Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer

[Long_Before_Sunrise]

Under that baseboard gap.  Guess we'll have to burn the building down? *tail swish* You know, for spider reasons.

 

How is it September? How did it get to be 2021?

Edited September 3, 2021 by Long_Before_Sunrise

[Lovecats]

That's because you keep phasing in and out of reality, Sunrise! Please, stop drinking the ectoplasm. It's not good for you!

 

Help, I have such thick, frizzy hair! What can I do to fix my nightmare hair?

[catstaff]

If it's truly a nightmare hair, lucid dreaming might help. Or, you could just shave it all off. No hair, no problem!

 

Who tied my hands to the wheel?

[Long_Before_Sunrise]

Not me. Hooves make it too difficult.

 

So what if I'd rather drink ectoplasm than water?

[catstaff]

Well, it could be worse, but you'll glow in the dark and attract the attention of every cat in the vicinity.

 

What's the advantage of glowing in the dark and attracting all the cats?

[Long_Before_Sunrise]

Seizing control of Lovecats secret army.

 

Do you think I need a plan for the part that comes after that?

[catstaff]

Oh, absolutely... secret armies always need care and feeding. And in this place, probably lots of petting as well!

 

Do you really want to hurt me?

[Long_Before_Sunrise]

Only because you made me cry. 

 

Will you let me love and steal?

[catstaff]

Only if you need time to realise your crime.

 

That said, I have a loving heart and a soul for sale - do you want to buy them?

[Long_Before_Sunrise]

Sure, I need something to fill this hole.

 

You're not going to cone around begging for it back, right?

[catstaff]

Nah, I always keep a few spares handy.

 

Is that hole round or square?

[Long_Before_Sunrise]

It's a pentagon.

 

Do you know how to whittle?

[Lagie]

While I work? It's not allowed.

 

Did you have to?

[catstaff]

Of course not, but I wanted to.

 

Why didn't you?

[SomeRandomCorviknight]

Why did YOU?

 

why are school.

[catstaff]

Because it had to be done.

 

Why didn't it work?

[Long_Before_Sunrise]

Because corviks aren't fish. To school, you need to be underwater. This doesn't work well without gills and applying Rain-X to your feathers.

 

I don't feel well. Can I use you as a pillow?

[catstaff]

Sure, the cats already use me as a pillow... as long as you're not sick to your stomach, that is!

 

Why do I keep waking up at 3:45 when my alarm is for 5:00?

[Long_Before_Sunrise]

This is why.

 

Why am I waking up when you are?

 

[catstaff]

Because you're using me as a pillow, but when I wake up, I get up.

 

So why are you using me as a pillow again?

[Long_Before_Sunrise]

I like listening to the trapped souls screaming inside you. It's like being in The Burning Lands again.

 

Did they ever close that portal?

[SomeRandomCorviknight]

T-THAT WAS @catstaff'S joB

 

 

Where's the exit?

[catstaff]

I didn't close the portal because that IS the exit!

 

Didn't you get the memo?

[Long_Before_Sunrise]

They couldn't read it. It had a Corvikstoragecat paperweight on it.

 

Cats don't register to vote, so how is it they have all the guaranteed rights?

[catstaff]

Because they're deities, duh. Even the ancient Egyptians knew that.

 

Why don't you worship cats properly?