Gender Identity Safe Space Thread

[brisingrrider1]

@oddinomaly: Wow, those kintype experiences sound pretty intense. I admit I've had little to no contact with people who identify as such, even if only a part of them does. (I myself am cis, but have recently been beginning to feel as if I'm more genderfluid)

 

I think this is something you could definitely look into, either on your own, with a friend, or with a professional. It could also be possible that you have a sort of mental disorder like multiple personalities, like the median idea you've brought up. However, I've been told that feels more like multiple voices at once in a host's body. So perhaps not what you're speaking of.

 

I wish you luck in your research!

[rabbithaver]

Multiple personalities is actually referred to now as Dissociative Identity Disorder, since the alternate 'personalities' are actually completely different and separate identities. I know for a fact I don't have it, as I have many friends who do, and believe me when I say our experiences just don't line up. I don't think I'd want them to, honestly. It sounds like a very difficult thing to live with from what they've said about their headmates. It's not really a negative disorder, either. It's more of an... atypical way of being. I don't know how to describe it. There are people who think it's scary (and it can be if you don't know much about it) that condemn it as a bad thing, but... really it's just different.

 

I do have a lot of friends in the otherkin community who have memories of past lives as well, which is nice. It gives us something to talk about, and when it comes to other fictionkin who share my canon (basically they're from the same universe as I was, and in that past life we share memories of meeting each other and whatnot. It feels a lot like really strong deja vu) it's like meeting family members I haven't seen in awhile.

 

Also I don't know if you know this but kintypes aren't gender. I'm nonbinary. No real otherkin would claim that otherkin is a gender. The ones that do are trolls.

Edited April 30, 2015 by oddinomaly

[Gsea]

Also I don't know if you know this but kintypes aren't gender. I'm nonbinary. No real otherkin would claim that otherkin is a gender. The ones that do are trolls.

lol, glad you said this, because I was about to~

Anyway, in my very humble opinion - very humble because I identify as cis (not necessarily very feminine but a female nonetheless) and therefore you can absolutely 100% ignore my input regarding gender identities that I don't actually have personal experience with - it sounds like you may be vaguely symptomatic of multiple personality disorder, maybe not so much that you could actually be diagnosed with it, but I believe that all disorders are spectrums and so maybe you fall somewhere on that spectrum. Like, I don't really subscribe to the "otherkin" thing, nor do I subscribe to multiverse theory, so we differ there. It just seems to me like you have multiple personalities (this, I can most definitely relate to! I don't have multiple personality disorder but I believe many people can relate to feeling as though they are many different people within one person, it's just a part of human complexity) and you happen to be more tuned into these personalities than the average person and they seem to have been influenced by fictional characters, which you have interpreted to mean that you ARE those characters in another universe, whereas I, with my own beliefs and again my humble opinion, see it as just your very unique way of classifying your "multiple personalities" - again, I believe most people have "multiple personalities" because it is in our nature to think differently, act differently, feel differently at different times, and it is in our nature to be influenced by people, characters, situations etc. which helps to shape multiple personae that we can switch between.

 

Agh. Long wordy post. But yeah, I 100% respect your feelings, and you are far more qualified to discuss them than I am, but these are just my thoughts. :3

[rabbithaver]

That's a really interesting interpretation. It seems pretty sound, though I feel that there is still a spiritual aspect to my experiences as well. It's interesting, that's for sure.

 

As far as having different personalities, I don't think that really works, since so many cases of multiple personalities involve a notable difference in behavior. ...Which I am now realizing works really well for me. Huh.

 

I have really only been diagnosed with anxiety, depression, PTSD, ADD and autsim (whew a lot of labels) and none of my therapists or psychiatrists have had reason to believe I've got anything else. I hoard labels, but I think I have enough for now

[Obscure_Trash]

Bump just in case.

