Corrupt-A-Wish

[Melomancer]

Granted! It only works after you've dropped the soap at least twice.

 

I wish for a cat!

[blackgem14]

Granted! It scratches you.

 

I wish my computer would stop lagging.

[LittleTinyDragon]

Granted. The computer becomes overly fast. You cannot keep up with it, and you go insane.

 

I wish for a strawberry.

[LupusEques]

Granted, you get a rotten strawberry that has dried out to become 1/10 its size and get covered in mold.

 

I wish to lick a plastic arglefertenary turglepert

[Nivvekk]

Granted. After licking it you are informed that it came out of an Ebola ward in Africa; it was brought in with a patient.

 

I wish I was immortal.

[LittleTinyDragon]

Granted. However, you must die to become immortal. You are now dead.

 

I wish for a non-rotten strawberry.

[blackgem14]

Granted. It still has mold on it. The poor strawberry.

 

I wish for a desk lamp.

[Nivvekk]

Granted. But it's a foreign lamp and it doesn't work on the US power grid.

 

I wish for another wish.

[C88]

Granted, but the new wish is a bad one and you end up wishing you melted.

I wish that I never have to pee again.

[Melomancer]

Granted. But now poop comes out from where you pee once came from.

 

I wish that I could move things with my mind.

[LupusEques]

Granted, the only place you can move them is directly above your head, "Hey guys! I bet I can lift this 1 ton weight with my mind!" *CRUNCH*

 

I wiss 4 noa moar gremmur!!?!

[C88]

Granted, but now nobody can understand anybody and the world descends into chaos.

I wish for an unlimited supply of cooked pork.

[Nivvekk]

Granted. You have just gained 150 pounds!

 

I wish for an couple of extra hours at night so I can sleep more.

[C88]

Granted, but now all the settings of time everywhere glitch out, and you are killed for being the cause.

I wish for a video game with endless possibilities.

[Nivvekk]

Granted. You play a kick a-- game through awesome levels and spectacular weapons and moves. As you enter the chamber of the final boss, the games next awesome ability kicks in and you are pulled from the real world and enter the game in real life. In front I've you is a five heard dragon. One head is breathing fire. Another head is drooling a very acidic fluid. All of you characters armor is gone and your standing there buck naked. In your hand where you sword should gave been is... A DEAD FISH!!! The dragon charges you.

 

Good luck!

 

I wish for a 5 headed dragon

Edited December 1, 2014 by Nivvekk

[Melomancer]

You get torn apart in five different directions.

 

I wish for world peace!

[C88]

Granted, but the world starts dying from overpopulation and old nuclear weapons pollute the water.

I wish for shapeshifting powers

[blackgem14]

Granted, but you can only shapeshift into a handful of things, and none of them are fun.

 

I wish I was a dragon that could shapeshift into a human, and thus hide as a human most of the time. It'd be cool.

[Nivvekk]

Granted, you fall in live as a human with a dragon hunter. One day he sees you in your dragon form. No knowing it's you, bang! Your dead.

 

I wish I had a time machine.

[Melomancer]

It takes you into the jaws of a hungry t-Rex on your first attempt at time travel

 

I wish for another hunger games book.

[C88]

Granted, but the new book is so awful that it's a crime to own one, and you are arrested.

I wish for an unlimited supply of Lucky Charms (the cereal).

Edited December 2, 2014 by C88

[Nivvekk]

Granted but they have discontinued the marshmallows.

 

I wish I could have gone to Hogworts

[LupusEques]

Granted, you go to a farm where all the hogs have warts.

 

I wish I could remember what I was going to do... Oh wait I remembered! I guess I need to wish for something else then

 

I wish for lots of pie that had dead ants baked in.

[C88]

Granted, but the pie wasn't cooked properly and the ants start crawling onto you and biting you.

I wish for grammar nazis

[Path Light]

Granted. You have poor grammar instead

I wish what dinosaurs are real