Gay Straight Alliance

[SoiledLove]

Oh, I like this thread. Wonder why I haven't posted here yet...?

 

I'm SoiledLove and I think I'm bi, but I'm not sure. I believe I said that on the Sexual orientation thread. I've found both guys and girls attractive and had a childish crush or two on some guys that were voted as the handsomest in the class and stuff, but I've never really liked the thought of actually having a relationship with someone. Well, maybe when I'm older that'll change...

 

I feel less comfortable with the thought of lesbianism than other kinds of relationships. At least, that's the only kind of relationship I can't really write about, yet I would prefer to be in that kind of relationship especially after I watched Tough Guise and Killing Us Softly in school and I was subsequently introduced to radical feminism (I'm not a radical feminist though. I do know a radical feminist, and she said 'all sex is rape' and I was like 'wtf?', so, no, I'm not a radical feminist).

 

Btw, I recommend Tough Guise and Killing Us Softly. I can't give links though since YouTube is banned in China. The two documentaries (I think they're documentaries...) deal with the ideas of masculinity and femininity as well as sexism but they also give an insight on the whys and hows of sexual orientation and of discrimination against different sexual orientations. The terms Masculinity and Femininity are rather important to understanding the reasoning behind homophobia and just how much sexism is related to sexual orientation. The two documentaries might not be completely scientifically proven to be true, but they are real eye openers.

 

Personally, I wish that there were more openly homosexual couples because usually, they are the ones that adopt instead of going through a pregnancy, since they can't unless. In reality, it's not really a very good idea to keep up population growth and stuff, but that's a part of how our society works and if we don't have population growth, capitalism and stuff won't work and the only other way is self-sufficiency (according to our history teacher, I wasn't really paying attention, but, hey, it's not like I got a bad score on the test...), which I think won't work either. But there is already a fear of overpopulation and stuff, China has a one-child policy. The Earth is not, contrary to popular belief, a bountiful place were there is enough for everyone forever, nor are our resources going to last forever even if they do grow back, because there is simply too many of us. Frankly, the amount of abusive homes, terrible orphanages and children that just live on the streets to get away from such situations is astounding. Most people think that such things don't happen much at all unless it's in a story, but that's not true.

 

I never want to go through a pregnancy which is, in part, because of the pain of childbirth, I'll admit. But also because I think adopting would be a much better choice. Straight couples tend to want to go through pregnancy due to an instinctive satisfaction and possessiveness towards a pregnant partner on the male's half and the instinct to reproduce and populate from both sides.

 

I think I've said too much... And have gone off course.

 

... Sorry...

[octopi]

Personally, I wish that there were more openly homosexual couples because usually, they are the ones that adopt instead of going through a pregnancy, since they can't unless.

Friendly reminder that some homosexual couples can indeed produce children through pregnancy because trans people exist. And I think in quite a few places non-heterosexual couples actually have a harder time adopting because discrimination is everywhere :c

 

Sometimes the ~*we're all humans*~ attitude really grates on me...does anyone else feel the same way? I mean, yeah, okay, we are all of the same species, but sometimes when people say it it sounds like they're saying 1) we're all the same and should be treated the same even though most people have different needs and wants, and 2) your orientation/gender/race/other things aren't things to be proud of since only the fact that you're in the human supergroup matters. Of course there are people who mean well by it but there are also so many people who say that to get other people to stop talking about sexuality and gender and. Ugh.

[KageSora]

Not to mention there are homosexual couples that have children from prior relationships (so they still reproduced) and there are those who will get a sperm donor or surrogate mother so they can bring a child into the world instead of adopting.

 

Also plenty of non-homosexual couples want to adopt but struggle to get through the system.

 

Additionally, in a lot of places it may be harder for a homosexual couple to adopt a child than a heterosexual couple, due to the way the system works.

 

 

And, honestly, I'd rather there be more openly homosexual couples not because of the adopting kinds thing (also--heterosexual couples can adopt due to infertility and stuff that means they, just like a cishomo couple, are incapable of having kids) but purely because the discrimination stopped and they were treated like normal people instead of being at risk for being treated like crap for it.