[Switch]

i guess this is related but i finally got my top surgery scheduled in a few months and im so happy!! im gonna feel so much better about myself after this and i feel like im actually making progress in transitioning finally

[Rhaegal3370]

Hey, we've got our own thread, nice! I'm AFAB masculine-expressing nonbinary. Closest term for my identity I guess would be agender, but I don't feel like it really fits. I just don't do gender. They/them pronouns are preferred, but he/him is okay too, it's what I use IRL when I don't feel like explaining nonbinary gender.

 

i guess this is related but i finally got my top surgery scheduled in a few months and im so happy!! im gonna feel so much better about myself after this and i feel like im actually making progress in transitioning finally

 

Congrats, that's so awesome!

[Dr. Paine]

So ah

 

Over the last couple... years, really, I've been really questioning my gender and all and over the summer I've officially come out as nonbinary-- closer to agender the more I roll with it (because hey over twenty years of trying to be a girl do leave an impact whether one likes it or not |D), but for now I just prefer going as nb \o/

 

Taken a major preference to they/them pronouns/neutral titles and the like, though I'm still fine with she/her for pronouns as well \o/

 

[Obscure_Trash]

Sex = gender, sex = gender, sex = gender. I am agender with an agender body. I am agender and so is my body. My body is agender because I am agender.

 

*shivers and shakes off icky feelings* Whoo, I feel a little better now. >_e

[Riverwillows]

Socky, me luv, you are what your personality is. Physical and brain chemical aside, you are a wonderful person, and I am honored to know you.

 

And this goes for all you wonderful people out there, regardless of gender/sex/physicality/mentality. All of you are worthy human beings.

Edited January 28, 2016 by Riverwillows

[Moonwick]

It'll be okay, Sock. You are A+ agender 100% guaranteed.

[Obscure_Trash]

Aah, thanks, both of you! <3

[Paintra]

So... I came out as nonbinary to a large group of people today, including my father.

 

He didn't respond negatively, which is good, but I'm also worried that he'll tell the rest of my family and then they'll react negatively.

 

But that's beside the point! I'm also finally correcting all of my gender stuff on the DC forums! It's essentially like my "coming out" on the forums. I'm really proud of myself!

 

[Obscure_Trash]

So... I came out as nonbinary to a large group of people today, including my father.

 

He didn't respond negatively, which is good, but I'm also worried that he'll tell the rest of my family and then they'll react negatively.

 

But that's beside the point! I'm also finally correcting all of my gender stuff on the DC forums! It's essentially like my "coming out" on the forums. I'm really proud of myself!

 

Nice! *high five* Glad you're experiencing some goodness out of coming out!

[Moonwick]

i always struggle with my gender. feeling I'm a girl is something i have, but while i feel that way i also feel strongly i really have no gender, which is why i called myself bigender.

 

however, i find myself getting dysphoric with my body. i wish to be more "masculine" sometimes but i am not a man (sorry for cisnormative wording) I've been confused lately on that...

 

maybe im just strictly nonbinary, i dunno :/ also thought of genderfluid, but i don't feel it

[andromedae]

I personally find it quite stressful when people refuse to acknowledge the fact that there are more than two genders. Why is it so hard to accept that people can identify as something different than what society pre-establishes as the norm? Usually, they express this disagreement about the existence of a wider variety of genders with rudeness and disrespect. I just want to support everyone in general to be whatever they are comfortable with being in terms of gender identity. Everyone has a right to be themselves and we, as a society must respect that.

