Corrupt-A-Wish

[Brotato]

But, they are. They're just extinct. ...what the hell?

 

I wish I was a master at using Linux OS.

Edited December 2, 2014 by Brotato

[Nivvekk]

Granted, right before Linux is replaced with a new version that is a total redo and none of the old commands or procedures still work.

 

I wish for a date with Angelina Jolie, while Brad Pitt is on the set of a movie that is half way around the world.

Edited December 2, 2014 by Nivvekk

[Brotato]

Granted. You get stood up, and Brad Pitt was on set for an "adult film" with your closest female family relative, involving whips and handcuffs.

 

I wish for the perfect dinner.

Edited December 2, 2014 by Brotato

[Kyleedj]

Granted, but its not for you. It is given to the neighboring squirrels.

 

I wish for Justin Beiber to be deported to Canada.

[Brotato]

Granted. But we don't want it either, so it mysteriously disappears as it is crossing the Canadian border and is never seen again. I guess I have to corrupt this, sadly. Uhhh... it releases one last album before it gets brutally murdered deported.

 

I wish I could understand women.

Edited December 2, 2014 by Brotato

[LoveLoveNightmare]

Granted, you will become a woman tomorrow and spend the rest of your life as that so that you will know what they think like.

 

I wish I could fly.

[C88]

Granted, you fly off into space and are never heard from again.

I wish for an unlimited supply of KFC

[Brotato]

Granted. You suffer a greaser fat induced heart attack after eating all that fried chicken the next day and die.

 

I wish for a console that could play any game.

[LoveLoveNightmare]

Granted, that console is so smart it overtakes your brain.

 

I wish for a pet chicken

[MackerTibbs]

Granted, but he beats you at checkers and chess every time.

 

I wish for a pet Parasaurolophus

[Nivvekk]

Granted. You receive a pet goldfish named Parasaurolophus.

 

I wish I was 21 again

[LoveLoveNightmare]

Granted, you will be never aging and stuck at 21, forced to watch everyone you care about age and pass on.

 

I wish to be able to eat whatever I want

[C88]

Granted, now whenever you want a solid inanimate object, you go and get it and then eat it.

Enjoy the horrible indigestion!

I wish for 100 gold-wrapped bars of chocolate.

[SUP3RSPAWN3R]

Your chocolate is now covered in molten gold.

 

I wish for a potato.

[C88]

Granted, but its so rotten it's 80% mold and the other 20% is bugs.

Enjoy!

I wish for a working water balloon cannon.

[LupusEques]

Granted, it is aiming at you.

 

I wish for hugz 4 pugz

[C88]

Granted, but the pugs are feral and attack you.

I wish for edible bars of soap that taste as good as they smell.

[LupusEques]

Granted, you die from eating them.

 

I wish I didn't have straight A's, I want straight F's!

[blackgem14]

Granted! You get expelled, and due to your lack of further education the only job you can get is driving a bakery truck for the rest of your life. You find out soon enough that you have Celiac disease and cannot even sample your cargo/

 

I wish for a Mercedes-Benz S Class in silver, that actually runs and is modern enough to be pretty.

[C88]

Granted, it has legs so it can run and has lipstick and makeup on.

I wish for the earth to blow up.

[Melomancer]

Granted, but then the entirety of humanity colonizes mars. They kick you out into space for blowing up earth.

 

I wish for a pet bird that won't poop on me, scream, make loud noises or attack people.

[Path Light]

Granted. It makes noises

I wish Darien can stop hitting me with his shovel

[SUP3RSPAWN3R]

He stops for a second, then keeps hitting you.

 

I wish I could play the guitar.

[blackgem14]

Granted, but you can't afford a guitar.

 

I wish I wasn't confined to a stupid little keyboard with only 4 octaves and not all the keys playable!

[Nivvekk]

Granted, on your new keyboard all the keys work but it only has 1 octave!

 

I wish I had a sink proof boat