Posted June 20, 2017 I see no problem with the whole wing colour back story and love the idea of freezing one that has coloured incorrectly. I freeze all my naughty nebulae. But I do adore them which is the reason for trying to give them all a unique description. I understand the frozen in place issue, my point is the freeze action states You cast a spell on the hatchling that stops any aging. I'm not casting the spell, this is all her father's doing. It's his spell. I just can't seem to get that across in the description without loosing something else that I like. Share this post Link to post
Posted June 20, 2017 I freeze all my naughty nebulae. But I do adore them which is the reason for trying to give them all a unique description. I understand the frozen in place issue, my point is the freeze action states You cast a spell on the hatchling that stops any aging. I'm not casting the spell, this is all her father's doing. It's his spell. I just can't seem to get that across in the description without loosing something else that I like. It does say her father froze her in place. Hmm. I know you're out of characters though so adding that the spell also froze her in size as well isn't going to fit. Share this post Link to post
Posted June 20, 2017 It does say her father froze her in place. Hmm. I know you're out of characters though so adding that the spell also froze her in size as well isn't going to fit. There was a huge bit about the spell - it got cut I'll see what the mods make of it I guess and maybe shuffle something. Share this post Link to post
Posted June 20, 2017 (edited) Oh, okay! I confused player freezing with in-story freezing. >.> How about: As the only daughter of a proud Golden Wyvern father and Red Nebula mother, Trades was bound for greatness. Some say that the color of the wings is no choice and that it is down to the dragon's diet or maybe the time of year they were born. The truth is that no one really knows. Trades knew from an early age that she was expected to continue the family line by finding a suitable mate and settling down. All she wanted was to fly. To visit new places and gaze up at the stars. A loner by nature and rather lazy to boot, she would rather spend her days sleeping and her evenings watching the stars. Trades gained her blue wings much to the disappointment of her parents. Knowing she was no longer good enough, she made plans to leave the nest and follow her dreams. As she laid sleeping, her father froze her in time and place as a lesson to his future offspring not to be disobedient. Trades now stands defiantly frozen, her eyes pleading to Nebulae across the land not to follow in her footsteps. ? 999 characters. I haven't forgotten yoooou, DraDeWriMo: https://dragcave.net/view/DnuDA Edited June 20, 2017 by dirtytabs Share this post Link to post
Posted June 21, 2017 Oh, okay! I confused player freezing with in-story freezing. >.> Thank you for the description edit. It works, it fits perfectly and now I shall wait. I think a lot of people thought it was player freezing, but no it was her father. I had nothing to do with it. Share this post Link to post
Posted June 21, 2017 https://dragcave.net/view/a9zGv https://dragcave.net/view/p5dXp I just described two more! It's a blind painter and her helper. Share this post Link to post
Posted June 21, 2017 (edited) It's not the most exciting batch this time, but at least I'm back on track. https://dragcave.net/group/12841 Darrjo had to go back for a slight rework (tarantula hawk drakes are not naturally aggressive), but with luck his description will be showing up again soon. Edited June 21, 2017 by Mathcat Share this post Link to post
Posted June 21, 2017 https://dragcave.net/view/a9zGv https://dragcave.net/view/p5dXp I just described two more! It's a blind painter and her helper. Aww. I just want to point out that blind painters do exist! Some have help from assistants like Birthday Mint does, while others find ways to go at it alone by etching the surface, recognizing paint by feel, etc. They're amazing. On and off track, and back on track: https://dragcave.net/view/cYt1G Share this post Link to post
Posted June 21, 2017 https://dragcave.net/view/lqANk I described another one! I really need to get that description I wrote a long time ago actually on the dragon that it's for. Share this post Link to post
Posted June 22, 2017 So on my "Cheesie Buttler" someone suggested buttlering. I don't want buttlering, I want buttling, which is also a real word. The person who eventually approves it won't change it to buttlering, right? You can resubmit it. I looked it up too and I ended up changing it. Sorry. I misread it as "butting". Also queue is back at 0 and I updated the google doc, if ya'll wanna check it (Tabs, Kanaye, etc.) Share this post Link to post
