used by mistake, I wanted to get back into the forums again so I decided to make a new account today, one that coincided with my gender and name x)

Edited August 5, 2014 by Mattaroon

[Shadoe666]

If anyone can help from experience, how do you survive being the queer kid in a homophobic school?

[avoralei]

If anyone can help from experience, how do you survive being the queer kid in a homophobic school?

some try avoidance, some try fighting physically or verbally, and some just agree and go on doing their things

[edwardelricfreak]

If anyone can help from experience, how do you survive being the queer kid in a homophobic school?

Whatever works best for you, I suppose. Personally, if it were me, I probably wouldn't hide that I was queer, or...well, ok. I wouldn't be keeping it a secret I guess, I just probably wouldn't tell anyone because I don't care, but if someone found out I'd be like "yeah, so?" It's not a shameful thing.

 

If others beat me up, the cool part about that is they're being bullies and that's not okay. Doesn't matter what reason they think they have. So I'd be able to report them and get them off my case. c: Unless it's a school that doesn't care. :c I've seen those.

[Shadoe666]

some try avoidance, some try fighting physically or verbally, and some just agree and go on doing their things

Are the stories about gay kids getting beat up for their sexuality in high school likely to happen?

[avoralei]

Are the stories about gay kids getting beat up for their sexuality in high school likely to happen?

I think it depends on your area and how strict the school is? some of the kids i get into fights with, it's mostly verbal, and the way my school is with punishments, anybody to get into a physical fight is most likely going to get a very harsh punishment.

so if your school is similar, i doubt it will happen.

[edwardelricfreak]

Are the stories about gay kids getting beat up for their sexuality in high school likely to happen?

As avoralei said, it depends. It depends on the area you're in, as well as the school's rules and policies on violence, etc and how the authorities handle situations. It also depends on the individual kids in the school.

 

If it's a school where you can be picked on/beat up for sexuality, it's also probably likely that other forms of discrimination happen and kids get picked on, so it's probably not like it's just sexuality (although I don't doubt that situation has existed/does exist).

[Lagie]

This is great!

http://www.rollingstone.com/music/news/cyn...-youth-20110825

[BlitzDrake]

This is disgusting. People need to hear about and fight this; Michigan

[edwardelricfreak]

This is disgusting. People need to hear about and fight this; Michigan

Haha what

 

“No one from the LGBT community has ever had fire hoses turned on them by the police department, they have never had to drink out of an LGBT water fountain,” pastor Stacy Swimp told the House committee that considered the measure. “There is no record of LGBT — homosexuals, lesbians—being forced to sit at the back of the bus in an LGBT section.”

Sure, but it doesn't mean that acts of violence and other forms of discrimination aren't carried out against them.

 

America has always allowed for citizens to believe what they want, but NEVER to do what they want as they please because of said religion. If someone thinks for one moment that freedom of religion means they can do everything under the sun influenced by religion, they're wrong. They may believe what they wish. They may practice religious acts so long as they don't impede on the freedoms and rights of others. They may NOT do something that would impede on those rights. And this completely impedes on the rights of gay people. :\

[Stromboli]

This is disgusting. People need to hear about and fight this; Michigan

Throwing the snopes report on this in as well, just because so much of the journalism on the bill has been a bit heavy handed one way or the other.

 

The bill doesn't actually say that EMTs can refuse treatment based on religious beliefs, but the fear is that someone will try to use it that way. They'd have to try to use it as a defense in court, and the odds of that defense succeeding are (or at least should be) slim, but... the chance is there, which is not okay.

 

Kinda glad I'm getting out of Michigan, but I'm going to Louisiana... not sure what to expect in terms of the culture towards gay folks there. :|

[amillionelephants]

This is disgusting. People need to hear about and fight this; Michigan

I'm really lucky to live in a queer friendly part of MI...... sometimes our government is just really disappointing....

[BlazingAces]

I couldn't think of any better way to bringing this thread back alive.

It has been a long time coming, but the U.S. is finally making a drastic change that has enabled thousands of LGBT Americans the right to marry.

This is a win for us all in the LGBT community.

Though a lot of people still oppose it, it is my belief that slowly they too will realize that love is love & should not be limited by gender identification. It's sad that those of us in the LGBT community will have to prove it to various people, but if that's what it takes I know we will help them see it as we do. Those that don't understand have to realize that this is not a lifestyle. You don't just simply wake up one day & make the decision to love a specific gender. It is something that happens through more than just a thought & action. It happens because love finds us all. Love does not define things such as religion, sexuality, race, & all other labels people place on one another. It is by no means a bias concept.

