Single and child free by choice

[senyi]

Personally I hope something I post on facebook gets mommy jacked so I can post this gif from Attack of Titan that properly expresses my feelings about the issue.

No! Don't kick the baby!

Jk, jk.

 

Anyways, I really don't like how people keep pestering others to get settled down and have kids. This is basically my grandma at the moment with my uncle (she wants the family name to go on, or something). I feel kinda bad for him; it doesn't seem like that's going to happen anytime soon (from what I've seen).

Oh god, I hope my parents won't be like that when I'm older.

[Syaoransbear]

Also that gif omg Are those like... human children or titan children?

Just normal titans that are small and kind of resemble babies .

[Cecona]

Oh okay weird

[LADYDRAGONSKEEPER]

Some people at work heard me mention to friends how tired I was of a co-worker talking to me about dating. This guy had plans for at LEAST three kids.

I said wasn't looking for a relationship and didn't want kids . . . ever.

One of the older women went into lecture mode about how I needed to consider my future. I would need a spouse for company and kids to care for me in my old age. (having kid just for retirement insurance seems evil)

Here's the funny thing. This women is on her third divorce and constantly complaining about her kids who are all either in jail or constantly coming to her for money. Talk about the blind leading the deaf.

Edited September 26, 2013 by LADYDRAGONSKEEPER

[Pokemonfan13]

Wut? That is just crazy. If you're having a horrible experience with relationships and kids, you don't go telling other people that they have to find a partner and have babies.

[LADYDRAGONSKEEPER]

Wut? That is just crazy. If you're having a horrible experience with relationships and kids, you don't go telling other people that they have to find a partner and have babies.

No kidding. It's like people with problems think they can make other peoples lives work to make up for what went wrong for them.

I had another nosy biddy not talk to me for a week because when she asked 'why don't you date.'

I told her 'because I don't want to.'

She replies 'that's not a good reason'

I admit I lost my temper (Not happy about it but sometimes this gets annoying. When did a work place become a dating business.) I flat out told her 'Dating is a choice and if I don't want to then that's all the answer I need to have!'

[Husky51]

Good comeback, Lady D... Loved it...

 

I have said before that it is a persons choice as to whether they have kids or not and I firmly believe in that right...

 

I have to admit that my three kids, while not angels, were at least well behaved in public. I now, in my senior years, am helping two of them financially which isn't easy on social security and a small disability payment. That being said, as a caring parent I can do no other, especially when they are trying to help themselves. They are working on their problems and I give them credit for that.

 

Parenting is a life-long job and not to be taken lightly and I see many, many parents that shouldn't be parents.

 

Bottom line? If you don't want children, don't let anyone pressure you in to having any...

Edited September 26, 2013 by Husky51

[HeatherMarie]

I had another nosy biddy not talk to me for a week because when she asked 'why don't you date.'

I told her 'because I don't want to.'

She replies 'that's not a good reason'

I admit I lost my temper (Not happy about it but sometimes this gets annoying. When did a work place become a dating business.) I flat out told her 'Dating is a choice and if I don't want to then that's all the answer I need to have!'

Seriously?? Not a good reason? Omg let me headdesk a hundred times. That's... I'd actually kind of like to hear her reasoning for why you apparently MUST date.

[TikindiDragon]

Good comeback, Lady D... Loved it...

 

I have said before that it is a persons choice as to whether they have kids or not and I firmly believe in that right...

 

I have to admit that my three kids, while not angels, were at least well behaved in public. I now, in my senior years, am helping two of them financially which isn't easy on social security and a small disability payment. That being said, as a caring parent I can do no other, especially when they are trying to help themselves. They are working on their problems and I give them credit for that.

 

Parenting is a life-long job and not to be taken lightly and I see many, many parents that shouldn't be parents.

 

Bottom line? If you don't want children, don't let anyone pressure you in to having any...

What a brilliant post, Husky. It's always really nice to hear things like that from people of an older generation (than mine - I'm just about to hit 30).

[Pokemonfan13]

My worst "horrible parent" story is pretty bad. This is definitely one that I would put under "shouldn't even have kids". I was in a k-mart and noticed funny puddles in the isle I needed to look in. I turned the corner and discovered a lady talking on her cell phone with a kid sitting in the cart. This kid was maybe 6 [i'm really bad at guessing ages of kids, but it was an age that should know better]. It had a soda from a fast food joint and was sucking out of it and then spitting it down through the mesh bottom of the cart, leaving the funny puddles I had noticed, and a very sticky [and gross] cart I'm sure. For the mother to either a] not be keeping even enough of an eye on her kid to stop this behavior or b] not think this is absolutely inappropriate behavior, is inexcusable. I didn't confront her, but there was no answer she could have given that would have justified that situation.

