Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer

[Lagie]

The early bird gets the worm.

 

Why am I sneezing?

[Long_Before_Sunrise]

You got caught in the pollen exchange while the trees are networking. You inhaled some tree's e-mail.

 

Why can't spring show down instead trying to do everything in a week?

[Lovecats]

Due to unpopular demand, Spring has been replaced with MegaSpring this year. We apologise for the inconvenience! We would like all our customers to know that this will be over shortly, with the beginning of MegaSummer.

 

Why can't my plants grow faster?

[Long_Before_Sunrise]

Because you're expecting a lot from them and it makes them really self-conscious.

 

What's this yellow powder that's making me itch?

[Lagie]

*reads label* Dunno. It just says "Yellow Itching Powder. Copyright Zonko's Joke Shop".

 

Do I have to?

[Long_Before_Sunrise]

Yes, you do. Doing stuff you hate builds character.

 

Want to go camping?

[catstaff]

Only if it's in a VW microbus camper. Preferably one with peace signs and zodiac signs painted all over it.

 

Have you gone there?

[Long_Before_Sunrise]

No, but I've been to Wallyworld. I left with a lot less money.

 

If I abandon this Black dragon egg, it'll alt for someone else, won't it? And if I keep it, it'll just be a normal hatchie?

[Naraku]

Of course. Isn't that how Rothbard's law works?

How do I get to the next parallel universe?

[Lagie]

Push the big red button.

 

Where does the Easter Bunny live?

[AsymDoll13]

In a hollow in an oak tree. 

 

Where does he keep all those eggs?

[Long_Before_Sunrise]

In the vault where they used to keep gold bars.

 

It's been years. Why hasn't my Peep grown into a Cluck?

[Lagie]

Because duck.

 

How come?

[Long_Before_Sunrise]

Because. The answer is always 'Because.'

 

Dare you question it?

[AsymDoll13]

Of course not. 

 

Is peanut butter a liquid?

[Long_Before_Sunrise]

No, but the peanut butter in this jar is.  Turn on the AC. 

 

I demand a cookie. Flood me with varieties.

 

[Lagie]

That's not a question, so... no.

 

Do I have to?

[Long_Before_Sunrise]

Yes. ALL MUST SURRENDER. THERE IS NO ESCAPE!

 

*cough cough* Was I too authoritative?

[Lagie]

Delsym will help with that cough.

 

How do I do this?

[Long_Before_Sunrise]

I dunno. The instructions are difficult to read after coming out of the washing machine.

 

Is there an online manual?

[KittyloverWV]

Go to school lane, the manual should be there

 

What's the square root of a paper airplane 

[AsymDoll13]

7.

 

How do you calculate the circumference of a duck?

[Lagie]

Multiply by pie. Apple, of course.

 

Why is it so hot?

[Long_Before_Sunrise]

Magma is closer to the surface in the summer.  That's why most volcanos erupt in hot weather.

 

Where do the daytime clouds go at night?

[KittyloverWV]

Sleep. 

 

How?