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Gender Identity Safe Space Thread

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So we have a GSA thread, which, while it uses LGBTQ in its title, any gay straight alliance is going to focus on sexuality, not gender. So here is our gender safe space thread! I've actually been wanting to do this for a while but I wasn't sure if it'd be utilized. I'm going to go ahead and try it though.

 

Here you can introduce yourself, ask advice about coming out, and generally get support for when you're feeling mentally unwell. You can also just connect with other nonbinary folk here and perhaps make some friends. Questioning folk are welcome as well. Nonbinary otherkin folk are also welcome. Anybody nonbinary or possibly nonbinary, please seek support and friendship here if you wish. Intersex folk are also welcome here. This thread is for you. <3

 

I ask that any cis people who absolutely must post in this thread stay in a supportive role only. This thread is first and foremost for nonbinary people. If you want to ask questions, you should post in the Gender Identity thread. There's also an otherkin thread if that is what you're curious about. This is our safe space, not a place to demand or seek education or clarification. This is not a nonbinary-cis alliance thread. It is simply a safe space for nonbinary and questioning people.

 

Nobody may rant about or attack any forum users in this thread, even if you do not name them specifically.

 

With that said, let's begin! Feel free to start by introducing yourself. If wanted, we can do a list in the first or second post of usernames/pronouns? Lemme know!

 

Resources Resources may contain forum censored language, though I tried to avoid that. 'Passing' resources may contain genitalia references.

Edited by SockPuppet Strangler

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Thank god this is a thing, I don't have to be anxious out of my mind anymore.

 

I'm Oddi, I'm nonbinary, I use they/them pronouns, and I'm mentally ill polykin. I'm still really shaky but I'm doing much better, I just need to focus more when typing to avoid errors.

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(thank youu

i'm disabled cognitively and i have a really hard time tryin to give lengthy explanations for things and when my attention span is off and i'm upset i can not do it at all so i don't know what to do when people are demanding i explain things ahha)

 

I'm Troika

I have a few names I go by actually but that's the main one |D

I'm genderfluid (between female, demigirl, and agender but I'm a demigirl more often than the other two), bugkin, and extraterrestrialkin

I have six different pronoun sets that I'm okay with being called and I'm equally comfortable with all of them (but it makes me really happy when people alternate them once in awhile) c':

 

--

 

Pronouns Masterlist! (Alphabetical by username)

(I'll do my best to list everybody as they post in the thread, but if I miss anyone (or if I make any mistakes anywhere) just shoot me a message~)

 

DarkDagger (Fawkesian): They/them, he/him

Fizzix: No preference (?)

Fractional Pi Day (Pi): They/them

harlequinraven: She/her

keijaidyyn: No preference

Lady_Lunevis (Lady, Fata): She/her, they/them, PM for neopronoun set

oddinomaly (Oddi): They/them

Pika_Oi (Troika): Listed here~ (any of those are fine)

Slater_C (Ace): No preference (he/him and they/them are fine)

Sockpuppet Strangler: She/her, xe/xir/xie/xyr

sparkle10184 (Sparkle): Xe/xer, they/them

Switch: He/him

VampiricOmen (Omen): He/him, they/them

Edited by Pika_Oi

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Ah yes I can see this being super useful!! Hello I'm Pi and I'm opting out of genders entirely, my pronouns are they/them.

 

I'm curious, do/how do you guys get people in real life to use your pronouns? I'm still she/her to basically everyone but a couple of my close friends and I have no idea how to bring it up with anyone.

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I don't generally, I'm not really "out" about most of my identity irl because I don't feel like anybody would understand :N

It's not really a HUGE deal I guess in my case since I'm still okay with being called she/her most of the time but at the same time I don't really like being thought of as solely female :L

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*offers huggles to oddi and Troika*

 

~

 

I've been going by nonbinary because it's the easiest explanation. I suppose genderfluid would be closest in a less general sense, but I don't feel completely connected to the term. I feel like it's still general. A while back someone proposed the term alexigender, which is having a fluid gender, but not having words for each individual experience (a - lack of, lexi - words). In a more specific sense, I've also been saying I'm an AFAB "agender woman". Sometimes I feel more disconnected from my gender than other times. Sometimes I even feel agender and like a woman at the same time. Sometimes I feel like I just exist in a weird, disconnected vacuum. Sometimes I'd like for my body to be agender. Sometimes I'm okay with it the way it is. I've only experienced one serious body dysphoria time (about a month long). Other than that, I don't really experience body or social dysphoria (although I violently hate being referred to as male in meatspace; I only violently hate it over the internet when people do it maliciously). I mostly just experience confusion. I don't really know what to go by. I don't really understand who I am. To online friends, I've started introducing the concept of referring to me by she/her OR xie/xir pronouns (I don't mind they/them pronouns, but wanted to see how xie/xir would feel).

