Corrupt-A-Wish

[Lovecats]

Granted, but it has all the real emotional capabilities of a child, meaning it is completely dependent on your for its care, well-being and longevity. Any tournaments you enrol it in will slap you in prison for animal rights abuses and have your pokemon taken away from you.

 

I wish I had no coursework.

[Long_Before_Sunrise]

You are now quadriplegic.

 

I wish someone would wash all the laundry for me.

[Fuzzbucket]

And they do - in boiling water and your clothes are now almost big enough for a teddy bear to wear.

 

I wish I weren't so tired all the time.

[Long_Before_Sunrise]

You now have the metabolism of a hummingbird, and the aggression.

 

I wish my clothes were their normal size again.

[Lovecats]

Granted, but normality doesn't exist anymore so your clothes now constantly phase between sizes, as favoured by some illegible law of quantum physics.

 

I want to be a bird for a day.

[HangeZoe]

Alright, your a bird for today, but today, a hawk is gonna swoop down and eat your guts. 
 

I wish to have my own haptic chair and body suit, along with a high tech OASIS console and visor. (From Ready Player One if you didn’t know)

[Lovecats]

Granted, but you're stuck on the tutorial island thanks to a lesser known glitch (and the devs won't do anything about it.)

 

I seek ice cream. Lots of it.

[Long_Before_Sunrise]

You find it a bit late.

 

Spoiler

 

I wish someone would cook me a meal.

Edited May 11, 2021 by Long_Before_Sunrise

[Lovecats]

Granted, but the meal is suited for algae. I bring you a lamp.

 

I wish I could have more eggslots.

[Long_Before_Sunrise]

Done. They send transport links to TJ's take and leave page when an egg is picked up. 

 

I wish I was someone else entirely.

[SomeRandomCorviknight]

Granted, you are now the alternate universe version of you where you decided to wear a green shirt on the 5 of September 2018.

I wish i stopped forgetting my passwords

 

[_Ro_]

Granted, but you can only ever use the april fools full kanji keyboard to type them from now on. 

 

I wish my hamsters would live forever.

[Long_Before_Sunrise]

Granted, but, as the Greek myth of Tithonos points out, eternal life is not guaranteed to come in a box set with eternal youth.

 

I wish we had translations of Norse myths from before Snorri wrote his interpretation.

[KittyloverWV]

The myths are really nasty. 

 

I wish that this tablet won't crash!

[Trebonth]

That tablet will now freeze and softlock and have all other errors combined but not crash.

I wish for immortality.

[Brite]

Granted, but you're sick and frail 24/7. You'll never perish though!

 

I wish I had an endless supply of McDonald's fries. 

 

[Edenello]

Granted. Every conceivable container you open for the rest of your life will have a fresh batch of fries in it instead of what your are looking for. Including your fridge, clothes dresser, random tupperware, etc.

 

I wish I had telekinetic powers.

[Long_Before_Sunrise]

Granted. You can move a single aluminum drink can with your powers if you try real hard.

 

I wish for a rainstorm.

[Lagie]

Granted. Don't forget to call Noah for an ark, though.

 

I wish for the annoying distant music to stop.

[Edenello]

Granted. Except now there's no more music, and anyone who tries to play or make music will have their speakers or instrument break immediately.

 

I wish for a bag of cheddar and kettle corn popcorn mix.

[Lovecats]

You are now the bag of cheddar and kettle corn popcorn mix. Enjoy!

 

I wish for less rain.

[Edenello]

Have fun with the drought! It's not gonna rain for another 100 years

 

I wish my headache would go away.