Gay Straight Alliance

[zorua9]

im confused with politics, if it is in america there might be a chance a gay person(male, female) will run for president, which will probable win cause there is apparently more bi people in the world , which means America might have a gay person as president, i predict between 8-20 years till a person who is gay runs for president.

 

 

EDIT: which will be fun

Edited November 7, 2012 by zorua9

[~Kat~]

Hay,

 

All the best to ya'll. I hope you all can find happiness you are searching for, BIG HUGS.

[7Deadly$ins]

im confused with politics, if it is in america there might be a chance a gay person(male, female) will run for president, which will probable win cause there is apparently more bi people in the world , which means America might have a gay person as president, i predict between 8-20 years till a person who is gay runs for president.

 

 

EDIT: which will be fun

I'd love to see a non-straight president. But just because they'd run doesn't guarantee a win. I think most people choose presidents on topics other than sexuality.

 

How many states have legalized marriage now?

[~Kat~]

I'd love to see a non-straight president. But just because they'd run doesn't guarantee a win. I think most people choose presidents on topics other than sexuality.

 

How many states have legalized marriage now?

PER SockPuppet Strangler, she just got finished telling me

 

I said not to bring the American Politics thread elsewhere. This is a safe place for gays, not a place to discuss Obama. If you have a problem with an action a mod takes, you may PM that mod or PM TJ, not continue to post about it.

[7Deadly$ins]

PER SockPuppet Strangler, she just got finished telling me

 

I said not to bring the American Politics thread elsewhere. This is a safe place for gays, not a place to discuss Obama. If you have a problem with an action a mod takes, you may PM that mod or PM TJ, not continue to post about it.

I'm not discussing Obama, I'm responding to a post made after Sock's, which I can read without you quoting it for me. This is a hypothetical situation that has nothing to do with the current election at any rate, plus I asked a legitimate question that we were discussing (even the Mods).

 

You are not a mod.

[LascielsShadow]

7Deadly$ins, I think the number is nine now, with the addition of Maryland, Washington and Maine. I'll have to double check, though-I could be wrong.

[Alpha Gryph]

My roommate curiously asked me today if I wished I was a boy. And when I said no, she said that confused her. She seems to think that since I like girls, I should wish that I were male....and she asked me to explain why I wouldn't want to be male and I couldn't really figure out a response.

 

What should my response have been? The answer just seems so obvious/the question so strange that I couldn't really think of what to say....

[satyr76]

My roommate curiously asked me today if I wished I was a boy. And when I said no, she said that confused her. She seems to think that since I like girls, I should wish that I were male....and she asked me to explain why I wouldn't want to be male and I couldn't really figure out a response.

 

What should my response have been? The answer just seems so obvious/the question so strange that I couldn't really think of what to say....

Apparently, it's not too uncommon for people to think that gay=trans. DX I really don't know how to respond to it.

[Switch]

I'm not really sure either. But I am both gay and trans, so. o3o;

 

I think maybe the reason some people think that is because they're used to boys being with girls and girls being with boys so they're like "Well this guy wants to be with a guy but girls are normally with guys so the guy wants to be a girl."? That and maybe because of the stereotype that gay men are all feminine and lesbians are all manly and gruff?

 

Maybe?

 

Um.

 

I swear this sounded waaay better in my head. >_>; This is all just my guesswork.

Edited November 9, 2012 by Switch

[hazeh]

Just tell her because you like being a girl.

 

I've gotten that a few times, or the "You're a lesbian? But you're so...girlie!" I've also gotten "But you'd look so much better with a guy!"

/snort

 

I like being a girl. Granted I'm extremely feminine and I don't know what you're like, but, I like girlie things. I like having womanly curves, I like having a higher voice, I love my long hair and make-up and boobs and the ability to have children even though I probably won't. Sure, there are certain things about being a girl I don't like, but I like being in a woman's body and feeling like I belong in it.

 

If that's you, then it's you. You shouldn't need to explain it to someone.

Ask her why she doesn't want to be a boy.

[StarSea]

7Deadly$ins, I think the number is nine now, with the addition of Maryland, Washington and Maine. I'll have to double check, though-I could be wrong.

Ohio wouldn't happen to be on the list, would it?

 

I agree with Shiny- Ask her why she doesn't want to be a boy.

 

And so what? Aren't you allowed to be girlie and lesbian?

[StormWizard212]

Well, to congratulate those of us in America. Julia Gillard still has yet to get off her lazy butt and do the same here

Here here.

 

But congratulations to all of those Americans out there! Hopefully Australia will be next to follow. I think it's awful that I can get married but most of my closest friends can't. But it's good to know that things are finally changing, albeit slowly.

[LascielsShadow]

Ohio wouldn't happen to be on the list, would it?

 

Nope. Current list is: Massachusetts, Connecticut, Iowa, Vermont, New Hampshire, New York, Maine, Maryland, and Washington.