Edited August 3, 2016 by andromedae

[Moonwick]

I personally find it quite stressful when people refuse to acknowledge the fact that there are more than two genders. Why is it so hard to accept that people can identify as something different than what society pre-establishes as the norm? Usually, they express this disagreement about the existence of a wider variety of genders with rudeness and disrespect. I just want to support everyone in general to be whatever they are comfortable with being in terms of gender identity. Everyone has a right to be themselves and we, as a society must respect that.

i find this stressful too, people tend not to understand yet. i've found more and more people do understand though recently and that's great

 

it makes me anxious when i tell people that i'm nonbinary (or whatever the heck I am.. still confused about it right now), but it shouldn't make me anxious to say that though. its just who i am

 

my learning disabilities makes gender hard for me to grasp for some reason. so being mostly genderless is nice, i wish more people could realize that people identify with certain things for a strong reason, not just because they want to be cool or something, which is the common way people are rude about it

 

not even like it's a bad thing that you think your gender is cool anyway P: some people get past dysphoria by celebrating themselves and really exaggerating gender and gender expression. thats pretty cool in my opinion

[andromedae]

i find this stressful too, people tend not to understand yet. i've found more and more people do understand though recently and that's great

 

it makes me anxious when i tell people that i'm nonbinary (or whatever the heck I am.. still confused about it right now), but it shouldn't make me anxious to say that though. its just who i am

 

my learning disabilities makes gender hard for me to grasp for some reason. so being mostly genderless is nice, i wish more people could realize that people identify with certain things for a strong reason, not just because they want to be cool or something, which is the common way people are rude about it

 

not even like it's a bad thing that you think your gender is cool anyway P: some people get past dysphoria by celebrating themselves and really exaggerating gender and gender expression. thats pretty cool in my opinion

I'm glad to hear that you've been able to find individuals who are both respectful and supportive Things like gender identity are super personal and no one really has a say in what you decide to be. It's pretty brave of you to be able to embrace your identity or questioning status openly, as people can be quite judgmental when it comes to these matters.

[Seel]

Ooh I didn't know this thread existed!

 

I myself am not 100% sure if I'm agender or just a trans male (I just know im not a girl/cis lol), but it's nice to see friendly faces here!

 

I haven't come out to many and definitely not to anybody that would have a huge impact on my life if things were to go badly - in fact, I've only come out to other trans friends or people who I've met at parties hosted by said trans friends.

 

I'm dying to come out to my parents because I've squeezed out just about all the patience I have for being misgendered and having to pretend everything is A-OK and that nothing is amiss, and I'm really desperate to see a GIC to help me with passing because dysphoria is just fun fun fun! (sarcasm)

 

But I know for a fact that my parents (especially my mom) disapproves of trans people, one time we were discussing gender surgery (I can't remember why exactly BUT w/e), and at one point she scowls and says "are you telling me you want gender reassignment surgery or something?" in the most loathing voice, so of course I quickly reply "no, no!"

 

It's a sticky situation, I don't have a job because of physical disability so I can't afford to be kicked out or anything like that, so ofc if anyone has coming out tips (even just links) I'd greatly appreciate it!

 

(I don't even feel that comfortable typing this out bc that's how nervous I am RIP)

[Moonwick]

Ooh I didn't know this thread existed!

 

I myself am not 100% sure if I'm agender or just a trans male (I just know im not a girl/cis lol), but it's nice to see friendly faces here!

 

I haven't come out to many and definitely not to anybody that would have a huge impact on my life if things were to go badly - in fact, I've only come out to other trans friends or people who I've met at parties hosted by said trans friends.

 

I'm dying to come out to my parents because I've squeezed out just about all the patience I have for being misgendered and having to pretend everything is A-OK and that nothing is amiss, and I'm really desperate to see a GIC to help me with passing because dysphoria is just fun fun fun! (sarcasm)

 

But I know for a fact that my parents (especially my mom) disapproves of trans people, one time we were discussing gender surgery (I can't remember why exactly BUT w/e), and at one point she scowls and says "are you telling me you want gender reassignment surgery or something?" in the most loathing voice, so of course I quickly reply "no, no!"

 

It's a sticky situation, I don't have a job because of physical disability so I can't afford to be kicked out or anything like that, so ofc if anyone has coming out tips (even just links) I'd greatly appreciate it!