Posted June 22, 2017 (edited) The Sky is the Li-Mint has always been a shy dragon, but when he has a costume and a role to play on a stage, he transforms. He seems to become the character he was assigned, and he speaks with emotion and clarity. Noticing this, Playwright Dramatist has him in many of her plays, as he is perfect for the type of plays that she writes for Rivertones Productions. Since he does so much acting for Rivertones Productions, his payment for that is a place to stay that is near the theater. The Sky is the Li-Mint is an actor for Rivertones Productions. The plays that Rivertones Productions creates use few special effects and illusions, as the founder prefers simpler, more realistic plays over other types. Moderator Reject: Second paragraph wording is off. Creates use? I've had the same paragraph with a different first sentence on a few other approved descriptions. Should I change it? Little Gems designs the costumes that many of the actors working for Rivertones Productions wear. It is not known what the hatchling does at other times. It will often sneak away, as it is rather shy and does not like attention. It does, however, enjoy the praise from Playwright Dramatist, whom it seems to see as its mother. Little Gems is the costume designer of Rivertones Productions. The plays that Rivertones Productions creates use few special effects and illusions, as the founder prefers simpler, more realistic plays over other types. Moderator Reject: The second paragraph doesn't make very much sense. Perhaps rework it a bit? What doesn't make sense and what should I change it to? Edited June 22, 2017 by Peachycupcake525 Share this post Link to post
Posted June 22, 2017 The Sky is the Li-Mint has always been a shy dragon, but when he has a costume and a role to play on a stage, he transforms. He seems to become the character he was assigned, and he speaks with emotion and clarity. Noticing this, Playwright Dramatist has him in many of her plays, as he is perfect for the type of plays that she writes for Rivertones Productions. Since he does so much acting for Rivertones Productions, his payment for that is a place to stay that is near the theater. The Sky is the Li-Mint is an actor for Rivertones Productions. The plays that Rivertones Productions creates use few special effects and illusions, as the founder prefers simpler, more realistic plays over other types. ....... Little Gems designs the costumes that many of the actors working for Rivertones Productions wear. It is not known what the hatchling does at other times. It will often sneak away, as it is rather shy and does not like attention. It does, however, enjoy the praise from Playwright Dramatist, whom it seems to see as its mother. Little Gems is the costume designer of Rivertones Productions. The plays that Rivertones Productions creates use few special effects and illusions, as the founder prefers simpler, more realistic plays over other types. I'm sorry if this is unwarranted, but I thought maybe I could give some suggestions, at least? Some of the wording is quite awkward, so here goes... "The Sky is the L-Mint was always a shy dragon, but with a costume and a role to play on stage, he transforms. He seems to become the character he is portraying, speaking with emotion and clarity. Noticing his talent, Playwright Dramatist has cast him in many of her plays, as he is perfect for many of the plays she has written for Rivertones Productions. His payment for all his work at Rivertones Productions is a place to stay near the theater. Rivertones Productions' creators use few special effects and illusions, as the founder prefers more realistic plays over other types." as for the second one.... "Little Gem designs a majority of the costumes for the actors at Rivertones Productions. It is not known what the hatchling does in its free time. It often sneaks away, as it is rather shy and does not like attention. It does, however, enjoy the praise it receives from Playwright Dramatist, whom it seems to see as its mother. Rivertones Productions' creators use few special effects and illusions, as the founder prefers more realistic plays over other types." Share this post Link to post
Posted June 22, 2017 (edited) Moderator Reject: Second paragraph wording is off. Creates use? I've had the same paragraph with a different first sentence on a few other approved descriptions. Should I change it? Moderator Reject: The second paragraph doesn't make very much sense. Perhaps rework it a bit? What doesn't make sense and what should I change it to? *The company's plays use...* In my native tongue you would just say *The plays, which the company creates, use* but those commas would be off in English Edit: Or Alrexwolf's suggestions Edited June 22, 2017 by herk Share this post Link to post
Posted June 22, 2017 Got a few more to add. Probably not gonna make the 300 that I set myself, but I'm gonna do as many as possible. https://dragcave.net/lineage/uFr9M https://dragcave.net/lineage/pCQRW https://dragcave.net/lineage/qbaqQ https://dragcave.net/lineage/kOEaw Share this post Link to post
Posted June 22, 2017 *The company's plays use...* In my native tongue you would just say *The plays, which the company creates, use* but those commas would be off in English That actually works, but for the 'don't separate the subject and verb' rule. Share this post Link to post
