Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer

[Long_Before_Sunrise]

A good spy knows the easiest places to gather incriminating evidence.

 

I bet I know better than you do what's underneath the bed.

[catstaff]

Maybe you do and maybe you don't, but you forgot to actually ask a question.

 

Did you even notice?

[Long_Before_Sunrise]

I noticed.

 

Will you sort through my old clothes?

[catstaff]

No, I've already got more old clothes to deal with than I can handle.

 

Why won't you sort them yourself?

[Long_Before_Sunrise]

That's too many decisions!

 

Why is it cold in here?

[AsymDoll13]

It's your heart, my dear. 

 

Who put Bella in the Wych Elm?

[Long_Before_Sunrise]

It was Edward!

 

Why do humans trust vampires? It's like a chicken trusting a coyote.

Edited February 4, 2022 by Long_Before_Sunrise

[catstaff]

Too many humans think they've met Nick, when they've really met LaCroix.

 

Would a vampire be affected by drinking from someone who's drunk?

[AsymDoll13]

I suppose if they've had enough, maybe. 

 

What about someone that's stoned? 

[catstaff]

I think it would be pretty funny to see - well, depending on the chemical in question.

 

If it does happen, do you think vampires would hang out in places like Amsterdam more?

[AsymDoll13]

I'd imagine so. 

 

What about the ones looking for a drink? New Orleans?

[Long_Before_Sunrise]

If you like your humans flavored like crayfish, potatoes, corn, snoballs, and Hurricane

 

Who wants boudin?

[catstaff]

@AsymDoll13probably does - I'd rather have fresh lobster. Or Ben and Jerry's.

 

Who's coming to New England?

[shadowmisfire]

A cow, a horse and a shoe on a stick.

 

why are green dragons green?

[catstaff]

They couldn't decide between blue and yellow, so that was the compromise.

 

Why is that birb giving me the stink-eye?

[Long_Before_Sunrise]

It remembers you cut down those shrubs.

 

How long until @AsymDoll13 notices I'm bundled up in all her blankets in her bed?

[AsymDoll13]

Is that what's moving around down there? 

 

Why are you scaring my cats?

[Long_Before_Sunrise]

Because they wouldn't move over so I could get comfortable.

 

How does a 10 lb. cat turn itself into an immovable object?

[AsymDoll13]

By becoming matter instead of a liquid. 

 

Why are you in the blankets?

[catstaff]

Because I keep the place on the cool side to save on energy bills. You can always add another layer if you're cold, you know.

 

Why aren't you trying to save money?

[Long_Before_Sunrise]

There's a film of ice forming on the water in the sink.

 

Can we turn the heat up a little?

[AsymDoll13]

I think we could afford that. 

 

Can I keep a fan on me since I get hot easily? 

[Long_Before_Sunrise]

No. I'll fan you with my wings.

 

You won't mind that I radiate heat due to being from Volcano parents, right?

 

Edited February 6, 2022 by Long_Before_Sunrise

[catstaff]

Radiate heat all you want to, as long as you're in the greenhouse keeping the tomato plants warm all winter.

 

Who wants homemade salsa for their Super Bowl party?

[Long_Before_Sunrise]

Thanks, people get wide eyed when I'm red all around the mouth and teeth.

 

What's a Super Bowl?