 

 

 

I personally like the idea of "we're all human", provided it's in the "we're ALL human, regardless of race/religion/sex/sexuality/gender/etc., and therefore we ALL deserve the same basic respect and none of these things should mean we're treated as 'less' simply for being that way/identifying as part of that group/etc."

 

We don't have to treat everybody the exact same--that doesn't work, clearly, people ARE different. But we should all be afforded basic respect and treated like people instead of "well some people are more people than others, they get to have more rights/they get better treatment/they're 'better' just because of race/religion/sex/gender/sexuality/etc." and stuff.

[octopi]

Yeah I know that a lot of people mean well by it but then I guess I just keep hearing it from bad allies? (Like, "ugh we get it, we respect your rights, we're all human, now can we go back to talking about other(read: straight) things please". Also sometimes "we're all human! See, I expressed a progressive opinion which is actually not an opinion at all but completely true fact! Wow I'm so proud of myself. I deserve a medal".) And it's a bad situation because some people do mean well by it but then I'm just kinda eesh around people who do it now because such a large percentage of them are not doing it right.

 

10000th edit: also I guess there's also the part where it kind of implies that non-straight people should be respected because they're almost the same as straight people? Rather than acknowledging that yes, we're different, but that's also okay.

Edited July 19, 2014 by Fractional Pi Day

[KageSora]

Ah, yeah, I hate when that happens, too. I don't like when it's used to dismiss things, or as one of those "pat myself on the back for being an amazing super awesome ally" kind of things. That just devalues the idea, I think.

 

I don't really see it as seeing "they're almost the same as straight people" but more of saying "sexual orientation is simply one of the many factors that makes people different from each other and should have no more impact on determining if a person deserves basic rights and respect than what their favorite color is".

 

It's a "trivial" thing in that it overall should have no impact on if you are treated as a person or not, or if you're legally afforded the same rights.

 

 

Of course, just because it shouldn't have any impact doesn't mean it won't have an impact, sadly...

[SoiledLove]

Wow. Seems like there's a lot I don't know...

 

What I do know, though is the fact that England (I think) is trying its best to have their population accept gay couples. How? By creating the first homosexual bedtime storybook. It's called something like The Two Princes and the Treasure? Or something like that. The two princes get married in the end... It's very interesting. When I first read about it, I cracked up because I had never seen anything like that.

[Obscure_Trash]

Wow. Seems like there's a lot I don't know...

 

What I do know, though is the fact that England (I think) is trying its best to have their population accept gay couples. How? By creating the first homosexual bedtime storybook. It's called something like The Two Princes and the Treasure? Or something like that. The two princes get married in the end... It's very interesting. When I first read about it, I cracked up because I had never seen anything like that.

Er, I'm not really sure GSA is the best thread to say you laughed at a queer couple. You might be interested in the Sexual Orientation thread, though. More discussion and education there as well: http://forums.dragcave.net/index.php?showtopic=108411

~

 

However, the book sounds cute. It's not the one I was thinking of. The one I was thinking of was more of a kinda explanatory book. The Two Princes and The Treasure sounds like just a cute story. <3

[SoiledLove]

Oh no, I laughed because it was cute. I wasn't laughing at the gay couple. I don't care much about other people's sexuality. They can be what they want to be.

Edited July 26, 2014 by SoiledLove

[Obscure_Trash]

Oh no, I laughed because it was cute. I wasn't laughing at the gay couple. I don't care much about other people's sexuality. They can be what they want to be.

Thank you for clearing that up. :3

[SoiledLove]

Yeah, I had to. Misunderstandings make me really nervous. I always feel as if I'll be seriously hurting someone if I leave a misunderstanding as that.

 

Anyways, I do recommend the book. It's really cute, if a little cheesy, and it's a good bedtime story. A good story in general.

Edited July 26, 2014 by SoiledLove

[hazeh]

Heather Has Two Mommies is my FAVORITE child's book that features a gay couple It was my favorite book as a kid, actually, and I loved the art work. It did a fantastic job about explaining things to kids, such as being pregnant, or how its okay to be sad when you miss someone, and how every family is different and its okay.

