Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer

[Long_Before_Sunrise]

Because of the heat of my fury!

 

Can you not feel it?

[Docthings]

Yes I can feel the heat, as well as the knife that you plunged into my abdomen.

 

Why isn't anyone calling an ambulance? Dark spots have started to obscure my vision..

[catstaff]

Probably because you're too well hidden, and no one knows where to send the ambulance.

 

Why did you insist on obscuring your location?

[Long_Before_Sunrise]

She likes to do her own surgeries, thsnk you very much.

 

Why does Monopoly bring out the violent side of players?

[catstaff]

I think you've just been playing Monopoly with violent people - I've never had that happen.

 

Why not play Dungeons and Dragons instead?

[Docthings]

Because I can't flip a table out of pure, unbridled rage while playing D&D, now can I?

 

Does anyone want to go to IKEA with me to buy a new table?

[Lagie]

Ooh yes, please! I need some of those LEGO-topped boxes!

 

Someone told me this looked like a map of IKEA:

Do you agree?

[nerys]

Because the bubbles want to be free

 

Why does blue cheese smell like bad feet 😫 

[catstaff]

Probably so it'll go well with the wine that those same feet stomped out of the grapes.

 

Who's volunteering to be the designated driver?

[AsymDoll13]

I'll do it, since I'm not fond of the idea of drinking. 

 

Do I actually need a license? 

[Lagie]

The moon is higher than you are.

 

Can I toast toast?

[Long_Before_Sunrise]

No. There's burritos jammed in the toaster.

 

Where's that can of nacho cheese sauce?

[AsymDoll13]

Larissa needed it for her stew. 

 

Why is the water all frozen?

[Long_Before_Sunrise]

I'm only familiar with magical properties of the Elements of Harmony

 

Maybe ask an elemental dragon?

[SomeRandomCorviknight]

Or maybe it's because you put it in the freezer? 

 

 

Why does spotify keep crashing?

[Long_Before_Sunrise]

It disagrees with your choices.

 

What happened to spring?

[catstaff]

Punxsutawney Phil saw his shadow, which means the delivery of spring has been delayed by six weeks. Or maybe it's just that shortage of truckers we keep hearing about that's the real issue.

 

Whatever happened to Baby Jane?

[Long_Before_Sunrise]

*ahem* I already declared this - early spring requires three wild plants - purple lamium, chickweed, and cleavers. There's no purple lamium. There's wild onions and tiny spring beauties, but those don't count.

 

Baby Jane became a Jane Doe. It happens. 

 

Why are fictional criminals more well known than real ones?

[catstaff]

Fictional criminals are more well-known, because more people watch movies than follow the news.

 

Did dubstep really get started from the sound of dialup internet connecting? For those too young to remember it:

 

[Long_Before_Sunrise]

Unlikely imo, and there are places in the US that still use dial up.

 

Why do cell phone carriers keep selling divisions to each other?

[catstaff]

It's their version of gerrymandering.

 

Why do you keep posting questions that put songs into my head?

[Long_Before_Sunrise]

It's called strategy.

 

Why do cats play demolition derby in the early hours of morning before daylight?

[catstaff]

It's their job to make sure the humans wake up in time to feed them before going to work.

 

Why is it always raining when I have to take trash to the dumpster?

[Long_Before_Sunrise]

From maximum grodiness.

 

It was used cat litter, wasn't it?

[catstaff]

No, all the old clothes that are too beat up to donate.

 

Why are you so interested in my trash?