Gender and Gender Identity

[7Deadly$ins]

I'm kinda weird too. Biologically I'm a female, but I can count the times I've put on makeup on the fingers of one hand. I don't dress up, I hate shopping, I never do my hair, etc etc. I wouldn't mind being a guy at all - in fact there are times when I wish I'd been born a dude. I love the smell of men's cologne, my favorite color is blue, and I'm pansexual but with a preference for men.

 

But I still don't feel like I AM a man, or that my preferences somehow make me less... feminine. I just dislike stereotypes in general. SO, stereotypically I guess I'm not a "typical" female, but technically there is no such thing as a "typical" anyone. Think about it. Would you call someone a typical black person or a typical Mexican?

If it's considered racist to say stuff like that, why is it okay to call someone else a "typical" man or woman?

 

Just my thoughts, I guess...

It isn't about that. Your gender norm behavior has nothing to do with your gender identity. You could be the most stereotypically "manly" biological man and still identify as a female.

[Shienvien]

I've said it before and I'll say it again: what you are like and what you like have NOTHING to do with your gender.

Whichever gender has all the right to like whatever s/he does like.

 

Guy who likes wearing makeup and pink dresses, taking care of children and shopping? Why not?

[Completely Different]

I'm kinda weird too. Biologically I'm a female, but I can count the times I've put on makeup on the fingers of one hand. I don't dress up, I hate shopping, I never do my hair, etc etc. I wouldn't mind being a guy at all - in fact there are times when I wish I'd been born a dude. I love the smell of men's cologne, my favorite color is blue, and I'm pansexual but with a preference for men.

 

But I still don't feel like I AM a man, or that my preferences somehow make me less... feminine. I just dislike stereotypes in general. SO, stereotypically I guess I'm not a "typical" female, but technically there is no such thing as a "typical" anyone. Think about it. Would you call someone a typical black person or a typical Mexican?

If it's considered racist to say stuff like that, why is it okay to call someone else a "typical" man or woman?

 

Just my thoughts, I guess...

What's "stereotypical" for a gender really doesn't have all that much to do with what gender you identify with. There are plenty of cis-woman who don't enjoy shopping or make-up or or traditionally feminine stuff, but who still identify as woman- my self included.

 

For example, I have a friend who's ftm trans. In some ways, he's much more into traditionally "feminine" pursuits than me; he's much more into fashion, art and stuff like that. He's also definitely a guy, no doubt about it, regardless of his birth sex or hobbies.

 

Just remember that gender roles are fluid. They change over time, place and society.

Edited November 26, 2012 by Completely Different

[esnym]

Ohe dear. X) I was typing at 3 AM, and what I wanted to say just kinda came out wrong.

 

 

What I meant to say is, people frequently assume I should identify as a man because of the way I am, but I really don't. I hate people who go around pointing fingers at guys who like pink or girls who fix cars and call them less masculine/feminine because of their preferences alone.

 

I just find it sort of silly when people try to categorize others as 'typically' feminine or masculine, grouping their behaviors and pointing them out. Like, when people see me and tell me "I should act more like a girl." Or, my favorite, "Aren't you worried people are going to think you're a lesbian?" Gender and sexuality are not the same thing, so no matter how 'manly' I act, it has no bearing on either one of those things. Categorizing the color pink as 'feminine' is just another bull**** (and relatively new) cultural construct.

[Alpha Gryph]

"Aren't you worried people are going to think you're a lesbian?"

I had people tell me that too (before they found out I was actually a lesbian ). All I thought was...why would someone have to worry if people thought they were a lesbian anyways? If you aren't actually a lesbian and someone asks you just say "nope!" and move on...not that big a deal.

 

So if a man or a woman has a good personality and similar morals then I think that is all that should count, not what is between their legs or lack there of. To me that's on the same scale as only being attracted to someone for a physical characteristic and very superficial.

 

I have to say, I greatly dislike when people talk like this. I used to have a friend (who thankfully isn't my friend anymore) who called me "prejudiced" because I won't date guys....I'm a lesbian. I'm not attracted to the male physique, and if I'm going to form a relationship with someone, I need to be able to have a physical attraction to them. I just can't do that with a male (trust me, I've tried when I scared of being knowing I was gay).

 

It's just somewhat hurtful that people think that somehow makes me shallow.

[Shienvien]

Oddly enough, pink doesn't seem to be considered "feminine" color around here, as I've seen about the same amount of boys/guys wearing pink or purple shirts as I've seen girls/women. Which I for one, consider a perfectly normal thing.