 

Ahh! <3

[SoiledLove]

Wow. I didn't know that there were more bedtime storybooks featuring homosexual couples. I thought the Two Princes and the Treasure was the only one... Interesting. I'm going to look that one up.

[Shadoe666]

Wow. I didn't know that there were more bedtime storybooks featuring homosexual couples. I thought the Two Princes and the Treasure was the only one... Interesting. I'm going to look that one up.

There's also a really nice one for kids who prefer animal versions of everything: And Tango Makes Three

 

here's a link to a reading of it

[KageSora]

Figured this might be a good thread to ask in...

 

I'm properly looking into getting a binder (finally), but I'm just completely unsure of what kind of style to get. I hear some of them have problems with rolling up if you've got a gut, so I was wondering if anybody had any suggestions for a style of binder that'd work okay for a heavier person?

 

Underworks seems to be the brand most suggested to me, so I'd probably buy from them...

[SoiledLove]

Thanks, shadoe! It's just too bad China blocks YouTube... And most other websites like it. Luckily, I'm going to England today and buy The Two Princes and the Treasure. Unluckily, this year seems like a year for plane accidents...

[Pestilence420]

Hey everyone

 

I'm Pestilence, male, 17 and Bi who just came out :3 My mom was very understanding and her exact words were"Everyone can jump on the train and move on or get the off if they don't like it" she's seriously everything in the world to me I can tell her absolutely anything I also told my little sister but she already kind of knew I guess<3

 

Now on to my father and older sister I don't think I'll ever tell them because they just hate gay/bi people I don't know why but it seriously scares me to tell them plus my father also told me he would kill me if I was gay when he was drunk and I just don't feel like they would be accepting of me which hurts..I still love them despite what they say and I try to show them we're all the same my older sister is a little more accepting but she still says some hateful things that make me wonder :/

 

Is it bad if I don't ever tell them?

[Obscure_Trash]

Hey everyone

 

I'm Pestilence, male, 17 and Bi who just came out :3 My mom was very understanding and her exact words were"Everyone can jump on the train and move on or get the off if they don't like it" she's seriously everything in the world to me I can tell her absolutely anything I also told my little sister but she already kind of knew I guess<3

 

Now on to my father and older sister I don't think I'll ever tell them because they just hate gay/bi people I don't know why but it seriously scares me to tell them plus my father also told me he would kill me if I was gay when he was drunk and I just don't feel like they would be accepting of me which hurts..I still love them despite what they say and I try to show them we're all the same my older sister is a little more accepting but she still says some hateful things that make me wonder :/

 

Is it bad if I don't ever tell them?

No. You never have to come out to people who are dangerous, who you do not feel safe around, who you just don't want to tell. We are not obligated to come out. It can feel good to come out... when we haven't been threatened if we ever do. Coming out is a choice, one we must make multiple times. You do what you feel is best. You watch out for your safety. <3

 

Glad your mom and little sister are supportive!

[edwardelricfreak]

Personally I don't think that anyone should have to need to "come out" as anything. I don't like how, since it's assumed that most/all people are straight, someone has to come out saying that they aren't.

 

Does that make sense?

 

Personally I'm not going to come out as pansexual to most people I know just because 1. it's none of their business, 2. I don't want to and 3. it doesn't matter anyway. Why make a spectacle out of it? There's no need for a heterosexual person to do it, so there should be no reason for me to do it.

 

Of course, I don't mind identifying as a pansexual when I write bios and things. To me it's no different from telling someone my other info like name, age, gender, religion, etc. But "coming out" to me is a silly notion that I wish didn't have to exist.

 

To clarify, I'm not trying to bash those that do come out. I'm not trying to say they're attention hogs or whatever for doing it. (I feel like maybe some of it can be somehow interpreted in that way, which is why I'm saying it's not what I meant) What I'm saying is, it shouldn't have to be a spectacle or whatever. There shouldn't be a need for it.

[SilverTalon]

Hi everyone c:

 

I'm Silver, pansexual, and genderfluid.

I just recently started identifying as genderfluid because my friend explained to me what it meant as well as other genders considered non-binary, and it described/explained a lot of what I feel and have felt for a really long time I guess.It basically put a name to what I had felt which was really awesome because for the longest time it was a large source of stress and anxiety because I felt something was wrong with me for feeling more like a different gender and going through random bouts of self loathing because I would feel so uncomfortable in my own skin.