Posted June 22, 2017 (edited) Just felt like clarifying something for one of the descriptions, the Shimmer, in case these affect moderation. Accept: *leader* (no capital L) -H I know, but it was deliberate since I use it as a title in my scroll stories. Not sure how I could express that, though >.> Abstain: "view" should be something like "aim" or "goal". The sentence starting "Something" is a fragment - something like this would solve it: "And he would've accomplished it" While I agree on the second one and will change it, the first change is unneeded because "a view to do something" literally means "with the intention/aim to do something". Edited June 22, 2017 by CharonDusk Share this post Link to post
Posted June 23, 2017 Thank you for the help with those! I resubmitted the two, so hopefully they are improved! Share this post Link to post
Posted June 23, 2017 You can resubmit it. I looked it up too and I ended up changing it. Sorry. I misread it as "butting". Also queue is back at 0 and I updated the google doc, if ya'll wanna check it (Tabs, Kanaye, etc.) I resubmitted it. Share this post Link to post
Posted June 23, 2017 Day 3 prompts! (Didn't see Herk post them). United by a common difference Long-running feud Friendly rivalry Finally tackled prompt 3 and it turned into prompt 2: https://dragcave.net/view/6akyI Also touches on "A dragon that takes something too seriously", "Complaints", and "An overly dramatic dragon". No prompt (may have posted these already): https://dragcave.net/view/83o1V https://dragcave.net/view/RRbZ0 https://dragcave.net/view/lAdW5 Share this post Link to post
Posted June 23, 2017 Here are the rest of the prompts I've sent in so far, in case anybody needs more inspiration. June 18 Ingenuity. Laziness. Creativity. June 19 A healer who isn't a white dragon. A magician who isn't a magi. A warrior who isn't a black dragon. June 20 A hatchling-tender who isn't a pink or purple. A non-vampire who lives among vampires. A land-dwelling dragon who dreams of the ocean. June 21 A dragon who reminds others of a cat. A dragon who reminds others of a dog. A dragon who reminds others of a shark. June 22 A dragon who is the odd one out in their weyr. A dragon who likes to herd things. A healer with unusual patients. June 23 A weird magical accident. A weird magical illness. A dragon who suffers from allergies. (I think I have another batch lurking around in my notes somewhere, but I'd need to find it again.) Share this post Link to post
Posted June 23, 2017 Thanks, Mathcat! Did I miss any other prompts from Earth Gurl or Herk? It seems a while since either of them posted prompts. Share this post Link to post
Posted June 23, 2017 Thanks, Mathcat! Did I miss any other prompts from Earth Gurl or Herk? It seems a while since either of them posted prompts. sorry Share this post Link to post
Posted June 23, 2017 (edited) sorry No worries. It was an idle question. Psst, for those not in the know, here's the Google doc: https://docs.google.com/spreadsheets/d/1vvG...#gid=1162819040 Edited June 23, 2017 by Lagie Share this post Link to post
Posted June 24, 2017 A hatchling-tender who isn't a pink or purple. A land-dwelling dragon who dreams of the ocean. Not quite original: https://dragcave.net/view/ERd3S Also, I assumed I already had a land dweller thinking of the ocean, but this is the closest I have (he did live in the ocean and didn't like it...): https://dragcave.net/view/umwBU Share this post Link to post
Posted June 24, 2017 (edited) I Wanna Write! Username: ab613 Trophy Level: platinum Personal Goal: Starting late, but would like to finish all the posted prompts by the 30th. That means 13 prompts a day if I do all new prompts as they arrive. Okay this is way harder than I remembered so I'll cut it down to a minimum of 6 a day and do the rest past the deadline. + review at least 20 a day. Some from me in case people need more ideas: > Dragon who has lived through drastic changes to their environment > Overwhelmingly plain dragon who thinks they're the coolest thing on the planet > A dragon who has looked over one family of humans throughout the generations And here is a compilation of all the prompts thus far! I ordered them as they were posted, sorry if I missed anything. I will start writing now and update this post with links once the first batch is done. -- Group of dragons for this goal 1. An unusual hoard https://dragcave.net/lineage/iy51N 2. An unusual hobby https://dragcave.net/lineage/d5gjl 3. An unusual pet https://dragcave.net/lineage/XUTTs 4. An awkward life debt https://dragcave.net/lineage/Kpgyp 5. A dragon superhero https://dragcave.net/lineage/YLjg0 6. An unlikely hero https://dragcave.net/lineage/MiVky -- 7. A dragon who's raised/tamed a human https://dragcave.net/lineage/y4yKk 8. A sentence-long description https://dragcave.net/lineage/Va3WS 9. United by a common difference https://dragcave.net/lineage/8edNi 10. Long-running feud https://dragcave.net/lineage/YAbuS 11. Friendly rivalry https://dragcave.net/lineage/Uxspk 12. An odd curse. https://dragcave.net/lineage/7ngqS Edited June 26, 2017 by ab613 Share this post Link to post
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