[Cecona]

That reminds me of this video I saw of a mother in walmart. She had her daughter stand up in the cart in order to help get a shirt or something and then told her to sit down, but then without even giving her time to react the mom started pulling the cart and her daughter, who was still standing, fell backwards and out of the cart onto the hard tiled floor.

 

This woman gave people reason to follow and video tape her because of how she treated her child- who also happened to have a broken arm. And when she did that the people confronted her and the woman started yelling like "I told her to sit down! She is my child and it's none of your business!" and basically not paying much attention to her sobbing daughter.

 

There are parents that just don't know what they are doing- but honestly I think the parents I hate the most aside from the abusive kind, are the kind that take a no punishment stance to parenting and let their kids just do whatever and then make excuses like "Oh he's just expressing himself" Yea... he is expressing himself all over the place as he runs and screams and knocks out of other people's hands.

[Pokemonfan13]

I'm fine with no punishment as long as they can keep the kid well behaved with that philosophy. But no punishment as an excuse for being lazy and having a horrible kid is just bull.

 

Is it just me or should we make a "parenting" thread so we can stop derailing this one? x3 [or is there already one?]

 

Edit: Searched "parent" in topic titles, and got no hits. Making parenting thread.

Edited September 26, 2013 by Pokemonfan13

[Dracoscar]

Blugh. I don't want kids, I don't want to have sex, I don't even want a relationship. I have very little patience with my sister, and she's only 8, I think I'll kill myself by the time she turns into an angsty teenager (Not really, but you know what I mean). Bad temper is most likely going to lead into bad parent, and I don't want to condemn that little kid to a life of hell just 'cause I'm too nasty.

 

I'm also looking at the other kids in my school and I can say I hate a large majority of them. Occasionally you get some really nice kids but a lot of them are just so insensitive! They're out getting arrested, brushing off Ds and Fs like they're nothing, graffiti-ing school property, threats, all that junk. And this new trend about showing off your underwear to everyone... ew.

 

Last year in math my teacher was a big Calvin and Hobbes fan and had a couple books hanging around near the front door, so every once in a while I'd finish all the work I needed to do and read the ones I didn't have at home. I open up Something Under the Bed is Drooling, and what do I find?

 

Penises. Everywhere. >.< I'm sorry, but just... I don't want a kid like that. I don't want to add to the ever-growing collection of idiots out there.

 

But I don't want to disappoint my parents... my sister has autism, so the odds of her getting into a relationship are already very slim. My parents love kids, so they act like grandparents isn't even a question, it's just a thing that's going to happen because they expect so. And my friends act like not wanting to have sex in the future make me some kind of mutant freak

 

Just realized, looking at all this... Calvin and Hobbes is my favorite comic series, yet I'd hate to have a kid like Calvin.

 

EDIT: I am sooooooooooooooo sorry if I offended any autistic people.

Edited September 27, 2013 by Dracoscar

[Syaoransbear]

But I don't want to disappoint my parents... my sister has autism, so the odds of her getting into a relationship are already very slim.  My parents love kids, so they act like grandparents isn't even a question, it's just a thing that's going to happen because they expect so.

Please do not have children just because your parents want grandchildren.

[Cecona]

The showing the underwear thing isn't new, that's something that's been around for like more than a decade. And you shouldn't let your friends upset you because you don't want to have sex or be in a relationship. There are plenty of people out there that feel the same way, that they just have little to no interest in sex. And I agree with Syaoransbear about not letting your parents force you to have kids if you don't want any. They should be happy to have good kids and not crazy out of control kids.

 

Curious and off topic but do you know where your sister is on the autism spectrum?

[St. Jimmy]

Curious and off topic but do you know where your sister is on the autism spectrum?

I'm curious about this as well... autism doesn't necessarily mean you're unlikely to be in a relationship. (Speaking as an aspie having dated quite a few people and in a couple stable relationships at the moment.)

[Infinis]

The worst reason to be a parent is because someone else wants you to have children. Do not have children unless they are something you want, and have them when you're ready for the responsibility.

 

I personally hate children; well behaved ones I can deal with well. I don't tolerate screaming or crying very well and given that I don't exactly like cleaning up animal messes, I can't imagine having to clean up human baby messes. I'd actually rather just freeze some of my eggs and get sterilized (save eggs in case I change my mind later after all). And aside from that I wouldn't bear my own anyway...I have an unremitting fear of pain and I go to lengths to avoid things that hurt, so labor is out of the question.

 

I don't think I'm parent material anyway. I don't know about my brother.

 

As for relationships, unless I find someone who I really like so much, I don't really need one. I'd rather be getting established in my life before I start thinking about relationships and any of that, especially since I'm trying to go into medicine. I just don't forsee the time for any of these things. |D

[lightbird]

No kidding. It's like people with problems think they can make other peoples lives work to make up for what went wrong for them.

