Description Force!

[Cinspawn]

Just now, Seraphim said:

At the end of the day, you do you and I can't stop you, but I wanted to try give perspective from the other side. I've had abstains and rejections with no comments (and I'm sure I'm not the only one this has happened to!) but it's like, obviously these people see something wrong with my descriptions, but I won't know because I'm not a mind reader. 

That makes sense. I've gotten a reject too without a comment which also left me puzzled. I guess I'll just stop reviewing then when I come along a description I don't know what to do with (which is what I've been doing so far).

 

I'm guessing it's also a bit of self consciousness of not being helpful enough in the comments. 😅

[Lagie]

I occasionally abstain without comment but usually only when a description totally confounds me.

 

Those of you reviewing, please read descriptions carefully before you accept them! I had one get three accepts and no one noticed the two typos or the fact I had used he and him all the way through... on a female dragon.

 

[Dirtytabs]

On 12/8/2018 at 1:39 PM, Lagie said:

Those of you reviewing, please read descriptions carefully before you accept them! I had one get three accepts and no one noticed the two typos or the fact I had used he and him all the way through... on a female dragon.

Oh, me too! (Not the typos, I think. Just the he and him.)

It had two Accepts and showed as pending. I was going to correct the pronouns then thought that calling her a he actually makes a lot of sense and can be worked into the description, so I added that final sentence.

[Lagie]

1 hour ago, Dirtytabs said:

Oh, me too! (Not the typos, I think. Just the he and him.)

It had two Accepts and showed as pending. I was going to correct the pronouns then thought that calling her a he actually makes a lot of sense and can be worked into the description, so I added that final sentence.

Nice work in!

[Cinspawn]

9 hours ago, Dirtytabs said:

Oh, me too! (Not the typos, I think. Just the he and him.)

It had two Accepts and showed as pending. I was going to correct the pronouns then thought that calling her a he actually makes a lot of sense and can be worked into the description, so I added that final sentence.

Hah, that's really clever! Well done 

[evilSpectra]

Hey guys! I had a description rejected since I used the non-gendered pronoun 'ou' - it's for my unknown gender neglected.

 

Ou is a pretty archaic pronoun - it is English, but hasn't really been used much since medieval times. I thought it was appropriate considering the fantasy/medieval setting and was hoping context would be enough to get the meaning across, but while I did have some yay votes, it also tripped at least two people up. I don't want my writing to be inaccessible to folks.

 

So thoughts. Do I try to work an explanation of ou into the text, do I go ahead and use a more modern gender neutral pronoun like they, or something else? 

Edited December 19, 2018 by evilSpectra

[Lagie]

I was one of those you tripped up, @evilSpectra!

I'd prefer something less arcane, but maybe we need a mod to weigh in. @Earth Gurl? @Kaini?

[Dirtytabs]

@evilSpectra If you want to work an explanation in, you could try the parenthetical route "(the term by which X is known)". Or the interrupting dashes " - not he nor she but ou - ". Or figure out how to make it an in-story reference. Like someone else referring to the dragon rather than the narrator informing the reader. If character limit allows.

 

Or you can ask a mod directly to have the description approved, now that you've demonstrated you know what you're doing. I've messaged mods before for some I'm-pretty-sure-this-is-going-to-confuse-people descriptions.

 

(Is ou the objective case, too?)

[Kaini]

Wasn't me this time, but i might blow through some descriptions today!

 

@evilSpectra I'd approve it with the explanation. Not something I would have known otherwise, but it fits with the universe as far as i'm concerned.

[evilSpectra]

Thank you for the advice and weigh-in folks. I'll get that tweaked with an explanation and resubmitted.

 

(And start working on other descriptions <3)

[BrazenChase]

A few of my descriptions got approved either last week or the week before and it's inspired me to write some more.

 

Thanks to everyone who has been leaving me feedback on-site! Very helpful and I appreciate the encouragement too ^^

[Dirtytabs]

Quote

Snow Yam is often found underground. That doesn't sound atypical since many dragons live in caves, but she likes to dig a hole in the snow and dirt and lie buried, usually shallowly enough that air supply is no issue. Locals digging and playing in the snow sometimes hit something solid and are surprised to see the dragon's blue-white skin under their shovels, and they are even more surprised to see that it belongs to a snow angel who isn't at all angry that she was found. Curious folks wonder if she turned a blue tint after being in the cold too long, but she assures them that that's her natural complexion.

 

Reject: Uses very casual wording to adress reader, refers to dragon as a singular "she" rather than a collective they/them. Try writing like you're making a scientific report

Huh!!?

[Lagie]

4 hours ago, Dirtytabs said:

Huh!!?

Maybe someone doesn't get how descriptions work? I'd be more inclined to reject a scientific report style one.

[Ninetails]

Hmmm. Do you think it would be okay to mention that your dragon killed another in a description? Of course not on graphic detail or anything, but just to establish the character of your dragon. Or maybe I could imply that it happened somehow?  It does not say anything in the rules against it, but I just wanted to get some opinions. 

 

Also, sorry if this isn't the right place for this. 

[Herk]

That is NO problem. Not all dragons are nice and even the breed descrips mention stuff like Falconis EATING other dragons

[Dirtytabs]

Sure. There are plenty of in-cave breeds who definitely do a lot of killing - meanies like hooktalons and such. Oh and like Herk said, most dragons are meat eaters and they gotta get their grub some way.

Edited January 24, 2019 by Dirtytabs

[Ninetails]

Ahhh, great! Glad I don't have to scrap the description I have, then. I just didn't want to offend anyone, so I was a little concerned. 

 

Thanks for answering, y'all! 

[Kaini]

4 hours ago, Ninetails said:

Hmmm. Do you think it would be okay to mention that your dragon killed another in a description? Of course not on graphic detail or anything, but just to establish the character of your dragon. Or maybe I could imply that it happened somehow?  It does not say anything in the rules against it, but I just wanted to get some opinions. 

  

Also, sorry if this isn't the right place for this. 

 

Oh yea, like everyone else said, no problem. As long as it's not over the top graphic. The 'kill' action on the site describes the player stabbing a dragon with a knife, so ;D

[Ninetails]

Is it okay to post descriptions here in hopes of getting feedback? 

[Herk]

Sure

[Lagie]

19 hours ago, Ninetails said:

Is it okay to post descriptions here in hopes of getting feedback? 

Certainly!

 

I have one pending, with nine accepts and one reject.

And @Herk, I've described that minty!

[Dirtytabs]

Uhm. Are any of you seeing the "error" tombstone when clicking "describe" on a not-yet-described critter?

Edit: Oh, well then! I might post on the Help forum. If no one can add to it, now's a good time to put a dent in the queue.  

Edited February 13, 2019 by Dirtytabs

[Kaini]

Hm. Yes. : v

[Dirtytabs]

Oh it's back! Wonderful, now I can go on with describing.

 

 

I do mean "person". Putting her species has a certain sound to it that I don't like. We all say, "I'm a good person" rather than "I'm a good human".

[AislinnSi]

I wonder, would it be weird to give a dragon a "job" so to speak? They're "highly-intelligent" and capable of using magic, so I'd imagine they'd be capable of at least helping humans with a lot of mundane tasks and occupations; like a plumber with a sea serpent who helped clean aqueducts, or pygmies being messengers, or even a script dragon becoming a scribe and learning the words of humans? I think it would be interesting.

Edited February 22, 2019 by AislinnSi