 

I am a bit on the same boat with you esnym (meaning I do not fit the stereotype), however I have been living in a freeminded enough society for no one except my own grandparents to ever suggest I should try to act or look more 'feminine'. Granted, I do have very long hair, for instance, but that *isn't* a feminine trait. I just happen to like long hair ... especially on guys.

 

 

 

Also, I am strictly straight to the point of my brain lacking an opinion on what is or is not attractive in a woman altogether .. it's just that I look at a person and from the moment onward my brain concludes it's another female she is excluded as someone whom I could feel romantically or physically attracted to.

So... Yes, a person's sex does affect what kind or relationship one can have with that person. It is not something that can be consciously chosen - a heterosexual can be very good friends with someone from the same sex, but never physically love the other. (Refer to the sexuality thread.)

Edited November 26, 2012 by Shienvien

[Shienvien]

Well, there even was a time over here when short hair was only present on slaves and newly-married women, to think of it... (Meaning that long hair *was* the norm for men.)

 

Also, I've heard that in old Mesopotamia, men pretty much used to wear skirts and women pants.

 

Blue used to be 'girlish', pink 'boyish' in the western culture as late as at the beginning of 20th century.

 

 

Eh, what do you say ... it's all just current fashion, that's all.

[esnym]

Oh, I love long hair on guys. Seriously. Like, a lot.

 

Which, by the way, brings up an excellent point. Certain things that are considered masculine or feminine in one culture are the opposite (or irrelevant) in a another. Which, in my opinion, is just further proof that no habit/hobby whatever is inherently A Guy Thing or A Girl Thing. Humans are just stubborn in categorizing that way. And to think that somehow a person's gender or sexuality is defined by those things is just... silly.

[Shato]

I have to say, I greatly dislike when people talk like this.  I used to have a friend (who thankfully isn't my friend anymore) who called me "prejudiced" because I won't date guys....I'm a lesbian.  I'm not attracted to the male physique, and if I'm going to form a relationship with someone, I need to be able to have a physical attraction to them.  I just can't do that with a male (trust me, I've tried when I scared of being knowing I was gay).

 

It's just somewhat hurtful that people think that somehow makes me shallow.

I completely understand your point, and I don't think you're shallow. Of course if you're going to be with someone you need to be at least somewhat physically attracted. I was trying more specifically for the point to just be about the reproductive parts. I am capable of dating a guy but won't because of my own issues with men. I'd say some men are nice to look at or perhaps maybe it's just envy but I've never looked at a guy in a sexual sort of way ever and I can understand when you say you're not attracted to the male form. I am honestly not really attracted to the female form either but for whatever reason I prefer women to men.

[Sarahswati]

I'm transgender also. I am genetically male but female otherwise.

[kiffren]

I'm transgender also. I am genetically male but female otherwise.

There are a surprisingly large number of trans* folk on this forum. (Actually there are rather large number of LGBT anyones.)

 

To those of you who are trans*, what is your opinion on SRS and HRT? As in, will you ever do both/either or have you already done both/either? Please no graphic details, this is a pg-13 forum.

[Sarahswati]

There are a surprisingly large number of trans* folk on this forum. (Actually there are rather large number of LGBT anyones.)

 

To those of you who are trans*, what is your opinion on SRS and HRT? As in, will you ever do both/either or have you already done both/either? Please no graphic details, this is a pg-13 forum.

I'd like to do HRT, but it's too expensive for me right now. SRS, I don't know. I'd have to cross that bridge later.

[TikindiDragon]

There are a surprisingly large number of trans* folk on this forum. (Actually there are rather large number of LGBT anyones.)

 

To those of you who are trans*, what is your opinion on SRS and HRT? As in, will you ever do both/either or have you already done both/either? Please no graphic details, this is a pg-13 forum.

Ideally I'd do both, although for reasons I'm not going into I'm not currently looking at either.

[crazyflower]

There are a surprisingly large number of trans* folk on this forum. (Actually there are rather large number of LGBT anyones.)

 

To those of you who are trans*, what is your opinion on SRS and HRT? As in, will you ever do both/either or have you already done both/either? Please no graphic details, this is a pg-13 forum.

 

I'm FTM and I just started HRT two weeks ago. I inject myself with testosterone once a week.

I may get some "excess tissue" removed eventually.

 

If you transition you only need to do what makes you happy. Everyone's transition is different.

