Ask a stupid question, get a stupid answer

[Astreya]

I guess that's because you asked the wrong questions

 

Why do I never manage to win the first price in a lottery?

[Long_Before_Sunrise]

Because they don't want to be named Brotinaia or Sishinion. They're vain, those prize dragons.

 

But I was told there was no harm in asking questions if I didn't know something?

[catstaff]

There's no harm in asking, but there's no guarantee you'll get the answer you want.

 

Why were you expecting a certain answer anyway?

[Long_Before_Sunrise]

Because the answer should always be yes unless I want it to be no.

 

Is it yes or no?

[SomeRandomCorviknight]

it's a maybe.

 

Someone said that another person's username checks out. Where can i get my username to get a profession of working at a check out?

[catstaff]

Either Wonderland or Through the Looking Glass.

 

Have you sent your username to apply for check out positions with that big white rabbit over there?

[Lagie]

I'm late! I'm late! For a very important date!

 

What's down that rabbithole?

[Long_Before_Sunrise]

Conspiracy theorists.

 

Where have the bunnies gone?

[Lagie]

Long time passing.

 

Do bunnies like carrots?

[catstaff]

Depends on the bunnies, but I can think of a few who love carats... especially 22 carats set with diamonds.

 

And who decided that diamonds are a girl's best friend anyway?

[Long_Before_Sunrise]

It was a dragon gem-swapping fad that turned out to be a scheme by the Pyralspites to lower the value of garnets.

 

How much begging do you got to do anound here to get a 2G SAlt? 

[SomeRandomCorviknight]

depends how good you are at puppy eyes.

 

What's christmas?

[Long_Before_Sunrise]

It's when you spend too much money on other people who will be a little disappointed. I guess that's why they say 'Every Day Can Be Christmas.' Generally there's also more little twinkle lights shining, but they don't take those down until February, so I dunno.

 

Did the electric companies come up with idea of putting up a lot of extra lights on the longest coldest nights of the year in the Northern Hemisphere?

[catstaff]

No, but I'm pretty sure Trans-Siberian Orchestra came up with the idea of pairing said extra lights (and the systems to sync them with the music) as a way to sell more albums.

 

And with that many lights, how long does it take to figure out which one is the burned-out bulb that makes them all go out?

[Long_Before_Sunrise]

Three hours per 25 ft. strand. Don't even ask about icicle lights.

 

Who has a mallet to make sure I go to sleep early tonight?

 

[Lagie]

@Fortune86, of course!

Or Wiley Coyote...

 

What do bed bugs have to do with sleep?

[Long_Before_Sunrise]

In Xanth, they're large beetles with cushioned backs that don't mind if you lie on top of them. Wait, that's another one of those books series we don't admit to reading.

 

Is @Fortune86 going to show up on time in my time zone or in hers?

[SomeRandomCorviknight]

hers, in what ever time is convenient. You said you wanted sleep, not when.

 

Who ate my cupcakes?

[Long_Before_Sunrise]

There was no sign saying those cupcakes were reserved for you.

 

How did I wind up in the attic?

 

 

[SomeRandomCorviknight]

you shouldn't've stolen cupcakes

 

is shouldn't've a real conjuction?

[Long_Before_Sunrise]

Conjuction? What's your function? (you wouldn't know that reference. It's Schoolhouse Rock.)

 

How dare you be awake? This is my hour!

[catstaff]

Last I checked, this hour didn't have your name on it, so anyone can use it.

 

And how does one go about reserving an hour to themselves anyway?

[Long_Before_Sunrise]

Father Time is being stingy with his few remaining days. You'll have to send an application to Baby New Year.

 

Do you see any problems with this system?

[catstaff]

No, but I'm not looking for problems either.

 

Why are you looking for problems?

[Long_Before_Sunrise]

So they can't ambush me.

 

What if I accidently use the NR eggs in the cooking game?