 

So to get to your question, Pi, nope. I have no brought up being nonbinary, much less using alternate pronouns for me, with my family or meatspace friends. I've no idea how to bring it up either. Coming out as asexual was easy because everyone already knew I was different than them. Coming out as nonbinary is not quite as easy for several reasons including that I'm sure nobody will see it coming but also that my family isn't the most nb-accepting and finally the fact that if I'm confused, I'm sure they'll be even more confused. (I had a trans male friend in HS who we first met in GS and my mom absolutely couldn't get over the hump of using he/him pronouns, although she did kind of try I think. Her and my sister always had lots of questions as well and I don't think they're completely accepting still. If binary trans folk were hard for them to accept, I highly doubt they're going to understand and accept people outside the binary.)

 

So, uh, good luck, Pi! xP I would guess advice would be similar to coming out of the closet for sexuality. Just take a deep breath and say it. <3

Edited by SockPuppet Strangler

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Hi smile.gif This is a really great idea!

 

I'm sparkle10184 (too long? call me sparkle), I'm genderfluid, and I use xe/xer or they/them pronouns.

 

So.. Yeah...

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Heyo! I'm Fawkesian or just Fawkes, and I'm neutrois. I go by they/them or he/him, not a lot of preference either way, though I mostly use the latter in public. It's nice to see that there are some other nonbinary folk here!

 

Not gonna lie, it can be tough. My father is anti-trans, which really does not help with the dysphoria, but luckily I don't need to live in his house anymore. The biggest challenge right now is trying to set up therapy and a legal name change. I'm not sure how much I'll be able to get done before I start college (I'm on a gap year), and though my mother has mostly been accepting, I don't think she's willing to help with the actual process.

 

 

tiny little edit since I've decided that "neutrois" is more accurate than "gender-neutral"

Edited by DarkDagger

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I'm in a similar situation, Fawkes. I never officially came out, instead just dropping my identity in passing, but because I've been so casual no one has taken me seriously. I don't think my mom knows how long I've felt this way. I am so afraid to officially come out and ask for people to use my pronouns. I don't want to be made fun of, even though it'll happen anyway. It always happens, online or irl. :/

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I hate, hate, HATE when in gym at school we split up the teams by boys and girls.

Like dude noooooo

Stop cramming me into this little binary bubble

Pleaseeeee

 

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^^^ Literally the worst thing. It's so anxiety inducing and it makes me feel super left out. Over all it makes me feel like butt.

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I hate, hate, HATE when in gym at school we split up the teams by boys and girls.

Like dude noooooo

Stop cramming me into this little binary bubble

Pleaseeeee

I don't fully identify as cis, necessarily, but I use she/her. However, I still dislike this. It forces even people who identify as a binary gender into gender stereotypes. It reinforces the idea that there are only two possible, narrowly-defined identities.

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To above poster:

I now have no idea what gender I am, and it's all YOUR fault!

Just kidding, just kidding.

I do have no idea what gender I am, though. You always struck me as male, so when I realized you were a biological female, it was sorta a shocker. It made me reconsider the fact that I identify as female, because I always feel more comfortable around male(presenting) people and inadvertently present myself as male in minecraft alot.png.

So yes, still figuring it out over here.

Edit: I don't know what gender you identify as, but you sounded pretty male to me. Sorry if I insulted anyone.

I would ask that we avoid gendering speech or other things in this thread, please. I would also ask that we not misgender users or gender them based on our own opinions rather than what their posts say. Thanks. <3

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Ah yes I can see this being super useful!! Hello I'm Pi and I'm opting out of genders entirely, my pronouns are they/them.

 

I'm curious, do/how do you guys get people in real life to use your pronouns? I'm still she/her to basically everyone but a couple of my close friends and I have no idea how to bring it up with anyone.

at this stage i cant unfortunately. the only person who's ever called me he irl was a specialist doctor i saw. it felt really nice, but my parents aren't getting it and id probably get in trouble if i asked anyone else... (´~` )

luckily my internet friends are all cool abt it.