(Something I believe/think is that if more people were educated on what genders considered to fall outside of the binary were and not have them be alienated, then a lot more people would find one they feel comfortable identifying with; just a thought though)

 

My mom is really open and excepting and so are my close friends, so I do have a nice little support system, but it never hurts to expand it ^^

 

One thing I'm worried about, especially since I'm starting highschool soon, is the locker/bathroom situation. I usually avoid public restrooms because they really stress me out (the thought of confrontation on the subject because I might not pass off well enough as a different gender) and my anxiety doesn't help. My plan was to just avoid school bathrooms unless no one is around or have a willing friend go with me as support?

I have no idea what to do about locker rooms, especially because we'll be expected to shower from what I've been told and just changing around people I don't know makes me uncomfortable for the same reasons public restrooms do

Any ideas/advice..?

[octopi]

Personally I don't think that anyone should have to need to "come out" as anything. I don't like how, since it's assumed that most/all people are straight, someone has to come out saying that they aren't.

 

Does that make sense?

Well, yeah. There also "shouldn't be a need" for girls to wear less revealing clothing and carry stuff like pepper spray to avoid sexual assault, or for people other than parents and teachers to educate others on sex/sexualities/gender/other things like that. But the fact is that even though maybe the world should be an ideal place like that, it isn't, and acting like it already is is going to hurt yourself or other people.

 

Also a lot of parents are...aggressively heteronormative. My mom randomly gives me unsolicited tips for dating boys and raising children all the time, and it makes me really uncomfortable. Telling her I'm ace/aro and don't intend to marry made her ease up a bit on that, and I think a lot of people "come out" with intentions similar to that.

[edwardelricfreak]

One thing I'm worried about, especially since I'm starting highschool soon, is the locker/bathroom situation. I usually avoid public restrooms because they really stress me out (the thought of confrontation on the subject because I might not pass off well enough as a different gender) and my anxiety doesn't help. My plan was to just avoid school bathrooms unless no one is around or have a willing friend go with me as support?

I have no idea what to do about locker rooms, especially because we'll be expected to shower from what I've been told and just changing around people I don't know makes me uncomfortable for the same reasons public restrooms do

Any ideas/advice..?

If anyone starts to bother you when you're in the bathroom/locker room, you should probably tell a teacher/counselor/principal asap. It matters not that they're bullying you because of you gender but that they're bullying you in general. Don't let people give you grief.

 

Though, for locker rooms, I believe most will have curtains/walls/doors of some kind for privacy. I know a lot of girls at my school who would also get changed in them. We also weren't "expected to shower", but more rather expected to not be a total stinking mess (most people didn't shower because there really wasn't time and it was mostly just to wash the sweat off anyway). But for the most part? At least in my experience in both bathrooms and locker rooms: no one really cares. I seriously doubt that unless word gets out to rude, close-minded kids at your school about your situation, that anyone will know (except your friends) let alone care. But really, I don't think anyone was bullied at the locker rooms at my school. I think the only complaints were some of the girls getting mad that some of the others wouldn't/didn't put on deodorant. Still, if you get bullied in there, you should probably tell a coach or other adult.

 

Also, going back to the bathrooms, if you go during class there's usually very few people who will probably be in there. The times that get the most people in the bathrooms will be before and after school, during lunch, and during class transition. Sure, you might use up bathroom passes or whatever if you have those, but if you're that worried about confrontation, it might be the best time to go.

Well, yeah. There also "shouldn't be a need" for girls to wear less revealing clothing and carry stuff like pepper spray to avoid sexual assault, or for people other than parents and teachers to educate others on sex/sexualities/gender/other things like that. But the fact is that even though maybe the world should be an ideal place like that, it isn't, and acting like it already is is going to hurt yourself or other people.

 

Also a lot of parents are...aggressively heteronormative. My mom randomly gives me unsolicited tips for dating boys and raising children all the time, and it makes me really uncomfortable. Telling her I'm ace/aro and don't intend to marry made her ease up a bit on that, and I think a lot of people "come out" with intentions similar to that.