Or maybe it's a case of "how dare you have a happy and fullfilled life without making the sacrifices that I did and flaunt in front of me by merely existing".

[BlitzDrake]

Or maybe it's a case of "how dare you have a happy and fullfilled life without making the sacrifices that I did and flaunt in front of me by merely existing".

-____- I know so many adults like this around here. I've been called selfish because I hate kids and would rather die than have one (lockiphobic). And they dismiss my pointed out my phobia or if I had to have a kid I would be mentally dead. Their reaction "Ooooh that will change sweetie"...or "You can put it up for adoption" ....really? You're going to tell me I'm going to get over a phobia I've had for years, and why would I even want to spawn a kid just to put it up for adoption? First off, I'd rather NOT be miserable and suicidal for 9 months of my life, probs end up dead too..lol.

[eritated]

Yesterday, I was officially diagnosed with Primary Ciliary Dyskinesia. Basically, it's a rare genetic disease that I would not want to pass down to any child and put them through hell. I was explaining to my mom how even if I *wanted* kids, which I don't, and can't ever see myself wanting them, I wouldn't have them due to the reason I stated above. I also said how I wouldn't want them eating up all my money and getting nothing in return. She told me that it's a selfish reason not to have kids (the latter, not the former). I don't understand how not wanting kids because they, in my opinion, leech money off you is "selfish"

[Cecona]

Yesterday, I was officially diagnosed with Primary Ciliary Dyskinesia. Basically, it's a rare genetic disease that I would not want to pass down to any child and put them through hell. I was explaining to my mom how even if I *wanted* kids, which I don't, and can't ever see myself wanting them, I wouldn't have them due to the reason I stated above. I also said how I wouldn't want them eating up all my money and getting nothing in return. She told me that it's a selfish reason not to have kids (the latter, not the former). I don't understand how not wanting kids because they, in my opinion, leech money off you is "selfish"

I had to look up what PCD was, it really doesn't sound pleasant at all. I want to say something about the most extreme stuffy nose but that might be offensive? I know the feeling of having a genetic problem that you wouldn't want to pass on to any children you might have. Having a few myself I would feel bad for any child I had- especially if it was a girl because one of my problems is female exclusive and I have a 50% chance of passing it on to a female offspring.

[Pokemonfan13]

I don't have stellar genes either, but no actual genetic diseases.

 

Between diabetes and Alzheimer's in the family, as well as skin tags and an ingrown hair problem, all from my dad, I think it's best I take myself out of the gene pool. Plus the idea of being pregnant just really repulsive to me.

[MysticTiger]

“And in the end, we were all just humans drunk on the idea that love, only love, could heal our brokenness.”

— F. Scott Fitzgerald

 

This sums up my feelings entirely. I've noticed the more depressed I am, the more people are eager to push any man they can find onto me, completely ignoring the actual reason I am depressed (9 times out of 10 it's my crappy job). People are so convinced that a relationship will somehow "fix" me. That not wanting to be in a relationship is wrong and that i'm too shy. They disregard the fact that I don't want a relationship. I've has some really bad experiences with men who want to go out with me as well. They had problems with the word "no". I am not looking to get married and I certainly am not looking to have children. I'd adopt if I was financially and emotionally fit. And that's a BIG if.

 

Even if I WANTED to be in a relationship, which I don't, you know how hard it is to find a Heteroromantic male? Hahahaa.

Don't even get me started on trying to explain to people what heteroromantic is. If I hear one more person say "but sex is the only difference between friends and lovers" I may murder them on the spot.

 

Being in retail, I have a ton of stories about terrible parenting. Just the other day, a dad let his two sons use the power scooters (the ones for handicapped people to use to sit and shop) to race around and play bumper cars with. And then, they took them outside, raced them in the parking lot and LEFT THEM. My manager decided not to say anything because the kids were with a parent but I was PEEVED. If I had the authority, I would have kicked those kids off of those scooters so fast.

Edited September 27, 2013 by MysticTiger

[Cecona]

Wow... just wow. I remember being so tempted to ride one of those things when I was younger, but I knew it was wrong and that only those that needed them could use them. I actually was able to use one when I ate a whole bunch of raw mushrooms and had the most painful case of gas. It was so painful I couldn't walk and I rode one when my dad and I went to the grocery store for some GasX

[Dracoscar]

Curious and off topic but do you know where your sister is on the autism spectrum?

I'm not sure if it counts as high or low on a "spectrum", but she does talk to people. A lot. But the stuff she says is kind of odd and just... weird? I guess? You ask her how her day was, she'll say "Fine", drop the subject completely and then go on and on for hours about The Fairly OddParents and cats and all that stuff. I don't think she'll end up in a relationship because I don't think anyone will relate to or find interest in Timmy Turner getting grounded grounded grounded grounded grounded for 3942397492 centuries.