[luckynicole659]

I am physically a girl and feel mentally like a girl.

 

 

[Wookieinmashoo]

I try to start one conversation about the idea of gender neutral and my so takes it to mean asexuality, which again, I am reminded that it's unnatural and "sub-human". Oh, and apparently people who identify as gender neutral are messed up in the head.

[Wild]

I really don't mind whatever people call me, he, she and so forth. I don't specifically identify as something and I usually tell people I am genetically female, but I have no regard of it being my identity and no regard of any other being my specific identity. So basically, I insist on people calling by any pronoun they want, be it neutral or not. I believe gender and sex is unimportant when referring to me. As is, I am not experienced with the differing words for differing gender identities and so I can not place what this makes me.

 

I have no issues or concerns with people who are any gender identity, it does not alter my view of people as anything more or less than, well, people. I do not think identifying as something automatically gives you a set personality or any sort. I believe that stereotyping is best be avoided in any scenario.

[Starscream]

I respond to both pronouns and I use both in reference to myself. I have long since decided I am a man or gay man in a woman's body. Sometimes I think of myself as a giant robot in a human body.

 

I like my men, I quite often forget I am female until I look down and spot my "blessings". In irc people get confused if I do pronoun swap but I don't care if they think I am male or female because in my mind I am easily both. I have told my husband this and I have also mentioned it to my mother.

 

 

[Kishing]

FtM genderqueer here, meaning I'd like to get HRT and at least one surgery (not likely given my other medical conditions, sigh), but I'd still be a pretty femme guy.

[PointOfOrigin]

I've gotten lucky end ended up as a cisgender. To be honest, I've never really thought about gender identity. It's just not ome of the talked about things here. I know a lot of high scoolers who've heard about ii for the first time a couple of weeks ago, and even that is only because we've gotten sociology and because church here threw a fit over sex education.

[Riverwillows]

My son is a MtF transgender, and prefers the referred to as "she". She prefers girls but considers herself bisexual, in that she will not turn away love based on genitalia. She currently has a boyfriend.

 

She will be starting hormone treatment next month in March, and someday, we hope to be able to afford the Full Operation for her.

 

She does currently hide her true self around my family, as they are completely myopic and medieval on the subject.

 

I'd never heard the term "cisgender" til now, but I approve, it sounds less offensive than saying "I'm normal", which gives off the impression that anything but heterosexual is abnormal, which I do not believe.

 

So from now on, I'm referring to myself as a cisgender parent of a MtF transgender. Gee, that sound so much more "normal" to me. lol

Edited February 17, 2013 by Riverwillows

[dustpuppy]

Riverwillows that attitude is wonderful, I wish every child could have a parent like you (transgender or not).

 

If I read studies saying "men tend to think/act like this and women like that" (which I'd always take with a pinch of salt anyway) I usually think like a man, and I like computer games and hate shopping but I never felt like a man in a female body, just like a female who happens to like random things and think random thoughts, many of which happen to be shared by more men than women (or so statistics say ).

Some people treat me like I'm failing at being a girl and I'm just a "normal-as-can-be cisgender" female. I can't begin to imagine what a transgendered person would have to put up with.

[kiffren]

My son is a MtF transgender, and prefers the referred to as "she". She prefers girls but considers herself bisexual, in that she will not turn away love based on genitalia. She currently has a boyfriend.

 

She will be starting hormone treatment next month in March, and someday, we hope to be able to afford the Full Operation for her.

 

She does currently hide her true self around my family, as they are completely myopic and medieval on the subject.

 

I'd never heard the term "cisgender" til now, but I approve, it sounds less offensive than saying "I'm normal", which gives off the impression that anything but heterosexual is abnormal, which I do not believe.

 

So from now on, I'm referring to myself as a cisgender parent of a MtF transgender. Gee, that sound so much more "normal" to me. lol

Will you be my mother?

 

Please?

 

My own parents are convinced that anyone who is trans* has something wrong with them and needs to get that fixed. It took them two, almost three, years to accept that I'm gay and that there is nothing wrong with me liking girls. My mom is still convinced it's a genetic disorder.

[ChocolateIzzy]

Sex: Female

Mental: Female

When I was younger I was a tomboy now that I'm becoming a teenager I'm becoming more girly. I wear dresses more makeup etc...

[wonton55912]

Sex: Female

Mental: Confused...

 

Sometimes I like identifying as a guy, others as a girl, I really dunno what that's called.