Edited November 16, 2012 by LascielsShadow

[Vampiresswolf]

Hello I'm a girl and I just want to fall in love be it with a girl or a boy or otherwise. I am 21 years old I live in the USA and wonderfully lucky as my family knows and doesn't care. I am however painfully shy when it comes to dating, I have yet to go on any date. I am a collage student, work towards an ITEC major.

I understand you perfectly, I am the same way. Don't worry, someday you'll get enough courage to talk to someone you crush on, and it'll all fall in place. Or, like me, you'll meet an awesome gay dude in class one day, and he'll force you out to get involved in stuff you otherwise normally wouldn't, he'll become your best friend, and you'll meet people that way. lol.

[zorua9]

What do you people think about this pic:

[MedievalMystic]

What do you people think about this pic:

 

That's perfect!

[Moeru]

My roommate curiously asked me today if I wished I was a boy. And when I said no, she said that confused her. She seems to think that since I like girls, I should wish that I were male....and she asked me to explain why I wouldn't want to be male and I couldn't really figure out a response.

 

What should my response have been? The answer just seems so obvious/the question so strange that I couldn't really think of what to say....

Your roommate is confusing orientation with gender. She seems to think that gay orientation does not exist. Therefore, that females can't be attracted to females--so you must actually be a male.

 

The same thing is said to trans people when people assume they're straight...

 

Until very recently (the early 90's, I believe??) in order for a Female-to-Male trans man to receive treatment, in order to be diagnosed officially as transgender, he HAD TO be attracted to females. He could not be gay. If he admitted to having attraction to males, the psychiatrists assumed he was just a straight female who was confused.

Meanwhile, for Male-to-Female trans women, it seems that almost half of them are bisexual or exclusively attracted to women... but they were not denied treatment for this.

 

Your response overall could have simply been "My identity is my gender. I know what gender I am by sensing inside myself that i am a girl, the same way that you do. My orientation is completely different from that. I am attracted to females for a variety of reasons. This is a completely and utterly different part of my mind than the part which has gender. This is why not all girls want to wear heels and makeup, and not all girls want to become Marines and play soccer. Gender is a huge spectrum."

[vintageandroid]

I'm . . . pretty late to the party, that cool? I'm a cis-girl dating another girl who is also dating a boy. (So yes, happy poly family.) I'm moving in with them in two weeks, and I am SO excited. I've had a hard time labeling myself (thought I was straight for a long time, then heterosexual-but-panromantic, then heterosexual-but-really-really-bad-at-it) so I go with "queer." It's short and has a Q in it, so it's a winning situation all around.

 

I'm very lucky that my parents, while immediately bewildered and with some reservations still, are very accepting of my girlfriend. Of course, I came out as an adult with the announcement, "Sooo I'm dating a girl. Thought you should know*." That could be why. They had a much harder time when I came out as not Christian, so this was really nothing.

 

It's nice to have a supportive community here, either way. So in my tl;dr and "lookit my life story!" way: I salute you all!

*My original plan was to send them a text as follows:

Roses are red

Violets are blue

I still quite like boys

But I like girls too.

I am a little regretful I didn't come out that way but...probably for the best.

[Obscure_Trash]

Congrats with the relationship and acceptance! I love that poem! <3

 

~

 

Alpha Gryph - sorry you got stuck with a roommate like that. I hope this can be one of those times where just a little exposure causes them to re-think what they've been taught and open their mind. <3

[Moeru]

I'm . . . pretty late to the party, that cool? I'm a cis-girl dating another girl who is also dating a boy. (So yes, happy poly family.) I'm moving in with them in two weeks, and I am SO excited. I've had a hard time labeling myself (thought I was straight for a long time, then heterosexual-but-panromantic, then heterosexual-but-really-really-bad-at-it) so I go with "queer." It's short and has a Q in it, so it's a winning situation all around.

 

I'm very lucky that my parents, while immediately bewildered and with some reservations still, are very accepting of my girlfriend. Of course, I came out as an adult with the announcement, "Sooo I'm dating a girl. Thought you should know*." That could be why. They had a much harder time when I came out as not Christian, so this was really nothing.

 

It's nice to have a supportive community here, either way. So in my tl;dr and "lookit my life story!" way: I salute you all!

*My original plan was to send them a text as follows:

Roses are red

Violets are blue

I still quite like boys

But I like girls too.

I am a little regretful I didn't come out that way but...probably for the best.

Congratulations on their (even if hesitant) acceptance. Usually people (especially parents) take time. My therapist is gay, and told me her parents took ten years!!!! to finally accept this reality, poor thing. Of course they're from two generations back and that's a hard thing for them to get their heads around.

 

I do have some good coming-out news myself ^^

My girlfriend is transgender, but was scared to tell her family (Christian, southern Americans) even though she is wholly independent and lives far away from them... she decided to just not say anything.... then suddenly, on a whim, she wrote a long coming-out email to her mother and sent it.

To our complete astonishment, her mom's response was positive, even loving. She said "I had always wanted a girl..." and "To be honest, I kind of suspected, long ago". It really goes to show you just NEVER know how people are going to react. Sometimes the people you have no hope for can really surprise you.