 

I was always told that equality in America would happen, & sure enough it has. My hopes are that it will continue to spread to neighboring nations, as well as other places far & in between. It might not happen in our lifetime, but there is still hope for the generations to come. Overall I am happy for what has been provided for the current generation. It has allowed me to legally bind myself to my spouse, not that that ever mattered because we have always been married, even long before it was legally recognized. This is just one more step that has enabled the option of having both of our names on our child's adoption certificate when that time comes. Thanks to the legal courts it is possible for our American Dream to come true

 

There is still a lot of soft ground to be paved, but for now we have something solid & stable to stand on. All it takes is Time, Patience, Understanding & Willpower.

[pony459]

I'm guessing Asexuality is included in this thread too? Just wondering since its not directly in the name haha!

 

edit: i just checked the first post and found my answer

Edited January 29, 2015 by pony459

[Jashypoo]

I'm guessing Asexuality is included in this thread too? Just wondering since its not directly in the name haha!

 

edit: i just checked the first post and found my answer

I usually say LGBTQ+ to include everyone. Especially the gender and sexual identities I'm not yet aware of

[Shienvien]

LGBTQA generally stands for asexuals, too. (The "A" is not for "allies", some part of me wants to point out whenever I see the thread title...) Though since there are sexualities it still doesn't cover (pansexual? demisexual? heterosexual?), so I'd say the plus is warranted in addition.

- And yes, I think heterosexual should be included just because dividing things into different ("majority" and "minorities") categories tends to aggravate the rift rather than lessen it by telling the majority that they don't belong in the "club". Let's all be one big family of different sexualities!

 

We need an all-encompassing term that is an actual word. Well, "sexualities" kind of is that.

[Jashypoo]

LGBTQA generally stands for asexuals, too. (The "A" is not for "allies", some part of me wants to point out whenever I see the thread title...) Though since there are sexualities it still doesn't cover (pansexual? demisexual? heterosexual?), so I'd say the plus is warranted in addition.

- And yes, I think heterosexual should be included just because dividing things into different ("majority" and "minorities") categories tends to aggravate the rift rather than lessen it by telling the majority that they don't belong in the "club". Let's all be one big family of different sexualities!

 

We need an all-encompassing term that is an actual word. Well, "sexualities" kind of is that.

I always felt LGBTQ+ was basically everything other than heterosexuality. So adding heterosexuality to it doesn't really make sense to me.

 

But I get where you're coming from

[FiveSix]

I use Gender, Sexuality and Romantic orientation Minorities, or GSRM. GSM is already in use in a fair few places, the R is a little more unusual. Everyone gets shoved into the catch-all, not just the 'new' sexualities, and it doesn't carry on forever. Then just tag 'and allies' on the end to let in anyone who's going to be decent about it.

[Shienvien]

I use Gender, Sexuality and Romantic orientation Minorities, or GSRM. GSM is already in use in a fair few places, the R is a little more unusual.

Global System for Mobiles?

(My brain won't ever parse abbreviations correctly, I swear...)

 

But as far as abbreviations go, GSRM is certainly more compact and all-encompassing than LBGTQA+ ... wait, why is the T there, that is not a sexuality? Minority, certainly, but not a sexuality minority. Huh.

 

Nevertheless, I feel that not making the distinction of majority group/minority group goes a long way.

Let's take marriage:

"A person can marry a person", as opposed to "a man can marry a woman, given that they are also different sexes ... exceptions may occur where a man can marry a woman when both are the same sex, or woman can marry a woman regardless of their respective sexes, or man may marry a man regardless of their respective sexes, and so on and so forth (see paragraph 126.7.9 for additional information)." Cause the latter is just unnecessarily overcomplification.

Edited January 29, 2015 by Shienvien

[sparkle10184]

I always use GSRM. Much more inclusive.

 

Btw, the A stands for asexual, aromantic, agender, and any other A sexualities/genders/romanticisms. Not Ally.

[Jashypoo]

I use Gender, Sexuality and Romantic orientation Minorities, or GSRM. GSM is already in use in a fair few places, the R is a little more unusual. Everyone gets shoved into the catch-all, not just the 'new' sexualities, and it doesn't carry on forever. Then just tag 'and allies' on the end to let in anyone who's going to be decent about it.

GSRM is more inclusive as romantic orientations are important too. Might need to start using that more oftneXD

 

I talked to a bisexual once who could form romantic and sexual relationships with men but could only experience sexual attraction towards women.