 

also i appreciate making a specific safe space, Sock, thanks a bunch! ouo/

for anyone who doesnt know im a transboy, using he/him pronouns

Edited by Switch

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Hi!

 

I'm Omen and I identify as nonbinary see update below. I'm still questioning where on the spectrum I feel most comfortable with identifying as, it's been a rather enlightening journey. To date I haven't found a label that really resonates with me beyond the initial realisation that the idea of a gender spectrum instead of a binary really makes me feel less like an abnormality and more like a person. I have been soul searching on top of researching to assist me in finding myself, which has further muddied the waters of my identity. Still, I'm persevering with the hopes of finding self acceptance and maybe the name of my identity in the end.

 

I'm not out to anyone in real life, although I have been expressing myself in a masculine manner for as long as I can remember. I'm hoping that'll ease things along when I do eventually invite my family in, as it's been difficult to not say something when I'm feeling particularly uncomfortable or stressed.

 

My preferred pronouns are they/them/theirs, but I'm ambivalent towards he/him/his and she/her/hers so if you use those, that's okay too.

 

I'm glad this thread has been made. I sorta felt like a heel when I last posted in the Gender and Gender Identity discussion thread, so I've avoided posting ever since. ._.

 

Update: I actually figured out more or less where I am on the gender spectrum. I'm a demiguy and will on occasion use the term transmasculine to describe myself. My pronouns are now he/him/his, though the use of they/them/theirs is okay. I don't appreciate the use of she/her/hers in reference to me, though won't see it as a microaggression unless it's indented to be one.

Edited by VampiricOmen

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That thread is more of a debate or, as I like to call it, 'disagreement' thread. This one should be more accepting and mindful, with more emphasis on understanding each other's experiences, and hopefully with discussion on some topics like labels within the nonbinary community. :o Welcome aboard!

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That thread is more of a debate or, as I like to call it, 'disagreement' thread. This one should be more accepting and mindful, with more emphasis on understanding each other's experiences, and hopefully with discussion on some topics like labels within the nonbinary community. :o Welcome aboard!

yeah p much. it's gotten pretty nasty in threads not designated as safe spaces in the past so this is pretty important. i was getting weary of it so this is very nice indeedy.

Edited by Switch

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Speaking of which, if there are any resources that people want to suggest to the first post, I'm more than happy to add them. Resources on coming out or links for good trans clothes, whatever. I actually have some I may have to go look up. o3o

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fairysharkmother on tumblr has masterposts of resources you can link?

yeah from what i've seen they've got nice stuff ouo umm i can't think of any masterposts personally off the top of my head but if i come across any nice looking ones i'll link them here yes? always good to have those

speaking of i've been hearing people say march 31st is gonna be trans awareness day (which i didnt even kno about :v) but people are being encouraged to take selfies for it and stuff and i think im gonna do that \ouo/

Edited by Switch

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My only beef with FSM is that they have never been supportive of the otherkin community, and the mod (who is a fantastic human, bless his heart) has said some harmful things about certain kintypes.

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My only beef with FSM is that they have never been supportive of the otherkin community, and the mod (who is a fantastic human, bless his heart) has said some harmful things about certain kintypes.

ohhh yeah i remember that.... i haven't seen anything wrong with their masterposts at least tho? i dunno. i haven't heard about that from them for a while though. also they've been doing a lot of changing of the mods lately so maybe thats diff. idk. ;3;

 

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I hope it is, I've yet to see them answer any questions from otherkin. :/ Their masterposts are great, but I'm wary of the blog itself because of M.O.D.'s harmful and ignorant views of godkin and the like.

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Goddamn, the events from the otherkin thread still have me on edge, even hours after the fact. I want to point something out that could technically be considered discriminatory, but I feel like people will turn around and claim it isn't (despite not being trans themselves and having no right to define what is or is not transphobic behavior...), claim that I'm being oversensitive or something, and ignore everything I have to say. :/ It's really stressful, because on one hand I have knowledge I'd like to share, but on the other hand I just know I'm going to get zero support. It's horrible. I don't want to start another argument, but I also want to educate, only I'm not sure I have the emotional stability to handle being bombarded with questions and ignorance.

 

I hate PTSD, I hate anxiety, and I hate depression. They're all things that are steadily ruining my ability to handle effective communication. :'<

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