 

People over 45 have different social hangups to get through before they can fully embrace some LGBTQ issues but from the people I've talked to, that worst-case-scenario of being completely cut off, doesn't happen very much. Most people want to keep a good relationship and can learn to accept you. :3

[Fuzzbucket]

Um.

 

Two things. I am 68,and have never had a single issue. It never occurred to me that there was anything wrong with anyone except homo- and other- phobes, till I saw threads like this ! (not but that I support it strongly, as clearly there are issues - I guess I have to say "you all"- have to face in life !!!)

 

And secondly I am rather shocked by your therapist. I am glad you like her (I assume) but I have many relatives and friends who work in what you might lump together and call "the professional therapy services" and they all agree that the therapist should NOT be exchanging facts about their own life, as it can influence their clients at vulnerable times.

 

That is a wonderful story about the accepting mother though !

Edited January 16, 2013 by fuzzbucket

[Moeru]

Um.

 

Two things. I am 68,and have never had a single issue. It never occurred to me that there was anything wrong with anyone except homo- and other- phobes, till I saw threads like this ! (not but that I support it strongly, as clearly there are issues - I guess I have to say "you all"- have to face in life !!!)

 

And secondly I am rather shocked by your therapist. I am glad you like her (I assume) but I have many relatives and friends who work in what you might lump together and call "the professional therapy services" and they all agree that the therapist should NOT be exchanging facts about their own life, as it can influence their clients at vulnerable times.

 

That is a wonderful story about the accepting mother though !

I understand your concern she told me that as an example story, as how people can take a long time to come together. She is not a psychiatrist but "just" a therapist. If she never told me anything about herself personally I would feel like I was being dissected by a very impersonal machine, I think. Where I live there are not many English speakers, and CERTAINLY not many English speaking therapists, and CERTAINLY few of those who are knowledgable about LGBT issues. In the whole country there might be about three. We have been working together almost two years and it has been overwhelmingly positive.

[Fuzzbucket]

I'm delighted for you. But there's no such thing as "just" a therapist !!! That is a scary thought. Either you are qualified and know what you are doing - or you - hope you know what you are doing and aren't qualified. No matter.

 

But - here's a for instance for you - a friend of mine who was in therapy for eating disorders had a counsellor of some kind tell her she (the counsellor) was gay. This trigged a huge "what if" moment for my friend - could that be the reason for everything ? And she decided it obviously was and spent the next two years "coming to terms with her sexuality."

 

Except - she wasn't. She was just confused about everything in her life, and terribly suggestible. She's now happily married with children and not terribly pleased about all that wasted time she could have been working on the eating disorders - as she says, it would never have occurred to her if the counsellor hadn't mentioned it.

 

Therapists of all kinds HAVE to be dispassionate and NOT give out personal information. I suppose if you KNOW you are LGBTQ and take the time to find a therapist you know is ALSO within that spectrum that is a separate thing - but even so - risky.

 

Edited for clarity

Edited January 16, 2013 by fuzzbucket

[vintageandroid]

I'm delighted for you. But there's no such thing as "just" a therapist !!! That is a scary thought. Either you are qualified and know what you are doing - or you - hope you know what you are doing and aren't qualified. No matter. (1)

 

<snip>

 

Therapists of all kinds HAVE to be dispassionate and NOT give out personal information. I suppose if you KNOW you are LGBTQ and take the time to find a therapist you know is ALSO within that spectrum that is a separate thing - but even so - risky. (2)

I know this is a bit off-topic, but: 1. There is a difference between a therapist and a psychiatrist, though, in that the latter is generally a PhD., can do prescriptions, etc. That doesn't mean they're not qualified; it just means they serve a different function, which I assume is what the OP meant.

 

And 2. I don't necessarily think that's true. I'm sorry your friend had an unfortunate situation with hers; however, I found having a therapist willing to talk a little about her own life put me very much at ease. They're humans, and in some cases it helps to know that. I think it depends on the particular therapist and the particular patient--a skill of a therapist, I imagine, is to know when it's appropriate. (Part of why I'd be a terrible therapist. I talk too much.)

 

Also thank you for all the nice words, guys. My parents are less accepting of the poly thing but that's not a huge surprise, and also not the point of this thread. Hee.

[TikindiDragon]

I do have some good coming-out news myself ^^

My girlfriend is transgender, but was scared to tell her family (Christian, southern Americans) even though she is wholly independent and lives far away from them... she decided to just not say anything.... then suddenly, on a whim, she wrote a long coming-out email to her mother and sent it.

To our complete astonishment, her mom's response was positive, even loving. She said "I had always wanted a girl..." and "To be honest, I kind of suspected, long ago". It really goes to show you just NEVER know how people are going to react. Sometimes the people you have no hope for can really surprise you.

To be honest, if she'd been close to her parents then I'd have expected at least one of them to have had some suspicions for a long time. My Mum, for example, may have some hang-ups of her own - but she was the one that brought the idea of transgender to my notice.