 

(I don't even feel that comfortable typing this out bc that's how nervous I am RIP)

oh wow sorry about your mom. its very hard to come out when people act like that, and it can be scary in the first place

 

while i wish that i did, i unfortunately have no tips or tricks to this, because my parents, while theyre not as bad as others, really don't understand gender stuff so i'm not completely out myself. i really hope you'll get to a point with your parents that you're not misgendered everyday though, i know how much it can hurt.

 

also it's hard to really get people to take gender seriously. even MYSELF has trouble with taking my own gender seriously... and i blame that part on truscum.. (do they even still exist? idk i dont wanna have a discussion on them because they can make trans and nonbinary people panic)

 

what are your pronouns btw just to be sure?

Edited August 3, 2016 by Silverwinter

[Seel]

oh wow sorry about your mom. its very hard to come out when people act like that, and it can be scary in the first place

 

while i wish that i did, i unfortunately have no tips or tricks to this, because my parents, while theyre not as bad as others, really don't understand gender stuff so i'm not completely out myself. i really hope you'll get to a point with your parents that you're not misgendered everyday though, i know how much it can hurt.

 

also it's hard to really get people to take gender seriously. even MYSELF has trouble with taking my own gender seriously... and i blame that part on truscum.. (do they even still exist? idk i dont wanna have a discussion on them because they can make trans and nonbinary people panic)

 

what are your pronouns btw just to be sure?

oh he/him pronouns are good for me! it/its and they/them are good too, as long as it isn't she/her then I'm fine with anything haha

 

No no I feel you though! Sometimes I think to myself, "am I really not cis or am I just kidding myself?", it kind of gets ingrained in you after growing up hearing so much negative stuff about gender, doubting yourself is really tough >:0 I personally don't see a lot of truscum around anymore, but I think they call themselves transmedicalists now? but I'm not sure if thats a new thing or not tho?

 

good luck w/ your parents tho! hopefully they'll manage to understand one day, I've had to explain to many people about the whole gender thing and it sure gets tedious so I know how you feel on that side!

 

(good idea having your pronouns in your siggy tho, I'm gonna change mine to add them too )

Edited August 5, 2016 by yellow_gellow

[RWyvern]

Ayyy finally gonna drop by here

 

I'm at a really weird place where I'm a-okay with identifying myself as biologically female, but then flip-flopping between 'eh I can live with a feminine appearance' and 'man I wish I had a flat chest, less rounded hips and thinner lips' and it's really confusing?? I present myself as androgynous though so that's alright, I seem to have more masculine hormones which help? idk :'DD maybe I'm genderfluid

 

Of course then there's society's views why I'm sure many of you are familiar with >_e I've heard that facial hair on females is deemed freakish, but I've developed a bit and don't wanna get rid of it. Drop those outdated views people, I'm not one of your fashion-model girls who lives to look perfect in your eyes. I like to feel more masculine, more 'me',,, besides you gotta get right up in my face to really notice it.

 

slides under carpet this might be a safe space but i still feel nervous talkin' 'bout this haha

[Moonwick]

Ayyy finally gonna drop by here

 

I'm at a really weird place where I'm a-okay with identifying myself as biologically female, but then flip-flopping between 'eh I can live with a feminine appearance' and 'man I wish I had a flat chest, less rounded hips and thinner lips' and it's really confusing?? I present myself as androgynous though so that's alright, I seem to have more masculine hormones which help? idk :'DD maybe I'm genderfluid

 

Of course then there's society's views why I'm sure many of you are familiar with >_e I've heard that facial hair on females is deemed freakish, but I've developed a bit and don't wanna get rid of it. Drop those outdated views people, I'm not one of your fashion-model girls who lives to look perfect in your eyes. I like to feel more masculine, more 'me',,, besides you gotta get right up in my face to really notice it.