I'm not acting like it's an ideal world because I know it isn't. I know there shouldn't be a need for a lot of things. I was just stating my thoughts on the matter of "coming out". :\

 

And again, I wish no one had to come out for those reasons. We shouldn't expect a "girl" to be such and such a way, or for anyone else to be some other way.

Edited July 28, 2014 by edwardelricfreak

[octopi]

I'm not acting like it's an ideal world because I know it isn't. I know there shouldn't be a need for a lot of things. I was just stating my thoughts on the matter of "coming out". :\

 

And again, I wish no one had to come out for those reasons. We shouldn't expect a "girl" to be such and such a way, or for anyone else to be some other way.

Yeah, I know, I was basically saying the same thing you did. But there are people who are all like "don't make such a big deal out of it we're ~*all human*~" as a way to shut down non-heterosexual people and stop them from discussing anything that isn't straight? And I just feel really ugh when people imply, intentionally or not, that orientation isn't important because it's such an integral part of some people's identities. Maybe it's "overly sensitive" or whatever but little things like that really add up over time.

 

(Also nnnnnnot really a girl here. But other than that yeah.)

Edited July 28, 2014 by Fractional Pi Day

[edwardelricfreak]

Yeah, I know, I was basically saying the same thing you did. But there are people who are all like "don't make such a big deal out of it we're ~*all human*~" as a way to shut down non-heterosexual people and stop them from discussing anything that isn't straight? And I just feel really ugh when people imply, intentionally or not, that orientation isn't important because it's such an integral part of some people's identities. Maybe it's "overly sensitive" or whatever but little things like that really add up over time.

 

(Also nnnnnnot really a girl here. But other than that yeah.)

No, I'm not trying to stop anyone from making a big deal of it. Also considering that I'm not straight, I don't understand why I wouldn't want anything but that kind of discussion? I also said that to me it's like any other part to my identity. I didn't say it wasn't important. When I said it "shouldn't matter", I didn't mean it like "ugh gender/sexuality doesn't/shouldn't matter", but rather having to come out and say something like that shouldn't matter. It matters now because of the heteronormative society we live in.

 

(also wasn't saying you were a girl. I was using an example, as you mentioned girls needing to have pepper spray, etc, and also that your mother was expecting you to act a certain way. Emphasis on the last part of my sentence, "or for anyone else to be some other way."

[Obscure_Trash]

Personally I don't think that anyone should have to need to "come out" as anything. I don't like how, since it's assumed that most/all people are straight, someone has to come out saying that they aren't.

 

Does that make sense?

 

Personally I'm not going to come out as pansexual to most people I know just because 1. it's none of their business, 2. I don't want to and 3. it doesn't matter anyway. Why make a spectacle out of it? There's no need for a heterosexual person to do it, so there should be no reason for me to do it.

 

Of course, I don't mind identifying as a pansexual when I write bios and things. To me it's no different from telling someone my other info like name, age, gender, religion, etc. But "coming out" to me is a silly notion that I wish didn't have to exist.

 

To clarify, I'm not trying to bash those that do come out. I'm not trying to say they're attention hogs or whatever for doing it. (I feel like maybe some of it can be somehow interpreted in that way, which is why I'm saying it's not what I meant) What I'm saying is, it shouldn't have to be a spectacle or whatever. There shouldn't be a need for it.

Bolding mine.

 

I understand and respect your point - and I know you clarified in the end - but I'm struggling with your wording. Calling coming out "making a spectacle of it" makes it sound like those of us who have/will/did come out did it for attention or something and it's nothing like that. Spectacle makes it sound like I'm some circus elephant and it's nothing like that. I know you clarified, but then you continued to use spectacle and I just... really do not like the connotations that word brings.

 

I respect everyone's right to not want to come out for whatever reasons, but I also respect everyone's right to come out for whatever reasons.

[edwardelricfreak]

No, I know, it's hard to explain. When I mean spectacle, I guess I just mean the event of coming out? Not saying it's anything showy. That's why I mentioned that one point about attention.

 

Eh, never mind, I don't know how to explain it better and it seems like others are having a problem so I'm just going to drop it and leave the thread :\