 

slides under carpet this might be a safe space but i still feel nervous talkin' 'bout this haha

it's completely natural to feel nervous talking about it, i'm sure everyone who's got those gender feels has anxiety when talking out loud about their issues

 

you might be experiencing dysphoria, which is definitely still possible no matter what gender you are ^^ i also have large amounts of testosterone in my body, and i am diagnosed with PCOS which is considered an intersex condition. so i can understand a bit

 

there are many reasons why society considers facial hair, or any body hair really, freakish on women, and it is disgusting

 

oh he/him pronouns are good for me! it/its and they/them are good too, as long as it isn't she/her then I'm fine with anything haha

 

No no I feel you though! Sometimes I think to myself, "am I really not cis or am I just kidding myself?", it kind of gets ingrained in you after growing up hearing so much negative stuff about gender, doubting yourself is really tough >:0 I personally don't see a lot of truscum around anymore, but I think they call themselves transmedicalists now? but I'm not sure if thats a new thing or not tho?

 

good luck w/ your parents tho! hopefully they'll manage to understand one day, I've had to explain to many people about the whole gender thing and it sure gets tedious so I know how you feel on that side!

 

(good idea having your pronouns in your siggy tho, I'm gonna change mine to add them too  thumbs_up.png)

 

oh nice! sorry i had to ask just in case!

 

nonbinary people and trans women in particular seem to get the brunt of hate from transmedicalists or truscum (ugh whatever they call themselves lol). back when they first started popping up, it was horrifying. they'd sneak their way into safe chats just to trigger people, or at least make people uncomfortable

 

this may sound harsh, but i'm glad they're almost dried out, it's about time. there aren't that many thankfully..

 

and yeah i swear if i have to explain the entire gender thing to one more person i may scream! being passionate and informing is alright with me but when people can't realize i'm not a freaking encyclopedia it gets VERY annoying >_>

[Starscream]

Ayyy finally gonna drop by here

 

I'm at a really weird place where I'm a-okay with identifying myself as biologically female, but then flip-flopping between 'eh I can live with a feminine appearance' and 'man I wish I had a flat chest, less rounded hips and thinner lips' and it's really confusing?? I present myself as androgynous though so that's alright, I seem to have more masculine hormones which help? idk :'DD maybe I'm genderfluid

 

Of course then there's society's views why I'm sure many of you are familiar with >_e I've heard that facial hair on females is deemed freakish, but I've developed a bit and don't wanna get rid of it. Drop those outdated views people, I'm not one of your fashion-model girls who lives to look perfect in your eyes. I like to feel more masculine, more 'me',,, besides you gotta get right up in my face to really notice it.

 

slides under carpet this might be a safe space but i still feel nervous talkin' 'bout this haha

I am not far off the mark of being a women biologically and a man mentally. I constantly have to pluck hair off my chin. I don't know what my hormones are at. I know I get some mean PMS. I would rather have less chest myself. I wish the female activities each month would cease. But I am otherwise okay with my feminine side. Otherwise, I have no idea what I am classified as.

 

I think part of why I think like a male is due to me being the only female in a huge amount of my classes, so I adopted male mannerisms and whatnot. However I was often the only female because I chose classes that was traditionally dominated by male students. females took other, more lady like courses.

 

I am either androgynous or genderfluid. I am married - puts me in an odd position. But my husband seems to not mind. He has a lot of fun with me as our interests tend to overlap.

Edited August 5, 2016 by Starscream

[Shienvien]

A lot of what you're supposed to do as female/male/whatever is heavily enforced by society (especially parents). I wish less people were made uncomfortable with what they wanted or might have otherwise tried or looked into to do just because it's "what girls/boys" do... Heck, I was used physical force on by my kindergarten "teacher" because I played with the "wrong" toys.

 

Liking tanks, computers and heavy sciences *DOES NOT* make one "masculine".

Liking cooking, clothes and romantic comedies *DOES NOT* make one "feminine".

 

Remember that.